Chapter 14 Chapter 5.3

However, things backfired.She was deeply moved and cried.It was as if a good bride had been touched by the fate of a poor shepherd—as is often described in fairy tales... She said: "Then you need someone to love you even more!..." Then I understood - she was really in love with me from that moment on. The so-called "fate" that I have been looking forward to, it was at that moment that it showed its face and winked at me narrowly... I'm paranoid that it's absurd for a man to go shopping for a piece of clothing he's wearing.It's also unforgivable for his wife to go shopping for the clothes he wears.

Because in a sense, that time doesn't belong to her completely, it belongs to them.The leisure time of modern people is extremely limited, is it worth it for a piece of clothing? Nowadays, there are not many daughter-in-laws who treat their father-in-law as filial as their own fathers, especially young daughter-in-laws... Poverty has marked me so deeply that it has made me an instinctive and uncomplaining low consumer. Good husbands come in all shapes and sizes. My wife agrees with my understanding of friendship and love.Only under this premise can I learn to be proud of a magnanimous man.I don't think extramarital affairs are something to be ashamed of, but I also don't like all the men and women who are always playing games outside of marriage.

I have no privacy with my wife.I think this is the main point of her love for me. My frankness with her deserved her respect for my extramarital affections.In fact, she was also proud.She "does nothing" to me, and I learned from her "family policy" how a married man should respect and love himself... There are all kinds of good wives. If you choose a wife, the one who is most suitable for you is the one who has the most "fate" with you.The good ones don't all fit.The one that suits you is probably the best for you... Women are crippled men. More than two thousand years ago, a man said so.

He is a great man. His name is Aristotle. So his words are believed by many men.And full of educated men.Uncultured men don't take Aristotle seriously.There is no question of taking his word for it. So a woman named Medea once lamented: "Among all rational and spiritual creatures, women are the most unfortunate." Therefore, in the eyes of men, women are always just their spouses.Including all outstanding women. But God is a man after all.When he praises a woman, his logic cannot go beyond the purely man's point of view that a woman is a man's "spouse". Though God never said so—virtuous women are always looking for virtuous men.Far fewer women find attractive men than men find beautiful women.

This should be a great tragedy for men. God also said - "Let a woman study silently and completely. I don't allow a woman to preach, and I don't allow her to control men. As long as she is quiet. Because Adam was created first, and then Eve." There was a man who disagreed with the word of God. He said - "Men, some are calm, some are aggressive, but every woman is the queen of life." His name was Pope. Now there are more and more men who judge women fairly. Because now there are more and more men who can only be spouses of women. Because now there are more and more women who are not willing to be the spouse of men.

In this era when men are generally "weak"—including myself, of course—if women are still willing to be the spouses of men, then the men and women of our nation may only sigh. The warmest and most poetic part of human life, the part that can purify human emotions and tend to be beautiful, comes from women.So I say, men create the world, and women create men. Women create men, in addition to emotion and instruction.When a man comes into this world, the first teacher is his mother.When observing a mature man, regardless of his strengths and weaknesses, there are almost always traces of a woman's education.And this kind of education can affect a lifetime.

It is said that there are women worship emotions in my works.After thinking about it calmly, I admit it. From my mother, I can more clearly understand the suffering and burden that a woman, especially an ordinary woman, bears in life.My novels therefore have a constant homage to sexuality.My personality, how I deal with people, I follow my mother in many aspects.Such as tolerance, wronging oneself to seek balance in interpersonal relationships, etc., although I am still not sure whether it is good or not, some people may think it is pedantic. Women trust mirrors, men trust women's eyes.

Men pursue success, while women are more realistic. Men always seem to be looking for opportunities, just like looking for a car and driving out in a hurry, knowing in advance that the future will be better than the present, so men are often confused, anxious, and unbalanced.Women are more practical. With regard to this condition and this environment, the focus is to adapt and strive for a better life under the conditions. The anguish of women is actually the anguish of the times. I often think that our generation is full of disasters, ten years of turmoil, we have lost many opportunities, and it is even worse for women, they have almost no love, and hurried into the family.In order to survive Tian.A few years later, this generation of women may produce excellent writers, experts, and outstanding figures, but if you look at their emotional history, page by page is likely to be pale and empty.They got it and they lost it.At that time, they stayed together with the man that fate threw her, and the pain can be imagined.

