Chapter 6 -2

But Lombaugh said, "Since you are no longer a virgin, what's the matter? You won't do anything wrong, but you were raped by us, just like when you were raped before, so you have nothing against your conscience, just suffered violence, was stripped of everything.” The shameless man who comforted me in this cruel way has thrown me on the couch. He was about to ravage me when Rawdon checked his burning desire, "No, don't waste our energy on this woman. You have to think about it, so we can't operate on Rosalie. To finish Our strength is indispensable for this operation. Just use other methods to punish this bastard." While speaking these words, Roden threw a soldering iron into the fire and continued, "By the way, we are going to kill her. Punish her a thousand times stronger. Brand her! Such a shameless mark, with all the insults of her body, will only hang her hereafter, or starve to death. Our revenge The longer it lasts, the more interesting it is.”

As he said that, Rombo grabbed me.Heinously, Roden pressed the red-hot branding iron, which is used to brand thieves, to the back of my shoulder. "Where she dares to show herself now, bitch!" continued the devil, "if she dares, I'll show her the mark of shame, and that's enough to justify me in dismissing her so quickly and quietly. " They bandaged me, made me dress well, gave me a few drops of wine to support my strength, and then, taking advantage of the darkness, took me to the edge of the forest, where they left me inhumanely.Before that, they pointed out to me again how dangerous it would be if I dared to appeal in my current humble and shameful state.

No one else cares about the threat except me.Now that I can prove that the abuse I have just received was not punished by any court of law, what have I to fear?But my weakness, my native shyness, my terrors and bewilderment from what had happened to me in Paris and at the Château de Bressac, all terrified me.I just wanted to escape. What hurt me was not the crime I had suffered. What hurt me more was that I abandoned an innocent girl, leaving her in the hands of two villains, who would definitely kill her at any time.With resentment and bitterness, the mental pain was greater than the pain caused by physical torture, so I immediately set out on the road.But I didn't know the direction, and I didn't dare to ask anyone. I just walked around Paris in a circle, and on the fourth day, I found that I hadn't reached Leo Sainte.Knowing that this road leads to the southern provinces, I immediately decided to take this road.In this way I shall be able to reach that far country, and I thought that the tranquility which I could not find at home might be waiting for me at the end of France.Fated mistake!How much misery I shall suffer!

Although I have suffered many hardships to this day, at least I have retained my purity and innocence.I've only been hurt by some villains, and I can still believe that I'm a chaste girl.In fact, I was only stained by rape once, and it's been five years since the incident, and the scars have healed.It was raped while I was unconscious, and I didn't even feel it myself.What can I blame myself?No, right! Of course not.My heart is pure, I am even too proud of it, and my self-righteousness is about to be punished.And the disgrace that awaited me was so great that I could no longer hold any comfort in the depths of my soul, though I had little part in it myself.

The only money I had was with me at the moment, that is to say about a hundred crowns, which I had saved at the Bressacks and earned at the Rodens.I'm so glad they didn't take the emergency money away.I felt confident that, with the frugality I had become accustomed to, this would be sufficient to last me at least till I got a job.The stain they have made on me has not been exposed at all, I think it can be covered up forever, the brand will not prevent me from earning a living.I am only twenty-two years old, in good health, and have always been praised for a face that has brought me misfortune.I am good at virtue, though morality has always brought me bad luck--but as I told you, it still comforts me to hope that God will reward them in the end, and perhaps at least not make me suffer from it. .Full of hope and courage, I continued on my way until I reached Sangcheng.I rested there for a few days.It took a week for me to fully recover.Although I might be able to find a job in the city, the idea of ​​having to go far away took hold of me, and I was on my way again, intending to try my luck in the Dauphiné.I've heard people talk about this area a lot, and I thought I'd find happiness there.Below you can see if I got my wish.

