Chapter 40 Chapter 02

A fortnight passed; Nellie gradually recovered.She has no fever, but is very ill.She recovered and got out of bed. It was the end of April, and the day was sunny and sunny.Just a week before Easter. poor child!I can't continue the story in the same order as before.It has been a long time since I recorded all this past, but so far, whenever I think of this thin and yellow face Dan, when I think of the sharp, long look in her black eyes, I can't help but feel like a knife is piercing my heart.At that time, we often stayed together. She lay on the bed and looked at me for a long time, as if asking me to guess what was going on in her little head.

She seemed to be thinking about something; however, seeing that I refused to guess, and seeing that I was still inexplicable, she quietly, as if smiling in her heart, suddenly extended her hand to me kindly, and her little hand twitched. Hot, with thin fingers on small hands .Now it's all over and everything is clear, but I still don't know all the secrets of the heart of this sick, tormented and humiliated little fellow. I think I'm going to digress, but there's only one Nellie I'd like to think of right now.It's a strange thing to say: Now, when I'm lying alone in a hospital bed, abandoned by all the people I love and love deeply—now, sometimes, there's one thing

Little things that were often inconspicuous to me at the time, and soon forgotten, would suddenly come to my mind, and suddenly take on a whole different meaning in me, a meaning that is complete, that speaks to me of who I am. Things that are still incomprehensible. During the first four days of her illness, the doctor and I were very worried about her, but on the fifth day, the doctor took me aside and told me not to worry, she would be fine.This doctor was the old bachelor I had known earlier, who was a Good old man, and a weird one, the same doctor who surprised Nellie with a huge Stanislav medal around his neck when I called him in for the first time.

"Then there's nothing to worry about!" I said happily. "Yes, she will get well soon, but she will die very soon." "How to die! Why on earth!" I exclaimed, terrified at the verdict. "Yes, she will die very soon. The girl has a congenital heart disease, and at the first sign, at the first sign of trouble, she will lie down again. Maybe then she will be well, but then she will be ill again." down, until you die." "Is there no way to save her? No, it's impossible!" "However, that is certain. However, if all the disadvantages can be removed, and a life of ease and tranquility can be lived, and the mind can be happy, the child may die a little later, and even such a situation will appear... Unexpected of... non

Normal and strange... In a word, her illness may still be curable, but this must be combined with many favorable circumstances to appear, but it is impossible to be completely cured. " "But, my God, what now?" "Follow the doctor's advice, live a peaceful life, and take medicine on time. I found that this girl is very capricious. She will turn on her face whenever she says she wants to, and even be sarcastic. She refuses to take her medicine on time. Just now she categorically refused to take her medicine." "Yes, doctor. She is indeed a little strange, but I think it is due to the stimulation of the disease. She was very obedient yesterday; but when I gave her medicine today, she seemed to accidentally knock over the spoon. The medicine is all spilled. When I want to re-

When I was mixing the medicine, she snatched the whole box of medicine from me, threw it to the ground, and then burst into tears... However, it seems that it was not because of forcing her to take the medicine ,” I thought for a while and added another sentence. "Hmm! Excitement. All the great misfortunes I've had in the past (I've told the doctor with great detail and candor about what happened to Nellie, and he's been surprised by what I've told him), and it all matters, This is where the disease comes from. Now In the only way is to take medicine, she must take medicine.I'm going to try again to enlighten her that she must obey the doctor's orders...to put it generally...that is, she must take medicine. "

The two of us came out of the kitchen (where our conversation took place), and the doctor went to the patient's bedside.But Nellie seemed to hear us: at least, she lifted her head from the pillow, turned her ear to us, and kept paying attention. willing to listen.I noticed this through the half-open door; and as we approached her the little cunning slid under the covers, and looked at us both with a mocking smile.During these four days of illness, the poor child has lost much weight: eyes Eyes collapsed, and the high fever still persisted.Her mischievous look, and the sparkling, challenging eyes, did not match her face, and made it all the more strange, which made the doctor (the best-hearted of all the Germans in Petersburg)

Very surprised. Seriously, but trying to soften his voice as much as possible, he explained why he had to take the medicine and why he would get better after taking it, in a tone that was at once kind and very amiable, so that every patient was very happy. answer When taking medicine, etc.Nellie was about to look up, but suddenly, it seemed, quite inadvertently, her hand touched the spoon, and the whole spoonful was spilled on the floor again.I believe she did it on purpose. "It's not good to be careless like this," the old man said calmly, "but I suspect that you did it on purpose, so I can't praise you. But... everything can be saved, and the medicine can be adjusted again."

