Chapter 9 seventh morning

May 16, 1974 The Mystery of the Relationship Between Men and Women Could you please tell us about your life partner - husband, wife or lover. When do we have to be with our partner?At what point do we have to give up on relationships as hopeless, or even harmful? Are our relationships influenced by past lives? The relationship between a man and a woman is a mystery.Because it exists between two people, it depends on both. When two people meet, a new world is created, and just by their meeting a new phenomenon comes into being, which was not there before, which never existed before.Through that new phenomenon, both are changed, transformed.

When you are not related you are one, when you are related you are instantly transformed into another, a new thing happens. When a woman becomes a lover, she is not the same woman anymore!When a man becomes a father, he is not the same man anymore. A child is born, but we completely miss the point that the moment the child is born, the mother is born, which never existed before.The woman has existed, but the mother has never existed, the mother is something completely new. Relationships are created by you, but then in turn, relationships create you. Two people meet, that means two worlds meet, it is not a simple thing, it is very complicated, it is the most complicated.Every human being is a world to himself or herself—a complex mystery, with a long past, and with an eternal future.

In the beginning, only the surroundings meet each other, but if that relationship becomes very close, becomes very close, becomes very deep, then gradually the central part starts to meet, and when the central meeting place, it is called Love. When the surroundings meet, it is acquaintance, you touch that person from the outside, just from the outer part, then it is acquaintance, you often call your acquaintance a lover, then you are wrong, acquaintance is not love . Love is very rare, to meet someone in the center is to make yourself go through a revolution, because if you want to meet a person in his center, you will have to let that person also come to your center, you have to Be very receptive, fully receptive, fully open.

It is risky.Letting someone else reach your center is risky, dangerous, because you never know what that person will do to you, once all your secrets are known, once what you hide becomes unhidden, once you are fully exposed Come out, what that person will do, you never know. That fear is there, so we never open. Just acquaintance, we think love has happened, peripheral parts meet, we think we have met, you are not your periphery.In fact, the perimeter is where you end up, it's just a fence around you, it's not you!The periphery is where you end and the world begins. Even if Mr. and Mrs. have lived together for many years, they may be just acquaintances, and they may not know each other.The more you live with a person, the more you may completely forget that the center remains unknown.

So the first thing to understand is: Don't take acquaintance as love.You may be making love, you may be related sexually, but sex is only on the periphery, unless your centers meet each other, sex is also just a meeting of two bodies.The meeting of two bodies is not your meeting.Sex also remains just acquaintance, it is material and bodily, but still just acquaintance. Only when you are not afraid, only when you are not afraid, can you allow others to come into your center. So, I want to tell you that there are two ways of life, one is directed by fear; the other is directed by love. A fear directed life can never lead you into a deep relationship, you remain fearful and others are not allowed, you do not allow others to penetrate to your core, you allow others to a certain level, and then a wall falls Appeared, and then everything stopped.

A love-oriented person is a religious person; a love-oriented person is a person who is not afraid of the future, who is not afraid of consequences, who is not afraid of consequences, who lives in the here and now. That's what Krishna told Arjuna in the Gita: Don't worry about the result.That's the fear-directed mind, don't think about what will happen to it, just be here, act totally, don't calculate.A fear-oriented person is always calculating, planning, arranging and defending, and his whole life is lost in this way. I have heard the story of an ancient Zen master who was lying on his dying bed, and when the last day finally came, he announced that that night he would cease to exist, so his followers, disciples and friends all came to see him, He had many lovers, and they all came to see him, and people flocked from near and far.

One of the old disciples, when he heard that the master was going to pass away, he ran to the market, someone asked him: Master is going to pass away in this hut, why did you go to the market?The old disciple said: I know Master likes a special kind of cake, so I'm going to buy that kind of cake. It was very difficult to find that cake, because it is out of fashion now, but at night he finally found it, and he ran back with it. Everyone is worried that the master looks like he is waiting for someone, he will open his eyes to see, and then close his eyes again.When this disciple came, he said: Well, you are here at last, where is the cake?The disciple brought out the cake, and he was very happy to say that Master invites you to eat the cake.

