Chapter 4 Chapter 2.2

Language is the most basic way for all human activities to continue. Zen is by no means perfect, let alone invulnerable. The enlightenment of Zen to modern people is precisely that - if human beings are obsessed with pursuing a kind of perfection and seeking the so-called thorough "transcendence", they will go to fallacies. The development of all things in the world is almost inevitably subjected to the test of going to the opposite side.Going to the opposite is almost an inevitable law of the rise and fall of everything in the world.Just like a fruit on a fruit tree, the process from greenness to maturity is the process of "prosperity"; the process from ripeness to falling is the process of "decline".No one can do anything to keep a ripe fruit from rotting.People who harbor such illusions will go to the opposite side of the fruit just like the ripe fruit.The smart way is to cut open the fruit, pick out the seeds, and cultivate fruit trees.Reform is the only way to prevent everything from going the other way.And everything is always going to the opposite without stopping.All things contain hidden internal causes that make themselves go to the opposite.One or several internal factors in all things have a tendency to continue to move towards the opposite after adapting to the reform and the reversal and changes in the structure of internal conditions.Because everything in the world is alive.Because the meaning of "Life" Eryu can be understood as going to the opposite.Therefore, reform can only be an uninterrupted "action".It goes from "prosperity" to "decline".Accompanied by "decline" to "prosperity".Rise and fall, decline and decline, rise and fall, the law of nature also.

Human life should be a process from pragmatism to "emptiness".Everyone has the obligation to make a greater or lesser contribution to this society.The reason is so simple, because this society, every moment, fulfills obligations to everyone in many ways.Young and middle-aged people are the best time to do their duty to the society.In old age, the closer a person's life is to the end, the more fully his life should belong to himself, and the original nature and dignity of life should be restored.Shouldn't a society that conforms to the laws of nature be like this?Those that should be "empty" are not willing to be "empty", and those that should be "empty" are not willing to be "empty".The generation that shouldn't be "virtual" has become very "virtual".The generation that should not be "empty" seems to be very "empty".

I admire the open-minded and optimistic life style advocated by the ancestors of Zen. Because it is beneficial to each of us at least - to help us untie the knots in our hearts, eliminate all kinds of barriers in our chests, and through self-improvement, purify our souls of all pollution, bondage, Impetuousness, turmoil, dark thoughts and inflated desires allow us to find our true, natural and bright self. After all, life is only once for people.When it is flourishing, it is more in line with the nature of life to do its best to shine and generate heat.If life is a flower, it should open naturally and emit a ray of fragrance in the world; if life is a grass, it should grow naturally, not just a grass that humbles itself; Cool; if life is like a butterfly, why not dance lightly? ...

Nowadays, more and more people talk about Zen in secret, because it has become a fashion.I have nothing to do with Shan, Taoism or Confucianism, and I am not ashamed to be an ordinary person forever.Ordinary people should look like ordinary people.There is no need to play the game, but there should be a consonance-that is the understanding of people and the sincere respect for the world.This kind of sincerity can indeed exist anytime and anywhere in life, and it is a kind of "vitamin" in people's hearts.Sometimes I am puzzled. The more civilized the society is, the more delicate people's feelings for sincerity should be. Why is it becoming more and more insensitive instead?Then a general great numbness sometimes assumes a startling state.Some people may think that kind of sincerity is trivial.

But if there is no "trivial" sincerity in trivial life, wouldn't there be only trivial things like dross left?It is true that a few books cannot really make someone's life less trivial. Thinking like this is not only self-important, but also self-deception... Yu Cheng needed a little patience in exchange for it.This should be the case for me, readers and everyone in life, right?Today - the most common opportunity for almost everyone.Because everyone has many, many today. I believe in a principle of life: if it is possible for you to help others, even the slightest help, and you do not practice it, it is not right.

The years spent close to the land and the people, even though they were difficult and heavy, are worth re-recognizing.Thoughts that penetrate history must be based on reality. Yes, the pioneering spirit is a noble human impulse.Going through hardships is always an epic deed.However, the 400,000 people, which lasted for a long time in the middle age, the youth, sweat, blood and even life we ​​gave are not directly proportional to the achievements we should create.Therefore, if what is settled down is only the self-appreciation of personal experiences that have changed over time, ignoring our own self-examination and the responsibility and obligation to criticize history, we will appear superficial...

