Chapter 12 stand-in battle

When I was studying in the high school of Jingcheng Middle School, it was very popular to read comics in class. Boys Express, Treasure Island Boys, TOP that hadn’t been discarded at that time, or booklets stolen from bookstores were almost all passed around under the table. It is passed around, especially in our class, not only does everyone have a comic book, but it is also accompanied by grilled sausages that are not popular in other classes, which is really a great enjoyment. I remember it was a beautiful morning just after raising the flag. The classroom was filled with the smoke of Yang Dingfeng secretly grilling sausages behind.

And the wise and mighty Boss Ha Bang is lying quietly on the leather sofa chair, concentrating on flipping through the red and purple comics at that time, one after another, and the boss will pass it on to the younger ones after finishing each one. I was watching the original manga of "Seven Nights Ghost Story" which was later adapted into a horror movie: Movie Girl. I still remember that there were more than 30 books on the boss's desk at that time, and the reading speed was surprisingly slow. I must have a high opinion of this set of comics. It's highly rated, so it's a shame.

At that time, I took out two slices of toast from my schoolbag, and was about to go to the back of the classroom to pick up the grilled sausage with my name on it, when I saw Mr. Habang's brows knit together, but the corners of his mouth slowly raised. "The big thing is not good. It's better not to act rashly at this time." I sat back on my seat and waved my hand to signal Yang Dingfeng to throw my grilled sausage over. I just catch it with toast. I saw Yang Dingfeng pick up the grilled sausage I ordered with the iron clip of Qingshuigou, and threw it far away. I was secretly unhappy, because the greasy track drawn by the sausage in the midair of the classroom was completely wrong, even if I stood on the table Still can't get it.

With a whooping sound, the hot grilled sausage fell into the seam of the clothes exposed behind the fat woman who was sleeping on the table with incomparable precision. The fat woman woke up with a scream, like a pig that suddenly saw a ghost. The sausage scalded the fat woman's skin until it creaked, and finally got stuck in the hook of the bra. The fat woman kept yelling and screaming, making everyone unable to concentrate on reading the manga, and all glared at the fat woman who disturbed the order. "Don't move around!" I jumped onto the table behind the fat woman's seat, put one foot on her head to prevent the fat woman from moving around, and reached into her clothes with one hand to pull out the grilled sausage stuck behind the bra. Sandwiched in toast.

"It's all scorched, no wonder it's so hot." I looked at the blackened grilled sausage, and slowly sat back on my seat, leaving behind the fat woman who continued to sleep. At this time, the chaotic classroom suddenly fell silent. I had a grilled sausage in my mouth, but the grilled sausage suddenly froze like a tri-color popsicle, freezing my tongue almost numb. Because the boss stood up, raised his right hand high, and issued a strange command with a "snap" of two fingers. Everyone turned their heads inexplicably, looking at what the arrogant boss was doing.

Then, everyone saw the JOJO Adventure Yelang manga in the hands of Boss Ha Bang. "Platinum Star." The boss said these four words seriously. A chill runs down my spine, which means one thing. Everyone also understood what was happening in the classroom. I had a tasteless grilled sausage in my mouth, and I sat motionless on my seat, with my eyes tightly closed, not daring to blink. Yang Dingfeng squatted behind the classroom, foolishly allowing the sausage to be blackened by the charcoal fire without daring to turn it over, his eyes were so smoky that weeping. Yang Dingfeng's girlfriend, Xie Jiayun, was secretly making a gingerbread house in a drawer, holding a sandwich biscuit in each hand and not daring to move.

Tata, who likes to kick shuttlecocks at the back of the classroom, is independent on one leg, and looks so hard that she dare not shake it. The shuttlecock barely landed on her ankle when she kicked it halfway. Wang Guo was kneeling under the table to hold the bento he ate secretly, with a marinated egg in his mouth, a spoon in his right hand inserted into the half-cooked sweet potato rice, and a "red middle" mahjong that was about to be played in his left hand. Ye Rouhan, the history teacher, was also standing in front of the podium, her mouth was open, the chalk just stopped on the blackboard halfway through writing, and her eyes were deliberately blank.

