Chapter 125 summer

I am so excited for my beloved! ——Guo Moruo: "Coal in the Furnace" one Yang Qidi loves Su Ying.However, he is still secretly in love in his heart.Although he was in his twenties, he was rough and manly, but he was a very shy person.He loves her passionately, but has no courage to reveal the secret in his heart.Like most young people in first love, he had a particularly strong desire to see her and talk to her more than usual in recent days.But once we met, his mouth was as stupid as if he had been kicked by a donkey's hoof, and he couldn't even hear the voice speaking to her clearly—and although he was a good speaker in the past, he was never so stupid that he could speak ordinary words Can't say it!Whenever this time, he hurried away from her.I'm afraid that his clumsiness will leave a bad impression on her, or cause her some other bad suspicions.Of course, if she suspected that he loved her, that would be all he had in mind.Really, he sometimes wonders: Has she noticed these secrets in his heart recently?She is a clever person!When he moved her to look at him later, there seemed to be something more meaningful in those beautiful eyes.What does that mean?He couldn't tell either.However, he thought again, this might be an illusion of his own!Because he felt that when he looked at him, he was as gay and candid as in the past, and it didn't necessarily have any other "meanings".It's just that he has "meaning"!

He really couldn't hold back the urge to express his love to her, he thought: as long as he expresses his love to her, Haoju will reject him even within a second!This is also good, his soul may be quiet, as before, eating normally, sleeping normally, living normally-and this is also a kind of happiness. Whether Su Ying was aware of his infatuation, he didn't know, but Zu Jiangfeng obviously saw it.Yang Qidi saw this from his weird smile.In fact, Jiang Feng is definitely not now, but has been looking at his relationship with Su Ying in this way for a long time... although he has no words to express it.Before he had such feelings for Su Ying, he didn't take Jiang Feng's smile seriously at all.Even now, Jiang Zuchang's attitude can only make him and Su Ying closer.In the past few years, the provincial culture and health system went down to this remote mountain village on the Loess Plateau. Some of the educated youth groups left as soldiers, some recruited workers, and some were recommended to go to college. Now there are only four of them left.The wind of grouping the Yangtze River did not go away because he was an "advanced model" of educated youth in the area, and recently "accepted" "new". Politically, he was really hot, so he repeatedly vowed to "take root in the countryside for a lifetime", and he often extended that : "Chairman Mao succeeded in making the revolution in the countryside." The other boy, Ma Ping, stayed because of personal reasons-he was sent to labor camp for stealing in middle school, and no one dared to take him.The reason why Su Ying couldn't leave was because of her family - her parents were "capitalist roaders".As for him, it was because of other people's reasons - it was his turn to leave several times, and he gave up the opportunity to a classmate who was more difficult than him.In addition, he himself has a deeper affection for the countryside than other classmates—he lived in the countryside with his grandfather and grandmother since he was a child, and he came to the provincial capital to become the father of a printing worker until the two old people died of illness when he was in high school. Because of this, I am used to and like rural life.Although he also wants to go back to the city to find a job he is more willing to do, but staying in the countryside for an extra year or two is not as distressing as some people.In Ma Ping's words, he is basically a "bump".He admits it.Otherwise, since he is such a big man, why doesn't he dare to express his love to a girl he likes?The four of them left behind often had various frictions, some in politics, some in academics, and some in life.Su Ying grows vegetables in the vegetable garden of the brigade, and he works as a breeder in the first team.Ma Ping claimed that "there is something wrong with his waist", and he did not go up the mountain four times a year, and only cooked for four people, earning half a labor point.As for Jiang Feng, he spends almost three quarters of the year holding various meetings outside.

On this day, Jiang Feng came back from a meeting in the area. During the meal, he organized three team members to arrange: one person wrote an article "Happy to suppress the counter-revolutionary incident in Tiananmen Square" and said it would be posted on the blackboard newspaper by the road.He said that several months had passed since the incident, and their educated youth group hadn't made a public statement on this matter yet!He checked and said that his "line awareness is low"; although his personal understanding is clear, he did not mobilize the other three people in the group to do some work, and now he needs to "make up lessons".

"I won't write." Su Ying was the first to say. "Why?" Jiang Feng asked. "You know why," she replied. "I don't think you should keep such a political account for yourself!" Jiang Feng was very unhappy.Then, he turned his head and said, "Qidi, don't you like to write poems? Just give us a poem!" Su Ying glanced at Qidi.In fact, there was no need to glance at it, he had already prepared the answer.He said, "Can I still write poetry? If I could write poetry, I would have posted it on Tiananmen Square long ago! Why are you staring at me? People have suppressed me!"

"Eat!" Ma Ping, who had never been interested in such political quarrels, yelled as he knocked the iron spoon on the edge of the pot. "You have to write too!" Jiang Feng turned to Ma Ping with some indignation. "I'll write? I'll write. Bring me a newspaper, and I'll copy a few passages for you." Ma Ping replied casually.None of the four said anything, and each ate his own meal.That's how they are, they quarrel when they say it, and stop when they say it.Because both parties in the quarrel know that no one will convince the other even if they quarrel for three days and three nights.

After lunch, Jiang Feng dragged Ma Ping to school to write a "column". The courtyard is very quiet.Yang Qidi walked around under the old locust tree in the corner of the courtyard alone.The sun was scorching hot.On the poplar trees along the Yichuan Road, Zhizhi was scrambling to be the first to make noise, which made him very upset.In fact, it wasn't Cicada that upset him. He turned around, stood down and glanced at the room on the side, and then walked over.As he walked, he raised his footsteps hesitantly and then lowered them worryingly, as if something dangerous was buried on the ground.

He finally stood in front of Su Ying's door.He raised his right hand and stayed in the air for a full minute before landing on the door.He immediately heard his heart beating louder than knocking on the door. No one answered.However, the door opened. strangeness!The house was empty.He was taken aback.Did he push the door open?He remembered that he did not push the door, so who opened the door?His eyes quickly looked around the room one by one: the table, the bench, the bed, the stove... but there was no one there!Ah, what's going on here?He clearly saw her enter the house and never come out...

