Chapter 21 Chapter Thirteen (Part 1)

On the last day of 1937, Meggie took the train to Townsville.Even though her holiday had only just begun, she was already feeling better now that she had put Dunloe's molasses stench behind her.North Queensland's largest settlement, Townsville is a thriving town with thousands of residents living in white houses built on piled foundations.Due to the tight connection between the train and the boat, she didn't have time to take a closer look at the city.But in a sense, Meggie didn't feel sorry for rushing to the pier in such a hurry, without time to think.After her dreadful voyage across Tasma that year, she would never have wanted to take a 36-hour voyage in a ship much smaller than the Wahine.

But sailing on turquoise, gently choppy water is different, and she's 26, not 10.The air was between two whirlwinds, and the waves were lazy: although it was only midday, Meggie laid her head down and slept soundly and without dreams until six o'clock the next morning, with a cup of tea and A waiter with a plate of mediocre sweet biscuits woke her up. On the deck, it is a different Australian scenery.There was a soft, dull light in the high clear sky, and a pink, pearly glow rose on the eastern horizon until the sun left the horizon.The light of medicine at the dawn dissipated, and day came.The ship glides soundlessly on the pure water surface, the water surface is translucent, and you can see a few purple reefs underwater, and lively fish swim past.The sea surface in the distance is green and blue, and the dark purple spots are covered with seaweed or coral. No matter from which side, they look like islands covered with palms on the shore and covered with dazzling white sand; like reefs. It is as natural as crystals growing on it--like an island or plain covered with jungle and criss-crossed by mountains.The scrub-covered reef rises slightly above the water.

① One (kouxun) is 1.829 meters. -- Annotation "The flat islands are the true coral islands," explained one general. "If they are ring-shaped or closed into coral lakes, they are called atolls, but if they are only reefs raised above the sea, they are called coral reefs. These small hill-like islands are the tops of the mountains, but they are still surrounded by coral reefs and form out of the atoll." "Where's Matlock Island?" Meggie asked. He looked at her in bewilderment; it was an oxymoron for a woman to vacation alone on a honeymoon island like Paul Matlock. "Now we are sailing to the Whitsunday Pass at the bottom of Westson, and then to the reefs on the edge of the Pacific Ocean. The surf from the deep Pacific hundreds of miles away hits the coast of Matlock Island like a direct express train." , the sound is like thunder, you can't even think about things. Can you imagine what it's like to sail on such waves?" The crew sighed thoughtfully. "We'll be at Matlock Island before sunset, ma'am."

An hour before sunset, the little steamer was wading through the swells coming in and coming back;Trestles on slender stilts protrude from the reef for half a mile, swayed by the low tide.It is no exaggeration to say that those foundation piles were swaying, and behind the trestle bridge was a high and steep coastline, which was not at all full of tropical splendor as Meggie imagined.An old man stood waiting and helped her from the boat to the jetty, and took her box from one of the sailors. "Hello, Mrs. O'Neill," he greeted her. "I'm Rob Walter. I hope your husband eventually gets a chance to visit us too. It's this time of year. There aren't many people on Matlock Island. It's actually a winter retreat."

They walked together along the swaying planks, and the exposed coral sank into the setting sun, into a somewhat frightening sea, whose surface reflected the mottled light of the crimson foam. "It's low tide, or you're going to have a rough trip. See that spray-splash to the east? That's the edge of Great Barrier Reef. Here at Matlock, it's because it's right next to it that it survived. Yes; when the waves crash over there, you will feel that the island is always shaking." He helped her into a car. "It's the windward side of Matlock--it's kind of bleak and deserted, isn't it? But when you get to the leeward side, ah! it's marvelous there."

Along one of Matlock Island's narrow roads, creaking and crushing coral, they flew with a reckless speed that came naturally to the island's only small car.They passed through palm trees and thick undergrowth, and on one side of the road rose a mountain about four miles long across the back of the island. "Oh. So pretty!" said Meggie. They've been on a different road.The road circles the island along the loose sandy shores of the lagoon; the lake is crescent-shaped.The sea is cut off by the dazzling zone on the edge of the lagoon, but the water surface in the embrace of the coral reef is peaceful, calm, just like the sea. Like a bronze-colored, clean silver mirror.

