Chapter 4 Chapter Four

In the blink of an eye, it was the New Year's holiday, and this period of time passed quickly. I was still inspired by the conversation with Alyssa last time, and my belief did not waver for a moment.According to the plan in my heart, I wrote a long letter to her every Sunday; on other days of the week, I avoided my classmates and almost only socialized with Abel. I made a lot of marks for her on the Internet, and decided what I should be interested in based on the interests she might have.She often writes back to me, but the content of the letter still makes me uneasy. It can be seen that she pays close attention to me, mainly to encourage me to study, and this is out of the impulse of thought.In my opinion, evaluation, discussion, and criticism are nothing more than a way of expressing thoughts, but she uses all these to cover up her thoughts; sometimes I even suspect that she treats it as a game...whatever it is !I made up my mind not to complain at all, and I did not reveal my uneasiness in the letter.

At the end of December, Abel and I set off again for Le Havre. When I got off the train, I went straight to Aunt Plantier's, but unfortunately she was not there.No sooner had I been settled in my room, however, than a servant came to announce that she was waiting for me in the drawing-room. My aunt asked a few words about my health, living and studying, and then, driven by family affection and curiosity, asked regardless: "You haven't told me yet, son, were you satisfied during the time you lived in Fengsmar last time? Did your affairs make some progress?" My aunt is straightforward and clumsy, so I have to bear it; however, I find it a bit abrupt to talk about our feelings in the purest and most tender language, let alone treat it so simply; however, her tone of voice is so straightforward, so Darling, I'd be foolish to be annoyed.However, at the beginning I still had a reaction:

"Didn't you tell me in the spring that the engagement was too early?" "Yes, I know; that's what everyone said at the beginning." She took my hand, squeezed it affectionately, and said, "I know, you have to go to school, you have to serve in the army, and you can't get married for several years. Besides Well, I'm personally not a big fan of procrastinating after an engagement; it's annoying to girls...but sometimes it's touching...and also, engagements don't have to be formal...just let People understand—well! Of course don't make it public—make people understand, don't find them any more. Besides, you can correspond and keep in touch when you are engaged; It may happen," she hinted with an appropriate smile, "then you can tell the other party tactfully... No, don't bother. You know, someone has come to propose to Juliet! This winter, she Very attractive. She is still a little young, and she replied in the same way; however, the young man expressed his willingness to wait; _To be precise, he is not young anymore... But it is always a good friend, He's a reliable man. You'll see him tomorrow: he's coming to see my Christmas tree. Tell me what impression you get when you see him."

"I'm afraid he's wasting his time in vain, aunt, Juliet has someone else in mind," I said, trying not to say Abel's name at once. "Oh?" The aunt pouted suspiciously, tilted her head to one side, and questioned: "I'm really surprised what you said, why didn't she say anything to me?" I bit my lip so as not to say too much. "Hmph! I'll know when the time comes...Juliet is not feeling well these days... Besides, it's not about her now...Ah! Alyssa is also very cute...Anyway, yes or no, have you asked She confessed?" The word "confession" disgusts me from the bottom of my heart, and I find it terribly rude, but since I have raised this question head-on, and I don't know how to lie, I can only answer vaguely:

"Confession." I immediately felt fever on my face. "Then what did she say?" I lowered my head, really unwilling to answer, but being helpless, I answered more vaguely: "She refuses to be engaged." "Well, little girl, she did the right thing!" said the aunt loudly. "It's been a long time for you, of course..." "Oh! Auntie, don't talk about it." I said, but I couldn't stop it. "Actually, I'm not surprised that she did this. I've always felt that your cousin is more sensible than you..." I don’t know what happened to me at the time, but it was undoubtedly because of the nervousness caused by such interrogation. I suddenly felt heartbroken, and like a child, I put my forehead on the knees of my kind aunt and cried bitterly:

"Auntie, no, you don't understand," I said aloud. "She didn't ask me to wait..." "What! She's rejecting you!" she said, her tone full of compassion, very softly, while wrapping her hands around my head. "Neither...no, not quite." She shook her head sadly: "Are you worried that she doesn't love you?" "Oh! no, that's not what worries me." "My poor child, if you want me to understand, you must be a little clearer." I am ashamed and remorseful that I should not have appeared so weak-willed.Of course my aunt couldn't figure out why I was so vague.However, if there is any definite motive hidden behind Alyssa's refusal, then my aunt may be able to help me find out if she asks slowly.She was quick to offer:

"Listen," she went on, "Alyssa's coming to help me put up the Christmas tree tomorrow morning; I'll find out what's going on in no time, and I'll tell you at lunchtime. I'm sure you'll understand There is nothing to be alarmed about.” I went to the Bucklands for dinner.Juliet had indeed been ill for a few days, and it seemed to me that her appearance had changed; her eyes had a somewhat fierce, almost grim expression, and were more different from her sister than ever.Neither of them and I had a chance to talk alone that night.Moreover, I had no such desire; my uncle seemed tired again, so I took my leave shortly after dinner.

