Chapter 3 Chapter 2.1

If no one is playing an equal game with you, why don't you develop the habit of playing with yourself? ——Meditating alone is a game that can definitely be "played" by one person.Don't laugh at yourself even if your thoughts are boring. Isn't it boring to play mahjong for half a night? It's boring to pretend to be leisurely and go to places with the most people to join in the fun... Cunning is an adventure. Modern zoologists have concluded through analysis that animals not only have habits, but also have species characters.Bison is a kind of animal with a very proud personality. Using words to describe people, it can be said that they are "just for their own use".To attack a dead thing is against its kind.People can often do things that are contrary to their character, but animals cannot.The species and character of animals determine their behavior patterns, or "behavior principles".Changing it requires at least a process of more than a hundred generations.Before their species and personalities have changed, they will not violate the "behavior principle" even if they die.And it is precisely their stilted nature that men cunningly exploit.Modern zoologists believe that the reason why wild animals never trample or touch dead bodies is also because of their "mental hygiene" habits.They have a terrible aversion to dead things.Seeing dead things as downright dirty.Lest the filth stain their hooves and horns.There are only two situations in which the power of the weapon is exerted-when competing for mates with the same kind during estrus, and when encountering lions.Its "returning carbine" can also be counted as a kind of cunning.But no matter how cunning it is, it would never have been expected that in order to murder it, a cunning person would rather pretend to be a "dead corpse" that it regards as filthy...

Cunning is often the scheming of the weak being forced out by the living environment.People are different.Man uses his cunning powers against his own kind, obviously after he has become stronger than all animals.When all animals can no longer seriously threaten the existence of human beings, some human beings will directly become the enemies of other human beings. Human cunning is all the more cunning when one part is against another, thousands against thousands.So scheming turned into a trick. Wisdom is a good way for human beings to overcome cunning and bad habits.Wisdom is a way of thinking that seeks to avoid taking risks.

A person who is too cunning is also an adventure in relationships.The price is that to be recognized as a cunning person is to be recognized as a mean person.Whoever is recognized as a mean person can spend almost a lifetime trying to reverse the general opinion of him or her.Moreover, I'm afraid that no one is willing to associate with him anymore.What a risk, what a price, for one man! A person who is too cunning cannot be a lovely and respectable person.For those who are in the same human environment, it will be doomed to be dangerous.It is bound to be harmful to the human environment in which he or she exists.Because cunning is an invisible weapon.Because of its invisibility, those who possess this weapon will always use it again and again in order to achieve one purpose or another, until they pay a heavy price for their cunning.But at that time, other people, the surrounding human environment, had been seriously hurt.

A person is too cunning, no matter how learned and educated he or she may be, there will inevitably be traces of the natives in him or her.That is, the behavior traces of our ancestors when they were uncivilized.Even when dealing with animals, modern humans generally do not adopt the ancient methods and methods that were cunning and adventurous of our ancestors.Cunning is really a degeneration of the character of the human species.Reduce human beings to a stage that is only slightly higher than the IQ of animals.For example, people on Gilbert Island hunt and kill octopuses by biting them. Who can say that they are not cunning enough to be animalistic?

People, let us not take the risk of cunning so that we ourselves will not bear the consequences of cunning and pay the price for excessive cunning.Try to be a less crafty person, and maybe feel that life is not so bad. Of course, if you can be a wise person, and always look at life, others, fame and fortune disputes, and interpersonal friction with the eyes of a wise person, it will be more worth learning... There are more and more aspects that modern people are troubled by, and there are more and more times when modern people need to relax.So tourism can develop.Tourism is a testament to the compassion of human beings for themselves.

As far as China is concerned, the number of so-called "famous brands" is increasing.Once the "famous brand" is established, the price will skyrocket.Another kind of "famous brand" is becoming less and less——under the premise of the same quality, cheap and high-quality famous brands. Therefore, for the sake of huge profits, the smoke and flames of trademark wars are far greater than the fierce competition between quality and quality.The day when the so-called "famous brand" is in excess is the time when the "famous brand" has become a storefront and a stock in the warehouse.When the "famous brand" has to be dealt with urgently, the price of the "famous brand" will drop a lot.

In an era full of greed, deceiving people is sometimes extremely simple, not being tempted or being deceived will not be fooled, but a higher rationality is needed... For a certain person, sometimes, just having money is enough. For a certain nation, in many cases, just having money is not enough. Money is nothing more than a thing to a country all the time - you can say it's important, you can say it's too important, you can say it's very, very important, but you can never, ever Can't really think that it's the only thing that matters. Looking across the ocean, many people in materially developed countries, including many of their rich people, do not all look peaceful and peaceful, nor do they all look like orangutans who have eaten enough, drunk enough, slept enough and are carefree. The term "end of the century mentality" was summed up by them, which is a clear proof.Compared with us, they are a part of human beings who got rich first on the earth.This part of humanity still seems to be haunted by something.Still seems to be in some sort of melancholy.It seems that there are all kinds of apprehensions in my heart...

What is it that still haunts them and makes them melancholy and bewildering?Why is it that we are envious of their era, but they think it is at the "end of the century"? That is the confusion about ourselves as human beings.The desertification and annihilation of something precious in our human mind is haunting us. That precious thing is the love of man for his own kind, the love of man for his fellow man.Human beings with shattered love can only be the most vicious and terrifying animals among all animals on this earth. It is impossible for us to expect those so-called rich people who have exploded in China to love our poor compatriots.This expectation is pedantic.The rich have no love.It's almost a rule.The appearance they made must have been mixed with too many other purposes.The first thing they want to keep is their money and wealth.For them to evolve in love and kindness, and to treat our fellow human beings in general in both ways, will be doomed to take much longer than we expect.Even can only count on their next generation.It is almost a rule that the previous generation is rich and unkind, and the next generation or the next generation will evolve into a rich man with a conscience.

On earth, people feel more important as a human being.Once you ascend to a height of more than 10,000 meters and into the clouds, everything on the ground will cease to exist before your eyes, and you will not help but realize how small you are, as small as a speck of dust in the universe.then.If you ever thought that you were a person in power, a person with a certain talent, a person who established a certain social status, and you were proud of yourself, then you would not only feel your own insignificance, but even your own vulgarity. . Contemporary people are increasingly divided into two types: one is looking for beauty all over the world, and the other is full of architectural prosperity all over the world.