"The main island is four miles wide and three miles long," her guide explained.They passed a patchwork of white houses with deep porches and shop windows. "It's a department store," he said with an air of mastery. "I lived there with the hostess and I can tell she wasn't too happy about a woman arriving alone. Thought I'd be seductive, she'd say so. But let's go with the Tourist Office It would be better for you to live in a place of complete peace and quietness. Put you farther away from where we live, and the mistress will be calmer. There is no one in your place, only a couple The couple lives on the other side and you can play there naked - no one will see you and the hostess won't let me out of her sight while you live there. If you need anything, just grab The phone will do, and I will bring it to you, but I will never go all the way to where you live. Whether the mistress likes it or not, I will visit you once a day at sundown, just to see if you All is well. You'd better stay in the house at that hour--dress appropriately, in case the mistress should come on horseback."

This small villa is a three-room house on one floor, occupying a white sandy beach by itself.The road ends at the beach, where two mountain peaks jut out abruptly into the sea.The interior of the house is very plain, but comfortable.The island generates its own electricity, so there is a small refrigerator, electric lights, the telephone the owner had promised, and even a radio.The toilets were flush and there was fresh water in the bathrooms; more comfortable and practical modern equipment than Drogheda and Black Millhawk, thought Meggie, amused.It was evident at a glance that the majority of the patrons were from Sydney or Melbourne, and were too accustomed to civilized life to live without these things.

As Rob hurried back to the suspicious hostess, Meggie was left alone; she did not unpack.Check out her territory first.The double bed was far more comfortable than the couch she had slept on on her wedding night.On the other hand, it's a real honeymoon paradise, and the one thing customers want is a decent bed; the customers at Dunney's are usually very drunk and have a problem with bumpy springs. Just don't care.The refrigerator and the overhead pantry were overcrowded, and on the counter were large baskets of bananas, tomatoes, pineapples, and mangoes.She had no reason to eat or sleep well.

For the first week Meggie seemed to have nothing to do but eat and sleep.She did not realize how tired she was, nor that it was the Dunloe weather that had spoiled her appetite.In that comfortable bed, she fell asleep as soon as she lay down, stretched out, and slept for 10 to 12 hours at a time.The food hadn't been this tempting since leaving Drogheda, and honestly, it was the perfect place to eat mangoes other than the bathtub, which were dripping with juice.Since her small beach is within the lagoon, the sea is as quiet as a mirror, calm and very shallow.She likes it all.Swimming she couldn't do for a while, but in water so salty that the sea seemed to be able to float her, she began to experiment; she was ecstatic when she could float for ten seconds at a time.The thought of being free from the pull of the ground made her long to come and go like a fish.

So if she's depressed because she doesn't have a partner, it's because she wants to beg someone to teach her how to swim.Apart from that, it was wonderful that she was alone.Annie is so right!All her life, there were always people in the house.And no one in the house is so pleasing and absolutely peaceful.She wasn't lonely at all, Ma didn't miss Anne and Ludy, or Justine and Luke, and for the first time in three years, she didn't miss Drogheda.Old Rob never disturbed her seclusion, just creaked down the road every day at sunset to where she could see her friendly waving from the verandah, made sure she was in no sign of trouble, and then Turn the car around and drive away leisurely.His astonishingly beautiful mistress rode ominously, gun slung.Once, he called her and said that he was going to take the couple living here out to sea in his fiberglass-bottomed boat. Would she like to go with her? Looking at the various, exquisite, beautiful, brittle and fragile world below through the fiberglass, it is like buying a ticket to enter a refreshing and strange planet.The refreshing and welcoming waters are home to all kinds of exquisite