We have been like the stones rolled by the giant Sisyphus in Greek mythology. We have done many useless efforts like Sisyphus rolled stones. Rodin once sculpted the immortal "Thinker"... The "thinker" of the stone is only a thought-like stone, if not immortal. All kinds of happy people in the folk have their own misfortunes in various ways.All kinds of smug people live in all kinds of shadows of life.So many desires of so many people, so many goals, goals, ambitions, and ambitions, because of so many people and things, have become so many heart diseases that others can see through at a glance or that others can't imagine in a lifetime...

Everyone has a share of happiness.The difference is only in size and how much. Everyone yearns for the so-called happiness, but everyone feels that it is getting farther and farther away from themselves, just as the boundary of the "universe" is getting farther and farther away from us... And happiness is also a feeling that is constantly disappearing.Adults will never be as happy as children again.People in their sixties and seventies will never be as happy as people in their 20s and 30s.Married men and women are never as happy as when they were in love... Reduce the so-called "happiness" of life to the feeling of happiness, reduce the feeling of happiness to the experience of pleasure, make the most common and simple understanding of the quality of life, and settle for the next best thing—perhaps, when we are old When you think about it carefully, you can say to yourself: My whole life is okay...

The onlookers, I think, are more hateful than the rascals.Because of their onlookers, atrocities and evil seem to be turned into a game, a lively scene, a fun phenomenon, and something worthy of "white appearance".They watched without uttering angry cries of restraint, especially the angry cries of men, which were actually tantamount to silent encouragement of the atrocities of the gangsters. If this kind of insensitivity and pathological psychological phenomenon spreads and permeates a large area, and infects the hearts of us Chinese people in a large area, what will be the result?Those who are insensitive will become even more insensitive, and will no longer be ashamed of helping others and abusing others.And more people will become insensitive, and then will not realize the insensitivity of their hearts.The rogues will be even more rampant. Fortunately, this world should be the world where they run amok...

When literature loses its "sensational effect", it might as well joke that novelists "fall out of favor".Novelists "fall out of favor" in two ways-on Mount Olympus, the number of "art attendants" surrounded by the woman named Muse has greatly increased, and novelists are not alone in favor; At the foot of the mountain, most of the "Gods" of the novelist's Chinese descent are not in the mood to follow the novelist to climb the "mountain", and even hurriedly said that they climbed to the "top".What's more, contemporary Chinese novelists themselves are still staggering on the mountainside.

Literature in the new era has indeed been "sensational" year by year, which is not only a literary phenomenon, but also a political phenomenon.Or, to take a neutral term is more a phenomenon of the times. The loss of the "sensational effect" is actually a process of weakening, changing, and transforming the general political sentiment of the people.Simultaneously with the "New Era Literature", there was a "cultural craze", but now "the culture does not know where to go. This place remains empty as a cultural city".Literature is exposed in the commodity era that is just around the corner, like a girl losing her virginity to a fierce man.The plight of literature does not arouse the pity of the general population.Generally, the first thing people pity is themselves in such an era that lacks ideological and spiritual preparation. The burden of this era is too heavy, and the psychological burden of people in this era is also too heavy—the hatred of the remnants of feudalism, the fear of barbaric capitalist phenomena, the longing for civilization and the advanced capitalist model, Bewilderment of various modern trends of thought, unsteady adherence to socialist ideas and moral norms that have been squeezed into ideology, and perplexity and loss of abandonment... Oh my god, comfort and comfort include us The novels are too powerless for the impetuous souls of people, including intellectuals! "Modernism" is not only the form or the method, but also the content is the concept, which is the perspective result of the general social mentality caused