Chapter 6 chapter Five

it's carnival The whole city set off a climax of love Seems like there's some kind of big conspiracy going on make everyone's heart boil S€dor M€ai, from Embers (2003) The streets of Breda are filled with drunken Frenchmen, singing priests, sexy whores, womanizers, and others you won't find in Amsterdam.Mulder and I were here three days ago.Carmen, Frank and Ramon did not come with us.Carmen doesn't like carnival, Frank feels he's a gentleman and the occasion doesn't suit him, and Ramon is from Chile.I don't care if Thomas comes this year. Mulder and I were looking forward to Mardi Gras.On the way south, we kept singing.I also ordered a super gorgeous tiger suit, I wore a black ruched shirt and I sprayed my hair silver.Mulder was wearing a nurse's uniform and a short skirt like I'd never seen a nurse in San Lucas wear.

We left our things at the Van Ham Hotel and set off for Bommel. Bommel is the best tavern in the Netherlands.In Breda, going out is called going to Bommel, a small glass of wine is called Bommel, and the bartender in Bommel is more respected than the waiter in the NAC Center.And, they know it too. "For God's sake, let's be quiet for a while." That was on a note the waiter gave me when it was packed that evening and I dared to bother the waiter over something as trivial as the wine , so he gave me this note.Every self-respecting Breda native (and anyone who ever lived in Breda) comes here during Carnival time.These days the people here are prettier and wealthier than in any club in Amsterdam, and in Brabant: the people here are more authentic.

Rose is at it again.She was still wearing the grey-blue military cap from last year.I was so excited to see her in this hat, I used it as an excuse to strike up a conversation with her last year. Rose also lives in Amsterdam, she told me.Sadly, I never saw her there.I only see her at carnivals.Every year I fall in love with her, three days.Every year she turns me down with a smile.I can't figure out why. My outfits are so cool this year, I can't believe I'll miss them.It is my motto to impress them. "Hi, Rose." - the blond hair - "Well—"—those blue eyes—"ah—it's Danny, huh?"—those long eyelashes—

"Yes." - those sexy lips - "Danny in Amsterdam—" I saw her looking at my outfit, and everything was going according to plan. "— Married. "She took my hand and pointed to my wedding ring." Correct.is married. " Oh yes.That's right.She has principles.I hate principles. "So?" she asked me teasingly. "Are you going to try again tonight and want to strike up a conversation with me?" - Change of plans. "No, because you don't like wedding rings. I have an idea - how about buying you a drink when I'm in Amsterdam? I'm such a good company." I made a point of putting my arms behind my back. "And 100 percent sure, purely platonic."

she laughed. --bingo! I took out a business card from the tiger suit, wrote on it that the bearer of this card was authorized to drink a platonic drink, and handed it to her. Satisfied with my coolness, I walked back to Mulder.She was kissing a tall man.When they stopped, I saw his face. Thomas. we are so hungry I'm Anton from Delos DJ tzi, from Anton aus Tirol (Das Album, 1999) Carnival binge is so addictive that I always start dreading its lows early on, as I feel right now.I was lying alone in the hotel room, Mulder's bed was empty.I could hardly resist texting Annie and asking if she wanted to speak to her husband, and she'd better call Mulder's cell phone.Best regards Danny.

I got up and looked out the window.The streets are littered with remnants of yesterday's crowds.A drunk cop lay by the door, and I saw a tall guy walk by arm in arm with his new hooker. I probably promised Carmen that I would be home today.The Tuesday carnival in Breda is almost dusk.It's still officially Mardi Gras, but the town is showing signs of ending.The only people who still go today are those who haven't had enough fun, and those who don't want to go home.Usually I fall into the former category, but this year I have both.I don't want to go back to everyday life.I do not want to go home.I'm calling Carmen.

