Chapter 8 sixth morning

May 15, 1974 Are you still carrying her? Beloved Master, there is a Zen story about two monks who are going back to their monastery. There was an older monk walking in front. He came to a river, and there was a beautiful girl on the bank. She didn't dare to cross the river by herself. The old monk didn't dare to look at her, so he crossed the river by himself. When he was on the other side, he looked back and was shocked to see the young monk carrying the girl across the river. After reaching the opposite bank, the two monks continued on their way.When they came to the gate of the monastery, the old monk finally couldn't help but said to the young monk: This is wrong.This is against the precepts, we monks are not allowed to touch women.

The young monk replied: I have left her on the shore, and you are still carrying her? Beloved Master, can I ask you to talk about the suppression and expression of emotion? Man is the only animal who can subdue his energies, but he is also the only animal who can transform those energies, which no other animal can do. Repression and transformation, they exist as two sides of one phenomenon, and that phenomenon is: man can do something to himself. The trees exist, the animals exist, the birds exist; but they can do nothing with their being, they are part of it, they cannot stand outside of it, they cannot be its doers, they dissolve completely into their energy , they cannot separate themselves.

Man can do it, he can do something to himself, he can observe himself from a distance, he can look at his own energies as if they were separate from him.Then, either he can suppress them, or he can transform them. To suppress means to hide the energies of certain beings, not to allow them to have their own being, not to allow them to have their own manifestation; to transform means to change the energies, to bring them to a new level. For example, sex exists, and there is something about sex that makes you feel awkward. This embarrassment is not just because society teaches you that. There are many types of societies in the world, or there have been, but there is no society, no society. A human society can see sex as easy and normal.

In the sexual phenomenon there is something that embarrasses you, makes you feel guilty, makes you conscious.what is that?Even if nobody teaches you anything about sex, nobody moralizes it and presents it to you, nobody creates any idea about it, still there is something in that phenomenon that disturbs you, what is it? First thing: sex reveals your deepest dependence, it shows that you need someone for your happiness, without someone else, that happiness becomes impossible, so you depend, your independence is lost, it will hurt your ego.So the more egoistic a person is, the more he is against sex.

Your so-called saints are against sex, not because sex is bad, but because of their ego, they cannot imagine themselves depending on others, begging for something from others, sex is the most hurtful thing for ego. Second, in the sexual phenomenon there is the possibility of rejection - the other can reject you, you cannot be sure that you will be accepted or rejected; the other can say no.This is the deepest rejection - when you approach someone for love and they reject you. This rejection creates fear, and the ego says it's better not to try, lest it be rejected. Dependence, rejection - the possibility of rejection, and, deeper, in sex you become animal-like.

That hurts one's ego because then there's no difference between a dog having sex and you having sex.What's the difference?Suddenly you become like an animal, and all the preachers and all the moralists, they have been saying to people: Don't be an animal!Don't be like an animal!This is the greatest condemnation. Nothing else makes you feel so animal as in sex, because in nothing else you are not so natural, in everything else you can be unnatural. You are eating, and you have become sophisticated in eating, so you are not like an animal.The basic thing is like an animal, but the table you create around the food, the table manners and the whole culture, make it different from the animal.

Animals like to eat alone, so every society creates a concept in everyone's mind that eating alone is not good.To share, to eat with family, with friends, or with some guests.No other animal would be interested in guests, friends or family.Whenever an animal is eating, it doesn't want other animals near it, it goes into solitude. If someone wants to eat alone, you say he is like an animal, he does not want to share.In fact, his eating habits are natural rather than sophisticated. We create so much pretense around food that hunger has become less important and taste more important.No animal cares about taste, hunger is the basic need, when hunger is satisfied, animals are satisfied; but people are not like this, it seems that hunger is not the main point, other things are the main point.Taste is more important, etiquette is more important, how you eat is more important, but what you eat is not important.

