Chapter 34 Chapter Thirty-Four

It seems wrong. This is a feeling that Geng Lin can't get rid of these days.Now he's sitting alone at the "behind" bar, drinking his second gin and tonic.Just now, Wu Gang hurried through the store to go out, saw Geng Lin, they greeted each other friendly, and then Wu Gang left.Geng Lin could see that Wu Gang didn't want to talk too much to his regular customer, which made Geng Lin feel a little uncomfortable, because he always valued Wu Gang very much.Geng Lin is very willing to approach a man like him, he feels that there is something he lacks in such a man.And when he saw Wu Gang just now, Geng Lin had a flash of thought: It would be good to be able to chat with Wu Gang now, so Wu Gang's polite indifference towards him somewhat stimulated him.He took two sips of wine, but did not leave.

Lou Hong has not been to work since she was scratched, nor has she gone to their "hut".Although they talked on the phone every day, Geng Lin became more and more uneasy.When he sent flowers to Lou Hong, they didn't see each other for more than a week.Geng Lin asked himself about this, and found that he felt a little helpless: he wanted to see Lou Hong, but it was a difficult thing to do at present, so he didn't mind seeing her.On the other hand, so many fights made him very tired, and it was also in his mind that the two of them should not meet and think about it separately.At that time, he was sad for a while because his enthusiasm for Lou Hong dropped sharply, but he felt that he still loved her, so he felt at ease.Besides, he also believed that Lou Hong would be overwhelmed first, and then end the period when they didn't meet.Whenever Lou Hong goes to the "hut" to look for him, he will greet him with all his body, mind and enthusiasm without any hesitation. This is love, he thought.

However, Lou Hong never went to the "hut" to find him, which made Geng Lin gradually realize the other possibility, and immediately blamed himself for only considering the outcome of their love from his own side, like most men do.It's a pity that Lou Hong is different from most women, and their relationship seems to depend more on Lou Hong than on him.Thinking of this, the first thing Geng Lin felt was not sadness, but that his heart was not at ease. During this period of time, Geng Lin has been in such a state of mind. Rather than saying that the pain of not being able to meet Lou Hong is tormenting him, it is more accurate to say that the relationship with Lou Hong is unclear and unclear. He can't stand it.If Lou Hong told him clearly that they had a future, he could wait like this, one year, two years, it doesn't matter how many years, but during their phone call, Lou Hong not only did not have a clear attitude, but avoided talking about the future on the contrary.Once, he tried his best to guide Lou Hong to look forward to the future, and Lou Hong threw him a sentence:

"Talking about the future is stupid, and it's nothing more than self-consolation." Geng Lin's life is moving forward with difficulty in such a semi-vacuum state.He tried his best to pass the time after get off work.There are no dinner parties with colleagues and friends, and no overtime work, so he just goes to the bar alone.He went to almost every bar or cafe he knew except "behind".There, he reads the newspaper, which sometimes feels better than going back to the "hut".In the "hut" because there is no Lou Hong, he feels lonely. What's more, he is alone there, and he always thinks of Liu Yun unconsciously, and Liu Yun is the last person he wants to think of now.

Now he is finally sitting at the "behind" bar, where he and Lou Hong used to sit, but he regrets coming.Normally, he would rather go to other bars than come here, because he misses this place too much, and he is afraid that all the memories will be brought back here once he comes here.When he was sitting in other bars, he could recall the past "behind him" a little calmly, and he could only think about the things he wanted to recall, most of which were romantic things that still moved his heart.Now as he sits here it's all other things that come to his mind that he's trying his best not to think about and can't figure out, and it annoys him for a while.He glanced at some of the women in the bar, and he knew he could take one of them back to the cabin with a few sweet words if he wanted to.His current body is in need of this, he thought, the best way for a man to solve this inexplicable trouble is to hug a woman and sleep.He glanced at the girls again, and suddenly called out to pay the bill. A minute later, he was already standing in the cold night.

No woman was brought out, he took a few quick steps over the wall and jumped into the park, walking forward like a madman.At the moment when he paid the bill, he understood that his uncontrollable longing was not for any woman, but for Lou Hong, for Lou Hong.He came to the grassland where Lou Hong had been lying naked, and lay down as if dead, and found that his body and even his soul were facing Lou Hong.He felt that it was difficult to breathe, he forgot all the specific troubles, and a huge voice filled his body: as long as he can see Lou Hong now, he can hold her tightly tightly, as long as he can kiss her as if he is suffocating, as long as... …he would do anything.

He took out his mobile phone and dialed Lou Hong's number, but the line was busy! He lay facing the sky, looking at the moon that was as gentle as water slanting above, bent quietly, dragging the fresh breath of the grass to slowly envelope Geng Lin.He moved his eyes from the moon to the stars, and his heart suddenly became strange, as if the stars were sometimes Lou Hong teasing his eyes, making a certain part of his heart very soft. "Those past events that happened here are so good! Even if you don't get it again in this life, it's worth it and you should be satisfied." Thinking of this, he took a long breath, and the troubles and desires just faded away. A new mood dominates Geng Lin in this apocalyptic night sky.If you give such an emotion a name, it should be called romance.

