Chapter 124 I am for my beloved

It burned like this! ——Guo Moruo: "Coal in the Furnace" one Yang Qidi loves Su Ying.However, he is still secretly in love in his heart. Although he was in his twenties, he was rough and manly, but he was a very shy person.He loves her passionately, but has no courage to reveal the secret in his heart. Like most young people in first love, he had a particularly strong desire to see her and talk to her more than usual in recent days.But once we met, his mouth was as stupid as if he had been kicked by a donkey's hoof, and he couldn't even hear the voice speaking to her clearly—and although he was a good speaker in the past, he was never so stupid that he could speak ordinary words Can't say it!

Whenever this time, he hurried away from her.I'm afraid that his clumsiness will leave a bad impression on her, or cause her some other bad suspicions.Of course, if she suspected that he loved her, that would be all he had in mind.Really, he sometimes wonders: Has she noticed these secrets in his heart recently?She is a clever person!When he moved her to look at him later, there seemed to be something more meaningful in those beautiful eyes.What does that mean?He couldn't tell either.However, he thought again, this might be an illusion of his own!Because he felt that when he looked at him, he was as gay and candid as in the past, and it didn't necessarily have any other "meanings".It's just that he has "meaning"!

He really couldn't hold back the urge to express his love to her, he thought: as long as he expresses his love to her, Haoju will reject him even within a second!This is also good, his soul may be quiet, as before, eating normally, sleeping normally, living normally-and this is also a kind of happiness. Whether Su Ying was aware of his infatuation, he didn't know, but Zu Jiangfeng obviously saw it.Yang Qidi saw this from his weird smile.In fact, Jiang Feng is definitely not now, but has been looking at his relationship with Su Ying in this way for a long time... although he has no words to express it.Before he had such feelings for Su Ying, he didn't take Jiang Feng's smile seriously at all.Even now, Jiang Zuchang's attitude can only make him and Su Ying closer.

In the past few years, the provincial culture and health system went down to this remote mountain village on the Loess Plateau. Some of the educated youth groups left as soldiers, some recruited workers, and some were recommended to go to college. Now there are only four of them left.The wind of grouping the Yangtze River did not go away because he was an "advanced model" of educated youth in the area, and recently "accepted" "new". Politically, he was really hot, so he repeatedly vowed to "take root in the countryside for a lifetime", and he often extended that :

"Chairman Mao made the revolution successful in the countryside." Another boy, Ma Ping, stayed because of personal reasons—he was sent to labor camp for stealing in middle school, and no one dared to take him.The reason why Su Ying couldn't leave was because of her family - her parents were "capitalist roaders".As for him, it was because of other people's reasons - it was his turn to leave several times, and he gave up the opportunity to a classmate who was more difficult than him.In addition, he himself has a deeper affection for the countryside than other classmates—he lived in the countryside with his grandfather and grandmother since he was a child, and he came to the provincial capital to become the father of a printing worker until the two old people died of illness when he was in high school. Because of this, I am used to and like rural life.Although he also wants to go back to the city to find a job he is more willing to do, but staying in the countryside for an extra year or two is not as distressing as some people.In Ma Ping's words, he is basically a "bump".He admits it.Otherwise, since he is such a big man, why doesn't he dare to express his love to a girl he likes?

The four of them left behind often had various frictions, some in politics, some in academics, and some in life.Su Ying grows vegetables in the vegetable garden of the brigade, and he works as a breeder in the first team.Ma Ping claimed that "there is something wrong with his waist", and he did not go up the mountain four times a year, and only cooked for four people, earning half a labor point.As for Jiang Feng, he spends almost three quarters of the year holding various meetings outside. On this day, Jiang Feng came back from a meeting in the area. During the meal, he organized three team members to arrange: one person wrote an article "Happy to suppress the counter-revolutionary incident in Tiananmen Square" and said it would be posted on the blackboard newspaper by the road.He said that several months had passed since the incident, and their educated youth group hadn't made a public statement on this matter yet!He checked and said that his "line awareness is low"; although his personal understanding is clear, he did not mobilize the other three people in the group to do some work, and now he needs to "make up lessons".

"I won't write." Su Ying was the first to say. "Why?" Jiang Feng asked. "You know why," she replied. "I don't think you should keep such a political account for yourself!" Jiang Feng was very unhappy.Then, he turned his head and said, "Qidi, don't you like to write poems? Just give us a poem!" Su Ying glanced at Qidi.In fact, there was no need to glance at it, he had already prepared the answer.He said: "Can I still write poems? If I could write poems, I would have posted them on Tiananmen Square long ago! Why are you staring at me? People have suppressed me!"

"Eat!" Ma Ping, who had never been interested in such political quarrels, yelled as he knocked the iron spoon on the edge of the pot. "You have to write too!" Jiang Feng turned to Ma Ping with some indignation. "I'll write? I'll write. Bring me a newspaper, and I'll copy a few passages for you." Ma Ping replied casually. None of the four said anything, and each ate his own meal.That's how they are, they quarrel when they say it, and stop when they say it.Because both parties in the quarrel know that no one will convince the other even if they quarrel for three days and three nights.

two After lunch, Jiang Feng dragged Ma Ping to school to write a "column". The courtyard is very quiet.Yang Qidi walked around under the old locust tree in the corner of the courtyard alone.The sun was scorching hot.On the poplar trees along the Yichuan Road, Zhizhi was scrambling to be the first to make noise, which made him very upset.In fact, it wasn't Cicada that upset him. He turned around, stood down and glanced at the room on the side, and then walked over.As he walked, he raised his footsteps hesitantly and then lowered them worryingly, as if something dangerous was buried on the ground.

