Chapter 4 -4

I have been in this family for four years and have been tormented by the same sorrow and comforted by the same passion.Until one day, this hateful man thought he could finally trust me, and dared to reveal his shameless intentions to me.At that time, we were in the countryside.The Marchioness was only served by me, and her first maid was allowed to stay in Paris in the summer to take care of some of her husband's affairs.One night, not long after I returned to my room, I was enjoying the cool air on the balcony of my bedroom. The weather was so hot that I couldn't go to sleep.At this moment the count knocked suddenly at the door, and begged me to let him in and talk to me.well!How could I refuse him, whom I valued even a moment of solitude with him, the evil that would be my future misfortune? He entered, closed the door carefully, and sat down in a chair beside me.

"Listen, Tyrese," he said to me, a little awkwardly, "I have something very important to tell you, and you've got to swear you won't reveal anything." "Oh, sir," I answered, "how can you think I should betray your confidence?" "If it turns out that I was wrong in trusting you, you don't know what risk you will take!" "My worst apprehension is to lose your confidence, and I need no more serious warning from you." "Well, Tyrese, I've made up my mind to kill my aunt! I'll borrow your hand to do it."

"My hand!" I cried, recoiling in terror. "Oh, sir, how could you conceive of such a plan! . . . No, no, my life is at your disposal if you want it, but Never imagine me doing such a monstrous thing as you propose." The count dragged me back calmly, "Listen, Therese," I already knew you would hate this, but since you are so smart, I am willing to believe that you will overcome and convince yourself... You prove that what appears to you to be a crime is in fact a very simple matter. "Terris, two crimes are shown in front of you who have no philosophical mind. One is to destroy a creature of the same kind as us, and the other is that since this creature is very close to us, destroying her will increase the crime. It is a crime to say that it is a crime to destroy our own kind. My dear little girl, please believe that this is pure nonsense. God has not bestowed the ability of human beings to destroy. At most, human beings only have the ability to change forms, but human beings do not have the ability to destroy .for to nature all forms are the same.In its transformation nothing is lost.Every matter that falls into it is continually erupted in other forms,whatever we do Nature will not be offended in any form, and nature will not be offended in any way. The destruction we inflict only revives the power of nature, and its vitality is more vigorous, and it will not be a little less. Nature does not would be hampered by it.... Yes, what does it matter to his ever-creating powers that this pile of flesh forms a two-legged man one day, and another insect of a different kind? Should he have paid more attention to the construction of this two-legged animal than the construction of a worm? Well, if the degree of this attention or indifference is the same, what is the use of a man's knife? What does it matter to him that another man turns into a fly or a blade of grass? If anyone can convince me of the supremacy of our species, and prove to me the importance of human beings in the eyes of nature, such a transformation must irritate him greatly. I would have considered murder a crime. But when the most thoughtful research has shown me that all that exists on this earth, and the most imperfect works of nature, are to him of equal value, I shall would never admit that the transformation of one of these beings into a thousand other species would confuse his intentions. I said to myself: All human beings, all animals, all plants grow in the same way, eat each other, and destroy each other , reproduce each other, absolutely did not accept real death, but accepted a simple change that changes them. I would also say: everything that appears today in one form will reappear in another form after a few years, and can follow the creation The will of their creation transforms thousands of forms in a single day, without disturbing any of the laws of nature. The changer has only done a good thing, because in dissolving some individuals, their basis has become What nature needs. It is nothing more than to return creativity to nature by this unjustly considered criminal act, which can only be used if people dare not even disturb a little out of stupid indifference. Nature loses its creativity. Oh Teres, it is only the arrogance of man that makes murder a crime. Such a vain creature thinks he is the lord of all things, and self-confidence is the most essential, and therefore asserts that its destruction is heinous behavior. In fact, his vanity and dementia will not change the laws of nature in any way. There is no man who does not feel in his heart a strong desire to get rid of the person who hinders him, or his demise will be beneficial to him, and, Tai Reese, youThink about it, from this desire to taking action, is there a big distance between this?Besides, if these impressions of ours come from nature, how can they be supposed to annoy nature?How could nature make us want to destroy it?what!Be assured, dear girl, that all that we feel is in his service, that the impulses he implants in us communicate his laws, and that man's passions are but the means employed by nature to her ends.It needs individuality, so it instills in us eros, and there is procreation; destruction being necessary to it, it implants in us vengeance, miserliness, fornication, ambition, and there is murder.But it always works for itself, and so we are unknowingly instruments of its capricious will.

