Chapter 43 Chapter Forty-Three

If two people who write to each other at the same time have the same feeling for each other—an affection bordering on despair—it is probable that what happens is that their letters meet at some central post office, and the writing Those who believe will be separated from each other, and meeting will become imaginary distant mountains, both so indifferent and indifferent to the following life. When Lou Hong wrote a letter to Geng Lin, Geng Lin also went to the restaurant where Wang Shu had been before his death.In the hotel bar, Geng Lin thought of his old friend Wang Shu again, what he said to him before his death, and the wish he had hidden in his heart for many years.Then he remembered that Peng Li called him recently and told him that she was going to get married... For some reason, he wanted to laugh, thinking that life was just a big deception; but he couldn't laugh because he had to admit that life was also fair of.

Geng Lin took out a pen and paper, drank a few sips of beer, and knew how he should write this last letter to Lou Hong.And what he wants to write now is very different from what he thought on the way here.At the same time, he knew that this had something to do with thinking about Wang Shu's life; but he didn't understand why sometimes he saw the face of life clearly through Wang Shu.Perhaps only the distance created by death can make people see a little further.In any case, facing the decision he has made, he is very calm. There is a saying: Character is your destiny.Whenever Geng Lin retreated to the last corner, he would think of this sentence; whenever he thought of this sentence, most of the inner conflicts would subside.

Lou Hong: Hello! I don't seem to have written to you, nor have I written to any other woman, so you can easily imagine how pale and unromantic my life was.Perhaps because of this, you can also understand why I am so infatuated with you, and I was completely conquered by you all at once.I used to be ridiculous, right? Let me talk about that woman first. Anyway, you left me like that after hearing me talk about this woman.To be honest, I still don't understand why I didn't chase you, carried you back, and explained to you that night instead of delaying until now.I didn't do that, probably because I felt that I could no longer do anything to you as confidently as before, so I shrank back.

Up to now, I have only known that woman for a few days and met once.I'd better tell you what happened, so that you won't feel uncomfortable thinking about it occasionally in the future.That night was the first time I went "behind" since your injury and I missed you so much and wanted to ask you out.I don't mean to ask you for a reason when I write this. I just want to say that this is a psychological process. If there is no quarrel between us, I will not bring this woman back to the residence. The woman was sitting alone in the bar, and she didn't look like a bar frequenter.When I suggested that she go back with me, I was taken aback by the fact that she followed me without protesting.But I have no way out.When I was chatting with her, she briefly talked about her life experience: she just got divorced, and the reason for the divorce was very simple. Her husband was caught by the police for molesting women in the park.She said that she couldn't imagine killing her. Her husband could do such a thing. He was a very honest high school teacher.

Life is like that sometimes, it leaves you dumbfounded.But everyone reacts differently in such situations.This woman is very weak, and she can't bear the fact that she can't bear it, but her solution is not to make trouble, but to find a new man as soon as possible.She aroused my sympathy, and I sincerely warned her not to drink in the future.Already found a man.But her answer surprised me. She said she met me on the road and followed me in.She said that she could see from my face that I was also a person with scars on my heart. Lou Hong, I don't know if you can forgive me, no matter you leave me or not, please accept my apology, deep apology.Now I'm going to tell you about this evening.Because she said that, I was also touched, so I did the last thing.It was always clear to me that it wasn't love, or even simple attraction, but mutual compassion.We were like two useless things thrown away, coming together and giving each other what little comfort we had.

After this happened, I started getting really restless.I took her home and she said she was waiting for my call.I wandered the street alone for a long time that night, regretting what happened.I have been thinking, maybe you are capricious, playing childish temper, not really want to leave me, but this will really make you decide to leave me.Although you haven't explicitly proposed to break up at this time, I have already felt it from your attitude. Then I slowly calmed down, because I stopped trying to convince myself or lie to myself.I could have done better things than this without you, and I'm telling the truth, you certainly know more or less how a lot of men live these days.