"Hi honey!" "Hi!" "How are you?" "It's fine." Her tone didn't sound displeased. "How about that little guy?" "She's fine, she's been sleeping well these days. How's Breda?" "Excellent. Just as good this year." "Great. Glad you had a great time! When are you going to be home?" "Well - I want to stay another day. I don't have to go back to work at MIU until Wednesday. Is that okay?" silence. "Carmen?" Didi-- I sigh deeply.Don't think about it.Still stayed an extra day as planned.It's just going to be sad to go home tomorrow.

i'm so excited I'm going out of control i think i like this The Pointer Sisters, from So Excited (So Excited, 1982) I saw her this morning when Mulder came to pick up his things. "So—" I teased her, "how's Thomas?" She shrugged. "He begged me not to tell you that we left together yesterday," she said.The guilt in her voice served me well.I told her that I really pissed Carmen off by deciding to stay an extra day. "What are we all doing here?" Mulder shook his head with a smile, and then went to get the train ticket back to Amsterdam.

An hour later, I was standing alone in Bommel.There were three guys besides me, and a tall guy, and it was late in the evening, and people came slowly, until the place was half full.Out of boredom, I whistled at a girl with a big witch-like nose who wasn't even disguised as a witch. It's Wednesday.I'm in a deserted breakfast room where cleaners and carpenters are cleaning up carnival remnants.Well, I'll have to go back to Amsterdam by myself, and this evening I'll be back under Carmen's watchful eyes.I texted her that I would be working a few more hours and I would be home around six.She didn't text back.

In Amsterdam, I go straight to the gym.They were all having lunch at MIU, and I pulled up a chair and told them some anecdotes about the carnival, things that everyone could hear.Afterwards, I go back to my computer and open my email.Holland casinos, telcos, resorts, lots of boring emails, and one from an address I don't recognize.I opened the email and smiled.It was Rose! Sender: Rose Sent: Wednesday, March 8 at 11:47 Recipient: Danny Subject: Did you sleep well? Hi Tiger, I found your business card— I'm drinking my fourth cup of coffee, smoking my eighth cigarette, and I'm sitting here shaking, surrounded by whining, overly serious people.I want to go back to the South!Well, how are you doing after that?Lots of girls to kiss, right?

Regards, Rose P.S. Want to drink Plato?bring it on.How is Friday night? yes!Successfully hit the target!I am saved.I read the email three times, trying to figure out how to respond.Can't be too urgent just yet.Can't make her feel that I have any intentions, but make her feel that she is special.It took me forty-five minutes to post back, finally coming up with the wording somewhere between enthusiasm and platonic communicative activity and impeccable excitement.I read it again, misspelled a word on purpose to make the email look improvised, and hit send. From: Danny Sent time: Wednesday, March 8, 2000 15:26 Recipient: Rose Subject: Re: Did you sleep well? Friday is OK! See you then, Dan. Then I went home with a heavy heart. Luna welcomed me warmly.Carmen is very cold talk.Best not to mention my plans to go out again on Friday. i drive my car hold you in my arms you just say no you say you don't like this but girl i know you're lying 'Cause it's hot when we kiss Bruce Springsteen, from Fire (1978, on Live 1975-1985, 1986) "I won't see you until after dinner tonight. My cousin from Breda called this afternoon to say he's coming to Amsterdam this afternoon, so I'll go have a beer with him first." I said to Frank as casually as possible during lunch. "Then I'll text you to see where you're going. When's your date with Hakan and Ramon?" "Seven o'clock at the Inez Club," Frank said. Inez Club.The food is very trendy, and every dish on the menu has at least one ingredient I've never heard of.Luckily Frank is usually there. I emailed Rose asking if she would like to come and see our office at MIU before going to Wacker Zuid.I called again and asked her if she wanted to come earlier so she wouldn't be standing outside the door at 6:30. I don't know how to explain my relationship with her to other people. all the best.It was a quarter to seven, and everyone had gone home.Frank said he was leaving too.Then Rose called to say she was half an hour late.Everything was fine, but unfortunately I was in the bathroom when the phone rang and Frank answered. Frank shook his head and smiled as he pulled on his coat. "Have