In everything else, too, man creates his own artificial world around him.Animals are naked, that's why we don't want naked bodies.If someone gets naked, he hits our culture all of a sudden, he cuts off the roots of the culture, and that's why there's so much opposition to nudity all over the world. If you walk out on the street naked, you don't hurt anyone, you don't do any violence to anyone, you're totally naive, but the police will come for you immediately, the whole place will be shaken, and you will Get caught and tortured, you will be locked up, but you did nothing at all?Evil happens when you do something, but you don't do anything, you just look at your body walking!Why is society so angry?It's really weird that society isn't even that mad at a murderer yet, but at a naked person.

That's because murder still belongs to man, no animal murders, they kill other animals to eat, but they don't murder, also, no animal murders its own species, only man does so It belongs to people, and society can accept it. But society cannot accept nudity, because naked people make you suddenly aware that you are all animals, no matter how you hide behind clothes, that animal still exists, that naked, that unclothed animal still exists, that The naked ape still exists. The reason you object to a naked person is not because he is naked, but because he makes you aware of your nakedness, so your ego feels hurt.

With clothes, man is not an animal; with eating habits and etiquette, man is not an animal; with language, morality, philosophy and religion, man is not an animal. The most religious thing is going to church or praying in a temple, why is it so religious?Because no animal goes to church, no animal prays, it is entirely human.Going to the temple and praying makes one obvious difference -- you are not an animal. But sex is animal behavior, no matter what you do, no matter how you hide it, no matter what you create around it, that basic fact remains animal, when you get into it, you become like an animal .

