Chapter 25 Amy: Until Death (18)

Shi Yan begged Yao Xiaoping, "Yao, can you come with me to find Vice President Zhang?" Yao Xiaoping was puzzled: "Why do you want me to go with you?" "I think --- please help me prove --- I broke up with Excellence a long time ago --- tell him --- the wrongdoer has the head --- the debtor --- don't take innocent children ---" Before Yao Xiaoping finished listening, she bluffed: "You are crazy! You said that, and you didn't offend everyone from all directions? Zhuoyue was the first to hate you because you made your family ugly. Vice President Zhang was the second. I hate you, because you are saying that he forms a gang, uses his power for personal gain, and helps one group to punish another group. If that Wen, if you know that you said that he took your child for surgery, I think he ate you I have my heart----"

After thinking about it, she also felt that this idea was a bad idea, and shot it dead in her heart.But Yao Xiaoping said: "You can go find him yourself---" "I'll go find him myself---so I won't offend people everywhere?" "I'm not asking you to beg him not to take your child under the knife. Who would be so stupid to sit in the mouth of a tiger and persuade it not to eat people? I'm telling you to beg him not to send you back to 'Dongdongguai' now." Over there, let him put your relationship here first, and give you more time to find a job in City D. Anyway, if you put your relationship there, you don’t need him to feed it, as long as you don’t take his salary—— "

This time it was her turn to be puzzled: "Tell him to put my relationship here? Is this--- useful?" "Of course it works. If he assigns you back to 'Dongdongguai' now, there is nothing you can do about it, because there will definitely not be a fertility index for you there, but if he can temporarily put your relationship here, I might be able to find a way--" "any solution?" "The last time I had a city-wide open class, the principal of No. 1 Middle School in City D also came to listen to the class. He was engaged in our major and appreciated me very much. He always wanted to poach me. He said that there was a shortage of us in No. 1 Middle School. The teacher of this course, he is so busy with administrative work, he has been holding two classes. I didn’t agree at that time, because I just went to the attached middle school, and my strict father helped me. To mobilize----"

"Then you mean—" "I called the principal of No. 1 Middle School a few days ago and asked him if he still wanted me to go there. If so, I would be willing to transfer there immediately. He agreed--" "What are you transferring to now? Well done here—" "I'm transferred, so you can enter the attached high school! The attached high school belongs to the teacher's college. Can't you get your fertility index back?" Only then did she understand, her already dry eye sockets became moist, and she choked up and said, "Yao, you are so kind to me, I really- don't know why- thank you- ---"

Yao Xiaoping waved her hand: "Forget it, forget it, don't make it so exaggerated, if I go back to the county and give you this position, then I will be full of praise. Now I am just doing a favor and transferring a It's also good for me, I can stay away from this place. My troublesome son has made me have a bad reputation in this area, and people don't want to live with me, even if we Xiaogang haven't made much trouble these days, these People still don’t like us. When I go to the No. 1 Middle School, I’ll start over from the beginning to make a good impression. It’s best to be transferred to another place with Yan Jing, to a place that no one knows, so he will feel less pressure some----"

She thought that one day Yao Xiaoping would go away with Yan Jing, and she felt very sad: "I really don't know what I should do if you left----" "Don't worry so much, let me inquire first to see if your fertility index is still there, if you have to come back, if you don't come back at all, then I don't have to bother --" The next day the two of them split up. Shi Yan went to Vice President Zhang and asked him not to send her back to "Dongdongguai" for the time being.Vice President Zhang seemed to be unable to remember this matter, so she had to remind me: "You said before, if I haven't found a receiving unit by the end of the year, you will assign me back to me --- to my hometown --- "

Vice President Zhang suddenly realized: "Oh, don't you say that I almost forgot, there is such a thing. Why, no one wants to accept you?" She said aggrievedly: "Many units are willing to want me, that is --- stuck on the fertility index ---" "You have to ask the family planning office about the fertility quota----" Seeing that Vice President Zhang was going to "pass on" her away again, she quickly said, "I'm not talking about fertility indicators, I just want to ask you not to send me back to my hometown for the time being---" Vice President Zhang began to ask her where her hometown was and why she had to be reassigned. It was as if she saw a purebred stranger, and her mind was washed away by a flood, leaving nothing but mud.While answering the question, she sighed in her heart, why do she always feel that other officials always remember that little thing about her?How many things do people have to pretend in their minds, how can they remember us ordinary people?

Thinking that she became an employee of the Teachers College just because of Vice President Zhang's words, and this time, it was because of Vice President Zhang's words that she was living a life like hell these days, and this Vice President Zhang It's embarrassing that she has completely forgotten her name and the "case".It seems inaccurate to say that Vice President Zhang disregards human lives, and it seems inaccurate to say that this is "the wine and meat of Zhumen stinks, and the road is frozen to death", but there is such a feeling in my heart, as if Vice President Zhang squeezed Seeing her and her child's life and death cards, one side of the card reads "life" and the other side reads "death". Vice President Zhang casually throws it away after drinking and eating, and can decide the fate of her and the child.

Thank goodness! Vice President Zhang threw the word "birth" casually this time, and promised not to send her back to her hometown for the time being, but her salary will definitely stop from next month.She was extremely grateful, if it wasn't for the fact that she didn't have that habit, she would have the heart to kneel and kowtow. When she returned home with the good news, she saw Yao Xiaoping cooking in the corridor, hurried up to report the good news, and then inquired about Yao's battle situation.Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, and what Yao Xiaoping brought back was bad news: the person from the Family Planning Office said that if they were transferred to the attached middle school this year, they could consider the fertility quota.But if you wait until next year to transfer in, you won't be able to get the fertility indicators, because there are annual plans every year, and the unused ones will be handed over to the state, which will benefit future selections.