The Christmas tree arranged by Aunt Plantier attracts a large group of children and relatives and friends every year.The Christmas tree stands in the foyer facing the landing, which is connected to the front hall, a living room, and a glass-doored winter greenhouse with a dining table.The Christmas tree is not yet decorated.On Christmas morning, the day after I arrived, Alyssa showed up early, as my aunt had said, to help hang ornaments, lights, fruit, candy, and toys on the tree.I'd be more than happy to be busy with her, but I had to leave my aunt to talk to her alone, so I went out without seeing her, and savored my uneasiness all morning.

I went first to Uncle Buclin's to see Juliet; but hearing that Abel had come a step ahead of me and was by her side, I withdrew at once so as not to interrupt a crucial conversation.I wandered the quays and the streets, and did not return until lunch time. "Stupid boy!" cried my aunt, when she saw me come back, "how can I spoil my life like this! Nothing you said to me this morning made sense. . . . I beat around the bush, and simply dismissed Miss Ashbuton, who worked so hard to help us, and when it was just Alyssa and I, I asked her directly why she was not engaged this summer. You probably thought she would be embarrassed to ask?— She answered me very calmly, without appearing at all flustered, that she would not marry before her sister, as she would have answered you if you had asked me straight to the point. Bring on your own troubles, don't you? See, my boy, there's nothing like telling the truth... Poor Alyssa, who also told me about her father, and said she couldn't leave it alone... Well! We talked A lot. This girl is very sensible. She also told me that she is not sure that she is the right girl for you. I am afraid she is too old. I hope you can find someone of Juliet's age..."

My aunt continued talking, but I had already stopped listening.Only one circumstance mattered to me: Alyssa's refusal to marry before her sister. --Hey!Isn't there still Abel!This pretentious guy, what he said really made sense: kill two birds with one stone, solve two marriages at the same time... As soon as the matter was revealed, it was so simple. I was very excited when I heard it, but I tried to hide it as much as possible, only revealing a kind of joy that seemed very natural to her, and what made her happy was that this joy seemed to be given by her.Just after lunch, I can't remember what excuse I made, and I left her again and went to Abel.

