Chapter 15 01 A little accident at the book signing

I never knew that a writer's readers could be so strange. Last Saturday, my boss Jiudao held a book signing event at Jinshitang on Tingzhou Road in Taipei. I also got to help maintain order on the spot, confirming the number plates in everyone's hands and other trivial matters. Jiu Dao likes to be funny, and signing a book will be very different from other writers.When signing books, Nine Knives will put a chair next to him for his readers to sit. In addition to signing books, you can also chat with Nine Knives, which can make up for the boring process of queuing, and the angle of taking pictures is also better. .

Although it's not good to speak ill of your boss, Jiu Dao is really perverted. I observed that as long as a boy sits next to him, Jiu Dao will only say: "Hi hi, umm. Thank you!" These six words, and then tell the other party to get out of here with a look of "Enough!" But if the other party is a girl, Nine Swords will be very courteous and warm, and even the time to shake hands is five or six times longer than that of a boy, and it feels more forceful. If you meet a top girl, Nine Swords will be even more exaggerated. "I remember...you go to Zhongshan Girls' High School, right? You are reading my blog. I recognize your nameless photo, Ke Keke, Ke Keke." Jiu Dao always proudly showed off his Zhengmei's memory technique: "I still remember that it was written on your blog that you recently went for whitening injections!"

"Was it painful when you pulled your tooth last time? Yes, of course I remember, haha." Nine Swords is very concerned about Zhengmei's body, and never forgets the little ailment that Zhengmei told him when she came to the book signing last time . "Is your mother okay now? Isn't it? That's great. But you are too thin, and you will correct it if you eat more hahahahaha!" Nine knives are good at remembering the family situation of Zhengmei. "Is it your boyfriend who took the photo for you? He is not good enough for you!" Nine knives never forget to give the boy who came to the book signing with his girlfriend and girlfriend, and hit the nail on the head.

"You smell so good, why do you smell so good? Hand cream? There is a way for hand cream to be so fragrant! I, no, believe, believe!" Nine knives always use their sense of smell to sexually harass five-star girls reader. No matter what kind of conversation it is, Jiu Dao will definitely chat with Zhengmei with eyes full of pity, and chat for a long time. No matter whether the male reader in the back line is about to break his leg, he is still indulged in In the feel-good pink world. Although if it were me, I would do exactly the same thing, but I have no chance to do it! So the despicable behavior of the nine knives still makes me very disdainful!

At the "Killer, Unparalleled Freedom" book signing this weekend, while I was doing my job well, I was as usual coldly watching Nine Swords' behavior of eating tofu because of their lust for beauty. But this time at the book signing meeting, two emergencies occurred. Situation one. Didn't buy it at all, but two fat A Zhai readers angrily took two copies of the fourteenth volume of "The Legend of the Life Hunter" and stood in front of Jiu Dao, and began to recite "The Life Hunter" without warning The content of the fourteenth episode.My God, are they going to memorize from the first word to the last?

As soon as they started to endorse, a large group of readers lined up at the back kept talking, but Nine Swords God was chatting with the very beautiful book signing event host, little fairy osf, completely ignoring this embarrassing state. "Boss, what should we do? Do you want to ask the security of the bookstore to come forward?" I frowned, feeling that the queue was full of resentment, and several readers were planning to leave. "Nervous fart! Ann! Ann!" The nine knives laughed, and swayed from side to side to help them beat the time. "...Is this really okay?" The little fairy osf also started to beat her hands tremblingly.

"But the queue is very long, so..." I was very disturbed. "Oh, life is a constant battle!" Jiu Dao laughed. This smile made me feel chills... This bastard writer has no readers in his heart! So, these two fat ants memorized for two hours in a row, and the book signing session was wasted for two full hours! After the two fat housekeepers who desperately endorsed it left, Jiu Dao also finished his bento, and the signing meeting, which was on the verge of collapse, reluctantly continued. At eight o'clock in the evening, situation two appeared. After the sky darkened, more than half of the queues were reduced.

An aunt who looked like an aunt with a huge butt struggled to sit down on the side of the nine knives. As soon as she sat down, the aunt poured a large bag of more than fifty novels on the table like a stud. "Dao Da, can you sign every book!" The aunt with curly hair looked proud: "I have bought every book! I have also collected all your reports in the newspapers!" "No, I'm sorry." The host Xiaoxian osf stopped with a gentle smile: "Because there are a lot of people in line, we will only sign the fifth series of the book signing this time, and the rest of the books cannot be signed."

