Chapter 5 The fourth section is rich and varied wedding ceremony

Whether it is free love or arranged marriage, there is a stage of marriage proposal before marriage, and then engagement in different forms.For example, many ethnic groups have gone through fortune-telling, horoscopes, betrothal gifts and so on.In the traditional weddings of various ethnic groups, it not only contains the color of superstition, but also shows people's pursuit and blessing for a happy marriage.However, in arranged marriages, parents focus more on the actual interests of the right couple, and rarely consider the happiness of the parties involved in the marriage. All ethnic groups have a certain scope for establishing sexual relations.For example, Koreans and Tibetans, all blood relatives, regardless of maternal or paternal blood relatives, are forbidden to marry.For the Liangshan Yi people who still have a patrilineal clan organization called "Jiazhi", all patrilineal blood relatives are strictly prohibited from marriage, and those who violate it will be expelled from the clan and even executed.The hierarchy of the tribe is strict, and intermarriage between black Yi nobles and white Yi slaves is strictly prohibited, and even extramarital sexual relations are severely punished.Daur, Oroqen, De'ang, Lhoba, Hani and other ethnic groups also practice patrilineal exogamy.Mosuo people in Moinba and Yongning strictly forbid marriage between blood relatives on the matrilineal line.The Uyghur, Kazak, Uzbek, Nu, Lisu and other ethnic groups, except for the direct paternal blood relatives, can intermarry regardless of their seniority.The Manchus and others follow the "no marriage of the same surname" originating from the exogamous system of the clan.

All clans that practice exogamy, or prohibit marriages between patrilineal and matrilineal blood relatives, all believe that the marriage of aunts, cousins, brothers and sisters is the most ideal marriage.In many ethnic groups such as Yi, Hani, Dong, Naxi, Lahu, Miao, Lisu, Achang, Yao, Monba, Lhoba, Wa, etc., it was prevalent to marry uncles first.In most ethnic groups, this kind of preferential marriage right is symmetrical, that is, the sons and daughters of the aunt's family can marry the sons and daughters of the uncle's family, but in Jingpo and Dulong ethnic groups, asymmetrical cousin marriage is practiced, that is, only The son of the uncle's family can marry the daughter of the uncle's family, but the son of the uncle's family is strictly forbidden to marry the daughter of the uncle's family.It is said that if they get married, it will cause "backward flow of blood" and bring disasters to future generations.Those who violate the prohibition will be regarded as black sheep, and their fellow clansmen will execute them by themselves.Such a one-way cousin marriage requires more than three intermarriage groups to form a ring-shaped marriage network.The "Anke'anla" marriage of the Dulong nationality is composed of several intermarriage groups.These customs reflect efforts to limit interbreeding, including at the cost of blood—the physical elimination of those who violated customary restrictions.

Ethnic groups with obvious class differentiation, such as Lhoba, Liangshan Yi, Dai, Tibetan and other ethnic groups, except for restricting the marriage of close relatives according to their respective traditions, all practice hierarchical endogamy.In some ethnic groups, the conclusion of marriage is mainly based on the right family, and does not consider the wishes of the parties at all.Family marriage is the product of the above-mentioned historical conditions.The initial class oppression occurred simultaneously with the enslavement of women by men. Therefore, the decline of women's status and the emergence of marriage forms such as buying and selling marriages, transfer marriages, and exchange marriages are quite natural.

Marriage is also known as the horoscope, which is strictly followed by many ethnic groups. Its essence is to use "divine judgment" (actually the apotheosis of patriarchy) to predict the success or failure of marriage and fortune.Some lovers who want to be with each other for life cannot become family members because of the horoscope. Since the Qing Dynasty, men and women in the Manchu nationality have exchanged family posts when choosing a mate to see if they are in trouble.This ceremony is called "pairing eight characters", also known as "marriage".The so-called portal post is to write on a piece of red paper the banner, leader and three generations (great-grandfather, grandfather, father) life and death, fame, occupation, address of the married person and his own fame, occupation, age, zodiac sign, and birthday. At the hour, put it in a red envelope with the word "Happy" written on it.The two parties exchange portal posts through a matchmaker, and it is calculated that the horoscope is consistent, which means the marriage is successful.

