Chapter 8 Chapter two

Two days passed, and I was spinning in circles, exhausted and unable to shake off the obsession that Anna was going to ruin our lives.I'm not trying to see Cyril again.He might bring and guarantee me some kind of happiness, but I didn't want to.I even asked myself difficult questions, with a certain amount of pleasure, to reminisce about the past and worry about the future.It was hot. My room was immersed in darkness.The shutters were closed, but not sufficiently to keep out the uncomfortable, stuffy, damp air.I lay on the bed with my head thrown back and my eyes on the ceiling, moving only to move to a place where there was no heat from sleep.

I didn't fall asleep, and played some slow, melodic but sharp records on the record player at the end of the bed.I smoked a lot and felt decadent.It makes me happy.But this did not fool me: I was depressed and bewildered. One afternoon, Wen Shi knocked on my door and informed me mysteriously that "the matchmaker is below".I saw at once it was Cyril.I went down, but it was not him, but Elsa.She shook my hands warmly.I looked at her, amazed by her new beauty.She was finally tanned, a light, even tan.She was very elegant, and she radiated the brilliance of youth. "I've come to get my suitcase," she said. "Juan bought me some dresses these days. But it's not enough."

For a moment, I wondered who Juan was, but then put it aside.I would love to see Elsa again: she had the cheerful look of those girls who are kept by lovers in bars and relaxed parties.Mention of the relaxed evenings brought me back to the happy days of the past.I told her I was glad to see her again, and she said we used to get along because we had something in common.I shuddered slightly, but masked it.I invited her to go upstairs to my room, which would save her from bumping into my father and Anna.When I told her about my father, she couldn't help but move her head slightly.I think she might still love him...

Although there is Juan and his dresses.It also occurred to me that if it had been 3 weeks earlier, I might not have noticed the movement. In my room, I listened to her eloquent account of her intoxicating social life by the sea.I vaguely felt some curious thoughts forming in my mind.Those thoughts were sparked in part by her new look.Perhaps because I was silent, she finally stopped talking, walked a few steps in the room without looking back, and asked me "Is Raymond happy" in a cold voice. I felt like I had the edge and knew right away why.As a result, many plans appeared in my mind in a mess, and many plans were formed.I feel like I'm overwhelmed by my own reasons.I realized just as quickly what to say to her:

"Pleasant, exaggerating! Anna won't let him find it unpleasant. She's too smart." "Excellent!" Elsa exclaimed. "What she decides to do, you'll never guess...she's going to marry him..." Elsa turned to me with a surprised face: "Marry him? Raymond is willing to marry, him?" "Yes," I said, "Ramon will be married." My throat tickled, and I suddenly wanted to laugh.My hands are shaking.Elsa seemed overwhelmed, like I'd hit her. Never make her think and come to a conclusion: anyway, it's a thing at his age, and he can't spend his life with people who are half upper class.I leaned forward and suddenly lowered my voice to move her:

"Elsa, this cannot be allowed to happen. He is already suffering. You know very well that this is not a possibility." "Yes." she said. She seemed fascinated, which made me want to laugh and tremble even more. "I'm counting on you," I added. "Only you are capable of fighting Anna. Only you are worthy." Evidently she was eager to take my word for it. "He married her, though, because he loved her," she protested. "Come on," I said gently, "he loves you, Elsa! Don't try to make me think you don't know."

I saw her blink a few times and turn her face away to hide the hope of happiness I gave her.I was in a dazed state, just feeling the words to say to her. "You know," I said, "she brought him a family and a moral balance, so she caught him." My words hurt me...because, on the whole, what I have thus expressed is my own feelings.The way I express may be simple and rough, but it is consistent with my thoughts. "If they got married, the lives of the three of us would be ruined. My father had to be protected, he was a big boy... A big kid..." I said excitedly over and over again "Blow the baby". It seemed to me that this was a bit of an exaggeration, but Elsa's beautiful blue eyes were already filled with tears of sympathy. I ended like a thank you song:

"Help me, Elsa. I say this for you, for my father, and for your love." I secretly said in my heart: "...and for those little Chinese people." "But what can I do?" Elsa asked, "I feel powerless. " "If you think you can't do anything, just leave it alone," I said in what people call a limp voice. "What a nasty bitch!" murmured Elsa. "That's the right word," I said.It was my turn to turn my face away. In an instant she perked up again.She was mocked.She would show the plotter woman what she, Elsa Magumble, could do.My father loved her, she always knew it.Even with Juan, she couldn't forget Raymond's allure.Maybe, she won't talk to him about family matters, but at least she won't bore him, won't try to...

