Chapter 3 third chapter

During this year, I hardly ever saw Abel Vautier.He enlisted early for military service, and I was repeating rhetoric classes for my bachelor's degree.This year, Abel and I are in the École Normale Supérieure de Paris. I am two years younger than him, and I can wait for military service after graduation. We were both very happy to meet again this time.After he left the army, he traveled for more than a month. I was really afraid to meet him and find out that he had changed.His old charisma hadn't diminished in the slightest, but his confidence had grown a little.We spent the afternoon before school started in the Luxembourg Gardens.Of course I couldn't hold back my thoughts, and I talked to him for a long time, besides, he knew about my love affair.During the year, he has been with some women, but he has a little bit of a sense of superiority and puts on a pretentious air, which I don't mind.He laughed at me for not being good at making decisions. According to the principles he said, women must never be calmed down.From what he said, I thought that neither I nor Alyssa could use his high-level theory, which showed that he didn't know us very well.

The day after my return to Paris, I received this letter: Dear Jerome: I've thought twice about what you've proposed (and what I've proposed! Call our engagement that way!).I'm afraid I'm too old for you.Maybe you don't feel it now, because you haven't had the opportunity to see other women; but I think how painful it would be if I were married to you and found out that I didn't like you.You must be very angry reading my letter; I seem to hear your protest.However, I still ask you to wait a little longer and talk about it when you are a little deeper in the world.

You know, I'm only saying this for your own good, but I'm sure I'll never stop loving you. We stop being in love!How could such a thing happen! —I felt sad, and even more surprised, and I was in a moment of confusion, and I ran at once to show Abel the letter. He shook his head and read the letter, and burst out from his tightly closed lips: "In this case, what are you going to do?" Seeing my arms raised, with a puzzled and distressed face, he said again: "At least I hope Don't write back. Once you get into an argument with a woman, it's over...Listen to me: we live in Le Havre on Saturday, we can go to Funguesmar on Sunday morning, and come back on Monday morning for the first session Lesson. I haven't seen your relatives since my military service; that's a good enough excuse, and a decent one. If it seems to Alyssa it's an excuse! I'll take care of Juliet, You just go talk to her sister. You mustn't be childish... Honestly, there's something in your love that I don't quite understand; maybe you didn't tell me all... Never mind! I'll figure it out ...You must not inform us about our going, you must catch us by surprise, so that your cousin has no time to be on guard."

I pushed open the garden gate and felt my heart beating wildly.Juliet immediately ran to meet us.Alyssa was packing her underwear and bedding and was in no hurry to go downstairs.We were in the drawing room, chatting with my uncle and Miss Ashbuton, when Alyssa came in at last, and if she was disturbed by our sudden arrival, at least she didn't show it.I naturally thought of what Abel said to me. She has not shown up for a long time, and she must be ready to deal with me.Alyssa's reserved attitude seems too cold in comparison to Juliet's unusually lively attitude.I felt that she disapproved of my going and returning, or at least put on an air of disapproval; and behind this attitude, I really dare not expect to hide such strong feelings.She sat in a corner by the window, quite far away from us, as if she was concentrating on doing an embroidery work, her lips were still moving and counting stitches.Abel was speaking, luckily for him!I didn't even have the courage to speak. If he hadn't told about his one-year military service and travel experience, the first period of this reunion would have been very dull.The uncle himself seemed worried.

Just after lunch, Juliet took me aside and dragged me into the garden. "Can you imagine, someone proposed to me!" she said loudly as soon as we got to the place where no one was around. "Aunt Felicie wrote to Papa yesterday, saying that a vineyard owner in Nîmes wanted to marry me. According to my aunt, he is very nice. He met me a few times in social situations this spring and fell in love with him. me." ①Nîmes: A city in the south of France. "Have you noticed, sir?" I asked, with involuntary hostility towards my suitor. "I noticed it, and I knew who it was at a glance. He was a good-natured Don Quixote, uneducated, ugly, and very vulgar. My aunt couldn't help laughing when she saw him."

"So, does he have... hope?" I asked teasingly again. "Look at you, Jerome! What a joke! A merchant! . . . If you had seen him, you wouldn't have asked that question." "Then... how did uncle answer me?" "Same answer as mine: I'm too young to marry... Unfortunately," she added, laughing again, "my aunt expected this answer, and added a postscript: Edward Tessier Sir,—that's his name, he agreed to wait for me, and brought it up early, to 'rank'... Absurd; but, what can I do? I can't be told that he looks like Too ugly!"

