Chapter 6 Section 5 Various wedding ceremonies

After young men and women have a sweet love, or are ordered by their parents, after they get engaged, they have reached the stage of marriage.All ethnic groups regard this major event in life as a symbol of "prosperous population and continuous descendants", and it has become an important event full of celebration and joy.Etiquette varies from person to person. The wedding handed down by Genghis Khan, is our happiest time, Let us on the vast grassland, Sing loudly. Along with the folk song floating on the Ordos Plateau, a team of horses in costumes surrounded the groom and rushed to the bride's house.

At this moment, the bride's house closed the door of the yurt tightly, showing a posture of refusing to marry.At this time, a well-spoken best man came out of the welcoming team and told the bridesmaids and bridesmaids: On a certain day in a certain year and a certain month, a certain person married your girl. Today is an auspicious day, and we are here to marry you.Then the bridesmaids sang: What symbolizes innocence? What marks happiness and prosperity? What is such a gift? Can you take it to the girl's house? The best man sings back: The pure and white fresh milk in the morning,

Sweeter at noon, At night it turns into mellow ghee, Bring all this precious gift. The bridesmaids will open the door to invite them into the yurt only after the best man answers the questions fluently.The groom kowtows to the Buddha statue, and then presents Hada, shochu and other gifts to his parents-in-law.After dressing up, the bride rides a horse around the yurt where she was born three times in the toast song to send off her relatives, and bids farewell to her parents and sisters who live together day and night.Then go to the man's house with the welcoming and seeing off team. Along the way, both men and women chased for fun and leaped forward, hoping to get to the man's house first.In order to let the bride take the lead, the sender often picks the groom's hat on the ground with a horsewhip and asks the groom to get off the horse to pick it up.But the man also has a unique trick. He holds a banquet not far from home to entertain the woman. The sender and the bride have to get off their horses and drink, while the groom arrives home first.

When they arrive at the in-law’s house, the bride and groom circle the yurt three times, then get off their horses, and pass through two piles of fire with whips, to express the unswerving love, and also include people’s wishes for the new couple to avoid evil, eliminate disasters, and prosper.Walking into the bag, the couple bows down to the Buddha statue and the groom's parents, and then the bride meets with relatives and friends one by one, presenting Hada and gifts to each other; the groom also salutes the bride's relatives.At the wedding banquet, the groom holds the flagon in his hand, and the bride holds a cup to toast one by one.People drink, sing, dance... Sometimes the wedding banquet can last for several days.

The number of Hezhen people must be an odd number to welcome their relatives, and it is an even number to welcome a bride.The time to worship heaven and earth should be at dawn, and they believe that dawn is a symbol of prosperity.After paying homage to heaven and earth, the couple enters the bridal chamber to pay homage to their ancestors for three generations. Then, the elders in the relatives should teach the bride, telling her to respect her in-laws, respect her husband, live diligently, and not be lazy.After the training, the bride knelt down to worship the ancestors again, and listened respectfully to the elders praying to the ancestors: the new daughter-in-law is here, the ancestors should discipline them well, and bless the whole family with happiness... Then the bride worshiped the Kitchen God, and the elders taught again: "I can't leave here for the rest of my life. It’s not easy to burn, you can’t lose your temper, and you have to heat the kang for the elderly every day... At the wedding banquet, the groom eats the pig’s head, and the bride eats the pig’s tail, which means that from now on, the husband will lead, the wife will follow, and the husband will sing and the wife will follow.

The welcoming team of the Dongxiang nationality usually arrives at the bride's home in the morning.They brought with them a new suit for the bride, a hijab, a wooden comb and a grate, as well as several catties of walnuts, red dates and sugar cubes. After enjoying the woman's delicious food, read "Nikaha"-marriage testimony, and the marriage ceremony begins.What's interesting is that it wasn't a newlywed couple who listened to the imam [hong hong] read the testimony, but the groom and his father-in-law.The bride and other female relatives all avoided showing it. After reading Nikaha, the relatives distribute the red dates, walnuts and other fruits they brought to the onlookers to show auspiciousness and joy.The groom and a best man send combs and combs to the bride who is busy dressing up, and give "hair combing money" to the women who dress up the bride to express their gratitude.Then, they went to the kitchen and said to the cook, the many women who came to help and the mother-in-law: "Selamu" (God bless).At this time, the dishes that they were invited to taste were often forwarded to the chef as a thank you for the chef's hard work.In the peaceful atmosphere, the women took the opportunity to smear the faces of the bridegroom and his best man with ash from the bottom of the pot; the groom also "stealed" a bowl, chopsticks and other tableware.It is a metaphor that he stole the girl's "tea and rice" skills, and the girl can live with him at ease.

Throughout the wedding, the groom and the best man became the object of the young woman's jokes and jokes. They had nowhere to hide, and they could not hide.Finally, the routine etiquette was over, and the groom and best man who had been teased into embarrassment seemed to have received an amnesty, and they had already fled before the procession to greet and see the bride set off. The most lively scene is when the bride arrives at her husband’s house, the boiling crowd playfully smears the faces of the groom’s father or uncles and seniors, forcing them to wear leather jackets backwards, and tie bells around their waists like animals. They even tied their hands and feet with iron chains symbolically; or let them ride upside down donkeys to "show";All the guests were laughing, and the groom's father and elders who played the role of "laughing star" were also happy on their faces, and the beauty was in their hearts.

At night, relatives and friends from both inside and outside the village come to make trouble in the bridal chamber—beating pillows to force the bride to uncover her head.All the female relatives surrounded the bride on the kang, and the boys who made the house held pillows and sang: "It's a good day to get married, and the rules of beating pillows are inherent..." while looking for opportunities to throw pillows at the bride.Some even rushed to the kang, but were squeezed down by the women.Pillows were thrown and flew, and the bridal chamber was full of laughter and noise.Finally, the women were overwhelmed by the strong attack of the boys, and the pillow hit the bride.So the women had to take off the bride's hijab, let people see the bride's demeanor, and opened the box brought by the bride to display the dowry.So far, a lively wedding has come to an end.

Hui marriages are generally decided by parents, and follow the principle of "marriage without rich or poor, must choose kindness", and oppose all red tape, such as counting horoscopes and so on.At the same time, noisy playing, playing and singing are also prohibited at the wedding.The wedding is usually held in the first month of the month. On the Juma day before the salute, the man sends the dowry to the woman's home.The day before the wedding, the woman sends the girl's dowry to the man's home.That night, the girl will take a bath and put on the new clothes given by the man, which means that the girl is clean and flawless.

