Chapter 41 Chapter 03

That was the day I stayed with Natasha for a whole night.I got home very late.Nellie was asleep.Alexandra Semyonovna was also very sleepy, but she stayed with the patient and waited for my return.as soon as she sees me back Immediately afterwards, she hurriedly whispered to me that Nellie was very happy at first, even laughing, but then she became morose again, and when she saw that I was not back, she closed her mouth and fell into thought. "Later she said she had a headache, and she cried as she spoke. , and weeping, crying so sadly, I didn’t know what to do at the time,” said Alexander

Della Semyonovna added. "She talked to me about Natalya Nikolaevna again, but I couldn't say anything to her; Fall asleep with tears. Okay , good-bye, Ivan Petrovitch; I find she is better at last, and I am going home, as Philip Philippech has ordered.To tell you the truth, this time, he only let me out for two hours, and I insisted on staying.But also Nothing, don't worry about me; he dares not lose his temper... unless... Oh, my God, dear Ivan Petrovitch, what shall I do: now he comes home drunk every day!He seems to be busy with something, but busy, and Don't tell me, if a person is worried, he must be thinking about something important; this, I can see; but at night, he is always drunk... I am only worried that when he comes home now, who To wait on him and let him sleep?All right

,I am leaving, bye.Good-bye, Ivan Petrovitch.I flipped through your books: you have so many books, they must be quite advanced; but I am a big fool, I never read books or newspapers...well, see you tomorrow..." But the next day, Nellie awoke sullen, sad, and indifferent to me.She wouldn't say a word to me, as if she was angry with me.I noticed that she seemed to be secretly giving me two eyes; there was a lot of guilt in those eyes. There was a dull pain in my heart, but there was still a tenderness in it, which she never had when she looked directly at me.The entanglement in which the doctor asked her to take medicine and she refused to take it also happened on this day; I don't know what to think about this change.

But Nellie's attitude towards me changed completely.Her eccentricity, her capriciousness, her almost hatred of me at times--it continued until the day she stopped living with me, until the tragic end of our novel. until the big change.But this is already a story. But there are times when she is just as affectionate with me as she used to be.At these moments she seemed to be doubly affectionate to me; most often it was at these moments that she wept.But these moments pass like a flash in the pan and then she fell back into her old misery and looked at me viciously again, either throwing a tantrum like she did to the doctor, or suddenly laughing when she found out that I didn't like some new naughty behavior of hers. Laughed, and laughed for a few days

Almost always ends in tears. She even once quarreled with Alexandra Semyonovna, telling her she wanted nothing from her.Later, when I reproached her in front of Alexandra Semyonovna, she suddenly became angry and smoldered in her heart. The roots of my head vented all at once, and I retaliated with this, but then I suddenly closed my mouth while talking, and then I didn’t say a word to me for two days, and refused to take any medicine, or even take it. Don't drink, only the old doctor can dissuade her, make her feel ashamed. As I have already said, a certain amazing mutual respect and love began between the doctor and her from the day of the medicine. It's a smile and a joyous welcome to his arrival.

.For the old man's part, he also began to see us every day, sometimes twice a day, even when Nellie was able to get out of bed, and had fully begun to recover, and Nellie seemed to be fascinated by him, as long as you don't hear her Laughter, he couldn't live a day without hearing her often amusing banter with him.He began to bring her all kinds of picture books, which were entirely persuasive in nature.There is a book that he bought specially for her.Then bring her various Desserts and sweets in nice little boxes.On such occasions he came in so beaming as if it were a birthday, and Nellie guessed at once that he must be bringing presents.But he refused to take out the gift right away, just smiled

Ke Ke, sitting next to Nellie, said around the corner, if a little girl behaves well and is appreciated when he is not around, then this little girl should be rewarded well.When he said this, he always looked at her very simple and kindly, thinking that Although Zhi Nellie also laughed at him and gave out a very hearty laugh, but at this moment her eyes suddenly opened up revealing a kind of intimacy and attachment to the old man from the bottom of her heart.At last the old man rose solemnly from his chair, took out a box of sweets, and put She handed it to Nellie, and always added: "To my future good lady." At this time, he was probably happier than Nellie.

Then they began to talk, and each time he urged her to take care of her health seriously and earnestly, and each time he made some earnest medical advice to her. "The most important thing is to take care of your health," he said in a didactic tone, "first and foremost, to survive, and second, to stay healthy forever so that you can enjoy life, my dear. child if you When something is sad, forget about it, or better not think about it at all.If you don't have anything sad, then... don't think about it, try to think of something happy... think of something pleasant, something amusing..."

"Thinking of something pleasant and amusing?" Nellie asked. The doctor was immediately stopped. "Well, let's say... think of some innocent and lively game for your age; or, let's say... well, anything of that kind..." "I don't want to make games; I don't like to make games," said Nellie. "I love new clothes." "New clothes? Hmm. That's not so good, one should live in poverty in all respects and be thrifty. But then again... maybe... you can like new clothes." "After I marry you, will you make me many, many new clothes?"