After getting engaged, the Buyi people hold a ceremony of "reciting the eight characters" before getting married.The man prepares the "Luan [luan Luan] book", writes the groom's birthday, and prepares a feast for the ancestors of the daughter's family, a pair of chickens and firecrackers and other gifts to the bride's house.When worshiping the ancestors, put a chicken leg on the shrine [kan journal] together with the Luan script filled with the woman's birthday.After the banquet, a boy arranged by the man's family took down Luan's book and left.After the man's family gets the horoscope, they choose the date of marriage according to the horoscope of both parties.

After the Tujia man successfully proposes, he needs to prepare wine, meat, and clothes and go to the woman's home to retrieve the horoscope, and ask Mr. Dixian to "join Geng" for the two. Marriages of the Li people are rarely autonomous.When the man's parents take a fancy to a girl from a certain family, they invite relatives to propose marriage.If the woman's parents agree, the daughter's horoscope will be handed over to the relatives to take back.In the next three days, if there is any casualty or disease in the man's family, or even broken pots and bowls, it will be regarded as an ominous sign, and this marriage should not be carried out.If there is nothing wrong with each other within three days, it is considered auspicious, and the parents of the man will bring gifts to the woman's house, expressing their satisfaction with the marriage.

After the woman accepts the marriage proposal from the man, the Korean ethnic group sends a piece of paper with the young man’s name and date of birth—the “four pillars”—to the woman’s home for divination with the girl’s “four pillars.” "Fit, the woman chooses the date of engagement and informs the man. After the Mongolian man's parents find a girl from a certain family for their son, they also try to find out the girl's birth date, and then ask a fortune teller to calculate whether the fortunes of the man and the woman are compatible or incompatible, and decide whether to formally propose marriage to the woman.

The Bai people first make a tentative marriage proposal from the man to the woman. If the woman is interested, she will agree to "Bazi", that is, write the girl's birthday on a piece of red paper and give it to the matchmaker.When the man receives the horoscope, he asks the fortune teller to "combine the horoscope". In addition to looking at the mutual influence of the horoscope of the man and woman, it also depends on whether the woman's horoscope has "offended" the man's parents and grandparents.If all goes well, the marriage will continue positively, and if there is a discrepancy, the man will return to the horoscope and find another mate.

In short, marriage based on the horoscope is a procedure for some ethnic patriarchal families to choose a daughter-in-law, and it is a means of combining patriarchal and divine power to determine the marriage of young people.The ethnic groups that believe in Islam and other ethnic groups that practice priority in marriage within a certain range or where young men and women can freely love and choose a spouse do not use the method of matching horoscopes to choose a spouse, but use a matchmaker or relatives and friends to come forward to talk about marriage.In some ethnic groups, when talking about kissing, they don't come straight to the point, but express it in metaphorical language, full of humorous atmosphere.