Not seeing her, his heartbeat returned to its normal rate.However, he suddenly jumped up again—because at this moment, behind the opened door, suddenly appeared the kind and beautiful face that he longed to see.The face was wet with some drops of water, smiling, and looking at him mischievously, his eyes seemed to say: You fool!If no one!Will the door open by itself? Her sudden appearance, like a bright light, dazzled him.He was so dazed that he didn't see her face clearly at all, he only vaguely saw some crystal drops of water rolling in front of his eyes, and realized in his mind that she was probably washing her face behind the door.

He didn't know how he got into the house, only that his walking posture was unbalanced, and even his right leg was a little limp. "Sit down." She said while putting on a towel with her back to him. "Yeah." "Drink water?" She turned and looked at him and asked. "Yeah." "Look at you! Do you want to drink or not?" "Ah! Well... drink it. I'm not thirsty!" He sat on the stool at the table.Although I didn't look at her face, I felt that she was smiling all the time.He panicked even more, rubbing his hands on his knees at a loss; he kept moving his body, not knowing how to sit properly.

A steamy water glass was brought to him.He looked at it and took a sip: it was sweet with sugar added.The water glass is too hot!It's almost like his face is hot.Then, the whole body began to be hot, and even the two feet were hot and swollen. He stood up hastily.Stand up and don't know what to do.He had come to talk to her—that is, to be in love!But he didn't know what to say, what to say.ah!First of all, I don't know what to say in the first sentence! He moved her and seemed to be waiting for him to say something, so he didn't speak, he pursed his lips and smiled, and casually pulled a ball of wool from the bed and wrapped it up.

He stood there, not knowing whether to go or stay.Embarrassed, he hurried to look at the world map on the wall.Look down country by country.Panicked, Asia sees Africa, from Africa sees Europe, and from Europe sees North and South America. Five minutes have passed, and more than a hundred countries on seven continents have read it, but I haven't thought of the first sentence!He then looked from the countries of Asia: China, Seidian, Nepal, India, Pakistan... When he saw Indonesia in the ocean from the land, he finally remembered the opening sentence.His lips trembled a few times, and he said: "Xiao Su, there are so many islands in Indonesia! No wonder, it is called the country of a thousand islands!" "What?" The other party obviously didn't hear clearly. "The... country of Thousand Islands!" Indeed, he also knew that he didn't hear clearly.Because he didn't make it clear--the devil knows what his tongue is messing with in his mouth! He turned around and fell down on the table, picked up a dip pen and wrote these words on a piece of white paper.She put a ball of thread and came over to stand beside him, watching him write, he immediately panicked, the pen was trembling in his hand, and after writing four words, a stream of ink ideas dripped on the paper, which really looked like the illustrated "A Thousand Islands" country"! After she saw him finish writing, she leaned forward and back with a smile.She took the dip pen from him and scratched a few times under the word "island". He hurriedly lowered his head to see what she was doing.It doesn't matter if you don't read it, but you are shocked when you see it: it turns out that in his panic, he wrote the word "island" as the word "bird"! A surge of hot blood rushed to his head!He quickly put his right hand on the table so that his unbalanced body would not lean down, and said inexplicably: "Our pigs haven't been fed yet!" Before she could react to this sentence, he hurriedly added: "I have to feed the pigs!" He walked away as if escaping some disaster. "Wait a minute!" The corner of his clothes was pulled.He turned around, saw her take out two tomatoes from the drawer of the table, handed them to him, and heard her say: "The vegetable garden is selling tomatoes for the first time today, and I bought a few catties. New varieties, try it and see if it's sweet or not!" He clumsily held two ripe tomatoes with his hands, and they flew away. rushed out of the house.He didn't feed the pig - let it be hungry for a while!He couldn't care less about feeding them now.He left the gate of the courtyard, got off the road, crossed the small river in the middle school, and climbed up the hill opposite the village in one breath.He was sweating profusely and sat under an old pear tree on the top of the mountain. He took off his shirt and threw it aside. He held a tomato in one hand and looked at it from side to side; smelled it with his nose; wipe.Then, for some unknown reason, he suddenly jumped up again, holding two tomatoes in his bare arms, dancing enthusiastically around the pear tree (it’s hard to say it’s a dance), and didn’t stop until a bare tree root tripped him. this crazy action.He laughed and got up from the ground, he was ashamed of his behavior, his face was flushed, and he hurriedly looked around to see if there was anyone.no one!It was lunch time, and all the people who worked on the mountain went home to eat. He shook his head in embarrassment, and sat under the pear tree in the old village again, squinting his eyes, looking at the thick green plateau in the dog days, and at the floating white clouds in the blue sky.Ah, what a wonderful world!He wiped off the dirt on the tomatoes and remembered what Su Ying had just said to him.He carefully put a small piece on each of the two tomatoes, chewed and tasted, and muttered to her in the room down the mountain: "It's so sweet..." Three Although Yang Qidi mustered up his courage again and again to pour out his passionate love to Su Ying, but until now he has not been able to clearly tell her a word about his love for her.However, even though he has not yet been able to clearly win her love, the sweetness of those two tomatoes has remained in his heart forever.He grows so big.I have eaten tomatoes many times, and it seems that this time I realized that tomatoes are so delicious!He ate the skins of the two tomatoes, but kept the flesh, washed the seeds in the small river, dried them, wrapped them in white paper, and put them in his box. He loves poetry. , couldn't help but Shixing thought: If one day, the seeds of love can finally be sown into his heart, he will sow these two tomato seeds into the land of his beloved motherland—live in her arms All the happy fruits of your sons and daughters are all brought up by those plump breasts! Pure love will cultivate people's hearts better; make people love life and labor more.Yang Qidi has stricter requirements on himself.He felt that this strict request was made by Su Ying to himself.He is the breeder of the production team.Every morning, when the members and classmates were still sleeping, he went up the mountain in the dark to mow grass for the animals.When the members of the commune started work early in the morning, his grass was mowed back.Look how big a bale of grass he is carrying!Seen from the back, only two legs under a pile of grass can be seen taking small steps!His first and last rest on the road is always by the vegetable garden at the head of the village—because she works here. Every morning, when he carried the hill-like bales of grass down from the mountain and put