Nellie giggled into his face. The doctor shook his head confidently. "This is very bad," he said while readjusting the medicine, "very, very bad." "Please don't be mad at me," Nellie replied, trying not to stop laughing. "I'll take my medicine. . . Do you love me then?" "I will love you very much if you take your medicine properly." "Very?" ① The original text is a loanword (from French). "Very." "Then you don't love now?" "Love now too." "I want to kiss you, will you kiss me?"

"Yes, if you are obedient, I will kiss you." Then Nellie couldn't help laughing again. "The patient's personality is very lively, but now—it's a kind of nervousness and self-willedness," the doctor whispered to me solemnly. "Oh, well, I'll take my medicine," cried Nellie suddenly in a feeble voice, "but when I'm grown up and grown up, will you marry me?" She presumably amused herself at this whimsical mischief; her eyes sparkled and her small lips were full of laughter as she waited for the doctor's answer, not without surprise.

"Yes yes," he answered, smiling at the new wayward thought, "yes yes, if you can be a kind and educated girl, not only obedient, but also . . . "Medication?" Nellie interjected. "Ah! That's right, take the medicine. What a nice girl," he whispered to me again. "There's a lot, a lot... good and clever things about her, but then again... Marry her for Wife... what a weird fantasy..." He made her take medicine again.But this time she wasn't even playing tricks, and she just knocked over the spoon with a flick of her hand, and spilled a whole spoonful of the medicine on the poor old man's bodice and face.Nellie laughed out loud, but she was no longer the simple and cheerful person she used to be. Laughed quickly.A cruel, malevolent expression flitted across her face.During the whole time, she kept her eyes away from me, only looked at the doctor, with a smile on her face, but there was a bit of anxiety in the laughter, she was waiting for this "ridiculous" What is the old man going to do now. "Ah! You are ... how miserable! But ... the medicine can be readjusted," said the old man, taking out his handkerchief to wipe his face and bodice. This surprised Nellie very much.She thought we would get angry, scold her, scold her, and maybe she unconsciously hoped that we would scold her at this time-this would give her an excuse, and she could cry immediately and talk to Hughes. end She wailed like she was having a fit, she could sprinkle the medicine like she did just now, she could even smash pots and bowls when she was angry, so she could use all of these to relieve her wayward heart.This way of doing whatever they want is not only for the patient, but also for the patient. And not only Nellie.I've been in a similar situation a lot, and I've been walking around the house subconsciously hoping that someone would come and pick me up or say something that seemed annoying so I could just find a reason to blow it off.to For women, when they "vent" in this way, they will cry and cry bitterly, and the most sentimental women will even go to the point of hysteria.This matter is very common, and it is the most common. Whenever there is pain in my heart, no one knows This kind of situation often happens when you want to express your pain, but there is no one to talk about. However, Nellie was suddenly shocked by the angelic kindness and patience of the old man she bullied (he patiently mixed up the third tablespoon of medicine for her, and did not say a word of reprimand), and suddenly behaved indifferently. speech.her sarcastic The expression disappeared from her mouth, her face flushed suddenly, and her eye sockets were moist; she glanced at me briefly, then turned her head away immediately.The doctor took the spoon again and asked her to take the medicine.She finished drinking the medicine obediently and timidly, and grabbed the old man The man's red, chubby hands looked slowly into his eyes. "You...are you angry...I'm bad," she said, but before she finished speaking, she got into bed and cried hysterically. "Oh, my boy, don't cry...it's nothing...it's a nervousness; drink some water." But Nellie would not listen. "Don't cry...don't be sad," he continued, almost not crying because of her, because he was also a very emotional person. "I forgive you, I will marry you, if you behave yourself, be honest, and..." "Take medicine!" A series of shrill, silver-bell-like nervous laughter came from under the bed, and her laughter was interrupted by crying from time to time——I am very familiar with this laughter. "What a kind-hearted child who knows what is good and what is bad," said the doctor solemnly, his eyes almost filled with tears. "Poor little girl!" From then on, a wonderful relationship of mutual compassion and love developed between him and Nellie.For me it was just the opposite, Nellie became more and more morose, more neurotic, more and more angry.I don't know why this is because, I feel sorry for her It was very surprising, especially because this change happened so suddenly in her.She was very tender and kind to me at