The general psychology of human beings begins to seek and build beauty just after satisfying their yearning for prosperity. Visiting the Forbidden City makes people feel the majesty of the king.It is the brilliance of art that leaves an unforgettable impression on people visiting the Royal Palace in Paris.The history of China is the history of kingship.In the history of France, there has been an extremely brilliant century of the art of lifting the tripod. There is a French family, the parents are people of status, but the only son has become a "punter".Parents tried their best and tried...all methods, but they couldn't educate them.Finally, the parents said to their son one day: "Since you think it's so good to be a 'pengjiao', mom and dad will accompany you as a 'penggu'!" , also shaved a strange hairstyle.Follow his son wandering around, begging.Over time, the son finally couldn't bear it anymore and begged his parents: "Mom and Dad, don't be like this!" The parents asked: "Isn't it good to be a 'punk'? We are used to living like this, and we want to live like this with you!" The son said: "You have lost the self-esteem that a person should have, which makes me so sad!" The parents said: "We are only one child, why don't you think how sad we are for you?" Rong, you will lose everything. If you continue to be a 'punk', our family of three will always be a 'punk'!"

Over time, the son finally changed his mind. It can be called an example of the "black humor" of parents in the West! Because the Western interpersonal norms are polite, it does not lead to everyone losing friends.Because there is a distance, there are not many phenomena of "turning friends into enemies". It seems that while the human mind is relatively open, it should also be relatively closed.Most people strive hard to maintain their independence of mind.Everyone is like this, forming social morality and making friends, which not only maintains the independence of one's own mind, but also maintains the independence of others' minds.Everyone has a secret or secret deep in their hearts.There is an inevitable need to treasure some kind of privacy or secret in the depths of everyone's heart.Treasure and not show others, it shows a kind of self-respect.Treating each other with sincerity and not driving people straight also shows a kind of self-cultivation. Some people regard their own minds as "public places", and hope that others will regard their minds as "public places".From this, people with the third mentality are derived—on the one hand, they keep their own minds tightly sealed, and on the other hand, like thieves, they always try to sneak into other people's minds in order to find something.There is a saying in China—"One heart for another heart", which is reflected in ordinary interpersonal communication, but it is misinterpreted as exchanging one's privacy for others' privacy, and exchanging one's secrets for others' secrets.And there is another saying in China-"A flower does not have a hundred days of redness, and a person does not have a thousand days to be happy". ".How many Chinese people still keep something for themselves when they are dying, and they have never been trampled on? A history creates a culture.A culture creates a civilization.A civilization creates a nation.A nation makes a part of humanity.Some human beings are always looking for art, including literature, that can better express themselves and comfort themselves. If you are not careful, there will be one or two familiar people around you who will change into Shenzhen people. Family affection plus friendship, as far as I think, should be the most important connotation of the so-called hometown concept or hometown complex? A writer's creative passion is sometimes inspired and spurred by the atmosphere of literature... It is sad for a country, a nation, or even a city to have a history of culture without the accompanying dance of economic development.Economic growth alone without cultural support is equally deplorable, no matter for a country, a nation or even a city. The money of the "big money" cannot become culture by itself, which is their own tragedy. The meaning of "capable man" in the north means that there are many social connections, and the "capable man" can do things that others cannot do.People who are one grade lower than "capable people" are called "social buddies" in the north, and they are probably equivalent to "children" in the south. "Social buddies" are peripheral social relations of capable people, and they are interdependent with "capable people". "Capable people" sometimes rely on mobilizing their enthusiasm to accomplish things that others cannot do.They are very happy to help "capable people" work, and they will do whatever they want.The purpose is to show the value of social existence through the opportunity to help "capable people", weave a wider social network, and then leap to a higher level