them on the big bluestone by the side of the vegetable garden, Good Limit came to work with a hoe on his shoulders.Her jet-black cropped hair was wrapped in a snow-white towel; she was dressed in a gray-washed blue uniform with patches on her knees.His very white and thin face was a little reddened by the scorching sun, like an autumn apple after its first frost.A pair of eyes are always shining like dewdrops on the blades of grass in the morning.In nature, she is like a magnolia tree, pure and beautiful yet simple and dignified.When she came to him, she saw the black sweat on his face, so she took off the white towel covering her head and handed it to him.He giggled and said, "I have." He took out his dirty little handkerchief.She smiled and shouted: "Ah! That handkerchief of yours can make sweat flush into the creek! Here!" The towel was thrown on his head.He hesitated to use the snow-white towel to wipe his black and sweaty face, and a fragrant soap smell rushed straight to his nose.For some reason, he felt that tomato tasted like this.After wiping off his sweat, he looked at the sweat-stained towel and returned it to her in embarrassment.She snatched it from him, wrapped it around the handle of the hoe, and said: "Look at you, it's like this again! The towels are just for wiping sweat in the field, not for the Lord of the Land! I can't wash them when they're dirty?" After saying these words, as usual, she took out some food from another handkerchief—sometimes steamed buns, sometimes corn dumplings—and handed them to him, saying slightly reproachfully: "You don't even eat a bite of food. , and went up the mountain. You..." She smiled and turned into the vegetable garden with light steps. He only started to eat dry food when he watched her back disappear behind the cucumber stand.After eating the dry food, he picked up the hill-like bundle of green grass and ran towards the breeding room.At this time, wisps of blue cooking smoke rose from the village as usual; the aroma of food began to waft from the depths of the dense jujube forest.Rows of heads wrapped in white turbans were shaking in the cornfield on the Sichuan road.The corn seedlings that have just been hoed are greener and more juicy.Who was plowing the wheat fields on Naopan Mountain, and sang the heart-pounding Xintianyou with a good voice: Langewawa, the clouds chasing the clouds in the sky, who left a missing person... In the symphony of labor, he walked briskly along the way, carrying the grass into the yard of the breeding room.Then, padding with one hand and cutting with the other, he quickly shredded a bundle of hay, picked the shredded grass into the hut with a big fork, and then took the animals that hadn't come out of the mountain outside to scrub them. Dirt on the body.That carefulness is no less than a mother combing her daughter's hair. After finishing everything that should be done in the breeding room at this time, he lifted the sickle again, put the rope on his shoulder blades, and hurried up the mountain to get another grass—cutting alfalfa.This time he ran more happily, because he had to be back before lunch anyway— When the animals come back from the mountain at noon, it will be the most tense and busiest time in the breeding room.His life was getting more and more tense.Work hard during the day, and watch hard at night.Read political economy, calculus advanced mathematics.In addition to self-study English, I added a Japanese.Jiang Feng and Ma Ping became more and more disgusted with his aggressiveness.Once at lunch, the second-rate Ma Ping attacked him for being a ghost and stealing people—he was afraid that he wanted to join the party and become an official; Jiang Feng laughed out loud. He was so angry that he really wanted to go over and beat up Ma Ping's rascal.At this time, Su Ying, who was eating, pointed at Ma Ping with her chopsticks, and said in a joking tone: "Ma Ping, what you said is probably not in line with the 'revolutionary line in the proletarian stage'? It is still the turn of this kind of 'only pulling'." Can people who don’t look at the road join the party as an official? You have to look at the route first, and it doesn’t matter if the car is pulled or not! If the road is wrong, wouldn’t the car be pulled and given to capitalism?” Ma Ping giggled twice, and didn't take these words seriously, but Jiang Feng's face was like a needle play, one red and one white, and he walked out of the bad room with his job bowl—— It is this "contemporary hero" who attacked Yang Qidi as a person who "only pulls the cart and does not look at the road". She made a fuss about her! To thank her?no need.Yang Qidi knew that she didn't need his gratitude.Even if Jiang Feng and Ma Ping attacked someone she had never met before, she would also get them back.On such occasions his love for her was replaced by a deep respect.This made him even less courageous to confide in her.He was afraid that it would be vulgarity--if it were, it would hurt the beautiful statue his mind had fashioned, and destroy his own mind in which it rested. As he thought this way, he himself gradually calmed down the strong urge to express his love to her, and turned this passionate urge into a deep feeling.The process of his inner experience is like that of the earth during the orogenic period, when countless fiery magmas were erupted, and finally the violent eruption stopped, and solemn mountains and solemn seas appeared.He even felt that this kind of unspoken or unspoken love was more beautiful than the spoken one! On this day, Su Ying went to the city to deliver vegetables to the vegetable company, and brought back a strange young man.She introduced to everyone that this was the son of her father's friend, a classmate in their elementary school, who was now jumping in the queue in rural Shanxi, and passing by here on some business, and her father asked him to stop by to see her.The visitor is tall and strong;When you first arrive, your first impression is pretty good. On the morning of the guest's arrival, Su Ying asked Yang Qidi to help her build a bed in an empty room next to her.She explained that her classmate had a nervous breakdown, lived with others, and couldn't sleep at night.When Yang Qidi was helping her to make a bed, he didn't know why he said something like this: "Is he leaving tomorrow?" She looked up at him curiously, then smiled again and said: "No, he will stay for a while, he said that he is very interested in the local customs and customs here, and wants to savor it." "What's his name?" "Oh, I forgot to tell you, his name is... Zhang Min. "For some reason, her face turned red all of a sudden.It was the arrival of Zhang Min that suddenly changed everything.After a while, he could see that the relationship between her and this person seemed to be deeper than that of ordinary classmates.They were so close and casual together that they were like brothers and sisters!Both of them are very beautiful.In his opinion, these beautiful features are somewhat similar!Their relationship is so unusual that maybe other people don't see it.He can see it!Which young people in love are not sensitive? Sometimes he observes carefully and feels that the relationship between them is close, but it seems a little subtle: it doesn't look like a classmate relationship, and it is difficult for him to be sure that it must be a love relationship.Not a love relationship?I hope not!Is it a classmate relationship?But