Chapter 16 02 non-stop joe bra

Nine knives continued to sign books, and I took my aunt who continued to wear Joe's bra to find a place to sit in the mansion. But it's not a cheap coffee shop. We went to eat at a small Thai restaurant only two minutes away from Jinshitang.I was hungry, and dealing with the aunt was obviously part of the official duties, so I could ask for money from Jiu Dao, so I decided to eat a big meal and definitely not save Jiu Dao. The aunt is not a polite character either, she wolfed down several dishes. There was no conversation, and the two of them just ate in one go. Taking advantage of this, I took a deeper look at this aunt who randomly entered the book signing meeting.She claimed to have escaped from a mental hospital. Although she might be bluffing, who would claim that she escaped from a mental hospital for no reason?Even if it is not an authentic mental illness, it is almost inseparable.

The aunt with curly hair, about forty or so?Shouldn't be fifty?Looking carefully, there is an illusion of a young version of Chen Ju, which immediately makes me feel a little kind. We were full, so we ordered beer. "Auntie, what did you say exploded just now?" I hiccupped, looking for something to say. "..." The aunt narrowed her eyes and looked at me suspiciously. Although being looked down upon happens from time to time, I've never gotten used to it. "Actually, I have been helping Nine Swords for a long time. I am mainly responsible for collecting inspiration for him, and sometimes I will act as his stand-in to help his readers solve strange problems. On the surface, I am an assistant, but I am An adventurer can’t go too far.” I pretended to have seen the world, and sighed: “After all, not everyone has the ability to be a nine-knife assistant.”

The aunt's originally squinted eyes opened slightly.It seems that I was a little intimidated. "The relationship between Nine Knives and me is probably like that between Sherlock Holmes and Watson." I rubbed my chin. "...Holmes?" The aunt frowned, "Who is it from Formosa?" Very well, Sherlock Holmes will definitely cry if he knows anything underground. "It's also a bit like Goku and Krillin." I think readers of Nine Knives should have read "Dragon Ball" "Hmm..." The aunt nodded slightly. "Luffy and Sauron can barely be described." "One Piece" should also be a must-read classic for sword fans.

"Understood." The aunt stretched out her hand, and rudely jogged the crooked bra. Thanks to "One Piece", this aunt finally entered the situation. There is a saying that goes well: "It's better to have a long dick than a short dick, and it's better to shut up than talk nonsense." I smiled, sending out an unpredictable breath. "Wang Daming, what's the point of living in this world?" The aunt inserted the straw into the beer can, drinking the wine in a very elegant and strange way. Dazai asked. "Hmm, um, actually, I haven't really thought about this issue." I confess honestly.

"Then... Pooh! I have nothing to say to a superficial person like you." The aunt sneered. Live with a goal, no matter whether it is achieved in the end, everyone is full of faith in the process! Did you hear that? Faith!" "etc!" Being despised sucks, especially being despised by an aunt who is so close to a psycho, it feels like sneaking a handjob in the toilet and mom suddenly opened the door.I said vigorously: "To be serious, I also have a life goal that must be fulfilled! My father... my father was dissolved, and I will spend my whole life trying to solve the mystery of my father's dissolution!"

The aunt stared wide-eyed: "Your father was dissolved?" Now that the conversation has started, I will tell the whole story of my father's mysterious dissolution. Surprisingly, without making fun of me or asking some stupid questions, this aunt listened to me quite carefully after I finished the experience that I didn't want to repeat, and was so focused that she didn't get distracted at all, so when I finished speaking, the woman on the aunt's left The whole breast has already fallen out of the bra. I feel a little sick to my stomach. "This is my lifelong belief." After I finished speaking, I actually wanted to cry a little.

"Sister, I understand. It turns out that your life also has a very strong purpose." The aunt nodded violently, while emotionally stuffing the left breast back into the bra that was always tight: "But your father has been dissolved, the truth is probably not so It's easy to find out." Looks like it's time to change hands. "Wang Daming, can you see that my sister and I are a very special person?" The aunt cut into herself. "It feels... a little bit. But what kind of special?" I scratched my head. "For example, since I was a child, I have undergone many operations on my brain, which accidentally made me speak 24 languages. I have never learned it before, but I am self-taught!"

fart. "Then say a few words in Spanish." I frowned. "..." "Say a few words and listen." "what?" "Huh what?" "..." "Say a few words in Spanish and have a look." "Although I know twenty-four languages, I didn't say I knew Spanish." Indeed, I was too careless! "Then say a few words in French and have a look." I changed the subject. "I can't understand French." The aunt had a look of blame on me. "Where is German? Is German included in the twenty-four languages?" I took advantage of the victory to chase after him.