"Of course not. It can only be said that you don't want to marry a vineyard owner." She shrugged: "That kind of reason doesn't hold water in my aunt's head... let's not talk about it. —Alyssa wrote to you?" She spoke in a voluptuous manner, appearing very impulsive.I handed her Alyssa's letter, and she blushed, and asked me with what seemed to me annoyance: "So, what do you do?" "I don't know either," I replied. "Now that I'm here, I feel that I might as well have written a letter, and I've reproached myself for coming. Do you understand what she means?"

"Understood, she wants to set you free." "Give me freedom, do I value freedom? Do you understand why she wrote me this?" She replied: "I don't know", her tone was very cold; although I still couldn't guess the truth after hearing it, I was at least immediately convinced that Juliet might not be ignorant. ——We walked to the corner of the flower path, she turned around suddenly, and said: "You go now, you're not here to talk to me anyway. We've been together too long." She escaped and ran towards the small building; after a while, I heard her playing the piano.

When I got back to the living room, she was still playing, but now listlessly, improvising as if at random, while chatting with Abel, who was looking for her.I turned and left again, and wandered around the garden for a long time, looking for Alyssa. She was in the orchard, picking the first chrysanthemums that had bloomed at the foot of the wall: the scent of the flowers mingled with the scent of the dead beech leaves.There is autumn in the air.The sun only shows some warmth when it shines on the rows of fruit trees against the wall, but the sky in the eastern half is exceptionally pure.Her face was almost completely covered by the big hat: the blue hat that Abel had brought her back from his travels, she put it on immediately.When I approached, she didn't turn around immediately, but she couldn't help shaking slightly, showing that she heard my footsteps.I tense up, mustering the courage to face her scolding, and the stern stare she's about to shoot at me.However, when I was about to come to the front, I seemed timid and slowed down again; as for her, she didn't turn back to look at me at first, and kept her head down, like an angry child, but she stretched out her back full of flowers to me. hand, as if motioning for me to go over.When I saw the greeting gesture, I stood still, thinking it was amused.She finally turned her head, took a few steps towards me, raised her face, and I saw her smile.Her gaze illuminated everything, and I suddenly felt that everything was so simple and easy, so I spoke without any effort, with an extremely normal tone:

① Translation Lan: The name of the province of the Netherlands. "It was your letter that called me back." "I thought of that," she said, and then softened the harsh reproach in a soft voice: "That's what I was. Why did you twist my words? It was clear at the time. . . . Difficulties, as expected, are all made up of random thoughts, completely a product of my mind.) I told you clearly, we are very happy like this, you want to change, but I refused, why do you make such a fuss?" Indeed, I was so happy, so happy to be around her that my thoughts were exactly the same as hers.I no longer expect anything but her smile, as long as I walk with her hand in hand on the warm flower path like this, I will be satisfied.