Yao Xiaoping was dejected: "Hey, I'm such a pig brain! Why didn't I think of this earlier? It's too late now, it's only been two days in total, how can I get the two transfers done in time?" The flame that had just ignited in Shi Yan's heart was extinguished again, but when she saw Yao Xiaoping beating her chest and stamping her feet, she had no choice but to endure the despair in her heart, and said comfortingly: "It's okay, you did your best." The two of them were silent, only hearing the sound of Yao Xiaoping cooking with a spatula. Although it was only cabbage, she was hungry now and it smelled delicious.Every time she was greedy, her baby would join in the fun in her stomach, punching and kicking, as if to fight for a mouthful.She hurried to the dormitory to touch a few biscuits and ate them with her hands. While eating, she said to Yao Xiaoping, "I figured it out. If you get fired from the public office, let's fire from the public office. It's nothing. I'll rely on my parents for a while, and I can find them myself." Do some tutoring or something, and then try to find a way to go abroad----"

Yao Xiaoping said: "You don't know anything about our China? One file, one account, can kill you. The file is like a ghost, following you all day. When you are fired from public office, it becomes a stain on you. When the time comes, I’m afraid you won’t even be allowed to take the exam to go abroad, you’re going out of the country. Also, even if you go abroad, your child is black and black, can he go out of the country?” The two were silent again, and finally Yao Xiaoping said: "I think you were born with the same fate as me, and you can't escape no matter what. You want to be a noble person, but the reality makes you unable to be noble. You are still the same as me." , Put Qinggao on, shameless when you should be shameless. Since you are reluctant to kill the child, you should give birth to it. If you lose your job, you will lose it. In the future, you will find a powerful husband based on your beauty. Take it all back--" Qing Gao is really nothing on her scale now, because her child sits on the other end of her scale, let alone Qing Gao, she doesn't care about the shame, as long as she can keep her child, as long as the child can live a good life Well, if you tell her to marry a hunchback immediately, she won't even blink or frown. The two were discussing the feasibility of finding a powerful husband for a beautiful woman like her who dragged black children from black households and was fired from public office, when they heard the concierge call loudly at the stairs, "Shi Yan on the fifth floor, answer the phone!".She went downstairs, picked up the phone and heard that it was Zhuo Zhuo, and asked her how she was thinking. She didn't understand: "how did you think about it?" "You moved back," he said unhappily, as if he had sensed something, "Have you been brainwashed by that Yao again? I knew she wouldn't give you any good advice, except for being vulgar and snobbish. One, what else can she teach you? And you listen to her the most! It's just that I overestimated you two, and you shouldn't have discussed it with her---" An "overrated" annoys her, and "You shouldn't have discussed it with her", what do you mean?Could it be that he planned to kidnap her back that day?Otherwise, the mouth grows on her body, and she can discuss it with whoever she wants, so why does he "give up" or not "give up"?She sneered: "You are such a noble person, why do you want me, a vulgar and snobbish person, to go back?" He quickly explained: "I didn't say you're vulgar and snobbish. Yan'er, come back! It's New Year's Day soon, the family is so torn apart, it's a joke for outsiders---" Before she could answer, he said, "Just Let the past become the past with time, let's start from the new year, forget all the unpleasantness of the past, and start again----" This kind of language of "new school year, new plan" made her seem to be back in elementary school composition class. After all, one should have a little awe and hope for the new school year.She replied in a primary school composition tone: "I wish you good luck in the new year! As for me, I don't have any extravagant expectations in the new year, I just hope that the new year can bring me a fertility indicator-- -- " "Didn't I say, you come back, give birth to the child, and let me figure out everything else---" "You think of a way? What can you think of? Can you think of a hukou for the child?" "Of course." She didn't believe it: "Can you register for your child?" "You still don't believe me when I say 'yes'? I have acquaintances in the Public Security Bureau, a very strong relationship --- It is not a problem to register the child --- My mother also --- decided to retire and help us take care of the children. She I have worked in education and education all my life, and I will be able to take care of our children. Not only do we not have to pay the nanny fee, but she can also pay us back. Yan'er --- Don't go your own way and make trouble. If you don't think about yourself, you should also think about your children. For my mother's sake, she let the cadres be improper, just to bring us children---" She was a little moved by his mother, and now her children are her touchstones to judge people and judge things. Whoever cares about her children is a good person; whoever