"Bah!" The aunt was furious: "Am I asking you!" The little fairy OSF's face turned pale with fright. Nine Swords was not angry at all, and yawned: "You go to Takehiko Inoue to ask for an autograph, will you hand over 31 volumes of "Slam Dunk" and 31 volumes of "Ronin Swordsman" to Inoue for autographs? ?” "...No." The aunt was stunned. "Then you think I'm inferior to Takehiko Inoue, what the hell?" Nine Swords laughed. The complaining aunt had no choice but to obediently put the pile of novels back into her bag, leaving only "Killer Five" on the table.

"Da Dao, for today's book signing, I escaped." The aunt carefully opened "Killer 5" with one hand, and reached into Joe's bra under the clothes with the other. Yes, I wrote it right, and you read it right, this aunt is so arrogant. "Escape? Escape from what?" The aunt's level was only a little higher than that of the boy, Azhai. Nine knives quickly signed and drew, without even raising her head, she babbled: "Psychiatric hospital? Hahaha, hahaha." After signing, there is also a bonus sentence: Takehiko Inoue, my brother! "Yes." The aunt nodded sharply.

"Such a dick?" Jiu Dao obviously didn't listen carefully, or didn't care at all: "Then will I go back after signing the autograph? Or should I play in the world of flowers for a few more days before thinking about it?" "I'm afraid I can't go back." The aunt sighed. I took one more look at the aunt who claimed to have escaped from the mental hospital. This aunt was wearing clothes that were obviously too small, and they were too tight. Although she kept reaching for Qiao's bra, the bra was still crooked, and it seemed that it wasn't her own bra that was so weird.The aunt is wearing shorts that have been washed to fade, but the shoes are super dirty and feel like they have never been washed. In a word, it is sloppy! "Yeah, the fate of the world is not over, hehehe, it must be related to the matter of sex." Jiu Dao closed the book, and firmly held the hand of the aunt with both hands: "Anyway, thank you for escaping to participate in the book signing event, thank you La!" The nine knives shook hands with full sincerity, and 100% wanted to use the fastest speed to ask the aunt to go away. But the aunt didn't intend to flash like this. "Dao Dao, in fact, I came here specially to attend the book signing event, because I wanted you to secretly tell me the ending of the killer series, the ending of the life hunter series, and the ending of the urban horror series." : "There is more! What kind of story is "Flying"? What about the God of Sin? What kind of story is "The God of Sin"?" "No." Nine Knives answered very simply. "..." The aunt was stunned for a moment, and quickly said in a very sentimental tone: "Don't worry about Daoda, I will definitely not leak it, because I am about to explode." "Yes." Jiu Dao said with a smile, "No." "The fragments will never reveal the secret." The aunt was a little excited, and her voice trembled: "Dao Da, please tell me the ending of the novel before I explode, otherwise I will die with regret!" "It sounds really cool to die without resting my eyes." Nine Knives Keke laughed: "No." "The knife is big! I'm going to explode in six hours! I promise not to tell the ending of the novel! I alone know! I alone!" The aunt seemed to use all her strength to shout: "Let me Explode with a contented smile!" The people in the queue at the back all stretched their necks, looking forward to find out what happened. At this time, Jiu Dao was a little impatient, and looked at me: "That's it, Wang Daming!" I walked over. "Auntie, this man's name is Wang Daming, he is my servant, and he is still loyal so far." Nine Swords pulled his hand out of Auntie's grasp and patted me on the shoulder: "If you don't mind, I ask Wang Daming to follow me first." You talk." I was shocked. "...He?" The aunt looked at me with disdain. I couldn't help puffing out my chest. "Yeah, don't look at Wang Daming's soft dick, he has been with me for a while, so long, even a dog is a smart and passionate dog. Regarding the explosion or the ending of the novel, how about you Go to a nearby coffee shop with Wang Daming to chat first, and after my book signing is over, if I’m happy, I’ll go to see you.” Nine Swords smiled, and completely shirked this hot-handed aunt to me. What can I complain about?Isn't that what it's like to do things with money? "Okay." The aunt suddenly stood up: "Then I'll go first!" The bra fell off again. "Get out of here quickly." Nine knives cupped their hands.