"Alas! no, no, Teres, no, nature forbids the crime of our hand from disturbing its harmonious arrangement. Does it think that the weakest really offend the strongest? We and What is it to do with it? How could it, when it created us, bury within us a thought capable of injuring it? Is this foolish supposition consistent with the noble and sure means we see employed for its ends? ?Ah! How could murder be allowed to be accomplished if it were not an act of man which better accomplishes its purpose? Wherefore, what harm is done to nature by doing the same? It is every day to see man do to his fellow man How can it feel offended by what man does? Since it has been shown that it can only be regenerated through destruction, without ceasing

Doesn't destruction act precisely from its point of view?In this sense, he who is most devoted to destruction will undoubtedly be the one who serves it best, because he is best able to assist it in realizing the purpose it manifests at every moment.The first and best quality of nature consists in the impulse which continually drives it, and this impulse is a continuous series of crimes by which it is kept in motion.The man who is most like it, and therefore the most perfect, must be the one who initiates many crimes with the most active mental activity, while, I repeat, the inactive or insensitive man, that is to say, the moral man It must have seemed the most imperfect of men, since he was inclined only to indifference and calm.If his descendants overcome him, indifference and calm will immediately plunge everything back into the abyss of chaos.Balance must be maintained, and only crime can be used to maintain balance. Therefore, crime serves nature, and nature requires and needs crime, so how can crime offend nature?If not against nature, what can be violated?

"However, it is my aunt I shall destroy... Oh Teres, how insignificant these relations seem to philosophers! They are so slight that they are not even worth mentioning to you. These contemptible Chains are only the result of our legal and political institutions, and what are they to nature? "Terris, put your prejudice aside! Serve me, and I will guarantee you prosperity and wealth." Terrified, I replied: "Oh, sir, the natural indifference you conceive is the result of your sophistry. Listen to your inner voice, and you will hear how it condemns the I beg you to accept the trial of your soul. Isn't that the sanctuary of nature, where the nature you have offended requires you to go and listen to its voice and obey its commands? If nature thinks that what you have planned Crime is the most terrible act, and do you agree that committing such a crime should be punished? I know, desire shades your eyes now, but once desire is gone, how far will remorse tear you apart? The more you Sensitive, guilty stimuli hurt you more... Oh! Sir, don't take the life of that tender, precious friend, let her go! Don't kill her, or you will die of despair! Every day, every hour , every moment, you will see her before your eyes - this dear aunt sent to the grave by your blind anger. You will hear her plaintive voice still speaking the sweet words of your childhood joy. When you are awake When she appears, she will torture you in your sleep. She will tear open the wound you caused her with her bloody fingers. From then on, no happiness will illuminate the earth for you, and all your happiness All will be confused. God whose power you have not yet known will send vengeance and will avenge the life you destroyed, poisoning your life forever. Before you have had time to enjoy your crime, you will be Remorse for having the audacity to commit these crimes and die!"

I said these words with tears in my eyes, and knelt at the Count's feet.I beg him, with all holiest things, to forget this ignominious intention of a momentary lapse.I do not know how far lust can promote evil in such a corrupt soul.The Count stood up icily. "I think I've got the wrong man, Therese," he said to me. "I'm as angry with you as I am with myself. Never mind, I'll find another way. You're going to lose a lot, and your The mistress will not benefit at all from it." This threat changed all my thinking.If I do not consent to the crime he proposes to me, I shall lose greatly myself, and my mistress must still be destroyed; if I agree to complicate with him, I shall not offend him, and shall surely save his aunt's life.This one fleeting thought made me decide to accept it all.However, such a quick change of heart might arouse suspicion, so I deliberately delayed the surrender.I asked the count to repeat his sophistry, and I gradually showed that I was powerless to refute, and Brisac thought I was persuaded.I pretended that the force of his sophistry overwhelmed me, and finally surrendered.The count threw himself into my arms with excitement, and how comfortable I would have been if this movement had been for other reasons! ... what can I say?There is no time, for his ugliness, his savage designs, have extinguished all emotion that my feeble mind could conceive, and I see him but a demon.