of society, from "social buddies" to "capable people", compared to "capable people". "A person with a higher grade is called "Master Neng" in the north.A "capable master" often leads many "capable people". They did not become famous by "accidentally", but became famous logically.So their popularity will not be easily wiped from the minds of the public. People have self-knowledge. Celebrities are especially expensive to be self-aware. But in our real life, some celebrities and so-called celebrities actually lack self-knowledge.Sometimes there is simply too little self-knowledge. All celebrities are like three-dimensional paintings, even five-dimensional paintings.What you see on the surface may not be the actual painting at all.The authenticity is hidden behind colours, lines and patterns on the surface.For the real book, you need to divert your gaze first and then stare at it again. You need to move the painting closer and then move it closer before you can see it.Behind the pleasing scenery on the surface, there may be other strange shapes that suddenly stand out. The reliable way for us to know a famous ordinary person or ordinary celebrity is to read the books in which they record their own growth experiences and express their thoughts, feelings and emotions about the world and life.Probably on this point, the saying "writing is like a person" still has some truth and basis.At this point, literati can use their novels to whitewash and package themselves.But articles such as prose, essays, and miscellaneous thoughts can be called the mirror of the literati's own soul.It’s like giving you an ax and a saw, and you can pretend to be a carpenter by posing as a carpenter with a certain lifelike posture, but once you pick up the plane, pick up the chisel, and you will be watched with research eyes to plan a plane and chisel several times. When you see a hole, whether you are a carpenter or not, and what level of carpenter you are, will be revealed. Chen Shuigui has no political ambitions.He didn't choose politics, politics chose him.The tragedy of that year was that once politics chose someone, their fate could not escape.For example, which cotton bollworm lays eggs on which cotton plant will suffer. We weep for others, more often, more often than not, only for the misfortune and death of people who have an effect on our emotions, not in relation to their own greatness and mediocrity. The reason why every personal emotion can be realized in our hearts is because it is irreplaceable.When I cried for Teacher Huai Ai, I was also crying about my emotional loss, or the phenomenon of a large-scale loss of emotion in life.This phenomenon has already turned me into a middle-aged man who looks at life and reality with a gloomy daylight.When the reality of life deprives me of what I value most, my tears will be uncontrollable like a child. I think that emotion is everyone's "real estate".It should "appreciate" with the civilization of the society.It is the "glass" of the spirit.In the final analysis, the ultimate goal of human spiritual self-improvement is to make the emotions of each of us richer, more delicate, and more in line with the nature of human nature.In the era of currency appreciation and emotional devaluation, no matter how developed the industry and how prosperous the business is, it is actually sad and depressing.This will not only make each of us feel helpless poverty after becoming a millionaire, but also make each of us fall into unprecedented loneliness. In today's age of materialistic desires, extremely inflated desire for material possession, greed and business ambitions everywhere, I attach great importance to the emotional education of my son.Because I know very well that I will not be able to leave him any so-called inheritance.My emotional education to him is one of my responsibilities to him as a father! A person's fame, and whether a person is respectable or not, are often inversely proportional to each other.If you think about the most ordinary and ordinary people, their names are not easy to be published in the newspapers, and it is almost impossible for them to appear on TV in their entire lives. Their good character is the most essential, the most free from distractions, and the most The most worthy of our sincere respect! As a human being, although he is in all matter, he should be above all matter at the same time.After all, the lives of the poor and the rich are equally flawed.The latter is filled with money. The important difference between human beings and plants and animals is precisely that human beings can design their own desires and have the urge to realize this desire.Ideals make people higher than all things in the universe, and ideals make people have indomitable spiritual power.The ideal is thus painful when one's urge to realize it is thwarted. Ideal, in the final analysis, is nothing more than a subjective choice of a