by the alienation of modern civilization.Once the middle class in the West, favored by material civilization and cultural upbringing, becomes the majority of the social class, the grievances and pains bred in their hearts are no less than the sorrows of the poor who suffered from hunger and cold in the last century and whimper.The pain after being rich may be more profound because it is still suffering after being rich.However, no matter how profound it is, it is difficult to impress ordinary Chinese people who are still suffering from poverty.In the minds of our compatriots, Westerners must be too delicate.Is the self-pity and self-blame of the western middle class ignoring the confusion of human beings about themselves tomorrow?Maybe.But this is a century away from us tomorrow. "Modernist" novels have made rising efforts, but today, our entire literary world is like a raft floating in the turbulent waves of the times, "modernism", like realism, is facing the maze of "Alibaba's cave" .And no one told us the mysterious mantra - "Open Sesame Sesame".In all fairness, even though "modernism" did not achieve its original intention, it undoubtedly smashed the shell of realism that was once quite hard, but it was really dogmatic, and made it "leave out the old and bring in the new" and glow with a lot of vitality. .Color contrasts from the literary palette are also painted at the same time.But it is the mission to support a round of literary sunset.It is beyond the capabilities of "modernism"... Comments with too much advertising color and exaggerated comments, even if they are beautifully written and unrestrained, will not only tarnish the reputation of the commentary, but also tarnish the reputation of the novel.Novelists and novel critics are also social consumers. Please think about it. We misbelieve advertisements, buy products, and find that they are not as advertised. Wouldn’t it be a kind of rebellious psychology to be fooled?Have some of our novel reviews and some of our novels been corrupted?The relationship between novelists and novel critics should be "communication in the middle and straightness in the outside", without any pretense.Don't hate your skills because you hate people.Don't be good at people but good at skills.When you write, you should be selfless, and when you write, you should be upright. Olympus has "Twilight".Olympus has no night.Human beings understand many things, but they never give up.Such is the case with the Bible.The same is true of novels.The novel is the ever-burning lamp on Mount Olympus, sometimes it shines brilliantly, and sometimes it shines faintly. However, the world is immortal, and this lamp will not be extinguished. The changes of the times have a huge psychological impact on contemporary people.We seem to step through several doors in one step, and rush into a room that we are not used to at all.This makes us—contemporaries feel that everything is different from the past.We were unprepared.We are confused, we are bewildered.We always want to believe in something.But we can't help but take a dubious attitude towards all changes.So our hearts are unprecedentedly impetuous.Even in the moments when we seem eerily calm.Our hearts are actually impetuous. This is an impetuous era. Yang (the Japanese side) didn't say a word, and didn't even look around, just fixed a part of the table.Eat in silence.A mouth full of missing teeth, eating very slowly.His razor-sharp face.Can't get any thinner.The cheeks are sunken, the cheekbones are protruding, and the eyes are deeply hidden in the eye sockets.The complexion is green.Every time you chew, the green and wrinkled skin tightens and relaxes.What impresses me the most is his eyebrows. There are two long bundles on the left and right eyebrows, flying unrestrainedly, with arrows standing upright.It seems that there is no other way to make it smooth except for cutting. As soon as I remember him, I am full of fear for the past history - it turns good people into "sinners" for no reason, so casually!So easy!And together with the innocent consciousness of innocent people, they are all raped together! "Manuscripts" are precisely the deformed children born of cultural despotism.It often announces its rebellion and challenge to cultural despotism during its gestation period!The more tyrannical cultural despotism is, the more "manuscripts" will be produced in large numbers and spread widely!Naturally, dross is inevitable, but there are often fragrant flowers, and even hidden exotic flowers and buds. In a class society, each class has a different humanity, but the humanity of any class is produced