"Ewenki" is the self-proclaimed name of the nation, which means "people living in the mountains and forests".Some Ewenki are still engaged in safari production. They say that the man takes the initiative to invite a man and a woman from another clan who can speak well as matchmakers. They will bring two bottles of wine when they visit the woman’s house. When they see the woman’s father, the matchmaker does not mention it. Instead, I said: We are going to borrow a jug from your family. Father-in-law said: No. The matchmaker said, "I'm not coaxing you with a glass of wine,

Not to get you drunk with a bowl of wine, It's a toast to the elders, Please borrow a jug!The father-in-law said: There is a flagon. The matchmaker said: Then borrow one, Our "dural" (clan) ancestors said, You "Shengedong" have a girl with scissors, We are married. The father-in-law said: Yes, my daughter is, but she is still young and ignorant. You can't do without your parents, no. It's impossible to say goodbye once, you have to visit the door several times.The second time the matchmaker went, the woman invited the whole family, and the matchmaker said to everyone: We have been married for generations since long ago, is cut continuously, Pull constant relationships. In order to form relatives for generations, Here we go again, To put it bluntly: It is for the festive occasions of boys and girls. At this time, the woman's parents pretended not to hear.One of the two matchmakers pulled the ear of the other and repeated the above words aloud.If the woman's parents are willing, they will quietly tie a red cloth on the wine bottle brought by the matchmaker. The father-in-law said: I don't care how your family is (poor or rich), Mainly for my son-in-law (agreed). If the marriage is successful, the woman's family will ask the matchmaker to drink four bowls of wine, and the matchmaker often returns drunk with good news. Marriage of the Lahu people living in the frontier of Yunnan is independent, but after the two parties have made an agreement, they must inform their parents separately. In areas where the matrilineal system is practiced, the parents of the woman ask a matchmaker to go to the man's house to talk about marriage. In most areas, the parents of the man entrust the matchmaker to go to the woman. family courtship.By convention, matchmakers need to visit the door three times before they can get a clear answer.In some places, matchmakers cannot directly propose marriage, but have to express it tactfully.When the matchmaker meets the parents of the girl’s family, she will say: “I’ll go to your house to find a pullet.” The girl’s family will reply coldly: “I don’t have one at my house, you can go to someone else’s house and ask!” to express their refusal. The matchmaker was not discouraged, and still visited the door again and again to ask.The third time the matchmaker brings a jug of wine, and if the woman's parents drink the wine on the spot, they agree.If you don't agree, knock the wine to the ground.Some still hang bracelets or earrings on the flagon. If the woman agrees, she can take off the bracelets instead of directly expressing them in words. Lahu and Ewenki are thousands of miles apart, but they have similarities in the way of courtship: the use of metaphorical language and a sense of humor.The Lahu are also good at hunting, and both ethnic groups have family communes. Perhaps the similarity in social development stages has something to do with their common customs. The marriage talk of the Dai nationality is carried out after the young men and women report their love to their parents.The Dai people in Xishuangbanna live with their wives, and the conclusion of marriage attaches great importance to the opinions of matrilineal relatives.The girl should seek the opinion of the relatives of the mother's natal family.The man asked his uncle and aunt to go and talk about marriage.Said pro's words are both straightforward and carefully worded. The matchmaker said: "I heard that there is a daughter in your family who has a lover in her heart. She often dresses on the balcony and arranges dresses by the firepit. She is very happy to see people smiling. There is a strong young man in another family who often stays with the moon. , The stars are friends, and the girl is in love with each other. The girl can't do without the boy, and the boy also circles around the girl. There are many girls in the upper village, and there are many girls in the lower village. Your girl expressed her heartfelt love to the young man, wishing to be a married couple and grow old together. But without certain formalities, it is not in accordance with the rules of the Dai people. The young man told his parents about his thoughts, and let us ask you to make decisions. Xinxin should be married. But "you can't open it by yourself in a bamboo cage, and you can't lift it by yourself when you sit in a bamboo basket." So the young man pestered him to ask, but we