fun with your cousin—" he said as he walked out the door. I blushed.I cranked up Daft Punk and pulled a Budweiser from the fridge.Once again, I'm curious to see what she looks like without her Mardi Gras costume.I can't imagine her disappointing. The doorbell rang, and as I walked towards the glass door of the office, there was this beautiful blonde woman standing there.Goddess of Breda.She was wearing a long black top and a black hat over her long blond hair.she laughed.I also smiled and opened the door. "Hello, ma'am." "Good morning sir." I kissed her on the cheek as platonic as I could, three times.I gave her beer, showed her around the office, and introduced MIU casually.She listened with gusto.It's going great. Wacker Zuid has a lot of people.I decided to meet Frank and them at nine o'clock, otherwise I would definitely kidnap Rose to bed.I'm sure any normal man would think that, but not me. Wacker Zuid.right.Because it is located on the opposite side of the Olympic Stadium MIU, the convenience must make us its regular customers.It's kind of a "thank goodness it's Friday" kind of place.Every Friday at 5:00 it's full of men in striped, white-collared, white-sleeved shirts and women in two-piece tops.I thought it was scary the first time I went until I figured it out after five glasses of Bacardi premixes, women in two-piece tops and moss from nail salons in the Bastille bar The blond beauty with Chino's belt is just as coquettish.I've really loved it there ever since. "You're just a puppy," she laughed. "puppy?" "Playing all the time, jumping when I see people, licking all over—" "I have a feeling you like puppies." I said looking her in the eyes.She began to blush.She is mine and can't run away. "Uh-yes. But married puppies are too fake for me." I figured I'd better go find those companions.What's the use of staying here?I just told her I was going home in half an hour.Yes, I'm going to do that. "Ah, Rose—" "Huh?"—that hair, those eyes.Those wonderful teeth. "Shall we go get something to eat?" We went to Danip's restaurant on Van Baerle Strasse.The guests there usually go to the concert after dinner.I can't think of anyone I know here.We both ordered steak and chips.She told me about her last relationship, with a boy from Friesland.She said she wanted to let things take their course. "And you, tell me about your wife." You have to ask yourself. "Are you ready for an unpleasant story?" "But not the 'my wife doesn't understand me' kind of thing, huh?" "No!" I said, a little annoyed.I started talking.About cancer, about chemotherapy, about fear, about mastectomy, and about our relationship. She put her hand over mine as she listened. As I walked out of the restaurant after dinner, I saw a text message from Ramon. Are you promiscuous, you pervert? We're going to NL.How about you? I texted back that I wasn't going.Although I know that the chances of having sex with Rose tonight are zero. "Do you want to go dancing?" She said she liked dancing very much.Since Miami, I like to dance too, but I don't know which house sounds better, I've never been to Moore, but I'm afraid to go, because Frank will be there after two o'clock.I said I wanted to go to Paradiso. Some people still don't believe that humans ever set foot on the moon.I do the same with Paradiso.I always refuse to believe that the Stones, Prince and my own Springsteen are sometimes there, just to have fun after a gig at the Quipp Arena in Rotterdam, and I think everyone who says they've seen it The people at the concert were paid by Paradiso to spread rumors everywhere.Don't mess with me.God help us, if I manage to get a ticket for Riverbank I'm going to get carried away. Upstairs in Paradiso, we sat on the little chair and continued talking, and she put her hand on my lap, so naturally, it was like we had known each other for years.I put my hand over hers, trying not to make it look like something was up for grabs. "Want to dance?" I asked. We go to the dance floor.We talk more while dancing.Soon we were standing on the edge of the dance floor talking.The world is far and wide.But our eyes are no longer on the chat, and our eyes are full of longing.We can't stop it, it's overwhelming.Halfway through the conversation, I pushed her against the wall and kissed her.Limp and limp, she complied. We kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed for several minutes.Then I looked at her and shrugged like I didn't know how this happened either.She shook her head, she didn't know either.Then we started kissing again.It wasn't