and evolved on the soil of universal humanity formed by human beings for thousands of years.Therefore, in the human nature of all classes, there is a kind of "common humanity" root.Under a specific social situation and a specific historical period, the root of this "common humanity" may be wiped out, or it may get rid of the fetters and constraints of class nature, and be fully developed freely, making a kind of "common humanity" beyond the concept of class Human nature becomes the link between human beings in a certain historical period.The result is nothing more than two possibilities: either complete the "return" of "human beings", or be broken by the re-intensified class contradictions. Talking to people is a human instinct.The instinctive desire is "closed" by the outside world or by the self, and people will turn to talk to their own hearts.Talking to your own soul is a special skill.This ability may enable a person to maintain his spiritual balance in any adversity, and it may also cause a person to lose the last part of his enthusiasm for life.It depends on what one often talks to one's soul.Does man still have a choice when talking to his own soul?Is this still human?I think that a really wise person should know what to talk to his heart under what circumstances.Shouldn't one have a sense of responsibility to another when one engages in a serious conversation with another?Shouldn't man also have a sense of responsibility for himself when he has a serious conversation with his own soul?Young people who aspire to become writers must first establish a sense of social responsibility for literature.Whether there is such a sense of responsibility to society is the fundamental difference between a writer and ordinary people who can write.Whether or not this sense of responsibility is established is a watershed for a literary youth to become a writer in the future or become a person who can write in general. Human beings created literature to make life better.Literature should provide people with noble and beautiful spiritual food that cultivates sentiment and purifies the soul. In any case, literature should not be a "monkey wine" that erodes people's will and belief in life or tempts others to drink together. As for the so-called "handed down work"?I think most of my works will not be handed down to the world.Survive and perish with fate, wish is enough.Moreover, one must endure loneliness during one's life, and after one's death, ghosts will compete for strengths and weaknesses.Like Wang Bo, when he drowns, ghosts will appear from time to time, chanting his own famous line: "The sunset and the lone bird fly together, and the autumn water is the same color as the sky."Even if it is a famous sentence through the ages, it was not pointed out by the old fisherman later. If it is not concise, it would be better to change it to "Sunset clouds and solitary ducks fly together, and the autumn water is long and the sky is the same color"?It shows that the famous sentences through the ages can't stand the "scrutiny" through the ages. Literary youths don't have to be ashamed to write with the starting point of "there was a mountain once upon a time, and there was an old Taoist on the mountain...".It should be noted that many writers start out in this way.It should be noted that the first one to talk about "that mountain" and "that old way" may have been regarded as a masterpiece!It is only the repetition of later generations that makes him a "cliché".You can tell in other people's tone, but you should not tell what others have told.As long as you talk about "that mountain" and "that old way", people will say after listening to it: "So there is such a mountain, and there is such an old way. After listening to it thousands of times, what I heard today is the same as what I heard in the past." It’s not the same!” Then you’ve taken a welcome first step. When literature is prosperous, there are too many men and women who write novels; when literature is not prosperous, male and female writers are filtered out... This is the law of literature. Changes in general social perceptions lead to changes in general appreciation.The change of general appreciation concepts has impacted and shaken the foundation of some writers' traditional creation concepts, prompting them to accept and explore new literary concepts.New literary creation under the guidance of new literary concepts will undoubtedly further guide people's newer appreciation trends, and influence and act on people's appreciation psychology.Literary theory at this literary stage can only be guided by the situation, and