Chapter 14 Chapter 12 Schweik Became Lieutenant Lukasch's Bian

{{1}} Shortly after Schweik's good luck, cruel fate severed his friendship with the priest.Although the abbe had been very agreeable before, one of his nonsense at this time took away his amiability. The priest sold Schweik to Lieutenant Lukasch, or rather he lost Schweik at a game of cards, just as the serfs had been done in Russia in the past.Things happen unexpectedly.Lukasch invited back guests, and they played poker. The priest kept on losing, and at last he said, "How much can you lend me my horse as collateral? He's a top-notch idiot, and he's really different. I bet you've never seen Such a horse."

"Then I'll lend you a hundred crowns," said Lieutenant Lukasch. "If the money isn't returned by the day after tomorrow, that treasure of yours will be mine. My current horse is a mess. He's slumped all day, and keeps writing letters home; that's not enough, what did he touch?" Just steal anything. I beat him up once, but it didn't help. I knocked him on the head as soon as I saw him, and he didn't change a bit. I knocked out some of his front teeth, and he still healed. Not this guy." "Well, then, it's settled," said the priest indifferently. "If you don't pay you a hundred crowns the day after tomorrow, Schweik will be yours."

He lost all his hundred crowns, and went home sad.He knew that it would be absolutely impossible to collect the hundred crowns within the stipulated time, and in fact he had sold Schweik shamelessly. "Actually, it would have been the same if I had said two hundred crowns," he muttered to himself, but when he changed the trolley, the general feeling of self-reproach came over him. "I'm not very good at this," he mused, ringing the bell. "Damn it, I don't know how to face him squarely, damn it!" "Dear Schweik," he said as he entered the door. "A very unusual thing happened. My card luck went home.

I lost everything on me. " After pondering for a while, he continued: "In the end, I lost you too. I took you as collateral and borrowed a hundred crowns. If I don't pay the bill the day after tomorrow, you will no longer be my man, Lieutenant Lukasch. I'm so sorry." "I have a hundred crowns which I can lend you," said Schweik. "Bring it quickly," said the priest, freshening up. "I'll send it to Lukas right away. I don't want to part with you." Lukasch was surprised to see the priest come back. "I've come to pay that debt of yours, and let's bet on it again," said the abbe, gazing proudly about him.

"Double wins and losses!" said the priest when it was his turn. In the second round of betting, he was desperate again. "Twenty counts," said the banker. "I have nineteen points in total," said the abbé despondently, losing the last forty crowns of the hundred-crown note that Schweik had given him to redeem him from new bondage. On the way home, the priest concluded that there was no room for change.There was nothing left to save Schweik, who was destined to take Lieutenant Lukasch's place in the post. When Schweik had let him in, the priest said to Schweik: "It's impossible, Schweik. No one can violate his own destiny. I've lost you and your hundred crowns.

I tried my best, but God will prevail.Fate has sent you into the clutches of Lieutenant Lukasch, and the time has come for us to part. " "Did the dealer win a lot?" Schweik asked freely, and then he made some light rum.At the end of the drink, when Schweik was putting him to bed with great difficulty late at night, the priest wept and sobbed: "My boy, I betrayed you, I betrayed you with shame and shame. Scold me hard, beat me a few times! I should bear it. Do whatever you want. I dare not look at you. Beat me, bite me, smash me! That is what I deserve. do you know what i am "

The abbe buried his tear-stained face in the pillow, muttered in a soft voice: "I'm a real villain!" and fell asleep soundly. The next day, avoiding Schweik's eyes, the priest went out early in the morning and returned at night with a fat infantryman. "Shuaik," he said, still avoiding Schweik's eyes, "tell him where everything is, so that he can find the door. Teach him how to make liqueur.You report to Lieutenant Lukasch early tomorrow morning. " So Lieutenant Lukasch saw Schweik's frank, honest face for the first time the next morning.Schweik said: "Sir, I am the Schweik whose card the priest lost."

{{2}} Officers have used orderlies since ancient times.It seems that Alexander the Great used Mabian, and I am surprised no one has ever written a history of Mabian.Had it been written, it would have included a passage describing how, during the siege of Tulidu, Fernando, Duke of Almaville, ate his horse's stool without adding salt.The duke himself described this incident in his "Memoirs", and said that the meat of his horseben was very tender, although it was a little more stringy, and the taste was somewhere between chicken and donkey. Among the horses of this generation, very few are self-denying enough to allow their masters to eat themselves without adding salt.It even happened that officers had to use every means imaginable to maintain their authority in a desperate struggle with modern orderlies.In 1912 a captain was tried in Graz for which his horse was kicked to death, but he was later released because he only did it twice.