and graceful creatures.She found that the colors of living coral were not as vibrant as the ones displayed as gift items on store counters.They are pale pink, beige, and blue-gray, with a wonderful iridescence flickering around each bulb and branch like a clear glow, fringe fringe of a 12-inch wide anemone blue, red, orange, or purple tentacles; and white sea crickets, the size of rocks, brought back to the trough to amuse the unwary observer.Dimly peeping through their hairy lips at the richly colored, restless things inside it, anxiously; The belt dances loosely and gracefully.None of the four in the boat were surprised to see a mermaid: its smooth chest shimmered, its curling, shiny tail hung loose and drooping in a flowery Dazzling hair, with a moving smile mockingly issued spells to the voyagers that fascinated people.But there are fish too!They are like living shining gems, swimming by thousands at a fast speed.The round ones are like Chinese lanterns, and the slender ones are like bullets. They are covered with colorful scales, shining brightly; The silver-blue scales look cold, and some dazzling cracked scales are more dazzling than the color of the parrot's skin.There are needlefish with needle-like noses, saddle fish with flat noses, and barracudas with sharp teeth.A spongy red fish was half hidden in the cave; at one point, a smooth, gray baby shark swam soundlessly below them, as if frozen in place. . ①In Greek mythology, the half-human, half-bird siren, the siren, often seduces passing sailors with beautiful songs, causing them to stray on the rocks and die.Later, it was said that this sea monster was a mermaid. -- Annotation "Don't worry, though," Rob said. "We're too far south here to have blue jellyfish and if there's anything that's going to kill you in this reef area it's most likely a small rockfish. Don't go on a reef without shoes on Walk." Yes, Meggie was glad she was going to sea, but she had no desire to go again, nor did she want to make friends with the couple from Lombra.She is submerged under the sea, walking in the sun, lying down.It was so odd that she didn't even want to look for a book to read because there always seemed to be something interesting to read. She had taken Rob's advice and stopped wearing clothes.At first, when a twig snapped, or a coconut fell from a tree like a bullet, she flew and covered herself like a rabbit smelling a wild dog on the breeze. last piece.But after a few blissful solitudes, she began to really feel that no one was going to be near her.Indeed, as Rob said, this place is completely secluded and isolated, and shyness is unnecessary.Walking on paths, lying in the sand, wading in warm, salty water; she began to feel like a wild animal born in a cage, suddenly released into a soft, sunny, expansive and cheerful place. Away from Fee, from her brother, from Luke, from the harsh realities that ruled her whole life, Meggie found a pure leisure; idea.For the first time in her life, she was not mentally disturbed by this or that job, and she was surprised to find that the body is always busy is the best response to the full mental activity of human beings. effective hindrance. Father Ralph asked her what she was thinking a few years ago, and she replied, "Daddy, Mama, Bob, Jack, Hughie, Stu, the little brothers, Frank, Drogheda, the house, the work and the rain She didn't talk about him. But, in her mind, he was always at the top of the list. Now, justine, Luke, Ludy, Annie, sugarcane, homesickness, rain. Of course , she later discovered that eternal comfort was in books. But these things just floated up and disappeared in her mind in an intertwined, unconnected mess; she had no chance, nor This kind of training enables her to sit down quietly and think about who she is, Meggie Cleary, Meggie O'Neill? What does she want to be? What does she think she was born into this world for? Sorrows over the lack of scientist training, because there is no time to correct herself, which is all due to negligence. But here is time, there is peace, health, idleness, no worries; she can lie on the beach and try to think clicked. Oh Ralph.A wry smile of despair.It wasn't a good start, but, in a way, Ralph was like God; everything was with him.Ralph had existed since the evening when he crouched in the dusty Gilly station square and took her in his arms, though she would never see him again in her lifetime; , she