cannot be unified or unified by force.Otherwise, theory would stand aloof from this active literary phase.Difficulty in unifying theories does not imply confusion in literary concepts.On the contrary, it marks the diversity of creative practice and the openness of theoretical scope. The change of appreciation concept and creation concept are two aspects of literary phenomenon.Appreciation itself is also an art.The process of reading a literary work is also a process of experiencing continuous psychological changes.Readers not only test but also enhance the artistic power of the work through their own feelings.We can therefore say that writers not only create literature, but also "create" readers. The mission of real literature or art is even more difficult. From now to the future, what it wants to conquer is the natural attributes of people's psychology that may be further strengthened by society and tend to be more and more pastime.It wants to excavate people's psychological desire to appreciate that may be covered by the natural attributes of this kind of entertainment. Only in a higher meaning is it more literature and art, and it has a literary or artistic meaning that is different from entertainment. Appreciate the value... Past and present, like night and day, blend at the edges.And when the reality feels extraordinarily vivid, many memories become correspondingly clearer. In the final analysis, all memories of all people are memories of people.No memory is equal to no memory.Without memory, it is equivalent to a low-level animal.Memories are sometimes valuable because of forgetting.Of all disgraces, forgetting is also a kind.And no matter how it is analyzed and explained, it is a shameful philistine style. Looking back on the past is to judge the present and think about the future.If forgetting is a philosophy, remembering is a duty.Everything that is remembered should be introspective at the same time. When we face reality - who can you say how much stupider than whom?It is extremely easy for life to change us.Perhaps, each of us, sooner or later, will always be changed by life into what it is willing to agree with?If there are many contradictions in an era, and even the people are in dire straits, a part of literature will inevitably assume social responsibility.It's like a mouse leading its offspring for a walk on the road in broad daylight. When a domestic cat squatting on the windowsill finds out, it will inevitably rush to the street with a sense of responsibility or mission. If in an era, contradictions can be resolved on a large scale, the country is peaceful and the people are peaceful, and the common people are satisfied and happy, the sense of social responsibility of literature will begin to recede like the hand of a working woman married to a wealthy family.For example, nowadays people keep cats just for pets.Didn't care if they caught mice or not. In an era of too many rats, a cat that catches rats is a good cat. In an era when there were not many rats, a good cat was a cat that could not catch rats, but now is an era that is most unnecessary and serious about literature. A girl who thought she was very good when she was in her twenties, and still thinks she is very good when she is thirty-five or sixteen years old, is really a good girl.In the eyes of young people in their twenties, a girl is a girl.In the eyes of men in their mid-thirties and older, a girl is a woman.This is fatal.But so are men.Therefore, only young people or young people can really see the beauty of a "girl".At the age of a "man", he thinks a girl is beautiful, but he really thinks a "woman" is beautiful.The conceptual difference between them is like the difference between watching a drama and watching a movie. When a woman reaches the point of a philosopher, she is no longer a woman, but a monster.Even if it is as beautiful as a flower, it is still a flower-like monster.Really cynical, that is a realm.Pretentious cynicism is a kind of sickness. They value friendship as much as beekeepers value honey. By grandstanding, you make your correct point of view an isolated point of view.In character, temperament, manners, and everything else, it is the unpretentious that is respected. A disheartened person can often tell the truth. Politics manipulates people like cats manipulate mice. How many people will be soberly pretending to be confused?Thinking of women is really a pain that men are willing to suffer! Love added to sympathy makes a man's love for a woman pity. The beauty of women is different, some make men think of sex, some make men think of gallows, some make