long before we left. She lives in the west of Amsterdam.I parked in the free parking lot, unzipped her, and slid my hand down her pants.Suddenly she pushed my hand away.Her eyes were full of lust. "We can't do that," she said. I put her hands on my pants.Letting her feel my impending desire, she smiled and pulled her hand away.I sigh deeply.We don't even have time anymore, it's ten past four.I never got home past a quarter past four, and Carmen knew that all the clubs I went to closed at four. I kissed Rose again, she got out of the car, I looked at her, blew her a kiss through the window, and drove home. I am completely lost. red alert red alert it's a disaster but don't worry don't be nervous Basement Jaxx, from Red Alert (Remedy, 1999) I am sitting in the car.She said she was home.We've been exchanging emails a lot this week.On Monday she wrote that she had a good time but should have been home earlier.She doesn't regret what happened, but repeats that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with a married man.She doesn't know if seeing me again is a good idea, she wrote.I don't believe it at all, but I don't want to explain more in the email.I called her and after the call I realized I was doing the right thing and she was glad I called her.It was Thursday night.We talked all the time, nothing specific.I told her about work, about Luna, and she told me about her colleagues.Just then, I got out of the car with flowers in my hand, which I had just bought at the night shop in the Sports Plaza. "Well, what number Osterholm Street do you say you live at?" "Well—number seventy-nine. What?" I ring the doorbell. "Wait a minute. There's a knock at the door." "I'm waiting for you." From the intercom on the first floor she asked, "How are you?" I said, "Hello," on the cell phone, and also on the intercom. There was a moment of silence. "Hi?!?" "Open the door." "Is—is that you?" "No, it's Harry Potter." "God--" She pressed the button to open the door, and I opened the front door and walked in. "You're crazy—" she said when she saw me come upstairs with a big smile on my face.Her eyes told me I was doing fine. I put the flowers on the table and kissed her.She was wearing a dressing gown and her hair was wet.I kissed her and pushed her back until we collapsed on the couch.Her dressing gown opened a little.Seeing me watching, she smiled and pulled her dressing gown tight, curling herself up against me.I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.I haven't sat with Carmen like this in a long time.I like this. We kissed again, softer now.My hand wanders through her dressing gown.She didn't say no.I kneaded her breasts, they were so soft, I fell in love with them instantly.I kiss her neck and bite her throat lightly. Suddenly she sat up. "Well—would you like some coffee?" she asked. "If there is no better choice, then fine." I laughed. I looked at her CD case and saw Madonna's "The Light of Heaven".She poured two mochas and came and sat down beside me, her dressing gown buttoned up this time.I pulled her closer to me.The same scene was repeated again and again.Madonna was singing, "So wanted, ran back to see again - your face - my replacement." I stroked her lightly.She was lying on the couch with her head resting on my chest.I unbuttoned her dressing gown and she closed her eyes and whispered, "Don't—" After two Madonna songs, we kissed again.My hand slowly slid down to her breast again. "I feel like I'm home—" Then my hand slid down.She sighed and put her head back down again.This time she didn't stop me when my hand slid down her belly. "Put your hands on me - I close my eyes - I need to make a connection - touch me I'm trying - see your soul - I close my eyes - I feel like I've seen you before —” I knelt between her legs.She shook her head and said no. "I can't leave you. You tell me to go, or I won't stop." I sigh, after a night at the club, as horny as Patrick Kluivert. She looked at me for a moment, then she grabbed me by the collar and pulled me towards her.Her dressing gown had slipped from her shoulders, and she was now completely naked.She unbuttons my shirt and I nervously pull down my pants and spread her legs apart.I am very nervous.For a short while, I waited, giving her one last chance to shake her head. —checking the signs like they did—she didn't shake her head.She gave me a puzzled look and nodded almost imperceptibly. —I think I will obey my heart—I enter her slowly.It was like heaven inside Rose. I experienced it again later in her bed, and relived it three