He finally stood in front of Su Ying's door.He raised his right hand and stayed in the air for a full minute before landing on the door.He immediately heard his heart beating louder than knocking on the door. No one answered.However, the door opened. strangeness!The house was empty.He was taken aback.Did he push the door open?He remembered that he did not push the door, so who opened the door?His eyes quickly looked around the room one by one: the table, the bench, the bed, the stove... but there was no one there! Ah, what's going on here?He clearly saw her enter the house and never come out...

Not seeing her, his heartbeat returned to its normal rate.However, he suddenly jumped up again—because at this moment, behind the opened door, suddenly appeared the kind and beautiful face that he longed to see.The face was wet with some drops of water, smiling, and looking at him mischievously, his eyes seemed to say: You fool!If no one!Will the door open by itself? Her sudden appearance, like a bright light, dazzled him.He was so dazed that he didn't see her face clearly at all, he only vaguely saw some crystal drops of water rolling in front of his eyes, and realized in his mind that she was probably washing her face behind the door. He didn't know how he got into the house, only that his walking posture was unbalanced, and even his right leg was a little limp. "Sit down." She said while putting on a towel with her back to him. "Ok." "Drink water?" She turned to look at him and asked. "Ok." "Look at you! Do you want to drink or not!" "Ah! Well... drink it. I'm not thirsty!" He sat on the stool at the table.Although I didn't look at her face, I felt that she was smiling all the time. He panicked even more, rubbing his hands on his knees at a loss; he kept moving his body, not knowing how to sit properly. A steamy water glass was brought to him.He looked at it and took a sip: It's sweetened with sugar.The water glass is too hot!It's almost like his face is hot.Then, the whole body began to be hot, and even the two feet were hot and swollen. He stood up hastily.Stand up and don't know what to do.He had come to talk to her—that is, to be in love!But he didn't know what to say, what to say.ah!First of all, I don't know what to say in the first sentence! He moved her and seemed to be waiting for him to say something, so he didn't speak, he pursed his lips and smiled, and casually pulled a ball of wool from the bed and wrapped it up. He stood there, not knowing whether to go or stay.Embarrassed, he hurried to look at the world map on the wall.Look down country by country.Panicked, Asia sees Africa, from Africa sees Europe, and from Europe sees North and South America. Five minutes have passed, and more than a hundred countries on seven continents have read it, but I haven't thought of the first sentence!He then looked from the countries of Asia: China, Seidian, Nepal, India, Pakistan... When he saw Indonesia in the ocean from the land, he finally remembered the opening sentence.His lips trembled a few times, and he said: "Xiao Su, there are so many islands in Indonesia! No wonder it is called the country of a thousand islands!" "What?" The other party obviously didn't hear clearly. "The... country of a thousand islands!" "Oh, what's upside down, I can't hear what you're saying!" Indeed, he also knew that he didn't hear clearly.Because he didn't make it clear--the devil knows what his tongue is messing with in his mouth! He turned around and fell down on the table, picked up a dip pen and wrote these words on a piece of white paper.She put a ball of thread and came over to stand beside him, watching him write, he immediately panicked, the pen was trembling in his hand, and after writing four words, a stream of ink ideas dripped on the paper, which really looked like the illustrated "A Thousand Islands" country"! After she saw him finish writing, she leaned forward and back with a smile.She took the dip pen from him and scratched a few times under the word "island". He hurriedly lowered his head to see what she was doing.It doesn't matter if you don't read it, but you are shocked when you see it: it turns out that in his panic, he wrote the word "island" as the word "bird"! A surge of hot blood rushed to his head!He quickly put his right hand on the table so that his unbalanced body would not lean down, and said inexplicably: "Our pigs haven't been fed yet!" Before she could react to this sentence, he hurriedly added: "I have to feed the pigs!" He walked away as if he was running away from some disaster. "Wait a minute!" The corners of his clothes were pulled.He turned around, saw her take out two tomatoes from the drawer of the table, handed them to him, and heard her say: "The vegetable garden is selling tomatoes for the first time today, and I bought a few catties. New varieties, try them and see if they are sweet!" He clumsily blocked two ripe tomatoes with both hands, and rushed out of the room like flying. He didn't feed the pig - let it be hungry for a while!He