Chapter 12 111-120

111 I am used to working at night, contrary to Yuan Xiaochen's time, she always wants to correct me and ask me to sleep with her, according to her, it's like being together, but unfortunately I can't do anything during the day, it's hot, I just want to Staying at home with the air conditioner on, and Yuan Xiaochen's ideal is that when she comes in after work, we will do it together first, and then when it is just dark, go out hand in hand to enjoy the breeze, and sit at the night market by the roadside, She drinks some beer, eats some crayfish, chats with me, and then comes back to watch the TV

TV, and then sleep together, in order to sleep soundly, it is best to do it again before going to bed, get up early the next morning, go out for breakfast together, I sent her to the taxi, she stretched her neck in front of the taxi driver I kissed me goodbye outside the car window, and then I stood on the side of the road and watched her go away. Ideally, I would raise my right arm and wave a few times in the air towards the taxi going away, so that she could look back.The supplementary clause is that if she doesn't work at night, she can make up for it in the morning, so that she can go to work with peace of mind, and spend the day at the company in an amiable and smiling manner.

It's quite arranging. "I don't have any pursuits, it's fine like this. If you become famous in the future, I will resign and go home, give you a child, and watch it for myself. You can lie on the computer to earn money. We will rely on the children when we grow old." , if you can't do it, don't have this child, and you won't have the conditions to raise it well. I will feel distressed to see the child become a bastard like you. Let's do it. Let's split up and work hard if we see something wrong , find a nanny to take care of us when we get old." This is her plan for the future.

112 The reality is that our future is far out of reach, and the present is muddling along.She once went to see the house with others, but was ridiculed by me: "Don't do the installment payment! Paying so much interest to the bank makes me angry when I see it. If we can’t keep up with the earthquake, we can live for a thousand years. Think about it, how long can we live? Who will buy a big house? Isn’t it a waste of money for the next 900 years? Possessing it is better than eating it." Yuan Xiaochen became anxious when he heard this: "That's right, don't buy it! If I break up with you, who will this house belong to? It's better to save money and use it flexibly. The next boyfriend may have a big house, and he will live in it at that time." There it is."

I nodded yes. She recalled it: "You have no long-term plans with me at all! Tell me, you spend me sucking my youth all day long, what should I do if you suck my youth away?" 113 Yuan Xiaochen would worry when she thought of our future without a plan, but when she saw my blank expression, that worry disappeared like a cloud blown away by the wind. In fact, the relationship between us has quietly changed. In ordinary people's terms, it is called "slowly, we have feelings between us". That feeling is an inexplicable thing, a habit like dependence, and a taste cultivated together. In short, our views on things are basically the same, although the reasons put forward are different, but It's better than the kind of people who can't talk together.In short, the idea of ​​substitution has never arisen.

114 In fact, we spent it. The theme of our life together is laziness, we do nothing but spend time together every day.Every day is empty like nothing, and our eyes also become empty. Sometimes, when I play the music, she is dazed, and she still says she didn’t hear it after a long time, but I actually feel that the sound of the music has nothing to do with me. Soon, because of the air conditioner blowing on at night, I lost my chance and fell ill. Within two days, she also fell ill knowingly. She asked for leave, and we were still lazy. Don't do it, concentrate on recuperating. After recovering from the illness, we acted boringly like old people. When we talked to each other, the other party would ignore me. For a while, no matter what she said to me, I would answer her: "I didn't hear."

If it was her, it would be changed to: "Say it again." 115 Of course, there are many times of high spirits, and they are irritating and violent, in order to emphasize the importance of self, and doing things has become a common thing in our life. One day, I saw her enter the bathroom, so I ambushed at the door Down, as soon as she went out, I yelled, she was startled, and then, after recovering, she slapped my arm, which hurt, she always does this, maybe to make out with me or to displease me, anyway , there are always some reasons for her to hit me or pinch me, to take advantage of it, sometimes it is quite painful, if I ignore her, she will smile at me contentedly, and the matter will pass, but I don’t know that day Why did I fight back and hit her leg, she suddenly became interested, with an unbelievable expression on her face, and then kicked me on the leg, she had just finished kicking, and her hand hadn't been retracted yet , my slap came first, and hit her arm quickly and painfully. She was stunned, with an angry look on her face for a moment, and suddenly slapped me on the face, and I felt a burst of heat. She felt the pain, so she hit back faster, and it hit her forehead, and there was a red mark, she punched me in the face, I blocked it with my arm, and it hit her. On the arm, she was so painful that tears came out of her eyes, but she still kicked my calf hard, jumped up and stepped on my feet, shouting loudly: "It hurts like hell! It hurts like hell! Don’t let her! I don’t feel sorry for anyone at all! Ah, I’m in so much pain——” she cried, crying loudly, tears flowing into a river, and she was so angry that she kept hitting me. I grabbed her arm She lay in my arms and hugged me, as if on the one hand she was afraid that I would hit her again, and on the other hand she was seeking protection from me.