When he was dying, Master held the cake in his hands, but his hands were not shaking. He was very old, but his hands were not shaking.So someone asks: You are so old and on the brink of death, your last breath will soon leave you, but your hands are not shaking. Master said, I never tremble because there is no fear, my body has grown old, but I am still young, even when the body is gone, I will still remain young. Then he took a bite of the cake and started to eat it.Someone asked him: Master, what is your last message?You're about to leave, what do you want us to remember? Master smiled and said: Ah!This cake is delicious!

This is a man who lives in the here and now: this cake is delicious!Even death is insignificant, the next moment is meaningless, and in this moment, this cake is delicious! You can only love when you can live in the moment, in the moment, in the abundance of the now. Love is a rare flowering, it happens only sometimes.There are countless people who live with a false attitude, thinking they are lovers, they believe they are loving, but that is just what they believe. Love is a very rare flowering, it happens sometimes, it is rare because it can happen only when there is no fear, before that it cannot happen, that means love can only happen in a deep spiritual and religious people.Everyone can have sex, everyone can meet someone else, but love doesn't necessarily happen to everyone.

When you are not afraid, then there is nothing to hide, then you can remain open, then you can withdraw all boundaries, then you can invite others to penetrate you, to your core. Remember: if you allow others to penetrate you deeply, others will allow you to penetrate into them, because when you allow others to penetrate you, trust is born.When you are not afraid, others also become fearless. In your love, fear is always there, husband is afraid of wife, wife is afraid of husband, lover is always afraid, then it is not love, then it is just two scared people relying on each other, fighting each other, exploiting each other , mutual control, mutual control, mutual domination and mutual possession arrangements, it is not love.