Women belong to the emotional world, and if they are not budding and enjoying the best years of life, they wither and can only bear astringent bitter fruit.This is very cruel to women. I admit that for a long time, before marriage, no matter what, women still have longings and even a glimmer of hope.Once married, it is doomed to no longer have a self. Why are there so many career-oriented and strong women in this generation?As far as the commodity era itself is concerned, it does not accept and reject traditional women. Only by rebelling against tradition and accepting challenges can we follow the trend.But this kind of rebellion is doomed to be powerless. The most outstanding women in the commodity era are often the ones who suffer the most and the deepest. After they give out a brief cheer, they will immediately fall into a kind of introspective pain.

If you are not beautiful, the temperament of conversation is also a charm; if you are born poor, your intelligence is also a considerable wealth.In a word, you can be a good woman if you want to. I gradually formed such an impression that contemporary women, no matter modern or traditional, actually still care more about how contemporary men view themselves.Indeed, most contemporary women, whose self-awareness is no longer dominated by men's likes and dislikes, sometimes still hope to get some kind of good feeling from men's comments on women.On the face of it, this means that the modern ones are not as independent-minded as they claim to be; the traditional ones are still voluntarily accustomed to the tradition.

Interestingly, I think——contemporary middle-aged women seem to hope to hear more business comments from contemporary men than contemporary young women. And so are contemporary young women. For wives in the fifties, serving their husbands seemed to be the first duty.And raising children is a secondary responsibility. After the husbands go to work, the home is the world of the women.The status of their hostess has only begun to be more fully reflected.When the husbands are at home, it is like the emperor riding in the Golden Barbarian Palace.Even if he is the "Master of the Ming Dynasty", and she has a higher status in his eyes, she is just a close servant.Every word and deed, it is inevitable that you always have to watch your appearance.There are even more obedient ones, the husband's order is to obey.The economy is the foundation, because their hard work is not directly reflected in laying the economic foundation of the family, so they can't stand up anyway.The actual status of the family is low, although after liberation, there has been no essential improvement.Half are wives and half are servants.Due to the congenital lack of the family's cultural background and the long-term ignorance of the husband and wife's sense of civilization, this situation is especially common, especially in the homes of the common people and the poor. What kind of woman a housewife is, others will know it as soon as they enter her house.A woman who manages a house well, no matter the size of her house, well-furnished or simple, can be seen at a glance, and poverty cannot offset it.Husbands, children, and the elderly are their advertisements. In the 1950s, in China, the people who had the most limited jealousy were probably housewives. More precisely, it is precisely the housewives of the commoner class.In saying this, I do not mean to promote the virtues which they seem to naturally come closest to being feminine.The point is to emphasize that they cannot directly participate in the competition for fame and fortune in society; at the same time, almost all the phenomena worthy of women's envy exist outside their short and narrow field of vision.It is impossible for a man or a woman to be jealous of a phenomenon of which he is not aware.Being in such a group and closed life form of them determines that they really have nothing to envy other women. Housewives are most jealous, really jealous - whose husband treats his wife better than his husband treats himself. Girls are no longer jumping on the grid and rubber bands.That was seen as a "little girl" game.They especially skip rubber bands less.Because rubber band jumping is a summer sport.They wear skirts more in summer.Jumping the rubber band sometimes requires lifting the skirt.How high the rubber band is lifted is how high one leg must be kicked. They have already felt indecent.And the mothers would reprimand them if they saw that they were still playing.If my own mother doesn't reprimand her, the mothers of other people's families will also discuss: "It's such a big girl, she is so shameless to lift her skirt and kick her legs high. I don't know if her mother has taken care of it!" I have always believed that jumping rubber bands is a game that is extremely beneficial to health and bodybuilding for girls.Their sensitive postures when they danced rubber bands are still imprinted in my mind.The scene when their mother reprimanded them has always been an interesting part of my memory. In the final analysis, the awakening of women's self-awareness is not determined by any other conditions and factors, but firstly determined by the development of industry.The development of industry brought a wide range of urban employment opportunities.A wide range of employment opportunities has increased the income of many families.Families with increased income can afford to pay for their children's education.In the face of more general cultural education, there is a difference in the process and stage of changing the consciousness of men and women in general—it makes men start to care about things other than themselves, and it makes women start to think about things related to themselves.It's like unfolding a painting in front of men's eyes, so that men know that the world is much wider than what they understand; unfolding a field of painting in women's minds, so that women know that women's destiny is much richer than they think.The