Chapter 7 121-140

121 Also, she likes to act like a baby to me, which is her strong point. In front of me, she always had a few bends all over her body, and she never seemed to be able to stand up straight. She either twisted around, or stretched out her arms to hug me, and then slipped down. She will act like a baby to me when she is sleepy, she will act like a baby to me when she is thirsty, she will act like a baby to me when she is comfortable, she will act like a baby to me when she is not feeling well, she will act like a baby to me when she is hungry, she will act like a baby to me when she is lonely, she will act like a baby to me when she is sick She wants to act like a spoiled child, even go out shopping with me, and act like a spoiled child to me, as long as I push her away, she will be very upset, when we go out for a walk together, she always grabs me, either by an arm, the hem of the clothes, or the belt That’s okay, anyway, she will stay next to me, if I dare to push her away, she will secretly get angry without saying a word, sometimes leave me alone on purpose, sometimes pout her lips, sometimes ignore me, that is, when we When we came out of the supermarket, each of us carried a shopping bag in each hand, she also had a way to stand next to me.

She had many nicknames for me, and which one she called was entirely up to her mood, and since there were usually only the two of us in the room, I knew that no matter what she called it, it was always referring to me. She calls me "Pervert", "Old Freak" and "Old Bean". When I gain weight, she calls me "Fat Woman". Sometimes she also calls me "Crazy" and "Idiot". He was full of laughter, his voice was sometimes elongated, sometimes it suddenly became higher, in short, it was ever-changing, but he never barked normally. She acted like a baby to me, usually by stretching her waist, and then yelled coquettishly to me: "Old monster, I'm not happy!" Be pampered—this sentence became her mantra within a year or two, and she later changed it to: "No one cares! No one loves!" In this sentence, "No one" is read quickly In the past, the elongated words "care" and "love" were pronounced as accents by her, coupled with her rolled eyes and a "hum", it sounded really indescribably cute.

She always calls me, always calls, one after another, like a baby crying loudly for no reason, in fact, there is no special meaning, I know, she is just acting like a baby, she usually uses this to inform me , she is there, she wants me to know she is there, so I have to answer every call, and in most cases, she is generally satisfied with this and does not continue. 122 Then there is cooking. Buzzing loves to eat my cooking, especially food, no matter what I cook, she loves instant noodles as long as I make them, and also loves quick-frozen dumplings. This is my starting point. Later, my cooking skills improved a little bit, I would give her a toast sandwich, add eggs fried on one side, add butter, add cheese, add salt, add pepper, add chili, add fried sausage, add thin slices Tomatoes, cucumbers, bacon, fresh coffee or milk, or, we also learn from Americans, drink fruit juice in the morning.

Then, our food diversified, at first it was Chinese food, and then it was Western food. In more than a year, I changed from a writer to a "cook". The reputation of "fan" spread far and wide. Relying entirely on reading recipes and experimenting again and again, I mastered the cooking skills and almost created my own signature dish. As my cooking skills improved, more and more people joined me. My friend, there was a time when every weekend, my place was no different from a restaurant, and I had to drive there to buy groceries, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to get them back at all.

123 All of the above are on earth. In bed, I also have one thing that Buzzy loves, and that's my penis. Disclaimer in advance, I have never been a fan of masturbation, and I have no special interest in my penis. I only use masturbation in one situation, and that is when I am alone and have insomnia for days. It's used as a treatment in combination with sleeping pills, I never thought my penis was useful for anything other than sex until the humming, she loves to touch my penis, when we sleep together she always The penis does not leave her hand, she looks like she is holding on to the sheep, even when her back is facing me, she will reach into my crotch and grab it on a whim. In fact, my penis is a fun toy for her. It has infinite charm, which she mentioned to me many times. She thinks it is not only warm, but also soft and hard, very wonderful and easy to touch. I am very happy that she can use her unique vision and not put me sees her penis as a purely kinky object, and sees it as a toy, and I'm proud to be able to get her a toy that she loves for free, in fact, I've never paid for her No toys, and she never asked me for them.