The big white dog that the boss brought to the school was squatting on Wang Guo’s feet to defecate, but now it’s squatting like a sumo wrestler, embarrassingly stopping the poop in the gap between clipping and not clipping. Because time has been forced to "suspend" under the order of the boss. The only ones who are active and allowed to be passive are the boss and him. Boss Ha Bang walked slowly to the middle of the classroom when the electric fan on the ceiling suddenly broke and stopped abruptly. "Kingdom, from now on, you are the Platinum Star, in charge of time-out."

Boss Ha Bang walked up to Wang Guo and patted him on the shoulder. Wang Guo's body shook, the fat stewed egg in his mouth almost choked him to death, the bento fell to the ground, and the red heart in his left hand was tightly squeezed in the palm of his hand.The dangers that Wang Guo encountered in his life cannot be overstated. "Yes, boss." Wang Guo swallowed the marinated egg hard, his face turning blue. "No, it's Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola." Boss Ha Bang instructed in a straight voice. Boss Habang raised his right hand high, and made a "slap" sound with his fingers.

I spit out the cold grilled sausage, Yang Dingfeng coughed loudly without opening his face, Xie Jiayun crushed the gingerbread house with cramps in his hands, Tata fell straight down, the history teacher held the podium and took out a handkerchief to wipe his tears, the boss’s big white dog sat on his buttocks on the stool. The time pause was lifted, it was really too hard to play the situation. As for the Kingdom, which was regarded as the "Platinum Star" as the honorary stand-in for the boss of Harbin, the whole person fell into a daze with his soul out of his body. "Who is the worst villain, demon, and big devil in this school? Let's team up to defeat him."