In the early morning of the wedding day, both families have to take a bath and change clothes in their own home.After the man's housewife took a bath, she happily hung a large scroll written in Arabic in the main room, burned incense and lit candles to thank Allah for the good match.In the morning, after the man hosts a banquet for the imam and the guests who welcome and see off the bride, the wedding begins under the auspices of the imam.The imam asked the couple's "names" in turn, and asked them if they would like to get married. After they agreed, the imam read the marriage sutra.A couple of newlyweds knelt in front of the imam to listen to scriptures devoutly.After the recitation, the imam sprinkled a handful to the newlyweds, and the onlookers picked it up and ate it one after another. This is not only a thank you to God for the marriage, but also a wish to pray for God to give birth to a son.Finally, the newlyweds touched their faces with their hands and thanked Allah.

It is meaningful that in order to prevent husbands from abandoning their wives at will, the Hui people have certain restrictions on men economically.That is to say, the dowry gift that a man gives to his fiancée before marriage is her private property. Whether they live together or divorce, the man has no right to claim it back.In case of divorce, women also have some guarantees in life. On the day of the wedding ceremony, the well-dressed Uzbek groom and many unmarried boys are in a room, eating, playing and singing, waiting for the auspicious time to come.At the same time, at a good friend's house, a newly dressed bride and many girlfriends are also waiting for the festive moment. Suddenly someone reported: The chanting ceremony has begun.Accompanied by his two companions, the groom immediately went to the girl's house, which was already crowded with guests.The groom stopped in the middle of the room, and the imam began to read scriptures.After reading, he turned to the bride standing outside the door with a veil on his head: "Are you willing to marry so-and-so as your wife?" "I am willing!" The imam turned to the groom and asked, "Are you willing to marry her?" " So the imam gave them two pieces of naan dipped in salt water (nang sac, a kind of baked bread) as a precious gift, and the bridesmaids and best men scrambled to pass the naan to their new couple.It is said that whoever eats this naan first among the newcomers will be in charge at home from now on and will not be bullied by the other party.Once the ceremony is over, the bride and groom return to their sitting rooms to have fun with their companions. At this time, the wedding banquet began under the auspices of the parents of both parties.The mother of the bridegroom and her relatives and friends are welcomed by the mother of the bride and all the female relatives into the banquet room covered with gorgeous carpets. Several dexterous young women distribute happy fruits to the guests; other young women hold trays containing white noodles , put white flour on the face of the guests, expressing good luck.After the ladies had a good meal, they left happily. The male guest of the woman's side also arrived at the man's house at this time, and received the same hospitality from the man's family. After the male guest left, the female guest entered.During the wedding process, all the men who came to congratulate came with only one mouth, while all the female guests brought gifts and presented them directly to the bride's mother. After the men and women have sent the guests away, it's time to welcome the relatives.The bridegroom and his party came to the bride's house with a happy song. Inside the closed courtyard door, women and children shouted "Handkerchief! Handkerchief! Only open the door after giving the handkerchief." The best man hurriedly delivered the new handkerchief prepared; inside He also asked to play music, so the boys played and sang vigorously, until they were out of breath, and the courtyard door opened.But the door of the room where the bride is sitting is still closed, no matter how the young men knock on the door, sing and play music, no one pays attention.After the boys calmly begged and said all their good words, the girls opened the door and invited them in.The groomsmen seated the groom next to the bride, and the boys danced with the girls to happy tunes.After the dance, the girls entertained the groom and his partners with steaming hand-picked rice (Figure 8). At the gate of the groom's house, a bunch of blazing bonfires greeted the bride.As soon as the bride arrives, she sits on a tapestry and is carried over the fire by several young men. This is to pray for peace and good luck.Afterwards, the newlyweds entered the banquet hall and had dinner together with the best bridesmaids.When entering the bridal chamber, the bride will experience the baptism of fire again, and must step in from a pot of burning charcoal at the door of the bridal chamber.This is not only to dispel evil spirits and eliminate disasters, but also contains the blessing that the bride will always have the same feelings as fire. The marriage customs of Kirgiz have a great relationship with their nomadic life.The wedding ceremony is very grand. In some wealthy families, the couple will hold three ceremonies in their lifetime.That is, the wedding ceremony, the "Silver Wedding Ceremony" held on the 30th wedding anniversary, and the "Golden Wedding Ceremony" held on the 50th wedding anniversary.They are prevalent in early marriage, and children can hold weddings when they are 12 years old.A large-scale wedding, with thousands of people invited, has the color of a tribal gathering, and this opportunity can be used to resolve major issues such as disputes between tribes. The wedding ceremony is held at the woman's home.The groom, his parents, relatives, best man and a group of people should rush to the bride's house the day before the wedding day, carrying a slaughtered sheep and other food.When the groom and his party arrived, the woman had a group of young men riding horses to meet them.When the two sides meet, the man will throw the sheep he brought in front of the woman's tent as a greeting ceremony, while the woman will throw the sheep she brought behind the man's horse team to welcome guests. The wedding ceremony is presided over by the imam in the tent. By chanting scriptures and praying, the two parties are declared to be husband and wife, and then the oily fruit dipped in salt water or naan is divided into two halves for the bride and groom to eat, and flour is sprinkled on the faces of the new couple, wishing them a clean and pure relationship. .After the wedding, a variety of cultural and sports activities will be carried out inside and outside the tent, which is very lively.During the day, there are horse races, sheep tricks, wrestling, tug-of-war, horse-fighting, etc. In the evening, young men and women sing and dance with the newcomers.Anyway, let's all have fun.Otherwise it is considered to have eaten a meal without salt - dull. After getting married at the bride's house, the groom takes the bride home.The bride's sister-in-law and girlfriend accompanied the dowry.Every time you pass by along the way, enthusiastic people come out to greet and see off, congratulate the newcomers, some even entertain food, and some, in order to show auspiciousness, light a fire and let the newcomers jump over the fire.There is also a fire in front of the tent of the groom's house. The bride has to jump over the fire before entering the house to meet her parents-in-law and elders, and bow to everyone.The bridegroom's family will hold a ceremony to welcome the bride, slaughter sheep to entertain guests, and also carry out activities such as tricking sheep and horse racing, but the scale is generally smaller than that of the woman. Russians believe in the Orthodox Church, and the wedding is held in the church.On the wedding day, the groom wears a suit, accompanied by his best man and matchmaker, and takes a carriage to pick up the bride. The groom’s mother mixes candies, change and barley, and sprinkles them to the