didn't want to ignore it. Take big strides, walk through the woods, and come to your mansion to propose marriage. Ask the elders to agree to betroth the beloved daughter to the young man, so that his parents can get a good wife." The woman's parents replied: "We are very happy that you two came to propose marriage. But the two children love each other and wish to live forever. We don't know at all whether the man tells the woman that he really loves each other, or the woman tells the man that he wants to be a wife. Ask your daughter, you can't answer right away. If your daughter is tired of being a girl, the millet should be harvested when it is ripe. We will satisfy you. You have to ask the family and the village chief. Therefore, where do you come from, and where do you come from for the time being? If you want to go back, come back next time if you want to!" As long as the woman answered in this way, the next time she came, she could discuss the conditions of engagement and marriage. When the matchmaker goes again, the woman's parents often no longer come forward, but the patriarch and village head will come forward to answer.The content of the questions and answers between the two sides included whether the two young people really love each other, the time limit for the man to visit the woman, the wedding gift, and how to entertain relatives and friends, etc.It can be seen from this that although young people have freedom in love, marriage is not self-determined, and it is not even just a matter of the two families.Because Xishuangbanna is a feudal lord system, if one more person comes to the door, one person will be added to share the feudal burden; on the contrary, if one man goes out, it will affect the interests of everyone.Therefore, to enter and leave the village, the consent of the patriarch and headman must be obtained. Generally speaking, engagement is done after marriage, but there are also many ethnic groups who make a marriage contract at the same time as proposing.Once a marriage contract is engaged, any party breaking the contract will be sanctioned.But the conclusion of this marriage contract that binds the two parties is solemn and humorous. Alcohol is an integral part of a wedding reception and also plays an important role in an engagement. Daur matchmakers should bring a bottle of wine when they say goodbye.When a matchmaker sees the woman's parents, they often explain their intentions in such words: "You have a girl with scissors, and we have a son with a bow. In order to match men and women of different surnames, and to reconcile the two families, we traveled through thousands of miles of bushes. Thorns, breaking through the thick snow covering the mountains, I would rather wear out the soles of my shoes, and I would rather break my back!" In order to facilitate this marriage, the matchmaker would go to the woman's family several times to say goodbye until the woman's parents accepted the matchmaker's toast and Kowtow, the marriage is settled. For the Nu people whose parents arrange their marriages, the matchmaker will bring four bottles of wine to the bride's home when they get engaged.First, take out a bottle and invite everyone to drink. After explaining the purpose of coming, if the woman's parents agree, the matchmaker will take out another three bottles of wine and invite the woman's village neighbors and relatives to drink to announce the engagement. Many ethnic groups want to get engaged with a banquet after a successful marriage proposal. If the Mongolian people propose successfully, the engagement ceremony will be held on an auspicious day: the man's family will hold a banquet for the woman's parents, matchmaker, relatives and friends, and the two sides will exchange khatas.Since then, every year and festival, the young man has to go to the woman's house to say hello. In the Hani nationality, the parents of the man will bring wine, meat, food and other things to the woman's home to hold a banquet, which is called eating engagement wine.When the Wa people in Ximeng get engaged, the man also kills pigs and cooks, and invites the elderly, relatives, friends and partners of both parties to have a meal with wine and wine.When the Dulong people get engaged, the parents of the man will send knives, pots, iron tripods, and wine to the bride's family for the engagement ceremony, and invite the neighbors in the village to drink and eat meat. The Lahu people get engaged by eating fire cage wine.That is to say, the man’s family invites the matchmaker to bring two tubes of rice, two pots of wine, two catties of meat, a chicken, a bag of tea and a piece of salt to the woman’s house, and the matchmaker cooks a meal with the things he brought, and entertains the woman’s parents, relatives and friends. .You can also place fire cage wine on the man's side to entertain the woman's parents, relatives and friends.After eating the fire cage wine, the marriage contract is set.Afterwards, the