doesn't care about her children is a bad person.She asked again: "Can you register your child? Then why didn't you say it earlier? It made me worry about the birth index --- worry so much ---" "You never mentioned the household registration, you only mentioned the birth index---" he suggested, "My mother asked us to go to her place for dinner on New Year's Day, and she invited a lot of guests, mainly to announce that she Bringing us the baby --- the decision to retire early --- is also an answer to those who care about her ---" As soon as she heard that his mother had invited many people, she immediately thought that they were all officials, and felt that they were all copies of Vice President Zhang.In fact, Vice President Zhang didn't do anything to her. It should be said that he was quite kind, but she was afraid of him. Now that Vice President Zhang came to the room, wouldn't that scare her to death?She hesitated: "That's all --- cadres --- I'll go there --- I'm afraid it won't work, okay?" "When a cadre leaves the office, what's the difference with ordinary people? It's not like carrying a head on two shoulders. The child is in your stomach, and you are the protagonist of this party. How can you succeed if you don't go? Yan'er, it's settled like that , I'll come pick you up right away--" "Didn't it say New Year's Day? Why now--" He said decisively: "You pack up your things, I'll come and pick you up right away." After Shi Yan made the phone call, she walked towards the fifth floor with a guilty conscience, not knowing what to say when she met Yao Xiaoping later.She remembered that she hadn't felt this way for a long time, but she often felt this way before, as if Zhuo Liang and Yao Xiaoping were really aphids and ladybugs, they were born enemies, and they couldn't get along well.She was caught between Zhuo Zhuo and Yao Xiaoping, neither on the left nor on the right.Later, when I moved out from Zhuoyue, I didn't feel this way anymore. I just wanted to share the joys and sorrows with Yao Xiaoping and shared the same goals.Why did this feeling come back now, as if she had just betrayed Yao Xiaoping, with a sense of guilt. When I went upstairs, I saw that Yao Xiaoping had already set down the dining table, Yan Jing and Xiao Gang had already started, only Yao Xiaoping was still politely waiting there, when she saw her coming in, she immediately pointed to a bowl of rice and said, "That bowl is yours, Eat it quickly." She faltered and said, "I--I'm afraid I don't have time to eat, Zhuoyue said--come to pick me up right away--" Yao Xiaoping smiled and said: "I knew it must be him who made the call, and now he will desperately get you back, so as not to let his opponent see the joke---" "It's not that he's going to get me back, it's his mother -- please let me come over on New Year's Day -- his mother took early retirement to help us with the baby -- invited some guests -- just to announce -- - " "Do you believe this kind of thing? You must have been kicked out by the group surnamed Wen. In order to save face, they used the child as a fig leaf. Otherwise, they will retire. What else is there to announce?" She hadn't thought of this yet, but after Yao Xiaoping reminded her, she didn't think it was completely impossible.But this only strengthened her determination to go to the party, because she sympathized with Aunt Jo.She faltered and said: "No matter what his mother --- why she retired, at least she is willing to take care of the children --- I am still very grateful --- anyone who is willing to help my children --- I am grateful to them-- " Yao Xiaoping asked: "Then are you going to move back?" "I --- I haven't figured it out yet --- Zhuoyou said that he --- can help the child get a household registration --- he said that he has an acquaintance in the Public Security Bureau, and the relationship is very strong ---" Yao Xiaoping said suspiciously: "Can he register for the child? Didn't he keep talking about it two days ago and let the child have a black and black household? Could it be that his iron buddy from the Public Security Bureau only met these two days?" "Maybe he- forgot to mention it then?" Yao Xiaoping asked Yan Jing: "Yan, have you heard that Zhuoyou has any acquaintances in the Public Security Bureau of City D?" With a serious mouth full of rice, he pushed back and said, "Don't ask me, don't ask me. How would I know about him?" Shi Yan said: "There should be some acquaintances, right? Anyway, when he issued the marriage certificate --- he opened the back door ---" "Issuing a marriage certificate is one thing, and registering a household registration is another thing. Different back doors are difficult to open. Getting a marriage certificate is nothing. No one will check where there is an extra marriage certificate. But registering a household registration Is it that easy to suddenly have an extra person and an extra ration? Also, where did he get the marriage certificate? It’s not in D city at all, but in the suburbs. The child’s household registration is with the mother’s , unless your account is also registered in the suburbs, otherwise even if he has a back door, he will not be able to get your child's account." She was confused: "Then---do you want to go to his mother's place or not?" "His mother should go there. With a little effort, she can save face for her and have a meal. Why