it is true that they have a deeper relationship than their classmates!Are relatives?Cousins?nonsense!This is myself comforting myself boredly!People often hope that the facts that are unfavorable to them do not exist, but in the end it is often their own hope that they find that they do not exist! He was thinking wildly.He is in a lot of trouble! The new guest sleeps late at night, and sometimes the light stays on until dawn, which is very strange. I don't know if he forgot to turn off the light when he slept, or he was doing something else. He saw that Su Ying cared so much for her "classmate" (he had put these two words in quotation marks in his mind), and every morning, he would fry two eggs on the kerosene stove and bring them into the mysterious hut.During the day, sometimes she took him to help in the vegetable garden.Sometimes he carried the pickaxe by himself to work up the mountain with the commune members, and went out to herd sheep with the shepherds; moreover, he tied a white towel around his head, dressing himself like a local farmer!At noon on this day, it was swelteringly hot.Yang Qidi went to take a bath in a small river channel behind the village as usual - there is a small chest-deep pool in this place, surrounded by high cliffs, which can avoid people, and people in the village like to bathe here in summer. From a distance, he saw Zhang Min sitting under a big willow tree in front of him, as if he was reading a book; when he got closer, he heard that he was reading the English version of Andersen's fairy tale "The Ugly Duckling".Read aloud fluently, above his level.If he doesn't look up, he doesn't want to greet him.He and he naturally had an awkwardness. He looked up, and said with a smile: "I'm sorry, Xiaofang is taking a shower downstairs, and she asked me to block people here. You sit here for a while, she will probably be finished soon." what!Their relationship has reached this level!He felt that the sun above his head had fallen from the sky and landed on his head, and his head was about to explode with heat. He just said "I'll wash it at night", then turned around and hurried back. He didn't go back to the dormitory.He got off the road, crossed the small river, climbed up the hill opposite the village, and came to the old pear tree again.He sat down, then stood up again, lightly digging at the bark with his hands, staring absently at the rolling hills in the distance.The plateau under the scorching sun is hot and quiet.The hot air evaporates from the earth, shining unpredictable colors in the sunlight.A sense of emptiness and loneliness took possession of him.He turned his head and looked towards the village. The village was immersed in a siesta, and a naked child passed by someone's house on the village road, raising a cloud of white smoke.He suddenly saw Su Ying and Zhang Min walking back from the small river behind the village side by side.She seemed to be combing her hair and talking to Zhang Min. His legs felt limp as if someone had hit him hard with a stick.He sat on the ground along the tree trunk, covered his face with his hands, and a few hot tears flowed from between his fingers.Yang Qidi's hot heart, which was burning for love, went cold.He concluded that her love belonged to this dear guest.He is so childish.Only now did he coolly realize that the frenzy of his previous love was only one-sided.He forgot a basic common sense: love is a matter of two people! He then thought that he and Zhang Min couldn't compare in demeanor and temperament—he was "outcast", while Zhang Min, like Su Ying, was "big city type".He had previously lacked the self-knowledge to take these differences seriously.And the difference between him and Su Ying is only these?Her parents were both provincial and bureau-level cadres, while his parents were ordinary workers.Although her parents are now "unlucky" and overthrown as "capitalist roaders", he has a deep understanding of her parents through her. They are good people!But it doesn't mean that "good cadres" will be able to marry the families of "good workers"!Love can be said to be more complicated than politics!He regretted that he didn't think much about this before, and loved others without thinking, but he created this tragedy for himself. Love is deep, and the pain of losing love is also deep.His daily life, though superficially the same, was out of tune.He mowed the grass and cut his finger; when reading a foreign language, sometimes he would freeze on a sentence and couldn't read the rest of it.He beat his head and complained that he was too worthless! What made him even more distressed was that Su Ying's attitude towards him didn't seem to have changed at all. She still smiled warmly as before, helped him feed the pigs, and even sewed up the tattered clothes he put beside his pillow. It was folded neatly and placed in its original place. But he couldn't bear all of her.He has self-respect, and, from a moral point of view, he cannot disturb and destroy the happiness of others for his own happiness!He began to avoid her deliberately.Occasionally we have to meet, and we just say hello as usual.How surprised he was to see how she treated him.God, what are you surprised about?After mowing the grass in the morning, he no longer rested by the vegetable garden, and tried not to look into the vegetable garden as much as possible.He carried the grass back to the breeding room without resting, and then went back to get dry food by himself.Sometimes, he also forgot to go back to eat dry food, so he went up the mountain on an empty stomach to cut grass for the second time. One day, he was cutting grass in the breeding room by himself, when he suddenly saw her coming in through the gap in the yard, he quickly turned his face away, pretending not to see, and continued to cut grass with his head down.The flowered handkerchief wrapped with dry food was stretched out in front of him.He had to stop, but without looking at her, he said, "I... have eaten." "Why are you doing this!" Her voice was a little hoarse, and the hand holding the dry food was a little trembling.He looked up, stunned.He saw her face twitching, and tears welled up in her eyes.She put the dry food on the stone bed beside him, turned around and walked away quickly. He stood there blankly for a while before opening the flowered handkerchief on the stone bed.Inside were three sheets of white flour pancakes (it did not appear to be made by Ma Ping) and two hard-boiled eggs; a pinch of fine white salt was wrapped in a piece of white paper—this was for eggs. Facing these things, he felt a sore nose: He couldn't get love from her, but she was such a good comrade!He blamed himself for being too indifferent to her in this paragraph!He said to her in his heart: he may only be able to treat her like this at the moment; he will also enter the venue for a while, and when his heart is completely calm, he will resume a normal gay relationship with her. At noon, he wanted to return the handkerchief to her.When he walked in front of them, he heard her talking to Zhang Min in the room, so he gave up the idea of ​​entering her room, and put his handkerchief on the wire in front of them.He was about to leave when Zhang Min came out of the room and poured the wash water, and asked him affectionately, "Have you eaten?" "Have you eaten?" He replied, and turned to look at him.A warm, pretty face; freshly washed hair, black and shiny in the noonday sun.He