onlookers for them to pick up, in order to be auspicious and increase the festive atmosphere. atmosphere. On this day, the bride has to get up early to dress up and put on a dress: a pure white tulle floor-length dress and a veil that forms a beautiful wreath. Even shoes, socks and underwear are also white.To symbolize the purity of the bride.Before leaving, the bride should kneel down to accept the blessings and teachings of her parents: the father is holding the bread sprinkled with salt, the mother is holding the image of the Virgin Mary, and while crossing the daughter's head, she blesses the daughter and tells some things to be careful when going to the man's house. words. After the man's welcoming party arrives, he joins the woman's relatives, plays the accordion, and surrounds the newlyweds to the church for the wedding.At that time, the bride and groom will wear tiaras, the groom will hold a candle in his hand, and the bride will hold a bouquet of flowers in his hand.The priest asked whether the two parties were voluntary, and if the answer was voluntary, the priest prayed for them, asked the two parties to exchange rings, gave the couple some honey, and wished them a sweet life after marriage.The bride and groom have to kneel down three times and kiss three times, and finally leave the church with everyone's blessings and go to the groom's house.The groom's family hosts a banquet for the guests. In areas where Lahu people practice matrilineal inheritance, women marry husbands.On the day of the wedding, the bride, accompanied by her female companion, goes to the man's house to welcome her.The man's family kills animals and prepares wine to entertain the bride and relatives and friends.Then the groom bids farewell to the family gods and parents, takes simple luggage and a few farm tools, is accompanied by a male companion, and goes to the bride's home with the bride to get married that night.After arriving at the bride's house, the groom will send a bottle of clear water to his parents-in-law to show respect.In some cases, the new couple will cook a pot of rice together and dedicate it to the bride's parents.Then, the newlyweds knelt together on the bamboo mat and listened to the village headman and parents talk about the principles of life, admonishing the newlyweds to work hard in the future, to be diligent and thrifty in housekeeping, to have a harmonious husband and wife, to raise and educate children well after giving birth, and so on.Then the bride's parents hold a string-tying ceremony for the newlyweds.In some areas, the couple cannot stay at home on the night of the wedding, and both of them have to go to the mountains to rest for the night. The next day, relatives and friends have to go all over the mountains and plains to find the couple. Achang weddings are relatively simple and have their own characteristics.Picking up the bride is mostly carried out at night, so it is called "marrying in the open and sending in the dark".On the afternoon before the wedding, the groom invites two young men and two girls to accompany them in advance, and the matchmaker leads them to the bride's home to pick up the bride. The bride's parents entertain them for dinner and chat until midnight before the matchmaker asks the bride's parents to invite the bride." On the road", the bride, accompanied by her sister-in-law and sisters, welcomes her relatives to leave her home.But the woman who accompanied the bride only said goodbye to the bride after a short distance, and told her to go with the groom to the man's side.It is customary for the man to arrive at dawn, and the family believes that "the bride and groom leave together, and the more they go home, the brighter the sky will be", and the family business will prosper in the future.When they arrived, the man's relatives and friends greeted him at the door.The newlyweds first worship heaven and earth outside the door, and then enter the main room to worship the ancestors and parents. The parents say a few auspicious words to the new couple, and the wedding is considered complete.In the evening, the mother-in-law steams a steamer (zeng gift) of glutinous rice for the couple, boils two eggs, and two bowls of rum for the bride and groom to eat and drink together, symbolizing a harmonious life from now on.Three days after the marriage, the couple will return to the bride's home accompanied by a matchmaker. The groom will pick a basket of rice, wine, meat, salt, tea and other items as gifts.When they arrived at the woman's house, someone came out to block the door and deliberately closed the door.The bridegroom took out the wine and meat, which was called "blocking wine" and "blocking meat".The person who blocked the door took the gift and happily opened the door to welcome the new couple.They both kowtowed to the bride's parents in the main room, and the bride's family entertained them for lunch, then the groom picked up the bride's dowry, such as bedding, boxes, etc., and took the bride home together. Qiang weddings are generally held for three days.The first day is called "Flower Night". The bride's family entertains relatives and friends, drinking and dancing until late at night.On the second day, the bride rides a horse or a sedan chair, accompanied by seven or eight bridesmaids, and goes to the man's home with the man's bridesmaids.The man's family entertained the guests with a feast, and then the distant guests were assigned to stay in various households in the village. When dividing the guests, they must respectfully invite the guests one by one according to their sitting order, otherwise it will be considered impolite.If all the distant guests cannot be properly arranged, or the guests are neglected, the whole village of the man will feel ashamed.On the third day, the host held a breakfast banquet to thank the guests, and set off firecrackers when seeing off the guests.The groom and his brothers carry wine and meat on their backs and send the bride back to her natal home.The sisters in the bride's village organize a banquet to welcome the groom.During the banquet, they teased the groom in various ways.They use a pair of chest-length thin bamboo chopsticks for the groom, and put a few potatoes on the end of the chopsticks.In addition to the meat and vegetables that are carefully cut into small granules, there are also several oil-filled lamps placed in an orderly manner between the dishes and in front of the groom.The groom struggled to operate the pair of slender chopsticks with his raised hands, and if he didn't pay attention, he would end up in a state of embarrassment where the dishes fell off the lamp and the oil splashed on his body.But the girls didn't stop there, and the already embarrassing bridegroom had to be punished until the girls had their best time (Figure 9). Dusk in mid-winter is the time for Salar people to hold weddings.The groom and the man's relatives and friends come to the bride's house to recite "Nikahai".They don't enter the bride's house, but just sit around the open space outside the door. The elders of the bride come out to greet them, and put on a new hat and embroidered belt for the groom. Married close relatives stay with them and kneel in front of the imam The scriptures; the bride knelt in the corner of the Kang in the room to listen. After reading "Nikahai", spread the auspicious fruit to everyone.Then the woman hosted a banquet to entertain the groom and his party. After the banquet, the brides went home.The next day, the bride was escorted to the husband's house by two women from the same family and other relatives and friends. Along the way, the bride was warmly welcomed and sent off by married women from the same village as the groom. They also informed the husband's family to "prevent" the bride from entering the house.When the bride came to the door of the man's house, a salute was fired to announce, and then surrounded by the men who sent her off, the bride tried to enter the door on horseback.But the man's house closed the courtyard door to ask for gifts, and asked the bride to dismount and enter the house.Both sides rushed to