"You were the first woman I embraced," said the count to me, "and, indeed, I embraced you with my whole soul.  … You are so kind, my little girl, to say so, the light of wisdom penetrating your thoughts! How could such a beautiful head of yours be so long in darkness?" Then we discussed a plan of action.After two or three days, sooner or later, according to my convenience, I put the sachet of poison that Brisac had given me into the chocolate mug that Madame was accustomed to drink every morning.The count promised to leave the rest of the matter to him, and promised to give me a contract of two thousand crowns annuity when it was done.He and I made these promises, but didn't make it clear how I would enjoy them.Then, we broke up.

In the meantime, something so unexpected happened that it was quite enough to allow you to see through the hideous soul of the demons I dealt with, and I must tell you right away that I had to interrupt the narrative,—you must be anxious to know this into which I was involved. How the plot ends. On the third day of our criminal agreement, the count learned that one of his uncles had just bequeathed him an annuity of eighty thousand livres, from whom he had no hope of inheriting... Alas!God, I said to myself when I heard the news, is this how the just God punishes evil plots? Cursing God like this, I immediately repented and fell on my knees and asked forgiveness, thinking that this sudden situation would at least change The Earl's plan... I was very, very wrong!

"Ah! my dear Therese," he said to me, coming to my room that evening, "luck has come to my head up!Have I not often told you that evil thoughts, or crimes, are the surest means of happiness? Only the wicked are lucky. " "Ah! what, sir?" I replied, "has not this unexpected fortune made you resolve to wait patiently?" "Wait?!" the count said decisively, "I can't even wait a minute! Tyrese, have you ever thought that I'm twenty-eight years old, and it's hard to wait at this age... No, this can't change at all Our plans, please, reassure me, I want everything to be over before we return to Paris... Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow at the latest. . . . Annuity's action...it's a little late..."