don't you go? I guess Zhuoyou didn't tell his mother that you moved out at all, and kept pretending in front of his mother. It looks like a happy marriage, that's why his mother kept it in the dark, so she invites these guests, if you don't go---her mother will lose face in front of those guests---" "But you said that Zhuoyou couldn't get a registered residence——" "That's another matter, and I'm not sure that he can't get in. I just told you not to expect too much from him. I think he is a person who can do anything for his own face. He is now You get it back, don't embarrass him in front of his mother, and don't let his mother embarrass him. He makes a wish indiscriminately, but if you really expect him to fulfill one by one, nine out of ten will fail. You are on your own, and he is walking now Downhill, don't mess with him--" She disagrees with this a bit: "It's because he is going downhill now that I treat him---I can't be cruel, I don't like to do things that make things worse------" Yao Xiaoping grinned: "As soon as you are upright, you have no nose and no eyes. If you don't throw trouble, it depends on who you are. If a sheep falls in the well, of course you shouldn't throw trouble. If a wolf falls in the well, you don't want to throw trouble." Shouldn't you be insulting? If you don't, it will jump out and bite you to death!" "but--- " "Forget it, don't embarrass yourself. I didn't ask you to get into trouble. I just told you to be on guard against him. He is going downhill now, and he hopes that you will go downhill more than him, so that he can maintain his psychological advantage in front of you. , you can ask him for something. Be careful that he will secretly step on you a few times for his own advantage---" "How else can he step on me?" "These things are hard to say, and I can't think of how he could step on you now. The only thing I can think of is to use this child to force you to go back. For a person like him, you must try to hold him by the nose, and not let him He held your nose." "You keep talking about holding his nose, I don't know how to hold his nose—" Yao Xiaoping said with a smile: "I really don't want to say it here, lest I listen carefully, and I won't let you lead me." Eating his meal rigorously, Yao Xiaoping said: "Let me tell you, whatever he asks of you is his bullshit. You have to hold him back and make terms with him. He won't agree to your request." , you don’t agree to his request. Things like this moving back are excellent bullshit. If you move back first, it will be in his hands whether you can get a registered permanent residence, so you must not move back now , You tell him: I will move back when you register your child’s household registration.” The boring gourd Yan Jing suddenly interjected: "Then if he says you don't move back, I won't register for you?" "Then it's up to him to cut his nose!" "But you didn't get your registered permanent residence, so both sides will suffer." Shi Yan thinks that rigorousness is actually very clear in her heart, but she doesn't like to talk so much.He was more thoughtful than Yao Xiaoping about the matter of the cow's nose.That's the reason. Pulling the nose of a cow is easy to say, but difficult to do. If it is loosened, it will not work. If it is tightened, the nose will be pulled open, and the cow will still run away.But before she had time to ask the bull-nosed master, rigorous, what is the appropriate tightness, the bull had already come to the door. Because she was discussing holding his nose, she couldn't change her expression now, she was very embarrassed, but she saw that Yao Xiaoping had already changed her face, as if she had been waiting for Zhuoyue to come to dinner just now, and now she finally came, she said with a smile on her face: "Teacher Zhuo is finally here, sit down, I'll serve you a meal---" Zhuo Zhuo stood at the door and refused to come in, and said with a strong voice: "Mr. Yao, I want to take Yan'er home and go to my mother's place for dinner on New Year's Day. I wonder if you approve our husband and wife reunion?" Yao Xiaoping chuckled: "Approved, approved, not only approved, but also wanted to follow to make money. Just now I was asking Shi, did your mother-in-law invite me to dinner?" Shi Yan wished that Yao Xiaoping could be taken there to embolden her, and she hoped that Zhuoyue would be a favor and invite Yao Xiaoping's family of three. It would be more lively if there were more people, wouldn't it just pay three extra dishes? Zhuoyou said implicitly: "If Teacher Yao can go, it will be really splendid, but the guests are all invited by my mother, and they are all from her circle---" Yao Xiaoping said: "They are all officials? Then I am embarrassed to join in the fun, don't lower the grade of your family's party----" "I have to thank you for taking care of our Yan'er during this time, and sharing your valuable experience with her selflessly. People who have been educated by you must be different. Look at your son----" "Ms. Zhuo is a teacher after all, so I can see our Xiaogang's progress. Thanks to me, I hugged my son off the railing that day. Otherwise, it would be a trivial matter for my son to be scrapped. If Mr. Zhuo was implicated and went to jail, That would be a great loss for the country—” "You said that day? Hehe, how did that happen? I didn't hold him up to the railing and sit, everyone