If you can make love happen, then there is no need for prayer, no meditation, no need for any church or temple; if you can love, you can completely forget about God, because through love, everything will happen to you Body: Meditation, prayer and God will happen to you.Everything will happen to you, that's what Jesus meant when he said "Love is God". But love is difficult, and fear must be put aside.It's a strange thing: you're terrified, but you have nothing to lose. Kabir (an enlightened mystic) once said: I see people, they are very afraid, but I cannot see why, because they have nothing to lose.Kabir said: They are like a naked man who never dares to go to the river to bathe because he is afraid where he will dry his clothes. That's the situation you're in - naked, without clothes, but always terrified about clothes. What do you have to lose?Nothing at all.This body will be taken by death, before it is taken by death, give it to love.Anything you're going to get taken with, before it's taken, why not share it?That's the only way to possess it.If you can share and give, you are the master, it will not be taken away, nothing you can keep forever, death will destroy everything. So if you understand me correctly, that struggle is between death and love, if you can give then there is no death.Before anything can be taken from you, you have given it, you have made it a gift, then there can be no death. For a lover there is no death; for a non-lover every moment is a death, because every moment something is snatched from him.The body is disappearing, every moment he is losing something, and then there will be death, everything will be reduced to nothing. What is that fear and why are you so afraid?Even if everything about you were known and you became an open book, what's there to be afraid of?How can it hurt you?Just false ideas, just some conditions that society puts on you saying that you have to hide, you have to protect yourself, you have to be in a fighting mood all the time, everyone is an enemy, everyone is against you. No one is against you!Even if you feel someone is against you, he is not against you.Because everyone is concerned about himself, not you. There is nothing to be afraid of, and this must be understood before a real relationship can take place: there is nothing to be afraid of. Meditate on it and let others come into you, invite others to come into you, don't create any barriers anywhere, become a passage, always open, no locks, no doors, no closed doors on you, then it's possible lovely. When two centers meet, love happens. Love is an alchemical phenomenon, as if hydrogen and oxygen combine, and then a new thing -- water -- is created.You can have hydrogen, you can have oxygen, but if you are thirsty they will not help you, you can have as much oxygen and hydrogen as you want, but they will not quench your thirst. When two centers come together, a new thing is created, that new thing is love, it is like water, the thirst of many, many lifetimes is quenched, and suddenly you become very satisfy. That's the sign love sees - you become content, as if you have achieved everything, now there is nothing left to be achieved, you have reached your goal, there are no more goals, destiny has been fulfilled Yes, the seed has become a flower, the seed has reached its full flowering. Deep contentment is a visible sign of love, and whenever a person falls in love, he is in deep contentment.Love was invisible, but that contentment, that deep contentment that surrounded him, was visible, smelling of contentment in his every breath, every movement, his being. You may be surprised when I tell you that love makes you desireless.Because desire is with dissatisfaction, you desire because you don't have it, you desire because you think if you have something it will give you satisfaction.Desire comes from dissatisfaction. When there is love, when two centers come together and then dissolve, merge and a new quality is born, then there is contentment, it is as if the whole existence stops - there is no movement, then now this A moment is the only moment, then you can say: Ah!This cake is delicious!To a man in love not even death means much to him. So I will tell you that love will make you desireless. Be fearless, throw fear away, be open, allow some center to meet the center within you, through which you will be born again and a new quality of being will be created . The essence of this being says: There is God.God is not an argument, it is a fulfillment, a feeling of fulfillment. You may have observed that whenever you are dissatisfied you want to reject God; whenever you are dissatisfied your whole being wants to say: There is no God. Atheism doesn't come from logic, it comes from dissatisfaction, and you can probably rationalize it, that's another thing.You may not say that you are an atheist because you are dissatisfied, you may say: there is no God, I have proof, but that is not the real reason. If you are content, suddenly your whole being says: There is God.Suddenly you will feel it!The whole existence becomes divine.If there is love, you will for the first time truly be in a sense that existence is divine and everything is a blessing. But before this can happen you have to work a lot, before this can happen a lot has to be destroyed, you have to destroy all the obstacles in you. Make love a path, don't let it be just a frivolity, don't let it be just a mind possession, don't let it be just a mind gratification, make it an inner quest , regard the other party as a help, as a friend. If you've ever heard about Tantric Tantra, you'll know what Tantra says: If you can find a mate, a friend, a man or a woman, who is ready to go into the inner center with you, he Prepare to enter into