{{3}} Lieutenant Kindrich Lukasch is a typical officer in the regular army of the Kingdom of Austria in turmoil.The officer cadre school trained him to be an amphibian.In public, he speaks German and writes in German, but he reads books in Czech; but whenever he gives lectures to a group of officers who are purely Czech and volunteer He said to them in a personal tone: "I'm a Czech like you. It's all right for people to know, but why let people know!" He saw Czech citizenship as a kind of secret society, and he kept as far away from it as possible.Other than that, he's not bad.

He is not afraid of his superiors, and always takes care of his team during the drill. Although he could yell if he wanted to, he never bluffed loudly.But although he was fair to his men, he hated his orderlies, because unfortunately he always had the worst orderlies, and he refused to treat them like ordinary soldiers.He had slapped them on the mouth, or hit them on the head, in short, he had tried to correct them by persuasion and action.He did so in vain for several years.The orderlies came and went without stopping, and finally, each time a new one arrived, he sighed to himself and said, "I've sent me another low-grade beast."

He likes animals very much.He kept a Haltz canary, a Persian cat and a horse dog.All his orderlies had treated his beloved animals badly in the past, just as Lieutenant Lukasch had treated them when the orderlies did something sneaky. After Schweik reported to Lieutenant Lukasch, the lieutenant led him into his room and said: "Mr. Katz recommended you to me, and I want you to act in accordance with his recommendation. I have a dozen or a dozen None of the above-mentioned messengers stayed. Let me make it clear to you first: I am very strict, and I will not show mercy to despicable behavior and lies. You must always tell the truth to me, and do your duty Carry out my orders without reply. What are you looking at?" Schweik was looking intently at the wall where the canary cages hung.On hearing this, he fixed his cheerful eyes on the lieutenant, and said in his characteristic gentle voice, "Report sir, that's a Haltz canary." After Schweik interrupted the lieutenant's lecture in this way, he still looked at the lieutenant intently without blinking, and stood upright. The lieutenant was about to reprimand him, but seeing the innocent expression on his face, he just said: "The priest recommended that you are the number one idiot in the world, and now I think he said the same thing. .” "Reporting sir, to tell the truth, the priest's words are true. When I was a regular soldier, I was discharged because of chronic insufficiency. There were two people who were discharged for the same reason. One was me. , and there's Captain Kunitz. He's a rum-drinking old fool. Forgive me, sir, it's true." Lieutenant Lukasch shrugged like a man who can't think of the right words to express his thoughts.He paced back and forth from the door to the window, walked around Schweik, and back again.When Lieutenant Lukasch was pacing like this, Schweik followed him back and forth with his eyes, with an obvious innocence on his face.Lieutenant Lukasch stared at the carpet and said: "Remember, I want everything to be clean and tidy. I don't allow lying. What I want is honesty. I hate people who lie, and I can't punish people who tell lies. Be merciful. Did you hear this clearly?" "Report sir, listen clearly. The worst thing a person can do is to lie. As long as he gets stuck in a muddled account, and the preface and the backlog are wrong, he is finished. I think it's best to say one thing and say another. Second, admit everything that should be admitted. Yes, honesty is a virtue, because it always pays to be honest over time.An honest man is respected everywhere.He is happy with himself.And he goes to bed every day feeling like a newborn baby.He can say, "Oh, I had another honest day today.'" While Schweik was babbling like this, Lieutenant Lukasch sat in a chair, looked at Schweik's boots, and thought to himself: "My God, I think I usually babble like this too, but maybe I speak differently." However, in order not to damage his dignity, he waited until Schweik had finished speaking before saying: "Now you are with me, your boots must be cleaned, your uniform must be neatly made, and all the buttons must be nailed. All in all, your appearance is very beautiful, you look like a soldier, I can't let you look like a country bumpkin." After resting for a while, he continued to explain to Schweik all the duties he should do, especially emphasizing the importance of honesty and reliability, and never talking about the lieutenant's affairs. "Sometimes I have ladies who come to see me," he added. "Sometimes when I'm not on duty in the morning, one or the other of them might spend the night here. When I ring the bell, you'll bring two coffees to the bedroom. Do you understand?" "Report sir, I understand. I might embarrass the lady if I burst into the bedroom. I remember bringing home