block each other, and each showed their skills to compete for "winner or loser".In the meantime, there may be accidental injuries, but they think it is an expression of intimacy and they don't mind each other. After the wedding, the woman will show the bride's needlework for everyone to comment on.Because according to the custom of the Salar people, when the bride marries into her husband's house, she should give a pair of shoes to each family; uncles and close relatives should also give a pair of embroidered socks;Therefore, Sarah girls aged 14 or 15 generally no longer go to the fields to farm, but only concentrate on embroidery and cooking to increase their talents.This is why Salar women are good at flying needles and threads. Marriages of the Ewenki people engaged in animal husbandry are arranged by their parents, and the wedding ceremony is simple and simple.On the wedding day, the groom and his family all go to the bride's house.The groom greets his parents-in-law and elders, and they send him some gifts.Then, he and the bride share two small bowls of millet porridge. The groom will give the bride the porridge in his own bowl, and give the groom what is in the bride's bowl. After eating the congee, the two are considered married. In the hunting area, on the day of the wedding, the groom, accompanied by all the members of the family commune, drove the reindeer sent to the bride's family to the residence of the bride's family, and the whole family of the bride came out to welcome her.A couple of newlyweds picked out the two best reindeer, each led one around the shed where the woman lived for three times, and then everyone entered the shed to have a feast.That night, the man's family members returned to their residence, and the groom stayed at his father-in-law's house.In the early morning of the next day, the groom took the first step, and the bride, escorted by all members of the family, drove 10 reindeer to the man's house, and the wedding ended. Ewenki people in Chenbaerhu Banner have relatively independent marriages.They have always been popular with a special kind of free marriage - "marriage snatching".The so-called "marriage snatching" means that after the two lovers agree on the date of marriage, the young man tells his parents, and the parents will prepare a bed and blanket for him, and build a new yurt or shed.The girl kept it a secret from her parents.On the night of the wedding, when the girl heard the dog barking, she slipped out of her yurt and ran to the man's house on horseback with the young man who came to pick her up. In the newly built shed, an old woman hired by the man's house was waiting for them When the girl came, she helped the girl change the original eight braids into two, and she was considered married.Before dawn, the man's family sent two people to bring the hada to the woman's house. Only then did the girl's parents know that the girl had been robbed of her marriage.They deliberately said some angry words, and ignored the toast and persuasion of the visitors.But according to the custom, they could not refuse the second toast, after the wine was drunk, the marriage that was already done would be considered as an admission.At the same time, the man's family was full of joy, relatives, friends and people from neighboring tribes all came to congratulate, people drank to their heart's content, sang songs and danced until dawn! On the first wedding day of the Maonan people, the bride, accompanied by relatives and friends of the woman, walks to her husband's home with her relatives.If the bride is young, it will be carried by relatives of the bride's family.At the door of the man's house, the Taoist (wizard) who came to welcome the bride, chanted and sang, holding incense and gesticulating on the heads of the bride and groom to drive away evil spirits.The bride should kick away the bamboo bridge, paper house and other ghost objects placed at the door of the man's house, and take off her shoes to enter the house, which symbolizes getting rid of the entanglement of her natal family and ghosts on the way.Afterwards, relatives of the woman's family sang the "Song of Folding Quilts" to express their affection for the bride's departure from the family, while relatives of the man's family sang the "Song of Opening Quilts" to welcome the arrival of new family members.Then the singer sings the "God Worship Song" to pray to the gods of the ancestors and bless the union of the new couple.Amidst the ups and downs of singing, relatives and friends sent the couple into the bridal chamber. There are men's beds and women's beds in the new house. The men's beds are covered with blue mosquito nets, while the women's beds are hung with white mosquito nets.Under the leadership of Princess Dao, the bride and groom share a food that is dyed red and looks like a penis, which is called "dick leg".It is said that this is a wish for them to have many children and prosperity.On that day, the families of both men and women will invite wizards to their homes to chant mantras and perform rituals of "sending the soul" or "recalling the soul" to the married or married brides to get rid of ghosts.At the same time, relatives and guests visit each other, especially young men and women, singing to each other all night long.Celebrate the wedding night with singing. When the Mulao people get married, the groom does not personally greet the bride. On the day before the wedding day, the man invites male and female relatives and singers to welcome the bride.When arriving in front of the bride's house, there is a female person blocking the door, and the female singer sings "blocking the door song", the main content is to "excuse" the welcoming relatives, asking which village they come from?What to do?Which girl to pick up, what the girl looks like and so on.The male singer has to answer one by one in a targeted manner, which is called "the song of tearing down the door".If the answer is reasonable, the woman will invite them in immediately.If you don't answer the question, you will be fined with wine and made fun of, and you will not be able to enter the door for a long time. The next morning, before the bride leaves home, the relatives who pick up relatives should sacrifice meat, wine, salt, tea and other objects to the bride's ancestors, and the two parties hold a "marriage making" ceremony here.Then the bride's elder brother carries the bride out of the house and hands it over to a woman who will meet her.She opened an umbrella to cover the bride, and then gave the umbrella to the bride to support herself, and the group walked to the man's house. When the bride comes outside the gate of the man's house, the groom sits in front of the ancestral shrine facing the gate. A pole is placed across the gate frame, with a pair of groom's shoes hanging on it. The bride must bow her head and pass under the groom's shoes when entering the gate.The intention of doing this is: from now on, the bride must be obedient to her husband.There are still many taboos for the bride to enter the door: she must be carried by two "full blessing" (that is, parents, husband and wife, and children) women to cross the threshold. When entering the door, they must hold the bride's two feet tightly. Let her toes touch the threshold, otherwise she thinks it will bring great disaster to the man's family.After the bride enters the door, ask her to look up and see the shrine of ancestors and her husband.Then let the two eat some rice called "Millennium Rice", which means that she has become the daughter-in-law of this family from now on, and she will live a good life with the man. Most weddings of the Hani people in Ailao Mountain are held at dusk.On that day, the man sent a pair of Quanfu people to the woman to pick up the bride.The woman's parents warmly entertained her.At the banquet, the relatives hand over the gift money in public as a wedding ceremony, and then the singer sings the ancient "Song of Sending Marriage": The moon in the sky is full, The flowers in the mountains are red, The winged dove is about to fly high, The raised daughter is getting married.