girl and the boy will go to each other's house to do some work. The man chops firewood, digs the ground, and plows the field; the woman spins, weaves, and sews clothes.If you don't know how to do it or are lazy and don't do it well, the other party can propose a divorce, which will not be condemned by public opinion. It is more common to get married by giving gifts. Men and women of the She (sheshe) ethnic group get married voluntarily, and their parents can generally agree.But we have to go through the form of marriage proposal and engagement.The man wants to invite an elder relative or singer to be a matchmaker, and he will bring a catty of plain noodles and a catty of brown sugar to propose marriage.The woman's parents often don't answer directly, and don't accept gifts, just say: "You can come back when you go back." There is room for negotiation in marriage;The second time the matchmaker came, the woman was still rude and said, "Come again." It was not until the third time that the woman accepted the gift, and the marriage was settled. Compared with the She nationality, the betrothal ceremony of the Jing nationality is much more complicated.Of course, it also varies from place to place, and the amount of gifts is also determined by the economic conditions of the man's family, but headscarves, clothing, pork, chicken, sugar, glutinous rice, tobacco, etc. are indispensable.The small gift is wrapped in red paper and given as an even number, which symbolizes that the couple will grow old together.When the matchmaker and the man's father send these betrothal gifts to the woman's family, the woman's family will kill pullets or capons to entertain them.The chicken should be boiled whole, and when it is not cooked, it should be taken out to see the hexagram of the chicken.Before the banquet, the delicacies should be respected to the ancestors, and the daughter's marriage should be reported to the ancestors.After the banquet, the engagement is complete. When the Bai people get engaged, the man's family sends a bottle of wine and a chicken to the woman's family.Wax strips and betel nuts are indispensable for Dai weddings in Xishuangbanna. Young men and women of the Yi nationality in Guishan, Yunnan have the freedom to fall in love and marry. The parents of both parties generally respect the wishes of their children.When the matchmaker came to the door for the first time, a can of shochu tied with a red thread was used as a meeting gift.But no matter how eloquent the matchmaker is, the woman's parents have to politely decline as usual.They excused that their daughter was too young to be separated from her parents, she couldn't serve her parents-in-law, let alone take care of housework, so they asked a matchmaker to find another mate.This refusal has two purposes: one is to show that the girl has status and will not marry casually; the other is to test the sincerity of the man.After being rejected, the man was not discouraged, and he still asked the matchmaker to come to propose marriage many times, showing the man's sincerity, and would not marry the girl except for this, until the woman's parents readily agreed and accepted the wine.Then choose an auspicious day together, worship the ancestors and engage in marriage, which is called "eating a little wine". In the marriage talk of the Blang nationality in Mojiang, Yunnan, the parents of the man ask the matchmaker to send a belt to the woman. If the woman's parents accept the belt, it means that they agree to the marriage, and if the belt is returned, it means rejection.If the woman accepts the belt, the man's family will send wine, meat, cigarettes, tea and other gifts after one month. The woman's parents will use it to entertain uncles and close relatives, and inform the girl that the marriage has been made, and the marriage is considered settled. After the Salar people successfully propose, they ask the matchmaker to send the woman "engagement tea"—a pair of earrings and a packet of tea leaves. The Yugur matchmaker brings a bottle of wine tied with red wool and a hada to the matriarch's elders to say goodbye. If the woman accepts the gift immediately and exchanges the hada through the matchmaker, the marriage will be considered successful. Marriage with fingertips is also popular among many ethnic minorities. In addition to common engagements among the Xibe people, finger pulp engagements are popular among aunts, aunts, and uncles; sometimes, although the two families are not relatives, they are closely related, and this kind of marriage relationship can also be formed.Usually, after the female family member is pregnant, both parties explain that if they are a man and a woman, they will be the relatives of the son and daughter.This kind of finger pulp is marriage, commonly known as "egg marriage".This kind of finger pulp engagement is also popular among Pumi and Buyi uncles and uncles.Tajik and Lisu also have this kind of engagement.Kirgiz called this