the highest peak of relationship with you, then this relationship will become meditative, then through this relationship you will be able to achieve the ultimate relationship, then the other party becomes just a door. Let me explain, if you love someone, gradually the surroundings of that person disappear, the form of that person disappears, and you become more and more in touch with the invisible, the inner.That form gradually blurs and disappears, and if you go deeper, then even this invisible individual starts to disappear and dissolve, then the other side opens up, then that particular individual is just a door or an opening through which Through your lover, you have found divinity. Because we cannot love, we need many religious ceremonies, which are substitutes, very poor substitutes. A Meera does not need to go to the temple, the whole existence is her temple, she can dance in front of a tree, and that tree becomes Krishna; she can Dance in front of a bird, and then that bird becomes Krishna, and she creates her Krishna everywhere around her. Her love is so full that wherever she looks, the door will open and then Krishna will be revealed, then the beloved will be revealed The first glimpse is always through the individual, it is difficult to get in touch with the universe, it is so big, so vast, so endless, where to start?Where to enter?Personal is that door, to fall in love. Don't make it a struggle, make it a deep permission to the other, just an invitation to let the other penetrate you, without any conditions, and suddenly the other is gone and God is. If your lover or beloved cannot become divine, then nothing in the world can become divine, then all your religious talk is meaningless. This can happen with a child, with an animal, with a dog, and it can happen if you can be in a deep relationship with a dog, and the dog becomes Divine!So it can happen not only between a man and a woman -- that is one of the deepest sources of divinity, which can reach you naturally -- but it can happen anywhere else as well.The basic key is this: You have to let the other buddy penetrate you, penetrate to your deepest core, penetrate to the very foundation of yourself. But we have been deceiving ourselves, we think we are loving, and if you think you are already loving, then love cannot happen, because if you think you are already loving, then everything is closed. Make some fresh effort, try to find out the true essence hidden in others, don't take anyone for granted, every individual is so mysterious, if you keep going into him, it is endless. But we get bored with other people because we just hang around, just around all the time. I was reading a story about a man who was so ill that he tried all kinds of remedies, but nothing worked.Then he ran to a hypnotist, and the hypnotist gave him a mantra, a suggestion, and asked him to repeat: I am not sick, I am healthy.The first 15 minutes after waking up in the morning and 15 minutes before going to bed, he must repeat: I am not sick, I am healthy.Then throughout the day, whenever you think of it, you repeat it. Within a few days he started to get better, and within a few weeks, he was completely problem-free. Then he told his wife: This is really a miracle!Should I go to a hypnotist and ask him for another miracle?Because lately I feel no libido, the sexual relationship between us has almost stopped, no desire at all. His wife was very happy.She said: You go quickly.Because I also feel quite frustrated. The man went to the hypnotist again.After he came back, his wife asked him: What spell did he give you this time?any suggestion?His husband refused to tell her.But within a few weeks, his libido began to return, and he began to feel that desire again.His wife was very confused, she kept asking, but his husband always smiled and refused to say anything.One day, when his husband was meditating in the bathroom in the morning and reciting the 15-minute mantra, she eavesdropped on him to see what he was reciting, and he kept repeating: She is not my wife, she is not my wife, She is not my wife. We take people for granted, someone is your wife and the relationship is over, someone is your husband and the relationship is over, so there is no risk, the other person becomes a thing or an item.The other is no longer a mystery that you are looking for, the other is no longer new. Remember that the inside of everything becomes dead with time, the surroundings are always old and the center is always new, the surroundings cannot stay fresh because it is getting old and old every moment, but the center is always It's all fresh and young. Your soul is neither a child, nor a young man, nor an old man, your soul is always fresh, it has no age. You can experiment, you may be young, you may be old, just close your eyes and search, try to feel how your center is - old?or young?You will feel that it is neither, it is always new, it is always old.why?Because that center does not belong to time. In the course of time, everything gets old.When a person is born, that body has already begun to grow old!When we say that the child has been born for a week, it means that a week of "oldness" has penetrated the child, that child has been dying for 7 days, he has completed 7 days of dying, he is dying, sooner or later he will die. Anything that comes with time grows old, as soon as it enters time, it is already old, your body is old, your surroundings are old, you cannot love it forever, but your center is always It is new, it will always be fresh, once you are in touch with it, love is a discovery every moment, then that honeymoon will never end.If it's going to end, then it's not a honeymoon at all, it's just an acquaintance. One last thing to always remember: In a loving