seemed likely to be thinking of him, how terrible, that one person can mean so many things, have such significance. What had she said to Anne?Her wants and needs were quite ordinary—a husband, children, a home of her own, someone to love.These demands do not seem too much, after all, most women have these.But how many women are really content to get these?Meggie thought she would, because it was so hard for her to get. Admit it, Meggie Cleary.Meggie O'Neill.The man you want is Ralph de Bricassart, and you just can't get him.Yet, as a man, he seems to destroy you for another.Well, well.If it is not possible to love a man and such a thing, then you have to love children, and the love you receive has to come from those children.That said, it's time to love Luke and Luke's kids. O merciful God, merciful God!No, unmerciful God!What has God done for me but take Ralph from me?God and me, we dislike each other.And don't you understand something, God?You didn't frighten me, as in the past.But how I fear you, and your punishment!All my life I have walked a straight and narrow path in fear of you.But what has God brought me?Not a whit, though I abide by every commandment in your book. You are a liar, God, a god to be feared.But you can't scare me anymore.Because it's not Ralph I should hate, it's you.It's all your fault, not poor Ralph's.He just lives in fear of you, just like I used to.I don't understand how he can love you.I don't see what you have to love. Yet how can I stop my love in a man who loves God?No matter how hard we try, I just can't seem to not love him.He is a bright moon, and I am shedding tears for him.Oh, Meggie O'Neill, you mustn't weep over the moon, that's what it is.You have to be content with Luke and Luke's kids.You're going to get Luke to give up that damn sugar cane and live with him in a place where there are no trees.You shall tell the manager of the Kiri Bank that the proceeds of your death shall be in your own name, and that you shall use them to obtain the comforts and conveniences which Luke does not intend to provide you in that woodless home.You're going to use it to get Luke's kids a proper education and make sure they never run out of money. Which means that's all there is to it, Meggie O'Neal.I'm Meggie O'Neill, not Meggie de Brixatri, which sounds weird even.I'd rather be Meghan de Bricassart, even that sounds weird.I'd rather be Meghan de Bricassarte, the name I've always hated.Oh, do I regret those kids who aren't Ralph?That's the problem, isn't it?Say it to yourself over and over again: Your life is your own, Meggie O'Neill, and you will not live in the dream of a man and a child you will never have. Hello!Just tell yourself that!It is no use remembering what is past, what must be buried.That's what the future is, the future belongs to Luke and Luke's children.It does not belong to Ralph de Brixarte.He belongs to the past. Meggie rolled over on the sand and wept like she hadn't since she was three: wailing, and only crabs and birds listened to her mournful wailing. Anne Muller had chosen Matlock Island on purpose, intending to send Luke there when she could.While Meggie was still on the road, she sent Luke a telegram saying that Meggie needed him badly and asked him to come back.She didn't intend, by nature, to interfere with other people's lives, but she loved Meggie, pitied Meggie, doted on that thorny, capricious little thing Meggie had borne by Luke's father.Justine had to have a home, to have parents.It's sad to see she's going to leave, but it's better than the current situation. Two days later, Luke came.He'd dropped by on his way to the Colonial Sugar Company in Sydney, so there wasn't much time for the detour.It was time for him to see the child; if it had been a boy, he would have had it as soon as it was born; but the news that it was a girl had come to him, and he felt terrible.If Meggie insisted on having a baby, at least until the day she bought Kinnan's ranch.Girls are useless at all, they can only make a man poor.When they were grown up they were going to work for somebody else instead of helping his old father in his old age like a boy. "How is Meg?" he asked, as he walked down the front porch. "I hope she's okay?" "You hope. No, there's nothing wrong with her. I'll tell you in a moment. But first, look at your beautiful daughter." He stared down at the baby, giggling, amused, but unmoved, Anne thought. "Her