a young woman once, and we were having an affair, my old servant Here comes the coffee. She was so taken aback that she poured it down my spine. Don't worry, I fully understand what it's like to have a lady in bed." "That's all right, Schweik. When it comes to the ladies, we have to be extra cautious." The lieutenant cheered up as he talked, because the topic was that he was outside the barracks, the playground and the gambling den. , the most concerned thing in spare time. Where he lives there is a pronounced female influence.Several of the elders left their little dresses and other ornaments as a souvenir of their visit.A lady embroidered him a beautiful table-cloth, and embroidered his initials on all his underwear.If her husband hadn't intervened, she might well have finished a set of decorations on the walls.Another woman scattered all kinds of antiques in his bedroom, and hung a statue of a guardian angel above his bed. Lieutenant Lukasch had a wide circle of friends.He had a photobook full of photographs of his girlfriends; he also had a collection of various memorabilia, such as a few garter belts, four pairs of embroidered shorts, three women's short-sleeved blouses of very fine material, some linen handkerchiefs, a lady's A corset and some pairs of stockings. "I'm on duty today," he said. "I came back very late. I tidied up the house and put everything in order. That horse-bean from before was nothing like that. I'm sending him to the front line today." As soon as Lieutenant Lukasch left, Schweik put everything in order.When he came back in the evening, Schweik said: "Report sir, everything is in order, but there is a little trouble: the cat has made a mess and swallowed your canary." "How can you swallow it?" the lieutenant growled loudly. "Report sir, that's how it happened. I know cats don't like canaries, and they'll spoil them whenever they can. So, I think it's best to call them familiar.要是那猫露出一点点不老实的模样，我就痛痛快快揍它一顿，叫它到死也不会忘记金丝雀出来的时候它应当规规矩矩的，因为我是顶爱动物不过的up.So, I let the canary out of the cage and let the cat sniff it.But before I could pay any attention to it, the nasty beast had bit off the canary's head.You just can't imagine how greedy it is.He swallowed it all, even with the feathers on his body, and then hid aside and kept singing, how happy he was.I gave the cat a hard time, which I did, but swear to God, I didn't even put a finger on him.I think I'd better wait until you get back before deciding what to do with that mangy brute. " While Schweik was talking like this, he looked at the lieutenant blankly.The lieutenant, who had intended to give him a good beating, walked away, sat down on a chair and asked: "Listen, Schweik, are you really a unparalleled idiot?" "Report sir," replied Schweik solemnly. "Exactly. I've been wretched from a very early age. Whenever I set my heart on trying to do something right, I always end up making a mess. I really want to teach those two brutes how to know Familiar with each other, we can understand each other a little bit, but the cat swallowed the canary in one bite and messed up everything. It's not my fault. There is no doubt that cats are powerful animals. If the officer tells me to deal with the cat, I will first have to……" So, with an innocent and kind smile all over his face, Schweik told the lieutenant how to deal with cats.If the Cruelty to Animals heard it, they'd be foaming at the mouth.Schweik acted so well that Lieutenant Lukasch forgot to be angry and asked: "Do you know how to handle animals? Do you really like them?" "Speaking of which, sir," Schweik said. "I like dogs the most, because if you can sell them, it's a very profitable business. But I can't do it well, because I'm too honest. Even so, people come to trouble me, complaining: I sell Give them a fake instead of a real purebred dog like all dogs can be purebred. And they always want the dog's pedigree so I have to print some and put A mongrel dog born on a brick kiln is written as a purebred dog. Sir, you will be surprised to hear how dog dealers lie to their customers on the pedigree. Naturally, the real can be called a purebred There are not many dogs, sometimes its mother or grandmother has been with one or even several mongrel dogs, and then the offspring will look like their mongrel ancestors. Maybe grow this ear, That one's tail, the other's whiskers, the jaws are the fourth dog's, the crooked feet are the fifth, and the waist size is the sixth. If a dog has a dozen of those marriages, sir, what does he look like? You can imagine it like this." The lieutenant began to have a strong interest in this dog science.So Schweik could talk freely. "Dogs don't dye their hair like adults do, so it's always done by the dog dealer. If a dog is gray and you want to sell it as a puppy , you just buy some silver nitrate, smash it up, and with it stain the dog so black it looks like he's just out of the nest. If you want to keep him alive, feed him some arsenic--like they feed like a horse; and then you sand his teeth with