kind of engagement "mother-fetal engagement". In addition, there is another engagement method that is close to marriage with the fingertips, called "strap kiss".That is, when the children are young, the marriage contract made by the parents of both parties.This custom of engagement exists between aunts and uncles of the Gelao (gelao) tribe and uncles and uncles of the Buyi tribe. There are also fun and chic ways to get engaged. Marriage proposals on behalf of others are drudgery in many ethnic groups.It is common for Oroqen matchmakers to ask for marriage again and again.He must be smart, alert, courteous, and tireless. He must always pay attention to the slightest hint of promise from the woman's parents, and immediately kowtow to order this marriage (Figure 6). The engagement of the Miao people in southeast Guizhou is to hold a divination ceremony at the woman's home - "killing a chicken to see the eye".The participants were only three or five people from both parents and relatives.Chickens cannot be killed with a knife, but are squeezed to death by a man from the woman's side.After cooking, everyone checks the corns. It is auspicious to open or close the eyes completely, and the marriage will be completed; When the Kazakhs get engaged, the parents and close relatives of the man who go to the woman's home to deliver the engagement gift must be polite and behave at the mercy of the woman.When the woman accepts a good horse and clothing and other gifts from the man, it means that she has accepted the marriage.For this reason, the woman will slaughter sheep and entertain the man's guests with a feast.When the meal is full, the host brings another pot of yoghurt (cheese) exuding an attractive aroma, with boiled sheep tail oil and sheep liver sprinkled on it. Put it in the mouth and face of the guests and wipe it, the guests not only do not dodge, but also have fun with it.The young woman pulled the young offspring among the guests out of the tent and pushed them into the river for fun and laughter, pushing the atmosphere of celebration to a climax. Uzbek engagement ceremonies can only be attended by women and are carried out in two steps.First, the man's mother, accompanied by several female relatives, went to the bride's house to give gifts: one or two pieces of clothing, one or two pieces of tea and some desserts.The woman's mother was also accompanied by several female relatives to warmly entertain the guests, and the mothers of both parties recognized their relatives.The second time, the man’s mother led ten or twenty female relatives and friends to the bride’s house in an orderly manner, each carrying a covered tray. What caught the eye was a big red silk sheep with horns (Fig. 7) ).Arriving at the woman's house, the visitor uncovers the tray and arranges the mouth-watering treats in the beautifully carpeted house, while other preparations begin.The guests are very busy, but the host and his relatives and friends stand by and do nothing to help.After a while, the big and lively sheep just now turned into a delicacy on the plate, and a sumptuous feast was presented in front of the hostess.At the banquet, the man's mother humbly gave the woman's mother a bowl of hot sugar tea.The man's representative will also open the gift for the girl in public, so that all the relatives and friends of the woman can see it.But girls are not allowed to participate in all ceremonies, because the daughter-in-law who has not passed the door cannot see her mother-in-law. This is the Uzbek rule. Although the marriage of the Monba people is decided by the parties involved, formally it is arranged by the parents.After a man and a woman have a relationship, the man usually asks for the consent of his parents and entrusts eloquent relatives and friends to propose to the woman.Some parents of the man will bring some wine and some hada to the woman's house to ask for marriage.Once agreed, the two parties invite two witnesses to write the "engagement letter" immediately. Engagement of the Zhuang people is called "Destiny Ceremony", and the ceremony is quite grand, and the date is determined by the wizard.At that time, the man will send a matchmaker, an elder, two young men and a child to the woman's home with gifts such as dowry money, wine and meat, and bracelets.When holding the "Destiny Ceremony", the cooked pig's head, pork and a chicken should be put on the table to worship the woman's ancestors, and then the hostess of the woman will be entertained.After the meal, the woman wraps the girl's horoscope with red paper, puts it in a cloth bag and puts it on the table, and the man's child quietly carries the bag away under the signal of the matchmaker, saying "recite the horoscope", and the engagement is considered complete. Also known as dowry, it is an important part of marriage.It originated in the era when the wife changed her residence to the husband's residence, as the price for the man to compensate the woman for selling