men think of poetry, some make men think of painting, and some make men think of repentance... Cowards only hope that others will draw their dueling swords for the truth, while they themselves carry the small banner of victory behind their backs, and dare not even utter a cry to help the battle.And when evil falls, they raise little banners and share in the glory of the brave.If a warrior falls, they will quietly throw away their small flags, retreat to some safe corner, stick to the humble silence, and wait for another warrior to come forward... Menopause is the age when women don't know what to do with themselves. Women are born to be women's opponents. I really hope that a person who is respected by young people and has high morals can generously say to many young people: "You are a good young man..." Even if this young man is not very good, like me.But that sentence has a kind of restraint that makes a not-so-good young man work hard towards the good, and not develop at will in the bad way. I am not good at communication, it is really unwilling to communicate.My reluctance to socialize is actually a "passive resistance" to a kind of communication in the current society. Sometimes it is not enough to be gentle, courteous and thrifty blindly.Things that should get angry, still have to get angry. Of all the animals, the one I can't get enough of is the rhino.Because it never cares about what others think of it, and never puts on airs. I think thinking is a serious moment for anyone, a sacred moment, and should be respected.And interfering with other people's thinking, no matter in what way, for what motive, whether it is good or well-intentioned, it is disgusting. Lies are a vicious fission phenomenon of language. No one in the world dares to claim that he has never told a lie. One more sincerity, one more friend.One less sincerity, one less friend.A man who has no friends is truly destitute.Whoever wants to find a friend who has no flaws at all can't even become his friend.A man who has many virtues but is not upright cannot be called a friend.A person has many faults, but integrity, such a person should be associated with. Every generation has a generation of worship.This is history.History has its own laws. It does not depend on human will.When my son grows up in the future, he will of course know what kind of historical figure Mao Zedong was.But whether they will worship Chairman Mao or not is hard to say. Without spiritual freedom and freedom of thought, the so-called social civilization is nothing but words written on a dusty table, which are wiped off with a rag when the table is wiped. When we grow up, we feel lost.We only feel angry when we are lost.When we are angry, we are disappointed.When we feel disappointed, we wake up.When we are awakened, we think we have the right to condemn! If reverence is not voluntary, it is bound to backfire. Tradition is an invisible force.People generally feel at ease when doing things according to "tradition".But certain "traditions" are also often a decadent force.It is with the help of this power that the imperial decree of the feudal emperor evolved into the "supreme instruction"... Time does not equal money. "Time is money" is tantamount to saying "money is everything". The beauty of some girls is just "futures" and "stocks" in their own eyes.The sad thing is that you can't deposit it in any bank and eat some "interest".Time is merciless, and time always devalues ​​beauty.Not taking advantage of the bullish market to exchange for something is the biggest waste, and those who have the time, energy and interest to "purchase" among them are none other than the dudes.Therefore, there can only be one destination for them, which becomes their spouse.This word is more accurate than wife, lover or wife. "Since ancient times, beauties have had a lot of bad lives", which is true.Poor is less than can not afford.If you can afford it, you can also afford it. The "beautiful women" have a hard life! The contender's victory has always been the final choice of the contended.For contenders cannot win without being contested. After seeing a lot, the evaluation of beauty is a bit harsh. A smile is not an expression, but a weapon, and the scary meaning of a woman is far greater than the cute meaning. Some women are one-dimensional equations, and you can solve the "roots" without having to formulate them. A woman's temper is always directly proportional to a man's love for them. Xiao Hong looked so reserved, showing a bit of arrogance in her reservedness.The smile that is a weapon to a man turns into a shield in front of his wife, hiding