Chapter 25 Chapter 25

Armand's long narration is often interrupted by tears.He was very tired from talking, and after handing me a few pages of the diary written by Marguerite himself, he put his hands on his forehead and closed his eyes, maybe he was meditating, or maybe he wanted to sleep for a while. After a while, I heard him breathing more rapidly, which meant that Armand had fallen asleep, but not so deeply, and a slight sound would wake him up. Here is what I saw, which I transcribed verbatim: Today is December 15th, and I have been sick for three or four days.I lie in bed this morning, the sky is cloudy, I am sad; there is no one around me, and I am thinking of you, Armand.And you, where were you when I wrote these lines?I was told that you are so far away from Paris that perhaps you have forgotten Marguerite.All in all, good luck to you, you have given me some of the only moments of joy in my life.

I can't bear it any longer, I want to explain my past behavior to you, I have already written you a letter, but a letter written by a girl like me may be regarded as It is full of lies; unless I die, and by the authority of death sanctifies the letter; unless it is not an ordinary letter, but a confession, no one will believe it. Today I am sick, and I may die of it.Because I always had a premonition that my life would not be too long.My mother died of tuberculosis, the only inheritance she bequeathed to me; and my usual way of life only aggravated it.I don't want to die quietly without you finding out all about me, in case when you come back you still miss that poor girl you loved before you left.

The following is the content of this letter, which I am very glad to rewrite in order to give a fresh proof of my defense. Armand, do you remember?How at Bougival we were startled by the news of your father's arrival; do you remember the involuntary terror which your father's arrival aroused in me; do you remember what you told me that night about you? What happened with him. The next day, while you were still waiting for your father in Paris, but he never came back, a man came to my house and handed me a letter from M. Duval. This letter, which I am enclosing herewith, asks me, in the most solemn terms, to send you away the next day under excuses, in order to receive your father; Actions tell you.

You remember how, after your return, I insisted that you go to Paris the next day. An hour after you left, your father came.I don't need to tell you more about the impression his stern face made on me.Your father is full of old ideas, he thinks all whores are heartless, irrational creatures, they are a money-making machine, like a machine made of steel, they will be handed to it at any time It is crushed by the hands of the gods, and those who maintain it and those who drive it are crushed mercilessly and regardless of good or bad. Your father wrote me a very decent letter to get my consent to receive him; but when he came he was not as polite as his letter said.At the start of the conversation he was so overbearing, insolent and even threatening that I had to make him understand that this was in my family and I wouldn't have if it weren't for my genuine affection for his son I need to report my private life to him.

Mr. Duval calmed down a little, but he still told me that he could no longer allow his son to ruin my fortune for me.He said that I am beautiful, which is true, but no matter how beautiful I am, I should not use my beauty to spend money and sacrifice the future of a young man. There can only be one thing to answer this question, can't it?I can only give evidence that, since I became your mistress, I have sacrificed everything in order to remain faithful to you without demanding more money from you than you can afford.I showed him the pawn ticket, I sold some things I couldn't pawn, I showed him the buyer's receipt, and I told your father, in order to live with you without being your overweight burden, I have decided to sell my furniture to pay off the debt.I told him about our happiness, about the calmer and happier life you told me about, and he finally understood, stretched out his hand, and begged me to forgive him for the way he had treated me at first.

Then he said to me: "Then, Madame, I am asking you, not by accusations and threats, but by a request to make a sacrifice greater than what you have already made for my son." I trembled all over when I heard this opening line. Your father came up to me, took both my hands, and continued kindly: "My child, don't think in a bad light of what I am about to tell you; but understand that life is sometimes cruel to the soul, but it is a necessity and must be endured. You have a good heart, and you There are many good thoughts in your soul that ordinary women do not have. They may look down on you, but they are not as good as you. But please think about it, a person has a family besides a mistress; Responsibility; to think of a man who has passed the passionate stage of life to the stage where he needs to be respected requires a solid and dependable position. My son has no property, yet he intends to inherit him from his mother To you the property that came to you. If he accepts the sacrifice you are about to make, he may, out of honor and dignity, give you his property in return. With this property, life will never suffer. But he cannot accept this sacrifice of yours, because society does not know you, and people will think that accepting your sacrifice may come from a dishonorable reason, so as to disgrace my lintel. People don't care whether Armand loves you or not, you Love him or not; one does not care whether this reciprocal love is a blessing to him, or a sign of a new life to you; people only see one thing, that Armand Duval can bear a Whore, my child, please forgive what I have to say to you, put up with a whore who sells everything for him. The rest of the day is all about complaining and remorse, believe it, for you and others All the same, you two are put in a chain that you can never break. What will you do then? Your youth will be gone, my son's future will be ruined; and I, his father, I waited For the reward of two children, there can only be one child to repay me.