couldn't care less about feeding them now. He left the gate of the courtyard, got off the road, crossed the small river in the middle school, and climbed up the hill opposite the village in one breath. He was sweating profusely and sat under an old pear tree on the top of the mountain. He took off his shirt and threw it aside. He held a tomato in one hand and looked at it from side to side; smelled it with his nose; wipe.Then, for some unknown reason, he suddenly jumped up again, holding two tomatoes in his bare arms, dancing enthusiastically around the pear tree (it’s hard to say it’s a dance), and didn’t stop until a bare tree root tripped him. this crazy action. He laughed and got up from the ground, he was ashamed of his behavior, his face was flushed, and he hurriedly looked around to see if there was anyone.no one!It was lunch time, and all the people who worked on the mountain went home to eat. He shook his head in embarrassment, and sat under the pear tree in the old village again, squinting his eyes, looking at the thick green plateau in the dog days, and at the floating white clouds in the blue sky.Ah, what a wonderful world! He wiped off the dirt on the tomatoes and remembered what Su Ying had just said to him. He carefully put a small piece on each of the two tomatoes, chewed and tasted, and muttered to her in the room down the mountain: "It's so sweet..." three Although Yang Qidi mustered up his courage again and again to pour out his passionate love to Su Ying, but until now he has not been able to clearly say a word about his love for her to her. However, even though he has not yet been able to clearly win her love, the sweetness of those two tomatoes has remained in his heart forever.He grows so big.I have eaten tomatoes many times, and it seems that this time I realized that tomatoes are so delicious! He ate the skins of the two tomatoes, but kept the flesh, washed the seeds in the small river, dried them, wrapped them in white paper, and put them in his box. He loves poetry. , couldn't help but Shixing thought: If one day, the seeds of love can finally be sown into his heart, he will sow these two tomato seeds into the land of his beloved motherland—live in her arms All the happy fruits of your sons and daughters are all brought up by those plump breasts! Pure love will cultivate people's hearts better; make people love life and labor more.Yang Qidi has stricter requirements on himself.He felt that this strict request was made by Su Ying to himself. He is the breeder of the production team.Every morning, when the members and classmates were still sleeping, he went up the mountain in the dark to mow grass for the animals.When the members of the commune started work early in the morning, his grass was mowed back.Look how big a bale of grass he is carrying!Seen from the back, only two legs under a pile of grass can be seen taking small steps! His first and last rest on the road is always by the vegetable garden at the head of the village—because she works here. Every morning, when he carried the hill-like bales of grass down from the mountain and put them on the big bluestone by the side of the vegetable garden, Good Limit came to work with a hoe on his shoulders.Her jet-black cropped hair was wrapped in a snow-white towel; she was dressed in a gray-washed blue uniform with patches on her knees.His very white and thin face was a little reddened by the scorching sun, like an autumn apple after its first frost.A pair of eyes are always shining like dewdrops on the blades of grass in the morning.In nature, she is like a magnolia tree, pure and beautiful yet simple and dignified. When she came to him, she saw the black sweat on his face, so she took off the white towel covering her head and handed it to him. He giggled and said, "I have." He took out his dirty little handkerchief. She smiled and shouted: "Ah! That handkerchief of yours can make sweat flush into the creek! Here it is!" A towel was thrown over his head. He hesitated to use the snow-white towel to wipe his black and sweaty face, and a fragrant soap smell rushed straight to his nose.For some reason, he felt that tomato tasted like this. After wiping off his sweat, he looked at the sweat-stained towel and returned it to her in embarrassment. She snatched it from him, wrapped it around the handle of the hoe, and said: "Look at you, it's like this again! The towels are just for wiping sweat in the field, not for the Lord of the Land! I can't wash them when they're dirty?" After saying these words, as usual, she took out some food from another handkerchief—sometimes white buns, sometimes corn dumplings—and handed them to him, saying slightly reproachfully: "You went up the mountain without taking a bite. You..." She smiled and turned into the vegetable garden with light steps. He only started to eat dry food when he watched her back disappear behind the cucumber stand. After eating the dry food, he picked up the hill-like bundle of green grass and ran towards the breeding room. At