Chapter 7 The Story of the Quarrel Between Ivan Ivanovich and Ivan Nikiforovich - Chapter Six

From this chapter, readers can easily know everything contained in it. In spite of the court's efforts to conceal the truth, the next day all Mirgrad knew that Ivan Ivanovitch's pig had stolen Ivan Nikiforovitch's papers.The mayor was the first to slip up and leak the matter when he was in a daze.When someone went to tell Ivan Nikiforovich, he said nothing, but asked, "Is that the brown one?" But Agafya Fedoseyevna happened to be there Beside him, he talked to Ivan Nikiforovich Rosu again: "What's the matter with you, Ivan Nikiforovitch? If you give up like this, people will laugh at you and call you a fool! From now on you How can you be called an aristocrat! You are more despised than that old lady who sells your favorite deep-fried honey pastries." This noisy woman convinced him!I don't know where she found a middle-aged man with a dark complexion and a smudged face, wearing a dark blue dress with patches at times, such an out-and-out clerk in the yamen!He rubbed his boots with tar, and tucked three quills behind his ears, one of which he held with a piece of string instead of an inkpot.he ate nine pies at a time, and kept a tenth in his pocket; he filled a sheet of paper in petty letters with so many slanders, whichever The reader cannot read it in one breath without interrupting it with coughs or sneezes.This insignificant little man racked his brains, racked his brains, wrote, wrote, and finally compiled such a pleading: Tofu Gochkhon, son of nobleman Ivan Nikifor, hereby submits to the Mirgrad County Court .

Tofugochhong, the son of the remaining nobleman Ivan Nikifor, filed an indictment related to Petrebenko, son of the nobleman Ivan Ivan last time, but was not dealt with impartially by the Junyuan Court.And the shameless and scandalous deeds of the brown pig, although they have been covered up in every possible way, are kept secret, but the legend of the way has finally reached the public.Jun Yuan should be held responsible for this kind of laissez-faire and connivance with obvious malice. The pig is a stupid animal, and there is absolutely no reason for stealing documents.From this it can be seen that the pig was actually instigated by my enemy, Ivan Ivan's son Petrebenko who claimed to be a nobleman.However, the Junyuan was partial and partial, and even expressed his tacit consent, even if there was no such consent.Then the pig will definitely not be able to enter the hall and steal official documents. There are many servants in the Mirgrad County Court, and only one soldier is enough proof. Slightly injured, but the force of hitting the pig with a stick to drive it out is still more than enough.From this point of view, it is obvious that the Mirgrad County Court intends to show favoritism, and it is better for them to work together to carve up the benefits obtained from it.And the above-mentioned Ivan Ivan, a beast in clothes and hats, is even more stubborn than Pirelie Bianke.Therefore, Yu, Tofu Gochikhon, the son of Ivan Nikhil of the Huo family, hereby submits to the Jun Yuan according to the statutory procedures, if he does not recover the item from the brown pig or the nobleman Petrebenko who conspired with the pig The petition, and according to the petition, "handling it impartially" was wronged by Yu Zhaoxue, and Yu, the son of the noble Ivan Nikifor, Tofu Gochhong, should appeal to the High Court, apply for transfer of the case, and sue the Junyuan Court The crime of inquiring about personal favoritism.Tofugochhon, son of Ivan Nikifor, nobleman of Mirgrad County.

The submission had its effect: the judge was a timid man; all good men are usually that way.He went to ask the recorder.But the recorder let out a low "hum" from his lips, and showed on his face a kind of insensitive, devilish, ambiguous expression, which is only seen when the devil sees the victim throwing himself on the ground.It will only be there when you are at your feet.There was only one solution left: that is to try mediation for the two friends, but how can this be achieved when all attempts have failed?Nevertheless, it was decided to try again; but Ivan Ivanovich declared his reluctance outright, and was even very angry.Ivan Nikiforovitch simply did not answer, turned his back, and said nothing!And so the proceeding proceeded with the unusual speed with which the courts are usually renowned.People dated the paper, abstracted it, numbered it, stapled it up, signed it, all in the same day, and put the paper away in a cupboard, where it lay, lay, Lying for a year, two, three years; many girls married, Milgard opened new streets, and the judge lost a molar and two canines.There are more children running in Ivanovich's yard than ever before: where they come from, God only knows!For the purpose of admonishing Ivan Ivanovich, Ivan Nikiforovich built a new goose shed, which, although a little farther away than the previous one, completely copied Ivan Ivanovich's The house was in the way, so that the two respectable persons could almost never see each other; but the files still lay neatly in the cupboard, which had been stained the color of marble with ink ideas.