124 And hugs. Hugs all the time. Endless hugs. Buzz needs cuddling like a skin starvation, she needs to be next to me, endlessly next to me, her body is very sensitive and can adapt to all kinds of contact, even if I sit on a table that is narrow enough for only one person Hum can also manage to get close to me in the armchair, she is very dexterous, sometimes, I feel that her position must be very uncomfortable, but she said no at all, she sticks to me, leans against me, holds me up like glue. Looking at me, it seems that we should be a conjoined couple to make her happy, with this big piece of meat, I always have a very soft feeling, not only because of the humming body, but also because of everything about her, she talks Her posture, tone, and her expression, as far as I can see, her expression has never been used to express affection, but to practice a small theater of trickery, and all her performances make me feel Extraordinarily relaxed, natural, and vivid, as life is, and as it should be, and nothing else should spoil it.

125 Is there anything else? Sadly, no more. That's all Buzz wants. 126 In 1997 and 1998, Hum had everything she wanted. She owns me, I am in her hands, I am very patient, docile to her, bow my head and listen to her. Buzzing is extremely happy, walks like a breeze, speaks decisively, and handles affairs neatly. She even complained to her classmates, saying that the old monster with her has no temper at all, and won't even get angry. Isn't this too peaceful? 127 There is only one exception, and that is learning to type by buzzing. Let me explain in advance that I am very bad at teaching others how to learn skills, and my own skills are rarely taught by others. I think I am a person who likes to learn by myself, so I often impose my own interests on others. I am very disgusted with those who like to ask questions. Except for interpersonal relationships, I think that all skills or technologies in the world are nothing special. I did electronic control design after I graduated from university. "Electrician's Handbook", plus a few sets of drawings, I think I have figured out what is going on with the circuit, not to mention programming, no matter what kind of programmable controller, as long as you give me a manual and a programming language, I can It’s not my boasting that I can cope with it freely. Technical things will always be a piece of cake in my eyes. As long as I understand the principle, I will be fine with even the most outrageous technology. I’m very arrogant in this respect.Gates is treated as a scientist, but as a computer operating system technician. His money-making tool-the system platform with 2,000 patches is a scammer's cover for money. Sometimes I think he is cheating. There are too many, because as the basis of technology, scientists who discovered scientific principles did not reap such great benefits. American launch vehicles did not pay any tax on the use of "Newton's theorem" to the descendants of Newton's relatives and friends. Yes, as long as you can add, subtract, multiply and divide, you can use the theorems discovered by Newton to calculate the trajectory of the rocket. It is easy to know how to add, subtract, multiply and divide, and it is not difficult to achieve fast and accurate algorithms. The difficulty lies in the discovery of natural theorems, which is even more difficult The most important thing is the noble character of scientists, they will not reach out to your wallet just because you use the fruits of his labor.

The words went too far. 128 One day, Buzzing looked at me typing Chinese characters on the computer, and felt very mysterious, so I wanted to learn. I taught her the five-stroke typing method. Minutes rule, humming began to type, I saw her sitting in front of the computer, shaking her head, like a big mouse, looking at the root table for a while, then looking at the character to be typed, and then typing the next key, and then typing. One key, knocked a few times, and then forgot the rules I told her, and then she asked me: "Why can't I type?" I told the rules again, she nodded speciously, and continued to type, but The error was still there, I asked her if I understood what I said, and she said she understood, but in fact, she didn’t figure it out—I pointed this out and reminded her not to pretend to understand, the voice was a little higher, buzzing suddenly Said: "Go as you go, I will do it myself!" Before the words fell, the circles of the eyes turned red, and then tears fell down.

I coaxed her, but she yelled at me: "We dancers are uneducated, and we don't know how to pretend to know, what's wrong?" 129 In fact, after three days, Hum was able to type briskly using the Wubi font. She was very smart, but I was an impatient person. As for Hum, she used this to act like a baby to me many times, saying that I was fierce. she. Sometimes she walks up and down in front of me with dignity: "What are you doing with your voice so loud that day?" Or she puts her arms around me and says, "You're so fierce, I'm crying!" Or, she points my nose with her index finger:" Don't be like this in the future, I'm scared!"

