Chapter 5 Granny House 2

Then she spoke again. "Auntie will definitely be shocked." It seems that the train hasn't left yet, and the two of them are still in agitation. "She'll be delighted." The train moved.Kazue's expression suddenly became very stiff, and his eyes glanced at the platform.And that's the end of it all.Kazue seemed emboldened, opened the bag on his knees, took out the magazine and flipped through it page by page. Jiaqi's legs were sluggish, only her chest was annoyingly jumping violently, and she swallowed a few mouthfuls of whiskey as if it were medicine.

If I had money, I wouldn't have to let her die.If the man had been more determined, things would have been different.I can't stand it anymore.Her suicide really didn't make any sense. "Hey, am I a good boy?" Jia Qi asked abruptly. "Am I just thinking about being a good kid?" The voice was too loud, and Kazue was flustered, frowning rather angrily.Jia Qi looked a little timid and smiled foolishly. "But," he jokingly lowered his voice exaggeratedly, "you are not that unhappy. Because you are an ordinary woman. You can't be called bad or good, you are very ordinary in essence I'm a woman. But I'm different. I'm a terrible person. I should be below average."

The train passed Akabane, passed Omiya, and shuttled quickly in the darkness.The alcohol of the whiskey took effect, and affected by the speed of the train, Jiaqi's eloquence was much better than usual. "Being spurned by my wife, I have no choice but to cling to my wife's side like this. I know how ugly the tragedy is. I know I am stupid. But, I am not a good boy. I don't want to be Good boy. I’m so nice, I’m always fooled by girls, I can’t leave her behind, and I’m dragged to death by her. The companions who study art together say I’m innocent, and the others say I’m Cowardly and good people, I didn't want those hypocritical (いい加量な) sympathy. I died because I couldn't bear my own pain. I didn't die for you. I have a lot of bad things about myself place. Too much dependence on others, too much trust in other people's abilities, and countless other shameful failures of mine, I know it all. I try to make myself live like an ordinary person, how hard I have been, I don’t know if you also feel a little bit of it? I only rely on a straw to support this life. As long as there is a little weight, this straw seems to be broken. How desperately I guard it, You should know. I'm not weak, it's because the pain is too heavy. These are complaints, it's my hatred, but if I don't make it clear, other people, no, even you will believe my audacity too much That person talks about his pain and suffering all day long, it’s all a show, putting on a show, that’s how you look at me.”

Kazaki seemed to want to say something. "No, it's okay. I'm not blaming you. You're a good man. You're so honest all the time. You believe what others say. I never thought of blaming you. Even if I'm more educated than you My old friend for many years. I won’t know my pain. I don’t believe in my love. I can’t help it. Anyway, I’m also a very bad person.” Jiaqi smiled when she said so.When Kazue saw it, he suddenly became elated. "I see. Don't say it anymore. Isn't it good to be heard by others?" "You still don't know anything. I'm an extremely stupid idiot in your eyes. As for me, now, although I want to be a good boy, I feel that those things are still hidden somewhere in my heart. It hurts me so much. It's been six or seven years with you, and you haven't once, no, I don't mean to blame you. There's nothing you can do about it. It's not your responsibility."

Kazue didn't listen, and quietly read his magazine.Jia Qi's expression gradually became serious, facing the dark window and continuing to talk to himself. "Don't be kidding. Why do I have to be a good boy. What everyone says about me, liar, slob, narcissist, extravagant, good at fooling women, and a lot of terrible notoriety thrown at me But I didn't say anything. I didn't even have a single excuse. I have my beliefs. However, those beliefs are things that must never be spoken. If I speak out, everything will fall short. I still have an epoch-making (historical) mission in my heart ...I can't live on my own happiness alone. I want to be a villain like never before. The more evil Judas is, the brighter the gentle light of Christ. I feel that I am a dying race. My worldview is Tell me so. I tried to create a powerful counter-evidence (アンチテ-ゼ). I believe that the more you emphasize the evil deeds of perishing things, the more you will create a spring that radiates health under it, and the same will happen. Bounce back violently. I pray and plead for it to come true. I don't mind subjecting myself to everything. My task in the method of counter-evidence, if I can contribute a little to the clarity that is born behind me, so I can Die in peace. Maybe anyone would just smile and not really do that. In fact, even I feel the same way. I'm such an idiot. Maybe I'm hopelessっている）Yes. Maybe I am still a little too complacent. But maybe because of this, this dream will become very beautiful. Life is not acting. Anyway, I lost, and I will die soon, but at least I hope you will live a good life. This kind of words may be a kind of misconception. Sacrifice your life in exchange for a meal soaked in the smell of corpses, even a dog would not eat it, let alone receive your own meal. People who eat food, maybe they will be brought an extra meal out of thin air. Maybe it doesn’t make sense except for things that contribute to us human beings.” Of course, there is no way for Windows to respond.