At this moment, a very important event happened for the whole of Milgrad. The mayor threw a banquet!How can I have vivid brush and paint to describe the variety of this meeting and the splendor of the banquet?Please take a watch, open the cover, and watch the movement inside.It's a mess, isn't it?Now imagine that there are at least almost as many wheels parked in the mayor's yard.What kind of half-carriages and carts are not there!One is wide in the back and narrow in the front; the other is narrow in the back and wide in the front.One was a half-cart and a cart; the other was neither a half-cart nor a cart; this one was like a pile of straw or a fat proprietress; the other was like a shaggy-haired Jew. Or a skeleton that has not completely shed its flesh and blood; this one looks exactly like a pipe with a mouthpiece when viewed from the side;In the midst of this mass of wheels and driver's box rose a saloon-like carriage with windows like interior windows, crossed with thick mullions.Put on.Coachmen in gray jackets, long jackets and thick woolen coats, sheepskin hats and various caps, with pipes in their hands, were leading the unbridled horses in the courtyard.What a feast the mayor threw!Permit me to count all the guests present at the banquet: Taras Tarasovich, Yevpur Akinfovich, Yefudish Yevishinavich, Ivan Ivanovich (not That Ivan Ivanovich, but another), Sava Gavrilovich, our Ivan Ivanovich, Yelevferi Yelevfilinavi Chi, Makar Nacharinavich, Foma Grigolinavich... I can't write any more!can't do it!My hands are sore: how many ladies are there!Dark and fair, tall and short, fat like Ivan Ivanovich and thin enough to hide them one by one in the mayor's scabbard.How many women's hats!How many clothes!Red, yellow, brown, green, blue, brand new, face-lifted, re-cut!And bandanas, ribbons, and tote bags!Farewell, poor powerless eyes!After this scene you will be of no more use.How long the tables are spread out!What kind of a commotion was created when everyone started to talk about each other one by one!The sound of a wind mill turning together with its grinding discs, driving wheels, gears, and mortars cannot be compared with this!I cannot tell you exactly what they were talking about, but you must think of it this way: they talked about interesting and useful subjects, such as the weather, dogs, wheat, millinery, stallions, and so on.Finally, Ivan Ivanovich, not the same Ivan Ivanovich, but the other squinting eye, said: "I find it very strange that my right eye (Squint-eyed Ivan Ivanovich always likes to amuse himself) Ivan Nikiforovich Tovgochkhon was not seen."

"He won't come!" said the mayor. "Why don't you come?" "By God, it has been two years since they, that is to say, Ivan Ivanovitch and Ivan Nikiforovitch, had quarreled, and if one knew where the other was, this one would say Nothing will ever go!" "What did you say!" said Ivan Ivanovich, who was squinting, raised his eyes and folded his hands. "If people with good eyes can't live in harmony, how can a person with squint eyes like me live a stable life." These few words made everyone laugh.Ivan Ivanovich with the squinting eyes was liked very much, because his jokes were perfectly in tune with the current fashion; a tall, thin man in a woolen frock coat with a plaster on his nose, who would have sat in a corner, and even the flies Flying on his nose, not moving a muscle in his face, even the gentleman stood up at this moment and went up to the crowd that surrounded squinting Ivan Ivanovich. "Listen to me," said the squint-eyed Ivan Ivanovich, when he saw a crowd of people surrounding him, "listen to me, don't keep staring at my squinted eyes." Look, if you have the time, it would be wise to mediate with our two good friends! Right now, Ivan Ivanovich is having a lively chat with some ladies, It would be well if someone would quietly fetch Ivan Nikiforovich and push them together."