"Hmph! What did I tell you!" he exclaimed, embracing me, as soon as he heard of my joy. "My boy, I can already announce to you that my conversation with Juliet this morning was almost decisive, although we talked almost exclusively of you. She looked a little tired and restless, however. . . She is too excited, and she is afraid that talking too long will make her too excited. With the situation you told me, this thing will be done! My brother, I am rushing to my cane and hat, you have to stay with me I went to the Buclin's house, so as to keep me from flying on the way: I feel lighter than Orion... When Juliet learns that it is only because of her that she refuses to say yes to you, when I propose marriage at once ...Ah! My friend, I have seen my father; tonight, standing in front of the Christmas tree, praising God, weeping tears of happiness, and extending his hands in blessing on the heads of two kneeling unmarried couples. Ash Mademoiselle Bouton will be a sigh, Aunt Plantier will be a tear, and the Christmas tree will sing to the glory of God and clap like the mountains in the Bible." ①Ophrion: The son of Achilles in Greek mythology, with wings. Only when it is getting dark can the lights on the Christmas tree be lit, and children and relatives and friends reunite around the Christmas tree.After I parted from Abel, I had nothing to do, but I felt bewildered and restless. In order to pass the time of waiting, I ran to the cliff of Saint-Arès, lost my way, and waited for me to return to Plantiers. At my aunt's house, the festivities have already started for a while. As soon as I entered the hall, I saw Alyssa: she seemed to be waiting for me, and came up to me when she saw me.She wore a light-coloured blouse with an open collar, and around her neck was a small old-fashioned amethyst crucifix which belonged to my mother and which I had given her as a souvenir, but which she had never seen wear.Her face was tired and miserable, and it made me sick to see her. "Why did you come back so late?" She said in a depressed tone. "I was going to talk to you." "I got lost on the cliff... Why, you're not feeling well... Oh! Alyssa, what's the matter?" She stood in front of me, her lips trembling, unable to speak for a moment.I was so terrified that I didn't dare to ask her.She put her hand on my neck, as if she wanted to draw my face closer, and she wanted to talk to me; but unfortunately, a few guests came in at this time, she couldn't help being discouraged, and her hand dropped again... "It's too late," she murmured.Then, seeing my eyes welling up with tears, she answered my questioning gaze with this coaxing explanation, as if that was enough to calm me down: "No... don't worry: I'm just having a headache, these kids are so loud... I have to hide here... Now, it's time for me to get back to them." After that, she left suddenly.Someone came in again and separated me from her.I was going to look for her in the living room, but I saw her at the other end, leading a group of children around to play games.Between me and her, I recognized several people, and I had to be entangled with them to get over, and I felt like I couldn't do it after the chatter. When I passed the big glass door of the conservatory, I suddenly felt someone grab my arm.It was Juliet, half hidden in the doorway, covered by a curtain. "Let's go to the conservatory," she said hastily, "I have to talk to you. You go where you are, and I'll meet you there." Then she half-opened the door, paused for a moment, and slipped into the conservatory. What's the matter?I would have liked to meet Abel again.What did he say?What did you do? ... I went back to the foyer to have a look, then went into the conservatory, and saw Juliet waiting for me. Juliet's face was flushed, her brows were furrowed, and her eyes showed a cold and painful expression. Her eyes were shining brightly, as if she had a high fever, and her voice seemed to become stiff and tense.She looked so excited, and so beautiful, that despite my preoccupation I was surprised, even a little embarrassed, to see her so beautiful.There were only two of us in the room. "Has Alyssa talked to you?" she asked me at once. "I didn't say a few words. I came back too late." "Did you know you wanted me to get married first?" "understood." She looked at me intently: "Then do you know who she asked me to marry?" I froze there without answering. "Marry you!" she cried. "It's just ridiculous!" "Isn't it!" Her tone contained both despair and complacency.She straightened herself up, or rather, leaned back her entire body... "I know what to do in the future." She added vaguely, then opened the door of the greenhouse, and closed the door firmly as soon as she went out. In my head and heart, everything was shaken.I feel blood hitting my temples.In the extreme panic, there was only one thought: to find Abel, maybe he could explain to me why the sisters spoke so strangely... But I dared not go back to the living room, for fear that I was so flustered that anyone could tell.So I went outside.The chill in the garden calmed me down.I stayed in the garden for a while, the night fell, the sea fog covered the city, the trees were bare, the earth and the sky looked infinitely bleak... At this time, the singing sounded, it must be the chorus of the children around the Christmas tree.I walked into the foyer and saw the guest.The doors of the hall and the antechamber were all open; the drawing-room was empty except for my aunt, half hidden behind the piano, talking to Juliet; all the guests crowded around the Christmas tree in the antechamber.After the children sang the hymns, all were silent, and Pastor Vautier, standing in front of the Christmas tree, began to preach.He never misses an opportunity to do what he calls "sowing good seed."The light and the heat made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to go outside, when I suddenly saw Abel standing by the door; he had probably been there for some time.He looked at me with hostility, and when our eyes met he shrugged.I walk over to him. "Fool!" he whispered; and then, suddenly, "Hey! Come on! Let's go out, I'm tired of hearing this preaching!" As soon as we