Chapter 11 hunt santa

The meaning of Christmas to everyone is very simple, that is, respectfully write a card to Boss Ha Bang. And before Christmas this year, Boss Habang has already received more than a thousand cards. Among them, the principal's one was publicly issued on the commander's platform during the flag-raising ceremony this morning. There are also the signatures and stamps of the teaching staff in each room. When the cards were issued, everyone clapped their hands until their hands were swollen. It's the eighth period now, and it's only half an hour before school ends. "Tomorrow is December 25th, and tonight is Christmas Eve. I don't know what to do for fun?" I yawned and secretly knotted Tata's long hair sitting in front.

"Yang Dingfeng must want to go to the dance in Zhangzhong, or he might as well ask Senior Silica to drive his father's car out and go to the East China Sea dance in Taichung!" After Wang Guo finished speaking, he glanced at the boss. The boss is lying on the big leather chair at the back of the classroom, correcting everyone's cards, and seems quite satisfied with everyone's eloquent blessings. In fact, it doesn't matter what we want to do, the most important thing is what the boss wants to do.Boss always has a plan. I glanced at Yang Dingfeng again. He was playing "Brave Boxing" with Lin Qianfu on the video game console at the back of the classroom. Also embarrassed to say something.

Suddenly there was a loud noise, and my eardrums almost burst. Boss Ha Bang stared out of the classroom, leaving a burning palm print on his desk, showing the fire in the boss's heart. "Why is it snowing in the card, why didn't I see anything!" Boss Ha Bang looked at the playground. Teacher Wu, who was dozing off on the stage, stared at Boss Ha Bang in a daze, scratching his head. The whole class fell silent, and a few girls were still secretly crying. "Someone must be responsible for this matter." Boss Ha Bang still looked out of the window, and only the electric sound of brave boxing could be heard in the classroom.

Who is responsible?Is it the guy who drew the latitudes in the first place?Is it the President of Taiwan?Is it the Director of the Meteorological Bureau? "It's not me." Teacher Wu raised his hand and said seriously. I also know not, you are far behind. "I can't spare you, fat man in red uniform." Boss Ha Bang's face was ashen, and several cracks appeared on the glass of the window. Turns out it was Santa who was supposed to be in charge. "That's right, he should take full responsibility, 100%." ​​Yang Dingfeng stood up, and it was his specialty to immediately follow the crowd.

"Damn Santa Claus, I also guessed that he did the trick." I said worriedly: "It's impossible to let him go on messing around like this." "I didn't expect him to be the black hand behind the scenes. It's really bad." Wang Guo held his chin seriously. The students in the class were talking all kinds of opinions, such as "Santa Claus is really terrible and insidious", "If I happen to have a gun in my hand, I will not shoot Santa Claus." Noisy. "I'm going to get him out." A rare vein popped out on Boss Ha Bang's forehead, and it seemed that this year's Christmas Eve program had already been decided.

Santa, get ready to die.After school, Boss Ha Bang walked angrily on the road in the urban area, with the sleeves of his uniform rolled up high, and we followed behind his old man's buttocks to play prestige. Passers-by would get out of the way when they saw us from a distance. nuke. In front of Sanshang Department Store, a work-student who unfortunately dressed up as Santa Claus stood at the door, handing out leaflets and small gifts with a smile on his face.Today is really not his day. Boss Ha Bang led us to stride forward, but the white-eyed Santa Claus still smiled brightly. "Merry Christmas, sir, this is our little gift, I wish you—" Santa Claus bent over, carrying a big fat gift bag, and handed the small gift box forward.

boom! The boss of Habang stepped on the downed Santa Claus and asked angrily, "Why doesn't it snow in Changhua!" The faces of the work-students with fake beards twisted together in pain, and vomit kept coming out of their mouths, like a very interesting fountain. The clever Yang Dingfeng quickly took out his camera to take pictures. "Hey, our boss is asking you something, do you want to tell the truth?" I knelt down and put the tape recorder near the mouth of the speechless Santa Claus. At this time, a few guards rushed over to see what was going on. Unfortunately, they also put on red Santa Claus suits according to the occasion. It was really moths to the flame.

"A bunch of bastards are here again!" I said angrily, watching the vicious silicone senior throw away the cigarette in his mouth, take out a bat from his school bag and knock down the guards, and then tie them up one by one with a skipping rope. by the road. Boss Habang looked at the five or six Santa Clauses, pointed to the dusk sky, and said, "Where's the snow? Why isn't there any snow?" Several Santa Clauses looked at each other, I really didn't know how to answer, I just thought that several Santa Clauses were tied to the side of the road like zongzi, and then accompanied by a silicone senior beating him with a bat and asking questions, it was really a hilarious scene, so Yang Dingfeng picked up the camera again and snapped a photo.