certain way of life.Objective constraints are usually stronger than subjective efforts.Only a very few people's subjective efforts finally break through the objective limitations and achieve the realization of their ideals. This makes people often worship "subjective efforts", thinking that as long as they make indomitable efforts, the objective limitations will one day be overcome. "breakthrough".actually not. So I think that having ideals is a correct attitude towards life, and giving up ideals is also a correct attitude towards life.Sometimes the latter attitude, as an art of living, is wiser.Having ideals and pursuits is a proactive way of living. Not to be tortured by an unrealistic ideal or pursuit, and to adjust the direction of choice is a proactive way of living. A way of living, as long as it is the most suitable for you, it is the best and the most beautiful.Of course, this way of living should first of all be a normal and decent way of living. It is rare for a writer to cultivate another person to become a writer.Whether a person can become a writer, the key is probably not in cultivation, but in his own potential. In fact, there are some distances that cannot be crossed in a lifetime. All life is life, no matter subjective choice or objective arrangement, as long as it is not poor, miserable, misfortune after misfortune, as long as it is normal life, it is worth living well.It should be noted that any kind of life has positive and negative aspects.The authority of the emperor is not what farmers can hope for, but farmers don't have to worry about being killed and usurped.The negative pay of all celebrities' lives is proportional to the positive they get.People go to high places, water flows to low places - people's idea of ​​changing their own destiny is always beyond reproach, but it should be changed from the most practical place first. Xunzi once said: "Those who know themselves do not blame others, and those who know their fate do not blame heaven." The literal meaning seems to be resigned to fate, but it actually emphasizes an optimistic attitude towards life.Without an optimistic attitude towards life, how can we talk about being aggressive?Opportunities may wave to you at any time, as long as you are prepared. What you get at the age of thirty to forty will never be the last thing you get.Similarly, what you didn't get at the age of thirty to forty doesn't mean that you can't achieve it in your life.You may experience gain, loss, gain, and loss several times in your life, and sometimes the trajectory of your life is completely and completely changed, forcing you to start everything from scratch.Whoever prepares more and who has a strong ability to adapt will be able to grasp a piece of his own life.The more the contemporary society develops, the more the relationship between any kind of career and people will become a relationship of inseparability, separation and separation, occasional unity, and occasional mutual abandonment. There are more evils in life, and people can't help but become wary.Sincerity has turned into hypocrisy day by day, and kindness has turned into suspicion day by day like this, and it feels like a burden in life day by day.A person who is gradually becoming hypocritical will probably not be able to offer much truth to soothe the hearts of others.Even the person who sees through himself and disdains himself, it's better not to approach him. But the deep understanding and understanding that year seems to be able to extend to this day.It still remains a part of our hearts. Flowers are blooming everywhere.From the living environment like a crack in the rocks, if flowers grow and bloom, I think this process contains an extraordinary comment on the "destiny" of Eryu!The nobility and eloquence of the human spirit can also be seen from this! The remorse in my heart was like cowpox, and I went crazy, and a new layer of thought grew out of it-people's love for people should be above everything else, and it is the minimum and necessary principle of society.When this principle is perverted, man should not be tamed a slave to his age.What a price we paid for this very ordinary thought! ... To die for love may be an elegant mistake. Only those who know they can't do it, often chatter to prove themselves... The young people who fell in love with each other couldn't hide the affectionate eyes when they looked at each other silently.Being praised is sometimes not a good thing for a person. Doubt is close to nature in man.People sometimes spend a lifetime trying to believe something, but they often form some kind of doubt within a few minutes or even seconds, and it affects others like knocking down dominoes... Doubt is a psychological sneeze that is hard to stop once it starts.Its process has a certain pleasure for people.Especially when the stakes are high, when suspicion and sense of responsibility are mixed together, it tends to