this time, wisps of blue cooking smoke rose from the village as usual; the aroma of food began to waft from the depths of the dense jujube forest.Rows of heads wrapped in white turbans were shaking in the cornfield on the Sichuan road.The corn seedlings that have just been hoed are greener and more juicy.Who was plowing the wheat fields on Naopan Mountain, and sang the heart-pounding Xintianyou with a good voice: Langewawa, the clouds chasing the clouds in the sky, who left a missing person... In the symphony of labor, he walked briskly along the way, carrying the grass into the yard of the breeding room.Then, padding with one hand and cutting with the other, he quickly shredded a bundle of hay, picked the shredded grass into the hut with a big fork, and then took the animals that hadn't come out of the mountain outside to scrub them. Dirt on the body.That carefulness is no less than a mother combing her daughter's hair. After finishing everything that should be done in the breeding room at this time, he lifted the sickle again, put the rope on his shoulder blades, and hurried up the mountain to get another grass—cutting alfalfa.This time he ran even more happily, because no matter what, he had to come back before lunch—when the animals came back from the mountain at noon, it would be the most stressful and busiest time in the breeding room. His life was getting more and more tense.Work hard during the day, and watch hard at night.Read political economy, calculus advanced mathematics.In addition to self-study English, I added a Japanese. Jiang Feng and Ma Ping became more and more disgusted with his aggressiveness.Once at lunch, the second-rate Ma Ping attacked him for being a ghost and stealing people—he was afraid that he wanted to join the party and become an official; Jiang Feng laughed out loud. He was so angry that he really wanted to go over and beat up Ma Ping's rascal.At this time, Su Ying, who was eating, pointed at Ma Ping with her chopsticks, and said in a joking tone: "Ma Ping, what you said is probably not in line with the 'revolutionary line in the proletarian stage'? It is still the turn of this kind of 'only pulling'." Can people who don’t look at the road join the party as an official? You have to look at the route first, and it doesn’t matter if the car is pulled or not! If the road is wrong, wouldn’t the car be pulled and given to capitalism?” Ma Ping giggled twice, and didn't take these words seriously, but Jiang Feng's face was like a needle-stick drama, one red and one white, and he walked out of the bad room with his job—it was this A "contemporary hero", attacking Yang Qidi as a person who "only pulls the cart and does not look at the road". She made a fuss about her! To thank her?no need.Yang Qidi knew that she didn't need his gratitude.Even if Jiang Feng and Ma Ping attacked someone she had never met before, she would also get them back. On such occasions his love for her was replaced by a deep respect.This made him even less courageous to confide in her.He was afraid that it would be vulgarity--if it were, it would hurt the beautiful statue his mind had fashioned, and destroy his own mind in which it rested. As he thought this way, he himself gradually calmed down the strong urge to express his love to her, and turned this passionate urge into a deep feeling.The process of his inner experience is like that of the earth during the orogenic period, when countless fiery magmas were erupted, and finally the violent eruption stopped, and solemn mountains and solemn seas appeared.He even felt that this kind of unspoken or unspoken love was more beautiful than the spoken one! Four On this day, Su Ying went to the city to deliver vegetables to the vegetable company, and brought back a strange young man.She introduced to everyone that this was the son of her father's friend, a classmate in their elementary school, who was now jumping in the queue in rural Shanxi, and passing by here on some business, and her father asked him to stop by to see her. The visitor is tall and strong;When you first arrive, your first impression is pretty good. On the morning of the guest's arrival, Su Ying asked Yang Qidi to help her build a bed in an empty room next to her.She explained that her classmate had a nervous breakdown, lived with others, and couldn't sleep at night. When Yang Qidi was helping her to make a bed, he didn't know why he said something like this: "Is he leaving tomorrow?" She looked up at him curiously, then smiled again and said: "No, I want to stay for a while. He said that he is very interested in the local customs and customs here, and wants to have a good taste of it." "What's his name?" "Oh, I forgot to tell you, it's called... Zhang Min." For some reason, she blushed suddenly. It was the arrival of Zhang Min that suddenly changed everything.After a while, he could see that the relationship between her and this person seemed to be deeper than that of ordinary classmates.They were so close and casual together that they were