Girls are like chestnut leaves on the hillside, Wherever it floats, it will fall. married girl, Why be so sad? The crooked silver bracelet is for you, Huahua's golden ring is here for you; You are a good daughter with father and mother, You are a big girl with brothers and sisters, Go boasting happily! While the woman's parents sent off their daughter with joy, the married girl was worried as if she had been betrayed. She was unwilling to wear a wedding dress and leave her family. Thinking of the difficult situation in a strange patriarchal family, She cried and sang "Weeping Wedding Song": We girls are never considered human beings, Grandma gave birth to a doll, It depends on whether it is a son or a daughter. If a son is born, Mom and Dad laughed from ear to ear, Quickly slaughter the chicken and boil the egg; If a girl is born, Parents don't even want to watch it. Farewell, free love fields, Good times count for unmarried girls; The years of acting like a baby in front of parents Gone forever. The "Weeping Marriage Song" of the Hani nationality truly expresses that being a girl is the happiest period in a woman's life. Once married, she becomes a slave from a free person.This is the tragedy caused to women by their parents' arrangement of their marriage, although their love is free.When the groom leads the tear-stained bride out of the gate crying, the girl's female companions and local teenagers will swarm out and attack the man with olives and taro as weapons, expressing their unwillingness to have the sisters taken away. Feeling.And this dramatic "battle" was nothing more than a ritual, and the girl was eventually taken away. At this time, the groom led a group of teenagers from the village, who had already been waiting outside the village.Seeing that the bride is being led, she immediately lights the torch and draws a white thread between the two bamboo poles.The bride has to cross the torch and break the white thread before she can be considered a man.When the bride enters the man's house, she first kowtows to a piece of bamboo on the altar table that symbolizes her ancestors, and then eats a bowl of raw rice delivered by the groom, expressing the love between husband and wife. The next morning, the bride grabs a handful of white rice and, led by the bridegroom's sister, goes to the well to carry water.The bride sprinkles white rice into the well water, indicating that she has become the one who drinks the well water, and asks her husband Fangzhai God to bless her.After carrying the water back home, the whole family will drink the water carried by the bride, which symbolizes that the bride has begun to perform her femininity.On the same day, when the bride returns home, she can have intercourse with her husband only after she returns. It usually takes three days for a Manchu marriage to follow the ancient rituals.The first day is called the cabinet box, that is, the woman's family asks someone to send the dowry to the man's new house for placement.On the same day, the man's family will set up a tent in the courtyard in preparation for the wedding the next day. The next day is the wedding day. The man's family prepares colorful sedan chairs and drum music, and the bridegroom greets them personally. There are boys in the sedan chair to escort the sedan chair.When the bride's family sees off her relatives, she must be accompanied by two women with both children, commonly known as the wife who sends her off.When the colorful sedan chair comes to the outside of the man's house, the man's house will close the door for a while, and then reopen the door to welcome in. It is commonly known as holding back your temper, which means to make the bride have good patience.When the sedan chair has entered the courtyard and the curtain of the sedan chair has not yet been opened, quickly ask the bridegroom to shoot three arrows at the sedan chair to get rid of evil spirits.The colorful sedan chair enters the courtyard, and the bride is helped down by the bride-in-law, leading to the heaven and earth table to worship heaven and earth.At that time, "the auspicious old man recited the words of 卺 [jin tight] and told the sky" ("The Collection of Four Rites of Manchuria").After worshiping heaven