times the following Saturday afternoon, the afternoon I said I was going to town.It's getting out of hand. God, how did I even start? She said her love for me will never end If she knew about you and me, she wouldn't be like this it's such a pleasure to be with you when the desire grows stronger I need your caress more can't wait to run to you Brian Adams, from Run to You (Reckless, 1984) Cheating doesn't mean anything.It's like masturbating, only with an extra woman. Extramarital affairs are completely different.Bedtime turns into sex.It's no longer a female body that you like to penetrate, it's not even about women anymore.Rather something I've always wanted to avoid.My urges to physically cheat are bad enough that other women can get me anywhere but my heart.My body and mind may be autistic, but my heart is single-minded, and it belongs to Carmen alone.Rose knew that if Carmen hadn't been ill, we would never have had an affair.But Carmen did suffer from an illness. In the spring of 2000, my real name was Rose, my nickname was Goddess, and the name on my phone was Boris. She was the first extramarital affair in my life. We complement each other perfectly.From Rosena, I got what was missing at home, so—though only temporarily—I regained the joy of life.She pampered me with feminine tenderness, just the kind of woman I needed during my cancer.Rose is my substitute love. On my part, I tried to be as nice as possible to her.She gets the best Dan, and with me she feels more womanly than ever. "You can call me a goddess, that's how I feel when I'm with you," she said cheerfully when I appeared in front of her with a rose in one hand and a gift from a lingerie store.She loves her role and plays it to the max.She lets me decide what, where, when and how we do things together.When we go out she asks me what she should wear.She asked me what color underwear I should buy. An affair is like a drug, it is addictive.Within weeks, I was addicted to Rose, to how she made me feel.I try to stay with her as much as possible.I use all the cliche excuses.Every now and then I'll "get to the office early" and "listen to a CD in town".Friday night parties are my best excuse, and if there is a football game that night, I watch the TV coverage first and learn all the details by heart before I go home.We arranged to meet after dinner with the client.We often, sometimes twice a week, spend the whole night together. At those times, we would go to the bar or restaurant where we were least likely to run into acquaintances, and talk all night.It's mostly about sex, about the sex we've had, the sex we'll have and the sex we want to have.If we're not talking about sex, we're having sex.We made love to the point of exhaustion, at her house, in my car, in my office, in Wödel Park, in the Amsterdam Forest, everywhere. During the day we do nothing but email each other.Send dozens of emails every day.We wrote about how I was at home, about the next time we saw each other, about her job, about my job, about her late train.Those who are usually in a relationship talk about it at mealtimes.I was so busy checking my inbox for new emails from her that my productivity at MIU was almost zero. On weekends when I can't check my email, I text her.Ten to twenty times a day.When I go to the bathroom, when Carmen goes to the bathroom, when I excuse myself to get something from the car, when I give Luna a bath, when I brush my teeth.I text her whenever I am alone. Good morning, goddess, are you dreaming of me again?I'll call you when I get back from nursery. I can't forget what you did last night, it was amazing. Have a great weekend, goddess. I'm afraid I can't call right now.Carmen is at home. Tomorrow I will be yours again.We'll text you again. X. At this time, she can only wait.Wait for me to call, wait for me to say if we can meet, wait for me to say if we have to cancel at the last minute, wait for me to text. We made a strict agreement: Rose would never call me, and she would text me back only if I explicitly put an X at the end of the text, and never more than five minutes after I sent it. I was terrified that things would be revealed.On my mobile phone, the name of Rose's number for a month is "Boris", and Boris is a boy who is an intern at our place.The next month Rose's number changed to "Aki? KPN", which was the name of one of my clients.After every call, I delete the dialed call record, and every time I receive her text message, I delete it immediately.I delete her email several times a day.I never email her back from my home