Boss Habang stood in the middle of the classroom, looking around at the dead common people. Boss!This villain is actually your old man! I'd love to say it, but as a loyal and slanderous sycophant, all I can do is throw a cold grilled sausage into a fat woman's clothes and hold it between a bra. All the students succumbed to the low pressure of looking at each other, and no one dared to tell Boss Ha Bang this fact. Everyone understands that as long as Boss Ha Bang wants to play games, you have to play with him. If you are lucky, you are his teammate. If you are unlucky, you have to act as the big devil and be slaughtered by the sea. "Boss, the principal who regularly organizes various after-school tutoring, exams, and stipulates that each class cleans the area does all kinds of evil. Everyone has a backlog of flames of anger, but the principal's stand-in ability "Thief Bald Jelly" is too domineering. Everyone dare not be angry. Dare to say, we are only waiting for a brave man to lead us, and we will not hesitate to defeat the principal.” Yang Dingfeng stood up, clenched his fists and said righteously: "This brave man is none other than you, the boss!" The whole class stared at Yang Dingfeng alone, what a shameless intellectual! "I don't accept useless followers, what is your stand-in ability?" Boss Ha Bang asked with murderous eyes. "What the boss said is that my substitute is a crazy imbecile. His ability is very imbecile, frighteningly imbecile, and insanely imbecile. The range of imbecility is infinite, the growth space is zero, and the speed is—" Yang Dingfeng turned his head. Looking at me, he asked, "Gao Sai, how much did you run in 100 meters?" I stupidly replied, "About seventeen seconds." Yang Dingfeng looked at Boss Habang seriously, and said, "The speed is 17 seconds per 100 meters, which is very low energy." Boss Habang looked at me contemptuously, and the cold sweat on my back soaked my clothes. I thought I couldn't escape the team that defeated the principal's evil forces together. That’s okay, anyway, it’s not me who suffers the most, but the innocent principal and his non-existent henchmen. "To defeat the evil forces is the duty-bound mission of our stand-ins." I automatically stood behind Yang Dingfeng, the bastard who was changing the steering wheel when he saw the wind, and assumed a crooked JOJO pose. Boss Habang nodded and said, "Where are we going to play the first level?" After the boss finished speaking, everyone in the class breathed a sigh of relief. After all, the boss started messing around in the campus, so they can continue to kick shuttlecocks, play mahjong, play with the big dick, and roast the fucking sausages in the classroom. Just run, just dance. Yang Dingfeng said unhurriedly: "Of course, the first hurdle is all the class monitors in the third grade of high school. They rely on themselves as senior sisters who are a class higher than us, and do everything possible to suppress the living space of us elementary school brothers and sisters. The most infuriating thing is that they want to hold a graduation trip a year earlier and buy commemorative schoolbags a year earlier because they entered the school a year earlier than me, and finally they want to graduate a year earlier than us. The attitude makes people very angry." I was stunned to hear that Yang Dingfeng was able to slander Yang Dingfeng without even thinking about it, and I didn’t think about the fact that those senior senior sister’s classes obediently paid the "Atomic Energy Shield Defense Research and Development Fee of Jingcheng Middle School" on time every month. This kind of expenses directly fell into the pocket of the boss of Ha Bang, and Yang Dingfeng did not change his face to frame the kind-hearted senior sister. "How many classes are there in the third grade?" Ha Bang boss showed a very impatient expression. "Loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, love, faith, righteousness, harmony, peace, and propriety, there are nine classes in total and nine small checkpoints." As Yang Dingfeng was counting, he suddenly saw Boss Ha Bang sticking his waist in extreme impatience. "Do you think I'm an idiot? How dare such a damn little character bother me to break it?" Boss Ha Bang walked back to his leather sofa chair, lay down, raised his legs and closed his eyes to rest his mind. Smart as Yang Dingfeng immediately understood what to do. Boss Ha Bang wants to break through and kill the big devil, how can he trek through mountains and rivers and climb stairs to knock on the door of the principal's office like ordinary low-level brave men? So Yang Dingfeng took me, his stand-in emissary, to the training office downstairs. "Ms. Wu, our boss wants to collect the broadcasting from the Discipline Office." I said. Mr. Wu, who works part-time as the dean of students, is eating a bento box. He just waved his hand to signal us to play casually and treat the dean’s office as our own home, and leave him alone.This guy from Ma was stealing lunch after nine o'clock in the morning, and he didn't know that the principal was about to die. Yang Dingfeng turned on the school radio, and shouted regardless