can see who is responsible. Teacher Yao, everyone is doing the work of teaching and educating people, and set an example The most important thing is to set a shining example for your children, and the most important thing is not to follow others, add insult to injury, male robbers and female prostitutes---" Yan Jing yelled at Yao Xiaoping: "Eat, eat!" Then he said to Zhuo Zhuo, "Old Zhuo, go wherever you are going. Shi hasn't eaten yet. If you say a few more words, the day lily is cold---- " Shi Yan whispered: "Yao, then I will go, so I can give this place to you --- reunion, I wish you a happy new year!" Yao Xiaoping said, "You too." She added: "I --- I'll be back after New Year's Day ---" Yao Xiaoping said insinuatingly: "You'd better wait for Mr. Zhuo to decide whether you will come back or not, otherwise, someone will blame me for their own responsibility---" Zhuoyou wanted to talk back again, but Shi Yan gave him a hard look, and finally took his next words back to his stomach.She learned the lesson from last time this time, and she didn't foolishly carry the big and small bags, so as not to have to bother Yan Jing to help her move things. She only packed a few changes of clothes and put them in a bag. Said, "Let's go." Zhuo Zhuo asked: "Just bring this little thing?" "Let's talk about it after New Year's Day --- then you can --- come back and get it ---" Her tone was very firm, and he didn't say anything else. This time, the two still lived in one bedroom and one in the living room.The next day was the last day of that year, Zhuo Zhuo insisted that she follow her to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, she didn’t want to go when she saw the cold weather, she pushed him many times, but he refused to let go, she thought he might want to tell everyone about his What a happy family life.Thinking of his current political dissatisfaction, and his mother being forced to retire early, and now he is relying on her to save face for him, he felt sympathetic and resolutely went to the vegetable market with him. When the two of them came back from buying vegetables against the cold wind, she was the one who did the cooking. After finishing cooking, the two of them sat down to eat. Zhuo Zhuo drank a few glasses of red wine, but she didn't drink it at all.After he drank, he talked more, talking about his ambitions, wishing that he would destroy Wen, take back everything that Wen took away, take it back twice, and so on. She's really not interested in these things, but she's also too lazy to argue with him.She came here because of his mother's party, and because she still had a glimmer of hope in her heart, hoping that he had acquaintances in the Public Security Bureau who could help the child get the household registration, and because she didn't want to be too cold when he went downhill Besides, she didn't want to be caught in Yao Yan's family of three during the new year.Let's assume that she came out to stay in the hotel and gave up the dormitory to Yao's family of three to celebrate New Year's Day, so she didn't want to say much about the hotel owner's political ambitions. In the evening, after taking a shower, Zhuoyou came to the bedroom to look for things in a tank top and shorts, but she was already indifferent, looking at his bare torso and his small tent, she had no special feeling up.Before he climbed into the bed, she ran to the bathroom, stayed there for a while, and then opened the door to come out, and saw that he had got into the quilt on the sofa, lying there watching TV. She wanted to take a few steps to the bedroom, but was stopped by him: "Yan'er, go to bed so early? Come on, watch TV. Today is the last day of the year, at least wait until the New Year's bell rings before going to sleep, right?" She evaded and said, "I'm so tired, I have to get up early tomorrow---" Then she went into the bedroom, closed the door, and tied it. He was still watching TV outside, and when the New Year's bell rang on the TV, she shed tears. Shi Yan and Zhuo Zhuo went to Zhuo Zhuo's mother early in the morning on New Year's Day. Shi Yan wanted to help in the kitchen, but Zhuo Zhuo and Aunt Qiao refused to let her help, and she didn't want to be crowded in the kitchen with Aunt Jiang.Ever since Yao Xiaoping talked about the bad habits of the poor and backward mountain village, she didn't hate Aunt Jiang any more.Judging from her own experience, she felt that Aunt Jiang could not enjoy any enjoyment when she did what she did for Excellence. She just cleaned the floor and cleaned the toilet like a desperate servant, not because she could do the job well. It is fun, but because it can please the master if it is done well. So all her resentment for that matter turned to Zhuozhuo, hating him for not following the right path at a young age, hating him for not correcting himself when he grew up, hating him for being married and having a wife but still not being able to let go of that, hating him He didn't admit he did something wrong.But after this period of time, her hatred for him has turned into indifference.This is her characteristic, she doesn't hate a person easily, but if she does, she will slowly remove that person from her heart. Maybe it's her psychological effect. She felt that when Aunt Jiang looked at her, she always had a humble expression on her face, as if she didn't dare to open