Even though I think so, sometimes my heart suddenly becomes chaotic, I always want to struggle, I want to try again to keep you.All aspects of you are still very attractive to me, so I still can't help but call you.It should be said that I have always had a fluke mentality, until I came to this restaurant on the way, I still expected so. I brought you to the bar of this hotel, because Wang Shu talked with me here before he died.Sitting here, I suddenly became enlightened, why should I fight my life? !Can anyone make it this far?No matter how much I hope, it is useless. If our fate is destined to end here, no one can recover.Now you will laugh at me for being so fateful. In fact, I just think there is nothing wrong with believing in today. Sometimes it makes life easier. If I push everything to fate, I don’t have to think about it.

Lou Hong, I've said everything I thought, but I still want to ask you solemnly again, do you really want me anymore?Yeah?If not, I still hope you can forgive me for this one and only mistake, and let's start over. If so, Lou Hong, let me finish the following. I have seriously thought that one day I will marry you as my wife, and I am willing to be the most exemplary husband and compensate you for all the pain you have suffered for me. I think I will never forget the scars on your face in this life, and I I may never have the chance to do something about it again. Believe me, the following words are neither big words nor lies. They come from my heart and will always be valid.For the happiness and love you bring me, I am willing to do anything I can do for you.If you encounter difficulties in the future, please think of me and treat me as a sincere big brother. I will help you no matter what, no matter whose husband, father or grandfather I am.

The last thing I can say is that I hope your future life is happy and safe, and everything goes well. Geng Lin It was already midnight before Liu Yun returned to sleep in the small room behind the office.At dawn, the doctor on duty called Liu Yun.she says: "Fifteen minutes ago, Luoyang was connected to the room, the heart rate was more than 160 per minute, and the left atrial pressure was high." Liu Yun came to the intensive care unit, approached Luoyang's bed, looked at the monitoring equipment first, and then leaned over to check Luoyang's physical signs.Luo Yang, who was wearing a ventilator, opened his eyes with difficulty, but closed them again immediately, as if he had no strength to support his eyelids and was very weak.Liu Yun looked again at what she needed to know. During this period, she found that Luo Yang had been working hard, opening his eyes a little longer, maybe he wanted to express something.Liu Yun didn't pay attention to these things. She realized that the situation in Luoyang was not optimistic, so she couldn't care about Luoyang's emotions in a semi-comatose state.

Liu Yun called Hou Bo, and they didn't disagree at all this time. They decided to perform a second surgery on Luoyang—a valve replacement, and the sooner the better. On the morning of the operation, Liu Yun came to Luoyang's bed alone.He was still on a ventilator because of heart failure, but he was conscious.Hou Bo specifically asked Liu Yun to explain to Luoyang alone. Liu Yun didn't understand Hou Bo's intentions at first. Hou Bo said that his appearance would make Luoyang more sad. Now this is unnecessary, and no one has time to think about it right now. Or choose, all you have to do is decide, and this time it's up to the doctor to make the decision.Liu Yun could understand Hou Bo's mood, and he probably regretted that he didn't insist.