like brothers and sisters!Both of them are very beautiful.In his opinion, these beautiful features are somewhat similar!Their relationship is so unusual that maybe other people don't see it.He can see it!Which young people in love are not sensitive? Sometimes he observes carefully and feels that the relationship between them is close, but it seems a little subtle: it doesn't look like a classmate relationship, and it is difficult for him to be sure that it must be a love relationship.Not a love relationship?I hope not!Is it a classmate relationship?But it is true that they have a deeper relationship than their classmates!Are relatives?Cousins?nonsense!This is myself comforting myself boredly!People often hope that the facts that are unfavorable to them do not exist, but in the end it is often their own hope that they find that they do not exist! He was thinking wildly.He is in a lot of trouble! The new guest sleeps late at night, and sometimes the light stays on until dawn, which is very strange. I don't know if he forgot to turn off the light when he slept, or he was doing something else. He saw that Su Ying cared so much for her "classmate" (he had put these two words in quotation marks in his mind), and every morning, he would fry two eggs on the kerosene stove and bring them into the mysterious hut.During the day, sometimes she took him to help in the vegetable garden.Sometimes he carried the pickaxe by himself to work up the mountain with the commune members, and went out to herd sheep with the shepherds; moreover, he tied a white towel around his head, dressing himself like a local farmer! At noon on this day, it was swelteringly hot.Yang Qidi went to take a bath in a small river channel behind the village as usual - there is a small chest-deep pool in this place, surrounded by high cliffs, which can avoid people, and people in the village like to bathe here in summer. From a distance, he saw Zhang Min sitting under a big willow tree in front of him, as if he was reading a book; when he got closer, he heard that he was reading the English version of Andersen's fairy tale "The Ugly Duckling".Read aloud fluently, above his level.If he doesn't look up, he doesn't want to greet him.He and he naturally had an awkwardness. He looked up, and said with a smile: "I'm sorry, Xiaofang is taking a shower downstairs, and she asked me to block people here. You sit here for a while, she will probably be finished soon." what!Their relationship has reached this level!He felt that the sun above his head had fallen from the sky and landed on his head, and his head was about to explode with heat. He just said "I'll wash it at night", then turned around and hurried back. He didn't go back to the dormitory.He got off the road, crossed the small river, climbed up the hill opposite the village, and came to the old pear tree again.He sat down, then stood up again, lightly digging at the bark with his hands, staring absently at the rolling hills in the distance.The plateau under the scorching sun is hot and quiet.The hot air evaporates from the earth, shining unpredictable colors in the sunlight.A sense of emptiness and loneliness took possession of him.He turned his head and looked towards the village. The village was immersed in a siesta, and a naked child passed by someone's house on the village road, raising a cloud of white smoke.He suddenly saw Su Ying and Zhang Min walking back from the small river behind the village side by side.She seemed to be combing her hair and talking to Zhang Min. His legs felt limp as if someone had hit him hard with a stick.He sat on the ground along the tree trunk, covered his face with his hands, and a few hot tears flowed from between his fingers. Yang Qidi's hot heart, which was burning for love, went cold.He concluded that her love belonged to this dear guest.He is so childish.Only now did he coolly realize that the frenzy of his previous love was only one-sided.He forgot a basic common sense: love is a matter of two people! He then thought that he and Zhang Min couldn't compare in demeanor and temperament—he was "outcast", while Zhang Min, like Su Ying, was "big city type".He had previously lacked the self-knowledge to take these differences seriously.And the difference between him and Su Ying is only these?Her parents were both provincial and bureau-level cadres, while his parents were ordinary workers.Although her parents are now "unlucky" and overthrown as "capitalist roaders", he has a deep understanding of her parents through her. They are good people!But it doesn't mean that "good cadres" will be able to marry the families of "good workers"!Love can be said to be more complicated than politics!He regretted that he didn't think much about this before, and loved others without thinking, but he created this tragedy for himself. Love is deep, and the pain of losing love is also deep.His daily life, though superficially the same, was out of tune.He mowed the grass and cut his finger; when reading a foreign language, sometimes he