quickly become far from objective conclusions, and all reasoning will slide in a subjective direction... At any time, under any circumstances, it is despicable to show even a little frivolity to those who die from noble impulses, even if they die inappropriately.Yes, you can regret and sigh, but please don't take the opportunity to ridicule... Sometimes, people are driven by a mutual influence to do things, and it is difficult to stop at the original wish.It's like many cooks working together to make a dish, the result must be different from what they originally agreed to make.Reason is often ridiculed and scorned in such cases.Passion and impulse, even blind action, often become the most cohesive and appealing spiritual clarion call.Everyone seems to have the opportunity to be like the commander-in-chief of the armed forces to answer all calls and respond to thousands of calls-that is what everyone has always hoped for.Such times are thus almost sacred to young hearts.That vortex of impulsiveness and passion seems to be extraordinarily brilliant and charming, if you are sucked into it, you will sink to the bottom... Mourning is a real experience of death for living people. It makes life and death no longer seem to be two fundamentally different things, but two ways of saying the same thing. It makes sincere people feel more deeply. Sincerity makes people who are not very sincere feel guilty secretly.This kind of sincerity is the most peculiar sincerity of human beings, and it must be higher than the sadistic sincerity when people worship others.In contrast, the former is considered normal even if it is extraordinary, while the latter is contrived even if it is ordinary... Even myths or fairy tales are told with a surge of emotion and a tone of high-pitched self-confidence above all.It also feels like the inaugural address of a sanguine head of state.Therefore, a sanguine person can be a general, but he is not suitable to be a head of state.Because they tend to bring real people to myth or fairy tale nirvana... People in general, men or women, young or old.As far as the subconscious is concerned, there is a psychological tendency to yearn for the drama of life.Because life is not drama, human beings create drama to compensate for the ordinary in life's enduring circumstances.Many behaviors of many people can be attributed to the psychological proposition of trying to get rid of the ordinary.Generally speaking, the more dramatic the more fascinating... Abusing young people today is not a precious thing worth keeping.That's right, even the boys and girls who can be said to be sincere among them, the cruelty is like the sincerity of a butterfly to a flower.But the essence of a butterfly never belongs to a certain flower.Their sadism, if it exists at all, is both extensive and promiscuous.Moreover, it is generally not possible to use years to calculate its durability.But only month, day and even hour... An authority, if it is sufficiently proved that it is indeed an authority, and if the person who first relies on it does not doubt its existence at all, does not seem to be real at all times and places. , and can control anyone in any situation.Ordinary people, by their very nature, look forward to someone re-regulating their reason and restraining their impulses, in times and situations where it seems least authoritative.Human beings are born with the inability to endure absolute freedom for long.We fear the capriciousness and indulgence of our own behavior in the same way that we sometimes rebel and flee from authority.Our escape from authority is always temporary, just as kindergarten children's escape from their aunt is temporary.We are essentially inseparable from all authority, and this is a lifelong habit of almost all of us.Whether we want to admit it or not, the truth is... Hope is something that costs a lot.Hope itself is undoubtedly a spiritual enjoyment, perhaps the chief spiritual enjoyment in the world.But hope, like all other pleasures enjoyed inappropriately, is punished by the pangs of despair.Some kind of dangerous hope is irrational, and what is expected is an event that does not conform to the law, but it is just an excessive demand of the hopeful.Dangerous hope alters the normal course and, at bottom, only destroys the universal rules of what to achieve...   