It was unanimously agreed to Ivan Ivanovitch's proposal, and it was decided to send immediately to Ivan Nikiforovitch's house to invite him, and at any rate he was obliged to come to the mayor's luncheon.But there is an important question: who should be entrusted with such a major mission?This confuses everyone.There was a long debate about who was the most competent and tactful in diplomatic rhetoric; at last it was unanimously decided to entrust everything to Anton Prokofievitch Gogpucci.But first, we must introduce the reader to this remarkable man.Anton Prokofievitch was a genuinely virtuous man: if one of the leading figures in Mirgrad gave him a scarf or a sweater, he thanked him; if anyone insulted him , gouged Mao Lizi lightly on his nose, and he thanked him too.If you ask him: Anton Prokofievitch, why are your eyes the color of cinnamon and your sleeves light blue?Well, he usually always replied: "You don't even have such a thing! Wait a minute, wear it a little longer, and it will be exactly the same color!" Sure enough: talking about blue cloth, due to the action of the sun, it will be completely the same color! At first it was cinnamon, and now it matched perfectly the color of the frock coat; but what was even more strange was that Anton Prokofievitch had the habit of wearing woolens in summer and homespun in winter.Anton Prokofievitch had no home of his own; he had once had a house on the edge of the town, but he sold it and bought three sorrel horses and a car and a half with the money. Covered carriage, he sat in this carriage to visit the hosts of various lands.But the horses required mental care and money for oats to feed them, so Anton Prokofievitch exchanged them for a violin and a maid, and for a twenty-five ruble note change of head.Later Anton Prokofievitch sold the violin and exchanged the maid for a goatskin pipe inlaid with gold—so now he has such a beautiful pipe as no one else has.In order to enjoy this pleasure, he could no longer travel all over the country by car, but had to stay in the city, in various houses, especially those who took the pleasure of picking chestnuts on his nose. Spend the night at the nobleman's house.Anton Prokofievitch liked to eat well, was excellent at "fools" and "millers"; obedience to orders was his specialty, so he took his hat and stick, and was on his way at once.But as he walked he was thinking how he should induce Ivan Nikiforovitch to the party.The somewhat obstinate temper of this respectable man made his plan almost impossible.To tell the truth, it took a lot of effort to get out of bed, how could it make him make up his mind to go to the party?Even if he got up from the bed, how could he

① "Fool" and "Miller" are the names of two kinds of card games. The former loses the player who leaves a card at the end but cannot get rid of it. Why would he go to that kind of place, he undoubtedly already knew, where there was a sworn enemy of his rank?The more Anton Prokofievitch scrutinized, the more obstacles he discovered.The weather was sweltering; the sun was scorching; beads of sweat were pouring out of him, and in spite of a chestnut being gouged on his nose, Anton Prokofievitch was quite a shrewd man in many things. .He was just unlucky in business; he knew when he had to play dumb, and sometimes he took it easy even when confronted with situations and situations that would be difficult for a smart man to get out of, and his resourceful mind scrutinized and persuaded Ivan Nikiforovich had gone his way, and had been going forward bravely against all odds, when an unexpected accident overwhelmed him somewhat.Here, by the way, it is advisable to explain to the reader that, among other things, Anton Prokofievitch owned a pair of trousers which had such an odd quality that whenever they were put on, they always attracted attention. A pack of wild dogs bit his calf.It was unfortunate that he happened to be wearing these trousers that day.No sooner had he lost himself in thought, therefore, than he was alarmed by a terrible howling from all directions.Anton Prokofievitch uttered a shrill cry, louder than anyone else, so that not only the well-known woman and the resident in the big and stupid goggles ran to meet him, but even Ivan next door. The children in Ivanovich's yard also ran towards him.Although he was only bitten once by the dog, Shang had greatly weakened his courage, so he walked towards the steps with a certain cowardly air.