130 Day by day, spring came, spring passed, summer came, summer passed, autumn came, autumn passed, winter came, winter passed, and spring came again. What did I do in those days? I think, I am creating fairy tales with Hum, this sounds like some kind of worthless performance art, but I am like this, like taking some kind of drug under Hum, I become A buzzing imitator. I also nicknamed Hum, I called her Big Mouse, I called her Little Rookie, I called her Baby, and I called her something else. I sometimes ask her: What happened to the little rookie? She said to me casually: The little rookie is sleepy, the little rookie is hungry, the little rookie is tired, the little rookie is bored, and so on.

This kind of dialogue sounds very nasty, but it is the language of life at our stage. I also cook for Humong, I go to the street to buy vegetables, I sit in the study and look through recipes, I go into the kitchen, and cook delicious dishes by the side of the hot pot, the delicacies that both Humong and I love. I also go out for walks with Buzz. Although I don't have much money on hand, it allows me to maintain a normal life that is not too tight. Of course, I also fucked with Buzz, for a while we fucked almost every day. My weight skyrocketed to the point where I had to re-buy all my underwear. Hum and I went to Silk Street next to Guiyou Shopping Center to buy. We hang around one piece of shoddy clothing after another, haggle with the vendors, change into the cheap clothes we just bought on the spot, and then we leave the stall dressed like two wild models. Both Hum and I love to wear cheap and fashionable clothes, as well as fake name brands. 131 It was a mediocre life, intoxicatingly mediocre, and I was so addicted to it that when I recalled those two years, my mind was blurry, because one day was too close to the other. Close, too much alike, to be unrecognizable, in my eyes, that time mingled with the hum, as sweet as honey, and the hum that was with me became as fragrant and charming as chocolate. I regularly buy books and VCDs, and read "World Film History", "World Film Appreciation Dictionary", "World Art History", "Foreign Music Dictionary", "Chinese Painting and Calligraphy Appreciation Dictionary".You know, I read these boring readings word by word without paying attention to them. I am so patient because life is so peaceful. Read the Encyclopedia Britannica. I no longer care about the masterpiece I am about to write, I am at peace, floating in the illusion of life, and feel very comfortable and happy, I forget my desires, because my desires are all satisfied, in fact, I have no life I live in reason, but I live in emotion through and through, in a live newspaper drama written and acted by myself. Sometimes, I also want to make a fortune in society, but I keep pushing and pushing, and I am too lazy to do it. Comfort yourself: I want to face the illusion, indulge in it, enjoy it, and never share the truth of life. I am not a character like Spinoza. I can suffer from them, but it will be in vain One time, I couldn't even catch the shadow of the truth, because I don't have the ability to really touch the truth, and it is my strong point to get lost in the illusion effortlessly. 132 Language is the beginning of illusion, an illusion, and the most believable illusion of all illusions. When I write, language appears in the form of words. I write and write until I dare to believe the illusion. To the point, through those square characters, I walked lightly in the hallucinations, and continued word by word. Those words were endowed with a certain meaning through a certain arrangement and combination, but what kind of meaning is it?I can't explain it, I just often feel that hallucinations will suddenly appear on the words, like ice cubes floating in the sea, and then everything will stop, the meaning will disappear, and things will show their true colors, Empty and difficult to recognize, I suddenly woke up, and I found that I was in a dream. 133 Yes, I am in a dream, I am writing, I am writing in a loose and simple style, I am writing in memory, I am writing buzzing, a girl, a piece of chocolate cake with cream, a soft and juicy fruit , a beauty, a tear, a heart. But what about the buzz at the moment?She is more than ten kilometers away from me, I know she is there, she is there now, she is still in that song and dance troupe, she may have fallen asleep, maybe she is in another place, wearing revealing and fancy costumes Dancing on the karaoke stage, maybe, she is still watching TV in someone else's dormitory, chatting with her friends, and I am sitting at the computer, sitting in the smell of the past, sitting in my seat , the seat next to me that