were out, he saw that I didn't speak, but just looked at me anxiously. He said again: "Stupid! Actually, she loves you, stupid! Couldn't you have told me earlier?" I was stunned and couldn't believe it. "Impossible, right! You can't even detect her feelings on your own!" He grabbed my arm and shook it violently.He gritted his teeth and spoke with a biting trill. "Abel, please," I let him drag along in strides, and after a while I said nothing, and finally said in a trembling voice: "Don't get so angry, just tell me what's going on. I don't know wow." When we came under a street lamp, he suddenly pulled me to a stop and stared into my face; then he pulled me together again abruptly, put his head on my shoulder, and muttered, "Sorry! I'm a fool, too. ;Poor brother, I'm no better than you, and I don't see it." After the tears, he seemed calmer.He raised his head and walked forward again, saying at the same time: "What's the matter? . I was very excited, and I thought it was me who caused it, but it was actually just talking about you." "Didn't you understand at the time?..." "No, I just don't understand; but now, no matter how small the signs are, they are all clear..." "Are you sure you're not mistaken?" "Mistake! Oh! only a blind man can't see that she loves you, my dear." "Then Alyssa..." "Alyssa sacrificed herself. She stumbled upon the secret and wanted to make way for her sister. Here, boy! It's not difficult to understand... I'll have to talk to Juliet then, but I just said Two sentences, to be precise, as soon as she understood what I meant, she stood up from the couch we were sitting on and said several times in a row: "I have expected it a long time ago", but the tone showed that she hadn't expected it at all... " "Hey! You can't be kidding!" "Why do you say that? I find it very funny... She rushed into my sister's room. There was a noise in the room, and I panicked when I heard it. I wanted to see Juliet again; It was Alyssa who came out. She put on her hat, looked awkward when she saw me, said a quick hello, and walked by . . . that's all." "You never saw Juliet again?" Abel hesitated for a moment before saying: "Yes. After Alyssa left, I opened the door and went in. I saw Juliet standing in front of the fireplace, leaning her elbows on the marble mantelpiece, her chin resting on her hands, looking in the mirror motionless. She heard me go in. , without looking back, just stomped his feet and shouted: "Oh!do not bother me! "The tone was very blunt, and I couldn't say anything more and left. That's all." "And now?" "Oh! Just to tell you, I feel better... now? Tell you, you have to try to heal Juliet's love wounds; before this, Alyssa will not come back to you, otherwise I don't understand she." We walked in silence for a long time. "Go back!" he said at last. "The guests are gone now. I'm afraid my father is waiting for me." We went back and saw that the living room was indeed empty. In the front hall, the presents on the Christmas tree were taken away, and the lights were almost all extinguished. Only my aunt and her two children, Uncle Bucolin, Miss Ashbutone, my two cousins, and a rather ridiculous figure whom I had seen talking at length with my aunt, but who I now recognized as the suitor Juliet had spoken of.He was taller, stronger and more ruddy than any of us, but he was almost bald on the top of his head.He was clearly from another class, another class, another race, and seemed to feel alien among us.He grabbed a large gray mustache and twisted it back and forth nervously.The hall light was out, but the door was open, so we both slipped back in without anyone noticing.I felt anxious for a while, and had a terrible premonition. "Stop!" said Abel, taking my arm at the same time. At this moment, we see the stranger approach Juliet and take her hand; while Juliet does not turn her head to look at him, but the hand is held by others without resistance.My heart suddenly sank into the night. "Hey, Abel, what's going on?" I muttered, as if I didn't understand, or hoped to understand, wrong. "It's needless to say! The little girl wants to increase her status." He said, his words mixed with hiss. "She's not willing to be inferior to her sister. The angels must be applauding in heaven!" Miss Ashbuton and my aunt surrounded Juliet, the uncle went to kiss the little girl, and the Reverend Vautier stepped forward... I took a step forward, and as soon as Alyssa saw me, she ran up, trembling. said: "Jerome, it's not going to happen. Juliet doesn't love him! She told me this morning. Try to stop her, Jerome! Oh! What's going to happen to her? . . . " She fell on my shoulder and begged, absolutely in agony.If it can relieve her panic, I will do it if I risk my life. Suddenly, there was a shout from the Christmas tree, and then there was confusion... We ran to find Juliet unconscious in my aunt's arms.Everyone gathered around and looked down at her, and I could barely see her pale face pulled back by the loose hair.Her body was twitching, obviously not an ordinary fainting. "Oh! nothing, nothing!" exclaimed my aunt, in order to reassure my uncle, while the Vicar Vautier was already comforting him, pointing to the sky with his forefinger. "It's all right! Nothing at all. It's just that I'm too excited, and my nerves are too tense for a while. Mr. Tessier, if you have strength, help me, and we will carry her into my room and put her on my bed . . . On my bed..." Then, she whispered something in the ear of the eldest son, and saw that he went out immediately, he must have called for a doctor. The aunt and the suitor, lifting Juliet's shoulders half-up in their arms.Alyssa hugged her sister's feet affectionately.Abel stepped forward to support her head that was about to fall back—he saw him brushing up her messy hair, bending down to kiss again and again. I stopped at the door of the room.Everyone put Juliet on the bed.Alyssa said a few words to Monsieur Tessier and Abel, which I did not hear; she sent them to the door, and begged us to let her sister rest under the care of her and my aunt. ... Abel grabbed my arm and pulled me outside.We both walked in the dark for a long time, disheartened and aimless.