"What a fantasy!" said the doctor, frowning involuntarily.Nellie smiled slyly, and even once, for a moment, smiled at me. "However, then again... if you behave well, I will definitely give you a new Clothes," continued the doctor. "After I marry you, do I still need to take medicine every day?" "Well, then don't always take medicine," the doctor also laughed. Nellie interrupted the conversation with a giggle.The old man also laughed along with her, watching her happiness with compassion. "What a naughty boy!" he said to me, "but there's always something wayward, eccentric, and restless."

He is right.I really don't know what's wrong with her.She didn't seem to want to talk to me at all, as if I had done something wrong to her.I'm so sad about this.I myself was frowning and sullen, and once I I didn't talk to her all day, but I couldn't help but feel ashamed the next day.She cries a lot, and I really don't know how to comfort her.One day, however, she broke her silence to me. One day, just before evening, I came home to find Nellie hastily hiding a book under her pillow.It was a novel I had written that she read from the table when I was away.Why hide the book from me?ashamed Like--I thought, but I pretended not to see anything.A quarter of an hour later, I went out for a while because I was going to the kitchen, and she quickly got up from the bed and put the book back to the old place: When I came back, I saw that the book was already on the table up.A minute later, she called me over; there was a hint of excitement in her voice.She has hardly spoken to me for four days. "Are you... are you going to see Natasha today?" She asked intermittently. "Yes, Nellie; I very much need to see her today." Nellie was silent. "Do you love her very much?" she asked again in a feeble voice. "Yes, Nellie, very much." "I love her too," she added in a low voice.Then fell silent again. "I want to go and live with her," said Nellie again, looking at me timidly. "It won't do, Nellie," I replied, somewhat surprised. "Don't you feel bad about living with me?" "Why not?" She blushed suddenly. "Didn't you advise me to go and live with her father; but I won't. Has she got a maid?" "Have." "Well, then, let her quit her maid, and I'll attend to her. She'll do everything for nothing; I'll love her and cook for her. Tell her that today." "But why bother, isn't it crazy, Nellie? Why do you think of her like that: do you think she'll let you cook for her? Even if she wants you, it's an equal and treats you You are my sister." "No, I don't want to be treated as equals. I don't want to be..." "why?" Nellie said nothing.Her little mouth twitched twice: she wanted to cry. "Isn't the man she loves going to leave her and leave her alone?" she finally asked. I am amazed. "How did you know that, Nellie?" "You told me everything yourself, and besides, the morning before yesterday Alexandra Semyonovna's husband came and I asked him: he told me everything too." "Did Masloboyev come the morning before yesterday?" "Come here," she replied, lowering her eyes. "Since he has been here, why didn't you tell me?" "Why don't you..." I thought for a moment.God only knows what this Masloboyev is doing hopping around and disappearing.What the hell is he up to?Better go see him. "Well, even if this man abandons her, what does it matter to you?" "Don't you love her very much," replied Nellie, without raising her eyes to me. "Since you love her, you will marry her as soon as that person leaves." "No, Nellie, she doesn't love me the way I love her, and I... no, that's impossible, Nellie." "Then I can be your servant and serve you both, and you can live happily ever after," said Nellie, almost in a low voice, without looking at me. "What's the matter with her, what's the matter with her!" I thought, I felt like I had knocked over a five-flavored bottle, and I didn't know what it was like.Nellie kept her mouth shut, and she didn't say a word the whole evening.Later Alexandra Semyonovna told me that I After she left, she cried, and cried all night, and then fell asleep with tears in her eyes.Even in the middle of the night, in her sleep, she still cried and talked nonsense at night. But from that day on she became more melancholy, more withdrawn, and never spoke to me at all.True, I noticed, too, that she had glanced at me two or three times furtively, and with what tenderness there was in those glances!but it's soon Gone with the moment that evoked this sudden tenderness, and as if to strike back at the sudden impulse, Nellie grew more melancholy with almost every hour, even from the doctor, the doctor. Feeling over this change in her personality Strangely enough, at the same time, she had recovered almost completely, and the doctor allowed her to go for walks out of doors, but not for too long.It was sunny and sunny.It comes especially late this year, just as it is Good Friday; I went out early in the morning; I must go to Tasha's for a while, but I decided to come back early to take Nellie out and walk with her; so I left her at home for a while. But I simply cannot express what a shock awaited me at home.I hurried home.When I came back, I saw that there was a key outside the door.When I entered the door, I saw that there was no one there.I am silly.Look again: there is a note on the table, A few lines of thick, crooked characters were written in pencil: "I'm gone, I've left you, and I'll never come back to you. But I love you very much. Your faithful Nellie" I screamed in shock and ran out of the house.