Hum Hum used to sit on was empty, and Hum Hum no longer pretended to flip through my manuscripts, commented on what I wrote, and said, "Oh, old monster, what are you doing?" It’s shameless to write like this!” I no longer asked me: “Old monster, is there really such a person as you wrote about?” I am familiar with the humming life, the past life, our common life, I am familiar with it, and she is also familiar with it, we are very emotional about that way of life, even, for a long time, we are used to that kind of life Emotional way, but if you want to tell it, it is not easy, very difficult, because it is difficult to express clearly, it is difficult to express clearly, and it is difficult to write clearly. 134 Emotions are in many cases hallucinatory in character, as, for example, in music, which is a form of emotion, emotion appears as a rhythmic illusion, rising and falling, stagnating, developing, changing—however, I Still can't see emotion for what it is, only when it appears in a certain form, I recognize it, like my heart beats faster, my breath is short of breath, I want to laugh, I worry, etc. When emotion disappears, reason takes its place Its original place, but I can't tell whether reason is also a form of emotion, or has some common part with emotion, reason looks more like someone else's, even the prejudices in reason seem like someone else's, but emotion It is always the ego, which is always there, vague and unrecognizable. Illusion is the dance part of emotion, colorful, colorful, ever-changing, it has no beginning, and of course, no end, it goes on and on, changing faces, and as I write, the illusion makes me think I'm still alive, I'm Still independent of the whole world, I realize only in my waking hours that I may never have been born, never written, that I am only an illusion of mine, and the world is an illusion of mine, that I and this world overlap, and, each other Turn a blind eye, let alone talk. Only then did I wake up, I knew, I was deluded by my imagination, I was doing my solo dance in hallucinations, it was a silly dance, rambling, talking, nothing significance. 135 But I am far from awake now, I am immersed in the past, immersed in the illusion of the past, as I said, I am writing in superstition, I am very superstitious in my words, in the words, I recall superstitiously, I am stubbornly looking for the familiar footsteps of buzzing, and I listen carefully with curiosity. Is it buzzing?Is that what humming walks look like?Is that her laugh?The hand on my shoulder messes with my hair, is that what Hum did? Yes, that's her, it's her, it's all her - I'm talking to her, asking and answering, in the old days, in those gone days, MTV was playing on my TV, the table The above is the dinner just finished, 6 empty plates are put together unevenly, and there are leftover spaghetti inside, and Lao Wei, Xiaochun, Feifei and Lu Xiaoqing are sitting on my lap beside me, Xiaochun was drinking beer and hugging Feifei's neck, Lu Xiaoqing was taking a bath, and Lao Wei was carrying my home video camera, ready to rush into the bathroom and take pictures of Lu Xiaoqing's naked body in his youth. 136 It was a happy and lively time, and I don’t even have many regrets when I recall it. Three men and three women gathered at my place all day long, eating together, watching movies, listening to music, chatting, joking, and even went out to skate a few times like a rejuvenated child. Bing, as if living every day counts, we almost communism, almost a wife, and we are very close to the utopian ideal of ordinary people, and that was in the middle of 1998. 137 This kind of consummation is due to Lu Xiaoqing. For Lao Wei, the appearance of Lu Xiaoqing is like the apparition of the Virgin Mary and smoke from the ancestral tomb, without the need for three prostrations and nine knocks. This involves another characteristic of Lao Wei. In private, I think he has a kind of superstition about me, thinking that as long as he hangs around me often, besides seeing that I get a girl, he will also be able to get a satisfactory girl. It doesn't matter that he received it himself, the interesting thing is that his superstition has worked again, I mean, what Lao Wei never expected is that at the age of 29 when his hair disappeared At an advanced age, he actually found his ideal lover. In order to make it clear, I have to talk about Lao Wei and his love history. 