of the class being held: "Bastards in the third grade of high school! The evil consequences of your unrighteous actions have finally come. All the monitors of the nine classes gathered in the second year of high school. Get rid of Boss Ha Bang! The time limit is five minutes! Start!" The tone was extremely fierce. Mr. Wu chewed something in his mouth and said inarticulately: "This time, Mr. Habang won't trouble the Discipline Office?" Yang Dingfeng nodded, which was a kind reminder in advance. He has always respected Mr. Wu's ability to survive like a cockroach. Teacher Wu held the bento and smirked: "But the old man wouldn't kill him to come to the discipline office, would he? Then I don't have to run away." We nodded, Boss Ha Bang's time is precious and lazy, so the victory must follow the simple and fast four-character rule. So Mrs. Wu continued to eat bento and let the third-grade monitors become things for the boss to stuff his teeth. Later, when we returned to the upstairs classroom, we saw nine seniors and squad leaders, regardless of gender, height or height, all trembling and not daring to move. "Kingdom Brand Platinum Star" was suspended. We watched everything that was happening in the execution ground from a distance, and saw that Boss Ha Bang was still lying on the leather chair and yawning, as if he had nothing to do with himself. Wang Guo put a pair of unidentified underwear on his head as a mask, stripped off his upper body and shouted angrily: "Ola Ola Ola Ola Ola Ola Ola..." Then he rushed to the nine senior class monitors whose time had been frozen There was a burst of punches and beatings in the middle. Those nine wretches couldn't fight back or fall down after being beaten, and couldn't even make a painful expression, until the boss of Ha Bang stretched out his hand and heard a crisp "snap" sound, the nine struggling seniors The sister just fell to the ground and made a painful sound. One of the school sisters hugged her stomach and cried loudly, for fear that Boss Ha Bang would call a substitute for another round. Wang Guo was out of breath, and looked at Boss Ha Bang with weak hands and feet.He had just been exercising vigorously for at least a minute. Boss Habang saw us watching from a distance, and asked loudly: "What else is there? Hurry up and report your name!" Yang Dingfeng said like a few treasures: "Hong Xing, a senior high school student who missed the payment of the previous period, will be the bully, Guo Sandong Xing Yaoyang who forgot to prepay the next period, the fussy director of the Academic Affairs Office, and Black King Kong who kills people without blinking an eye in the Sports Department. , Director Qian of the General Affairs Office who regards money as his life but spends it like water, and—"Yang Dingfeng is the worst person I have ever seen who cannot join revolutionary groups such as the Tiandihui, the Red Flower Society, the Tongmenghui, and the ZTE Society. Boss Habang was very displeased, and said: "Then do they have a substitute? It's really boring to keep beating these people who can't fight back." Now it's a bit troublesome, do you want them all to cosplay as stand-in messengers?In case they are not creative enough, it is hard to guarantee that Boss Ha Bang will not take his anger out on us. Yang Dingfeng thought for a while and said, "Yes, I heard that the principal's supernatural power is unrestrained and creative. It is said to be the scariest and most irresistible ability since Dior's stand-in!" Boss Habang's expression was still a little uninterested, and he said casually: "Okay, then ask the principal to bring his double to fight with me, and let your crazy imbecile show his face by the way." So Yang Dingfeng and I hurried downstairs to the Discipline Office again. After collecting the radio, I yelled: "Principal! Don't hide and hide! The time to confront justice is really urgent, and you won't be more than a second away. One second less of you is a lot worse! Don’t do unnecessary resistance anymore! Hurry up and take your queen instructor’s stand-in envoy to the classroom of the second class of senior high school to suffer death!” I also have the capital to be an outstanding intellectual in Taiwan. At this time, the instructor Xie Shuishi, who was chewing betel nuts with his legs crossed and looking at the confiscated cartoons from the students, almost fell off his chair and said with wide eyes, "No way, you students are fighting with the principal." Killing, killing, what are you doing to our instructor? Is it irrelevant?" Yang Dingfeng and I shook our heads together: "No." Instructor Xie Shuishi said helplessly, "Should I just be beaten?" Yang Dingfeng pointed to the cartoon in the hands of instructor Xie Shuishi, and said, "You still have to pretend to be messengers and resist bravely for a while." Xu Jiacheng, the chief instructor who hurried back to the training office, was out of breath and leaned against the door with a face full of dog shit and blue veins on his face. I apologized and said: "Instructor, you also have to be a cosplay stand-in messenger, hurry up and think about showing off a little super power to be