computer. She's there when I ask for it.No matter when, no matter where I am.If I was on my way back from seeing a client in Andorphin, she would get on the train to Utrecht just to sit with me in a roadside coffee shop for forty-five minutes before driving back to Amsterdam with me . She canceled an appointment with a female friend because she didn't know how late I would be with a client for dinner and whether we would be able to see each other.It might be ten thirty at night, or twelve thirty at night. My dates with Rose always end up the same way.I take a shower and make love to her, then leave Rose's warm bed and go back to the cold night, alone.In the car, I was still reeling from the excitement, the desire, the sex with Rose, and I didn't want to go home.It was the worst time of the week.I was looking for a place to park on the Amstelveen Straße, my heart pounding.Sometimes before I get out of the car, I'll wait a few minutes, double-check my story for holes, repeat it to myself, and fear there will be holes in tonight's excuse. I undressed downstairs, making as little noise as possible, climbed upstairs, brushed my teeth very carefully, crawled into bed quietly, lay with my back against Carmen, eyes open, and could not sleep for at least half an hour.Worried I still smell of Rose on me.Especially on normal working days, I am most afraid when I go home after 1:30, because Carmen knows that the bar closes at 1:00 in the evening. I finally breathed a sigh of relief in the morning, because I felt that the atmosphere in the house was very good, and it was obvious that my story had passed the test again.Next came my best form, I was nice to Carmen, playing with Luna, I was happy and energetic, no matter how much I drank last night, no matter what time I got home, I just pretended nothing happened. I have found joy and joy in life again. it's you and what you did for me fill my life with ecstasy Sister Sledge, from Thinking of You (We Are Family, 1979) I've been planning for weeks and I've got even the tiniest detail ready.Luna spent the weekend at my mother-in-law's house, and found out where Frank and Ramon were going on Saturday so Rose and I could avoid their places. Carmen spends her annual weekend outing in Monaco with colleagues from the advertising agency.The girls were overjoyed to hear that Carmen was going with them.Wherever there is Carmen, there will be fun.Everyone knows.After dropping her off at Schiphol, I went straight to Rose's house. After entering the door, she told me to lie down on the bed in the kitchen.That doesn't sound like much punishment, and I'm glad she ordered me this time, for a change.She came into the bedroom a few minutes later, wearing a blouse with nothing underneath, and holding a large tray that was too big to fit through the door.I see bagels, salmon, avocados, cream cheese, freshly squeezed juice, a bottle of champagne tied with a bow. "Because it's your birthday next week," she said, "I can't give you something you can take home, so I'll just—" She gave me a mischievous look, and unbuttoned her blouse. "What do you want first?" I feel very moved and sexually unbearable. "Eat," I said, and stuck my head between her legs for several minutes.We had so much fun all morning and afternoon, making love, eating, sleeping, talking, laughing, going to bed, sleeping and making love again, I feel like the happiest man in the world. While Rose and I were spending the evening downtown, I got a text from Carmen.She said they were very happy, and she bought Luna a small dress in Monte Carlo, and bought herself a pair of expensive boots and a Diesel coat.I laughed, told Rose — and she laughed too, touched — and texted Carmen back: I'm so proud of you and glad you're having fun! The love of my life! In a moment of excitement, I showed Rose the text I had written to Carmen.I made a mistake. "Well. You've got a good name for Carmen," she said bitterly. "At least now I know where I am." I wanted to explain to her from beginning to end that Carmen is the love of my life so far and you never know what's going to happen, but I know that saying anything now is going to add fuel to the fire.How could I spoil her bliss when she could have me completely this weekend? "Well, never mind," she said with mock cool as we sat in Weber's Café on Manix Street, "a text like that doesn't actually change anything. I know you well, I never could There is a relationship like Carmen and you." "But you know, you mean a lot to me—" "I do, but no one else does. Your friends don't even