and earth, "men lead women into account".After the bride enters the account, she takes off the clothes she wore when she was a girl, and puts on the clothes of the daughter-in-law, and her hair is also changed into the big golden rod and watermelon petals of the daughter-in-law.This is commonly known as "sit tent".Later, tents were no longer set up in the courtyard. After praying to heaven and earth, the bride went into the house and sat on the kang, facing the auspicious side, which was called "sitting blessing".After sitting in the blessing, the new couple eats the offspring and grandchildren and wide-hearted noodles (sugar-filled dumplings and wide noodles).Then the banquet, the banquet is over, and the couple enters the bridal chamber.After drinking a cup of wine, the married woman "helps the newlyweds to enter the colored tent and put the quilt [qin intrusion] on it, sit facing each other, and then close the tent and remove the candles. This is the ceremony of marriage". ("The Collection of Four Rites of Manchuria") In the morning of the third day, the bride should install cigarettes for her parents-in-law, and then go to the kitchen.In some areas, the bride is required to go to the ancestral hall or ancestral grave to worship, commonly known as the Shangxi Tomb. Three or five days after the marriage, if Yue's family lives nearby, the new couple will go to Yue's house together and call them Huimen.If it is far away, go back to the woman's relative's house next to the man's house, and must return before noon.The Aixinjueluo family returned to Ning in nine days, and they also returned together after the banquet, not after noon.The wedding is over. The Oroqen people, who used to be mainly engaged in hunting, have their own characteristics in their marriage customs due to their greater mobility. After the marriage proposal is accepted by the woman, the future son-in-law will bring gifts to the woman's home to recognize relatives.At this time, if both the men and women involved have grown up, they can have sex that night, and the son-in-law can live in Yue's house for a month.After that, the son-in-law can have sex with his fiancée again when giving the bride price. On the first wedding day, the bride and groom will wear newly sewn roe-skin robes, and the groom will wear a roe-skin cap.The new house is also newly furnished. The leather mattress is sewn with hundreds of roe deer skins, and the roe skin quilt is embroidered with cloud patterns.The box made of birch bark is engraved with exquisite patterns. It is a gift from the mother-in-law to the son-in-law.That night, the couple will share a birch bark bowl and a pair of chopsticks to eat "lao kao tai" (sticky porridge). The animal meat will also be served in a basin and eaten with a knife, which symbolizes that they will never be separated until they grow old. The Tu people go through matchmaking, blind date, engagement step by step, and the next step is to hold a wedding.Maybe the first few steps are too rigid and serious, which makes people need a lighthearted and witty wedding. Therefore, in Tu weddings, there are two indispensable "Natjin" - Xike.They are served by two witty and lively young men who are good at singing and dancing. They shoulder the responsibilities of leading the way and singing to each other, and bear all kinds of difficulties and teasing from the woman.They represent the wisdom and alertness of the man. When the bridegroom and other welcoming teams entered the woman's village, the door of the woman's house was already closed.All the girls in the village gathered around the bride to escort them. As soon as they saw the welcoming team enter the courtyard, they rushed to the window and sang "cursing marriage tunes", cursing, mocking and ridiculing Xike as much as they wanted, comparing them to robbing people. Robbers and Savages.They also use "Pange" to interrogate the origin of all things in Xike Tiandi, the root of the marriage and so on.Xike must be polite and answer fluently in order to win the favor of the girls and open the door.When the groom came in, no one joked with him.As soon as Xike entered the door, a big bucket of cold water poured over his head and face, followed by ridicule and teasing, and