serious." Instructor Xu was panting, but he said angrily, "Is your boss annoying? Believe it or not, I called the police to report him as a hooligan and arrested him. He was handcuffed into a helicopter and sent to Green Island to lock him up for ten years." Eight years? It’s okay to beat the senior sister and the principal, but you have to pay the price for playing the instructor!” Pointing at our noses, he cursed. I looked at Yang Dingfeng, he smiled and took out a small tape recorder from his trouser pocket, shook it, and the sound of the tape rolling inside was clearly visible. "Boss will be very unhappy when he hears this." My brows were furrowed. "Why do some things have to be bloody before you stop? I still remember that Dong Xing Yaoyang, who was in the first grade last semester, looked so embarrassed when he first came in, and he almost performed a mysterious human spontaneous combustion on the playground." Yang Peak sighed. "Ah! Human fireworks are rare to see in a hundred years!" Mr. Wu, who was still eating lunch in the training office, agreed casually, and he didn't think that, as the training director, he escaped the catastrophe only by relying on his relationship with us. Instructor Xu swallowed his saliva, and said without blushing, without panting, "Actually, I have already thought about my substitute ability, isn't it just to intimidate the devil indiscriminately? Doesn't it seem to be dazzling enough? Sigh, just pretending to intimidate you all failed. , let me think about it again, ah! Got it! How about a tram idiot? Tram idiot plus singing and dancing!" I looked at Instructor Xu, this guy's face is really cheap~~~~ to the extreme, no wonder he can serve as the chief instructor of Habang's alma mater for five years without dying. "Okay then, five minutes later, you will bring the principal to our classroom to be beaten. Remember to resist bravely before lying down! If you lie down too early, you may have to lie down twice!" After Yang Dingfeng finished his speech, he followed me to the classroom upstairs to prepare a gorgeous battle plan for a substitute. Boss Ha Bang fell asleep, holding a Coke and a hot dog in his hand, obviously feeling relaxed or impatient with the final battle of the big devil. I put on an orange plastic bucket as a helmet, took off my uniform and trousers, and put them all on backwards as a model. I looked proudly at the rib-clad kingdom, and immediately compared his poor model. Yang Dingfeng put on a serious expression, and stood beside Boss Ha Bang with a look of ready-to-go. Then, the principal who played the role of the unlucky big devil appeared. The principal is actually a very gentle old gentleman, he is very respectful to all kinds of almost nonsense demands from Boss Ha Bang, and once vowed to be filial to Boss Ha Bang in front of the teachers and students of the whole school on the commander's platform during the court meeting, this time he was forced to cosplay Bad guy, it's really unfair. Boss Habang rubbed his eyes, staring sleepily at the principal who was spoofed. "That... the brave man... Mr. Ha Bang... I... I am the great devil who has never done evil..." The headmaster's bald head continued to ooze cold sweat, and his whole body in a suit and leather shoes was shaking: "I swear... I swear ..." Looking at Instructor Xie and Instructor Xu next to him. "The whole school will be destroyed." Instructor Xu reminded the principal. Instructor Xu's hands are holding black suction cup sticks for cleaning toilets, which is probably a sustained force-type stand-in ability; I don't see how this has anything to do with tram morons. "Yes... I swear I will destroy this school... at all costs... at all costs..." Sweat dripped from the headmaster's forehead. "At all costs." Instructor Xie replied. Instructor Xie held a lawn mower in his hand, which seemed to be a heavy-duty stand-in function. "Yes... destroy this school at all costs..." The headmaster loosened his tie, he could hardly bear the huge pressure of dying. Boss Ha Bang sat on the leather sofa chair, his eyes were as sharp as an eagle, and he said slowly: "As a parent who loves school, I can't let you do this." Depend on!Boss is playing very seriously! Yang Dingfeng stepped forward at the right time and yelled: "Boss! This guy actually has two doubles! What an unprecedented double ability!" He was ready to call me out. Boss Ha Bang gave out a strong murderous look, and stared at Yang Dingfeng fiercely: "There are two doubles, and you actually lied that the double ability of this big devil is unprecedented?" The air quickly became cold, and the walls began to frost. Hearing such a severe reprimand from Boss Habang, both Yang Dingfeng and I went limp. "Who said there are only two substitutes?" An obese figure, holding a half-eaten bento, appeared in the corridor behind the principal without knowing what to say. It's Teacher Wu! Teacher Wu actually kindly showed up to make a rescue! Holding a weapon that looks exactly like Ikegami Bento, the stand-in ability is unknown! "Damn it! It's actually a hidden cheat!" Yang Dingfeng yelled quickly, avoiding the boss' murderous intent. "I am the terminator