I hugged her, and she found that she was safe, so she kept acting like a baby to me: "Can you hit me?" "Who beat you, playing with you." "Say, do you want to fight?" "do not fight." "You almost killed me." "real?" "Died several times. So hard!" "Okay, I won't fight anymore." "Look, here, here, and here are all red, my mother has never hit me like this, you are so cruel." She began to look for the scars carefully, and opened the mirror of the makeup box to take a look, "Ah, look This part on the forehead is bulging, hit me, hit me again!" She became angry as she spoke, and hit my arm several times angrily, "Are you still going to hit me?"

"I won't fight anymore." "Then rub it for me, it won't hurt anymore." She gently stretched out a thin arm and put it next to my mouth, "Blow first." I blew, and she looked at me with a satisfied smile on her face, and then the smile turned into grievance, "You still kick me, wish you could kick me out of the house, so you can find a new girl, don't you? Look at me Not pleasing to the eye, is it?" "No, besides, I didn't kick you, you are talking nonsense." "You kicked, you just kicked, I watched the kick, and almost broke my leg! Thinking about it, I get angry, almost crazy!"

"Okay, okay, I won't kick." "Do you still dare to do this in the future?" "Then will you still move your hands?" "I hit you is different from you hitting me, you are domestic violence!" "how about you?" "I beat for pain, scold for love, do you understand me? So ignorant!" "Why did I become violent when it was my turn?" "You don't know the severity, one hit is equal to three hits, no! It's ten! It hurts me to death!" She trembled as if she had been hit again in memory, "Stop hitting me, hit me again, I'm leaving, I don't care about you."