he managed to get into the house with difficulty.The man from the woman's family was very friendly and arranged for them to sit at a table full of various pastries, but the girls did not let them enjoy the pastries at ease, and continued to sing instead of scolding unceremoniously.They scolded the groom and others to come here to beg for food and drink like wolves and tigers; they also teased Xike and refused to let them eat food.When serving Changshou noodles (there are three meals on this day: steamed buns, meat buns and Changshou noodles), the two daughters-in-law are holding the noodles and singing all the way from the kitchen: "Do you know where the water for the noodles comes from? Where does the wheat grow? Do you know how the wheat turns into flour? And how do you make noodles and serve them on the table?" Xike answered one by one, and when they were satisfied, they would serve the tableware and condiments for the groom to taste. . Just when the women and Xi Ke were having a quarrel, the bridegroom, who was ignored by no one, was led out of the crowd by an old lady of the woman, and came to the girl's boudoir to complete his mission— —Hold the "headwearing ceremony" for the bride, that is, the groom changes the hairstyle for the girl.Tu girls wear a single braid and tie a red string on it.Under the guidance of the old woman who brought him here, the groom untied the red ribbon on the tip of the girl's hair, wrapped it around his left leg, and then combed his own hair three times with a comb, and then combed the girl's hair three times. He put the head on for the girl, and from then on, the girl was his wife. Aquarium weddings, one does not worship the heaven and the earth, the other does not worship the high hall, and does not make a new house.When the bride gets married, the older women in the family will dress her up, and then the two younger sisters in full dress will act as bridesmaids, holding a new cloth umbrella with the bride, and walk to the man's house under the leadership of the bride and groom (Fig. 10).The male family kills one or two pigs to entertain relatives and friends.The visitor presents the newlyweds with cloth, clothes, cash, etc.Within three days of marriage, the bride will sleep with her bridesmaids and bridesmaids.Three days later, the younger sister of the husband's family sent the bride back home, and the bridegroom or his younger sister welcomed her back after staying for two or three days before the husband and wife slept together in the same room. The Baoan people who practice arranged marriages mostly choose the wedding date on the Juma day.At that time, people in the villages on both sides will dress up and celebrate like a festival.The groom welcomes his bride back in person. When they came to the door of her husband's house, the young man came up and pulled the bride by the horse's head, forcing her relatives to carry her into the bridal chamber.At this time, the bridegroom stands on the high roof and blows firecrackers to drive away evil spirits and eliminate disasters and seek good luck.An imam sat cross-legged on the big red felt in the yard. The couple stepped forward and bowed deeply, then both knelt in front of him and listened to his blessings.After reading, distribute walnuts and red dates to everyone.All men and women who come to celebrate can ask for walnuts and red dates from the host, regardless of the quantity, everyone can have a share.核桃——“和头”是借谐音祝愿新夫妇和睦相处，白头到老；红枣的颜色天然是喜庆的象征。在表示了美好的祝愿后，喜宴就开始了。尽管平日保安族不准在院内唱歌，但在这喜庆的时刻，歌声却冲破院墙，回荡在村庄的上空。 布朗族的婚礼一般要举行三次，头一二次简单，第三次隆重。 定亲之后举行第一次婚礼。届时，男方的年轻小伙带上鸡、肉、酒、烟等物，送新郎到女家，并请女方亲朋吃顿便饭。然后在长者主持下，长辈、亲朋将一缕缕白线绕在新人的手腕上，祝福他们永不分离。婚后，丈夫就在妻子家住下，但他不加入妻家家族，而是朝去夜来，实行走婚，生产和消费仍在自己父母家。 第二次婚礼往往在有了第一个孩子后。有杀猪办宴的，也有只杀一两只鸡请亲朋好友的。 婚后如感情不好，就不再举行第二、第三次婚礼了。只有情深意笃的夫妇才举行第三次典礼，让新娘正式出嫁。正婚日，一帮年轻人簇拥着花枝招展的新娘踏上去夫家的路，一路上，新娘放声痛哭，表达感谢父母的养育之恩与惜别之情。到了夫家，就举行庄严的典礼。至此，结婚三部曲才算圆满结束。 结婚头天，新郎独自乘马来到岳丈家。傍晚，岳父母特地请近亲中一位儿女双全的妇女，督促同席对面而坐的姑爷、女儿用一只碗、一双筷互相喂食拌有黄油的黄糯米拉里(稠粥)(图11)。其目的是希望他们婚后感情如胶似漆，永不分离。当晚，一对新人共度良宵。 第二天，新娘在本氏族八位男女亲家和三名马车夫的陪送下，与男家氏族派来迎亲的八位男女亲家一同前往夫家。无论是送亲的还是迎亲的亲家，都必须是儿女双全的人。在路上，如与另一支迎亲队伍相遇，两方的新郎要下马，交换一块红布，再继续赶路。不论路途远近，送亲车队都要在离男家村屯二里路远近的路边小憩，生起篝火，吃点东西。这时，男方派出一老一少骑手前往迎接。为取喜事从光明方向临门的好兆，送亲车队要从东面进屯。如到达时太阳已落山，就要在大门西侧挂一面镜子，以象征太阳。 