Because of this fact, people cannot enjoy sex, they cannot become animals completely, their ego does not allow it. So there is a conflict between ego and sex -- "sex" versus "ego."The more egoistic a person is, the more he is against sex; the less egoistic a person is, the more involved he is in sex.But even a person with little egoism can feel a sense of guilt, and although he will feel less, he will still feel that something is wrong. When one goes deep into sex the ego is lost, and as the moment comes closer and closer, when the ego is disappearing, fear grabs you. So people aren't really deep and real when they're having sex and getting into sex, they're just making a superficial display that they're having sex.Because if you are really making love, all civilization has to be dropped, your mind will have to be put aside, your religion, your philosophy and everything has to be put aside, and suddenly you will feel Until a very wild animal is born inside you, you will roar, and you may start really roaring like a wild animal - screaming and moaning.If you let it come out, the language will disappear, the sound will be there, just like a bird or an animal making a sound, and suddenly the whole civilization of a million years is gone, and you become like an animal again , in a wild world. There is a fear and because of that fear it becomes almost impossible to love and that fear is real because when you lose yourself you almost go crazy and you get wild and anything is possible happens, and you know that anything can happen, you may even kill your lover, you may start eating her body, because then the control is gone. Repression seems to be the easiest way to avoid all of this.Repression, or only allowing to the point where it's not dangerous, only allowing that part that can always be kept in control, you can keep in control, you can manipulate, you only allow up to a certain point, then you don't allow it, then you're shut yourself off. Repression can be used as protection, as a defense, or as a safety measure.There are many religions that use this security, they exploit your fear of sex, they make you more afraid, they create an inner tremor, they make sex a basic sin.They say: You cannot enter the Kingdom of God unless sex is gone.In a way, they were right, but they were still wrong. I also say that you cannot enter the Kingdom of God until sex disappears, but sex disappears only when you fully accept it -- not repress it, but transform it. There are many religions that exploit man's fears and man's tendency to become egoistic, and they create many techniques to suppress.Repression is not very difficult, but it comes at a very high price, because your whole energy splits and fights within itself, then your whole life force dissipates. Sex is the most vital energy, the only energy you have, don't fight it; it will be a waste of life and time, instead, transform it.But how?How to transform it?What can we do?If you understand fear, then you can understand the clue -- what can be done. That fear exists because you feel that you are going to lose control, and once you lose control, you cannot do anything.I teach you a new kind of control: that of the Witnessing self.Not the control of the manipulating mind, but the control of the "seeing self".I will tell you that control is the supreme control that can happen, that control is so natural that you never feel that you are in control, that control happens naturally with witnessing. Enter sex, but become a witness.The only thing to keep in mind is: I have to be face to face with the whole process, I have to see through it, I have to remain a witness, I cannot become unconscious, that's all. Be wild, but don't become unconscious, then the wild will not be dangerous, then the wild will be beautiful.In fact, only a wild person can be beautiful, because when you go off-road, you are more alive, then you are like a wild tiger, or a wild moose, running in the forest, how wonderful it is beautiful! But here is the difficulty: not becoming unconscious.If you become unconscious, then you are under the force of unconsciousness, then you are under the force of karma.Whatever you have done in the past accumulates there, and that accumulated conditioning grabs you and moves you in certain directions that are dangerous to you or to others, but if you remain a witness, the past conditioning cannot put one's oar in. So, the whole method and the whole process of becoming a witness is the process of transforming sexual energy.Get into sex, stay alert, watch it, see through it, for whatever is going on, don't miss it.Anything that happens to your body, your mind and your inner energy, there is a new electrical current that is being formed, the electrical current of the body is moving on a new channel, on a new circulatory pathway, and now the electrical current of the body has been Partner, with wife, or with spouse, now, an inner circle is created, you can feel it, if you are alert, you can feel it, you will feel that you have become Become a top tool of flowing vitality. Be aware, and soon you will be aware that the more that current builds up, the more thoughts will be dropped, they are like yellow leaves falling from a tree, the thoughts disappear and the mind becomes more and more more empty. Be alert and soon you will understand that you exist but without ego you cannot say 'I', something bigger than you has happened to you and you and your partner are both part of that in greater energy. But the fusion should not become unconscious, otherwise you miss the point, then it is a beautiful sex act, but not a transformation; it is beautiful, there is nothing wrong with it, but it is not a transformation.If it is unconscious, then you will always be on the same old track, and you will want to have this