Jia Qi stood up and staggered towards the toilet.Walking into the toilet and closing the door carefully, Jia Qi hesitated for a moment, and put his hands together.That is the act of praying.No pretense at all. It was already four o'clock in the morning when we arrived at the water station.It was still dark.The snow that the two of them had been worried about had almost disappeared, leaving only a little gray snow trail quietly under the eaves of the station.In this case, it might be possible to reach Guchuan Hot Spring on the mountain by walking, but Jiaqi still cautiously woke up the taxi in front of the station.

As the car climbed up the mountain in a winding and lightning-like shape, it was gradually possible to see the barren mountain covered with pure white snow, which brightened the dark night sky. "It's so cold. I didn't know it would be so cold. Some people in Tokyo are already wearing thin sweaters and walking on the streets." Kazuki even started chatting with the driver. "Ah, turn right there." The hotel will arrive soon, and Kazue looks lively. "They must still be asleep!" this time to the driver. "That's right, a little further ahead."

"Okay, STOP." Jiaqi said. "We will go on our own." The road ahead is very narrow. After getting out of the car, Jiaqi and Kazue took off their socks and walked for a while to reach the hotel.Half of the snow on the road had melted and piled up in thin piles, making their clogs wet.Just as Jiaqi was about to knock on the door, Hezhi who was walking behind hurried over. "Let me knock, let me wake up my aunt." Like a child stealing the limelight. The old couple at the hotel were taken aback.To be more precise, I hurried quietly for a while. As soon as Jia Qi entered the door, he went up to the second floor, entered the room where he lived in the previous summer, and turned on the light switch.Kazue's voice came from downstairs.

"Because he insisted on coming to my aunt. Artists are really like children." Kazue seemed to be completely unaware that he was lying, talking happily, and then mentioned Tokyo's thin sweaters and so on. The old wife quietly went up to the second floor and slowly opened the wooden windows in the room. "It's a shame you came all the way here." She said this. It was already getting a little brighter outside, and the pure white mountainside appeared in front of my eyes.Looking down into the valley, at the end of the morning mist, you can already see a small stream (Guchuan) flowing in the dark between the mountains.

"It's frighteningly cold in here!" Just talking (shh である).Actually, I'm not really that cold. "I really want to drink some wine." "Are you ok?" "Well, my body is much better. Look at me, I'm fat." Kazue carried a big kotatsu by himself. "Ah, it's so heavy. Auntie, I borrowed this from my uncle, and my uncle said I can take it. I can't bear the cold anymore." Kazuhira didn't even look at Jiaqi, and babbled unnaturally endlessly. When there were only two people left, Kazue suddenly became serious. "I'm very tired. I'm going to wash first, and then I want to sleep first."

"I wonder if I can go to the open-air hot spring below?" "Well, it seems to be okay. Uncle said they go to soak every day." The hotel owner put on a pair of big straw sandals and made a way out by stepping on yesterday's fresh snow.Jia Qi and He Zhi followed behind, walking down the slightly bright stream.The two took off their clothes on the mat brought by the boss, and let their bodies slide slowly into the hot spring.Kazue's body became chubby.No matter how you looked at it, it was impossible to imagine that it was something that was going to die tonight. "Do you want to go over there?" After the boss left, Jiaqi compared Kazue with his chin to the white mountainside slowly flowing in the thick morning mist. "But, the snow is so deep, you can't climb it, right?" "It might be better downriver. Because there wasn't so much snow at the water station just now." The two are discussing the place where they died. Back at the hotel, the quilt had already been laid.Kazue immediately got in and started reading magazines.There was a large kotatsu at the foot of her quilt, which looked very warm.Jia Qi threw off her quilt, sat cross-legged in front of the table, hugged the brazier tightly, and drank wine at the same time.The appetizers are canned crab and dehydrated shiitake mushrooms.There are also apples. "Hey, do you want to wait another night?" "Okay," replied the wife, looking at the magazine. "I don't care. It's just that the money may not be enough." "How many are left?" Hearing that sentence, Jiaqi felt more and more ashamed. Nostalgia.How brazen.This is the worst thing in the world.no.I'm procrastinating like this, maybe it's not because of anything else, but because of my desire for her (この女) body. Jiaqi didn't speak. You don't want to live, live with her again.But the debt, and it is still a debt that is not to be told (今理のわるい), what should I do about it.Stigma, almost crazy stigma, what to do with it.Sickness, no one will believe that it satirizes my sickness so viciously, what to do with it.Then, there are parents.