Chapter 35 Chapter Thirty-Five

In a calmness that she could not explain, Lou Hong announced to her parents that she was going to work. She didn't show too much confidence in herself in front of her parents.She looked at her parents calmly and even a little indifferently, her expression seemed to tell her parents, don't obstruct me and you don't need to ask me, can't you see the answer on my face? ! The mother's gaze was on her daughter's face. She wanted to see the wounds on her daughter's face. After the scabs fell off, they were red scars, but she was afraid that seeing them would touch her daughter's nerves. In fact, she I want to remind my daughter that you can't go out like this.

Father stopped his wife who wanted to talk.He seems to know his daughter better than his mother.His gaze met his daughter's decisively, conveying encouragement and understanding.He saw his youthful determination and attitude towards life from his daughter's face.He knew what his daughter had really realized after going through so much, that's why she faced her parents so calmly.She didn't even want to confess and emphasize anything, which made her father believe her 100%.He thinks that any decision his daughter makes now is a choice for her future life, not a temptation, as if her daughter has only become a real adult from this moment.

The father nodded to his daughter, who smiled back and walked out of the house. "What will she do?" The mother was somewhat worried. Lou Hong's father didn't answer his wife right away. He came to the window and saw his daughter walking out of the yard slowly.Then he said to his wife: "What is she doing now, we all have to accept and admit it." He paused and said again, with a strange voice, "Didn't you see your daughter grow up?" The wife found that her husband's eyes were full of tears, she understood, so her own tears flowed down silently.This is an indescribable emotion in the hearts of the parents, and the daughter walked out with her head raised with a scar.They were proud of their daughter's courage, but their heart ached for her daughter's courage.

When Lou Hong came to the street, it was time for work in the morning.She thought of hailing a taxi, but dismissed the idea and walked towards the bus stop as usual. She wore a high-necked silk blouse that partly concealed the scar on her neck.She walked briskly down the sidewalk following the bicycle traffic, feeling suddenly lifted.All the moving vehicles and people on the street injected vitality into her, and she told herself in her heart that no matter what happened, she was willing to live a positive life.Because there is always something attractive in life.She is glad that she is no longer hiding at home, but has turned herself into a person like everyone else.

The willow trees on the side of the road sometimes hang very low, which occasionally weakens the noise of the noisy cars.Lou Hong couldn't help stretching out her hand to tease the low-hanging willow branches a few times, and her mood fluctuated accordingly.She thought of the many interesting places she had been to, the friends she liked, the shops where she could buy fashionable clothes, the possibility of meeting more interesting people in the future, and the weekends she could go with her grand parents A big meal in a high-end restaurant... Lou Hong smiled proudly. She walked to the bus stop, and there were already many people waiting there.Just when someone took a quick glance at Lou Hong, a small bus drove up, and Lou Hong followed.There were no seats in the car, so Lou Hong had to stand by the door.No one in the carriage knew each other, so no one talked to each other, only the ticket seller standing next to Lou Hong kept yelling, asking people who had just got on the train to buy tickets.

Lou Hong turned her head to see the driver driving, and occasionally looked outside through the driver's front window.She felt a few strands of eyes hovering over her, but Lou Hong, who had just been paralyzed by life, was not very sensitive.When she turned her head to look inside the carriage again, she felt a sticky gaze from the side, which stayed on her cheek for a long time, and even made her feel that the scar was itching again. She followed the direction of her eyes and saw a middle-aged woman sitting not far from her. She did not avoid Lou Hong's probing gaze, and frowned, as if she was feeling the pain from the scar for Lou Hong. There was instinctive pity in her eyes, and more puzzlement.It seemed that she could never imagine what a woman had done to be scratched like this.

"Do you know me?" Lou Hong asked the woman. The woman froze for a moment, but still didn't look away. "Why do you look at me if you don't know me? Are your eyeballs dead? They won't turn?" Lou Hong said unhurriedly, revealing her determination to protect herself from harm. "I really don't know what's good, I've been scratched like this, and..." The woman burst out hurtful words like an erupting volcano, but she didn't think she had enough strength, so she continued to look for more words that could hit the nail on the head , and finally she said, "If only I had the guts to deal with the one who scratched you!"