"You are young and beautiful, and life will comfort you; you are noble, and one good deed will atone for many of your past sins. Armand has only known you for six months, and he has forgotten me. I wrote to him Four letters, he never thought of writing a reply to me, maybe he didn't know I was dead! "Armand loves you so much that no matter how determined you are to live no longer as you have in the past, he will never allow you to suffer because of his poor condition, which does not match your beauty. Yes. Who knows what he'll do then! I know he's gambling, and I know he hasn't told you; but he's likely to have me hoarded for years in a moment of passion. I lost part of my money. The money was saved for my daughter’s dowry, for Armand, and for me to have a quiet old age when I was old, and I had to prepare for other unexpected things that might happen.

"Besides, are you sure that you will never miss the life you gave up for him? You loved him, are you sure you will never love anyone else again? As you grow older, if Don't you feel pain when dreams of love give way to ambitious ambitions, and your relationship will create obstacles in your lover's life that you may not be able to overcome? Madame, you want all this Consider that you love Armand, and you can prove your love to him only in this way: by sacrificing your love for his future. Nothing bad has happened yet, but it will happen later, perhaps more than I Expect worse. Armand may be jealous of a man who once loved you, he will provoke him, he will fight with him, and he will be killed in the end. Just think, then, in front of me, How miserable you will be in the presence of a father who holds you accountable for his son's life!

"Anyway, my child, tell you everything, because I haven't told everything, why I came to Paris, I have a daughter, I told you about her just now, she Young and beautiful, pure as an angel. She is in love, and she is also thinking of this love as the dream of her life. I wrote all this to Armand, but he has all his thoughts on you, He didn't write me back. Now my daughter is getting married, she's going to marry the man she loves, she's going to go into a decent family, the family wants to be the same. My future son-in-law's family knows that Armand is in Paris declaring to me that if Armand continues to live like this, they will withdraw their words. The future of a girl is in your hands, she has never offended you, and she deserves a good Future.

"Do you have the right to destroy her beautiful future life? Can you do it? Since you love Armand, since you regret your mistakes, Marguerite, give me my daughter's happiness." My friend, I can only swallow my breath in the face of these situations which I have thought over and over again in the past, and the fact that these things come from your father's mouth proves that they are very real.I was thinking about all the things your father has said so many times but dared not say to me: I am nothing more than a whore, and no matter how reasonable I say it, the relationship always seems like a selfish one. intend; my past life has given me no right to dream of such a future, and I must be responsible for the consequences of my habits and my reputation.In short, I love you, Armand.M. Duval's paternal attitude towards me, the pure affection I had for him, the respect I was about to earn from this upstanding old man, the respect I am sure I will receive from you, all this All aroused in me a sublime thought which made me worth in my own eyes, and produced in me a holy pride which I had never known before.When I think that this old man who is pleading with me for his son's future will one day tell his daughter to pray my name as that of a mysterious friend, my mind is in a very different state than it used to be, My heart is full of pride.

The veracity of these impressions may have been exaggerated by the frenzy of the moment, but that was what I really thought at the time.My friend, the remembrance of the happy days with you persuaded me from the other side, too, but with these new affections I can no longer heed these counsels. "Well, sir," I said to your father, wiping away my tears, "do you believe that I love your son?" "I do," said M. Duval. "Is it a selfless love?" "yes." "I used to see this love as the hope, the dream, the comfort of my life. Do you believe it?" "trust it completely." "Then sir, kiss me as you kiss your daughter, I swear to you. The only truly pure kiss I've ever had will give me strength over love, and within a week your son will be back with you , he may suffer for a time, but he is saved from now on." "You are a noble girl," said your father, kissing my forehead. "You are going to do something that God will approve, but I am afraid that you will have nothing to do with my son." "Oh, don't worry, sir, he'll hate me." There must be an insurmountable barrier between us, for me and for you. I wrote to Prudence, telling her that I had accepted M. N.'s request, and told her to tell the count that I would have supper with them both. I will seal the letter without telling your father what is in it, and I will ask him to have the letter addressed when he arrives in Paris. But he still asked me what I wrote in the letter? "It's about your son's happiness," I replied. Your father kissed me one last time.I felt two tears of gratitude fall on my forehead, like a baptism for my past mistakes.Just as I had just agreed to commit myself to another man, I glowed with pride at the thought of what I had redeemed with this new mistake. This is very natural, Armand; you once told me that your father was the most upright man in the world. M. Duval got into his carriage and went away. But I am a woman after all, when I saw you again, I couldn't help crying, but I didn't waver. Today I am sick in bed, and I may not be able to leave this bed until I die.I was thinking to myself, "Am I doing it right?" As the time we had to say goodbye drew closer, I felt you saw it first hand.Your father is no longer there, there is no one to support me.How frightened I was to think that you were going to hate me and despise me, and for a moment I almost told you everything. One thing you may not believe, Armand, is that I ask God to give me strength.God has given me the strength to ask him, and this is proof that he accepts my sacrifice. I still needed help at that supper time, because I didn't want to know what I was going to do, and how I was afraid I'd lose my nerve! Who would believe me, Marguerite Gautier, should be so sad at the thought of a new lover? In order to forget everything, I drank a lot of wine, and woke up the next day in the earl's bed. That's the whole truth, friend, be your judge.Forgive me, as I have forgiven you for all the suffering you have given me since that day.