her daughter.Along with the establishment of private ownership and the formation of monogamy, it has increasingly evolved into a naked transactional marriage.Women who are treated as commodities can be exchanged by men for wives with livestock, goods, currency, etc.Among some peoples in early class societies, it was considered natural to openly bargain for a wife.For example, the Lhoba, Kirgiz and other ethnic groups, due to the heavy burden of betrothal gifts, it is difficult for poor men to marry wives, so they can only get married by exchanging relatives. Although it is a common custom to ask for bride price, there are also ethnic groups who do not or rarely ask for bride price.For example, the Russians in our country have no tradition of asking for bride price.If a young man is interested in a certain girl, he asks his father and a matchmaker to accompany him to propose marriage.The gift was just a piece of bread sprinkled with salt, which was said to be a symbol of a good harvest.Upon arriving at the girl's home, the matchmaker said to her parents, "Please accept our bread and salt!" If the proposal is successful, the man only needs to prepare the necessities for the marriage and the girl's wedding dress, and both parties will raise other expenses for the banquet themselves.Ethnic groups that retain the mother's living tradition and independent marriage, such as the Mosuo people in Yongning Township, Ninglang County, Yunnan Province, conclude an annotated marriage. The man only needs to give the woman a little salt, tea and a dress.For the Monba and Lahu peoples who live on the wives' side, the dowry is not heavy.The bride price of the Blang people is only sour tea, grass tobacco and pork. The Manchus have to go through two rituals to get married.The first time it was called Xiaxiaocha.The man's parents, in-laws, and matchmaker will send it with gifts.In the early days, wishful gifts, purses, jewellery, clothes, silk cloth, etc., as well as four-color gifts such as wine, fruit, rice, and meat were given.No matter what, use even numbers.In the late Qing Dynasty, "raising money" was also sent.One month before the wedding, there is a big tea ceremony, also known as a big gift.The man's family chooses an auspicious day to send the official bride price.In the Jin Dynasty, in addition to wine and meat, horses were also given as gifts, and there were as many as a hundred horses for noble families.According to the records of the Ming Dynasty, there were people who sent cattle, horses, clothes, and slaves.The Qing Dynasty clearly stipulated that officials of different ranks should receive different amounts of bride price.For the common people, two pigs or sheep, five bottles of shochu and rice wine, and poultry are used casually.It is also necessary to choose a woman with both sons and daughters to cut a dress for the bride to pray for blessings. Among the ethnic groups that practice arranged marriages, some social production levels are very low, but the bride price is not low.For example, the Dulong people are in the stage of slash-and-burn farming, but the bride price is indispensable for a cow, a pot, an iron tripod, a piece of clothing and necessary jewelry.Those who are rich will give three cows; those who are poor will pay on credit or in installments.The Wa people call the betrothal gift "milk money" and "buying girl money". The former is given to the mother-in-law and must be delivered at the time of marriage; Cattle, if you can’t pay at one time, you can pay on credit. If you can’t pay in the present, the future generations will return it, or wait for the bride’s daughter to grow up and marry one to the grandfather’s family as compensation. The Lhoba people, who were in the early slavery society, practiced naked business marriages. Marrying a wife is called "buying a wife", and marrying a daughter is selling a daughter. Regardless of rich or poor, marriages are all traded.A woman of the noble class is worth six to ten large oxen; a daughter of a free man is worth three to five oxen; and a daughter of a slave is also worth three oxen.The dowries of the Yi people in Liangshan also vary greatly according to their ranks.The amount of the dowry depends on the rank of the woman's family lineage, not her own talent and appearance.Because of this, the betrothal gold for the women of the big black Yi nobles can be as high as one or two thousand taels of silver, while that of the poor and lowly Bai Yi women can be as little as one or twenty taels of silver. In order to minimize the dowry, people tried their best to bargain.In some ethnic groups, the woman moves out a big rock and asks for a dowry of equal weight, while the man, with the help of a matchmaker, pleads to knock the stone down again and again, so as to reduce the dowry.When the Yugu nationality puts forward a very high asking price, the man's matchmaker or son-in-law will kneel down and offer hada, asking for a reduction in the amount of dowry.