relationship, if something goes wrong, you will always blame the other person. would destroy the whole possibility of growth. Remember: it is always your responsibility to change yourself, to let go of those qualities that cause problems, to make love a self-transformation. Just like what they said in the salesman course: the customer is always right.I want to tell you this: In the world of relationships and love, you are always wrong and the other person is always right. Lovers always feel this way, if there is love, they always feel: If things are not happening the way they should be, then there must be something wrong with me, both feel the same way, then things will grow, the center will Open up, and the boundaries merge. If you think the other person is wrong then you shut yourself off from the other person and the other person will think you are wrong too because thoughts are contagious and if you think the other person is wrong even if you don't say it , even if you're smiling and showing that you don't think the other person is wrong, the other person will get the point...through your eyes, through your posture and through your face.Even if you are an actor, a great actor, and you can play your face and your gestures, your unconscious will continue to send the signal that you are wrong.When you say that the other person is wrong, the other person will also start to think that you are wrong. Relationships are destroyed by this stone, and then people become closed.If you say someone is wrong, he becomes protective, defensive, and the closure happens. Always remember: in love, you are always wrong.Then that possibility will open up, and the other person will feel the same way, and you and I will create that feeling in the other person.When lovers are very close, thoughts continue to jump from one person to another, and that keeps them from saying anything, even though they are silent, they are communicating. Language is used by those who are not in love, language is used by those who are not in love.For lovers, tranquility is enough language. Although nothing is said on the surface, the inner communication is continuous. If you see love as an inner discipline, then don't tell the other person that it's wrong.Just try to find out that somewhere, something in you is wrong, and put that wrong away. It will be difficult because it is in conflict with the ego, it will be difficult because it will hurt your self-esteem; it will be difficult because it will not be able to dominate or possess.You will not become more powerful by possessing others.This will destroy your ego.That's why it will be difficult. But the destruction of the ego is the point, the goal.Wherever you like to come into the inner world - from love, from ambition, from yoga or from prayer - whichever path you choose, the goal is the same: to destroy the ego, to abandon the ego. Through love it can be done so easily, it is so natural!Love is the religion of nature, nothing else is more natural than love, and if you cannot function through love, it will be more difficult to function through any other means. Don't think too much about the past life, and don't think too much about the future, just the present is enough.Don't think that the relationship is from the past, it is from the past, but don't think about it, because then you will complicate things, make things easier. Things are going on, things carry over from your past life, I don't deny that fact, but don't make it an extra burden on you, it will carry on into the future, but don't think about it, there is too much to deal with right now . Take a big bite out of the cake and say: This cake is delicious!Don't think about the past, don't think about the future, they will take care of themselves. Nothing is discontinuous, in the past you have been in a relationship, you have loved, you have hated, you have created friendship, you have created enmity, that will continue, whether you know it or not, it has always been There is, but if you start meditating on it, you will miss the present moment. So think as if there is no past, think as if there is no coming, this moment is your only moment, develop from here as if this moment is all.Act as if this moment is all, develop from it, and see how you can transform your energy into a loving phenomenon - in this very moment. People come to me and say, they want to know their past lives, they have past lives, but that is irrelevant, why ask this question?What are you going to do with the past?There is nothing you can do about the past now, the past has passed, that fait accompli can no longer be changed, you can no longer change it, you can no longer go back, that is why nature with its wisdom does not allow you to remember the past life, otherwise you must going crazy. You may fall in love with a girl, and if you suddenly realize that the girl was your mother in a previous life, things will become very complicated, so what to do?When that girl was your mother in a previous life, there is guilt in having sex with her, and guilt in not having sex with her, because you love her. That's why I say nature in its wisdom never lets you remember your past lives unless you come to a point where it will allow.When you become very meditative and nothing disturbs you, then the door opens and all your past lives are presented to you.It's an automatic process, and sometimes that process goes awry, and because of some accident, some children are born with the ability to remember past lives, but their lives will be destroyed by it. A few years ago, someone brought a girl to me, she could remember her two past lives, she was only 13 years old at the time, but if you looked into her eyes, her eyes looked almost 70 years old, because she, was 