138 Lao Wei’s first girlfriend was introduced by me, named Song Xiaoyun, we all called her Lao Yun, it was a protracted battle, from the first time the two had sex to when Lao Yun went to someone else’s bed, it lasted 8 years , The small twists and turns in the meantime can't affect the mutual love between the two, of course, this kind of mutual love is not equal, Lao Wei loves more, Lao Yun loves less, but how can you care about it?The main reason affecting the relationship between the two is Lao Wei's lack of progress. Lao Yun's mother has described this quite accurately. She said that Lao Wei "belongs to others when he is good", that is, "the steps are smaller, and people appear The older you are, the less money you earn." But Lao Yun is just the opposite. By the time they broke up, Lao Yun earned 5 times as much money as Lao Wei every month, but she looked 5 times younger than Lao Wei. At first, this made her a little unbalanced. "Old White Face" does not conform to the traditional habits of Chinese citizens, so, for the sake of tradition, she killed him. One thing that has a decisive impact on the two is buying a house. Lao Yun and Lao Wei had sworn to each other to marry each other before going to bed for the first time, the depth of which is admirable. If it is convenient, the two could go hand in hand to the Miao Village in Yunnan, and plant different seeds for each other. Fortunately, they didn't really do that, otherwise they would be even crazier now.Having said that, in order to realize the vow of marriage, the two began to save money to buy a house. You know, for many people, it is not realistic to get married in the open air. The reality is that they need to have a house of their own. You can do whatever you want inside, and for the house, Lao Wei is particularly important. He was very romantic as early as his youth. When I thought of fooling around with a girl, Lao Wei had already thought that after marriage, he could get married. Curtains, hugging his wife and listening to Teresa Teng dancing naked face-to-face. Unfortunately, although this is not prohibited by law, many public places do not allow people to do this. Therefore, "you must have your own house." Wei thought so. Lao Wei, who held this idea, convinced Lao Yun to think the same way, so the two fought for the house. At first, Lao Yun, who was a nurse, saved money alone. After Lao Wei graduated from university, the two saved together. People use a passbook, and they take turns depositing every little money they earn in it like a competition. They fancy a bungalow, which costs 10,000 yuan. Social fashion told them that a one-story house is not called a house, but a nest, and the so-called house for marriage should be at least a one-bedroom, because a one-bedroom has the advantages of being able to defecate at home and cooking with gas, so the two rallied again. Sailing, full speed forward, they took a fancy to a one-bedroom apartment in an old building, which cost 30,000 yuan, they saved 30,000 yuan, but the house price rose to 50,000 yuan, so, in order to save money faster, Lao Yun jumped out of the hospital , came to a foreign baby milk powder company to do promotion, Lao Wei was unlucky, and changed several jobs, and the more he changed, the more wrong it became. Under such circumstances, the two stubbornly saved up to 50,000 yuan. , social fashion changed again, a one-bedroom apartment for a wedding was seen as inappropriate because there was no room for a child, and the lifestyle of children sleeping between their parents was suddenly seen as immoral, as one to five years old was deemed not to be stealing sex This new discovery marks the coming of the age of civilization, and the years of "wife and children are hot on the kang" are gone forever, so the two went straight to the two-bedroom house. The price of the two-bedroom old house is 80,000 yuan. At the time of the goal, the social fashion changed again, and the old house was no longer suitable as a residence for newlyweds, because the wires of the old house could not drive too many electrical appliances, especially in summer, the air conditioner could not be turned on, and it was no longer popular in the society after having sex with sweat , and have to catch the big mosquito bites. In short, in order to have smooth sex in summer, and then take a good bath, the two people's requirements have been raised again. This time, it is a two-bedroom new house. They fell into the abyss again, because when they saved 200,000 yuan, they could only buy a house in the suburbs. In order to go to work in the city, they had to buy another car. So far, the two have been working together for 8 years. Therefore, the relatively smart old Yun felt that something was wrong. As a woman, she sensitively discovered that the reason why she always felt like she couldn't keep up with her was because she was standing behind social fashion. Youthful and passionate, trying to catch up, but it still doesn't help. Fashion is the rags thrown away