the beginning of her illness; as if she couldn't get enough of me, she wouldn't let me go, grabbed my hand with her hot little hands, and made me sit down. Beside her, if she finds me gloomy and anxious, she tries to make me happy, jokes with me, plays with me, laughs at me, and when she does so, she clearly suppresses the pain in her heart.She won't let me work at night or sit I stayed with her, and when she saw that I didn't listen to her advice, she was very sad.Sometimes I found that she looked preoccupied; she began to question me, asking me why I was unhappy and what I was thinking; but it was strange, only If I mentioned Natasha, she would stop talking immediately, or change the subject to talk about something else.I was surprised by her seeming reluctance to talk about Natasha.As soon as I got home, she was overjoyed.She's not happy when I pick up my top hat , and even looked at me a little strangely, and watched me go out as if blaming me. On the fourth day of her illness, I sat with Natasha all night long and well after midnight.We had a lot to talk about at the time.I said to Nellie, who was sick in bed, when I went out, that I would be back soon, because I thought there would be no long delay. .My presence with Natasha was almost careless, and I was reassured by Nellie; she was not alone.She was accompanied by Alexandra Semyonovna.Masloboyev once came to sit at my house, and she heard Masloboyev say that Nellie was ill, and I So busy and so alone.My God, good Alexandra Semyonovna is busy now: "Then he won't be coming to our house for dinner. . . . Oh, my God! Besides, he's all alone, all alone. Well, now, let's show him how we treat him." How good. Now is the chance, this machine Can you miss it? " She came to us as soon as she spoke, hired a carriage, and brought a large package.As soon as she opened her mouth, she announced that she was not leaving now, and she was staying here with me.She came to help me, so she untied the burden after saying that.The bag contains syrup and fruit for the sick Butter, some young chickens and a hen (for when the patient begins his convalescence), apples for pancakes, grants, and Kyiv compote (for when the doctor allows it), and besides Is underwear, sheets, napkins, women's Shirts, bandages, compresses - as if to furnish a well-appointed dispensary. "We've got everything in our house," she said to me, uttering everything quickly and in a hurry, as if she was going somewhere, "look at the life you're living as a bachelor. .You lack all these things.Let me...Fee Philip Felipech ordered to come and see.Oh, what to do now... Hurry, hurry!What to do now?How is she?Are you sober?Oh, how uncomfortable it is for her to lie there like this, the pillow must be adjusted so that her head is lowered. I said...can't use a leather pillow?Leather pillows cool down.Oh, what a fool I am!I didn't expect to bring one.I'll go back and get it... Do you want to light a fire?I asked an old woman I know to come to you.I know an old lady. You know, you don't even have a maid here...well, what do you do now?what is this?Herbal medicine...prescribed by the doctor?Probably used to decoct the decoction for relieving heat and clearing the lungs?I'm going to start a fire. " But when I told her to stop, she found it odd, even sad, that there wasn't much to do.This didn't completely discourage her, however.She took to Nellie immediately and helped me so much throughout Nellie's illness that she almost Comes to see us every day, and every time I come, it's as if something has been lost or has gone somewhere and must be brought back quickly.And she always added that Philip Felipech ordered the same .Nellie was very fond of her.They loved each other as if they were sisters, and it seemed to me that Alexandra Semyonovna was in many respects as much a child as Nellie was.She told her stories and made her laugh, whenever Alexandra Semyon Novna had gone home, and Nellie missed her.My little patient felt very strange when she first appeared in our house, but she immediately understood the purpose of this unexpected visitor, and she even frowned and became taciturn according to her old habit. He was very unfriendly to her. "What is she doing with us?" Nellie asked sullenly after Alexandra Semyonovna had left. "Helping and serving you, Nellie." "Why? . . . for what? I never did anything for her." "Good people don't do things because someone else did something for them in the past, Nellie. Even if nothing was done for them, they are willing to help people in need. Come, Nellie; there are many good people in the world. This it's your no Xing: You haven't met good people, and you haven't met them when you need help. " Nellie said nothing; I stepped away from her.But after a quarter of an hour, she called me over again with a weak voice. She said she wanted to drink water, but suddenly she hugged me tightly, laying on my chest, and refused to let me go away for a long time. The next day Alexandra Semyonovna came and welcomed her with a cheerful smile, but for some reason seemed a little shy when seeing her.