experience over and over again, and as far as the experience is concerned, it is beautiful, but it will become a routine, every day. Once you have this experience, this desire will be created again, the more you experience it, the more you will desire it, then you enter a vicious circle, you will not grow, you will just stay where you are spin around. It's not good to be spinning in circles because then the growth doesn't happen, then the energy is just wasted, even if that experience is good, that energy is wasted, because more is possible and it just gets wasted. There in the corner, with just a little turn, there could be more, with the same energy you might reach divinity, with the same energy you might reach ultimate ecstasy, and you waste that energy on fleeting experiences, those Experience gradually becomes boring because everything becomes boring by repetition over and over again, and when that freshness is lost boredom arises. If you can be alert, you will see: first, the energy changes in the body; second, thoughts are thrown from the mind; third, the ego is thrown from the heart. These three things have to be carefully observed and contemplated, when the third happens, the sexual energy becomes the energy of meditation, so that you are no longer in sex, you may be lying with your lover, Two bodies close together, but you are no longer there, you have been transplanted into a new world. This is what Shiva has been talking about in the Book of Arcanas and other Tantra books, he has been talking about this phenomenon - you are changed, there is a mutation.This will happen through witnessing. If you use repression, you can become a so-called "person" - false, superficial, empty inside, just a model, not real.If instead of repression you use indulgence, you will become like an animal -- beautiful, even more beautiful than a so-called civilized man, but just an animal, not alert, not aware, not aware of growth. possibility, unaware of human potential. If you transmute energy, then you will become divine, remember, when I say divine, there are two things implied in it - the very wild animal is there with all its beauty, that The very wild animal is not denied, it's there - richer because it's more alert now.So all the wildness and its beauty is there, all that civilization has been trying to impose on us is there, but it becomes more natural, not compulsive. Once the energy is transmuted, nature and God meet within you - nature with its beauty and God with its total grace. That's what sage means, sage means the meeting of nature and divinity, the meeting of creator and created, the meeting of body and soul, the meeting of that which is below and that which is above, the meeting of earth and heaven. Lao Tzu said: The earth and the sky meet, and the Tao takes place—this is the meeting. Witnessing is the basic source.But it is very difficult to be a witness in everyday life if you do not try to be a witness in other acts of daily life.So, try it all day, otherwise you will be in self-deception.If you cannot be a witness while walking, then, do not deceive yourself, you cannot be a witness while making love.Because just walking, such a simple process you cannot be a witness -- you become unconscious in it -- so how can you become a witness in making love?The process is so deep...you get lost in unconsciousness. When you're on the road, you slip into unconsciousness.Try it: you won't be able to remember even a few seconds.Try it, try it when you are walking: I will remember that I am walking, I am walking, I am walking, and after a few seconds, you forget.Other things will jump into your mind and you will run in other directions and completely forget about walking, and suddenly you will remember: I forgot.So if an act as small as walking cannot be made conscious, it will be difficult to make lovemaking a conscious meditation. So start with simple things or simple activities, try it when you are eating; try it when you are walking; try it while you are talking or listening to it; Come try, make it a constant hammering inside, let your whole body and mind know that you are trying to be alert. Only then, one day, when you are making love, the witnessing will happen.When it happens, ecstasy happens to you, the first glimpse of divinity has come to you. From that moment sex will not be sex at all, sooner or later sex will disappear, and this disappearance can bring you natural desirelessness, then you become a desireless person. Many people who claim to be desireless, they are only nominally desireless because their minds go on making love, more so than your mind.For them, sex has become of the brain, and that's the worst thing that can happen because it's a perversion.If you think about sex, it is a perversion.Making love is natural, but to think about it, to be constantly involved in it in the mind, is a perversion.So-called monks are perverted people, not because they are monks, but because they have chosen the path of repression, which is a wrong path, it will not lead you anywhere. Jesus, Mahavira, or Buddha, they all follow the path of witnessing, and then natural dispassion happens. Brahmacharya is a beautiful word that means: the way of the divine.The way divinity works is natural desirelessness, and it is not against sex.As far as the word itself is concerned, it is not against sex at all, the word just means that this is how the divine acts, bows, moves, walks. Once you know the satori that is possible through contemplating sex, your whole life will be transformed and you will start to behave like a god. What are the characteristics of the behavior of the gods, how does the divinity behave? One thing: he doesn't depend; he's totally independent, he gives you his love, but it's not a need, he gives out of his abundance -- he has