Luo Yang slowly opened his eyes when he felt someone approaching.His face was covered with a breathing machine, and Liu Yun could only understand his feelings through his eyes. "I have to do another operation on you." Liu Yun leaned over to Luoyang and said softly. Luo Yang closed his eyes to show that he understood. "Not much else to say, I'll explain it to you in detail after the operation is over." Luo Yang raised his arm slowly, and Liu Yun quickly took his hand into his own.Luoyang made a gesture of writing, and Liu Yun immediately asked a nurse to fetch a pen and paper. With the help of Liu Yun, Luoyang wrote down a few words: "I do not regret." Liu Yun managed to control her tears. She folded Luoyang's writing paper and put it in her coat pocket, then gently stroked Luoyang's face, like a heartbroken mother, using her last strength to deal with her own pain. The child gave a hard smile.Luo Yang closed his eyes. Hou Bo stood in front of the operating table for the second time for Luoyang, and did not joke with everyone as usual.He wasn't nervous, but he couldn't get rid of a bad premonition, worrying that something unexpected would happen after he opened his heart.In his past operations he had had few such premonitions, although some patients had died during or after the operation.Liu Yun approached him: "Are you all right?" Hou Bo shook his head. At this time, Dr. Li, who was in charge of opening the chest, also came over. "Our doctor stood up early today. Do you want to end the operation early so that everyone can have a meal?" Dr. Li said while carefully cutting away the staples on the front chest after Luoyang's first operation. "A section at the sternum." Hou Bo reminded in a low voice. "Examination work, Hou Bo?" Dr. Li asked. "It's reviewing homework." Huber said and left, walking to the anesthetist. "How is it?" he asked. "According to what you said, the induction of anesthesia is relatively slow, but it seems to be stable now." The anesthetist said. "When you start doing it, you should control the dosage of the medicine, and keep an eye on your blood pressure." After finishing speaking, Hou Bo returned to the stage, watching Dr. Li separate the sternum in sections. "This young man has a bad life." Dr. Li said while doing the work in hand. Hou Bo didn't speak, and looked at Liu Yun who was also standing aside. They all knew that such a situation was easy to cause.The viscera was ruptured and bleeding profusely, so they were extraordinarily calm, and showed great trust in Dr. Li, who worked hard. "Is there something wrong with this patient? I heard that he did not ask for valvuloplasty during his first operation." Nurse Xiao Zhou said. "It would be useful to say something else," said the anesthesiologist. "What I said is that it is useful. If you change the petals the first time, why should you suffer the second time." Xiao Zhou kept taking out various injections from the cabinet, and prepared according to the doctor's instructions. "Each has its own way of life," Hou Bo took the hand after Dr. Li separated the sternum, "gauze." He stretched out his hand to take the gauze handed over by the nurse, and wiped away the oozing blood on the sternum, starting from shallow to deep Carefully separating the adherent pericardium, he stretched out his hand, "Electric knife." Standing opposite Hou Bo, Liu Yun sutured the incised pericardium of Hou Bo to the chest wall. "Gauze." After Liu Yun finished speaking, he took what he wanted from the nurse, and then covered the gauze on the sternum. Dr. Li took the retractor, put it in the pericardial cavity, pushed the distance between the sternum, and fixed the retractor organ, revealing the heart and the parts requiring surgery. After finishing the work, Dr. Li moved aside, knowing that he was not needed much now. "You are just an ordinary person," Dr. Li said to nurse Xiao Zhou, "so you can't understand why other patients choose this way." "Aren't you an ordinary person? If you were you, could you do this?" Xiao Zhou said sarcastically. "What can't be done! It's better than taking medicine for a lifetime. Do you think that medicine is a good thing? It's disgusting after taking it, and you might lose your hair. What's the point of living like this for a lifetime." "You say it nicely now, but you won't say it when it's your turn." "What should I say when it's my turn?" Dr. Li said jokingly. "You must say, oh, Hou Bo, Doctor Liu, please change a few petals for me, it's enough to keep me alive, I don't eat every day, just take medicine, doctor, let me live "The nurse Xiao Zhou performed exaggeratedly, and everyone laughed.Doctor Li was embarrassed. "Your husband is like that. I must be the same as this patient. I will never take medicine." Dr. Li became serious. "Then you will die." Xiao Zhou continued. "If you die, you die. Everyone has to die. God