eyes are queer, I have never seen eyes like them," he said. "I don't know who they look like?" "Meggie said unlike anyone in her family that she knew." "Not like me either. The cute little thing, she's a throwback. She doesn't look too happy, does she?" "How can she look happy?" she said angrily, trying to suppress her anger. "She didn't meet her father, she didn't have a decent home. If you keep doing this, it won't be possible until she grows up." "I'm saving money, Anne!" he protested, "Bullshit! I know how much money you've got. My friends in Vortexburg used to send me the local papers and I've seen some ads that there are much closer and richer properties down south than Kinanna .It's a recession, Luke! You can buy a really nice piece of land for a lot less than you have in the bank, you know that." "Whatever it is! The depression is going on now. Besides, this part of the west from Jonny to Ed is amazingly dry. It's the second year of the drought, and it's still not raining at all, not a drop. I'll bet right off the bat that Drogheda is suffering from drought, so. What do you think of the drought around Winton and Black Oak? No, I guess I should wait." "Wait until the price of land rises in the season of good weather? Forget it, Luke! Now is the time to buy land! Plus Meggie can guarantee an annual income of 2,000 pounds, and you can wait for a ten-year drought." Go on! Just don't put grass on the ground. Live on Meggie's 2,000 pounds and wait till the rain comes and then put your grass on." "I'm not ready to leave the cane yet." He said stubbornly, still looking at his daughter's strange eyes. "Finally tell the truth, eh? Why would you admit it, Luke? You don't want to get married, but you'd rather live the way you're doing, suffer, hang out with men, and work till your guts out , like every Australian man I know! What the hell is going on with this messed up country? Are men with wives and kids who would rather live with other men? If what they really need is a bachelor's Life, then why would they marry? Do you know how many abandoned wives in Denny's living alone in a dime and halves, trying to bring up their fatherless children as best they can? Oh, he's only in the cane field, he'll be back, you know, it's only a short time. Ha! Every time the mail comes, they're standing at the front door, waiting for the mail, Hoping that the bastard would give them a little money. Most of the time he didn't, and sometimes he sent some--not enough, but something to keep life going!" She was trembling with rage, and there was a twinkle in her mild brown eyes. "Did you know? I read in the Bujaspan Post that Australia has the highest percentage of abandoned wives in the civilized world. It's something we have above any other country - it's not a record to be proud of !" "Be quiet, Anne! I haven't deserted Meg; she's safe, and she's not hungry. What's the matter with you?" "I'm disgusted by the way you've treated your wife. That's it! For God's sake, Luke, mature and take your responsibilities for a while! You've got a wife and kids! You should Make a home for them--be a husband and a father, not a damned stranger!" "Yes, yes! But not yet; I'll have to go on working in sugarcane days for two or three years, that's for sure. I don't want to say I'm going to be supported by Meg, and that's all I'll do until things get better." Things to do." Annie shrugged contemptuously. "Hmph, be bullish! You married her for her money, didn't you?" His brown face was flushed purple.He didn't want to look at her. "I admit that money can get things done, but I got her because I like her more than anyone else." "You like her! Do you love her then?" "Love! What is love? There's no such thing as anything but a woman's imagination, that's all." He turned away from the crib and those unpredictable eyes.He wasn't sure that someone with eyes like that wouldn't understand what he just said. "If that's pretty much what you've told me, where is Meg?" "She's not well, and I sent her out for a while. Oh, don't panic! Your money wasn't used. I wish I could persuade you to meet her. But I see, it's impossible." "It can't be done. Arne and I are on our way to Sydney tonight." "What did I say to Meggie when she came back?" He shrugged his shoulders, eager to leave quickly. "I can't help it. Oh, tell her to wait a little longer. Now, she's a step ahead in family matters, and it's easy to