too much.If you accept what he gives, then you're taking some of the weight off him, but it's not a need. God is a creator, and whenever sex becomes a transforming force, your life becomes creative.Sex is a creative force, now it enters the biological level, it creates new people, it begets new people.When there is no sex and the energy has the ability to transform, it goes into new worlds of creation, and then many new levels of creation open up to you. It's not that you're going to start painting, or writing poetry, or whatever, it's not like that, it may happen, it may not happen, but whatever you do, it becomes an act of creation, any Everything you do will become art. Even Buddha sitting under the bodhi tree, doing nothing, is created, the way he sits, the way he sits there.He is creating a force, an energy and a vibration around him. Recently, people have done a lot of research on the pyramids in Egypt, and they have learned many mysterious facts, one of which is the shape of the pyramid, which itself is very mysterious.Scientists know by accident that if you put a dead body inside a pyramid, it can be preserved very well without any chemical substance, the shape alone helps the preservation.Then a German scientist thought: If that shape can have such a function that the body can be preserved automatically - just by that shape, just the pressure of that shape... So he used it to experiment with his shaving Knife, he made a little pyramid, a cardboard pyramid, and put the used razor blade in it, and within a few hours, that blade would regain its sharpness, and that shape would work again. The blade came back sharp, and he went to apply for a patent. A blade lasts a lifetime, as long as you keep it in the pyramid.No need to do anything but that shape to sharpen it again, to sharpen it again and again.Now scientists say that each shape creates a special environment. A Buddha sits under a bodhi tree, the way he sits, that posture, the phenomenon that he is there without ego, creates countless vibrations around, and those vibrations will go on spreading, even when the Buddha Leaving this tree, those vibrations will go on and on, and they will touch other planets and other stars.Whenever a buddha vibration is touched, it is creative, it gives you an excitement, it gives you a new breeze. When sexual energy is transmuted, your whole being becomes creative - independent, free, creative, and whatever you do, you create through it, even if you do nothing, That inaction also becomes creative. Just your existence will create many beautiful, real, and good things. Now let's talk about that story.The old monk said to the young monk: This is against our rules, you should not touch that girl.The reason why he said this is not just because of the rules, there are many things implied in it, he is rationalizing things, he is jealous, that is how the human mind works-you can't just say you in jealousy. That beautiful girl was standing by the river, the sun was getting lower and lower, the girl was scared, and then this old monk came, he was going to the monastery, and he looked at the girl, because it is almost impossible for a monk to miss a girl, no Maybe not to see her, this is very difficult for a monk, women are always in his mind!He fought fiercely, and he was always aware that the enemy was in the woman. You may miss a friend, but you cannot miss an enemy, you will definitely visit her.If you're walking down a street and the enemy is there, it's impossible not to look at her.If friends pass by, you may not be aware of their presence.But the enemy, impossible, because there is a fear of the enemy. A pretty girl, standing there alone, with no one around!The girl wanted someone to help her - the river was unfathomable and she dared not cross it. That old monk must have tried to close his eyes, must have tried to close his heart, must have tried to close his sex center, because that was the only protection against the enemy, he must have been in a hurry, he must have I dare not look back.But when you are avoiding, you are actually looking; when you are trying not to look, you are actually looking. His whole mind is full of that girl, his whole being revolves around that girl, he is crossing the river, but now he is not aware of the river, he cannot be.He was going to the monastery, but now he has no interest in the monastery, his interest in the monastery has been left behind. Then suddenly he thought of his companion, another young monk, who was coming, and they were going together for alms.He looked back and not only did he see the young monk there, he saw the young monk carrying the girl on his back! This scene must have made the old monk very jealous. He wanted to do this himself, but because of the rules, he couldn't do it, but he had to take revenge!Then they walked for several miles without talking. At the gate of the monastery, the old monk suddenly said: This is wrong, it violates our precepts. That silence was false. During the few miles of walking, the old monk was thinking about how to take revenge and how to condemn the young monk. He had been thinking about this, otherwise he would not have suddenly said this— - The mind is a continuum.During these two or three miles, he must have been thinking about what to do, and finally he spoke. It doesn't happen suddenly, there is a flow within.He said: This is wrong, this is against the rules, I have to go back and report to the abbot, the table to the master, you have violated the rules, and that is a very basic rule - monks cannot touch women, and you not only If you touch her, you will carry her on your back. The young monk must have been surprised that the old monk's words came so suddenly! ——Because there are no girls anymore, and there is no river, and no one is carrying girls on