her eyes or speak to Zhuoyou in front of her. Said, deliberately evasive, which made her very uncomfortable.If Aunt Jiang wasn't so humble and guilty, maybe she would gradually forget about it.But Auntie Jiang's words, deeds, and demeanor are all reminding her: I deserve to die, I deserve to die, I have had that incident with your husband, and it has happened for many, many years, my sins are serious and can never be erased--- She had no choice but to hide from Aunt Jiang, but she didn't go to the kitchen and had nothing else to do, so she sat in the living room and watched TV. Although she didn't watch anything, it was better than just sitting there.Later, the guests gradually came, and the living room became the world of the guests. She talked to Zhuo Liang, and then slipped into the guest room to sleep.But every time a new person comes, Joyo will go to the guest room to call her and show her to the guests.The guests commented on her, some said that she must be a son because of her sharp belly, and some said that she must be a daughter because she has no butterfly spots on her face, they all seemed to be betting.She didn't know what to say, but smiled awkwardly at the guest. Or maybe it was her psychological effect. She felt that Aunt Qiao seemed to be a lot older, and she kept telling the guests the benefits of retirement. It seemed that if she didn't talk about the benefits of retirement, others would suspect that Aunt Qiao was being dismissed.Those guests seemed to be some cadres, and most of them sounded like they had worked under Zhuo Zhuo's father, but they all spoke as if they were no longer in their positions. So the gathering gave her the feeling that a group of unsatisfactory resigned cadres recalled the glory of the past, talked about how to grasp the revolution and promote production, and make all walks of life in D City flourish and flourish, and how D City is now in decline. The cadres are corrupt, the common people live in poverty, and so on, reminding her of a common saying: once the emperor, there is a courtier. As soon as the dinner party was over, she was urging to go back. She was not used to dealing with those people and felt very restrained.But Zhuoyue kept procrastinating. At one point he said that there were still guests here and it was not good to leave now, and at another point he said that he might as well wait until dinner before going back.He waited until after dinner and sat for a while before he took her home. She asked him to take her back to Nan Yishe, but he said: "It's not good to go back now, those two wild mandarin ducks definitely didn't expect you to go back today, they must have arrangements." She thought about it too, so she agreed to stay with him for another night.When she came out of the shower and walked to the door of the bedroom, she found that he had moved the TV to the bedroom and was lying on the bed watching TV.She was a little embarrassed, standing there, in a dilemma. He greeted and said: "Come on, go to bed and watch TV, I put it at this angle, it's just right to watch while lying on the bed---" "I-- I'd better go to the living room and sleep--" "I can't sleep well on the sofa in the living room. I'm nestled there, and my spine hurts from sleeping. I slept all night last night, and my hands and feet are all swollen. You have such a big belly, I'm afraid you won't be able to get up if you sleep on it. , don't spoil the child--" She still stood there, and he said, "Why bother? We haven't just met. What haven't you done between us? What are you doing so gracefully? Don't worry, what you don't want to do, I will I won't force you to--" She thinks about it too, whoever sleeps on that sofa will suffer, the bed in the bedroom is so wide, two people can sleep well without disturbing the river.She didn't hesitate anymore, and obediently climbed onto the bed in the bedroom and lay down.But she didn't watch TV, because the TV was on his side, and he was in front of her. If she wanted to lie down and watch TV from her side, it was best to rest her head on his chest. She lay there pretending to be asleep, while he changed the channel one by one. She couldn't see the picture, and then she heard a person singing half a sentence of Cantonese opera, and then suddenly jumped to talk about cross talk, and then there was a dog barking and a cat barking again. It also talked about the urban construction of D City.Then she heard him swearing, probably the one named Wen appeared on the TV. She was curious, and wanted to see what the bastard who made her up to this point looked like, so she stood up and asked, "What is this?" Is there anyone named Wen on it?" He took her in his arms, lifted her up, put her head on his chest, pointed to a person who was speaking at a certain meeting, and said, "That guy is---" She glanced at him and found that he was ugly. If he didn't say that he was Wen, she really wouldn't be able to see how vicious he was. He looked like a typical cadre, with no one, no appearance, and no special features .She looked at it for a while, then lost interest, knowing that no matter how many times she looked at it, she couldn't kill Wen.She tried to slip off his chest and he grabbed her, squeezing her breasts with one hand.She said, "Don't--" He whispered in her ear; "This is a new year, we have agreed, all the old grievances and grievances have