would freeze on a sentence and couldn't read the rest of it.He beat his head and complained that he was too worthless! What made him even more distressed was that Su Ying's attitude towards him didn't seem to have changed at all. She still smiled warmly as before, helped him feed the pigs, and even sewed up the tattered clothes he put beside his pillow. It was folded neatly and placed in its original place. But he couldn't bear all of her.He has self-respect, and, from a moral point of view, he cannot disturb and destroy the happiness of others for his own happiness! He began to avoid her deliberately.Occasionally we have to meet, and we just say hello as usual.How surprised he was to see how she treated him.God, what are you surprised about? After mowing the grass in the morning, he no longer rested by the vegetable garden, and tried not to look into the vegetable garden as much as possible.He carried the grass back to the breeding room without resting, and then went back to get dry food by himself.Sometimes, he also forgot to go back to eat dry food, so he went up the mountain on an empty stomach to cut grass for the second time. One day, he was cutting grass in the breeding room by himself, when he suddenly saw her coming in through the gap in the yard, he quickly turned his face away, pretending not to see, and continued to cut grass with his head down. The flowered handkerchief wrapped with dry food was stretched out in front of him.He had to stop, without looking at her, and said: "I have already eaten." "Why are you doing this!" Her voice was a little hoarse, and the hand holding the dry food was a little trembling. He looked up, stunned.He saw her face twitching, and tears welled up in her eyes. She put the dry food on the stone bed beside him, turned around and walked away quickly. He stood there blankly for a while before opening the flowered handkerchief on the stone bed.Inside were three sheets of white flour pancakes (it did not appear to be made by Ma Ping) and two hard-boiled eggs; a pinch of fine white salt was wrapped in a piece of white paper—this was for eggs. Facing these things, he felt a sore nose: He couldn't get love from her, but she was such a good comrade!He blamed himself for being too indifferent to her in this paragraph!He said to her in his heart: he may only be able to treat her like this at the moment; he will also enter the venue for a while, and when his heart is completely calm, he will resume a normal gay relationship with her. At noon, he wanted to return the handkerchief to her.When he walked in front of them, he heard her talking to Zhang Min in the room, so he gave up the idea of ​​entering her room, and put his handkerchief on the wire in front of them. He was about to leave when Zhang Min came out of the house and poured the washing water, and asked him very affectionately: "have you eaten?" "Eat." He replied, and turned to look at him.A warm, pretty face; freshly washed hair, black and shiny in the noonday sun.He held the washbasin in his hand, and seemed to want to say something to him.For the sake of politeness, he felt that he should also say something, such as asking "Have you eaten?" or something.But for some reason, his body turned his back, and his feet started to move back—he felt that his body was directing his thoughts. He went back and lay on the bed, unable to close his eyes for a long time.He didn't want to think about Zhang Min, that is, he wanted to think about this person.Although he didn't speak directly to the person who caused him great pain, his intuition told him that he was better than himself in every aspect! He, Yang Qidi, is a sane person, and he cannot recognize him from the perspective of a normal person just because he has caused him pain.He felt that he was cultivated in all aspects, to a certain extent, he was similar to Su Ying, even more sophisticated and mature than Su Ying.He is a typical intellectual, but he is simple and unassuming, and he can easily mingle with ordinary people.He has not been here for a long time, and he has become familiar with all adults and children in the village, and the villagers call him "Old Zhang".And I am not a few years younger than him, but there is a word "small" in front of the word Yang. He suddenly wanted to know, what is the political orientation of this mysterious guest? What is his attitude towards various things happening in the current society?Since the death of the beloved Premier Zhou on January 8 and the Tiananmen Square incident on April 5, what a serious moment the motherland is facing!Although the people seem to be silent for a while, the ground fire is running underground!It is no exaggeration to say that China is now on the eve of a decisive battle between two fates!There was fierce fighting everywhere—even in their little group.Which camp does Zhang Min belong to?In these years and months, this is more important than anything. Fives That afternoon, only Zhang Min, Jiang Feng and him were left in the kitchen for dinner. Jiang