"Boss, I don't think they are real Santa Claus, and it's useless to ask them." Yang Dingfeng put down his camera, and finally said something human: "Because they don't have elk." Boss Ha Bang closed his eyes, a feeling of being cheated came to his heart. "Where's your elk?" Boss Habang took out a card from his schoolbag, pointed to the cute elk on it and said. "We—we never had—an elk—" one guard said, spitting out broken teeth. Ha Bang boss glared at them, obviously very dissatisfied. "It can be seen that these are counterfeit goods, or else, this group of new Santas is so poor that they can't even afford elk." I said, and opened one of the big bags containing gifts. Kleenex or a cheap pencil case, really shabby.

"It's also possible that they sold the elk. The kind Santa Claus sold everything he could at home in order to buy gifts for poor children. Even the elk that gets along day and night cannot escape the fate of being separated from its owner. In the flying night, Santa Claus led the frozen elk with tears and snot—" Wang Guo said sadly, falling into the mood of the sad story he made up, and finally shed tears. The group of part-time Santa guards were dumbfounded, obviously shocked by the idiots of the kingdom. Yang Dingfeng observed his words and knew that Boss Ha Bang was still in a rage, so he said smoothly: "Everything in this society is fake, and they can't see the real Santa Claus at a glance. The real Santa Claus must be hiding in other places." Place, prepare to launch a large-scale airdrop gift campaign tonight."