I hugged her, kissed her once, kissed again, she was happy, hugged me and kissed again, like a small animal, after a while, she squeezed and crawled to sit on my lap, hooked her arms on my lap On my neck, staring at me without blinking, said: "I love you, even if you hit me, I love you too." Looking at her wet eyes, a trace of tenderness welled up in my heart. I hugged her and said, "I won't hit you again." "Then I'll let you fuck me." She was even happier, "Remember, when you hit me, you can't use your strength, but when you fuck me——" "What's the matter?" "On the contrary!" she said, bouncing up and down excitedly. 116 Sex is the panacea for reconciliation in life, entertainment, enjoyment, passion depends on sex, a single shot can resolve all disputes, it will always be like this, sex is also an intermittent sea breeze that can raise the sails of life , Let life unrelentingly sail towards the future.In short, we are born into the kind of people who, as soon as they are full, sex is everything, and everything else is bullshit. 117 In September, Yuan Xiaochen’s company’s top management changed, internal adjustments were made, and there was a ten-day holiday. It is said that some people will be fired. It is also said that Yuan Xiaochen is not on the list. When she heard the news, she discussed it with me as soon as she came back. How do you spend these ten days? "Go home and see your parents." I suggested. "Half a day is enough," she said. "Don't you want to travel abroad? Go to Europe." I suggested, "Let's go for a walk on the streets of Paris at night. It's romantic. If you don't feel like it, drink a few more glasses." "Farmers! Traveling abroad? You can still consider going with public funds, but you must not go at your own expense!" "Why don't you go?" "I worked for foreigners for a year, and then spent half a month going around their place, just to see what they put in with our labor. It's sick! Let me I’m still angry if it’s for nothing, not to mention self-payment. Self-payment means returning all the money earned by working as a cow and a horse, understand? Am I crazy? I’m so cheap when I work for others and return their wages. If you want to spend money, spend it in China, preferably in Beijing!" "Damn it, if the Chinese people had your wisdom, the damn country would have hoped long ago." "That's right, let the 1.2 billion people learn from me." "Learn from you? I want to hear what to learn from you? Tell me about your plan." "Fuck you!" "Interrupt? I can't stand it! Besides, listen to me, this is not our strong point. There are many people who are good at sex!" "Yeah, you're so smart that you even know this, so many people are rushing to this matter, think about why?" "Why? Isn't it just rough stimulation? It's like going crazy after a while, and the disease will be cured after a basin of cold water." "Get out! I should have given you a bath when you were about to cum, and see if you can still talk nonsense like this!" "I'm talking nonsense? You call spreading the truth nonsense? I'd like to hear your opinion. Come on—" "It goes without saying, it's obvious, think about it, it doesn't cost money, but you can enjoy it, you can make people's faces jump, but you can't be shy, and you can torture you to death, my little white-collar worker still thinks in his heart Happy--" "Okay, you're good at dialectics." "I did well in politics." "That's so vulgar! Just know how to shoot!" "Little white-collar worker has been pushed around all day long, and his head is dizzy. After returning home, he hurriedly eats a couple of simple meals, and then leans on you. Can't you see what I'm thinking about? You Look at you—you don’t even shoot guns,” she suddenly frowned, and her voice increased tenfold, “Is it impossible? Is this still a human life? Tell me, how can I survive without guns? ah!" She looked at me, and I kept a straight face on purpose, without saying a word. Seeing me like this, she felt that something was going on, so she changed to a soft tone and continued: "Furthermore, in the book introducing S/M I said it all, sex is just to find the feeling of being abused! Our second boss abuses and oppresses me mentally every day. You are my big boss, so there is no place for you mentally. Let’s start with my body Humph! I don’t blame anyone, I just blame my own fate, I was born to be abused, come——” I laughed. Seeing that she had succeeded in performing, she became even more energetic, so she raised her arms high, clenched her hands into small fists, raised her eyebrows, and said in a loud voice: "Come on, hold me down and rape me! If you listen to me, I will kill you right now." Solemnly declare—the little white-collar worker will be crushed by you from now on and cannot stand up!" Then he ran to the bed in a hurry. 118 Paradise in Beijing in October. At dusk, even the wind is lazy, not blowing the leaves, and the colorful sunset lies between the tall buildings, like a huge and gorgeous surreal painting, and the fleeting scent of food in the air is like Awakened by magic, it passed by the cheeks, and then disappeared with the clear human voice from a distance. Sitting on the side of the road, the smoke can rise straight into the transparent air, and the smoke can be seen clearly for half a day. The shape, in an instant, can make people feel that the world is for appreciation rather than living. "Hey, what are you thinking?" Yuan Xiaochen asked me. At this moment, we are sitting on a cruise ship in Beihai Park. I let go of the oars and let the boat float on the water by itself. "I was thinking, autumn is here," I said. "What's wrong?" "Nice weather," I said. "That's because there are beauties accompanying you for free." Yuan Xiaochen kicked me. "Thank you." I said. "Hey, we don't even quarrel, isn't it boring to stay together?" "I don't know, I don't care." "How could I muddle along with you in a daze?" Yuan Xiaochen looked at me intently and sighed. "You really spoke from my heart." I spit in her direction. 119 Sometimes, I find life monotonous and tiresome, habits rule everything, eating and sleeping beat out the basic rhythm of life, you meet strangers, in various places, but have nothing to do with you, and familiar people are So few, these people are almost your right-hand man in life, and leaving any one of them will make you feel uneasy just thinking about it. Generally speaking, your interest in life depends entirely on your interest in strangers. , stable income, my interest in strangers is decreasing day by day, I am a bit cold, lack of emotion for everything, the novels I write are published one after another, they are almost the same stuff, at first, I thought it was very fresh, then, I I think it’s boring, maybe it’s because I’m no longer a stranger to my feelings, and I can even predict when I’ll be angry and when I’ll be happy. I’m in my field of vision, and the real world in front of me is just like this. Putting the raging waves of my heart into the sea of ​​people is really not worth mentioning. One day, I clearly realized that I am just a part of the luxurious chorus of the whole society. It seems that it doesn't matter whether I make a sound. Tomorrow, united by fantasy and hope, is just a biological process of ambiguous meaning, and I can only see everything in this way: that is a new car, that is an old sin, and that, is a new Games, that's all. If I think about the relationship between those things and me, I have a mediocre feeling, a sense of steadfastness that I have never had before, and it enters my heart. I am a little passive and lazy. What they thought would be an earth-shattering event, I always asked in my heart: "So what?" The answer is, nothing, that's all.So, I didn't even bother to go. 120 Suddenly, without knowing why, I became obsessed with gambling, also known as hoeing the earth. It is a kind of four-player poker, and the money is calculated according to the score. The way others play determines who wins or loses, and the four check each other, whoever has a bad card, the remaining three will attack him, and whoever has a good card, the remaining three will escape separately. Will rise from the heart by itself, catch good cards, hope stronger, catch dead cards , can only be left to chance with a little luck, after a round, if you succeed, you will be happy, otherwise, you will be very unhappy, but hope is always there, and the next round will start in a moment. I would say that this game is exactly like the poker version of life. Coincidentally, I, Jiancheng, Daqing and Lao Bai were obsessed with this game at the same time, so we played in the dark, we almost gave up everything, just to play cards, no matter in a dark bar, restaurant, or coffee shop, We took out pens and papers and poker at any time, without any explanation, and sat down to play. Once, we played in a dark disco, playing for five hours a dozen, unmoved by the surrounding environment, and others were stunned. Even if you don't have enough people, you have to play. Even if you teach a novice, you don't worry about trouble. No matter what, you have to take him on the road immediately. Not to mention others, just me, every day in the dream is endless playing cards. As we became more and more focused on the game, the party became colder. In the end, we didn’t care about anything but playing cards. We played as long as we could, just like four extremely boring students. At that time, the sky was dark and the sky was dark, and we didn’t think about eating and drinking. Now think about it Feel incredible.