held the washbasin in his hand, and seemed to want to say something to him.For the sake of politeness, he felt that he should also say something, such as asking "Have you eaten?" or something.But for some reason, his body turned his back, and his feet started to move back—he felt that his body was directing his thoughts.He went back and lay on the bed, unable to close his eyes for a long time.He didn't want to think about Zhang Min, that is, he wanted to think about this person.Although he didn't speak directly to the person who caused him great pain, his intuition told him that he was better than himself in every aspect!He, Yang Qidi, is a sane person, and he cannot recognize him from the perspective of a normal person just because he has caused him pain.He felt that he was cultivated in all aspects, to a certain extent, he was similar to Su Ying, even more sophisticated and mature than Su Ying.He is a typical intellectual, but he is simple and unassuming, and he can easily mingle with ordinary people.He has not been here for a long time, and he has become familiar with all adults and children in the village, and the villagers call him "Old Zhang".And I am not a few years younger than him, but there is a word "small" in front of the word Yang. He suddenly wanted to know, what is the political orientation of this mysterious guest?What is his attitude towards various things happening in the current society?Since the death of the beloved Premier Zhou on January 8 and the Tiananmen Square incident on April 5, what a serious moment the motherland is facing!Although the people seem to be silent for a while, the ground fire is running underground!It is no exaggeration to say that China is now on the eve of a decisive battle between two fates!There was fierce fighting everywhere—even in their little group.Which camp does Zhang Min belong to?In these years and months, this is more important than anything. On the afternoon of the fifth day, Zhang Min and Jiang Feng were the only ones left in the kitchen to have dinner with him.Jiang Feng yelled to Zhang Min very affectionately and excitedly while putting rice into his mouth: "Ha, I re-learned the article "On the Comprehensive Dictatorship over the Bourgeoisie" again today, it is really profound! The strict logic , like seamless steel pipes. Some people want to find fault with the egg, and I think it works!" This "contemporary hero" only speaks loudly at Zhang Min and disdains to look at him.Jiang Feng, whose heart is smarter than a police dog, has already smelled out his deep love for Su Ying, and now is a good opportunity to use Zhang Min to ridicule him. Unexpectedly, after listening to him, Zhang Min swallowed a mouthful of food, thought for a while, and said: "However, I think that Marx and Lenin never thought that their theories were all seamless steel pipes..." Then, Zhang Min very familiarly quoted Lenin's a lot of judgments on these issues related to Ning, and then translated Zhang Chunqiao's article Viewpoints on these issues are extracted and compared.Although he did not directly express his opinion on Zhang Chunqiao's article, the result of this comparison seems to be that Zhang Chunqiao's article is specifically criticizing Lenin. When Jiang Feng and Zhang Min were talking, although he didn't look at the two people who were discussing the issue, he kept listening carefully.He admired and admired Zhang Min in his heart for turning the "seamless steel pipe" that Jiang Feng called into a "grass sieve" full of holes.If Su Ying said these words to Jiang Feng, Yang Qidi would not only be secretly happy in his heart, but would definitely laugh out loud. He couldn't help but glanced at Jiang Feng, seeing that his slender face darkened. Just as he was about to look away from that face, Jiang Feng smiled.This time it was for him. "Qidi is an expert in political economy in our group. Xiao Yang, do you agree with Comrade Zhang Min's point of view?" This despicable thing!Where is this discussing the problem?He was obviously preparing to provoke a spiritual duel between him and Zhang Min!And for a bloodthirsty person, this kind of duel is far more bloody than a physical duel! He understood what Jiang Feng meant at the moment—that meant: Usually, your Yang Qidi's views are probably more right than Zhang Min's? !But not today, right?He stole your love, why don't you vent something now? Jiang Feng concluded that he would improve Zhang Min and be very vicious, but he was wrong.An upright person will not slander the truth for his own grievances, he has not yet fallen to this level.It's not just that - when a small group of national scum tramples on the country, he should have a love that is deeper and higher than personal love - this is love for the motherland.At this point, he and Zhang Min have a common love again, just as they love Su Ying together.That common love brought him pain, and this common love brought him comfort. He glanced at Zhang Min who was washing the dishes.Seen from behind, those broad shoulders really look like his brother who died of illness in his early years.Then he thought of the scene when he and his eldest brother had a dispute over eating a piece of candy when they were children.He wondered how he could remember these dead people and things at this time.He turned his head to look at Jiang Feng, who was still smiling at him, as if he opened his mouth to shoot a poisonous bomb of language to knock down the person who was washing the dishes. His bullet came out, and instead of flying towards Zhang Min, it shot straight towards Jiang Feng: "I'm not an expert in political economy, but Zhang Chunqiao's articles can still be read. Yes, some people's theories are 'smarter' than Lenin's, one is in the sky, and the other is underground, but this 'smart' may one day will fall from the sky, into the part of the world that you know!" "You're swearing at people with what Lu Xun said about the Kuomintang!" Jiang Feng shouted sharply. He ignored him, and poured a little bit of residual soup on the bottom of the bowl out of the door, and then he also went out. As for how surprised Zhang Min looked at him, and how sad Jiang Feng's face was, he didn't see it . He put his rice bowl in the dormitory, and for some reason, he was very emotional.It seems that I can't read the book in the evening.He wanted to make an exception and go for a walk after dinner. He walked out of the courtyard gate, off the road, waded across the small river, and climbed up the hillside opposite the village.He didn't go down to the old pear tree on the top of the mountain.He sat down on a piece of grass halfway up the hillside, and the sweetness of the grass and the aroma of wild flowers mixed together, tangy and intoxicating.He picked up a grass stalk and put it in the corner of his mouth, leaning back on the grass slope, looking at the nearby village and the distant mountains. The sun set in the mountains to the west, and the sky was filled with red sunset glow.Soon, the flying clouds all over the sky disappeared again.The earth gradually changed from transparent orange to a cloudy dark gray. In the twilight, the flock of sheep and the suckling lambs who are jumping to welcome them echo warmly and cordially.On the village road, the children warmly welcome the parents who have returned from the workers.People and animals express the joy of reunion in different languages.There was an atmosphere of geniality, cheerfulness, and perfect harmony in the village. He watched all this with fascination.The body is lying on the soft grass, very comfortable, so comfortable that one feels that one's body no longer exists, but melts with the whole earth.The cool evening wind blew away the smoke from cooking that floated over the village.In the dark green shade of the jujube forest, there are dots of lights flickering high and low.The mothers began to call the dolls who loved to hang out to go home and sleep.After a commotion, the village fell silent, and someone's dog barked a few times in boredom.Then, another confused rooster crowed for a while.The flickering lights in the depths of the jujube forest gradually went out.The village is immersed in a mysterious stillness.At the same time, the noise of the creek rose.The moon has risen, passing quickly through a few white clouds.The milky white moonlight illuminates the rich green of the crops and trees, and the beige color of the newly turned wheat fields.The high mountains stood tall, like some old men bent over and thinking about something. A kind of love for the land of the motherland and the work and life that are closely connected with this land, the surging enthusiasm aroused by this love swelled in Yang Qidi's chest.He thought of many ancient and modern people, and thought of countless warriors who did not leave their names on the land, and dedicated their heads and blood to this land.Some of them have only existed in this world for more than ten years, never wore a good dress, never had a good meal, never had a sweet love life, and dedicated all their love to the motherland ?He has made such a firm wish since he was a child, to dedicate everything to the motherland, to live without shame, to step on the road of life with his firm will, to dedicate everything to the motherland, to live without shame, to live with no shame in life Step on your own solid footprints on the road.But now, how can he be depressed because he can't get someone's love?What is there to worry about?Why must Su Ying be her lover?It turns out that a pure gay relationship is also very good!There is no reason to be jealous of Zhang Min.Jealousy is the most despicable thing.Cheer up, throw yourself into life enthusiastically again, and quickly return your lost soul to your body! His thoughts ran like a river.Although the questions pondered are not all coherent, the conclusions are clearly drawn. He jumped up briskly from the grass, stretched his arms and legs, hummed his favorite song before the Cultural Revolution "Blue Sky with White Clouds Floating", trotted all the way down the hillside, crossed the river, and onto the road . He didn't go back to the dormitory.He walked through the silent village alley and came to the breeding room. A row of animals on the trough raised their heads one after another, making all kinds of intimate calls, warmly welcoming him.He picked up the straw sieves and quickly fed them night grass.He hugged the naughty little donkey again, and rubbed its fluffy little head with his hot cheeks; then he picked up the sickle and the rope, strode forward, stepping on the silvery moonlight, towards the Walk to the alfalfa field on the opposite hillside. As soon as he got to the edge of the grass, he took off his coat and threw it aside, bent down and cut it quickly.The moon rises.The roosters in the whole village opened their voices and started the first round of chorus passionately... He had been tossing for a while at night, and now he fell asleep soundly.For how many days, he hasn't taken such a nap. He had a nightmare, dreaming that he was at war, bombs exploded, bullets roared, the sky fell apart... He woke up with a start and sat up suddenly.The windows were paper black, and it was raining heavily outside.He jumped out of bed, opened the door, and the sound of wind, rain, thunder, and flash floods immediately poured into the room, making his ears numb.The rain curtain blocked the view, and everything on the earth disappeared.He thought of the animals.In such a heavy rain, will the ceiling of the breeding room leak?He took off a straw hat from the wall and put it on his head, and rushed out the door; as soon as he went out, he threw the straw hat back into the house (wearing nothing). He spread his legs, closed his eyes, and ran bouncingly on the familiar mountain road. The ditch leading to the vegetable garden beside the path was filled with the flood water flowing down from the mountain and was rushing.He was running when he heard someone calling his name.He was startled, and quickly bent down to see that it was Su Ying—she was sitting in the ditch, using her body to block the flood in the ditch to the cliff, and the water was hitting her.She grabbed the grass along the side of the canal with both hands.She yelled, "Go to the bottom of the cliff and get my shovel up! Damn it! My shovel has fallen!" Regardless of the height of the cliff, he jumped off.It's really dangerous, the foot piece is only a few inches away from the shovel blade!He stuck out his tongue, grabbed the shovel quickly, climbed up the ditch from the front cliff, and made a hole in the ditch bank like flying, shouting: "Get up!" She came over with the water, her body was covered in mud, her black eyes were full of tears, and she said, "I'm late!"The few beds of cabbage are all gone, and they are all filled with yellow soup... Are you going to the breeding room?You... go! " "You... Go back and change into dry clothes, be careful of catching a cold!" He heard his voice sound a little stiff.He quickly turned around and ran towards the breeding room. He rushed into the yard of the breeding room in a hurry.He turned from the stone trough into the shed, touched his face, looked up at the ceiling, bad!The corner of the shed is leaking. He hurriedly squeezed out from the cows and horses, and climbed up to the roof of the shed along an old Chinese toon tree in the corner.The dense raindrops splashed a white mist on the bluestone slab on the roof of the shed. He found the leaking hole, but was stunned: What should be used to block it?He came up in such a hurry that he didn't bring anything!In a hurry, he took off his shirt, crumpled it up, and stuffed it in the hole! However, the hole is not yet plugged.However, it was only a little bit close.He took off his trousers again and stuffed them in.Take a closer look, it's plugged in now. The torrential rain came fiercely, and it stopped quickly.The heavy rain soon turned into sparse drizzle, and the thunder rolled to the distant horizon, only the roar of the mountain torrent in the river below the village.He looked up, and the distant mountains were still covered in rain and mist, but the nearby mountains had already revealed their faces: the crops and trees were verdant and green; the beige land had turned into a piece of brown.On the opposite side of the alfalfa field, a pile of soil had collapsed, and the exposed dry soil was like a white spot on the yellow cloth.At this moment, he heard a noisy human voice coming from the river, including sharp screams and shouts, which made one's hair stand on end. What happened? He hurriedly put the shovel into the hut, and ran into the river. He saw many people standing by the river from a distance, all raising their hands towards the other side of the river, shouting something.In the river channel, the mountain torrents allow a roaring mud dragon to run downstream, and the waves are like undulating hills; occasionally, a big tree with roots and tips appears and disappears in the valley of the waves.In the small valley on the opposite side of the river, the mountain torrents were also rushing out, rising up on the cliffs at the mouth of the valley, drawing an arc in the air, and pouring into the huge waves of the big river.When he came to the river bank, everything became clear. He saw that at the confluence of the big river and Xiaoke on the other side, there was a small delta, on which stood a sheep and a person.Both rivers were rising and threatened to engulf them.But above them, there is a cliff!Then he saw that on the cliff above the delta, there was an earthen platform with a flock of sheep crowded on it!He guessed that it was the shepherd who carried the sheep up one by one.His guess was right!He saw the man pick up another sheep and send it to the platform.The river continued to rise, and from a distance, the small delta no longer existed. "Forget the sheep! Forget the sheep!" "Hurry up and go up! Ouch..." People were shouting nervously to the other side.But the man continued to carry the sheep up. Yang Qimiao watched this suffocating scene nervously like everyone else, and respected the person who put the collective property more important than his own life.Who is he?Is it Gao Hu's father?Uncle Haiquan?All the people who guard the sheep in the production teams are old men, and how can the old men have the strength to carry a flock of sheep one by one onto the earthen platform?He asked the people around him and found out: That's Zhang Min! It turned out that Zhang Min was curious and wanted to learn how to stop sheep, so he had gone out with Uncle Hai Jiequan several times.Today he begged to let him try it alone. When he knew it was Zhang Min, he quickly searched for Su Ying in the crowd.Saw!She was standing by the river, holding her left hand tightly, and her right hand seemed to be plucking the loose hair-in fact, she was holding a lock of hair in her hand and pulling it.Her body was wobbly, and she was about to fall into the river when she tilted slightly. Beside her stood the old party secretary.The old man subconsciously opened his arms to hug the man in distress on the other side of the river.He was rigid, with raindrops on his goatee. Jiang Feng came suddenly, and the face under the buttered cloth umbrella showed a very anxious look, and said: "You can't find it everywhere! It's raining today and we can't go to work. Let's use this time to study together'7 1' Editorial..." "Look across the river!" he said angrily. Jiang Feng didn't look at it, and said: "I know. Zhang Min is a brat! Tell him to do it again!" "You're not ashamed to say that!" He really wanted to spit on that slender face, but suddenly he heard Su Ying scream "ah", and then everyone screamed. He hurriedly looked across the bank.The little delta disappeared.The sheep were bleating and bleating on the earth platform.Zhang Min has disappeared. A chill ran down his spine.But soon saw that Zhang Min who fell into the water was holding onto a small elm tree on the cliff, and desperately climbed up the earth platform.Seeing that he was about to go up, he sank again; he came up again, and then sank again... Obviously he was exhausted and had no strength to climb this ridge a few feet above the water! Now he was no longer visible, only the little elm was still shaking violently, telling people that he still held it with both hands!Some people on the other side of the river screamed, and some ran wildly on the river bank unconsciously.Su Ying's face turned pale, and she desperately stared at the opposite bank, showing heart-piercing pain!Maybe in a few minutes, those hands eager for life will pull out the little elm tree by the roots, and be swept away by the huge waves! As he watched all this, a thought flashed through his mind like lightning.He ran quickly up the river.The muscles of his whole body were tightly contracted, and the two legs that were running were as light as flying through the clouds.As he ran, he wiped the hot tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand.At this moment, he felt an indescribable excitement.He did not hesitate to throw himself into the mighty current in a small bay upstream.He once won two swimming championships in middle school, but in this head flood, he felt like a leaf in a strong wind had lost his self-control. But he was not knocked unconscious all of a sudden. He drank a few mouthfuls of the yellow mud paste and felt a sharp pain in the base of his nose, but he was still conscious.Realizing his condition, he developed the strength to fight.He touched his muddy face and found that he had reached the middle water line. He was thrown onto the top of the waves all of a sudden, and fell into the abyss all of a sudden.In the interval between throwing and throwing, he seemed to feel a very short separation between his body and the water surface.In this lightning gap, he adjusted his body faster than this gap so that he could reach his destination.At this moment, all memories of the past have disappeared, and all thoughts have been abstracted into a short sentence: save him! Fortunately, he is now in the Xuanshui Bay where the big and small rivers meet, so it will be fine, and he will not be taken to the middle waterline again. Now, his only thought was to grab something to stop himself while the swirling water brushed past Zhang Min, and then lift him onto the earthen platform.It failed three times.He was terribly tired.When he turned around for the fourth time, he caught the corner of a rock suddenly and stopped due to the momentum of the water.Joy made his body tremble, and even made his right leg convulse.He tried his best to calm himself down, kicked his legs straight in the water, and almost broke the blood vessels in his legs. After finally returning to normal, he grabbed the rock corner with one hand and supported the dying man with the other, pushing up with all his strength.He felt a bloody taste in his mouth - teeth must have broken his lip. The drowsy Zhang Min was finally pushed onto the platform, but he himself fell into the water with a "plop" like a puddle of mud. He struggled in the water, groggy and drifting with the current. By chance, the swirling water brought him to the place where he fell into the water just now.He stretched out his two hands and grabbed the little elm tree that Zhang Min grabbed just now.But like Zhang Min just now, he was already unable to climb up that ridge.He brought him the hope of living, but took the dangerous face of death in his own hands! The first line of water in the creek fell.The main stream of the great river rushed violently into the swirling bay.The rushing of water weakens the strength of the body, but increases the weight of the body.The roots of the little elm tree were finally pulled out of the soil by the hand eager for life, and then, a wave like a loess mound rushed over, and the people and the tree were swallowed up by the ruthless flood... Seven Yang Qidi did not die.He drifted in the flood for dozens of miles, and was rescued by a club that was fishing for firewood near the county seat. He is now lying in a hospital bed at the county hospital. He was unhurt.Apart from feeling a little weak, there is no other bad feeling.He leaned back on the snow-white bed, as peaceful as a woman who had just given birth.He felt very happy—he saved a person, and he was alive too. The morning light stained the window paper.Soon, a ray of bright sunlight came in through the window glass, and he stretched his arms in the air vigorously, making a recitative gesture.Really, he really wanted to write a poem praising life! Right here, the door opened, and a ray of sunlight flooded in a person. Ah, it's Su Ying!He has jet-black cut hair, a fair and tender face, and a blue uniform that is usually grayed out after washing, and the worn-out yellow schoolbag is slung across his shoulders.He saw her hands weakly holding on to the door frame, tears streaming down her face. "I'm all right!" he said to her first. "Really...?" She asked tremblingly, walking towards the bed. "How about Zhang Min?" he asked. "It's all right. Are you hurt?" Her eyes scanned his face eagerly. "No. How do you know I'm here?" She put the satchel by the bed, continued to look at his face, and said: "Last night, we searched down the river. We didn't ask until dawn that you were rescued. The water was still heavy in the morning, and the old party secretary and the people in the village couldn't get through. I ran to the hydrological station alone and begged them to hang me from the river. It was sent by Douli..." As she spoke, tears welled up in her eyes again. To comfort her, he smiled and said: "Don't you think I'm very good? The Dragon King insisted on asking me to go to the Crystal Palace. Should I go or not? Thinking about it, I can't leave our earthy valley behind!" His words amused her.He laughed again and said, "When you first came in, I was about to write a poem! I haven't written a poem for a long time, and now I'm excited." When he said this, she suddenly said "Oh", and hurriedly rummaged through the yellow satchel. stand up.She dug out a notebook with a hard brown cloth and said to him: "This is for you! I was going to give it to you yesterday afternoon, but such a terrible thing happened!" She put both hands of the notebook in front of him. He looked at her suspiciously and took the notebook. He opened the hard cover of the book, and a line of eye-catching characters jumped into his eyes: Tiananmen Square Poetry Copy.He turned the pages excitedly.He once read the poems of Tiananmen that he had copied, and recited them aloud alone in a ravine.Unexpectedly, I got such a thick copy now! "I know you will like it..." She looked at the excited him and said. He raised his head and asked excitedly, "Where did it come from?" She smiled slyly, and then slowly slanted to start the future. ... On the last night of the Tiananmen Incident on Ching Ming Festival, a young man escaped from a stick.He works at a research institute in the capital.In those few days in full swing, he copied a large number of poems.Later, he wanted to engrave these poems on the board and print them secretly.He was afraid that if this book was searched, he would not have a second copy in his hand.However, their unit pursued him very closely, and it was difficult for him to carry out his work.So he wrote to his parents in the provinces, asking them to telegraph him that they were seriously ill and wanted him to go home.The telegram came quickly.He asked for leave to go back to his parents, but it was still difficult to carry out this job-because his parents were "capitalist roaders" and the family was under strict supervision.So he went to his sister who jumped in the queue in the countryside and finished carving these poems. After listening to her narration, he trembled violently, and asked, "Where is this person now?" She smiled secretly again, and said: "He almost drowned in the water yesterday, but fortunately you risked your life to save him!" He ran up from the bed in surprise, grasped her arms frantically with both hands, but let them go in a panic.He yelled and asked: "This person is Zhang Min? Zhang Min is your brother?" She smiled and nodded.He stared straight at her, felt his heart stopped beating for an instant, his throat was panting like a bellows, his face was terribly pale, and the excitement almost made him go into shock.It took him a long time to catch his breath, raised his head feebly, and asked: "Then why, you have to hide... your brother-sister relationship?" She sat on the edge of his bed, gently rubbing the snow-white sheets with her hands, and said: "After Tiananmen, my brother -- oh, I forgot to tell you, his name is not Zhang Min, but Su Jing -- wrote a poem praising Tiananmen and sent me a copy. I like it very much. Yes, I have to watch it every night. After reading it, I pressed it under the pillow.I was going to show it to you that day, but it suddenly disappeared.I'm so anxious, I searched for it from heaven to earth, but I couldn't find it no matter what.A few days later, when I was delivering vegetables to a vegetable company in the city, I met Lao Liu, the director of the County Educated Youth Office.He quietly told me that the manuscript of the poem was stolen by Jiang Feng and handed over to the county educated youth office.Look at this stinky hooligan, he suddenly flipped over my bed!He also found out that Su Jing, the author of the poem, was my brother, and asked the County Educated Youth Office to investigate the problems between me and my brother!Lao Liu said that they suppressed the matter, told me to keep quiet, and asked me to be more wary of Jiang Feng in the future.I originally wanted to tell you about this, but I was afraid that something would happen to you if you got angry, so I didn't tell you... See if Jiang Feng is blind!I recently heard that his old man who 'followed closely' recommended him to a deputy director of the Provincial Revolutionary Committee as a secretary!His father himself has also been promoted to the Standing Committee of the Provincial Revolutionary Committee.Ten years ago, he was just an ordinary officer in the department organized by the provincial party committee! "" Despicable thing! " He heard her slanting, pounding his fist on the bed, and cursing angrily. Su Ying's usual smile appeared on her face again, she looked at him and said, "In order to guard against Jiang Feng, my brother and I quarreled. Played such a play for fun!Some time ago, my brother stayed up all night just to carve those poems.He just finished engraving the night before, and he gave me the notebook as a gift.I think you like to write poems, so I will give you this..." "Why do you write poems without telling me?Zhang Min, no, Su Jing doesn't understand me, don't you trust me? ' he interrupted her, very unhappy. "No," she explained, "as soon as my brother came, I wanted to tell you to ask you to help engrave it—your handwriting is good! But my brother refused, because he said he was afraid that something would happen to you in the future. .Besides, since my brother came, you...have been ignoring people. Tell me! Why have you...been treating me like that lately?" She looked at him angrily, her face flushed. He looked at her, and the fire of love that had been extinguished for a long time in his heart suddenly ignited again.His lips trembled, not knowing what to say, and awkwardly regained control of him.She raised her head suddenly, with a bright smile on her face, and asked: "Do you really... love me?" "What?" "You heard me..." Before he could react, she She had already put her two hands silently in his.His two hands were trembling, and he held her hand tightly, and two strings of crystal tears flowed happily down his cheeks... April-May 1979 in Xi'an