by those who run ahead. If it is compared to a famous brand fashion, then wearing it to Lao Yun has become a net bag full of loopholes. If she wanted to get out of this circle, she had to stand in front, so she got rid of Lao Wei, took advantage of the remaining beauty, and sniffed out a rich man. Unfortunately, the good times didn't last long, the rich man had already made an appointment with another woman , and Lao Yun found that even if she squeezed out that woman, in the end, she would still be squeezed out by younger girls, so she retreated. After a year of exploration, Lao Yun still couldn't figure it out, and finally fell into confusion . For Lao Wei, things went bad. Lao Yun broke his promise and he regarded it as cheating, so Lao Yun became a bad person in Lao Wei's eyes. Bad, so he thought about it again and again, and came to the conclusion that Lao Yun is not bad, but has made mistakes, as long as he corrects, he will become better, and Lao Yun has suffered a lot outside, so he has been forcibly punished. Sending a strange man to punish Lao Yun's betrayal shows that the social atmosphere is very upright, but why doesn't it sound like that? After some consideration, Lao Wei still forgave Lao Yun in his heart. He thought that she had suffered enough punishment, so he wanted to get her back and let her go. ? So he decided to go to her, and he was going to forgive her after hearing her confession, and then turn the fight into friendship. Unfortunately, this matter is different for Lao Yun. She believes that Lao Wei is the real mistake she made, and she dumped him to correct the mistake. Under such circumstances, what would be the result of Lao Wei going to Lao Yun? He didn't listen to my persuasion, he held flowers in his hand, and went happily once, twice, three times, but was turned away by Lao Yun as a rude person.At this time, the kind old Wei couldn't stop his grief from it, and he could hardly control himself. Although it was difficult, he had to admit that he was completely wrong, and even his life was a mistake, and he had made mistakes again and again. Until nothing is wrong. 139 So, Lao Wei, who was hurt and alone, came to me and pinned his hopes on me again, hoping that I could get a girl for her so that he would be hurt again. At first, I gave him a drink of Longhui Dry Red, listening to sadness and resentment The soaring old jazz made him feel the pain of the more unfortunate black Americans. After he was comforted and better, I listened to white classical music for him to emphasize that although life is unsatisfactory, the beneficiaries are still The human heart, old Wei Bingxue is smart, and he heard the sweetness of life from Western music at once. The memory of the past did not make him avoid the pain, but made him determined to try his skills again, just like Musset said in the poem, "On top of my old wounds, new wounds can stand." The failure to introduce Buzzing didn't make him feel sad. On the contrary, he felt more hopeful, thinking that there must be a better girl waiting for him than Buzzing. One fell in love with him. For this reason, he came to me twice as often, and read art books and art films at my place to receive artistic influence. He would come to every meal of mine, and he was busy with his work. Why did he go to SOGO to buy steak? Ah, what about picking up and sending off girls? Participating in everything, maybe in private, he thinks that only girls with an artistic temperament can understand him. Not to mention, hard work pays off. Om Feifei is the girl who made changes together. 140 The so-called speculation is to perform in the dance hall in the middle of the night, and dance for half an hour every night. Each dancer can earn 100 to 150 yuan. But once it is down, it is difficult to go up again. This is a sad thing for professional dancers. The taste of the audience in the song and dance hall determines the type of dance danced by the dancers. Of course, for girls like buzzing Feifei , dancing that kind of dance is easy and boring, and I went out to dance for a while when I was bored in the dormitory, so I met Lu Xiaoqing during the process of making changes. When I come and go, I often invite Lu Xiaoqing to my place for dinner. After two or three visits, Lao Wei will put on Lu Xiaoqing. Lao Wei is Liming, and after a long time, there is no need to be polite to each other. Therefore, Lao Wei calls Lu Xiaoqing Sun Wukong, and Lu Xiaoqing calls Lao Wei Zhu Bajie. In short, this small incident shows that both parties have strong observation skills. How accurate is it?In fact, too much observation ability is sometimes not good, especially when this ability is used to observe the opponent's shortcomings.