picture was originally in the woman's mind.It's just that it is curled up and still hugged, and it cannot be unfolded without relying on the spell of the times. Only very special women can unfold it with their own awakening ahead of the acquiescence of the times.They are rebellious women in any era... I have always felt that if a woman reading a book quietly is beautiful in herself, there is no doubt that she is even more beautiful in that way.If she is unbeautiful in herself, there is no doubt that it will add beauty to her. I have always felt that there are four types of female images that are moving-girls resting their chins in meditation; young women reading books; mature women nurturing; old women knitting. People's pursuit of knowledge can be roughly classified into two categories - one is due to interest; the other is due to need. Chinese women back then almost all pursued knowledge out of need.More specifically, the pursuit of diplomas.A diploma can help them find a career that meets their ideals more smoothly. Knowledge and academic qualifications have become a symbol thrown to people by the times. This sign even affects the concept of mate selection of women of marriageable age. "I'll introduce you to a boyfriend, Zhao, who is a college graduate!" If the other conditions of "him" are not very poor, nine out of ten women of marriageable age are happy to see him. Just as someone said to them today: "Let me introduce you to a boyfriend, he is a rich man!" - Many of their eyes would lighten up for it. These three items of university graduation have become one of the items with the highest mate selection criteria for women of marriageable age in China. They think that their conditions are superior, and even publicly stated that non-university graduates will not marry. Of course, many women who are waiting to be married in China today often include this criterion in the requirements for choosing a spouse. But in those days, that was one of the highest standards. Today, it is almost the minimum, the lowest standard. Just a few years ago, all kinds of young male scammers from all over the world were pretending to be college graduates again and again to cheat young women's hearts—unexpectedly, only a few years later, they began to pretend to be the children of wealthy businessmen abroad . Some women who have advanced education but are naturally not very good-looking, of course, are even more indignant in their hearts at the evil of this phenomenon of the times.Not only is it bad, but in their minds, it is simply ugly!Simply amazing! Back then, I was also one of the Chinese men who strongly criticized this phenomenon of the times. But now that I think about it carefully, this phenomenon of the times is really an extremely normal phenomenon from ancient times to the present. Regardless of men and women, they always hope to achieve a certain purpose through the easiest way. There are only three easiest ways for women to live a life so much better than other people, and it is the oldest and most traditional one--by marrying a man who can give them that kind of life. Although this method is old, it is definitely not outdated.It is still practiced by many women in many countries around the world. Appearance is capital.Youth is stock.It also implies them—the sum of the two is far greater than the value of all the knowledge that a woman's head can possibly hold.Just like the sum of any two sides of a triangle is greater than the third side. Two completely different kinds of Chinese women, at that time, both longed for the same kind of man to appear in their destiny—that is, a man who could take them out of mainland China.It doesn't matter if he is from Hong Kong or Taiwan, it doesn't matter which country he is from, it doesn't matter if he is old or young, it doesn't matter whether he is a wife, a lover, a daughter, a secretary or an employee. , including the identity of a maid—in short, she doesn't care about her identity, as long as she can be taken out, she will get her wish. As a result, all kinds of foreign men became the nobles who "extended" them. Some women even have no country, no home, no husband, no gift, no job, and no property. Except for the depreciated appearance capital and depreciated youth stocks, they actually get almost nothing.It proves that their transaction back then was not a success in itself. Women achieve the purpose of changing their fate and living another life through the ancient way of marrying a certain type of man. Although it is more in line with the characteristics of women's human nature, although it does not need to be harshly criticized, it is not worthy of special affirmation. Because that way conforms to the too ancient characteristics of women's humanity.No matter how "modern" it is packaged, it is still ancient.The stronger it is in women's consciousness, the less modern it is for women to live in modern times. Those with knowledge go for it based on their academic qualifications, those with talent go for it based on their ability, and those with skills go for it based on their skills; those without knowledge, talent, skills, and fecundity rely on their appearance and youth capital to go for a job; The two items of youth and youth are not enough capital, relying on the blind courage of going forward. As a general rule, men have to admit that women are the first teachers who shape what a man becomes. So, who are the mentors who influence who women become? is the times. Middle-aged and elderly women in the 1990s look at the "new generation" women who are much younger than themselves, envious, admiring, alienated, and indifferent. Lin Yutang once explained why he likes talking to women the most—"They can see all contradictions, superficiality, and vanity. I trust their intuition and survival instinct—their so-called 'sixth sense'. In their important Beneath the surface of emotion and reason, they can grasp reality and get closer to life than men, and I respect that. They understand