sandpaper like a rusty knife. Give him a little brandy before you sell him to a customer, so he'll be dazed, and then he'll jump up and bark You can be as happy as you want, and make out with everyone, like a drunk. But the most important thing is: you have to talk nonsense with the customer, and keep talking until he can't help it. If a man wants to buy a house dog, and all you have is a hound, you've got to have what they call a knack of gossiping, and make the man want to buy a house dog. , and end up buying that hound. Or, say, someone wants to buy a very aggressive pit dog to guard against thieves, and you have to coax him into not buying a pit dog, but a slender bulldog instead. The dog was in my pocket. When I was selling animals, one day a lady came and waited for her parrot to fly to the front garden. There were some children playing Indians in front of her house. They caught When I saw the parrot, I pulled out all the feathers on its tail and used it to dress up. After the parrot lost its tail, it was so ashamed that it fell ill. After a veterinarian gave some medicine, it died. Therefore , she wants to buy another parrot, a well-behaved one, not a bird from the countryside who can't do anything and just scolds the street. Then, I don't have a parrot in my hand, and I don't know where to find it. What should I do? But I've got a strong pit bull in my hand, and he's almost blind in both eyes.Sir, it's true, I talked to the lady from four o'clock in the afternoon until seven o'clock in the evening, and she stopped buying parrots and bought my blind pit dog.My kind of business is more troublesome than their kind of diplomacy.When she was leaving, I said to her: "This time the children will never want to lock its tail." Since then, I have never had a chance to talk to her, because the pit dog bit everyone. .She had to be moved from Prague for that. Believe it or not, sir, how hard it is to get a really first-rate animal!" "I love dogs," said the lieutenant. "Some of my brethren are now at the front with dogs. They write to me that life is very pleasant in the trenches with a faithful animal by your side. You seem to be quite good with dogs. If I had a dog, I'd like you to take good care of it. Which dog do you think would be best? I mean: as a companion. I've had a fox terrier once, but I don't know—" "Sir, fox terriers seem fine dogs to me. They're smart, really. I once knew one—" The lieutenant looked at his watch and interrupted Schweik's eloquence. "Oh, it's getting late, I've got to go to bed, I'm on duty again tomorrow, so you can go out all day looking for that foxhound." He went to bed, and Schweik lay on the sofa in the kitchen and read the newspapers the lieutenant had brought back from the barracks. "Unexpected," Schweik muttered to himself as he browsed through the main points of the day's news. "The king of Turkey gave the king of Germany a medal, but I don't even have a military medal!" Suddenly he remembered something, and ran into the lieutenant's bedroom in one breath.Lieutenant Lukasch was soundly asleep when Schweik woke him up. "Report sir, you haven't instructed me how to deal with that cat yet." The lieutenant turned over half asleep and muttered in a daze, "Shut it up for three days." Then he fell asleep again. Schweik slipped out of the room on tiptoe, dragged the unfortunate cat out from under the sofa, and said to it: "You will be confined for three days. Disband!" The Persian cat crawled back under the sofa again. In a corner near the steps leading to the castle in Prague, there is a small brasserie.On this day, two people sat in the back seat of the hotel under the dim light.One is a soldier and the other is a commoner.They sat close together, whispering mysteriously.They looked just like the conspirators of the Republic of Venice. "Eight o'clock every day," whispered the common man. "The maid led him along Havelisk Square into the park. He's a savage! As for biting, he can't come close!" He moved closer to the soldier, and said into his ear, "It won't even eat sausages." "Don't you eat it after it's fried?" the soldier asked. "I won't eat it, and I won't eat it even if it's fried." They both spat at the same time. "Then what does the beast eat?" "I'd be surprised if I knew! There's something about this dog that's pampered and flattered like an archbishop." "Is it really a foxhound? The lieutenant doesn't want any other breed." "Yes, a fox terrier, and a fine one at that. Salt and pepper, pure and pure breed, as reliable as your name is Schweik and mine is Blainek. I All I want to know is what it eats, and I'll bring it to you." So the two friends clinked glasses again.When Schweik was selling dogs before he joined the army, Bragnak supplied his dogs. Now that Schweik is in the army, Blainek considers it his duty to serve him, regardless of remuneration.He knows all the dogs in the city and suburbs of Prague, and he has a principle: don't steal the non-purebred ones. At eight o'clock the next morning the good soldier