At no point in my life have religious feelings left me.I despise the useless sophistry of godless people, believing it to be due to their sexual promiscuity.I oppose them with my consciousness and my conscience, and with such strength I can find all that is needed to refute them.My misfortune has often compelled me to neglect my pious duties, a defect which I am about to remedy at every opportunity. I set out from Auxerre on the 7th of August, a date I will never forget.I walked about two miles, and the heat made I start to feel sick.I ascended a wooded knoll not far from the road, where I thought I might rest and sleep for two or three hours.It costs less than staying in a hotel, and is safer than being on the road.I settled down under an oak tree, and after a light lunch I began to drift off into tender dreams.I slept peacefully and peacefully for a long time, and when my eyes opened again, I enjoyed watching the beautiful scenery in front of me in the distance.On the right stretched a forest, about three or four leagues away, in the middle of which stood what seemed to be a crude bell-tower.What a lovely silence, I thought! I envy such a dwelling, some gentle, pious nun who thinks only of God and her own duties, or some sanctified nun whose heart is devoted to religion. The hermit's hermitage...they are far from the wicked society, where the innocence is constantly peeped out, corrupted and exterminated...Ah!I am convinced that there dwells all virtues, and that when human vice drives them from the face of the earth, they will hide themselves there, in this solitary retreat, among those who love them, practice them, and are lucky every day stand up.

I was immersed in these thoughts, and at this moment, I suddenly saw a girl about my age herding sheep on the highland over there.I asked her about the abode, and she told me that I saw a Benedictine monastery, inhabited by four priests, who could never have been more pious, temperate, and austere. The girl said to me: "People go there once a year to worship the miraculous Virgin, and devout people can get everything they want." Immediately I went and knelt at the feet of the Virgin, and the desire to beg her for help so excited me that I asked the girl if she would show me the way.She said no, because her mother was waiting for her, and the way there was easy.She pointed it out to me, and assured me that the abbot there, a most honorable and holy man, would receive me well and give me all the help I needed.

"They call him Don Severino," the girl continued. "He is an Italian, a close relative of the bishop who treated him very well. He is gentle, honest, and benevolent. He is fifty-five years old, two-thirds of his life." I spent my time in France... Miss, you will be satisfied, you go to that holy hermitage, and you will only be better when you come back." Hearing what she said aroused my enthusiasm even more, and I simply couldn't resist the ardent desire to visit this holy church, eager to go there to perform meritorious deeds and atone for my negligent sins.In spite of my own need of alms, I gave the girl a crown, and took the road to the "Madonna of the Woods" (that is the name of the monastery I went to).

As soon as I was on the plain, I couldn't see the bell tower.With only the forest to guide me, I felt immediately that it was far away, not as far as I had estimated.But nothing would discourage me, and when I came to the edge of the forest, and seeing that it was still early, I decided to go into the forest, thinking that I would always be able to reach the monastery before dark.However, there was no trace of any human beings before my eyes.There wasn't a single house, just a little-trodden path that I took at random, and groped my way along.I have walked at least five leagues, without seeing anything.The sun had completely faded and no longer illuminated the earth, and then I seemed to hear a bell.I listened carefully, walked towards the sound, and quickened my pace.The path widened a bit, and I finally saw some fences, and soon the monastery.Nothing could have been more desolate than this hermitage, with no houses nearby, and the nearest inhabited place six leagues away.Surrounded by endless forests, the monastery is hidden deep in the bottom of the mountain. It took me a long time to walk down to reach it. This is the reason why I can no longer see the bell tower as soon as I arrived on the plain.A gardener's wooden house is close to the outer wall of the monastery, and he must greet here before entering.I asked the porter if he could have a word with the superintendent.He asked me what was my business, and I told him that a religious duty had brought me to this pious retreat.I have come here with great difficulty, and it would be a great comfort if I could pray for a moment at the feet of the marvelous image of the Virgin and saints enshrined in the monastery.The gardener rang the bell and went inside.But because it was getting late and the monks were having dinner, he went in and didn't come back for a long time.He finally reappeared with a monk.