life, while men only understand theory." The reason why I quote Lin Yutang’s passage is because there are several points of affirmation of women in it, and it is quite accurate to comment on some women in the 1990s, especially the "new generation" women. They also have another way of making them seem cute--that is to lead men to enjoy themselves in time. A few years ago, in the eyes of many of them, "sugar daddy" was the easiest shortcut to the ideal life.And knowing how a woman is loved by powerful or rich men for a long time is considered to understand life.But then they arrived, and that was just the life of a woman like Yang Guiji.Compared with Wu Zetian, Yang Guibai is just a pitiful woman.They would rather ask for less favors and more benefits from men.Especially, when their relationship with men has no hope of becoming husband and wife, every tenderness they give to men requires men to repay them twice as much. Like all women of all times, they have emotional needs, but don't care much about loss.Longing for the comfort of love, but also quite good at playing with the loneliness without love.They are lonely sometimes but definitely not depressed.They cry sometimes but mostly out of frustration and rarely out of guilt.They often devote more time and energy to socializing than to falling in love.In their place, the two are often weighed in this way-communication produces friendship, and extensive friendship between men and women is more conducive to the success of one's career than exclusive love.Therefore, men are often confused about whether the relationship between him and her is love or friendship. On the face of it, the more they become extremely trusting in means and pursuing goals rather than emotion, the more exaggerated they are in some trivial and trivial details. All of their above behaviors can be said to be involuntary.Because the trustworthiness between people has largely been lost from the life of the Chinese in the 1990s.Although there are more industries than ever before, the space for everyone to prove their value seems to be getting smaller and more congested.The competition in many aspects of society is so fierce, sometimes even so cold and ruthless, that women have to use the highest life skills to do what they want to do. The "new generation" women in China in the 1990s seem to have an unprecedentedly simple mind on the surface, but in fact they are unprecedentedly shrewd and unprecedentedly scheming. In China in the 1990s, it was rare for a woman without a family power background to conquer the world with her bare hands and achieve some kind of success without being injured. Once a woman matures into a woman, celibacy must actually be unnatural and not beautiful. The only way celibacy can be called a sensible choice is when compared to a formally bad marriage. Some female college students since the 1990s first worship wealth; second worship power; third worship stars; fourth worship women’s sexual charm; There are many others that can be listed, depending on the individual.But the first four undoubtedly contain their most important worship content, but the order is not the same. The topic of prostitution in the 1990s shows the great embarrassment of this era.This is the clinical feature of the "China Syndrome". Of course, many countries have prostitutes.The existence of prostitutes does not seem to affect the prosperity of those countries. However, many countries all agree that the phenomenon of prostitutes is the scar of society. China once did not.In the 1980s, toughness began to exist.By the 1990s, there were more. All my impressions of prostitutes in the 1990s are actually obtained from the mouths of men of all kinds, from all walks of life, from all walks of life, whom I have just met or are familiar with. What initially surprised me about this impression was that they only existed in certain cities, in certain regions. What is especially surprising is that it has also spread in some remote counties and towns. After being surprised a few times, I am no longer surprised. Later, I was surprised at how cheap they bargained.It is said that they also accept "jobs" worth ten or twenty yuan. Later, I was amazed at how young they were.It is said that in some cities and some areas, people start to go astray in prostitution before they are eighteen years old. After that, there was only one kind of surprise left.That is—their prostitution is not as reluctant as I imagined, so much forced and helpless, so so much inner misery. It was said that many of them seemed to live happily ever after.Because prostitution is the "easiest" "occupation".Because of this "occupation", their income is several times or even dozens of times higher than the monthly salary of ordinary female workers.Due to the "piece-rate" nature of this "profession" and the nature of cash transactions, there will never be any such thing as "salary" or "IOUs".It is also because the traditional way of this "profession" is inseparable from eating, drinking, drinking and having fun. I have always been convinced that any young woman or girl, when she strips naked for the first time to prostitute herself to a man, whether he is acquainted with her or a stranger, must feel ashamed in her heart.At least somewhat ashamed.Because the occurrence of gender relations determined on the premise of money, on the part of women, is fundamentally contrary to their natural instinct to protect their bodies in front of strange men. But as the number of prostitution increases, this instinct will eventually be swept away from their hearts without a trace.In the future, when she stripped herself naked in front of any strange man, it would be as indifferent as if she were in the undressing room of a public bath. For the client, it was clear that he was in a hurry and finally found the toilet. For prostitutes, it is roughly equivalent to receiving a physical examination by a male gynecologist. The phenomenon of prostitution in China is probably the truth.