"Elsa," I said, because I could bear her presence no longer, "you go to Cyril and ask him to receive you, just say I want you. He will make arrangements with his mother. Tell her, I'll see him tomorrow morning. The three of us will add up together." A step away from the door, I jokingly add: "Elsa, what you guard is your destiny." She accepted some fates solemnly like this.She had no more than 15 such fates, and so did the number of lovers who supported her.I watched her dance away in the sun.I gave my father a week to feel lust for her again. It's half past three.At this time, he was probably sleeping in Anna's arms.Anna was beaming, with disheveled hair, lying in the warmth of joy and happiness, and probably also fell asleep...

I quickly started making plans, not pausing for a moment to be mindful of myself.I kept walking around the room.I went all the way to the window and glanced at the sea.The sea is very calm.Microwaves surged silently onto the beach, shattering on the sand.I went to the door, then turned and walked away.I calculated, estimated, and gradually overturned all objections.Never before have I felt so quick, so alive.I find myself frighteningly agile.I started talking to Elsa with a feeling of self-loathing, and now a feeling of pride, inner approval, and loneliness. In the shower, it all melted away - need I say? --I trembled with guilt in front of Anna.

I don't know how to make amends.I carry her bag for her.As soon as she was out of the water, I ran over and handed her the towel.I lavished courtesies and sweet words on her.Although I have been reticent these days, she was not surprised by such a rapid change, and was even pleased by it.Father was overjoyed.Ana thanked me with a smile, answered me cheerfully, and I remembered those two lines: "What a nasty bitch - that's the right word." How could I say that, how could I agree with Al What about Sarah's nonsense?Tomorrow, I'll talk her out and tell her frankly that I was wrong.Everything will be the same as before.And, no matter what, I'm going to take the test!This is definitely a good thing for the HKCEE. "Isn't it?" I said to Anna: "Access is a good thing, isn't it?" She looked at me and laughed.I also laughed heartily.Because it made me happy to see her so happy. "You are so unpredictable," she said. I am indeed unpredictable.And all the more if she knew what I was planning to do!How I wanted to tell her what I was going to do, and show her how unpredictable I was! "Just think about it, I brought Elsa in: She pretends to be in love with Cyril and lives in his house.We watch her go by in a boat, meet her on the shore, in the woods.Elsa is beautiful again.Ah, of course, she is not as beautiful as you, but after all, she is a beautiful woman who makes men turn their heads. It won't be long before my father can't take it anymore.A beautiful woman who had belonged to him had found solace so quickly, out of pain, and right under his nose, that he would never allow it.Especially since she was still with a man younger than him.You know, Anna, that although he loves you, he will soon think of her again, just to reassure himself.He is very vain, or, too unsure of himself.Say what you want.Elsa, under my guidance, will do what must be done.One day he will cheat on you, and you won't be able to put up with him, can you?You are not a woman to share your love with other women.And you go away, which is exactly what I want.Yes, it's stupid.I hate you because of Bergson, because of the heat.i thought... I dare not even say that to you, because it is so absurd, so incomprehensible.I could have caused you to fall out with us because of this exam, you, my mother's friend, our friend.But the exam is good, isn't it? ""Isn't it? " "Isn't what?" said Anna, "it means it's good to pass the exam?" "Yes," I said. After all, it was better not to tell her anything, because she might not understand.There were some things that Anna couldn't understand.I jumped into the water, chased my father, and started a water fight with him, feeling the joy of play, the joy of water, and the joy of conscience again.Tomorrow, I will change the room.I'm going to move up to the attic with a breakeven.But I will not take Bergson's book.You shouldn't be talking big!I will do it for two full hours in solitude, in silent effort, amidst the smell of paper and ink. I will be successful in October.Dad will smile in surprise.Anna would appreciate it.I will get a bachelor's title.I'll be like Anna, an educated, somewhat unusual, intelligent woman.I might have the potential to be an intellectual...didn't I have a plan in 5 minutes?The plan was despicable, of course, but logical.And Elsa, I got her with vanity, with emotion.She had come only to fetch the box, and it didn't take me a few minutes to get her to make up her mind.And it's funny, too: I'm targeting Elsa, I'm spotting her weak spot, and I'm targeting it before I speak.For the first time I tasted the extraordinary joy of identifying a man, spotting a man, bringing him out into the open, hitting him. Pull the trigger as carefully as people do, try to find someone, then release the trigger immediately, hit!I'm not familiar with this situation, I'm always too impulsive.If I hurt anyone, it is always by negligence.All of a sudden, I saw the magical mechanism of human reaction and the power of language... How regrettable it would be to use the method of lying. One day, I will fall in love with someone passionately, I will find a way, and I will walk towards him carefully, silently, with trembling hands...