"Mademoiselle," he said to me, "this is Don Clement, steward of the courtyard. He is here to see if your request is worth interrupting the abbot's supper." The name Clement did not quite fit the image of the man.This is a man in his forties, extremely fat, tall and tall, with a giant body, gloomy and wild eyes, hoarse voice, and only utters stiff and intermittent words when he speaks, a real womanizer the face of a tyrant, the appearance of a tyrant.He made me tremble... I couldn't help myself, and all the misfortunes of the past flooded my confused mind with blood.

"What are you going to do?" said the monk to me with the most odious expression. "Is this the time to come to church? . . . You seem to be an adventurous woman." I prostrated myself on the ground and said, "Holy One! I think it is permissible to visit the abode of God at any time. I have come here from afar with zeal and devotion. If possible, I ask for repentance. When you know After what's in my heart, you'll be able to see if I'm worth praying at the feet of the Madonna." "But this is not the time for confession," said the priest, his voice softening a little. "Where are you going to spend the night? We don't have an asylum here. . . . You'd better come back some morning." Hearing this, I explained to him the reason why I was prevented from coming in the morning. Clement did not answer me, and went to report to the dean.A few minutes later, the doors of the church opened.Don Severino himself came to meet me in the gardener's cottage and invited me to go with him into the sanctuary. Don Severino should be described to you immediately.He was a man of fifty-five, as the girl had told me, but handsome and youthful, with a strong physique and limbs like Hercule's.Everything about him does not make people feel harsh, and there is a soft beauty on the whole, which makes people feel that he must have all the charms of a handsome man when he was young.His eyes are beautiful, his manners are refined and noble, his speech is extremely decent, polite, and courteous.The voice was quite pleasing, and none of the words were vulgar or vulgar, but his Italian accent was still recognizable.I confess that the priest's good looks somewhat assuaged my fears of the other. "My dear girl!" he said to me kindly, "although the time is not very suitable, and we are not used to receiving visitors so late. But I will listen to your confession, and then we can find a way Arrange for you to spend the night in a suitable manner until tomorrow when you can pay homage to the image of the Virgin that drew you." ①It is Hercules in Greek mythology, known for his extraordinary strength. —— Annotation We walked into the church and the door closed immediately.Someone lit a lamp next to the confessional.Severino put me on my knees, sat in, and bade me confess everything to him with confidence and boldness. After my humiliation, I was completely relieved to meet a man who seemed so gentle, from whom I had nothing to hide.I confessed to him all my faults, and related all my miseries, and I even showed him the shameful mark which the savage Roden had laid upon me.Severino listened to me attentively, and even asked me to repeat certain details with compassion and concern.However, some of his actions and words still leaked his heart. Unfortunately, it was only later that I thought about it more or less clearly.When I reflected on the matter calmly afterward, it was impossible for me not to recall the many gestures the priest had allowed himself several times to perform, which revealed the passion burning in him.Not only did he deliberately ask for some obscene details for a long time, but he even carefully questioned the following five points in a pretense of thoroughness: One, am I really an orphan, really born in Paris? Two, do I really have no parents, no friends, no guardians, no one to whom I can write? Three, do I really only speak of the monastery to that The shepherdess told me that I want to come here? 4. Have I met someone after I was raped? Can I be sure that the person who raped me fucked me in both natural and unnatural ways? 5. Am I sure? Wasn't followed, and no one saw me enter the monastery? After I gave satisfactory answers to these questions one by one with the most modest, sincere, and childish attitude, the monk stood up, grabbed my hand and said to me: "Well, come here, my child, I will take you tomorrow." Come and pray at the foot of the holy statue you want to visit, and I guarantee you will be satisfied. Now