"I don't even want to understand such a remote language." The aunt rolled her eyes. "English is okay, right?" I must have frowned deeply. "Good...Morning." The aunt struggled to spit out these words. It's night now, it's almost time for supper, I see. No one spoke for several minutes, and we remained silent.I feel a little regretful that I broke the aunt's hallucination so quickly, but the expression on the aunt's face is full of old gods, and she intends to confuse the topic of twenty-four languages ​​by keeping silent. It was the aunt who spoke first to break the deadlock.

"I have known since I was a child that I was born on this blue planet with an earth-shattering purpose." The warm beer gurgled upwards through the straw in the aunt's hand. "Well, it's earth-shattering." She finally wanted to tell her story seriously, and I nodded. "It's not just an adjective, it's truly earth-shattering." The aunt's eyes became hot: "I will explode myself at 3:47 am on my thirty-eighth birthday." Self explosion? "Is it the kind of self-explosion?" I probably shook. "That's right." The aunt said firmly.

"Self-explosion like Seru?" "Absolutely." "Well, I see. Literally, a lunatic. "According to my estimation, the force of my explosion is about the energy of four to five atomic bombs planted in Hiroshima." The aunt bit the straw, and some beer leaked out from between her teeth. "Yeah, got it." I totally agree. But Pingping is all nonsense, why not talk about the power of fifty atomic bombs?What a very unprofessional lunatic, or else, this aunt used some kind of lunatic language. To be honest, it may be similar to the theory mentioned in the comic "JOJO Adventure Wild Lang": "The substitute messenger will meet the substitute messenger", or it may be a bit similar to the fictional "fate" of Jiu Dao in "Legend of the Hunter". Relationship, since I served as the inspiration assistant of Nine Knives, I have encountered a lot of absurd incidents, as well as strange people with bad behavior.I can't say that I am not surprised, but I have always opened my eyes. The aunt in front of her who claims to have the ability to explode herself is just one of them. After confirming this way, my whole person became more relaxed. "Then how do you know that one day you will suddenly explode?" "Suddenly? Wang Daming, you didn't pay attention at all!" The aunt was a little annoyed: "I said, on my thirty-eighth birthday, at 3:47 in the morning, exactly one second, my whole body would explode! " "Yeah, that's right, but how do you know?" "Mozart knew he was a musical genius when he saw the stave when he was a child. Michael Jordan knew he was the god of basketball as soon as he touched a basketball. Taka Kato knew his fingers from the day he realized he had fingers. It's not for holding chopsticks!" The more the aunt spoke, the more excited she became, and the whole left breast burst out of the bra: "Everyone who is born to be very powerful knows that he will wake up one day!" Have it?Those people are very powerful, but are they so awakened? "Okay, but... there is no basis for this, right?" Although it might be useless, I retorted calmly: "If you think about it for a while, you will know that the human body is composed of blood, flesh and sperm. The ingredients are quite simple. Even if You can really explode, and you can’t produce the power of four atomic bombs, and the effect of blowing out a grenade is considered very talented.” "..." "When I was young, I read a book called "Wonderful World" or "Mysterious World". There is a chapter in it that talks about "Spontaneous Combustion of the Human Body". It is true that there are people all over the world. Spontaneous human body combustion has occurred, but the scale of their burning is just to burn themselves, which cannot be called a big bang.” I watched my aunt’s face getting redder and redder, and continued with an encouraging tone: “Standing in the world All things stand, I support the idea that you're going to burn yourself out all of a sudden, but I disagree with the thesis that you're going to have a whole big bang." "It wasn't sudden! It was exactly 3:47 in the morning on my thirty-eighth birthday, and I would explode on time!" The aunt said angrily, "Besides, do you understand? The human body It is very wonderful, with infinite potential, so many stories are hidden in Dao Da’s brain, and I have never seen the stories flow out of his nostrils. I have the ambition of self-explosion, what’s wrong!” It turned out to be ambition?Tut tut, tut tut. This aunt has always said that her thirty-eighth birthday will be a blast, but she looks like she is forty-eight years old. If I remind her of this, she shouldn't be able to justify herself, right? "Auntie, may