been lost in the past year, let's start again----" She protested: "We also agreed, you won't force me to do what I don't want---" "Am I forcing you to do this? Aren't I discussing with you? If you don't want to, how could I force you?" He put his hand on her stomach, "I can touch the child, right?" It's not easy for her to object, so let him put his hand there.The child seemed to have a desire for performance, seeing an audience coming, she quickly bulged a lump on her stomach. Zhuoyou looked at the bag through his clothes, and said in surprise: "Is that it? It----is---moving!" She said proudly: "This is its daily homework. It moves like this every day. I fight against it every day, but I can't beat it. If you don't believe it, you hold it gently, it is so strong , it will only go down if I tell it to go down--" Before she finished speaking, he shouted: "Go down, go down, before you tell it to go down, it goes down---" She defended, "Why didn't I tell it to go down? Didn't I say the word 'go down' just now? It thought I was telling it to go down, so it went down. It understands everything and is very smart-- - " He proudly said: "My species is of course smart!" Then he asked, "Can you take your clothes off and have a look? You can't see clearly---" She didn't object, he unbuttoned her clothes, stared at her swollen belly, and waited for the baby to bulge.After a while, the child bulged a lump on her belly again, and he quickly covered it with his hands, "fighting" with it, after a while, he said: "Go down, go down!" But the bump on her belly Refusing to go down, he asked, "Why didn't I tell it to go down?" "You are so cruel to it, how can it listen to you?" She boasted, "Look at me, I told it to go down, and it will definitely go down." She said softly, "Baby, is this hand tired? Huh? Change hands and arrive again." After a while, Zhuoyou exclaimed in surprise: "It really went down --- it really understands everything ---" He buried his head on her chest and didn't move for a long time. She felt that he was crying, and she began to cry too. She cried and said, "Such a cute child, someone can't tolerate it and wants to kill it. Who killed me?" child, I will kill him!" He said: "Kill him! Kill his whole family! Kill him without leaving behind!" She quickly corrected her and said, "Why do you kill other people's whole family? You don't even keep chickens and dogs, it's too much. One person does things and one person should be responsible, don't hurt other people's family members. What I hate is that they use children to kill you in order to punish you. We How can you do the same vicious thing and kill the whole family?" He didn't argue, but asked with concern: "Have you ever had a B-ultrasound? I heard that you can tell whether you are a man or a woman by doing a B-ultrasound---" "I've had a B-ultrasound, but the doctor won't tell the result." She said narcissistically, "I think it's a girl, because when I asked the doctor, she said, 'boys and girls are the same'. I heard someone said, If the doctor says that, it's the girl, otherwise, she's like 'what's the question? I won't tell you!'” He seemed very disappointed: "Is it a woman? What can a woman do? Our Zhuo family has been passed down for several generations, just wait for me to give birth to a son---" She was very upset: "You are a university teacher, and you still have this kind of feudal thinking? "It's not that I have this kind of thinking, it's the old people in our family. But I also hope to have a son who will become a great politician in the future and kill all the enemies of the Zhuo family---" 她连忙阻止：“快别说这些凶狠的话了，别把孩子教坏了--- ” “你自己刚才不还在说要杀谁吗？” 她张口结舌，想了一会才说：“我那不同，我说的是如果谁害死了我的孩子，我会杀他，我没说无缘无故就--- 斩尽杀绝别人，我也没教孩子杀人--- ” “我也没说无缘无故斩尽杀绝谁，我哪里有那么无聊？既然想斩尽杀绝那些家伙，肯定是有原因的。那伙人贪污腐化，男盗女娼，利用职权，排除异己，株连九族，残害无辜，难道不该杀吗？”他贴着肚子对孩子说，“儿子，我知道你是儿子，你一定要是儿子，等你生出来，爸爸再详细告诉你哪些人是卓家的仇人。你爸爸没杀完的，你接着杀! ” 她奋力推他：“叫你别瞎说，你还在瞎说，你别把孩子教坏了--- ” 他没再说什么，只在她身上到处摸，她想推开他的手，他坚持，说：“我只摸一摸，不行吗？你一点也不想？我听刘医生说，女的怀了孕---- 其实是很想的--- 比平时更想---- ” 她有点喘气：“我怕把孩子--- ” “不会的，刘医生说了的，就是前三个月，后三个月要注意，中间这个阶段是最保险的---- ” 她也听医生这样说过，看来不是哄她的。她胆子大了些，厚起脸皮说：“你--- 现在光顾你自己，既不管孩子，也不管---- 我---- ” 他愣了一会，悟出了她的意思，辩解说：“我哪里有不管你？我是怕你现在这样不能--- 高潮---- ” 她心里的疙瘩消了很多，但仍然赌气说：“你不是有刘医生这个狗头军师的吗？你没问她---- ” “问她什么？你能不能高潮？我没问，这怎么好问？你这个人哪，想高潮就直说，何必扭扭捏捏的呢？又不是外人，该说的不说，闷在心里，跟我赌气，搞得两个人都不舒服，真是又害人，又害己。来来来，我今天让你好好高潮一下--- ” 她担心他七搞八搞把孩子搞掉了，推他的手说：“不要，不要，别把孩子--- ” “不要紧的，我慢慢来，先试几次，如果没事再接着来---- ”他伏下身，衔住她的乳头，她忍不住呻吟起来。他很满意于这个效果，继续吮她的乳头，一只手潜行到她两腿间，上下摩挲，她觉得隐藏在她体内的欲望在外来势力的挑动下，正在积极搞政变，宣传机构也配合着哼哼叽叽造声势，迫切希望外来势力派兵进入内部促成这场暴动。当他的手指钻进去的时候，她长吁一口气，仿佛“苦迭打”实现了一半。 剩下的那一半“苦迭打”很快就实现了，她感到一阵收缩由那个隐秘处升起，直奔小腹，一种令她骨头发酥的感觉漫向全身。但她还没尽情享受那久违的快感，就觉得肚子绷紧了，铁桶一样，硬绑绑的，沉重地压着她，小腹那里纠结地痛。她吓坏了，捂着肚子连声问：“宝宝，宝宝，怎么啦？你不喜欢？妈妈不来了，妈妈不来了，你别这样，别吓妈妈呀---- ” 卓越也楞在那里，问：“怎么啦？” 她也不知道怎么啦，只知道整个肚子硬绑绑的，好像孩子石化了一样。 卓越还想继续，但石燕不肯了，请求说：“我们别来了吧，孩子不喜欢--- ” “它懂什么？它现在连呼吸都不会，哪里知道什么喜欢不喜欢？” “它知道的，你刚才不是看见了吗？你凶它，它就不听你的，我跟它讲道理，它就听--- ” “那是巧合，懂不懂？它那都是无意识的生理运动，是你在那里左一解释，右一解释，搞得煞有介事的--- ” 他起了身，又像上次那样把她往床边拉，但她坚决不肯：“我说了今天别来了，你怎么听不见？你说了不强迫我的，你又在强迫，你怎么说话不算话？别为了一时的享乐害了孩子--- ” 他抱怨说：“你刚才想要高潮的时候，怎么没担心享乐害了孩子？等你自己高潮过了，大道理都出来了--- ” 她死也不肯，他气呼呼地躺到床上，别过身不理她。她捧着肚子躺在那里，在心里对孩子说：“宝宝，你要是没事，就躺下睡觉吧! 你要是没事，就轻轻动一动吧。你别这样啊，别吓妈妈呀! ” 她感觉孩子似乎躺下了，肚子没刚才那么硬了，但她的下腹仍然纠结地痛。她去了趟洗手间，用卫生纸擦了擦下面，看到带血的分泌物，越发慌了，连忙回到卧室，边穿衣服边对卓越说：“我下面在出血，你送我去医院吧，我怕孩子会出事---- ” 他不耐烦地说：“我现在怎么好去医院？” “你怎么不好去？” 他掀开被子，指着自己乌红绷硬的地方：“我这个样子，怎么好去？等会又要痛起来。