let's meet your most urgent needs first." He said, and he led me to the innermost part of the church. "What?" I couldn't help but panic, and said to him, "What's going on? Go to the innermost..." "Where else to go, pretty pilgrim girl?" replied the priest, leading me into the sacristy, "what! You are afraid to spend the night with four holy hermits! . . . Oh! you will know us How to make you happy, dear angel! If we can't make you very happy, at least you can make us happy!" These words made me tremble with fear, I broke out in cold sweat, and almost fell down.It was completely dark, and not a single light illuminated our steps.I panicked, imagining death waving a scythe above my head.My legs were weak, and as I was walking, the priest's tone suddenly changed.He dragged me away while cursing, "Bitch! Just walk away, don't try to complain or resist here, it's useless!" These cruel words gave me strength instead, and I felt that if I softened I would be doomed.So I straightened myself up and said to the apostate: "Oh, God! Shall I again suffer misfortune for my piety? Is my longing to be near the most venerable place of worship, and shall such a desire be punished like a crime...!" We continued walking, turning around in the dark, unable to see where we were or where the exit was.I walked in front of Don Severino, who was breathing more and more rapidly and speaking incoherently, as if drunk.From time to time, he stretched out his left arm and put his arms around my waist, making me stop. He stuck his right hand under my skirt from behind and caressed me shamelessly.Several times the horny mouth dared to kiss these places, and even the more secluded corners.Then we started moving forward again.A staircase was seen, and after going up thirty or forty steps, a door opened.The bright lights hurt my eyes.We entered a beautiful hall, richly lit and magnificently lit.I saw three priests and four girls sitting around a table, and four naked women serving them.This scene made me shudder.Severino pushed me forward and I entered the hall with him. "Gentlemen," he said as he entered, "permit me to introduce you to this beauty. She resembles Lucretia; with the brand of a whore on her shoulders, but with all the innocence and childishness of a virgin in her consciousness... ...has been raped only once, and has been for six years. So, almost a chaste!... Really, I'll give it to you as a chaste, and she's so pretty... Ha, Clement, You're going to have fun with this beautiful body! How resilient! What a complexion, old friend!" "Oh! ... ah!" Clement, who was half drunk and half awake, stood up and walked towards me as he spoke. "It feels very strong to the touch. I want to check it to see if it is the same thing." Madame, I shall try to keep the situation as brief as possible.Still, I had to describe the people I was facing, and I had to interrupt my story for a moment.You already know Don Severino, and you deduce something about his tastes.well!So deep has he fallen in this respect that he has no other passion.Nevertheless, the fiddle of nature is really incredible, this Fetishism likes to choose only narrow paths, so it has an extremely great function, and even the most trampled roads seem too narrow to him! ① Lucretia: a beautiful woman and lady in ancient Rome who committed suicide after being raped. ——Annotation. Clement, I have briefly introduced it.In addition, he was very vicious, teasing, dangerously cunning, abnormal in every way, always sarcastic, unkind, rotten in heart, and Roden's bad taste for his school children was full of emotions. Nothing, no delicacy, no religious sentiments, no other pleasures than his savage cravings.In this way, you will have a comprehensive impression of this odious fellow. Antonin is the third actor in these loathsome lunatics.He was small, lean, but powerful, as frighteningly strong as Severino, almost as murderous as Clement, and as passionate about the pleasures as he was, but he indulged in them not in the same way as he did. So brutal.Clement is keen on such eccentricities, the purpose is only to abuse and abuse women, and has no other enjoyment, while he enjoys it, fully enjoys all kinds of pure interests bestowed by nature, and whips only the women he admires so passionately , only when the raging flames are burning.In a word, the barbarism of the former is out of interest, while the barbarism of the latter is out of delicate emotion. Jerome, the oldest of the four monks, was also the most voluptuous.All the most