Schweik was strolling along the Havelisk Square and the park.He was expecting a maid with a Pomeranian puppy.In the end, he waited in vain: a bearded dog jumped around her, the animal's fur was straight and stiff, and its eyes seemed to be full of understanding. The maid is quite old, her hair is elegantly tied into a steamed bun.She whistled at the dog, swinging the leash and a beautiful hunting whip. Schweik said to her: "Excuse me, miss, how do I get to Giskov?" She stopped and looked to see if he was really asking for directions.The cheerful look on Schweik's face convinced her that the venerable soldier really wanted to go to Giskov.She looked pitiful, and expressed her pleasure in explaining the way to Giskov. "I was just transferred to Prague," Schweik said. "It's from the country. You're not from Prague, are you?" "I am a Wodnanni." "Speaking of which, we are more or less from the same country," replied Schweik. "I am a Plotihan." This was Schweik's familiar knowledge about the topography of that area, which he had acquired when he was practicing and marching in southern Bohemia, which made the maid feel like a fellow countryman towards him. "Then, of course you recognize Peichar, the butcher in the Protivon market square!" "That goes without saying! He's my brother. Who in the neighborhood doesn't like him!" said Schweik. "He is not bad, and he is willing to help others. The meat he sells is fresh and the portion is reliable." "Then you are from Rao Lishi's family?" the maid asked, she began to like this unknown soldier. "Of course." "Which one of Rao Lishi's family is your father: the one who lives in Kerchi, or the one in Lajis?" "The one from Rajs." "Is he still selling beer around?" "Yes!" "But he must be in his sixties this year, right?" "By spring he will have paid sixty-eight," Schweik replied calmly. "Now he has a dog pulling the cart for him. It's like the dog that was chasing the sparrow. It's a handsome dog, a beautiful little animal." "That's our dog," his new girlfriend explained to him. "I help at the Colonel's house." "Ah, so that's your dog, isn't it?" Schweik interrupted her. "The lieutenant I serve hates dogs, which is a pity, because I love dogs." He was silent for a while, but suddenly said: "Naturally, not every dog ​​eats everything." "We Fox are very picky. There was a time when he wouldn't eat any meat, and now he does." "What is it's favorite food?" "Liver, it's boiled." "Calf liver, or pork liver?" "Then it doesn't care," Schweik's countrywoman said with a slight smile. They strolled together for a while, and then the Pomeranian followed.It seemed that it liked Schweik very much, it kept pulling on his trousers through the nose cover, and kept jumping on him.But suddenly it seemed to guess the purpose of Schweik's visit, it stopped jumping, and slowed down its steps with a bitter and worried expression, and squinted at Schweik, as if to say: "So you are pregnant with me." It's the ghost, isn't it?" At this time, the maid was telling Schweik that she brought the dog here every evening at six o'clock, that she could not trust any man in Prague, and that she once applied for a marriage in a newspaper, and a locksmith applied for it. , intending to marry her; but the man did everything possible to cheat her of eight hundred crowns, and then disappeared without a trace.After all, the country people are honest and reliable.She was sure of that.If she married, she must marry a countryman.But that had to wait until the war was over.She thought that marriage should not be done in the midst of a war, because then a woman would inevitably be a widow. Schweik assured her that he would probably be there by six o'clock, and took his leave.He told Bragnak that the dog would eat any kind of liver. "Then I'll feed him bull liver," Bragnak decided. "I caught a St. Bernard in bull liver. That guy has a very tender face.Don't worry, I will definitely bring that dog to you tomorrow. " Blainek kept his word.In the afternoon, Schweik had just finished tidying up the house when he heard a dog barking at the door.The door opened and Blainek entered, trailing a recalcitrant Pomeranian whose fur stood straighter than usual.It bared its teeth and howled, as if expressing that it wanted to tear and devour something. They leash the dog to the kitchen table, and Blainek tells the story of how he captured the animal. "I deliberately carried a piece of boiled liver wrapped in paper and dangled next to it. So it sniffed me and jumped on me. When I got to the other end of the park, I turned into Buri. Duwoska Street. That's when I fed him the first piece of liver. Gobbled it up and followed me straight ahead, lest I should disappear. I went into Jindriska Street, where I fed him again I took a piece of it. After it had eaten that piece, I took it on a leather cable and led it across Vaslavo Square to Wennohalla and then to Volsovice. It made me dizzy. When crossing the tramway, it suddenly fell down and refused to take a step. Maybe it wanted