I tried my best to hide the horror that this madness caused me, and I had to make up my mind again.I am sure that if I do not carry out the crime that the Count has set me to commit, he will soon find out that I have played him.Had I warned Madame Bressac of even the slightest revelation of this evil plan, the count would have felt deceived, and would have immediately resorted to more certain measures, as would have killed his aunt, and had just as much vengeance on me. .So I decided to inform the Marchioness, which I thought was the best course, and I took it. The day after this conversation with the count, I went to my lady and said: "Madame, I have something very important to tell you, but, although it is a matter of life and death for you, if you do not promise in advance that you will not tell me Your nephew expresses his indignation at his audacious crime, and I resolve to say nothing. . . . You can act, madam, in the best way possible, but don't utter a word. Promise me that you will No I won't say anything." Mrs. Bressac, thinking it was her nephew's usual mischief, acquiesced to my request, and I told her all.The poor woman burst into tears when she learned of this despicable act. "The devil!" she cried, "I spare no effort for his own good! I want to prevent his evil, and correct his evil, and what other motive can I have? It is only for his good that I be hard on him. Can he get the inheritance he has just inherited without my intervention? Ah! Therese, Therese, prove to me that this scheme you speak of is true, beyond my doubts. I need everything, with To completely annihilate all feelings that my deluded heart still has for this demon..." So I showed her the packet of poison, and there was no better proof.The Marchioness wanted to make an experiment, and we gave a dog a very small dose of poison, and shut him up.In less than two hours, it died in painful convulsions.Madame Bressac, no longer in doubt, made up her mind: she ordered me to give her the remainder of the poison, and she immediately wrote to send a messenger to her relative, the Duke of Sundsvall, asking him to go quietly to the minister Go there, and report to him the atrocity that is about to murder her nephew, and then, tell him to get back a letter with the king's seal, and come to her land as soon as possible, and get rid of the criminal who plotted her death as soon as possible. However, this heinous crime succeeded.It must be an inconceivable God that allows the schemes of villains to triumph over virtue after all.The animal we tested revealed everything to the Count.He heard the barking of the dog, and he knew that his aunt liked the dog very much, so he asked what was the matter.The person he asked knew nothing and could not give him a definite answer.At this time, he had doubts.Although he said nothing, I could see that he was restless.I reported this situation to the Marquis, and she panicked even more, but she couldn't think of any other way, only to urge the messenger to leave as soon as possible, and to cover up the mission of the messenger as closely as possible.She told her nephew that she had sent someone to Paris as soon as possible to ask the Duke of Sundsvall to take care of the succession of his uncle who had just died, because if no one was present, there would be a danger of a lawsuit.She added that she had asked the duke to come and explain the situation to her, so that she could decide to go to Paris with her nephew if the occasion required it.The Earl is good at observing facial expressions, and he immediately noticed that my aunt was embarrassed, and at the same time, he also noticed that there was something abnormal on my face.He decided to take more precautions at all costs.On the pretext of going for a walk, he left the castle and waited where the messenger must pass.The messenger was more loyal to the earl, and he handed over the letter to the earl without hesitation.Bressac, believing what he said I had betrayed him, gave the man a hundred louis, and ordered him never to appear in his aunt's house again.He returned to the castle full of anger, but he restrained himself, and when he met me, he talked sweetly to me as usual, and asked if I was going to start the next day, and pointed out to me that it must be done before the duke arrived, Then, calmly and calmly, he went to sleep.I didn't know anything at the time and was completely in the dark.If, as he afterwards told me, this dreadful crime had been accomplished, it would undoubtedly have been his own doing, but how he did it I do not know.I've made a lot of speculations, but what's the use of telling you?Or the cruel treatment I received for not wanting to do it.The day after the messenger was intercepted, Madame drank her chocolate as usual, got up, dressed, only looked a little excited, and then she sat down at the table.I had hardly come out of the house when the count approached me. "Therese," he said to me, with the utmost composure, "I have found a more reliable method of carrying out our plan than I have suggested to you. But let me say that I cannot go to your room very often, shall I?" , you wait for me in the corner of the manor at five o'clock sharply, I will go to you, we will go for a walk in the woods together, and I will explain everything to you during the walk." Madame, I must confess to you that, either by the will of God, or because I was too naive, or because I was too blind, in short, nothing made me aware of the misfortunes that awaited me.I myself felt that the secrecy was so well guarded, and that the Marquise's arrangement was so perfect, that I could not imagine that the count had been aware of it.However, I was still a little uncomfortable. "Treason against crime is a virtue." A French tragedy writer said so.And yet, to a delicate, sensitive soul who had to betray a crime, broken promises were always repulsive.So, I'm going to play a role that embarrasses me so much . Anyway, I went as promised.The count soon came too.He walked towards me with a relaxed expression on his face.We walked towards the forest, nothing happened, he talked and laughed and joked with me as he usually does with me.When I tried to turn the conversation to why he asked