monstrous tastes, fanaticism, and perversions were concentrated in the monk's mind.Not only is he like the others at the whims of the others, but he likes to accept the games his companions impose on women, and what he gives (as he often does) is always on condition that others treat him in the same way.Besides, the temples of Venus were all the same to him, but his physical strength was beginning to fail, so for several years he preferred to choose the one that required no tools, and the other that only stimulated the senses and excited the obsessive. ecstasy.Lips were his favorite temple, and while he was indulging in this pleasure he had another woman heat him with thorns.This man was as sinister and vicious in character as the others, and whatever form his evil may take, he was sure to find companions and sanctuaries in this place of evil.Madame, it will be easier for you to understand if I explain to you the structure of this house.To maintain this lascivious sanctuary that has existed for more than a hundred years, they have amassed vast sums of money.And it is always presided over by these four priests who have the highest status in the religion, the wealthiest and the highest family status. It is difficult to leak out all kinds of adultery, and they are all buried deep in this dark cave, and the secrets inside are not revealed to outsiders. Know.You will understand after listening to my narration below.Now let's go back to the girls. The ages of the eight girls who were at dinner were so great that it is impossible for me to describe them to you as a whole, but I must give you some details individually.This particularity surprised me.I start with the youngest girl. The youngest girl is not yet ten years old.A small face full of tiredness, but the outline of the face is very beautiful.With an air of being hit and humiliated, he was worried and trembling all over. The second girl was fifteen years old, and she also had a look of embarrassment on her face, as if her shame had been trampled on.The face, however, was very charming, and in general very endearing. The third girl was twenty years old and was born to be painted.The blond hair couldn't be more beautiful, pretty, straight, and gentle, and it seems to be more docile. The fourth girl was thirty years old, a rare beauty in the world, innocent, upright, decent, and possessed all the virtues of a good soul. The fifth girl was thirty-six years old, three months pregnant, darker, very active, with beautiful eyes.However, I feel that she has lost all guilt, gravitas, and moderation. The sixth girl was also thirty-six years old, fat and tall as a tower, she was not bad in appearance, but her body was damaged by obesity.When I saw her she was naked, and I saw very clearly that there was not a spot of her fat body that had not left the trace of the savagery of the villains whose pleasure her unfortunate fate had made her serve. The seventh and eighth were two beautiful women of about forty years old. Now, let's continue the story after I came to this prostitution cave. As I told you, they all ran towards me as soon as I went in.Clement was the most daring, and soon his foul-smelling mouth was on mine.I turned my head away in disgust, but they told me that all resistance was useless posturing and that the only thing to do was to learn from the girls. "It's easy for you to understand," Don Severino said to me, "that the place where you are now is so secluded that no one can get in, and it's useless to try to resist. You say that you have suffered many misfortunes, but, The greatest misfortune for a chaste girl is missing from your list of misfortunes. It's time to capsize your proud virtue. At twenty-two, can you be nearly a virgin? Do you see These girls, when they first came, tried to resist as much as you did, but they finally succumbed, as you will carefully do, because they saw that their resistance could only lead to more cruel abuse. It is best, I think, for you Make it clear," he said, pointing to thorns, rulers, whips, ropes, and other torture tools of all kinds, "yes, you should know these, these are things we use to deal with disobedient girls, See if you want to be persuaded by these things. Besides, what are you asking for here? Justice? We never knew what justice is. Humanity? Our only pleasure is to violate the principles that humanity requires. Religion? Fart! The more we know about it, the more we despise it. Relatives? Friends? Judges? Dear girl, there are no such people in this place; you