还是你来帮我，把这事解决了再去吧，快得很，就几下--- ” 她烦了：“到底是你那事重要，还是孩子的命重要？” “物竞天演适者生存，刘医生说了，要流掉的孩子就是该流掉的--- ” “她的话就是圣旨？” “你就是喜欢大惊小怪，上次那事不是吗？兴师动众的，把你们一栋楼的人都惊动了，还深更半夜把我叫去，结果怎么样呢？还不是自己吓自己，给别人看笑话？” 她不再跟他罗嗦，自己拿了小包，往门外走，以为他会追上来，但一直走到一楼了，他也没追来。她只好到门房去打电话，但不知道该给谁打，想打给姚小萍，又太晚了，他们肯定睡觉了，即便没睡也不能用自行车送她上医院。她央求门房说：“师傅，我现在肚子很痛，我怕孩子出事，急着去医院，您能不能--- 想办法---- 帮我叫辆出租？我付钱你--- ” 门房为难地说：“这时到哪里去叫出租？看在校门那里能不能拦到车，又是元旦--- 你不是楼上卓老师家里的吗？卓老师他不是有摩托的吗？” 她哭了起来，撒谎说卓老师不在家，门房见她哭得可怜，说：“那我骑车到校门那里去叫出租，不过拦不拦得到车我不敢保证---- ” 她感激涕零，连声谢谢，当即就给了门房二十块钱。门房骑车走了之后，她觉得腹痛得更厉害了，急忙躺到门房那个又小又脏的床上，自己轻轻抚摸肚子，做深呼吸，也不知道有用没用，但总比干躺在那里着急好。 过了一会，她听到有人在外面按喇叭，急忙起床走到楼外去，见一辆出租车停在门前，司机看见她出来，大声问：“是不是你叫车？”她点点头，走到车跟前。司机见她大肚子，差点不让她上车，说新年第一天，如果他的车沾了产妇的血光，这一年都不顺的。她解释了半天，说自己还没到生产的时候，又许诺加倍付钱，司机才让她上了车。 坐在车里的时候，她就把车费都数出来，捏在手里, 车一到，就赶快付钱，然后往医院大门走，但又不敢快跑，一路夹着腿来到急诊室，进门就大哭起来，告诉医生说她肚子痛，下面流血，叫医生救救她的孩子。 急诊室的医生一听说肚子痛，下面流血，担心她有先兆流产症状，直接把她送到住院部那边去了。住院部那边也如临大敌，验血验尿B 超心电图什么的，全用上了，折腾了半夜，才告诉她：“暂时没有流产的征兆，出血可能是阴道或者子宫颈有外伤, 先住院观察几天吧--- ” 卓越第二天才找到医院来，一来就问她的医疗保险还在不在，她这才想起自己在师院的工作已于去年的最后一天结束了，她担心地说：“我也不知道，昨晚我把医疗证给医院的时候，他们没说不行--- ” 他有点不耐烦：“医院怎么知道师院早就把你开除了？医疗证又不会写那些东西，但是等到他们去师院结帐的时候，还不真相大白？” 她没功夫计较“开除”两个字，只惊慌地问：“那怎么办？师院会不会说我---- 搞假？” “说你搞假到没什么，主要是医疗费的问题，他们不会给你报销的，该你自己掏钱. ” “得--- 多少钱？” “我怎么知道？住院的花销总是不会少的--- ”他立即去找医院打听，医院好像也很糊涂，搞不清这种情况究竟该谁付钱。他又跑回师院去打听，一直搞到第二天才得到确切消息，气急败坏地回到医院，说师院绝对不会付这笔住院费，因为她已经不是师院的人了。如果她是去年住进医院的，师院还有可能商量，但她迟了这一天，情况就不同了。 卓越去找医生，要求马上出院，但医生不同意，说最少得等到明天收治她的某医生来了之后，才能决定出院不出院。就这样，她在医院住了三天，花了几百块，她本来想硬个气，自己付钱，但她实在拿不出这笔钱了，只好低三下四地叫卓越付钱。 卓越咬牙切齿地付了钱，一路都在痛骂师院，虽然没直接骂她，但她心里也很难受，因为这至少说明他很计较这笔钱，不然的话，看到孩子没事，还不早就把钱的事忘到九霄云外去了？ 接下来的日子，石燕真是度日如年，前段时间虽然跑得辛苦，但总还是有点希望，而且还有工资，吃自己的，用自己的，不用看人脸色。现在真正成了靠人养活了，让她尝到了“寄人篱下”的滋味，卓越买什么回来，她就做什么吃，不敢提要求，他一说起某菜太贵，某物涨价，她就心惊肉跳，怕他是在嫌她吃闲饭。 而他好像越来越有债权人的威风，以前是她做饭，他跟着吃，她不做，大家就去吃食堂。但现在不同了，饭做晚了他都要发几句牢骚，菜做得不够辣，他也要摔盘子撂筷子，比对姜阿姨还不礼貌。她知道只要她没工作，没收入，她就得品尝这种滋味。为了孩子，她只好竭力隐忍，祈祷这种日子早日结束，但她看不见一点光明，不知道她这辈子还能不能再参加工作。 有天下午，门房上来叫她接电话，她去了，以为是姚小萍打来的，但拿起来一听，是黄海。她的心无缘无故地乱跳起来，好像干了什么坏事一样，生怕卓越下来发现，很没礼貌地问：“你怎么把电话打到这里来了？” “我---- 元旦结了婚，想告诉你一下，就打电话到你上班的地方，结果他们说你--- 不在那里工作了，问他们你调到哪里去了，他们都说不清楚，我不放心，就--- 往这里打了个电话。你--- 现在到底在哪里工作？” 她哽咽起来，勉强说：“没在哪里工作，还在找接收单位--- ” 他急了，问：“怎么搞的？不是干得好好的吗？” 她不得不简明扼要地把这件事讲一遍，说主要是卓越的死对头上了台，搞报复，抓住她找工作开后门这件事，把她在师院的工作取消了。 黄海也不能免俗，少不得把那些她早就想到了并试过了的办法一个一个地提出来听她否决。她这段时间不知道重复了多少遍这样的答案，把她都重复烦了，觉得每个人都把她当个傻瓜，当个不动脑筋的人，每个人都把那些显而易见的路子介绍给她：“附中去试了没有？”，“ D 市的中学呢？”，“你老家那边呢？”，“乡下中学是不是好搞生育指标一些？” 这些问题回答起来很繁琐，你得一个一个告诉人家去过某校没有，怎么跟人家说的，人家又是怎么回答的，你又是怎么回答的，然后人家又是怎么问的，你又是怎么回答的，等等，等等。你不答清楚，人家就以为你漏掉了什么，就要反反复复提醒你。常常是说得她口干舌燥，烦不胜烦，但又不能烦，因为人家都是一片好心，都是在想帮你。 还有的更糟糕，基本就是来兴师问罪的：“你们既然没把生育指标的事搞落实，怀孕干什么呢？”，“这都怪你自己，先就不该走后门”，“当官的家庭根本不该找，图人家的地位，结果怎么样呢？”。 这还算沾个边的，有的指责根本不沾边：“你妈也是的，闺女的婚事，怎么不把个关呢？”，“门不当，户不对的，强扭在一起肯定过不好”，“早就叫你别学这个专业”。 她对这些热心人开始还挺感激的，听多了，解释多了，就只剩下烦躁，不知道他们到底在想什么，到底要干什么，恨不得对他们说：你们要么就拿个接收单位出来，拿不出来就别管我了! 但实际情况往往是：越拿不出一个接收单位的人，指点得越欢，问题越多，解释起来越麻烦。 如果不是因为这是黄海，她差不多要发脾气了：你说的这些，我都能想到，我都试过了。我说不行，当然是不行，如果行的话，我还在这里跟你废话？还不老早跑那个单位上班去了？你有没有什么新路子？No?没有就别说这事了吧。 但她不好驳黄海的面子，只好问一句答一句。还好，黄海只提供选择，不追问细节和为什么，算是比较好对付的热心关怀者。 “附中那边试了没有？”“试了。” “ D 市的那些中学呢？”“也试了。” “那么多学校，全都试了？”“全都试了。” “'洞洞'那边呢？不光是你们'洞洞拐'，所有'洞洞'的学校？”“都试了。” “钢厂子弟中学呢？” 她有点烦：“刚才不是说过了吗？ D 市的中学都试过了---- ” “但是钢厂子弟中学不是D 市的，他们不属于D 市管---- ” 她惊讶地问：“真的？你怎么知道？” “我在那里做过社会调查，我怎么不知道呢？钢厂子弟学校以前是归D 市管的，但后来两家矛盾很深，加上钢厂子弟又调皮成绩又差，市里没哪个学校愿意接收他们的子弟, 他们的家属区离市里那些学校又远，所以他们自己办了子弟中学和小学---- ” “但他们也不能解决生育指标的问题吧？” “很难说。钢厂男职工多，但能娶到媳妇的却很少，光棍一大片，照说应该在生育指标方面没那么严，如果他们愿意调你进去教书，一个生育指标应该能解决吧？反正去问一下不会吃亏---- ” 石燕不好意思地说：“对不起啊，刚才我还在心里嫌你罗嗦呢--- ” “我也很烦别人这样为我出主意想办法，不过轮到自己，也好不到哪里去，一样罗嗦。”黄海建议说，“你现在行动不方便，叫卓老师先到钢厂那边去问一下，如果钢厂子弟中学也不行，那我就--- 实在想不出什么别的地方了--- 其实--- 丢掉公职也没什么--- 先保住孩子--- 工作的事以后想办法，大不了做个体户，等孩子大点了，还可以考出国去--- ” 她现在恨不得一脚跑到钢厂子弟中学去打听消息，其它事情都太远了点，没兴趣。她随便说了两句，就匆匆忙忙挂了电话，挂了才想起没对黄海说个恭贺新婚的话，只好下次了。 她马上给姚小萍打了个电话，报告这个好消息。姚小萍一听，好像到手的头功被人抢了一样，后悔不迭地说：“唉呀，我怎么没想到这上头去呢？总以为D 市的学校就都属D 市管，唉，我这么聪明的人，早该想到这上头去了。”懊悔了一阵，姚小萍突然问，“卓越知道不知道这事？” “我还没告诉他--- ” “千万别对他说是黄海告诉你钢厂子弟中学的事的，如果姓卓的知道，肯定从中捣鬼，把这事给你搞黄。” “那我就说是你想到的--- ” “也别说是我想到的，因为他也恨我，他现在肯定想让他自己做你的救命恩人，好让你死心塌地跟着他，无论是谁抢了他的恩人位置，他都会把你的事搞黄。他就是这样的人，为了他自己的利益，谁的利益都可以牺牲，哪怕是自己孩子的生命，他也不会眨个眼，反正他不愁没孩子，这个生不成，还可以生别的--- ” “那我就说是我自己想到的--- ” “最好什么也别告诉他，先到钢厂那边搞落实了再说，等调令拿到手了，关系都转稳妥了，再告诉他也不迟。我总觉得如果他知道了，一定使阴坏。你想想看，钢厂子弟中学不归D 市教委管，我们这种平头百姓可能不知道，但他会不知道吗？他的妈妈就是管D 市教委的，管不管钢厂子弟中学，还能不知道？但他亲眼见你为找工作这么着急，他都没说让你去钢厂子弟中学试试，我看他是故意的--- ” “我没工作，对他有什么好处？他现在一天到晚在我面前哭穷--- ” “也许他就是要让你把工作搞丢，这样你就只好依靠他，所以说，师院辞退你的事，还很难说究竟是谁搞的鬼，说不定就是他搞的，只不过刚好姓温的也上了台，就做了他的替罪羊。换句话说，即便你工作的事不是他搞的鬼，他现在也是个祸害，他的敌人整不倒他，就拿你开刀。我们平民百姓斗不过那些当官的，只能防着点，害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无。” "you are right." “他明天上午有没有课？” “我记得是有的--- ” “那就好，你明天等他上课去了，就打电话给我，我骑车到校门那里去叫出租，再到你门前来接你，我们一起到钢厂子弟中学去打听--- ” 她不知道到底有没有必要搞得这么神神鬼鬼的，不过姚小萍有一点说得对，防人之心不可无，提高警惕总是没大错的。她回到家的时候，没看见卓越。她想到明天才能去钢厂子弟中学打听消息，就有点坐立不安，恨不得现在就去讨个话出来，到底有没有生育指标。 过了一会，卓越回来了，一进来就问：“谁打电话来？” 她想，多一事不如少一事，于是回答说：“姚小萍。” 他突然提高了声音：“我最恨撒谎的人! 如果你老老实实回答我的问题，兴许我还能原谅你，像你这样欺骗我的人，我最讨厌! ” 她心虚地辩驳说：“我哪里--- 撒谎了？” “你还没有？我去问了门房的，打电话来的是个男的，你怎么说是姚小萍？” 她硬嘴说：“我是跟姚小萍打了电话的嘛，你不信去问姚小萍---- ” “我问的是'谁打来的'，我没问你'打给谁的'，你听懂了没有？” 她的脑子飞速地转着，看要怎样才能息事宁人，把这事混过去，但她急中总是不能生智，越急越糊涂，半天没答出一句话来。他厉声问：“是不是那个丑八怪打来的？” 她想起黄海已经结婚了，底气足了许多，说：“你别老是丑八怪丑八怪的，人家没名字？是黄海打来的，是来报喜的，他元旦结婚了---- ” “你撒谎都不会撒，这话说了谁相信？” “你不信可以去问他。” “你以为我不敢去问他？”他当真伸出手来，“把他的电话号码给我，等我去问他。” 她想不给他电话号码，免得黄海把钢厂子弟中学的事给漏出来了。但她觉得与其让他因为吃醋跟她闹起来伤害孩子，或者完全限制她的自由，还不如把黄海的号码告诉他，也许他亲耳听黄海说了结婚的事，从今以后就没醋可吃了。 卓越拿了黄海的电话号码，下去打了个电话上来，口气缓和多了：“你们肯定是串通好了的，不然你也不会这么大方地把号码给我了。我不相信，他那样的丑八怪，有谁要？如果真有，那肯定是个--- 丑九怪--- ” “人家以前是系花--- ” 他的语调又凶了起来：“你能不能撒个像样点的谎？系花找个丑八怪？除非她是疯了! ” “她是--- 有点疯---- 听说是男朋友出国了，不要她了，她就有点---- 疯了---- ” 他愣了一下，突然哈哈大笑起来：“哈哈，原来如此，我说呢，像他这样的人还能找到什么像样的人物! 除了疯子和你这样的傻瓜，还有谁会看得上他？哼哼，我看他也就这点本事了，读了A 大又怎么