I ask, how old are you?" I asked in a low voice. "To tell you the truth, I will be thirty-eight years old in two and a half hours." The aunt's expression became a little nervous, and she said in a low voice, "That's why I desperately escaped from the mental hospital and ran to Find the reason for the big knife." "!" I was surprised, thirty-eight years old can look like this, the mental hospital is really a hell of a place to toss people. "To be honest, although I know that I will explode, and the time and power are also very clear, but..." The aunt's uneven teeth clenched the straw tightly, biting the straw flat: "But, I still I don't know, why do I have such a powerful destiny? Iron Man said, the greater the ability, the greater the responsibility, I have such a great ability, what is my responsibility?" "It's Spider-Man." "?" "Strictly speaking, it was said by Spider-Man's uncle. Anyway, it has nothing to do with Iron Man." Facing the confused lunatic, I said lightly, "By the way, do you have your ID card?" The aunt didn't know what to do, but she still took out a crepe ID card from her pocket. I took it, and it said "Zhang Xiu'e", a native of Huwei Town, Yunlin County, born on January 4, 1952, this is the key point.After doing the math, this aunt is actually forty-six years old this year, far from the thirty-eight years she said. "Auntie, you are obviously forty-six years old. If it was going to explode, it would have exploded eight years ago." I said politely. The aunt didn't get angry at all, but she didn't feel any embarrassment at being exposed. She said nonchalantly, "To tell you the truth, this ID card actually belongs to my sister, and she is actually the one who is mentally ill, but she refuses to go. I kept arguing about suicide, I thought about it, anyway, I will explode sooner or later, why not just think about the meaning of my big explosion, and go to the mental hospital instead of my sister.” Damn, this can also be said hard. "...Your sister really looks like you." I must have raised the corners of my mouth. "That's what everyone says." The aunt nodded calmly. After the beer was finished, we ordered two more cans of Taiwan beer. To be honest, I have always disliked the way my aunt keeps drinking beer with a straw, but when I think about it carefully, I don't even want to complain about her grandmother Qiao's movements, she just uses a straw to drink beer... whatever. "Wang Daming, you are the dog of Nine Swords, you must understand. The protagonists in the novels of Nine Swords all have a mission to come to this world. It is that sense of mission that makes the characters so powerful." "Uh-huh." Novels are just novels, characters are just characters, and Jiu Dao himself is really not worthy of worship. There is a knife on Sezi's head, and nine are stuck in his head. "Haimun came to this world to inherit Ola's battle ax to protect his good friend. Yoshitomo came to this world to give Gulna a grateful punch. Yuanzai came to this world because of justice High-strength kung fu is required. Erection came to this world to worship Ke Yuheng as a teacher. Qisuo came to this world to create Taijiquan together with Jun Bao!" The aunt closed her eyes and was intoxicated by the dead man's nine knives. in the novel world. "Yeah, yum." I was noncommittal. "Boss Habang came to this world to rule the world." "..." I was speechless. "But Wang Daming, what about me? What about me? I've been thinking about it for many years, but I can't figure out why I exploded on my own." The aunt sighed infinitely: "Why? Why am I so different?" "Yeah." I wanted to laugh, but patience has always been my strong point. "And it was a big bang that shook the sky. I don't understand, and I am getting more and more confused." "Hmm, if it's a small explosion, it's easy to guess, but the big explosion is incomprehensible." I said casually, but I didn't really know what I was talking about. "A few years ago, I was watching a movie in the lounge of a mental hospital. I saw Bruce Willie. The plot was that a big meteorite was rushing towards the earth, which made everyone very scared..." The aunt showed her eyes. Fierce light: "At that time, I was thinking, is it possible, on my thirty-eighth birthday, will there be a huge meteorite ready to hit the earth?" I understand, and then, auntie, your destiny is to rush to the meteorite with your own self-destruct power and die together with the meteorite, so as to relieve the crisis of mankind. ...But before that, auntie, how are you going to go to outer space and hug the meteorite? "It seems not." I showed a regretful expression. "I read newspapers every day, watch TV news, flip through magazines, and ask nurses, but there is really no