their backs. The whole incident has passed, and they kept completely silent during the three miles. The young monk said, I have You put that girl down on the other side, and you're still carrying her on your back.It's a deep-seated insight that you carry what you don't, you may be weighed down by something that isn't there, you may be crushed by something that isn't there. The old monk is taking the line of repression, the young monk is just a symbol that he is already moving towards transformation, because "transformation" accepts women, accepts men, and accepts others, because transformation must happen through others, others will participate Power comes in, suppressing or rejecting another is against the other, the other must be destroyed. This story is beautiful, what we want is the way of young monks, don't be that old monk, but be that young monk.Accept life as it is, and try to be alert. That young monk must be able to stay alert when carrying that girl. If you are alert, what can that girl do? There is a small anecdote, a monk is leaving the Buddha, and he is going to spread the Buddha's message everywhere.So he asked Buddha: What should I do with women?Because women have always been a problem for monks.Buddha said: don't look at them, this is the easiest way - just close yourself, not looking at them means close yourself, forget their existence. But the matter is not so easy, and if it were so easy, then all those who know how to close themselves, they must have been transformed. Ananda, one of Buddha's disciples, he knew that the problem was not so easy...for Buddha it may be very easy, this is a problem: you come to me with a problem, it may be easy for me, But that won't help you.Ananda knew that the Buddha just replied casually: Don't look at them.It was very easy for Buddha.Ananda knew it wasn't easy for herself.He asked: If the situation is something we have to look at, and we cannot avoid it, then what should we do? So Buddha said: Don't touch.A look is also a touch. It is a touch through the eyes. From the eyes you touch with your hand. That's why if you look at a woman for more than three seconds, she will feel disturbed.Three seconds is the maximum limit, within three seconds is allowed.It is allowed because in everyday life we ​​all have to look at each other, but if it takes more than three seconds, the woman who is looked at becomes disturbed because you are touching her, so you are Use your eyes as hands. So Buddha said: Don't touch.But Ananda insisted, Ananda has done a very great thing for the whole human being, because he will always persist.He said: Sometimes there are some situations that we have to touch, what do you say in this situation?If a woman is sick, or the woman is down on the floor, and no one else can help, then we have to touch, and if that is the case, then what do we do? The Buddha smiled and said: Then be vigilant! The last thing the Buddha said is the most important.Closing your eyes won't help, not touching won't help because you can touch in your imagination, you can see in your imagination, it doesn't take a real woman or a real man There, just close your eyes...you can have a world of imaginary women or men that you can touch and see in your imagination, and finally, there is one thing that can help - be the police. The old monk must not have heard the whole story, must not have heard all three answers of the Buddha, he is still stuck in the first two answers, the young monk has learned to be alert, he approached the woman... and then desire Rising... Be alert when desire arises. The problem is not with the girl, because how can that girl be your problem?She is her problem, not yours.Desire arises in you -- desire for women, and that is the problem.The woman is not a problem at all, any girl, any woman, she is just a point of reference, seeing a woman, the desire arises. To be alert means to be aware of the desire, aware that the desire has happened to me. A person who goes the repressive route suppresses the desire, closes his eyes to the object and runs away. This is the way of escape, but where can you escape?Because you are running away from yourself. You can run away from the woman standing by the river, but you cannot run away from the desire that arises in you. Wherever you go, the desire follows you. Be aware that the desire is arising. In fact, there is no need to say anything to a woman if she asks: Help me!Then you go to help her; if he says: I am afraid, I dare not cross the river, please carry me across the river, then you carry her across the river!She gave you a very good opportunity to keep you on your toes, thank her for that.Be alert and feel what arises within you?What is going on inside you?You're carrying a girl, what's going on inside you? If you are alert then there is no woman, just some extra weight on your shoulders; if you are not alert then there is a woman, if you are alert then she is just bones, pressure and weight, if you are not Be alert, then desire arises, there is imagination, there is hallucination. With a woman on your shoulders, both things can happen.If you are not alert then the illusion is sitting on your shoulders; if you are alert then it is just some weight, you are just carrying a weight. The young man who crossed the river was going through a great training, he didn't avoid the situation, and that situation is life, he didn't avoid life, he went through it with an alert mind.有很多次他或许都锗过了，有很多次他或许都完全忘掉，然后整个幻象就会存在，有很多次他或许会重新恢复他的警觉——突然问会有光出现，然后黑暗就消失了。经历过这个警觉一定是一种非常美的经验。 然后他将那个女孩在对岸放下来，开始走向他的僧院，仍然保持觉知，因为问题不在于那个女人是否在那里，记忆会留下来。在渡河的时候，他或许并没有去享受那个女人或是她的碰触，但是他或许会在记忆中享受它。 他一定保持警觉，他保持沉默，他的沉默是真实的。真正的宁静总是透过警觉而来，那就是为什么他说：我已经把那个女人留在河边，我根本就没有背她，而你还背着她。在那个老和尚的头脑里，事情仍然在继续着，而他什么事都没有做，他甚至没有去碰触那个女孩。 所以，有没有做并不是问题，你的头脑怎么运作才是问题。要警觉，渐渐地，你的能量就会被蜕变，旧的将会消失，而新的会生出来。