what only women can sensitively see. We not only rely on economic development, but also rely on maintaining national self-esteem to be independent from the forest of all nationalities in the world. In the last century, many Westerners went to China to take risks, and now the century of some Chinese girls going to the West seems to have begun. The adventurous spirit of the commodified woman is nothing more than an "inflation" phenomenon. As a woman who regards herself as a weapon to conquer the world, she will never reach the apex of "brilliance" like "Nana". Fortunately, at the last moment of my father's life, I was prompted by telepathy to lie beside him.Holding father's hand is equivalent to escorting father to the door of another world.Not many fathers, at the last moment of their lives, can have a son who hugs his body tightly, and the son passes away peacefully while holding his hand lightly.God has given me the opportunity to be filial, and I often take comfort in talking about it. But the human heart is really a weird thing. On special days, I always miss some people who have a family relationship with me.And more generally, our kindness and thoughts are probably caused by those people who not only have a deep family relationship with us, but also have fallen into an extremely unbearable situation.Missing at this time is really full of concerns and longings. Generally speaking, I don’t think much about some well-developed, dignified, and prosperous people.Because we know that, on the one hand, they don’t care whether others miss them or not, on the other hand, even on some not special days, some people who don’t really miss them, out of some understandable consciousness, often Send them your dearest thoughts in the trendiest way possible.People who are well-developed, noble, and proud of life are almost always fed by what seems to be long-lasting emotions and deep thoughts.It is conceivable that this kind of longing often makes them feel bored.It's like a child who gets hurt from eating chocolate, and can't help frowning when he sees chocolate again. Being the boss is a dream of his.He has been hallucinating in this dream for twelve or three years.For twelve or three years, I tried to drag him out of his dream more than once, but my efforts were all in vain.My opponent is too strong.Of course, the opponent does not refer to him, but the times. This era is proclaiming to the society through various media every day that some people have transformed themselves and miraculously become multi-millionaires and billionaires.There are too many examples like this, tempting him, and he can't listen to my earnest persuasion at all.He vowed to me again and again to describe his ambition, and expressed his kindness to me solemnly and realistically again and again, not to make me open the door of the house again and again when he was penniless. To accept him, he gave me a blank check again and again.He knew that my home would never reject him as an uninvited guest. His clichés, in my opinion, were just sticking to an initial belief and self-confidence.His self-confidence has become his property.personal property.spiritual property.Appreciation, value preservation or depreciation are all regulated by himself, and he can keep it in value by talking about it again and again, at least not depreciate it. No matter how experienced, no matter how high the level of writing is, no matter how beautiful the handwriting is, if he competes for the same job with those girls who are proficient in using computers and understanding the boss's wishes, the one who will be eliminated in nine out of ten will undoubtedly be him.Men are not as good as women, old people are not as good as young people, beautiful handwriting is not as good as a pretty face, and professional experience is not as good as being a well-behaved person. Generally speaking, I have been tempered by the difficult years since my youth to have a strong psychological endurance.Not a weak-willed wretch.Punitive fate throws, not so easy to conquer my character. Granted, being a writer is nothing special.There are many writers, and everyone is exhausted, but if I were not a writer, my current fate would definitely not be a matter of exhaustion or not.Among the large number of laid-off workers in the Republic, there is almost no doubt that there will be one named Liang Xiaosheng... In the true love in the world of the extraordinary era, the kind of heart that does not smell of money at all, the kind that does not have the color of interest relationship at all, the kind of mutual friendship that is purely man-to-man, the