me to talk, he always told me to wait a while, saying that we were not safe enough because we were worried that someone would notice us.Before I knew it, I walked up to the four trees where I had been tied up.When I saw this place, I trembled with fright, and the horrible and tragic scene suddenly came back to me.Please think how terrified I was when I saw this place of death again! Several ropes were hanging from one tree, and some English giant dogs were tied under the other three trees, with their bloody mouths wide open. The foam sprayed straight, as if it was only waiting for me, and it was about to pounce on me for a full meal.One of the earl's confidants watched over them. He yelled, "Bitch! Do you know this place? I saved your life by dragging you out of the bushes like a wild dog... Do you remember these trees? I told you once You made me regret my good deed, and I'm going to tie you up again! Since you intend to betray me, why do you accept my request to kill your aunt? How can you think of sacrificing your savior's freedom In exchange for the service of virtue? Since you must choose between these two crimes, why did you choose the most heinous crime?" "My God! Didn't I choose the least crime?" The count was furious, grabbed my arm, shook me violently, and shouted: "You should refuse! Yes, there is no doubt that you should refuse, and you should refuse so as not to betray me." Then Bressac related to me what he had done to intercept the lady's confidential letters, and how the suspicions which prompted him to intercept them arose. He continued, "Shameless bitch, what have you done with your hypocrisy! Do you think you can save my aunt's life by risking your life? I've already done it. When I return to the castle, You will see the result, and you must die. Before you die, you must understand that the moral path is not always the surest path, and that there are situations in the world where it is better to be an accomplice to a crime than to expose a crime. Much more profitable." He gave me no time to answer, and showed no sympathy for my miserable situation.He dragged me to the tree to which he was tying me, where his cronies were waiting. "This is the woman," he said to his confidant, "that is the woman who intends to poison my aunt, and who has presumably committed the crime, in spite of my best efforts to stop her. I should certainly bring her to court, and she will I will lose my life, but I want to let her live and make her suffer more." So these two thugs seized me, and in a few moments stripped me naked. "Beautiful ass!" sneered the count with the utmost cruelty, rubbing my ass savagely. "What a fat meat! Enough for my dog ​​to eat!" They stripped me naked and tied me around the waist with rope so that my arms could still move and I could resist as best I could.As the rope was long enough, I could dodge within about six feet.Seeing me like this, the count was very excited, and came to check my expression.He circled around me, rubbing and pinching me vigorously, as if his hurting hands were crazily competing with the sharp teeth of the dog for my flesh. "Come on," he said to his cronies, "let the dogs go, it's time." The dogs were let go, and the earl encouraged them, and the three dogs rushed at my poor body at the same time, as if they wanted to share and eat them. No part of my body could escape their crazy attack.It is useless for me to blast them away, they will only bite me more violently.In the midst of this dreadful process, Brassac, shameless Brassac, it seemed as though my pain had kindled his contemptible lust.... While admiring me, he gave himself to that confidant, to be caressed sinfully . After a few minutes he said, "That's enough, leash the dogs and let the bitch suffer!" As he cut the rope that bound me, he said to me: "Okay! Therese, do you see? Morality often pays a higher price. If you don't think about it, an annuity of two thousand crowns is no better than being bitten." Wouldn't it be better to be covered in bruises?" Given my miserable state at the time, I couldn't hear what he said.I collapsed under a tree and almost lost consciousness. My pain infuriated the villain, and he said, "I saved your life, and I am kind enough. At least you must be careful to use your kindness..." Then he ordered me to stand up, put on my clothes, and leave this place as soon as possible.Because my whole body was covered with blood, in order to keep my only remaining clothes from being polluted, I tore off some green grass to wipe off the blood and make myself clean.My body was swollen and bleeding profusely, and I had to endure severe pain.All this made it almost impossible for me to dress, but the villain--the villain who had treated me so cruelly, for whom I could have given my life before, did not bother to show me the slightest pity.As soon as I finished packing, he said to me: "Go away, go where you like. You should have some money, and I won't take it. But, please, don't be in any of my houses in the city or the country again! There are two powerful There are reasons against you to do so. First of all, the matter that you thought was over is not over. They tell you that the lawsuit no longer exists, but they are actually leading you astray. The arrest warrant is not cancelled. See what you do. Secondly, the public will know that you are the murderer of the Marchioness. If she still has breath, I will let her take this opinion to the grave, and the whole family will know. It will not be one thing but two A case awaits you, and your adversary is no longer the usurer, but a rich and powerful man who is determined to drive you to hell if you abuse the life he left you out of mercy. .” "Oh, sir," I answered, "however harshly you have treated me, do not doubt my conduct in the slightest. When your aunt's life is concerned, I think you should be against you; but if it concerns only unfortunate Therese , I will never take action against you. Farewell, sir, and may your crimes make you happy as your cruelty makes me miserable! Whatever fate God wills me, as long as I live, I will Will pray for you for the rest of my miserable life." Hearing what I said, the count raised his head and couldn't help looking me up