Action always has more impact than inaction.Every kind of action is itself an influence.Any kind of action can play a leading role in itself.But sometimes this drive is psychological, spiritual, emotional, subconscious, internal, and difficult to be judged, while at other times it is a herd phenomenon that is stalking like a bird of prey... Love is a disease.Every disease has its domain: madness in the brain; low back pain in the vertebrae; love pain in the free nervous system, the network of conjunctival fibers.The fundamental mystery of lust lies hidden in that invisible web.A malfunction or defect in this nervous system inevitably leads to the pain of love, which presents itself as a rush of chemicals and a wave of urges.There is longing and passion, pride and jealousy.Intuition is there to rule everything, relying entirely on the flesh.Because it expresses the primitive instinct of human life honestly.Reason is just a "third party" intruding there... I often feel that a very resilient umbilical cord between myself and something old has snapped.I was used to absorbing something from that old thing, even though it made me poor and malnourished.And it can convey nothing to me now.It itself dilutes, dissolves, like ice dissolves into a puddle of water.When the umbilical cord was severed, the baby fell into the bloody hands of the midwife.But I felt that my umbilical cord was not cut, it was obviously torn off, it was pulled off, it was tied to a knot and worn off.I felt as if I had fallen from a height of 10,000 meters, there was no ground, not even water, only a pair of bloody midwife's hands... And I'm not a baby anymore, I'm a man, a contemporary species that has grown into a man, a free fall... I only grow again once. Although I have grown into a man, I am not yet good at absorbing and digesting the new "food" that life offers me.My teeth are used to crushing everything that is hard and shelled, and the new "food" that life offers me is neither hard nor shelled.It is soft, sticky, sticky to the teeth, easy to digest but hard to absorb... Do I have to change my stomach? Do I have to change blood? More often than not, I feel like I'm not really held by a pair of hands.Or to be more precise, I didn't step on the ground, but stood on my hands... Don't grown-ups often let babies be held in their hands like that? ... Camels sometimes get angry and go berserk.Seeing that something was wrong, the Arabian shepherd threw his coat to the camel, let it trample on it, and let it bite into pieces. When it was exhausted, it knelt down to its master and reconciled as before, and became docile again... Smart dictators know this trick too. One of the signs that contemporary people have become overly complicated is that the lyrics of popular songs are becoming more and more simple and clear... There is an essential difference between friendship and the so-called "brother loyalty". "Brothers' loyalty" is also possessed by hooligans, and it is the chain that maintains the common interests among hooligans and proletarians; and friendship is the Hongqiao that leads from people's hearts to people's hearts... Although the reality of interpersonal relationships is becoming hypocritical and treacherous, it has not reached the level of "everyone else is hell".As long as we pay a little attention, it is not difficult to observe that people who often say that "everyone else is hell" actually live a very happy life - it doesn't look like suffering in hell at all - people, please keep a distance from them ! Tolerance without principles is actually another kind of cowardice... The problems in many aspects of China, or the problems in many aspects, do not lie in the people who do it, but in the people who don't do it or can't do anything or don't want to do anything at all and even get angry when they see others doing it.Even if the person who is doing it has resentment and anger, it is probably temporary.The mission they set for themselves is not to vent, but to do.People who don’t do anything, can’t do anything, or don’t want to do anything at all, and don’t get angry even when they watch others do it, have too much effort to vent.They are always in a state of anger because their anger is not in one place.So they always need to vent.After venting once.Soon enough, he took another puff of breath.This qi, that qi, endless resentment, anger, and evil qi, are united and entangled in one body, suppressed for a long time, vented and magnified, and become a disaster in the humanities... I always argue with people - I think the fundamental principle of being human is that you don't have to learn how to be human at all.The so-called man.It's completely different from a real person.Goodbye man.In the final analysis, it is nothing more than "being a human being".The word "will" just means that he or she is "doing" rather than "doing". I will never have a deep friendship with someone who "knows how to be a human being".Such people distrust me.Because when he or she accepts my trust or hopes to gain my trust, how do I know that he or she is not "doing" at night?Think about it, if a person, especially a man, lives "as a human being" instead of living as... an individual, isn't it disgusting?If I were a woman, no matter how flamboyant or handsome that man is, I would not be able to fall in love with him.Unless, like him, I am an expert in "being" people.I can't imagine the weird feeling of a woman sleeping with a man who is good at "doing" people, then, making love at that time is "doing" love... In fact, a man can never understand a woman.No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't penetrate into the heart of a woman.A woman's mind is a universe, a man's mind is but a planet.Standing on any planet and observing the universe, even with the help of a telescope, how much can you know and understand? ... No matter what kind of woman a woman becomes, there is a longing to be fully understood by a man-no matter how comprehensive and profound a woman's understanding of a woman is, it cannot comfort her.It is like standing by a spring and longing for a bowl of water.What they want is not only water, but also the bowl to hold the water... It is a heart that a man intends to trust her to entrust to her.A woman who does not understand this truth is not a mature woman.There are some women who understand this truth soon after they start life, and they are lucky; some women, when they bid farewell to this world, may still understand this truth.They are so unfortunate... Good women are a school. A good man leads to a good life through a good woman... A man's hundred boyfriends are not as good as a good woman; a man's hundred boyfriends cannot replace a good woman.A good woman is an education.A good woman exudes a kind of indescribable aura that is as beautiful as the spring breeze turns into rain. She is the indomitable power that a good man finds himself, walks towards himself, and then boldly walks towards life... A good woman makes a man up.Things are often like this: men are tired, men are confused, men are painful, men are manic; while good women are gentle, good women are calm, good women are patient, and good women are most willing to sacrifice.A good woman warms a man and at the same time makes up for his incompleteness and childishness... Humanity is the morality of human beings respecting life; humanity is the understanding of human beings respecting human beings.而爱证明，人不但和动物一样有心脏，还有动物没有的心灵…… 没有一个女人，任何一个家庭，都不是完整的家庭。人类首先创造了“女人”二字，其后才创造了“家庭”一词。女人，对于男人们来说，意昧着温暖、柔情、抚慰、欢乐和幸福。有男人的刚强，有男人的坚忍，有男人的自信，有男人的勇敢，甚至也有男人的爱好和兴趣……但是男人们没有过属于他们自己的幸福。是的，从来没有过。而只有女人们带给男人们，并为他们不断设计，不断完善，不断增加，不断美化的幸福。“幸福”是一个女性化的词。 每个人的一生都有几个年龄界线，使人对生命产生一种紧迫感，一种惶惑。二十五岁、三十岁、三十五岁……二十五岁之前我们总以为我们的生活还没开始，而青春正从我们身旁一天天悄然逝去。当我们不经意地就跨过了这人生的第一个界线后，我们才往往大吃一惊，但那被诗人们赞美为“黄金岁月”的年华却已永不属于我们。我们不免对前头两个界线望而却步，幻想着能逗留在二十五岁和三十岁之间。这之间的年华，如同阳光映在壁上的亮影，你看不出它的移动。你一旦发现它确是移动了，白天已然接近黄昏，它暗了，马上就要消失。于是你懵懵懂懂地跨过了人生的第二个界线，仿佛被谁从后猛推一掌，跌入一个本不想进入的门坎…… 人除了自己的躯壳需要一个家而外，心灵也需要一个“家”的，至于那究竟是一处怎样的所在，却因人而异了…… 心灵的“家”，乃是心灵得以休憩的地方，休想的代词当然是“请勿打扰”。 是的，任何人的心灵都是需要休想的——所以心灵有时候不得不从人的家里出走，找寻自己的“家”…… 遗憾的是，几乎我们每一个人都有家，而我们疲惫的心灵却似无家可归的流浪儿。 谎言是有惯性的。当它刹住，甩出的是真实…… 男人宁愿一面拥着女人的娇体，吻着她的香唇，同时听着她娓娓动听的关于爱的谎言，而不愿女人庄重地声明她内心里的真话——“我根本不爱你”——故我们简直设法说男人在这种时候究竟是幻想主义者还是现实主义者。由此可见，幻想主义和现实主义，在特殊情况之下是可以统一的。拥吻着现实而做超现实的幻想，睁大眼睛看看，我们差不多都在这么活着…… 因为在生活中没有所谓“乎等”可言乃是大的前提，所以人在游戏的时候力求定下诸多“平等”的原则…… 几乎每一个人都极言自己的活法并不轻松，可是几乎每一个人都不肯轻意改变自己的活法，足见每一个人都具有仿佛本能的明智——告诉他或她，属于他或她的活法，也许最是目前的话法…… 言论自由的妙处在于——当你想说什么就可以说什么的时候，我们大多数人似乎便无话可说了…… 当护士在你的臀部打针的时候，你若联想到你敬畏而又轻蔑的某些大人物的屁股上，也必留下过针眼儿，你定会暗自一笑，心里乎和许多…… 人：给我公平！ 时代：那是什么？ 人；和别人一样的一切！ 时代：你和哪些别人一样？ 朋友，你一定也留意过秋天的落叶吧？一些半黄半绿的叶子，浮在平静的水面上，向我们预示着秋天的最初的迹象。秋天的树叶是比夏天的树叶更美丽的。阳光和秋风给它们涂上了金黄色的边儿。金黄色的边儿略略向内卷着，仿佛是被巧手细致地做成那样的，仿佛是要将中间的绿包裹起来似的。那绿，也与夏天的绿不同了。少了些翠嫩，多了些釉青。叶子的经络，也显得格外的分明了，像血管，看去仍有生命力在呼吸……它们的时柄居然都高翘着，一致地朝向前方，像一艘艘古阿拉伯的海船……树是一种生命，叶亦是一种生命。当明年树上长出新叶时，眼前这些落叶早已腐烂了。它们一旦从树上落下，除了拾标本的女孩儿，谁还关注它们呢？而这恰恰是它们两种色彩集于一身，变得最美丽的时候。而使它们变得美丽的，竟是死亡的色彩…… 人也是绝不能第二次重度自己的某一个季节的。故古人诗曰一一“莫道桑榆晚，为霞尚满天。”人啊，钟爱自己的每一个人生季节吧！也许这世界上只有钱这种东西才是越贬值越重要的东西。生活的的确确是张着大口要每一个人不停地用钱喂它。而每一个人又都不得不如此。随处可见那样一些人，他们用钱饲喂生活，如同小孩儿用糖果饲喂杂技团铁笼子里的熊一般慷慨大方。而不把生活当成那头熊的人，则经常最感缺少的竟是钱…… 在人欲横流的社会，善良和性行为同样都应有所节制。无节制的前者导致愚蠢，无节制的后者——我们都已知道，导致艾滋病…… 我的大多数同代人是这样的一些人——如同大潮退后被遗留在沙滩上的鱼群，在生活中啪啪嗒嗒地蹦跳着，大张着他们干渴的嘴巴，大裂着他们鲜红的腮，挣扎而落下一片片鳞，遍体伤痕却呈现出令人触目惊心的活下去的生命力。正是那样一种久经磨顾的生命力，仿佛向世人宣言，只要再一次大潮将他们送回水中，他们虽然遍体伤痕但都不会死去。他们都不是娇贵的鱼。他们将在水中冲洗掉磨进了他们躯体的尖锐的沙粒…… 然而时代作用于他们的悲剧性在于——属于他们的大潮已过…… 对于一个男人，任何一个有魅力的女人，要取代一个死去了的女人在他心灵中的位置的话，绝不比用石块砸开一个核桃难。不管她生前他曾多么爱她。而反过来则不一样…… 大多数女人天生比男人的心灵更忠于情爱…… 人生有三种关系是值得特别珍惜的——初恋之情，患难之交，中学同学之间的友谊。中学同学是有别于大学同学的。大学同学，因为“大”了，则普遍是理性所围的关系，难免掺杂世故的成分。但在中学同学之间，则可能保持一种少男少女纯正的真诚。在中学同学之间，即使后来学得很世故的人，往往也会羞于施展、就算当上了总统的人，见了中学时代的好朋友，也愿暂时忘记自己是总统的。而见了大学同学，却会不由自主地时常提醒自己，别忘了我已经是总统…… 宁静的正确含义是这样的——它时时提醒我们这世界是不宁静的…… 我们通常所说作为“灵魂”的东西，恐怕原本未必是那么不喜欢孤独的东西，恐怕原本未必是那么耐不住寂寞的。也许恰恰相反，不喜欢孤独的是人自身，耐不住寂寞的也是人自身。而“灵魂”，其实是个时时刻刻伺机寻求独立时时刻刻企图背叛人却又无法彻底实现独立的东西…… 看电影是娱乐，办丧事也容易导向娱乐。而且是可以身心投入的娱乐。是可以充当主角、配角、有名次的群众演员和一般性无名次的群众演员的娱乐。大办便意味着有大场面，有大情节，有大高潮…… 能够给心灵以安宁的爱情，无论于男人亦或女人，都不啻是一件幸事。安宁之中的亲呢才适合氤氲出温馨。而温馨将会长久地营养爱情。 爱情的真谛可以理解为如下的过程——第一，是爱上一个人；第二，是被一个人所爱；第三，至关重要的是，祈求上帝赐助两者同时发生…… 中国的贫穷家庭的主妇们，对生活的承受力和忍耐力是极可敬的，她们凭一种本能对未来充满撞撮，虽然这憧憬是朦胧的，盲目的，带有虚构的主观色彩的。她们的孩子，是她们这种憧憬中的“佛光”…… 九十年代的姑娘有九十年代的她们的特点。或者毫无思想。毫无思想而又“彻底解放”，也便谈不上有多少实在的感情。或者仿佛是女哲人，自以为是女哲人。年纪轻轻的便很“哲”起来，似乎至少已经活了一百多岁，已经将人间世界看得毕透一般。男人便觉得那不是姑娘，而是尤物。即令美得如花似玉，也不过就是如花似玉的尤物。这两类，都叫我替她们的青春惋惜。又有九十年代的心理艾滋病传染着她们——玩世不恭。真正的玩世不恭，也算是一种玩到家了的境界。装摸作样的玩世不恭，那是病态。九十年代的姑娘装摸作样的玩世不恭，和封建社会思春不禁的公主小姐们装模作样的假正经是一码事。 爱情方面的幸福，不过是人心的一种纯粹自我的感觉。心灵是复杂而微妙的东西。