Chapter 2 The first part - the near future, the second long-lost person

A few days later, I went to the second floor of the Sanlian Publishing Store on the East Street of the Art Museum to attend the Spring Festival tea party of the "Dhushu" magazine.This is an annual event. I went to it intermittently several times in the early 1990s, and since I moved to Beijing in 2004, I went there every other year to show my face and talk to the older generation of editors and authors. Chatting a few words is to let the cultural circle know that I am still alive.As for young editors and authors, forget it, I don't know them, and they don't feel the need to know me.

That day, the atmosphere was different from before, everyone was very excited.In the past one or two years, I have also noticed that I am often inexplicably excited, but the excitement of everyone that day still surprised me a little.The editors and authors of Sanlian and "Dushu" may have a passionate side in thought, but they rarely show excitement in social life.That day, everyone seemed to have drank a few ounces of Erguotou, hi hi. Zhuang Zizhong, the founder of "Dushu", has not shown his face for a long time, but he also attended in a wheelchair. He looked rosy, like a dead tree rejuvenated.But there were too many people around him, so I didn't go to say hello.In addition, Sanlian and "Dushu" have served as all the top leaders, party secretaries, general managers, chief and deputy editors, as long as they are alive, it is really a miracle. I have never seen such a grand occasion in many years, it is so surprising.I have always been cynical about human nature, and I don't think any organization is completely harmonious, especially mainland institutions, especially state-owned enterprises, including state-owned cultural units.

That day, the editors and authors I knew all greeted me with over-enthusiasm, but when I wanted to continue talking to them, their attention had already diverted and they were busy talking to others.This kind of encounter is actually very common, and it is common in tea parties and receptions, especially when you are not a character.After being transferred over and over again that day, I adjusted my mentality. In fact, I returned to the mentality I am most familiar with over the years, the mentality of an uninvolved bystander.I have to admit that I am still moved by what I saw: so many famous intellectual elites of different orientations gathered together in such a harmonious way, with sincere joy and even collective excitement on their faces, it must be a veritable peaceful world now .

I was in a great mood, but a strange thought in my head made me think I should get out.I came out of the party and planned to stop by the bookstore.I first casually read art books on the second floor, and then went to the first floor to experience the latest bestsellers, business books, and travel books.The bookstore was packed that day.It's great that so many people read the book!I think of the four words "Scholarly Society".I went down the stairs on the first floor to the basement, and the two sides of the steps were full of young people and students who were concentrating on reading, almost blocking the way, as if telling everyone not to go to the basement.I am full of joy and walk carefully. This is my main destination every time I go to Sanlian Bookstore, that is, to visit the literature, history, philosophy, politics, humanities and academic book area on the basement which takes up a lot of space.I have always believed that such books can be displayed with such generosity and dignity in this city, which is one of the reasons why Beijing is worth living in. A city that reads books on literature, history, philosophy and politics must be an amazing city.

That day, the basement was relatively deserted, it should be said that it was particularly deserted.The strange thing is that when I got to the basement, I didn't have the mood to browse carefully, I just wanted to find the book I was looking for.What book to look for, but I can't remember it for a while.I walked into the basement, thinking that maybe I would think of what I was looking for when I saw the book.I passed the philosophy area, turned to the political area, and the historical area, when I suddenly felt a little depressed in my chest.Is the air in the basement bad? I quickly leave the basement.I climbed up the stairs, thinking not to bump into the young people sitting and reading on both sides. Suddenly someone grabbed my trousers, and I looked down in amazement. That person also stared at me. Not light woman.

"Old Chen!" she said, glaring at me. "Xiaoxi", I said, wondering why Xiaoxi hadn't seen her for a few years, she looked so old, and her hair had turned gray a lot. "When I saw you going down, I wondered if this person was Lao Chen!" She seemed to say: Meeting me is a big deal. "Did you not go to the tea party of Reading?" I asked. "I didn't know until I came here. Are you free now?" She waited earnestly for my response as if grabbing a life-saving grass. I said: "Yes, I invite you to drink coffee."It took her a while to say, "Let's talk as we walk," and then she let go of my trousers.

After leaving Sanlian, she walked towards the art museum, and I followed her side by side. When she spoke, she remained silent, so I asked her: "How is Miss Song?" "it is good!" "Is it eighty?" "Ok!" "How is your son?" "Ok!" "how old are you?" "More than twenty". "So big?" "Ok". "Are you studying or working?" "I'm studying. Don't talk about him!" I was stunned, and I still remember how she loved this child.I said, "How about we go to the Overseas Chinese Building for a cup of coffee?"

"Just here." We walked into the small park next to the art gallery. She stopped and said, "Old Chen, do you feel it?" She earnestly waited for my answer. I don't know how to answer, I just know that I shouldn't answer "what do you feel?"Because she seemed to be testing me, as if she was asking for a password, and if I answered incorrectly, she would not speak her mind to me.As a writer, I love hearing what other people have to say.As a man, I want to hear what this woman has to say. I groaned with embarrassment on my face, and she said, "Is it an indescribable feeling?"

I reluctantly nodded.There have been many times in my life when I have been asked to describe how I felt about a work of art or a piece of music when I had no feeling at all.I hate the feeling of not feeling, but also because I am well trained, I am good at coping with it. She continued: "Great, I knew it. I saw you walking down the stairs in the bookstore just now, and I was thinking that Lao Chen would understand. I have been sitting on the stairs waiting for you to come up." Probably in Xiaoxi's impression, I am a well-informed and reasonable person.I like that other people have this impression of me.