达斡尔族没有拜天地的习惯，只是在送亲者进门时，由新郎父母斟满双盅酒，敬给送亲的贵宾，称“进门盅”。进屋寒暄后，新郎父母再次给送亲宾客敬酒，称“接风酒”。 婚宴上，一位年长的送亲男亲家手捧一支翎箭，为新人致传统的祝辞：“我祝愿新婚夫妇，今后二人的感情，像箭头一样整齐，像箭杆一般笔直，像箭翎一样爽快，像烟嘴一般光滑，像碾子一样相合，像铁石一般坚固，纵有大刀割不断，纵有阔斧砍不断！”宴席散后，新娘在夫家的少妇带领下，给公婆及夫家长辈一一磕头、敬酒；给同辈兄长装烟。 第二天早晨，新郎父母在大门内给即将返回的送亲者敬酒，是为“出门盅”。至此，隆重的婚礼才算降下帷幕。 塔塔尔族的婚礼在女方家举行。婚期一般为三天。 结婚当天，先请阿訇到新娘家念有关婚礼的片段。念完，阿訇便问新娘：你是否真心愿意嫁给某某？新娘回答愿意，阿訇就递给她一小壶糖水喝。然后，阿訇又到男家念，同样问新郎是否愿意娶某某，新郎同意后，也得到一小壶糖水。这糖水是塔塔尔族对新婚夫妇甜甜蜜蜜、和睦相处的衷心祝福。宗教仪式后，亲朋好友前往女家贺喜。晚上，一辆马车载着新郎来到女家。可是女家门口有拉着彩绳的小孩拦住了新郎，新郎的伙伴往地上扔点钱就赶起马车离开了，如此来去几趟，才得以来到女家门前，又送一些手帕、头巾、香皂等小礼物，大门才被打开。女家热情地把他们迎进宴会厅，吃完饭，新郎的随员各自回家，只有他和新娘在陪同下进入洞房。金哥侍候他俩吃过茶点，扶新娘坐到床边，再请新郎过去与新娘说话。这时新郎该给金哥一些“床边钱”，她们就离去了。 次日清晨，新娘父母来到新房看望并祝福一对新人。接着新娘的兄弟姐妹也前来祝贺，新郎要一一馈赠一些小礼物。 第三日，男方来接新郎，女家为他准备送给亲朋的礼物。当晚，新郎返回妻家。婚后，新夫妇一般要在女家住一段时间，直到生下第一个孩子才回男家。 舅舅，在许多民族中享有很高的权力，具体表现在对外甥的保护权和支配权上。这种舅权形成于母系氏族社会，那时舅甥终生共同生活，舅舅是外甥们最亲的男性长辈，与他的姐妹一起承担抚育外甥的责任，年迈后则由外甥供养，财产也由外甥继承。到了父系社会，仍然有舅权的遗留。反映在婚姻上，就有了舅家子有优先娶姑家女儿的优婚权；在婚礼上，也就有了舅舅的重头戏。 在门巴族的婚礼上，最出风头的就是新娘的舅舅。在送亲的队伍中，舅舅是不可缺少的，因为他是女方的发言人。当舅舅一行护送着新娘来到男家村子时，新郎父母和亲友立刻把他们迎请入席。 丰盛的酒菜马上就摆在了舅舅面前。尽管都是上好的酒菜，舅舅却并不满意，不是说酒没味道，就是说酒质低劣；要不就挑剔肉切得大小不等，厚薄不均；菜做得无滋无味，不甜不咸。甚至拿起一块门巴族最爱吃的荞麦饼摔在地上，大叫大吼：你们这是瞧不起我们，难道我家女儿口眼歪斜，长得不端正，配不上你们的郎君！他怒发冲冠，煞有介事地边说边擂桌子，震得盘碗乱跳，大有掀翻酒席、领走新娘之势。他的举动引得众宾客哈哈大笑，却“慌”得新郎倌的父母跑前跑后忙个不迭，又是献哈达赔不是，又是撤下旧菜换新的。实际上只是走个过场，把菜端下又端回来(图12)。这时新娘的舅舅转怒为喜，邀宾客们重又入席，开怀痛饮。刚才的表演不过是考验男方的耐心和诚意，为的是给新娘抖抖威风，认为只有如此，新娘才不会在婆家受欺负。 毛难族认为舅舅是“水之源，树之根”，地位在父亲之上。所以婚宴上，舅舅被请入正席首座。宴会开始时，先请舅舅用筷子，只有待他翻动了碗中对着他的鸡头(在许多少数民族中以动物的头为贵，所以他们常以鸡头、猪头等敬尊贵的客人或长者)，其他人才能举筷喝酒。如果违犯古规，慢怠了舅舅，他有权责令重办酒席，补办礼仪。因此，男方是绝不敢稍有疏忽的，处处要陪着小心照应到舅舅的特权。 结婚时，夫家要给新娘家送酒肉，其中送给新娘舅舅的肉，就占送肉总量的1/3。新娘到夫家，是舅舅率众亲友送亲。在婚礼酒席上，舅舅坐首席。舅舅如果不入席，众宾客就不能动筷子。 白族嫁女叫“打发奴”，即打发姑娘。出嫁前夜，姑娘要向长辈们拜别，并与女伴们叙别。是夜，还要请两位小女孩来为陪嫁被褥“暖被”，认为经纯洁幼女睡过的卧具，能给新婚夫妻带来幸福和吉祥。 次日，新娘梳妆要坐在高凳上，脚踩一只盛满粮食的大斗，内插红烛两支，表示丰收和吉利。新郎出门接新娘时，他的父亲或叔伯要给他挂上一只彩球；到了女家，新娘的父亲或叔伯又给他挂上另一只彩球，两只彩球挂于胸前，表示他由单变双，娶回了媳妇。 在洞房门口放有一只鞍子，新娘要从上面跨过去，表示平安之意。进屋坐下后，新娘要喝一道苦茶，再喝一道甜茶，取先苦后甜之意。然后，新人接过一位女长辈敬的、用短链联着的一对小银杯，脸挨着脸喝下交杯酒。 新娘哭嫁是许多民族的习俗。它既表达了新娘对父母养育之恩的感激，又吐露了对包办婚姻的不满，是被强迫出嫁的姑娘们抒发苦衷的心曲。它的哀婉悲切常使唱者哽咽，闻者泪下。比如土家新娘唱道： 几多鲜花岭上开， 只有我爹娘不会栽， 一栽栽到背阴岩， 五黄六月太阳晒不到， 十冬腊月霜雪纷纷盖。 对土家族新娘来说，哭嫁是婚礼中必不可少的。一般要哭七至十天，甚至个把月。要哭得声嘶力竭，如痴如狂，才被认为是聪明能干的人，要不就被看作愚昧无知。为此，土家女儿早早就收敛笑容，学唱起哭嫁歌。什么“哭父母”、“哭姐妹”、“哭梳头”、“哭上轿”等不下10多种，内容极丰富。但土家的哭嫁歌都比较含蓄委婉，不像撒拉族和彝族的那样锋芒毕露、痛快淋漓。 哭呀哭呀，…… 黑骡子拉到大门上， 逼着要我上乘骑； 骨架还嫩血未稠， 头发未长全就送我出门。 你把金子般的女儿， 当成了瓦片一块！ 不知疼惜， 硬要嫁给别人。 你把夫家的彩礼， 当成了富贵荣华， 双手迎来， 抛出了女儿…… 这如泣如诉的撒拉哭嫁歌，唱出了姑娘们对早婚和买卖婚的切齿痛恨！ 身处奴隶社会的凉山彝族青年，并不认为结婚就是“喜事”，姑娘们出嫁时哭得是那么悲切伤心，她们哀叹自己被包办买卖的命运： 叔伯父兄们， 心肠这样狠， 只想嫌女儿的身价钱， 不顾女儿死与活。 妈妈的女儿哟！ 血已换成酒喝了， 身已换成肉吃了， 骨已换成钱用了， 女儿是必须走了。 这字字血、声声泪控诉了奴隶制下的买卖婚给女儿带来的不幸。 虽然这些哭嫁歌的言辞仅及父兄叔伯，但其实质是指向人吃人的社会，是对父权制下妇女卑贱地位和不幸遭遇的深刻揭露。当然有些民族的哭嫁歌主要反映的是姑娘们留恋娘家的哀戚之情。土家族新娘在离开娘家时这样哭唱道： 父母你们请坐我走了！ 房屋你在着我走了！ 厅堂你待客我走了！ 兄弟姐妹们你们留步我去了！ 大门你开着我离去了！(图13) 台湾高山族鲁凯人居住的雾台地区有“长跑健将摇篮”的美称，的确也出过不少有名的长跑运动员。而鲁凯人的这一技能——长跑，在他们的婚礼中表现得更为奇特。 鲁凯人的婚礼从跑步开始，又以跑步结束。结婚那天，新郎带着聘礼在亲友们簇拥下，跑步到女家，先献上礼物，然后新郎找到被藏匿起来的新娘，背起她径直向自己家跑去。无论道路有多么遥远，新郎都要不歇劲地跑下来。这可真是一段洒满艰辛汗水的幸福之路！到了家门口却不得入内，还必须跑到族人为他们举行婚礼的广场，与那里的众乡亲邻里见面。在欢乐声中，新郎背着新娘绕场两周，才把新娘放下，共同接受人们的祝酒和祝福。然后，刚喘过气来的新郎又背起新娘跑入洞房，从而结束了他的长跑婚礼。 鲁凯人所以善于长跑，是自小束腹、负重练习长跑的结果。按习惯，完婚后，男子就可以拆掉束腹箍，结束束腹。 由于封建社会长期延续，旧时朝鲜族的婚俗具有浓厚的封建色彩，保留着一套完整的传统婚礼程式，与古代汉族的婚俗在很多方面是相通的。但它毕竟具有浓郁的朝鲜族特色——重礼仪，讲体面；热闹隆重而不失条理，规划周详而不失活泼。 一大早，新郎就起床到祠堂参拜父亲。父亲郑重地嘱咐他“迎妻子继承宗祧〔tiao挑〕吧。”他向父亲发誓保证后，就去新娘家参加婚礼。 临行前，母亲把一只用木头做的大雁包在红布里，递给一位迎亲人，由他捧着在前面引路去往新娘家。朝鲜族崇敬大雁对爱情的忠贞不渝，因此从婚礼一开始，这只木雁就飞了进来，以祝福新人的爱情像大雁一样，地久天长，永不变心。 在木雁的引导下，新郎来到了新娘家。在门口下了马，新郎便踩着地上的米袋进了屋。一人高喊“婿进门”，喊声未落，岳父已迎到门口。请新郎落坐的房间叫“奠雁厅”，其间布置着青松、绿竹和木雁。一张很大的桌上放着诱人的食品，其中尤为突出的是那精巧托盘里飘着酒香的酒盅。 这时，身着传统结婚礼服的新娘由人引导走进了奠雁厅。在主婚人主持下，新郎先向新娘磕头，随即端起小托盘向新娘敬酒。新娘以四拜作为回礼，然后也敬酒给新郎。接着是接交木雁的仪式：新郎手捧木雁，面北跪在奠雁床前片刻，就把木雁放在奠雁床上，并叩拜两次。新娘母亲接过木雁，放在自己裙摆上，旋即就将木雁抛进新娘的闺房，如木雁直立住，据说新夫妻头胎定是男孩。在古代汉族的婚礼中，雁是男家送女家的礼物之一，后来，雁在汉族的婚礼中消失了，却在受汉族习俗影响的朝鲜族中得到了保留。然而这是一种发展的保留，朝鲜族人民用木雁代替了真雁，并以他们美好的心愿使雁得以新生，得以永恒。 木雁礼后，有专人把新郎引到另一房间，里面已摆设好“交拜席”。先由新娘向新郎拜两拜，新郎回敬一拜；新娘再拜两拜，新郎再回一礼。然后双双跪坐在原地，各自连干两杯酒，第三杯时互相交换，一饮而尽。至此，交拜礼结束，大礼也告一段落。 进入宴席礼时，新娘要暂时回避，由新郎单独出席专为他设的“新郎宴席”。面对色彩斑斓的美味食品，新郎首先表示诚挚的感谢，然后说：“鄙人父母健在，想让父母亲眼看看这些佳肴，能否给予方便？”新娘家就会有人把各类食品取一点放在箱内，备新郎带给父母品尝。这个习俗有两层意思，一是让新郎双亲分享儿子在女家受到的热情款待；二是新郎家从中了解亲家接待水平和烹饪技巧，以备他们为新娘准备婚宴。 当晚，新婚夫妻入“洞房”成婚。门外新娘家的女眷则要偷听俩人的密谈，此俗称“守洞房”，它既出于迷信怕闹鬼，又是出于防备新婚夫妻发生不测。 次日，新娘近亲来洞房与新郎相认，称“通商礼”。新郎根据亲戚辈份行握手、点头或叩头礼。相认后，各亲戚由长辈开始请新婚夫妻吃饭。 虽然新郎仅在新娘家住三天，可这三天却并不好过。新娘村上的年轻人都要来起起哄，凑凑热闹，用一些滑稽可笑的话题耍逗新郎。也有用一些难题为难新郎的，比如问新郎岳母的尊姓大名(一般新郎不记岳母的姓