I nodded and said, "You have to find out when and where the gift airdrops are so you can catch the real Santa and force him to hand over the snow." Boss Ha Bang's ears moved. Yang Dingfeng said: "The time and place are too difficult to grasp, but since Santa Claus dropped from the sky and airdropped gifts from the chimney, we can grasp this, and it will be difficult for him to fly even if he has wings. Come on, hum, we'll kidnap him and extort a lot of money from the United Nations Fairy Tale Foundation." It's really evil, the leader of the demon party, Double-Face, is not half as bad as him. Boss Ha Bang's hair stood on end. "There's no need to kidnap him." Boss Ha Bang's eyes were full of courage: "Just rob him of the big bag on his back, roast his deer to eat, and then sell him to his mother in the kingdom." I shuddered, really worthy of being the boss. "It's pretty cold." I said, the hands holding the binoculars were shaking badly. We stood on an observation deck in Bagua Mountain, from here we could see the lights of Wanjia and several large chimneys of Taihua Company under the interchange. "Don't shake, look at the sky carefully, don't miss any flying elk." Senior Silicone said, he said it easily, it is very difficult to miss any flying deer, it is very difficult to find half of them. The night at the end of the year is really cold, especially in the mountains. There is still a damp smell of dew in the evening wind, which makes people shiver. "It's time to change hands. I've been looking at it for an hour." I said, patting Wang Guo's shoulder. In fact, the two of us changed hands throughout the night, and our level has been unable to rise. I gave the binoculars to the Kingdom, squatted on the ground and grilled meat with everyone. The dishes included the usual beef slices, pork slices, shiitake mushrooms, etc., as well as a wild boar that Boss Ha Bang just killed on the road. The dead wild boar was skewered When it rises, it is roasted, and the aroma is tangy. "Following the boss is really delicious. I didn't expect there to be boars to eat." Yang Dingfeng said happily, although I knew he would rather go to the dance to pick up girls than wait on the cold mountain to hunt Santa Claus. I brushed the wild boar with barbecue sauce, thinking, this wild boar must find it incredible that it would be killed by a dirt hooligan in the grass, just like me, I also feel very strange why I am sitting on the fire Waiting for Santa to be shot down by us.And it was shot down by a sky cannon. Yes, you heard that right, it's a sky cannon. We were just down the hill buying some barbecue stuff and the damn kingdom mentioned how we're going to shoot Santa down from the sky, but we don't know where to get bazookas or rattlesnakes or even a helicopter, call the police and ask I was also called an idiot. When we were in trouble, the boss rushed into the grocery store and brought out a large box of sky cannons. He made it clear that he would use the sky cannon to kill Santa Claus who could fly around. Knowing that the shooting range of the sky cannon is too short, unless we can effectively approach Santa Claus, there is only a glimmer of hope within 20 meters. In order to know the whereabouts of Santa Claus, we just took the contact booklet of the whole class and called one by one, asking everyone to stay on the balcony at home all night today and monitor the entire sky with binoculars. Just call and tip off so we can rush over and get him. "Santa Claus has appeared!" Kingdom cried. I was terrified and looked up, there was no Santa Claus, just a plane flying at night. Everyone sat down in disinterest and continued to roast wild boar. "I was thinking, maybe Santa Claus only goes to places with snow, and he won't come to places without snow." Yang Dingfeng couldn't help but say, trying to cancel Boss Ha Bang's plan: "Maybe Santa Claus is in Japan right now." Giving gifts on the Daxue Mountain in Hokkaido, it could be in Canada, it could be in New York, or anywhere there is snow—” He must not have given up on the plan of picking up girls at the prom. I nodded and echoed: "Could this be a disease? Just like vampires are afraid of the sun, Santa Claus may be a snowman at all. If the temperature is too high, the snowman will melt, so Santa Claus is never there without snow." It appears on the card, which is very suspicious." The Kingdom yelled: "Santa Claus!" Silica raised his head and looked at it, and cursed: "Nonsense, let's see it clearly, it's an airplane!" I pouted my chin and watched Boss Ha Bang tore off the boar's leg and ate it, as if he didn't respond to what we just said. "I don't know if Santa Claus is a snowman, but he must be sick." Senior Silicone also tore a boar leg and said, "Otherwise, why does he only wear red clothes? Like a big red envelope, I never I haven't seen him in any other color on the card." Wang Guo held the binoculars and said darkly: "My mother said that people who hang themselves in red clothes will die with grievances and turn into ghosts to take revenge. They will never be reborn. Santa Claus must have hanged himself in red clothes, and it will take hundreds of years." They are still haunted, those elk must be ghosts too, otherwise how could they be flying around in the sky?" It's already past one o'clock in the middle of the night, and there are many ghosts and shadows in the mountains. I was a little scared when I heard it, and asked, "Then why is Santa Claus throwing gifts from house to house?" Wang Guo continued to look at the sky, and said, "I guess that bag is not a gift at all, otherwise why would you give gifts secretly, just knock on the door and give it generously. The bag must be the soul." Yang Dingfeng snorted and said, "Send souls door to door?" Wang Guo shook his head and said: "It's just the opposite. It is stealing the souls of bad children from door to door. If a child is not good for a whole year, his soul will be stolen by Santa Claus and put into a belt, so Christmas The old man always smiles like a mental patient." I got goosebumps all over my body and said, "Santa Claus must have been bullied by many children before, so he hanged himself in a red dress. What kind of terrible secrets are hidden in the deep hatred? How many twists and turns are there? Do you want a centenarian to solve the problem by committing suicide?" The Kingdom couldn't help shedding tears, looked at the sky and said: "From now on, Santa Claus will drive a ghost elk cart and jump into the chimney to hunt the souls of misbehaving children on the annual night. Just use despicable means to abuse Santa Claus, so that countless misbehaved children will not be killed by Santa Claus in a hundred years. Alas, what is wrong with revenge?" Wang Guo and I hugged each other and wept, while Yang Dingfeng and Silica looked at us with disdainful eyes. "Ah! Santa Claus!" cried the Kingdom. "Bastard, is this a meteor or an airplane?" Silica looked at the sky impatiently. An unknown object was slowly flying around in the air, getting closer and closer, and finally stopped and hung on the chimney of a small