say if it's a son." Anne leaned against the wall for support, leaned over the wicker cradle, picked up the baby, then managed to get to the edge of the bed and sat down.Luke didn't move to help her, or take the child; he looked as if he was afraid of his daughter. "Go, Luke! Don't throw away what you've got. I don't feel good looking at you. Go back to damned Arne, damned cane, and dead work!" He paused at the door. "What did she call the baby? I forgot her name." "Justine, Justine, Justine!" "Boring name," he said, and off he went. Annie put Justine on the bed.The old tears, except for Lu Di.All men are damned, they are damned!Was it only the tender, sentimental, seemingly feminine nature of Rudy that made her love?Is Luke right?Is this just a figment of a woman's imagination?Or is it some kind of emotion that only women can experience, or is it that women are insignificant to men?No woman could hold Luke back, no woman had ever been able to.What he needs, a woman cannot give him. But the next day, she calmed down and no longer felt that she was futile.There was a postcard from Meggie that morning, saying she was growing enthusiastic about Matlock Island, and how well she was doing.There are some comforting things to be seen in the letter.Meggie felt better.When the rainy season starts to improve, she will come back and be able to face her life.Annie, however, was determined not to tell her about Luke. While Anne waddled out between her teeth with a small basket filled with the child's necessities - clean diapers, powder compacts and toys - Nancy - short for Annunziata - - and carried Justine to the front porch.Sitting in a wicker chair, she took the baby from Nancy and began feeding her from Nancy's warmed Lectogen bottle.It's a good mood.Life is very happy.She had done her best to make sense to Luke, and if she failed, it would at least mean that Meggie and Justine would stay at Black Millhawk for a while longer.She had no doubt that Meggie would eventually realize that it was hopeless to salvage her relationship with Luke, and return to Drogheda.However, Anne dreaded this day. A red British racing car roared down the road to Denny, up the long, steep drive.It was a new and expensive car, with a leather holster over its body, silver tailpipes and bright red paintwork gleaming.For a while she did not recognize the man who jumped from the low workshop, for he was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts in Queenslander clothes.God, how handsome this is!she thought, eyeing him appreciatively.When he stepped up two steps at a time, she vaguely remembered something.I hope that Lu Di won't eat so much, he may be somewhat similar to this young man.Now, he doesn't look like a kid anymore--look at his marvelous frost-stained temples--but I've never seen a sugarcane worker when the work was so tight. When those quiet, cold eyes looked into hers, she knew who he was. "My God!" she said, dropping the baby's bottle to the floor. He picked up the bottle, handed it to her, and then leaned against the railing in the corridor, facing her: "It's okay. The pacifier didn't touch the ground, you can continue to feed her." The child began to tremble just at the loss of that essential, and Annie shoved the pacifier into her mouth before recovering to speak, "Oh, my lord, what a surprise!" Her eyes went up and down. He was amused. "I must say, you don't look much like an archbishop. You didn't look much like one before, even with the right clothes on. It always seemed to me that an archbishop of whatever denomination must be fat, proud again." "Right now, I'm not an archbishop, just a priest on vacation, so. You can call me Ralph. Was this little guy that got Meggie in so much trouble the last time I was here? I could Hug her? I think I can manage to hold this bottle at the right angle." He settled into a chair next to Annie, took the baby and the bottle, and continued to feed her, his legs crossed casually. "Did Meggie name her Justine?" "yes." "I like that name. Grandpa, look at the color of her hair! Exactly like his grandfather's hair." "That's what Meggie said. I hope the poor little thing won't be freckled all over her face, but I think she will be." "Well, Meggie is one of those redheads, but she doesn't have freckles, though Meggie's skin tone and texture are different, darker." He put down the empty bottle and let the child sit upright on his lap , facing him, let her bend down to salute, and began to stroke her back vigorously and rhythmically. "When I was on a mission, I sometimes had to visit Catholic orphanages, so I had some practical interactions with the children. The Sister Fengsa of the orphanage I liked said that this is the aftermath of touching the baby. The only way to make him hiccup. Put the baby on the shoulders, the baby's body cannot bend forward enough, the hiccups will not come out so easily, and often a lot of milk will come out when hiccupping, so that the baby This kind of bending in the middle can suppress the milk and allow the gas to come out." As if to confirm his point, Justine hiccupped a lot, but the food in her stomach didn't come out.He laughed and stroked again, and when there was no more movement, he hugged her comfortably in his arms. "What unbelievably strange eyes! Extremely touching, isn't it? Meggie has indeed given birth to a very ordinary doll." "That won't help. But what kind of father will you be, Father?" "I love babies and children, always have. Appreciating them is easier for me because I don't have to deal with the unpleasant responsibilities of fathers." "No, it's because you're like Rudy. There's something feminine about you." Apparently, the usually withdrawn Justine returned his caresses, and she had fallen asleep.Ralph made her lie down more comfortably, and from his shorts pocket drew a pack of Open Bursteins. "Hey, give me the cigarette and I'll light it for you." "Where's Meggie?" he asked, taking a lighted cigarette from her. "Thank you. Excuse me, please get yourself one." "She's not here. She's never been as bad as she was with Justine, and it seems like the rainy season finally broke her down. So Ludy and I sent her away for two months. She'll be back about early March; seven weeks to go." While Anne was speaking, she had noticed the change in his countenance; it seemed as if all his plans and hopes of some special pleasure had suddenly vanished into thin air. He took a deep breath. "This is the second time I've said goodbye without finding her...once when I went to Athens and now again. Then, I was away for a year, and that time I was supposed to be there longer. Since Pasar I never went to Drogheda after Dee and Stu died. But when it was time to go, I found I couldn't leave Australia without seeing Meggie. But she was married and gone. I wanted to go after her , but I know it doesn't make sense to her or Luke. I'm here because I know I won't hurt anyone." "Where are you going?" "去罗马，去梵蒂冈。迪·康提尼-弗契斯红衣主教已经接替了不久前去世的蒙泰坎迪红衣主教的职位。我早就知道他要召我去的。这是一个很大的荣幸，而且还不止这样。我无法拒绝前去。" "你要离开多久？" "哦，我想，很久。在欧洲，仗打得很激烈，尽管战争似乎离这里很远。罗马教廷需要召回它所拥有的每一个外交家，感谢迪·康提尼-弗契斯红衣主教，我被归入了外交家之列。墨索里尼和希特勒结成了紧密的同盟，他们是一丘之貉。不知为什么，梵蒂冈却不得不把大主教和法西斯主义这两种完全对产的意识形态调和起来。这不是轻而易举能办到的。我的德语讲得很好。在雅典的时候，我学会了希腊语，在罗马的时候，学会了意大利语。我还能流利地讲法语和西班牙语。"他叹了一口气。"我一直有一种语言的天才，并且精心地修炼这种才能。我的调动是势在必然的。" "嗯，大人，除非你明大就启程，不然你还是可以见到梅吉。" 安妮还没来得及往下想想，话已经嘣出来了。在他离开之前为什么梅吉不能见他一面呢？尤其是在他行将离去很长时间的时候--他似乎是这样认为的。 他的头转向了她。那双漂亮而冷漠的蓝眼睛显得十分聪慧，要愚弄他是难上难。哦，是的，他是个天生的外交家！他对她说的话，以及她思想深处想到的每一条理由都非常明白。她屏住呼吸，渴望听到他的回答。可是，有很久他一言不发，只是坐在那里，盯着外面那绿莹莹的蔗田，蔗田一直延伸到涨满了水的河边。他忘记了睡在他臂弯里的孩子，他入迷地盯着他的侧影--那眼睑的曲线、平直的鼻子，守口如瓶的嘴，意志坚定的下巴。在他漩望着这片景色的时候，他心中有哪些力量正在你争我斗？爱情、愿望、责任、权术、意志力、渴望，怎样进行复杂的平衡？他正在头脑中进行权衡，哪种力量和哪种力量在进行抗争呢？他的手把香烟举到了唇边；安妮看见他的手指的颤抖，她大声地吁了一口气。那么，他并不是个冷漠的人。 大约有十分钟，他什么也没说。安妮又给他点了一支开波斯坦牌纸烟，递给他。换下了那个已经燃完的烟蒂。他又沉着地抽了起来，他的凝视一次也没有离开远山和大空低压的雨季的云层。 "她在哪儿？"随后。他以一种完全平平常常的声音问道，在把第一个烟蒂从前廊的栏杆上扔出去之后，又把第二个烟蒂扔了去。 这回轮到她考虑了。他的决定就看她是如何回答了。一个人把另外一个人推上这样的方向，这方向将导致这个人不知道自己处于何种位置，或要得到什么--这样做对吗？她完全忠实于梅吉；老实讲，这个男人发生什么事，她是丝毫也不关心的。从他的情况看来，一点儿也不比卢克强。在干完那种男人的事以后抬腿就走了，没有时间，也根本没有打算把一个女人放在心上。他们使女人无休无止地流连于某种梦想，也许这种梦想只存在于糊涂人的头脑之中。郁闷的、充满糖蜜味的空气中除了炼糖场冒出的烟在飘动之外，眼空无物。但是他想要的正是这个，他愿意在追求这种虚空之中消耗自己和生活。 不管梅吉对他来说意味着什么，但他并没有失去敏锐的辨别力。安妮开始相信，除了他那古怪的理想之外，他对梅吉的爱是胜过一切的；但那使是为了她，拉尔夫也不愿危及他升迁的机会，这机会能使他有朝一日把他想要得到的东西抓到手。不，即使为了她，他也不能放弃这个机会。因此，假若她回答说，梅吉在某个人们熙来攘往的旅馆，在那里他有可能被认出来，他是不会去的。谁也没他清楚，他不是那种混在人群里可以不起眼的人。她舔了舔嘴唇。开口说道： "梅吉在麦特劳克岛的一个小别墅里。" "在什么地方？" "麦特劳克岛。那是靠近降灵节航道的一个疗养胜地，那里是为隐居独处而特别设计的。此外，每年的这个时候，那儿几乎没有一个人。"她忍不住补充了一句，"别担心，没有人会看到你的。" "多让人放心呀，"他非常轻地将那睡着的孩子从怀里移了出来，递给安妮。"谢谢你，"他说道，向台阶走去，随后，他又转过身来，眼里闪着哀婉动人的光。"你错了，"他说道。"我只是想看看她，除此这外就没有别的。任何可能危及梅吉，使她的灵魂不道德的事，我是决不会干的。" "或者使你自己灵魂变得不道德，对吗？那么，你最好象卢克·奥尼尔那样吧；他巴不得这样做呢。这样做你肯定不会使梅吉或你本人出乖露丑的。" "要是卢先突然出现该怎么办呢？" "没有那种机会。他已经到悉尼去了，3月以前是不会回来的。他能够知道梅吉在麦特劳克岛的唯一途径就是我，而我是不会告诉他的，大人。" "梅吉盼着卢克去吗？" 安妮苦笑了一下。"哦，亲爱的，不。" "我不会伤害她的。"他坚持说道。"我只是想去看望她一会儿，就是这样。" "我完全明白，大人。但事实依然是，如果你想得到更多的话，那反倒会使她少受许多伤害，