will only find selfishness, cruelty, lewdness and enduring profanity here God. Therefore, complete obedience is your only choice. Behold the airtight sanctuary you are in, a place where no stranger will ever appear. Even if the monastery is captured and burned, this hidden cave will still I can't find it. This lonely house is buried deep in the ground, and the six walls are unimaginably thick and tightly wrapped. My girl, you are among these four lustful people. Of course they don't want to let you go, you The entreaties, tears, words, kneels, or cries of God only arouse greater lust. Who then do you turn to? To God, whom you so fervently pray to? His reward for your zeal is only to push you further Trap. What can that unreal God, whose useless laws we violate here every day, and insult him in every possible way, do to us? Tyrese, you can imagine that there is no power, no matter how you imagine it. What is the nature of your nature, that can save you from our grasp. Nothing, no miracle, can continue to preserve the chastity you so proud of, and can prevent you from doing it in various ways. Be the plaything of the extreme lewdness that the four of us are going to have with you... Come on, bitch, take your clothes off! Offer up your flesh for our enjoyment and either let us ravage you immediately or suffer the most brutal abuse to prove to you What will happen to a miserable woman like you who is disobedient!" On hearing this, upon hearing such a terrible order, I understood at once that I was in a desperate situation, but was I not guilty if I did not use the only means my conscience dictated to me in such a situation?So, I knelt at Don Severino's feet, and my desperate heart burst out with endless words, begging him not to rape me.The most painful tears flowed on his knees, and everything I thought was the strongest, everything I believed to be the most touching, was poured out in an attempt to move the thug. ……Oh, God!What is the use of all this?Didn't I know that my tears are more of a charm in the eyes of this whore! Didn't I think that all I did to soften the hearts of these savages was only to make their desires more intense! "Take this whore..." said Severino, excited, "take her, Clement, and strip her naked at once, and let her know that with people like us, sympathy cannot suffocate passion." .” Clement was furious, excited by my resistance.He grabbed me in his strong arms, mingled with frightening insults in his words and actions, and tore off my clothes in an instant. Then, this shameless man pins me down on the couch in a disgusting pose that's good for their plans.Severino had two of his priests grab me and try to find the most tormenting, most womanizing, sinful and obscene ways to take it out on me.But maybe because this whore is too strong, maybe because nature rebels against me because of the disgust of this way, he can't overcome these obstacles, he comes up, he goes down again... He separates, squeezes, tears However, all his efforts were in vain.The devil was enraged, and with all his might trampled on the altar that his desire could not reach.He hit it, pinched it, bit it, and the savagery finally had its effect.The limp flesh was offered, the path opened, the ram plunged in, and I let out a piercing cry. Clement stepped forward again.He held a thorn in his hand, and there was a fierce intent in his eyes. "I come," he said to Severino, "to avenge you, my friend, for the self-righteous bitch who dared to resist your pleasure! I will teach her a lesson." He alone can hold me down.He wrapped his arms around me and pinned me on one of his knees.His knees were pressed against my stomach, so that what served his lust was more exposed to him.At first, he tried to whip a few times, as if he just wanted to have a prelude.However, soon, this cruel guy was so horny that he hit me with all his strength.The traitor of this religion was so cruel that he beat me from the waist to the top of my thigh.He also shamelessly mixes "love" into these moments of cruelty: his dog's muzzle pressed against mine, trying to breathe the gasp the pain makes me.My tears rolled down my face and he licked them all away.Sometimes he kissed, sometimes insulted, but his whipping never stopped.As he moved, another woman prodded him.The woman knelt at his feet, her hands constantly moving.The harder she moved, the harder he whipped.I'm torn apart, but he's still showing no signs of ending my pain.Finally, everyone is exhausted, but it's not over yet.The end I long