All other hopes were dispelled at once. I was completely immersed in the happiness in front of me, and said to her solemnly: "If you think this is good, we will not be engaged. When I received your letter, I suddenly understood , I am indeed a happy person, but I am about to lose my happiness again. Oh! Give me back my original happiness, I can’t live without it. I love you as much as I love you, and I am willing to wait for my whole life. However, Alyssa , the thought that I can't bear the most is that you no longer love me, or doubt my love." "Alas! Jerome, I cannot doubt." The voice she said to me was calm and sad; however, her smile was radiant, showing an incomparably quiet beauty; I couldn't help but feel ashamed when I saw it, I shouldn't be so careless and argumentative, and I immediately felt, The faint sadness that could be heard from the depth of her voice was only caused by such paranoia and arguments.The subject changed, and I spoke of my plans, my studies, and this new life which I hoped would be very rewarding.The École Normale Supérieure was not like it was in recent years. At that time, diligent study was encouraged, and only lazy and stupid students felt the pressure of stricter discipline.I liked the monastic habits, the isolation, and the world of society had no attraction for me, and as soon as Alyssa was afraid, it seemed at once abominable to me.In Paris, Mademoiselle Ashbuton still kept the apartment in which she shared with my mother.Abel and I were in Paris with only one acquaintance, and we used to go and sit with her for a few hours every Sunday.Every Sunday, I write to Alyssa so that she can fully understand my life. We sat on the frame of the open hotbed, and saw thick vines of cucumbers crawling out, and the last crop of cucumbers had been picked off.Alyssa listened to me and asked me a few things.I have never felt her so tender and attentive, so earnest and affectionate.Worries, apprehensions, even the slightest restlessness melted away in her smile, vanished in this charming intimacy, like mist in a clear blue sky. We were sitting on a bench in the beech grove, and after a while Juliet and Abel arrived.In the late afternoon of this afternoon, we re-read Swinburne's poem: "The Triumph of Time", each of us took turns reading a stanza until night fell. ① Swinburne (1837-1909), a British poet. "Okay!" When we left, Alyssa hugged me and said half-jokingly, "Promise me now that from now on, I will never think about it like this again..." She put on a big sister look , this may be due to my recklessness, or maybe she likes it. "How is it! Are you engaged?" Abel asked me as soon as we were alone again. "My dear, there's no need to talk about it," I answered; and then, in an unquestionable tone, I added: "It's better this way. I'm happier tonight than I've ever been." "Me too," he said suddenly, throwing his arms around my neck, "I'm going to tell you something very wonderful and extraordinary! I'm madly in love with Juliet! I've noticed it last year, but Later, I went out to make a living, and I didn’t want to reveal it to you until I saw your cousins ​​again. Now, it’s settled, I have settled down in my life. I love, more than love, I adore Juliet! "I have long felt that I am as affectionate to you as my brother-in-law..." Abel laughed and fussed, hugged me tightly, and rolled like a child on our train seat back to Paris.Hearing him confess his love so frankly, I was stunned and felt a little awkward. I just felt that his confession had elements of literary exaggeration.However, such passion and joy, how can there be any way to resist? "So, you have confessed your love?" I finally interjected in the midst of his fuss. "Not yet! Not yet!" he answered loudly; "I don't want to rush through the most fascinating chapter of the matter. the best moments of love, Not saying: I love you... "Hey! You master of slow kung fu, you don't blame me, do you?" "At the end of the day," I added, a little annoyed, "do you think her, too...?" "Didn't you notice how flustered she was when she saw me again this time? She was so excited, blushed, and talkative throughout this visit! . . . Yes, of course you didn't notice anything." Arrived, all her mind is on Alyssa... She still asks me this and that! Listens to me eagerly! This year, her intelligence has developed very fast. I really don't understand, how can you say that she doesn't like reading ;You always think that Alyssa is the only one who likes books... But, boy, it's amazing how much she knows! Do you know what we play before supper? Let's recall a lyric by Dante: We take turns every day. People recite a sentence; she corrects me when I make a mistake. You must know this poem: Can I treat love rationally? ①The original text is Italian. "You didn't tell me she had studied Italian." "Even I don't know," I said, also surprised. "How is it possible! When she started reciting poems, she said that you taught her." "She must have heard me read it to her sister the other day: she used to make dresses or embroider, but, hell, she didn't show any sign of understanding." "Really! Alyssa and you, you are so selfish. You two are completely shut up in your love, and you don't even look at her brilliant display of intelligence and heart! I don't want to boast, but after all I came It's time... Well! No, no, I don't blame you, you know that perfectly," he said, and embraced me again. "Just promise me: don't say a word to Alyssa. I'll take care of it alone. Juliet is in love, that's for sure, and quite sure, I'd even dare to leave her alone. Let’s talk about the next holiday, I don’t even plan to write a letter to her during this period. However, during the New Year’s holiday, you and I will go to Le Havre together, and then..." "How about..." "At that point, Alyssa will suddenly find out that we're engaged. I'm going to make it a snap. Guess what's going to happen? You haven't been able to get Alyssa to say yes, and I'm going to take our You have got your example. We have to convince her that we can never get married before you..." He went on like this, and his words were like waves, which almost overwhelmed me, even when the train arrived in Paris. I went to the dormitory, and stayed until early morning. Abel was elated, and made arrangements for the present and the future.He has envisioned, and has narrated in detail the scene of our two weddings; he has also imagined and pictured everyone's surprise and joy, and he has become fascinated by our beautiful story, our friendship and what he has done in my love. play a role.Such sultry passion was irresistible, and I finally felt infected, and gradually responded to his illusory suggestions.Our ambition and courage also swelled with the momentum of love: as soon as we graduated from college, we invited Pastor Vautier to officiate at the wedding, and then the four of us set off on a trip, and then we started a big career, and our wives were willing to share with us. We work together.Abel was not interested in teaching. He thought he was born to write, and as long as he wrote a few successful plays, he could quickly earn the large sum of money he needed.As for me, I prefer research and don't care much about profit. I plan to devote myself to the study of religious philosophy and write a history of religious philosophy... But, with so many hopes, what is the use in retrospect? The next day, we went to study again.