The car stopped at this moment, Lou Hong turned around and jumped off.Tears streamed down her face as she reached out to hit the taxi. "I don't even know who was tickled. If that woman passes by me now, I won't recognize it." Thinking this way, Lou Hong wiped away her tears and got into a taxi parked in front of her . When Lou Hong walked into the building where her office was located, she was no longer in the mood of walking on the street at all. She walked into the elevator with her head held high and without squinting. .She suddenly had strength, not because she was looking forward to the future, but because she saw her opponent clearly, which had just lifted the veil of illusion.Lou Hong feels that all the invisible forces in front of her are forcing her to submit, asking her to admit to herself that she was wrong, and now she is willing to accept all punishments.

When Lou Hong stepped out of the elevator, she was already like an armed soldier, full of energy and determined to fight to the end.She didn't go to the office, and went straight into the outer room of the general manager Wu Wei.Seeing Lou Hong screaming in a low voice, the secretary got up and grabbed Lou Hong's arm, showing a real sympathy and concern on his face that was conveyed through distress: "What's wrong with you, Lou Hong?" She asked with a low voice, crying a little. Lou Hong shook her hand vigorously, and her heart was suddenly moved by the female secretary's sincere concern. She resisted the tears welling up, and said her request:

"It's nothing, something happened. Can I see the general manager?" The female secretary immediately nodded to Lou Hong sensibly, then returned to her seat, and turned on the intercom: "Manager, Lou Hong has something urgent to see you." She said. No reply. "Here she is now." The female secretary added pressure. "Let her in." Wu Wei's voice came out. When Lou Hong stood in front of Wu Wei, Wu Wei's deliberate composure was still broken.He bowed and was about to ask Lou Hong, but Lou Hong immediately cut back his words: "You don't need to ask me, I will tell you." Lou Hong spoke neither humble nor overbearing, but with a deterrent effect, "Something happened to me, so I became like this. If you don't continue to ask me what's wrong, I will Thank you very much. At the same time, I also want to ask you to forgive me for lying about the leave. If you still keep me, I can start working today, but I want to ask you for one thing." Lou Hong sternly After saying these words, it seemed that she had been a negotiating representative with the enemy many years ago. This may be a bit of talent she inherited from her parents.