Feng yelled at Zhang Min very affectionately and excitedly while he was putting rice into his mouth: "Ha, I re-learned the article "On the Total Dictatorship over the Bourgeoisie" again today. It's really profound! The strict logic is like seamless steel pipes. Some people want to find fault with the egg, and I can see it!" This "contemporary hero" only speaks loudly at Zhang Min and disdains to look at him.Jiang Feng, whose heart is smarter than a police dog, has already smelled out his deep love for Su Ying, and now is a good opportunity to use Zhang Min to ridicule him. Unexpectedly, after listening to him, Zhang Min swallowed a mouthful of food, thought for a while, and said: "However, I think that Marx and Lenin never thought that their theories were all seamless steel pipes..." Then, Zhang Min very familiarly quoted Lenin's and Ning's a lot of assertions on these issues, and compared Zhang Chunqiao's views on these issues in Zhang Chunqiao's article.Although he did not directly express his opinion on Zhang Chunqiao's article, the result of this comparison seems to be that Zhang Chunqiao's article is specifically criticizing Lenin. When Jiang Feng and Zhang Min were talking, although he didn't look at the two people who were discussing the issue, he kept listening carefully.He admired and admired Zhang Min in his heart for turning the "seamless steel pipe" that Jiang Feng called into a "grass sieve" full of holes.If Su Ying said these words to Jiang Feng, Yang Qidi would not only be secretly happy in his heart, but would definitely laugh out loud. He couldn't help but glanced at Jiang Feng, seeing that his slender face darkened. Just as he was about to look away from that face, Jiang Feng smiled.This time it was for him. "Qidi is an expert in political economy in our group. Xiao Yang, do you agree with Comrade Zhang Min's point of view?" The vile thing!Where is this discussing the problem?He was obviously preparing to provoke a spiritual duel between him and Zhang Min!And for a bloodthirsty person, this kind of duel is far more bloody than a physical duel! He understood what Jiang Feng meant at the moment—that meant: Usually, your Yang Qidi's views are probably more right than Zhang Min's? !But not today, right?He stole your love, why don't you vent something now? Jiang Feng concluded that he would improve Zhang Min and be very vicious, but he was wrong.An upright person will not slander the truth for his own grievances, he has not yet fallen to this level.It's not just that - when a small group of national scum tramples on the country, he should have a love that is deeper and higher than personal love - this is love for the motherland.At this point, he and Zhang Min have a common love again, just as they love Su Ying together.That common love brought him pain, and this common love brought him comfort. He glanced at Zhang Min who was washing the dishes.Seen from behind, those broad shoulders really look like his brother who died of illness in his early years.Then he thought of the scene when he and his eldest brother had a dispute over eating a piece of candy when they were children.He wondered how he could remember these dead people and things at this time. He turned his head to look at Jiang Feng, who was still smiling at him, as if he opened his mouth to shoot a poisonous bomb of language to knock down the person who was washing the dishes. His bullet came out, and instead of flying towards Zhang Min, it shot straight towards Jiang Feng: "I'm not an expert in political economy, but Zhang Chunqiao's articles can still be read. Yes, some people's theories are 'smarter' than Lenin's, one is in the sky, and the other is underground, but this 'smart' may one day will fall from the sky, into the part of the world that you know!" "You're swearing at people with what Lu Xun said about the Kuomintang!" Jiang Feng shouted sharply. He ignored him, and poured a little bit of residual soup on the bottom of the bowl out of the door, and then he also went out. As for how surprised Zhang Min looked at him, and how sad Jiang Feng's face was, he didn't see it . He put his rice bowl in the dormitory, and for some reason, he was very emotional.It seems that I can't read the book in the evening.He wanted to make an exception and go for a walk after dinner. He walked out of the courtyard gate, off the road, waded across the small river, and climbed up the hillside opposite the village. He didn't go down to the old pear tree on the top of the mountain.He sat down on a piece of grass halfway up the hillside, and the sweetness of the grass and the aroma of wild flowers mixed together, tangy and intoxicating.He picked up a grass stalk and put it in the corner of his mouth, leaning back on the grass slope, looking at the nearby village and the distant mountains. The sun set in the mountains to the west, and the sky was filled with red sunset glow.很快，满天飞霞又都消失了。大地渐渐由透明的桔黄变成了一片混浊的暗灰。 暮色苍茫中，归宿的羊群和蹦跳着欢迎它们到来的吃奶羔子，热烈而亲切地呼应着。孩子们在村道上，热烈迎接收工回来的父母亲。人和牲畜用不同的语言抒发着团聚折喜悦。 