幸福并不靠别人的判断才得出结论。一个人倘真的认为自己是幸福的，那么他或她便无疑是幸福的…… 我们曾经从自诩自恃的“无产阶级”的立场所嗷嗷指斥的“小资产阶级”的情调，我认为实实在在的是人类非常普遍的富有诗意的情调。我们的生活中如果断然没有了这一种情调，那真不知少男少女们会变成什么样子？恋爱中的年轻人怎么彼此相爱？而我们的生活又将会变成什么样子。 有两种人对孤独最缺少耐受力。一种是内心极其空旷的人，一种是内心极其丰富的人。空旷，便渴望从外界获得充实。丰富，则希图向外界施加影响。而渴望从外界获得充实的孤独比希图向外界施加影响的孤独可怕得多，它不是使人的心灵变得麻木，而是使人的心灵变得狂躁。 空旷的心灵极易被幽暗笼罩。人类情感的诗意和崇高的冲动会在这样的心灵中消退，低下的欲念和潜意识层的邪恶会在这样的心灵萌生。像野草茂长在乱石之间。 在昆虫方面，毛毛虫变成美丽的蝴蝶。而在人，为什么常常反过来？为什么我们会这么长久，这么长久地容忍这…种丑恶的嬗变？我们每个人都根本无法预测，将会有怎样的悲剧突然降临在我们头上。等你从某种祸事或不幸中惊醒，你或许已经失去了原先的生活，以及一切维系那种生活的条件。你面临着另…种从前绝不曾想到过的严峻生活，整个世界仿佛在你面前倾斜了。在这种情况下——人能忍受自己，便能忍受一切。 怀念是一种相会的形式。我们人人的情感都曾一度依赖于它的…… 怀念，这是人作为人的最本质的、最单纯的、最自己的、最顽固的权利，它为人心所拥有。当人心连这种任什么人的什么威慑也无法剥夺的权利都主动放弃了，人心就不过是血的泵罢了…… 富有者的空虚与贫穷者的空虚是同样深刻的，前者有时甚至比后者更咄咄逼人。抵御后者不过靠本能，而抵御前者却靠窖智的自觉。对贫穷的人来说，富人的空虚是“矫情”；对富人来说，穷人的空虚是“破罐子破摔”一一两种人都无法深人对方的心灵里去体验。这种互相无法体验的心理状态只能产生一种情绪，那就是彼此的敌意…… 中国人尊崇“伯乐”，西方人相信自己。 “伯乐”是一种文化和民族心理方面的国粹。故中国人总在那儿祈祷被别人发现的幸运。而西方人更靠自己发现自己。十位“伯乐”的价值永远也不如一匹真正的千里马。如果“伯乐”只会相马，马种的进化便会导致“伯乐”们的失业。 对马，“伯乐”是“伯乐”；对人，“伯乐”今天包含有“靠山”和“保护人”的意思…… 所谓“正统”的思想之对于我的某些同代人们，诚如旧童装之对于长大了的少女，她们有时容忍不了别人将它们贬为“过时货”，乃是因为她们穿着它们确曾可爱过。时代之所以是延续的，正由于只能在一代人的内心里结束。而历史告诉我们，这个过程比葡萄晒成干儿的时间要长得多…… 大多数人在学会了与生活“和平共处”的时候，往往最能原谅自己变成了滑头，但却并不允许自己变成恶棍。我们可以做到职听滑头哲学保持沉默，但毕竟很难修行到容忍恶棍理论冒充新道德经的地步…… 而人类的希望也许正体现在这一点上。 对于三十多岁的女人，生日是沮丧的加法。 三十三岁的女人，即或漂亮，也是谈不上“水灵”的。她们是熟透了的果子。生活是果库，家庭是塑料袋儿，年龄是储存期。她们的一切美点，在二十三岁这一储存期达到了完善——如果确有美点的话，熟透了的果子是最不易储存的果子。需要储存的东西是难以保鲜的东西。三十三岁是女人生命链环中的—段牛皮筋，家庭生活既能神长它老化它又能保佐它的弹性。这就是某些女人为什么三十四岁了、三十五岁了、三十六岁了依然觉得自己逗留在三十二岁上，依然使别人觉得她们仍像二十三岁的缘故。也是某些女人为什么一过三十三岁就像秋末的园林没了色彩、没了生机一片萧瑟的缘故…… 女人需要自己的家乃是女人的第二本能。在这一点上，她们像海狸。普通的女人尤其需要自己的家，哪怕像个小窝一样的家。嘲笑她们这一点的男人，自以为是在嘲笑平庸。他们那种“超凡脱俗”的心态不但虚伪而且肤浅。他们忘了他们成为男人之前无一不是在女人们构造的“窝”里长大的。不过人类筑窝营巢的技巧和本领比动物或虫鸟高明罢了…… 喜欢照镜子的男人绝不少于喜欢照镜子的女人。女人常一边照镜子一边化妆和修饰自己。男人常对着镜子久久地凝视自己，如同凝视一个陌生者，如同在研究他们为什么是那个样子。女人既易接受自己，习惯自己，钟爱自己，也总想要改变自己。男人既苦于排斥自己，怀疑自己，否定自己，也总想要认清自己…… 大多数女人迷悯地寻找着属于自己的那一个男人。大多数男人迷悯地寻找着自我。 男人寻找不到自我的时候，便像儿童一样投入女人的怀抱…… 男人是永远的相对值。 女人是永远的绝对值。 女性被认为是一个女人之后，即或仍保留着某些孩子的天性，其灵魂却永不再是孩子。所以她们总是希望被当作纯洁烂漫的儿童。男性被认为是一个男人之后，即或刮鳞一样将孩子的某些天性从身上刮得一干二净，其灵魂仍趋向于孩子。所以他们总爱装“男子汉”。事实上哪一个男人都仅能寻找到自己的一部分，甚至很小的一部分。正如哪一个女人都不能寻找到一个不使自己失望的“男子汉”一样……女人是男人的小数点，她标在他一生的哪一阶段，往往决定一个男人成为什么样的男人。 我们看到高大强壮伟岸挺拔的男人挽着娇小柔弱的女人信心中足地走着，万勿以为他必是她的“护花神”，她离了他难以生活；其实她对于他可能更重要，谁保护着谁很不一定……爱神、美神、命运之神、死神、战神、和平之神、胜利之神乃至艺术之神都被想象为女人塑造为女人，不是没有原因的。我们勘查人类的心理历程，在最成熟的某一阶段，也不难发现儿童天性的某些特点，实乃因为人类永远有一半男人。一个民族如果没有出息，不是因为女人在数量上太多，而是因为男人在质量上太劣…… 一个苦于寻找不到自我才投入女人怀抱的男人，终将会使她意识到，他根本不是她要寻找的男人，而不过是延长断奶期的孩子。对于负数式的男人，女人这个小数点没有积极意义…… 婚前与婚后，是男人和女人的爱之两个境界。无论他们为了做夫妻，曾怎样花前月下，曾怎样山盟海誓、如胶似漆、形影不离、耳鬓厮磨、卿卿我我，曾怎样同各自的命运挣扎拼斗、破釜沉舟、孤注一掷、不成功便成仁，一旦他们真正实现了终于睡在经法律批准的同一张床上的风愿，不久便会觉得他们那张床不过就是水库中的一张木筏而已。爱之狂风暴雨，闪电雷鸣过后，水库的平静既是宜人的也是庸常的…… 没有一种人生不是残缺不全的…… 任何人也休想抓住一个属于自己的完整的人生句号。我们只能抓毁它。抓到手一段大弧或小弧而已。那是句号的残骸。无论怎样认真书写，那仍像一个或大或小的逗号。越描越像逗号。人的生命在胚胎时期便酷似一个逗号，所以生命的形式便是一个逗号死亡本身才是个句号。 生活有时就像一个巨大的震荡器。它白天发动，夜晚停止。人像沙砾，在它开始震荡的时候，随之跳跃，互相磨擦。在互相磨擦中遍体鳞伤，在它停止之时随之停止。只有停止下来才真正感到疲惫，感到晕眩，感到迷惑，感到颓丧。产生怀疑，产生不满，产生忧怨，产生悲观。而当它又震荡起来的时候，又随之跳跃和摩擦。在跳跃和摩擦着的时候，认为生活本来就该是这样的，盲目地兴奋着和幸福着。白天——夜晚，失望——希望，自怜——自信，自抑——自扬，这乃是人的本质。日日夜夜，循环不已，这乃是生活的惯力满足是幸福的一种形式；比较是痛苦的一种形式；忘却是自由的一种形式…… 男人需要某一个女人的时候，那个女人大抵总是会成为世界上最好的女人。为了连男人自己也根本不相信的赞语，女人便常将自己作为回报…… 成人有时想象死亡，正如儿童之有时想象长大…… 四十岁以后的女人最易对悄然逝去、悄然来临的岁月产生恐惧、对生命之仿佛修然枯萎的现象产生惊悸。她们的老就像一栋老榴树，在她们内心里盘根错节，遮成不透风不透雨不透阳光暗幽幽闷郁郁阴凄凄的一个独立王国。她们的情感只能在它的缝隙中如同一只只萤火虫似的钻飞。那种奇妙的昆虫尾部发出的磷光在她们内心聚不到一起，形成不了哪怕是一小片明媚的照耀，只不过细细碎碎闪闪烁烁地存在而已。幸运的是，当她们过了五十岁以后，反而对皱纹和白发泰然处之了。如此看来，“老”是人尤其是女人很快便会习惯的某一过程…… 在我们的生活中，自私自利和个性独立，像劣酒和酒精一样常被混为一谈，这真可耻。 “老”是丑的最高明的化妆师。因而人们仅以美和丑对男人和女人的外表进行评论，从不对老人们进行同样的评论。老人是人类的同一化的复归。普遍的男人们和女人们对普遍的老人们的尊敬，乃是人类对自身的同一化的普遍认可。 今天，在城市，贫穷已不足以引起普遍的同情和怜悯。而富有，哪怕仅仅是富有，则足以使许多人刮目相看了。一个以富为荣的时代正咄咄地逼近着人们。它是一个庞然大物，它是巨鳄，它是复苏的远古恐龙。人们闻到了它的潮腥气味儿。人们都感到了它强而猛健的呼吸。它可以任富人骑到它的背上，甚至愿意为他们表演节目，绝不过问他们是怎样富的。在它爬行过的路上，它会将贫穷的人践踏在脚爪之下，他们将在它巨大的身躯下变为泥土。于是连不富的人们，也惶惶地装出富者的样子，以迎合它嫌贫爱富的习性，并幻想着也能够爬到它的背上去。它笨拙地然而一往无前地爬将过来，用它那巨大的爪子拨拉着人。当它爬过之后，将他们分为穷的、较穷的、富的、较富的和极富的。它用它的爪子对人世重新进行排列组合。它将冷摸地吞吃一切阻碍它爬行的事物，包括人。它惟独不吞吃贫穷。它将贫穷留待人自己去对付…… 人们宁肯彻底遗忘掉自己的天性，而不肯稍忘自己在别人的田里是怎样的人或应该是一个怎样的人。人们习惯了贴近别人看待我们的一成不变的眼光，惟恐自己一旦天性复归，破坏了自己在别人心目中的形象。所以，和人忘乎所以玩一小时，胜过和人交往一年对人的认识…… 是的，男人和女人构成人类的两大营垒。但他们和她们永远也不会冲突为两大敌对的营垒。女人做女人更适合做的。男人做男人更适合做的。 人类社会的文明不在于使男人和女人或者反过来使女人和男人都变得差不了多少。恰恰相反，它将越来越关心男人和女人的一切方面的差别，越来越重视这一差别。在社会分工方面，越来越细致地考虑到这一种差别。它的至高使命，是客观地、科学地重新研究和分析，不同的男人和不同的女人都更适合做什么。 男人是女人的镜子。通过她所爱的男人，可以判断她大抵属于哪一类女人。 男人是各式各样的。时代的文明使男人的行业多起来。若取一种笼统的划分法，无非也就这么几类：只能当官的，也能当官的，不能当官的，不愿当官的。都是女人的镜子。 这个时代“生产”出了太多太多除了文凭和学历其他一切方面太差太差的男人。科举时代早已过去，时代需要的是不但有文凭有学历而且有实际能力的男人。女人们也是。总有一天时代将宣布，它不需要太多太多的“书生”，他们过剩了。而女人们也将宣布，她们看重的不只是男人的文凭和学历。 男人是女人的镜子，女人是男人的学校。反过来不成立。女人并非男人的镜子。男人选择女人的内容要较女人选择男人的内容肤浅得多，不易全面映照出他的生活观念。男人也并非女人的学校。男人可以舍得花钱“包装”他所爱的女人，可以用他自己的生活观念改变女人的生活观念，可以用他的思想方法影响女人的思想方法。但他无法教导女人如何更女性化。因而男人对女人从本质上说没有塑造力。当代女人选择男人的困难比任何时代都大得多了。这个时代注定了是女性的大苦闷时代。 以一个凡夫俗子的人生观来看，世界本不是“空”的。人心也很难达到真正意义上的“空”。如果真能达到那一种“空”，连掸都是应从内心里空掉的。 我们纵观禅的历史，看到了朴素的唯物论和透彻的辩证法与意在哗众取宠的玄学，像两根藤一样扭缠在一起。 真与伪，有时简直就像一对一摸一样的孪生姐妹。你爱的是姐姐，很可能娶的是妹妹…… 智慧不是知识。智慧根本不可能像知识一样互相传授。但智慧是可以互相启迪的。而一切过分熔耀出来的智慧，都是在不同程度上贬值了的智慧。焙耀一旦是目的，智慧也就在闪光的同时死灭了…… 一方面，禅学的列祖列宗认为，禅宗是不可能靠语言和文字去发扬光大的。另一方面，他们十分清楚，离开了语言和文字，尤其若连语言都摈弃了，禅学的命脉也就会断了。 这是一个矛盾。