"Tell me." Lou Hong once again aroused Wu Wei's interest. "I'd like to take on another temporary job that you once arranged for me." "why?" "Because I don't want to go back to the office right now. I'm going to bother my co-workers with my current face. They must be curious as hell, but they have to be careful not to hurt me, etc." "You have to meet people when you work here!" Wu Wei said. "I'm not afraid to meet people, sooner or later I have to meet people, but I don't want to put myself in front of them all the time." "Why do you think my place is more suitable?" Wu Wei felt more and more that Lou Hong was an interesting girl with personality. "I think you must have seen many more cruel things than here." When Lou Hong spoke, he glanced at Wu Wei, and Wu Wei looked away first. "I happen to have some materials here to send to Geng Lin." When Wu Wei said this, his eyes fell on Lou Hong's face again. He didn't want Lou Hong to be suppressed. next appreciation. "Can I go?" Lou Hong asked Wu Wei, who met Wu Wei's gaze, and Wu Wei made a "please" gesture to the stack of materials on the table. "I'll go right away." Lou Hong picked up the materials. When Hou Bo walked into the operating room, everyone was already in place, and each was busy with his own work.Liu Yun was putting on the surgical gown with the assistance of a nurse, and she greeted Hou Bo.Everyone chatted with each other while busy with their own work.Hou Bo glanced at the patient lying on the table and began to wash his hands. The patient was a two-and-a-half-year-old boy lying naked on the operating table, unconscious after anesthesia.He is a congenital heart disease - Tetralogy of Fallot.Because of the dysphonia of the heart, his body is thin and small, and he seems to be only as developed as a one-year-old child.Also because of his heart, his skin is purple-gray, and his lips are almost black-purple. This is a very modern operating room, round in shape, with sliding doors that automatically close and open.The walls are a pale lake blue.Next to the operating table is a very conspicuous large extracorporeal circulation device.When the patient performs heart surgery, it replaces the patient's heart, lungs, kidneys and other organs to make the patient's blood pass through the machine for extracorporeal circulation. It can cool or warm the patient's blood in a short period of time as needed, and There is a device for filtering blood to prevent various emboli and microemboli generated during surgery and extracorporeal circulation from entering the patient's blood. The atmosphere here is different from any other place, even the outpatient ward of the hospital. The low temperature makes all the equipment look cold.For patients it is a middle ground between life and death.Every patient who is pushed onto the operating table has already been anesthetized and unconscious when he enters the door. For the doctors, except for themselves, everything here has lost its emotional color and reveals a lifeless coldness.And the doctor's responsibility to the patient is assumed in another way in such a cold, clear and procedure-filled calm. This "other" way starts easily when the doctors and nurses enter the operating room. It is interrupted occasionally during the operation, but it can be resumed occasionally.Hou Bo once said to Liu Yun that he was not used to it at first, but after a long time, he tasted the psychological relaxation brought by this method. After Liu Yun put on the surgical gown, the nurse then put on the surgical gown for Hou Bo who had washed his hands. Dr. Liu and another colleague had already covered the child's body with sterile towels, exposing only the part of the chest that needed surgery. "Today is Children's Day." said a nurse who was busy with extracorporeal circulation equipment.Everyone didn't answer her words, Hou Bo felt the atmosphere was oppressive, so he brought the topic back to the relaxation at the beginning. "Who went out for private work yesterday?" Hou Bo said. "Private work?" Dr. Liu, who was about to open his chest, answered, "You think we are carpenters, and we can see where we want?!" Everyone laughed, and Liu Yun went to the anesthetist to check the child's blood pressure. "What Hou Bo wants to say is, who sold the mayor's machine yesterday." said a nurse who recorded equipment and medicines. "How do you know what Hou Bo wanted to say?" the anesthetized young man answered. "I know, I will piss you off." "Don't piss me off, be careful to piss off Hou Bo's wife. It's not a joke to have a new love and an old love." The young man continued. Everyone laughed.Dr. Liu had already made the first cut on the child's skin covered with iodine.The careful Xiao Zhou immediately changed the topic, and gave Liu Yun a thoughtful look, who looked down at the record as if nothing had happened. "Xiao Zhang was transferred to the mayor's station yesterday." Xiao Zhou said. "To serve the mayor, you must find the most beautiful." Dr. Liu said, took the chainsaw from the nurse, and was about to open the chest. At this time, the operation started quietly without any announcement, bell or password. . "Our little Zhang is also good at business." Hou Bo said and moved closer to the operating table. "That's right, Hou Bo understands me. Tomorrow we have to talk alone to improve our relationship." Xiao Zhang said while doing his work seriously. "Let's talk to the mayor first." The young man under anesthesia said, "Did the mayor invite you after stepping down?" "Where can the mayor see me? Our dean has blocked his sight for a long time." Xiao Zhang said mockingly. "The dean went up too?" "And the secretary." After Xiao Zhang finished speaking, everyone laughed. "Hey, the dean went up to see that there were still some posters. After all, he was a surgeon. Why did the secretary go up? Why do many people lose their brains when they see their bosses." Hou Bo said. "Don't stand and talk without knowing that your back hurts. If you are a secretary, you have to keep busy. Once you become an official, you will be timid." Nurse Xiao Zhou said. "What's