one. To be on the safe side, I ask the hospital to help me contact NASA to see if those foreign noses secretly sent meteorites. Hiding the news? If so, please ask them to come to Taiwan and take me away, I will definitely be useful.” The aunt’s expression was very disappointed: “However, the hospital said that the NASA replied that there were no meteorites, and they assured me again and again, alas, My hopes were dashed again." In my opinion, the hospital did not contact NASA at all! ! ! "So, since there is no meteorite for me to show my power, then why would I self-destruct? Since I will definitely self-destruct, why is it limited to 3:47 in the morning of my thirty-eighth birthday? This What special meaning does time have?" The aunt looked very distressed, her right hand was holding the naughty tit on the left. At this point, I am completely sure that this aunt is indeed a lunatic. Jiu Dao threw her to me, which is completely correct in a sense. I am a handyman he hired for money. I really can't let Jiu Dao be entangled by this lunatic, otherwise it will be ineffective. I gotta, get rid of it. "Auntie, in fact, a strong man like nine knives can't solve your problems. He is good at writing novels and talking trash, but not good at helping readers solve life problems." I pretended to be an adult: "Nine knives once said However, life is a constant battle, and no one can fight for others, this is the most basic belief in fighting.” "!" As if being hit hard, the aunt's expression twisted together. The so-called one mountain is still higher, it is better to be in this mountain. The aunt's idol is the nine knives, and the only thing that can break the chaotic circuits in the aunt's brain is the nine knives. "Nine knives have also said that ninety-nine percent of the things we worry about will not happen, and the only one percent of the tragedy that will happen is ninety-nine percent, even if we worry about it beforehand. If you know it, there is absolutely no way to stop it. The conclusion is to worry about ass!" I pieced together the sentences I saw in the novel of Nine Swords, and I don't know if I got it right: "So, since you know it yourself, auntie, Your self-explosion is inevitable, and there is no solution, so there is no need to think about it, is there?" The aunt said to Qiao Nai thoughtfully. "Auntie, in fact, you have tried your best. In the past few years, in order to find the destiny of self-explosion, you have lived very hard. You even lived in seclusion in a mental hospital and thought hard. You even thought about dying with the meteorite. Love turned into love! If this isn't faith, then—what is?!" I spoke so impassionedly that tears nearly welled up in my eyes. "Yes!" The aunt also became excited. With this excitement, even the tit on the right burst out of the protective range of the bra. I secretly admired myself for being clever and easy to use, which inspired a lunatic who mistakenly regarded the nine knives as a god. "Auntie, I respect you!" I held up the beer and took a sip. "Thank you! Thank you!" The aunt sucked up the remaining beer in one breath. Before I knew it, it was half past ten.This store is also closing. Of course, Nine Swords didn’t come to see us. Jinshitang was open until ten o’clock in the evening at most, and the book signing meeting should have ended at nine forty at the latest.He's coming, he's already here. But I didn't mention it, and the aunt didn't ask, so I probably have a bottom line in my heart. "Auntie, I'm going home first." I stood at the door of the shop and waved to my auntie. "Okay! It's getting late! I'm going to find a place to blow myself up!" said the aunt proudly. "Goodbye! When you blew yourself up, you should say a better line!" "it is good!" The mission is over. I didn't want to know where my aunt was going next, so as not to ask for trouble, I quickly said goodbye to the slightly drunk aunt, turned around and left. Feeling hot after drinking, I walked slowly to the Gongguan MRT, took the green line to Guting Station, and then took the yellow line to Jing’an Station.On the way home slowly, I made a phone call and briefly reported the progress of the mission to Jiudao. On the other end of the phone, Jiu Dao was surprisingly silent. "What's the matter, boss?" I sensed a strange atmosphere: "Could it be...you, who have a ghost-like sixth sense, think that the self-explosion that Auntie Qiao said is true?" "Wang Daming." "exist." "How much money have you eaten for so long?" "It's 1,800 yuan in total. I blame that aunt for ordering too much." "...Don't eat so expensive next time, especially this kind of nonsense story is not worth the price." "clear." Nine knives hung up the phone, and I stuck out my tongue.