of darkness, the land of light for a moment, adults and children love to watch..." Teacher Wu said while eating the bento: "Chishang Bento Superman." Yang Dingfeng yelled: "Boss! I'll go first! I will live up to my mission! Crazy imbecile!" Clapped his hands. I jumped out immediately, slapping the plastic bucket on my head with both hands violently and yelling. I behaved very incompetently, and it looked like a malfunctioning stand-in. The headmaster faltered and said, "Him... knock him down... okay?" Instructor Xie said hello to Instructor Xu loudly. Instructor Xu waved the toilet suction cup and shouted: "My stand-in ability is to absorb all the air within three meters around and create a perfect vacuum state!" I pretended that the air was exhausted and the oxygen was insufficient and I yelled: "Damn it! I can hardly breathe! My body is gradually weakening..." Kneeling on the ground trembling, I was ready to pass out at any time. In the orange world, I only heard Boss Ha Bang say coldly: "What kind of air does a substitute need?" I immediately cheered up and laughed: "I'm lying to you! This kind of attack is simply pediatrics! It's completely useless!" Then I punched Instructor Xu in the face. Instructor Xu pretended that my fist strength was infinite, and immediately spit out the tomato sauce in his mouth, and the black suction cup fell to the ground. Instructor Xie said insignificantly: "My stand-in ability is weeding, and the grass within ten meters is under my control..." Lifting the heavy weeding machine buzzed. Boss Habang said coldly: "Say it again." Now instructor Xie's spirit is all here, and he almost turned into another person, like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, holding a lawn mower and running away: "Hey~~~~ My stand-in ability is to use noise to cut space! Any attack in my body It's all useless in front of you!" "Come on! Crazy imbecile!" Yang Dingfeng yelled, and the whole class was forced to clap their hands for encouragement. I rushed forward blindly, and the scythe blade of the weeder cut the plastic bucket above my head with a bang, and I fell down in surprise. Instructor Xie played too much! "No one can stop the principal from ruining the beautiful campus!" Instructor Xie's Texas Chainsaw Massacre continued to go on a rampage. Yang Dingfeng fell to the ground knowingly, his eyes were blank and he muttered to himself: "What a terrible cutting space, there is endless darkness in front of me... Goodbye Athena... As a saint, there is nothing I can do... " The situation in front of us is that Mr. Ha Bang is sitting on the ground in the classroom. Instructor Xu, Yang Dingfeng and I are lying comfortably on the ground and pretending to be dead. The principal stands at attention tremblingly, and instructor Xie is waving a dangerous lawn mower in the corridor. , Teacher Wu hid behind the principal to eat bento, while the whole class cried out for help and shouted to save the beautiful campus. "Platinum Star." Boss Habang raised his hand and made a "snap". Time pauses. All noise was frozen. Instructor Xie raised the lawnmower aloft with a pale expression. He must have regretted lifting the heavy killing machine when time paused. Teacher Wu's bento was held in his hand, and he was eating Lu cabbage with relish. The headmaster stood straight and stiff like a bronze statue who died in the line of duty. Wearing YG underwear, Wang Guo walked into the space frozen in time, and shouted angrily with his upper body bare: "Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola-Ola..." Instructor Xie fell to his knees with a black nose and face after receiving hundreds of punches, he was finally relieved. Teacher Wu sat down without being greeted with a punch, and continued to chew on the bento-shaped weapon. And the principal, after Wang Guo gave him two symbolic punches, remained straight and motionless, and fell down refusing to give in. Wang Guo had no choice but to respect the professionalism of the principal's cosplay big devil, and continued to knock five times on his chin. , Six punches. But the headmaster still stands firm. "Strange, why the principal still refuses to fall down? Could it be that he is addicted to cosplay?" I wondered in my heart. The principal's expression was a little strange, his facial features were all frozen, it would not be an exaggeration to say that he was a plaster statue. We later learned that the principal passed out because of being too nervous. He kept his consistent expression of fear and respect until he was sent to Changhua Christian Hospital. He didn't wake up until he was rescued for two hours. After many years, we talked about this interesting past in the class reunion, and we also mentioned the follow-up report of this brave principal who turned around from the gate of hell; Liberated in the experience, he changed himself. He really liked to play the game of "Time Pause" with the poor and low-ranking intern teacher in the principal's office. Many intern teachers called him "the big bald devil" in private. Presumably the old principal was really It's too depressing. ----------------------------------------------- Notes: