Chapter 70 You can never think of 17-(Zheng Xiaofang)

I never imagined that I would appear here at this moment. Not long ago, a telegram came from my family saying that my father was ill and asked me to come back and have a look. When I got home, my father's illness was basically cured.In fact, my father's illness was not serious. It was the two old people who missed me and wanted to take this opportunity to let me come back and let them have a look.After careful calculation, I haven't been home for almost two years.Living in a big city for several years has made me indifferent to the concept of my hometown.And for more than a year, he has been keen on falling in love, and even his parents think less about it.When I come back now, I feel ashamed.

Every corner of my hometown is so familiar.Nothing has changed here.It's just that I've changed—it can be seen in the eyes of the folks.Therefore, although I still have cordial feelings for my hometown, my hometown treats me like a foreign guest. I also know that many changes have taken place in me. Yes, I am no longer that naughty, thin, ragged little Feng.I'm dressed right now, and I'm personable, like someone who works in a big place.There is one thing that makes me very embarrassing, that is, my local language is extremely impure, and from time to time there will be a few cool Putonghua that the villagers call "bite Beijing accent".Don't say they sound awkward, even I feel very uncomfortable.

I corrected it as much as possible, and tried to restore the authentic local dialect.Therefore, you have to speak slowly, and the result is as ugly as foreigners speaking Chinese! The people in the village have indeed treated me like a guest, and almost every family has invited me to dinner, the standard is the same as inviting a new son-in-law—according to the customs here, when a daughter in the village gets married, the whole village will invite her son-in-law Have a meal. In the past, whenever I returned to the village from school on a Saturday, many young farmers who were about my age would come to visit our house, talking and laughing without restraint.Now, these people dare not come to the door casually.Even when they came, they all sat on the kang block of my house in a respectful manner, took the cigarettes I handed over respectfully with both hands, paid a courtesy visit and left.My current location has clearly separated me from the villagers.What makes me unbearable is that my parents don't treat me like they used to, and now they also treat me with a respectful attitude, and they don't speak or act casually in front of me——

It seems that this is the only way to be considered as a suitable parent for this promising son. One night a few days after returning home, my parents asked me in a tentative tone, should I go and see Uncle Zheng and Aunt Zheng? I was too embarrassed to say a word for a moment. They were talking about Xiaofang's father. When I was young, Wei Fang's parents treated me like their own child.They don't have a son, so they kiss me especially. I remember when I was in elementary school, there was a Dama River between our village and theirs. In summer, the river often flooded. If the flood didn’t subside after school in the afternoon, I couldn’t go home.Whenever this happened, Xiaofang would take me to her home. At this time, her parents would clear up the ordinary meals that had been prepared and prepare delicious food for Xiaofang and me.In the evening, they would take out the new quilt that was usually kept in the box for entertaining guests, and let me cover it, and I would spend the night at their house.At that time, Xiaofang and I were both young, so we slept on the same kang, and we were not ashamed.

That is, on normal days, if their family has a good meal, Xiaofang always asks me to go to their house.Sometimes when I have something to do and I can’t go, they will keep the delicious food for me, and they will be happy if they insist on letting me eat the portion that belongs to "Xiaofeng"... Later, Xiaofang and I grew up, and the surrounding villages The grown-ups joked that the two of them were made for each other.Needless to say, Uncle Zheng and Aunt Zheng do not object to people saying this, and are willing to let people say it, but they never mention it themselves.They reborn our own decisions.But no one could tell that these two old people were happy that Xiaofang and I got along well.But now... when my parents asked me this question, they broke a scar in my heart that was not healed.How can I go to Uncle Zheng's house again?My relationship with Xiaofang has become like this now!But I did not affirm or deny to my parents whether I would go or not.

The next day, with a feeling of melancholy, I went alone to the school where I had studied in my childhood. It's summer vacation and school hasn't started yet.The yard was quiet, and the classrooms and teachers' quarters were locked.The school has newly built a lot of cave dwellings, and the yard is also bigger and surrounded by walls.No matter how it changes, the place is still familiar and intimate. I wandered around the courtyard, looking at every classroom and dormitory through the holes in the window paper.I saw where I used to sit - Xiaofang used to sit next to me.I also seem to have discovered the small wooden table that she and I had sat together in the past... In the middle of my return home from school, I suddenly ran into Uncle Zheng.

He always calls me by my nickname. I walked over in embarrassment and stood in front of him, not knowing what to do. Uncle Zheng seemed to be fine, he looked at me with a smile, and stroked my shoulder affectionately with his hard-working hands. I fought back the tears from welling up in my eyes. Zheng Darun asked me to go to their house for dinner.Have a meal!How many times have I eaten at their house... I couldn't refuse, so I had to bite the bullet and go to his house. My aunt welcomed me equally warmly.The old couple immediately began to prepare meals for me nervously.From the corner of my eyes, I saw that the auntie wiped her eyes with her apron from time to time while making the face, but the uncle stopped her with his strict eyes...

My heart suddenly ached.I slipped down the stone wall to look at the framed photos on the wall.There are a lot of me in this.There are group photos of the whole class in middle school; there are photos of me, Xiaofang and other classmates.In the upper left corner of the picture frame is a group photo of me and Xiaofang when we were in college—to be precise, when we were in a relationship: I smiled, and she smiled, cuddling together. I really want to cry... In the lower left corner, there is a photo of Xiaofang in the desert. She is standing in front of a clump of willows, wearing a cotton coat, and the background is desolate.

desolate.Nothing can compare to the desolation of my state of mind at this moment... I saw in the photo that she seemed to be a little thinner than before, with a serious and pensive expression on her face.I stared at her for a long time.She was also staring at me for a long time... After eating, I had a hasty and uncomfortable lunch with uncle and aunt.They still treat me like they used to and I can't look them in the eye now.I know I have failed their old and loving little ones. When I returned to our village, I was surprised to see a jeep parked in front of the people in our yard surrounded by many people in the village.

I inquired about it, and it turned out that this was a car specially sent by the county to pick me up to give lectures to amateur singers in the city—the head of the county cultural center I knew personally picked me up.Of course, this incident caused a sensation in the village, because the small jeep, which represents the glory and status of the local people, has never visited our village. People in the village are now talking enviously that my parents have given birth to a capable son.My parents were even more panic-stricken and solemn, rushing forward and back to cook for the curator and the driver.Both of them were a little flustered.

The director of the county cultural center held my hand enthusiastically and said: "We heard that you are back, and many amateur writers in the county have asked you to give lectures in the county. After all, we have a talent like you in our county..." I'm excited myself.I thought with emotion that a few years ago, I was an ordinary middle school student in the county.At that time, few cadres knew me.Now the county even sent a jeep that is usually only the county magistrate and secretary of the county party committee to pick me up and let me go to lecture... This event overwhelmed my recent despondency at once. I once again realized from this incident that although I was not happy in other aspects of life, staying in the provincial capital and working in the editorial department of "Northern" was undoubtedly the right path.Just imagine.If I don't graduate and come back here and become an ordinary middle school teacher, can I have such an honor?Can my hometown lift me up like this? I felt like I was alive again all of a sudden.I said in my heart: Hometown, I love you, but it's not that I can't stay by your side... When I gave lectures in the county, I received what can be said to be a grand reception.There were many people attending the class, most of them were young people younger than me, and there were also my classmates and some cadres.They all asked me this and that with respect and admiration. After the lecture, the deputy secretary of the county party committee and the deputy county magistrate in charge of culture and education in the county came to visit me in the cultural center.A small banquet was also held in the evening, and the county cultural director came to the banquet in person to show his respect for me. The next day, it was Xiaoji who took me home again. Yes, I was a small person in the editorial department of "Northern", and sometimes I couldn't help being a little angry, but once I got down there, I seemed to be a person. The holiday is coming and I wanted to go back to work soon, but I thought of Xiaofang. To be honest, I longed to see her in my heart. I miss her - because deep down I still love her.Especially after I took this detour in love, I actually love her more. I know how hard it is for her to live there alone now. I think she may have regretted her decision to go there at the beginning, but she wants to be strong and refuses to admit it.Yes, she is soft on the outside and strong on the inside, she will not easily deny her actions, even if she is wrong, she probably will not turn back.But maybe.I think it is possible for me to persuade her to leave there, go back to the provincial capital, and then come back to me.How I would like to live with her... Maybe she won't forgive me anymore, because I was in love with another girl in the meantime-it was a mess... Anyway, I'm desperate to see her! ...In this way, I left home, took a car and continued northward, and came to this place.After a year of separation, I finally saw her again. The moment we met, we couldn't help but burst into tears.Neither of us mentioned anything about the past, just happy to finally see each other again. But hugging is out of the question, only four hands tightly held together... She looked pretty much the same as the ones I saw in pictures of her house, except it was summer and she was wearing a plain singlet that accentuated her slender figure.His face was darker, but still very smooth, and the charming smile on the corner of his mouth did not disappear.In the evening, she personally went to the kitchen to make me a bowl of egg noodles, and watched me finish eating as kindly and gently as in the past.The only difference is that she has fewer words.I don't know what to say myself.Both parties probably have a tacit understanding in their hearts: just meet, don't talk about those sad and emotional things.yes don't... At night, she made me sleep in her bed, and she went to sleep in the next room by herself.After I lay down, I couldn't fall asleep.The night was so still that it made people flustered.There is no sound outside, only the wind and the leaves are talking, whispering something that some people can't understand... There is a wall between me and her.I guess she wasn't asleep at the moment - what was she thinking?