says you die in the well, but you can't die in the river. Fate, do you understand?!" "I don't understand. Ordinary people like us don't understand that stuff. What is fate?" "Okay, let's change the subject, don't talk about fate here, it sounds scary." Liu Yun said. Hou Bo and Liu Yun looked at the repair they had done for Luoyang last time. Liu Yun picked up the anterior flap with leather pliers to identify the annulus. He was about to reach out to the nurse for scissors when Hou Bo stopped him.He was watching carefully, hoping to find out why the last repair failed.Liu Yun had no choice but to stop. She could understand Hou Bo, but for some reason, she didn't want him to find any negligence.Together with Huber, she inspected the aortic valve replaced by the pulmonic valve last time, and found that the sutures were avulsed. Liu Yun and Hou Bo glanced at each other, but neither said anything. "Change the valve." Hou Bo said. "Okay." Liu Yun nodded. Liu Yun removed the unhealthy aortic valve that caused Luoyang countless pains. "Needle," Hou Bo said. He sutured the annulus. Liu Yun measured the size of the annulus and said to Xiao Zhou: "Give me a number twenty-three." Nurse Xiao Zhou handed an artificial valve to Liu Yun. Liu Yun put the valve in, just in time for Hou Bo to sew the sutures on the leaflets to the edge of the artificial valve again, and then sew the artificial valve to the aortic valve together. superior.Hou Bo heaved a sigh of relief and left the operating table. Liu Yun was checking the suture margins, sutures, and hemostasis. "How long?" Huber asked. "Forty minutes," said Xiao Song, a nurse monitoring the cardiopulmonary bypass machine. "Sew slowly and carefully." Hou Bo said to Dr. Li again. Liu Yun told to stop the cardiopulmonary bypass machine, waited for the patient's heart to re-beat, and looked at it for a while, but found nothing abnormal before taking a deep breath. Dr. Li and another doctor started to do the final finishing work, doing sternal suturing.Liu Yun said to everyone: "I invite everyone to dinner at noon." Liu Yun said as he walked out.But no one responded immediately behind her, and Liu Yun came back again. "Is no one going?" Liu Yun's voice seemed trembling. "What?" Xiao Zhou called out, "Sister Liu, you haven't invited everyone to dinner for a long time, so we all forgot what to say." "Then are you going?" Liu Yun asked. "Idiots don't go." Xiao Song said.Liu Yun left. Everyone looked at each other, but no one said a word, maybe everyone felt that Liu Yun was different from before. In the evening, Liu Yun wanted to go for a walk in the park alone.After eating with everyone at noon, Liu Yun was in a bad mood, and there was one thing that bothered her: she never felt that she was different from everyone before, but now, she felt out of place, although she still didn’t know the difference Where.At night, she still wanted to stay and take care of Luoyang. At the gate of the park, Liu Yun was just about to buy a ticket to enter when she heard someone calling her.She turned around and found that it was a student from Luoyang, the girl named Bai Bing. "Sorry to bother you, Dr. Liu, I want to ask the teacher about the operation." "You know about his second operation?" "I come every day. My mother knows a nurse on your ward." "Who?" "I call her Aunt Zhou." Liu Yun nodded, and she felt hot for the girl's affection. "It needs to be observed for two days." Liu Yun's tone was completely doctor-like.She didn't understand why she couldn't be kinder to the child, even though she was very touched. "At that time, can our classmates come to see him?" Bai Bing asked. "Why? He's in the intensive care unit, no one else can get in." "It's nothing, we all discussed it this way. The teacher must be affected in all aspects after the operation. We want to encourage the teacher to cheer him up." Bai Bing didn't seem to hear the second half of Liu Yun's words. baby talk. Liu Yun's heart became hot again, but he still said in a doctor's tone: "Let's talk about it at that time. If your teacher is okay these days, he will be discharged from the hospital soon." "Thank you, Dr. Liu." Back in the ward again, Liu Yun's mood did not improve.She misses Wu Gang first.If he was there, she could see him now and say a few unimportant words.She knew that she could call him now, but for some reason, she didn't want to make such a call.She went to the intensive care unit to check on Luoyang, but was still in a coma, and then went back to her office.She took out a pen and paper and wanted to write a letter to Wu Gang.Then the phone rang. Liu Yun didn't answer right away, she was a little excited, afraid it was Wu Gang calling.However, she answered the phone immediately, and she was even more afraid that the other party would hang up.She didn't think that the call might be made by someone else.