to be crushed by the tram. I brought a blank pedigree certificate, which I bought at a paper shop. Schweik, you have to fill it in." "It must be in your handwriting. Just write: it is from the dog farm of von Burrough in Leipzig. Father is Arnim von Kallersberg and mother is Emma von Trautensdorff On the paternal side, it is related to Siegfried von Busentau, its father won the first prize at the Berlin Pomeranian Exhibition in 1912. The mother has won the Nuremberg Purebred The gold medal of the dog club. How old do you think it should be written?" "Looking at its teeth, I think it's about two years old." "Then write for eighteen months." "Shuaik, it's not well-shaven. Look at its ears." "That's easy. We can cut him when he gets used to us. Do it right away and he'll make a fuss." The stolen dog snarled, panted, and writhed ferociously, and then, exhausted, he collapsed, tongue hanging out, at the mercy of fate.It grew quiet slowly, only howling pitifully now and then. Schweik gave it the rest of the liver that Bragnak gave him, but it didn't touch it, just cast a contemptuous glance at them, and then looked at the two of them, as if to say: "Hmph, I You've eaten it all, go ahead and eat." It lay there with an air of resignation, feigning a doze.Suddenly, as if remembering something, it stood up on its hind legs and worshiped with its front paws.It gave in. Schweik was not at all moved by this touching scene. "Fall!" he yelled at the poor animal.The dog fell down again, howling bitterly. "How do you fill in the name on the blood certificate?" Blainek asked. "It used to be called Fox, or something like that." "Then let's call him Max. Look at his ears up, Max, stand up!" The unfortunate Pomeranian, stripped of his family and his name, started running around the kitchen.Then, abruptly, he changed his mind again, sat down at the table, and ate the liver that was left on the floor.Then he fell on the side of the fireplace, and fell into a dormant sleep, ending his adventure for a while. "How much did you spend?" Schweik asked Blainek before he left. "Shuaike, don't worry about this," Bragnak said gently and considerately. "I'd do anything for an old friend, especially if you're in the army again. Well, buddy, goodbye. Remember, never take it to Havelisk Square, or you'll be in trouble for yourself. If you still For a dog, you know where I hang out all the time." Schweik let Max have a good sleep.He went to the butcher's and bought a half pound of liver, cooked it, and gave it a hot sniff when Max woke up.After sleeping, Max licked himself, stretched himself, sniffed the piece of liver, and swallowed it in one gulp. "Max, come here!" Schweik yelled. The dog approached timidly, but Schweik took him on his lap and patted him.For the first time since Max came, he waved his stumped tail in a friendly way, playfully scratched Schweik's hand with his paw, held it tightly, and stared at Shuik cleverly. K, as if to say: "It's the way it is anyway, and I know it's me." Max jumped off Schweik's lap and jumped around him happily.By the time Lieutenant Twilight came back from the barracks, Schweik and Max had become irresistible. Lieutenant Lukasch was pleasantly surprised to see Max, and Max was also very happy to see a man with a waist knife again. When asked where the dog was obtained and how much it cost, Schweik replied very calmly: it was given by a friend who had just enlisted in the army. "That's great, Schweik," said the lieutenant, teasing Max. "On the first of next month, I'll give you fifty crowns to get this dog." "Sir, then I can't take it." "Shuaik," said the lieutenant sternly. "I told you very clearly when you came to serve me, that you must do what I tell you. I told you to give you fifty crowns, and you had to take it and spend it well. Schweik, with five How do you plan to spend the ten crowns?" "Report sir, I will squander it as you ordered." "And Schweik, if I forget to give you the fifty crowns, you have to remind me. Do you understand? Is this dog really free of fleas? You'd better give him a bath and brush his hair." Comb it. Tomorrow I will be on duty, and the day after tomorrow I will take it out for a walk." While Schweik was bathing Max, the colonel, the original owner of the dog, was throwing a fit, saying that if the man who stole the dog was caught, he would be court-martialed, shot and hanged, Sentence him to twenty years in prison and chop him into pieces with random knives. "I'll kill that rascal if I catch him!" roared the colonel so that the windows shook. "I know how to deal with a rogue like him." A catastrophe hangs over Schweik and Lieutenant Lukasch. --------------- ⑴Fernandu was the king of Gastil, Spain in the eleventh century. At that time, the city of Turidu was occupied by the Hui army, and Fernandu led his troops to besiege it for a long time. (2) Around 1000 AD, Venice got rid of the rule of the Byzantine Empire and established a republic, which lasted until 1797, when it was finally overthrown by conspirators.