wrong with the mayor?" Hou Bo asked again, at this time he and Liu Yun had already stood in their respective positions, the patient's chest had been opened, and Dr. Liu was tightening the steel bracket. "It's like picking out earwax or something." After Dr. Liu finished fixing the bracket, everyone was amused again. Liu Yun started to do the initial hemostasis quickly and quickly, and Hou Bo cooperated with her.While everyone was talking and laughing, she was always busy with her own duties and didn't speak.Hou Bo saw everything in his eyes, and once a thought flashed in his mind, how to help this woman in pain. Hou Bo cut open the pericardium, and when he could look directly at the inside of the heart, he looked up at Liu Yun who was standing opposite him.She and Hou Bo looked at each other, and Hou Bo asked Liu Yun in a low voice: "Look?" Liu Yun checked it carefully again, and she knew that the left ventricle of this little patient was too small to proceed with the operation.If it continues, his life will end on the operating table.She raised her head to look at Hou Bo, and there was already an element of self-blame in her eyes. "Shut it?" Hou Bo still asked tentatively. "It can only be closed." Liu Yun said that he had already started to prepare to close the chest. At this moment, Dr. Liu came to her side to assist her. "The left heart is too small to do it, so it is closed." Hou Bo said to everyone. Liu Yun tried his best to force himself to concentrate on the last thing and not to think about his mistakes in work.She knew very well that if an angiogram was arranged before the operation, it would be possible to avoid the meaningless closure of the current chest after opening.The reason why she did not ask for a cardiogram is because the symptoms of this case are very clear, and any doctor can confirm the diagnosis through non-invasive preoperative examinations such as electrocardiogram and phonocardiogram. Hou Bo left the operating room first, and before going out, he whispered to Liu Yun that he wanted her to find him after she went out.When Liu Yun took off the surgical gown, he took one last look at the patient—a little boy with congenital heart disease.Dr. Liu was doing the final stitches for him. His smiling face was still purple under anesthesia, but he was very peaceful, as if he was a little satisfied with his short journey of life.Liu Yun's heart began to tremble, and what a nurse said just now rang in his ears: Today is Children's Day. The young man under anesthesia felt Liu Yun's emotions. He gently stroked the poor boy's face with his hands, trying to comfort Liu Yun and tell her not to be too sad. This is often seen in the operating room, especially in the cardiac surgery operating room. situation, but he wanted to express it a little more lightly, so he said: "It doesn't matter, he didn't know that some people can live to be a hundred years old." Liu Yun's tears fell along with his words. After changing her clothes, Liu Yun returned to the ward. She saw Hou Bo waiting for her in the corridor, so she went straight to him. "I'm sorry, if I do..." Liu Yun opened his mouth first, even though his heart was still aching. "Forget it, if you do it, maybe you won't let him on stage, but it won't save the kid." Hou Bo wasn't always comforting Liu Yun, the fact was the same.If there is no operation, the child's life can last about a year at most. "I understand, but I still feel uncomfortable." Liu Yun said. "Maybe it has something to do with your emotions." Hou Bo didn't mean to blame, he felt that doctors should not be too emotional. Of course Liu Yun was hit by Hou Bo's words again. "I'll go talk to the patient's family." Hou Bo said with concern. "Thank you, I'll go." Liu Yun found the patient's family members in the family waiting area outside the ward.She will never forget the expression on that mother when she was running towards her: she was running towards Liu Yun, but the expression on her face was as if she was about to run away in horror.She stood in front of Liu Yun, as if a car had stopped suddenly, and looked at Liu Yun numbly after the inertial pushing and shoving. One of her hands was slowly raised to her lips, as if it was possible to stop him at any time. exclaimed. Next to her stood her husband who was slightly shorter than her. "Opened, closed, can't do it, the left ventricle is too small." Liu Yun said as calmly as possible. The young mother didn't scream out, and immediately, tears were all over her face.Liu Yun held her arm, and saw her bursting into tears and gasping for breath.Liu Yun also cried. She seemed to have seen all the details of the mother taking care of her child for more than two years.Maybe she was extraordinarily close.I have my own child, because I know that he is sick and that he may leave his mother at any time. "Can I still do it in the future?" My father didn't really understand. Liu Yun shook his head at him. "Why not? Isn't this disease curable now?" Father asked fiercely again. "Don't ask!" The child's mother finally choked out this sentence, and then burst into tears. Many family members of the patients also gathered around, and many women wept.Liu Yun supported the sick child's mother, not caring about wiping her tears. After a while, the mother relaxed a little, sobbing and asked Liu Yun: "Can I take the baby home?" Liu Yun shook his head. "How long will he live?" "Three or four days." Liu Yun tried her best to be honest, but she knew that the child might die today or tomorrow. "Let me take her home." The mother once again looked at Liu Yun with pleading eyes. "Then he will die immediately." After Liu Yun finished speaking, he let go of the child's mother's arm, and her heart beat strangely for a few seconds.With a heart surgeon's instincts, she knew what that meant.In this instant, she felt a great vacuum within her, leaving her feeling and physically empty.For a moment, she was so desperate, as if there was a huge question mark raised in this vacuum, a question about her past life, and she couldn't make any answer at this moment.