70 years old Things from years ago, things from two previous lives. Her body is only 13 years old, but her mind is 70 years old. She cannot play with other children, because how can a 70-year-old woman play with children?She walked and acted like an old woman, and she carried a burden, and in her head she worried about all those years. Her memory is so clear that both of her past families can be found, one in Assam and the other in Prasaisi, and when she contacts her original family, she becomes very attached to her original family family, so it becomes a difficult question where exactly should she live now. I told her parents: keep this girl here for at least three weeks and I will try to help her forget because this girl's life has become a perversion and she cannot love someone because she is very old!You are always related to your memory, if your memory range is 70 years ago, then you will feel as if you are 70 years old. She seemed to be in pain, her face and her appearance seemed to be in pain, her heart seemed to be sick, she seemed restless, uncomfortable, everything seemed wrong. But her parents were so happy about the whole thing because a lot of people came to them and the papers started reporting and they were so happy about the whole thing and they didn't listen to me and I told them: this girl will go Ape. Since that time, they didn't bring that girl to see me again, but after 7 years, they came, and the girl had gone crazy.They said: Now please think of a way.I said: There is no other way now, the only way to help her is death. You can't remember past lives because it makes you very difficult to arrange, even if it's just this life, you're all messed up, and if you can remember many lives, you're bound to go crazy, so don't think about it, actually It has nothing to do with you either. The point is this: live in the here and now and develop your line from there.If you can function through relationship, that is beautiful; if you cannot function through relationship, then operate alone, these are the two paths.Love means working through relationship, and meditation means working alone.Love and meditation are two paths. Feel to see which path is right for you, and then bring all your energies into that path. Truth is a quiet flowering Beloved Master, your words are very beautiful, yet we feel that when you are not speaking, there is another kind of communication happening. Could you please tell us about quiet communication and how we can become open to it. It is always there when I am speaking to you, and I am also an essence to you.Conversation is to connect with you through reason, and my essential existence is to connect with you with all of me. When you are listening to me, if you are listening then it is not just listening to my words.When you are listening to me, your mind stops; when you are listening to me, you are not thinking.When you are not thinking, you are open; when you are not thinking, your mind is not functioning, then you start feeling, then I can flood you, I can fill you. Language is only used as a design. I am not very interested in language, but I have to speak, because I think that when I am speaking, you will become quiet, and when I am not speaking, you The door speaks within you, and you cannot be silent. If I don't talk and you can be silent, then I don't need to talk, I'm waiting for you to sit next to me and not think for a moment, then there is no need to talk, because talking is partial, then I will It can come to you completely and directly, without any intermediary words. But if I tell you to sit quietly next to me, you cannot sit still, you will go on chattering, you will go on talking inside you, the inner talking will go on, in order to stop your inner talking, so I have to talk, and while I'm talking, you're busy listening. My speech is like a toy for a child. When he is playing with those toys, he will become very focused and quiet. I will give you my words as a toy, and you can play with it. When you are playing When you are very focused, you become very quiet, and whenever that quiet happens, I can flow into you. Words can be beautiful, but they can never be true.Beauty is an aesthetic value, you can enjoy it as if you were enjoying a beautiful picture, but not much happens from that enjoyment, as far as it can go, it is fine, but words They can never be real, they just cannot be by their very nature, truth can only be communicated in stillness. But here is a paradoxical truth: all those who insist that truth can only be communicated in silence, they are also using words, it is a shame, but there is no way, words have to be used to make you peaceful , when you are listening to me, be still, that stillness is very important, that stillness can give you a glimpse of the truth. Even if you glimpse truth through my words, that glimpse is through your stillness, not through my living words.即使你完全确定说，任何我所说的都是真实的，那个完全确定的感觉也是来自你的宁静，而不是来自我的话语。 每当你是宁静的，真理就存在了，每当你内在喋喋不休，每当那个猴子般的喋喋不休在内在继续着，你就错过了那个一直都在现在的真理。 任何我所说的——对你讲话，帮助你跟我一起静心，强迫你进入发泄，或是说服你去跳舞，去庆祝——任何我所做的，只有一个目标：帮助你变得宁静，因为每当你变得宁静，那个门就打开了，你就进入了庙宇。 你以什么样的方式变得宁静是无关紧要的，当你变得宁静，我就在你里面，你就在我里面，宁静是没有界线的。 在宁静当中，爱在发生，对你来讲，我就变成一个爱人；对我来讲，你也变成一个爱人。在宁静当中，一切重要的事都会发生，但是要达到宁静是很费力的，它是一个困难。 我对我告诉你什么并没有太大的兴趣，我对我在谈话时有什么事发生在你身上比较有兴趣，有时候我会一直矛盾，今天我说了某些事，明天我的说法又不同，因为我说什么并不是要点，我的谈话就好像诗，我不是一个哲学家，我或许是一个诗人，但我不是一个哲学家。 明天我的说法将会不同，后天我的说法又会不同，那并不是要点，我的说法或许会矛盾，但是我并不矛盾，因为今天我说了一些话，然后你就变得宁静；明天我又说了一些完全矛盾的话，你也变得宁静了；后天我又说了一些完全矛盾的话，任何我曾经说过的都跟它抵触，但是你也变得宁静了，你的宁静就是我的一致。 我是前后一致的，我经常都前后一致，表面上矛盾，但是内在的流经常保持一样。 记住，如果我每天都告诉你同样的事情，你将无法保持宁静，你将会变得无聊，你内在的谈话将会开始，如果我继续说同样的事情，它将会变得很陈腐，当它是陈腐的，你就不需要去听它，或者甚至不要听，你也知道我在说什么，所以你就可以继续你内在的谈话。 我必须很有创造力，我必须说一些事情，有时候要使你震惊一下，但是有一个内在的一致性继续保持，那就是在你里面创造宁静，因为这样的活，我就能够跟你在一起，你也能够跟我在一起，那么爱和真理就能够开花。 每当有宁静，真理就会开花，真理是宁静的开花。