for can only be the result of his madness, of finding a new cruelty.My breasts were in the hands of this villain, and it irritated him, he opened his mouth wide, bared his teeth, and bit my breasts, the bloody cannibal savage.This action strongly stimulated him, he had an attack, and the incense went out.With terrible shouts and terrible curses, the perverted monk dropped me at Jerome. Touching the blood-soaked altar of sacrifice, the whore said to me, "I am no more dangerous to your chastity than Clement. Yes, I will kiss the ravines, though I am perfectly entitled Open them. I want to respect them a little. I want something more," said the old pervert, sinking a finger into the place where Severino had gone, "I want the hen to lay eggs, I want to devour Its eggs...see if there are any eggs?...oh!...yes, damn it! so soft, my boy!..." He told me what to do, and I could only do it in disgust.In such a situation, alas!How can I say no?Shameless was quite pleased with me...he swallowed...then he made me kneel in front of him in a position where he was pressed against my body.His shameless lust was satisfied, and now I can't complain.While he was doing this, the fat woman was thrashing him, and another woman was brought to his mouth, performing the duties I had just been forced to perform. After about half an hour, my mouth finally received the disgusting homage of this despicable man.You can easily guess the disgust. Antonin came next. "Look," said he, "so pure a chastity, wounded by but one attack, can be seen." He wanted to use Clement's method.I told you that he loved the whipping as much as Clement.However, since he could no longer contain his lust, the situation his companion had put me in had stimulated him too much.He looked at me, satisfied.He made me pose in a pose they all liked very much, and then, shaking the temple gate frantically, he was in the hall in no time.Although his attack was as ferocious as Severino's, he was attacking a path that was not so narrow, so it was less difficult for me. Afterwards, Don Severino ordered the women to give me food, but I couldn't enjoy such care anyway. Anger and sadness soaked my heart.I place all my honor and happiness in my chastity, and if I can always remain chaste, I will be compensated for all my sufferings.So, I cannot tolerate being abused by people from whom I could have expected more help and comfort.I cried, my screams shook the ceiling, I rolled on the floor, I beat my chest, I tore my hair, I begged the executioners to come, begged them to kill me... Madam, can you believe it?The miserable sight only irritated them all the more. "Ah!" said Severino, "I have never seen a prettier scene. See, my friends, what she has done to me. It is unheard of for a woman's pain to do this to me!" "Let's fuck her again," said Clement, "to make her understand what is the result of howling like this, and let the whore be attacked again, so that she can taste it worse!" The plan was executed as soon as it was exported.I take it all.All the weight is on me alone.Severino gave the signal, and the other three followed closely, so, once again, I was vented by these whores and played to my heart's content. "That's enough for the first day," said the Abbot, "to show her that her companions are no better treated than she is." They put me on a high chair and forced me to watch from there another scandalous scene that ended their orgy. The monks stood in a row, and all the women passed in front of them one by one, receiving the whipping of each of them.While the executioners tortured and cursed them, they were forced to further arouse their sexual desires by any means possible. Finally, the director handed me over to that thirty-year-old woman of whom I have already spoken to you.Everyone called her Onfare, and she taught me and settled me in my new lodgings.对这样的安排，我一点也没看见，一点也没听见；我陷入极度的绝望之中，已失去知觉，只想稍稍休息一下。我隐约看见我被送入的房间里有晚饭时不曾见过的几个女人。我想第二天再察看这里有什么新情况吧，现在我只想休息。翁法蕾没再打扰我，自己上床睡觉去了。我刚躺上床，遭遇的种种不幸便以更悲惨的景象一一涌上心头、我自己遭受的各种猥亵以及目睹的那些淫秽场面一再出现，我再也无法平静。Oh, God!如果说有时候我迷失了方向，想象着男欢女爱的情景，但我认为这如同使之产生的上帝一样是纯洁的，是大自然赋与人类的慰藉，我认为这来自于爱和温情。我难以相信人和凶猛的野兽一样用虐待同类的办法来娱乐自己。然后，我又想到自己的命运为何如此不幸……噢，公正的上帝啊！我寻思着，现在已完全可以肯定，我心中产生的每一个道德行为总是立刻给我带来不幸！伟大的上帝啊！我想到这座修道院来尽点宗教义务，我犯了什么错呀？我想向上帝祈祷，难道却冒犯了上帝？天意令人不解，上帝啊，请您敞开胸怀，明确地告诉我您是不是想要我反抗您。这样思考着，我的泪水滚滚而下。天亮时，我的全身都被泪水湿透了。这时，翁法蕾来到我的床边。 “亲爱的朋友，”她对我说，“我来求你鼓起勇气来。我刚来的时候也和你一痛哭流涕，现在已经习惯了。你以后也会像我一样习惯的。开始总是可怕的，不只是要满足这些给我们的生活造成痛苦的淫棍们的情欲，更重要的是我们丧失了自由，他们用残酷的手段把我带到这可怕的房子里。” 不幸的人看到身旁还有不幸的人就会得到安慰。尽管我痛苦异常，还是暂时得到了一些慰藉，于是，请求这位女伴告诉我我还会遭到怎样的凌辱。