know I exist, they don't know that I'm a woman, they don't know that I'm a person. How do you think that makes people feel?" She questioned look at me. "I couldn't even tell my parents I was having an affair with a man whose married wife had cancer. Would they really want to hear it? My sister wouldn't listen when I mentioned it carefully, She interrupted me. One of my girlfriends heard about it and thought it was a scandal. She didn't understand how I could be like this, how someone would do something like this when his wife was sick." "Uh—" I had nothing to say, and took a sip of my wine. "Yeah, uh. That's easy to say. Now that you showed me your sweet text to Carmen, it really made me—" she said with a wink, "so you don't want to go home early tonight. You finally It's mine, just this once. " Lax or Webb.Casual cafe on Manix Street.I've never been able to tell which one I was in because the two are very similar.I've come to the conclusion again and again after the umpteenth time that I don't understand this casual stuff.If you want to lie on the couch, it's better to stay at home! Since I don't have to go home until four o'clock, we have plenty of time.We went to Lax, where Carmen and I used to go all the time.Fortunately, as I expected, we met no acquaintances there.That's why I avoid Bastille at night, I don't want to bump into Ramon there.I used to use him as an excuse, he knew that I cheated a lot, but he didn't know that I had been with the same girl for months.I think that's fine.Rose wanted to go to the dance, but couldn't go to Paradiso, where Mulder might go.Moore couldn't do it tonight either, because Frank was there a lot. I recommend going to Olin Hotel.That's where those at MIU don't go, as far as I know. Just a few years ago, Olin Hotel was a place that fashionable Amsterdammers would not bother to visit.Eighties music, backpackers, a bunch of totebag girls from Pumarend.I used to go there a lot, now it's trendier, they dress up family style, and the beer prices are doubled.Since the number of beautiful women going there has also increased with the transformation here, I decided to ignore the price increase as a factor. "Now that we can hang out all night, which of these places would you like to go?" I asked Rose smartly. "Oh? Well, good idea—" After an hour I realized that Rose was prettier than all the other women present, and it made me aroused again.I whispered in her ear how beautiful she was, how soft, how womanly, how lovely, and how wise I would be to come to her often.I looked at my watch, it was only three o'clock!When you have an affair, you learn to value your time, especially at night.Usually it's a time when you have to choose whether to keep drinking and dancing and talking or go to bed because you have to go home at a quarter past four at the latest, but tonight is totally ours.As the place started to close, we hurried to where we were waiting for a taxi.Although there is plenty of time, there is no time to waste. When we got to her house, we used all the methods and time to make love. It was daylight when I got home, I wasn't tired, I was completely content.Carmen's mother will bring Luna back in an hour.I am very reluctant, but I must do my duty as a father. I called Carmen when I got home and she was happy to take my call. “It’s great here,” she said excitedly on the phone, and she told me they had lunch in the garden of a castle overlooking the bay of Monte Carlo before heading to Canis in the afternoon.I told her I danced until four at the Olin Hotel, and I didn't mention drugs or Rose.Carmen hates drugs, and Carmen hates infidelity. I took Luna to pick her up at Schiphol that evening, she was exhausted.She puts on a brave face as she says goodbye to her co-workers, kisses everyone, and jokes about it just this weekend.The smile on her face didn't disappear for a while until she was out of sight. "Oh, Danny, I'm worn out - is the car parked far away? " I said I parked in the handicapped space at the entrance of the first parking lot.she kissed me. She went to bed at half past eight that night.It's good for me too, I can sleep soundly too.I slept until nine in the morning and Carmen slept until late in the afternoon. Her co-workers can enjoy weekends with Carmen who is at her best, Rose with me, and me with Rose. Yes, Carmen and I are still enjoying life. But, sadly, it wasn't me and Carmen anymore. Everyone dreams of real love that lasts But you and I both know what the world is like Bruce Springsteen, from If I Should Fall Behind (Lucky Town, 1992)