村子里弥漫着一种亲切愉快而又十分和谐的气氛。 他出神地看着这一切。身体躺在柔软的草地上，十分舒服，舒服得令人觉得自己的身体已经不存在，而是和整个大地融化在一起了。 凉爽的晚风吹散了村子上空浮动的炊烟。枣林墨绿的浓荫中，高低错落地闪烁着星星点点的灯火。母亲们开始拖音拉调地呼叫爱串门子的娃娃回家睡觉。一阵骚动后，村子里静了下来，谁家的狗百无聊赖地叫了几声。接着，又有一只糊涂的公鸡乱啼一阵。枣林深处闪烁的灯火渐渐地熄灭了。村庄沉浸在一种神秘的静谧之中。同时，小河的喧哗声高涨起来。 月亮升起来了，在几片白云中飞快穿过。奶白色的月光，照出了庄稼和树木的浓绿，照出了新翻过的麦田的米黄颜色。 高山峻岭肃立着，像是一些弯腰弓背的老人在思索着什么。 一种对祖国大地以及和这大地息息相连的劳动和生活的爱，由这爱而激起的汹涌澍湃的热情，在杨启迪的胸膛里鼓荡起来。他想起很多古人和现代人，想想无数没有在大地上留下姓名的战士，把自己的头颅和一腔血献给了这块土地。他们之中有的只在这个世界上存在过十几年头，没穿过一件好衣服，没吃过一顿好饭，没有过甜蜜的爱情生活，而把所有的爱情都献给祖国的吗？他从小就立下那么坚定的志愿，要为祖国献出自己的一切，无愧地活着，在生活的道路上踩下自己坚定的志愿，要为祖国献出自己的一切，无愧地活着，在生活的道路上踩下自己坚实的脚印。可是现在，他怎能为了得不到一个人的爱而消沉下去呢？有什么可苦恼的？为什么一定要苏莹做自己的爱人？原来纯洁的同志关系不也很好吗！ 没有任何理由去妒忌张民。妒忌这种玩艺儿是最卑鄙的。振作起来吧，重新热烈地投入到生活中去吧，赶快把自己的失魂落魄回到自己的身体里来吧！ 他的思绪像长河一样奔流。尽管思索的问题并不都很连贯，但结论很明确地得出来了。 他轻快地从草地上跳起来，伸了伸胳膊腿，嘴里哼起了文化革命前他所喜爱的歌曲《蓝蓝的天上白云飘》，一路小跑着下了山坡，过了河，上了公路。 他没有回宿舍去。他穿过寂静的村巷，来到饲养室。 槽头上一排牲口纷纷扬起头，发出各种亲昵的咴叫声，热烈地欢迎他的到来。 他拿起草筛子，很快给它们添了一遍夜草。他又搂住那个调皮的小驴驹，用自己热烫烫的脸颊亲昵地摩擦它的毛茸茸的小脑袋；然后便拿起镰刀和绳索，扯开大步，踏着银灿灿的月光，向对面山坡上的苜蓿地走去。 他一上草地畔，就把上衣脱下来扔到一边，猫下腰，飞快地割起来。 月亮升高了。全村的公鸡亮开嗓门，激昂地开始了第一轮大合唱…… six 头天晚上很折腾了一些时候的他，现在呼呼地入睡了。多少日子来，他还没有睡这这样的午觉。 他做起了恶梦，梦见他在打仗，炸弹爆炸，子弹呼啸，天崩地裂…… 他惊醒了，猛地坐起来。窗户纸黑乎乎的，外面正在下着大暴雨。 他跳下床，打开门，风声，雨声，雷声，山洪声，立即灌进屋子来，震得他耳朵发麻。雨帘遮住了视线，大地上的一切都消失了。 他想起了那些牲口。这样大的暴雨，饲养室的顶棚会不会漏水？ 他从墙上摘下一顶草帽扣在头上，冲出了门；刚出门，又把草帽扔回了屋子（戴上啥事也不顶）。 他撒开腿，闭着眼睛，在走熟了的山路上跳跳蹦蹦地跑着，小路旁边通向菜园的水渠里，灌满了山上流下来的洪水，正滔滔地奔涌着。他正跑着，突然听见旁边有人叫他的名字。 他吓了一大跳，赶忙弯下腰看，原来是苏莹——她正在坐在水渠里，用自己的身体把水渠里的洪水阻挡到崖坎下去，水流冲击着她。她两只手揪着渠沿上的草丛。她喊：“快到崖下把我的铁锨拿上来！真该死！我的铁锨掉下去了！” 他不管崖高低，一纵身跳下去。真险，脚片子离锨刃只差几寸远！他吐了一下舌头，赶忙把锨抓起，从前崖衅上爬上水渠，飞一般在渠岸上豁开一道口子，喊：“你起来吧！” 她跟着水过来了，浑身上下全是泥，泥脸上一双黑眼睛汪着泪水，说： 我来迟了！几畦子包心菜全完了，全叫黄汤灌了……你是去饲养室的吧？你……快去吧！ " “你……回去换身干衣服，小心着凉！”他听见自己的声调有点硬。他很快转身向饲养室奔去。 他心急火燎地冲进饲养室的院子。他从石槽子翻进了棚圈，摸了一把脸，仰头看顶棚，糟糕！棚角漏水了。 他赶忙从牛马中挤出来，顺棚角的一棵老椿树爬上棚顶。 密集的雨点在棚顶的青石板上溅起一片白茫茫的水雾。 他找到了漏水的窟窿眼，可是愣住了：拿什么堵塞呢？他上来得太匆忙了，什么东西都没带！焦急慌忙中，他把自己上衣脱下来，揉成一团，塞在窟窿眼上！ 可是，窟窿眼还没塞住。不过，只差一点了。他又把长裤脱下来，塞了进去。仔细看看，这下塞好了。 暴雨来得猛，收煞得也快。大暴雨很快变成了稀疏的细雨，雷声滚到了远方的天边，只有村子下边河道里的山洪怒吼着。他抬头望望，远山还在雨雾迷蒙之中，近山已经露出了面目：庄稼和树木青翠碧绿；米黄色的土地变成了一片褐色。对面苜蓿地畔上塌了一堆土，露出的干土，像黄布上的一块白疵点。 就在这时候，他听见从河道里传来片嘈杂的人声，夹尖锐的惊叫声、呐喊声，叫人毛骨悚然。 What happened? 他赶忙把锨搁进草房，拔腿向河道里跑去。 他远远地看见河畔上站了许多人，都朝河对岸扬着手，呼喊着什么。河道里，山洪供一条咆哮的泥龙向下游奔窜而去，波浪像起伏的丘陵；间或，有一棵连根带梢的大树，在波山浪谷中时隐时现。 河对面的小山沟里，山洪也在飞卷着往外奔涌，在沟口的崖岔上腾起来，在空中划了一道弧线，注入到大河的洪波巨浪中。 他来到河畔上，一切都明白了。 他看见，在对岸大河与小可的汇流处，有一块小小的三角洲，那上面站着向只羊和一个人。两道河的水都在上涨着，眼看就要吞没了他们。而在他们的上边，却是悬崖峭壁！他继而看见，在三角洲上边的悬崖上，有一个土台子，上面竟然挤了一群羊！他猜测是那牧羊人把羊人把羊一只一只扛上去的。 他的猜测没错！他看见那人又扛起一只羊，往土台子上送。 河水在继续上涨着，远远看起来，那个小三角洲已经不存在了。 “别管羊了！别管羊了！” “赶快往上走嘛！哎哟哟……” 人们在紧张地向对岸呼喊着。但那人继续往上扛羊。 杨启庙和大家一样紧张地注视着这令人窒息的一幕，对那个把集体财产看得比自己的命还要紧的人，从心里升起一股敬意。Who is he?是高虎他爸？是海泉大伯？各生产队所有拦羊的人都是些老汉，而老汉哪有那么大的轻把一群羊一个个扛上那个土台子呢？ 他打问周围的人，才知道：那是张民！ 原来，张民好奇，想学拦羊，已经跟海接泉大伯出了几次坡。今天是他央求让他一个人去试试的。 当他知道这是张民的时候，眼光赶忙在人群中搜寻起苏莹来了。 看见了！她正站在河边上，左手紧捏着，右手似乎是在掠那披散着的头发——实际上是把一绺头发抓在手中揪着。 身子摇摇晃晃，稍微一斜，就要跌进河里，她旁边站着老支书。老汉下意识地两臂张开，便要去抱河对岸那个遇险的人。 他身板僵硬，山羊胡子上挂着雨水珠。 江风突然来了，黄油布伞下的一张脸显出很着急的样子，说：“到处找你们找不见！今儿个下雨不能出工，咱几个利用这时间，一块学习'七一'社论……” “你看看河对面！”他很气愤地说。 江风没看，说：“我知道。张民这小子逞能！叫他再能！” “你说这话都不嫌害臊！” 他真想给那瘦长的脸唾一口，突然听见苏莹“啊”地尖叫了一声，接着所有的人都惊叫起来。 他赶忙朝对岸望去。小三角洲消失了。羊在土台子上面咩咩地叫唤着。张民已经不见了。 他的脊背一阵冰凉。但很快又看见，落水的张民正抓着崖上的一棵小榆树，拼命往土台子上爬。眼看要上去了，又沉了下去；又上来了，接着又沉下去了……显然他已经精疲力竭，已经没力气攀上这个离水面几尺高的土塄坎了！ 现在已经看不见他的身子了，只有那棵小榆树还在猛烈地摇晃，告诉人们他的两只手还抓着它！河这岸的人有的惊叫，有的无意识地在河岸上狂奔。苏莹脸色鳅白，拼命地盯着对岸，表现出撕心裂胆的痛苦！也许用不了几分钟，那双渴望活命的手就会连根拔出那棵小榆树，而被洪波巨浪卷走！ 他看着这一切，一个念头在脑子里闪电一般划过。他飞快地向河上游奔跑而去。他全身的肌肉紧紧地收缩在一起，飞奔着的两条腿像腾云驾雾一般轻盈。他一边奔跑，一边用手背揩着脸颊上的热泪。在这一刹那间，他感到一种无可名状的激动。 他在河上游的一个小湾里，毫不犹豫地投身于狂涛巨流之中。 曾经在中学里得过两项游泳冠军的他，在这头盖脑的洪水中，觉得自己像狂风中的一片树叶一样失去了自控能力。 但他没有一下子被击昏，他喝了几口黄泥糊子，鼻根一阵辣疼，但神志还清醒。他意识到他的状况后，产生了搏斗的力量。他摸了一把泥脸，发现自己已经到了中水线上。 他一下子被抛上浪尖，又一下子跌到了深渊。在这一抛一掷的间隙中，他好像感觉到身体和水面有一个极短暂的脱离。就在这闪电般的间隙中，他比这间隙更快地调整了自己的身体，使能够到达目的地。此刻，一切对过去的记忆都消失了，所有的思想都被抽象到了一个短句里：救活他！ 真幸运，他现在已经对面大小河交汇的旋水湾里了，这样就好了，他不会再被弄到中水线上去。 现在，他唯一的想法是，在跟着旋水擦过张民身边的时候，抓住个什么东西，使自己停下来，然后再把他托到土台子上去。 It failed three times.他已经疲乏到了极点。第四次旋过来时，他就着水势，猛然间抓住一块岩石角，停下了。喜悦使他的身子一阵颤栗，竟然把右腿弄得痉挛了。他拼命使自己镇定下来，用轻在水里蹬直腿，几乎把腿上的血管都绷断了。 好不容易才恢复了正常，于是他一手抓着岩角，一手扶住那个垂死的人，使出全身的力气往上推。他觉得嘴里有一股血腥的威味——大概是牙齿把嘴唇咬破了。 昏昏沉沉的张民终于被的推上了土台了，他自己却像一滩稀泥一样，“扑通”一声落入水中。 他在水里挣扎着，昏昏沉沉，随波逐流。 一个偶然的机会，旋水又把他带到了刚才落水的地方。他伸出两只手，免强抓住了张民刚才抓过的那棵小榆树。但他和张民刚才一样，已经无力攀上那个土塄坎了。他把活的希望带给了他，却把死亡的危脸抓在了自己的手里！ 小河里的水首行落下了。大河里的主流猛烈地冲进旋水湾。水的冲出减弱了身体的力量，却又加重了身体的重量。小榆树的根终于被那渴望活命的手从泥土里拨了出来，接着，一个黄土丘似的浪头扑过来，人和树一起被那无情的洪水吞没了…… seven 杨启迪没有死。他在洪水里漂荡了几十里路，在县城附近被捞河柴的社中搭救了。 他现在躺在县医院的病床上。 他没受什么伤。除感到身体有些虚弱外，并没有什么其它不好的感觉。 他仰靠在雪白的床铺上，像刚分娩过的产妇那般宁静。他感到自己很幸福——救活了一个人，自己也活着。 晨光染红了窗户纸。不久，一缕灿烂的阳光就从窗玻璃中射进来，他奋然向空中伸开双臂，做了一个朗诵式的动作。 真的，他真想作一首诗，赞美生命！ 就在这里，房门开了，一缕阳光拥进来一个人。 啊，是苏莹！乌黑的剪发，白嫩的脸盘，一般洗得变灰了的蓝制服，肩胛上斜挂着那个用旧了的黄书包。他看见她的手无力地扶着门框，泪水在脸上刷刷地淌着。 “我什么事也没有！”他首先对她说。 “真……的？”她声音颤抖着问，向床边走来。 “张民怎样？”他问。 “不要紧。你受伤没有？”她的眼光急切地在他的脸上扫视着。 “没。你怎知道我在这里？” 她把挎包放在床边，继续看他的脸，说： “昨天晚上，我们顺水寻下来，直到天明，才问讯到你被救上来了。早上水还大，老支书和村里的人过不来，我一个人跑到水文站，央求人家把我从吊斗里送过来的……” 她说着，泪水又一次从眼睛里涌出来了。 他为了安慰她，笑着说： “你看我不是很好吗？龙王爷硬请我到水晶宫去，去还是不去？左思左想，终究撂不下咱的土山沟！” 他的话把她逗乐了。 他又笑说：“你刚进门时，我正准备作诗哩！多时没写诗，现在激情来了。” 他说到这里时，她突然“噢”了一声，急忙在黄挎包里翻搅起来。 她翻出了一个棕色布硬面的笔记本，对他说： “这个送给你！本来昨天下午就要送你的，想不到发生了那么可怕的事！” 她把笔记本双手送到他面前。 他疑惑地看看她，接过了本子。 他翻开本子的硬皮，一行触目的大字跳进了眼帘：天安门广场诗抄。 他激动地翻着纸页。他曾看过向着传抄的天安门诗词，并且一个人在山沟里大声诵读过。想不到现在意然得到这么厚厚的一本！ “我知道你一定喜欢的……”她望着兴奋的他，说。 他抬起头，激动地问：“哪来的？” 她诡秘地一笑，然后缓缓地斜说起始未来。