I pointed to the bench and said, "Let's sit for a while." My advice was right, she relaxed after she sat down, closed her eyes and said, "Finally, finally". She used to be the kind of woman I liked. Her outline and body shape have not changed for so many years, but her face has more wrinkles from lack of maintenance, her gray hair is not dyed, and she is getting more and more melancholy. She seemed to be closing her eyes and meditating.I looked at it, and my heart skipped a beat, I still like this woman, I like a melancholy woman. She closed her eyes and said, "I don't even have anyone to talk to. I feel that there are fewer and fewer people like us, so few that life is no longer worth cherishing."

I said: "Don't be stupid, no one is lonely, no matter how lonely he is, he must live." She ignored my cliche: "No one remembers, I remember. No one said, I said. Am I crazy? There are no traces, no evidence, no one cares." I like the way she speaks Beijing dialect. She closed her eyes and said, "Tell me, we are old friends, why haven't we seen each other for so many years, tell me." "I thought you were abroad." "No!" "It's good if there is none. Now everyone says that nowhere is as good as China." She opened her eyes and stared at me.I didn't know her intentions, so I kept my face expressionless on purpose.She smiled: "Thank you for being in the mood to joke."I'm not kidding, but I immediately followed her and smiled too. "I almost thought it was my son talking," she said. "Your son, just now you said not to talk about him, what's the matter with you?" She said in a strange tone: "He is very good. He studied law at Peking University and joined the party." I vaguely said: "That's good, I will find a job in the future"! She said, "He wants to join the Central Propaganda Department." I thought I heard it wrong, it should be China Mobile, Sinopec, Bank of China, CITIC and so on. "Central Propaganda Department?" Xiao Xi nodded. I said, "Can the Central Propaganda Department apply for the exam?" "He said it was his goal in life. He's got a big idea! I can't stand it, I have nothing to say to him. When you see him, you will understand what I mean." I am enjoying, sitting next to Xiaoxi, I feel a sense of happiness.It was an afternoon in early spring, the sun was shining brightly, and it was so warm that old men and women came to the park to kill time again, and some smokers were smoking... smokers?The two smokers finished one cigarette and then smoked the second one.I love to read detective novels, and I have actually written detective novels. This kind of scenario has room for fantasy, and it can be a plot of stalking.But in reality, I'm just a best-selling author who eats, drinks, has fun, and has no value in being followed.In China, where there are people, there are smokers, which is very common. I heard Xiao Xi still confiding to me: "Is this adding to the chaos? Can't take it."I thought to myself, what stimulated Xiaoxi?Her son, or is there a hangover from her personal nightmarish past? She looked at me and said: "Once in a small restaurant in Lanqiying, I had a blind date with a Taiwanese man from you. He was a Taiwanese businessman doing business in the mainland. He talked in a different way, from astronomy, geography, medicine, divination and astrology. , Down to the overall situation of the financial investment world, endless, there is nothing he doesn't know, which makes me bored, until I just said a few words about the government, he actually taught me, saying that I am not satisfied, I don't know how to be grateful, and put me I was so angry that I really wanted to smack him, it was disgusting." "Not all Taiwanese men are like this", I think it is necessary to say something for "us" Taiwanese men, and then ask curiously: "What happened to you and that man?". She smiled: "He only cared about teaching me, so he sat on the edge of a chair, and a tall and strong boy at the next table finished paying his bills, and deliberately slammed into his chair when he walked by, and he thumped He fell to the ground". "Boy?" I asked. Xiaoxi: "Young lad!" "What did the boy say?" "What do you mean? Let's go! I'm so happy." "You know him?" "I don't know. I really want to know." I was a little jealous: "Violence, isn't it good!" "I feel so good. I want to slap people's mouths all day now." Xiaoxi has seen too much violence in her life, and it is inevitable that she will be affected. I remembered the reason why I didn't dare to get too close to her back then. "What happened to the Taiwanese man?" "He stood up fiercely, wanted to start a scolding, but couldn't find anyone, so he scolded: 'I have no culture'. You see, you Taiwanese still look down on us." "How dare you now?" I know that people on both sides of the strait and the three places used to look down on each other, but now I'm afraid everything has changed. I asked: "That blind date was pornographic?" Xiaoxi said: "People want to find young ones." I thought to myself, women should not dye their hair. "Are you okay with your life?" She locked her forehead and curled her mouth, exposing more wrinkles in the sun: "Life is fine, but the people around me have changed, and I feel uncomfortable. Now talking to you, it's much better. I haven't talked to anyone for a long time..." . She stopped suddenly, staring blankly at the ground in front of her.Following her gaze, I wondered whether it was the sun slanting in the west that sifted through the dry branches, and the mottled shadows that fell on the ground attracted her, or did she suddenly think of something and get distracted?After a while, she came back to her senses: "Oh, I have to go, the rush hour will be crowded later." I gave her my business card: "Let's make an appointment to have dinner with your mother and son." She said softly, "Look."She stood up, said "go", and left. Xiaoxi's pace was quite fast, I looked at it presumptuously, it was really interesting from the back, her figure and movement looked like a young woman.She went out from the south side of the park, and I strolled happily towards the east side exit of the park, suddenly remembered two smokers, turned around and found that they had also walked to the south side exit of the park, I saw Xiaoxi turning right towards the art museum out of my sight, the two smokers waited for a few seconds, and then followed in the direction of the art museum.