factory. It's smooth, it's— I exclaimed: "It's really Santa Claus!" "Go and have a look!" Yang Dingfeng was shocked, and he couldn't help but not believe it. "That thing doesn't seem to be Santa Claus and his elk?" Silicone snatched the binoculars and looked at it, and said, "It looks like a flying saucer?" "Oh, oh, oh, oh, it turns out that Santa Claus no longer rides an elk! Instead, he rides a flying saucer!" I was very excited. "Fucking, maybe Santa Claus is an alien!" Yang Dingfeng was also very excited. Boss Ha Bang didn't intend to rush down the mountain, but just took out the tank of sky cannon from his father's luggage compartment. "It's too late to rush down, just shoot down Santa Claus!" Boss Ha Bang's tone was flat, but his movements were resolute, and he set up the sky cannon at once, like a group of surface-to-air missiles. Yang Dingfeng looked at the UFO hovering over the chimney of the small factory, and couldn't help but said, "Let's go down quickly, the range of the sky cannon will never reach there, boss!" Boss Ha Bang glared at the UFO, and slowly said: "No matter what it is, as long as it is still in the sky, I can shoot it down with a sky cannon!" I was in tears, I was so heroic, I deserved to be my master. Boss Ha Bang took out his lighter, stared at the UFO in the distance, ignited the fuze that tied all the sky cannons together, and ordered: "Listen well, go and shoot down Santa Claus, don't think that you sky cannons will fly into the air and you will be killed!" It can be done once and for all, and escape my fist. Go!" With a loud shout, dozens of soaring cannons whizzed up! "Go!" I yelled. "Invincible Sky Cannon!" Wang Guo raised his hands and shouted. The soaring cannon moved towards the UFO, but miraculously, it didn't explode, until the moment the UFO actually hit the strange thing, it exploded together! We are all dumbfounded, except for the boss who is already starting the car. "Hurry up and get in the car? Get the sacks and sticks ready, let's go grab Santa Claus." Ha Bang picked his nostrils and glued his booger to the steering wheel. I looked up and saw that the UFO really shook and fell powerlessly towards the ground. So we happily carried the half-eaten roast boar into the car and ran! "I didn't expect to shoot down the flying saucer!" Silica yelled while opening the window, and kept knocking on the car door with the stick in his hand. "It's Santa Claus!" I roared happily, but the boar's head kept wiping Wang Guo's face, making his face covered with oil. "It's Santa Claus driving a flying saucer!" Yang Dingfeng held the pig's body and was also overjoyed. The car soon came to the bottom of the mountain in the dead of night, and the UFO crashed in the middle of the courtyard of the small factory that had long been abandoned. As soon as we got out of the car, we climbed over the wall of the small factory with sticks, jumped off, and surrounded the smoking monster from all directions. Something, lest Santa Claus take the opportunity to escape. No matter from which angle you look at the falling flying object, it is in the shape of a familiar flying saucer. It is round and flat, about 30 square meters in size, with a silver light machine flickering crookedly, and a large translucent cover. . "Still hiding?" Boss Ha Bang stepped on the disc wing of the flying saucer, and swung the stick in his hand down violently. The big translucent cover was made of unknown material, and it didn't matter. There is nothing absolutely defensive under Ha Bang. I poked my head around and watched the big boss pull off the big cover and throw it aside. Everyone leaned over together to witness this great moment of robbery. Lying in the naked cockpit of the flying saucer were two—big heads, small mouths, pointed ears, broad foreheads, thin bodies— "Aliens?" Wang Guo asked puzzled. Boss Ha Bang was furious, smashed the complex and delicate instrument panel with a stick, and asked loudly: "Shouldn't you be wearing red clothes!" The two extraterrestrials looked at the greatest man on Earth, Mr. Habang, in horror, took out something that looked like a microphone, and said tremblingly, "We come from the Milky Way—" "I asked you why you don't wear red clothes!" Ha Bang boss knocked down again, and the dashboard was completely destroyed, with thick smoke rising. I sighed, these two aliens have provoked the worst people, and they will never return to their home at the far end of the galaxy. "Our space suits don't have red—" An alien looked at the dashboard with a shocked and sad expression. "Damn! Where's your deer! Where's your big backpack! Hand it over!" Boss Ha Bang went crazy, it's really not easy to make him so angry, even when he was beaten by hooligans in PUB Kingdom last time Boss Ha Bang didn't take it seriously. Two aliens still sitting on chairs with seat belts on don't know what to do. I don't think they are Santa Claus at all, but it's not wrong for them to be shot down by the boss. Who told them that the earth is so big, but they ran away To the little Changhua in the little Taiwan, next to the little Bagua Mountain in the little Changhua, and on the little chimney of the little factory in the little Bagua Mountain, they came here on purpose to get shot. "Shooted down by the sky cannon, your flying saucer is really bad." Wang Guo looked at them sadly. "Hand it over quickly!" The boss of Ha Bang dropped his stick, and the alien sitting on the right passed out with a bang, rolling his eyes crookedly. The alien sitting on the left was stunned, and immediately said respectfully: "We don't have big bags, and we don't have deer, but we come from the Milky Way—" Blue veins appeared on the forehead of Ha Bang, and he cursed in a voice almost like a nuclear bomb: "Damn! Then why are you wasting so many of my soaring cannons!" The aliens were inexperienced, so they couldn't keep up with the speed of our followers plugging their ears. They were stunned by the roar of the boss, and green saliva flowed out. "Damn, pack it!" Mr. Ha Bang jumped off the flying saucer carelessly, and we packed the two aliens into sacks while studying the novelty of the aliens in the flying saucer. "It's so dazzling, I never thought of kidnapping aliens in my life." Yang Dingfeng was amazed, couldn't help touching around in the flying saucer, and even pulled out a shiny thing that looked like it was constantly glowing. souvenir. "And there are two of them, how much can they sell for? They are so skinny, the price must be very bad." Wang Guo and I threw the aliens into the sack and tied a knot. "You still have to ask your mother." I replied. Indeed, before dawn, we drove to his house in the kingdom and sold the two aliens to his mother who bought everything for 10,000 yuan. After that, we went to Yonghe Soymilk Store for supper. Sombre, clearly unhappy with Santa who escaped.And we forgot to call one by one to inform those students who stayed on the balcony all night that the operation was over, and they all caught a cold as a result. As for the aftermath of the aliens being abducted by us, that's another story.