and down.He saw me staggering, tears streaming down my face, big Probably he was afraid of being excited, and the cruel villain hurried away and disappeared immediately. At this time, I was completely occupied by pain.I fell under a tree and let the pain run wild.My painful groans resounded through the forest, my scarred body crouched on the ground, tears poured down like rain, watering the grass. "Oh my God!" I cried aloud, "it is your will! It is your eternal will that the innocent should become the prey of murderers. Lord, I obey your command, and I suffer far less than What you have suffered for us. May what I have endured to worship you will someday make me worthy of the reward you promise to the weak—so long as the weak remember you through suffering and praise you in their suffering! " As night fell, I could barely stand, and it was impossible to walk very far.I glanced at the bushes where I had lain four years earlier in nearly equally miserable circumstances.I scrambled towards it as best I could, and settled in the former position.The wound was still bleeding, I was tortured by pain, my heart was wounded, and my heart was full of grief, so I passed the cruelest night that anyone can imagine. At daybreak, my youth and strong will gave me some strength.The vicinity of this cruel castle frightened me, and I hastened away from the place.I went out of the forest, determined to find a house where I could find it, and take my lodging.I walked to the town of Saint-Marcel, five leagues from Paris.I asked where the surgeon's house was, and it was pointed out to me, and I asked him to bandage my wound.I told him that I ran away from my mother's house in Paris because of love. I met robbers in the forest at night. I desperately resisted their desire to rape me. In order to get revenge, they let the dogs bite me like this. The doctor's name is Roden.He examined me very carefully and thought that my injuries were not dangerous. He also said that if I had come to his house at that time, he promised that within two weeks I would be as fine as before the accident.However, the overnight time worsened my wound and it took a month to heal.Rawdon let me live in his house and took good care of me. After a month, sure enough, I had no trace of Bressac's cruel torture. As soon as I was able to go out to get some fresh air, my first haste was to go to the town and find a clever girl, and ask her to go to the Marchioness's castle and find out all that had happened since I was gone.Curiosity was not really what made me decide to take this action, and such curiosity seemed dangerous and totally inappropriate.The real reason is that the money I earned at the Marchioness stayed in my room, and now I have only six louis with me, and far more than forty louis at the chateau.I cannot imagine the Earl being so cruel in denying me what is so legitimately mine.Convinced that he would not be so unjust to me when his anger subsided, I wrote him as tactfully as I could.I was careful not to tell him where I lived, and begged him to give me back my few rags and my money in my room.I entrusted the letter to a vivacious twenty-five-year-old peasant girl, and she promised me to find out more about the situation secretly so that I could meet my different needs when I came back.I made it clear to her that it was vital for me to be aware of these situations.I enjoined her again and again not to reveal the name of the place where I was, or to mention me at all costs, but to say that the letter had been brought by a man fifteen leagues away. The girl went, and twenty-four hours later she brought a reply.The letter is still with me, Madame, but before you read it, let me tell you what happened to the Count's house after I left. The Marchioness of Bressac fell seriously ill on the day I left the castle, and died on the third day in terrible pain and convulsions.Relatives came, and her nephew, who looked terribly distressed, claimed that one of her maids had poisoned her, and that the woman had fled that day.Everyone searched everywhere, meaning that if they found her, they would let her die.In addition, the Earl was richer than he had imagined due to his inheritance, and the Marquise's safe, purses, jewels, and all other treasures that he did not know belonged to his nephew.So, in addition to his original income, he suddenly owned more than six hundred thousand francs in kind and in cash.It was said that the young man had difficulty concealing his joy in the agony of affectation.Relatives were summoned, and the Marchioness's body was dissected, as the Count had requested.They mourned the marquise's unfortunate fate, and vowed to cut her to pieces if the criminal was caught, and then left the count to enjoy the fruits of sin to his heart's content.Mr. Bressac also spoke to the girl himself, and asked her various questions.The young girl's answer was so frank and firm that he made up his mind to give her the reply without asking too many questions. Thérèse handed the letter to Mrs. Lausange, and said: "Here is the letter, yes, this is it, Madam, sometimes my heart needs it, and I will keep it until I die. Please See, if you can refrain from trembling, read this letter." Madame Lausange took the letter from the girl who had gone through all kinds of hardships and dangers, and read the following words: There is a wicked woman who dared to poison my aunt and write to me after committing this heinous crime.She concealed her hiding place as best she could, presumably believing that if we found her, there would be no good end for her! How dare she ask for it! What money is she talking about! What she left here can be worth For the crime she committed when she was in our house? Tell her not to send any more letters, or the messenger will be arrested until the court knows where the murderer is hiding. "Go on, my dear boy," said Madame Lausange, returning the letter to Therese, "this is a heinous conduct! An unfortunate little girl who never thought of committing a crime, only begged to return her It is an unheard of, unreasonable and despicable act for that person to refuse the legitimate income of the man who has so much money.” "Ah! ma'am." Therese went on to tell her story.