kind that is just being "loved" "Literature" Eryu's tightly woven mutual trust promises - can the true human relationship between men formed by all these beautiful factors in those years be forgotten?No, if I forget it, I will be corrupted!One day I was changing his sheets and found one of his diaries under the pillow.Opening it with curiosity, what I remember are all their heart-changing whispers.Moreover, it is all the whispers confided to the hours in the form of a diary, lingering, sad and euphemistic, intimate, and flooding.So I glimpsed a kind of begging and panic that suddenly plucked my heartstrings violently.A man like him who is extremely lonely and conceited in heart, begs for the tenderness of a woman who is the same age as his daughter, and the panic of losing the tenderness she gave him.This shocked me greatly.From then on, I am convinced that the essence of all men's hearts is actually how delicate and fragile.From then on, he also understood how important the young man was to the lost and exhausted Lao Sui!How vulgar and insignificant was my vengeful friendship for him, compared with the affection she gave him!It turns out that once a man's heart falls into confusion and depression about his own life prospects, only a woman's tenderness is the cure! ... For the first time, I heard people face-to-face with simple and correct mathematical methods, which inspired me to have a more practical attitude towards life.At that time, the sunlight on the ancient market across the street had begun to dim, and the day was passing by unnoticed.I couldn't help but turned my face and glanced at the watch on the table, as if I heard a clicking sound that could make my heart beat and nervous, but in fact the watch didn't make any strings.The watch is held by a kneeling, nude bronze girl in a beautiful posture. "She" is one of my favorites. I used to write at my desk.Often used to admiring "her" meditation; listening to Lao Sui's words.I seem to think that "she" is transformed from a witch, and it is the thing with pointers that is held in both hands. ——I inhale my life every day without knowing it for a second... My life style has become more and more like this - I use letters and phone calls to deal with the things I am facing now, and use my heart and memories to maintain the past love.It is said that emotion is more important than things, but in fact we are almost busy with all kinds of things we face every day. My doubts about Lao Sui and his school have always been hidden in my heart.It has never been reduced, let alone eliminated.On the contrary, it often flashed to me some kind of premonition of danger.But I can't tell anyone about my doubts.If at the beginning when he finally broke free from his downfall and single-handedly started his career with full of hope, but I talked to people about my doubts about him and his career, I always feel that my character is almost despicable up.What's more, I can't support the doubts in my heart with any conclusive evidence. It's just instinctive doubts. Facilitate defeat.I can't tell the truth from the fake.也只能心中掩藏住疑惑，祈祝老隋的事业一帆风顺罢了。 但那疑惑既存在着，又不便对任何人说，常使我感到乎添了一份苦闷，仿佛内心里钻了一条毛毛虫…… 世事改变了许多人。有时改变的是他们的命运。有时改变的是他们自身的质量。命运乖张，面自身超越不劣的有几个？时来运转，福星高照，而自身质量不随之腐败的又有几个？都道是，完善自身质量才会感受到活着的真谤，命运庸常也是幸福的。眼见的却是，许多人都在雾诡云谲的世事中东扑西抱，企图扑抱住什么命运的奇迹，直至将人生交付给了黄粱一梦而难以自拔！ 其实，依我想来，我们每一个人，都有若干机会，或曰若干时期，证明自己是一个心灵方面、人格方面的导师和教育家。区别在于，好的，不好的，甚而坏的，邪恶的。 我们在我们是少年的时候，就已经开始怀疑甚至强烈排斥大人们对我们的教育了。处在那么一种年龄的我们，已经开始习惯于说：“不，我认为……”了。我们正是从开始第一次这么说，这么想那一天起，自觉不自觉地进入了导师和教育家的角色。于是我们收下了我们“教育生涯”的第一个学生——我们自己。于是我们“师道尊严”起来，朝“绝对服从”这一方面培养我们的本能。于是我们更加防范别人，有时几乎是一切人，包括我们所敬爱的人们对我们的影响。如同一位导师不能容忍另一位导师对自己最心爱的弟子耳提面命一样…… 童年的我曾是一个口吃得非常厉害的孩子，往往一句话说不出来，“啊啊呀呀”半天，憋红了脸还是说不出来。我常想我长大了可不能这样。父母为我犯愁却不知怎么办才好。我决定自己“拯救”我自己。这是一个漫长的“计划”，基本实现这一“计划”，我用了三十余年的时间。 少年时的我曾是一个爱撒谎的孩子，总企图靠谎话推掉我对某件错事的责任。青年时期的我曾受过种种虚荣的不可抗拒的诱惑，而且嫉妒之心十分强烈。我常常竭力将虚荣心和嫉妒心成功地掩饰起来。每每的，也确实掩饰得很成功。但这成功却是拿虚伪换来的。 幸亏上帝在我的天性中赋予了一种细敏的羞耻感，靠了这一种羞耻感我才能够常常嫌恶自己。而我自己对自己的劣点的嫌恶，则从心灵的人格的方面“拯救”了我自己。否则，我无法想象——一个少年时爱撒谎，青年时虚荣，嫉妒且虚伪的人，四十多岁的时候会成为一个怎样的男人？所以，我对“自己教育自己”这句话深有领悟。它是我的人生信条之一。最主要的也是最重要的，首位的人生信条。 我想，“自己教育自己”，体现着人对自己的最大爱心，对自己的最高责任感。在这一点上，我们不能指望别人对我们比我们自己对自己更有义务。一个连这一种义务都丧失了的人，那么，便首先是一个连自己都不爱的人了。一个连自己都不爱的人，那么，他或她对异性的爱，其质量都肯定是低劣的。 有人肯定会认为像我这样活着太累，其实我的体会恰恰相反。内心里多一份真善美，我对自己的满意便增加一层，这带给我的便是愉悦。内心里多一份假丑恶，我对自己的不满意，沮丧、嫌恶乃至厌恶也便增加一层。人连对自己都不满意的时候还能满意谁满意什么？人连对自己都很厌恶的话又哪有什么美好的人生时光可言？翻开历史一分析，心脑功能张冠李戴这一永远的错误，首先是与人类的灵魂逻辑有关，也跟我们的祖先曾互相残食的记载有关。 一个部落的人俘虏了另一个部落的人，于是如同猎到了猎物一样，兴高采烈围着火雄舞蹈狂欢。累了，就开始吃了。为着吃时的便当，自然的先须将同类们杀死。心是人体惟一滞后于生命才“死”的东西。当一个原始人从自己同类的胸腔里扒出一颗血琳琳的心，它居然还在呼呼跳动时，我们的那一个野蛮的祖先不但觉得惊愕，同时也是有几分恐惧的。于是心被想象成了所谓“灵魂”在体内的“居室”。被认为是在心彻底停止跳动之际才逸去的。“心灵”这一个词，便是从那时朦胧产生，后经文字的确定，文化的丰富沿用至今的。