Romance is the sweet spot many people like because it's gentle. Geng Lin dialed Lou Hong's number again, and the call went through. In the time we experience, there must be many moments that are decisive and life-changing.Therefore, the word coincidence always makes people feel so close to fate.This night, when Geng Lin called Lou Hong for the first time, if the line was not busy, maybe they would have another fate, at least they could spend this night wholeheartedly in another way.But the phone line is busy, and Lou Hong is calling a girlfriend.On the phone, she described her state of mind to her girlfriend in more detail.Lou Hong has a mood similar to Geng Lin's, but she doesn't have enough strength to change it.In this kind of clueless mood, she also had a yearning for sex, as if the combination of the body would clarify their situation, and they would know what to do when they stood up from the bed.The girlfriend laughed at Lou Hong, saying that whatever she thought about, she would end up on the bed.

"What's wrong with thinking about going to bed?! At least this feeling is real, and you won't be fooled by others." Lou Hong said frankly. "You just said it the other way around. Nine out of ten women who make choices for this reason are tragic characters." My girlfriend said in a low voice, "After a long time, this matter will not work well. By then What do you do then? You find that you have lost your reason for choosing, but it's too late." "You think there is only this matter between me and Geng Lin, there is..." Lou Hong asked cautiously, she wanted to know this girlfriend's opinion, she felt that this girlfriend was gentler than herself, maybe also smarter.

"I don't feel anything, and I don't even know that man." The girlfriend said. Lou Hong put down the phone, but her thoughts remained on.She was seriously thinking whether it was only sexual attraction that connected her and Geng Lin.But she immediately dismissed this idea, she felt that she should not doubt Geng Lin's love for her.However, her kind and beautiful understanding disappeared like a shooting star in a blink of an eye. "Geng Lin and I have no public life at all, I don't even know a single friend of his, and I don't know Geng Lin in clothes at all, so..." Lou Hong didn't dare to think about it, Geng Lin's phone number Called in at this moment.

"Geng Lin." Geng Lin reported his name first, as if he was a little cautious. "Hello." Lou Hong didn't know what to say, so she covered it up like this first.She didn't expect Geng Lin to call so late, it was almost midnight. "Why are you greeting me?" Geng Lin felt a little uncomfortable. "Then what should I say?" Lou Hong said. Hearing Lou Hong's words, Geng Lin's first reaction was that she had another man during this period. "Have you run out of words?" "Where are you?" Lou Hong asked. "Just came out from behind, now in the park." "You're quite elegant, isn't the moonlight good?" Although Lou Hong's words were teasing, Bi Jing relaxed, and it aroused Geng Lin's nostalgia for the past, how much he liked that relaxed and willful Lou Hong! "I really miss you, Hong. Nothing has changed in the park, but you are missing. I, I... miss you so much." Geng Lin finished speaking in a low voice, waiting for the response. no answer. Geng Lin looked up at the moon again, and then at the huge darkness in the forest in the distance, as if the moonlight only illuminated the grassland where he was, exposing him.It's not a long time, they just haven't seen each other for a while, but Lou Hong no longer responds to his call.He felt his eyes watery, but his desire for Lou Hong did not subside. "Come to me, or follow me home." Geng Lin called again. no answer.Geng Lin listened carefully, even if he could hear the other party's slightly changed breathing.There was no sound, not even the inherent hum of the phone line itself, and the world fell to a complete rest.Geng Lin was annoyed. "I understand, you don't miss me anymore, have you forgotten me?" Geng Lin raised his voice. Still no answer. "What's the matter?" Geng Lin began to worry, and there was real anxiety in his voice. "No." Lou Hong finally spoke. "I want to see you!" Lou Hong's voice once again stirred up many familiar feelings in Geng Lin's heart, making Geng Lin cry out affectionately. Lou Hong was also infected. "Come out, I'll wait for you at home." Geng Lin said hastily. I don't know which nerve Geng Lin's words touched Lou Hong. She didn't seem to think about it at all, and blurted out: "Why do I have to go out?" "If you don't come out, how can we meet?" Geng Lin asked like a child. "You come to my house!" Lou Hong commanded. "I'm going to your house?" Geng Lin felt that this was a lunatic's idea, "Your parents aren't here?" He still took a little chance. "They are all asleep. I opened the door, and you sneaked in. They never enter my room in the morning, and they leave very early, how about it?" Lou Hong was expecting Geng Lin's answer, not joking at all. . "Are you crazy?!" Geng Lin asked dissatisfied. "Yes, I'm crazy." Lou Hong was immediately hurt by Geng Lin's attitude, "I'm sorry, Geng Lin, I'm crazy, that's why I advise you like this. I understand everything." The usual sentence patterns that most men can't stand ended his words. "You're here again, what do you understand?" Geng Lin also became impatient. "It's been so long since we haven't seen each other, there's no reason we're still arguing on the phone." "You mean I'm arguing with you?" Lou Hong became agitated, but she could still control her voice, "Why do you lie to yourself? If you are not enthusiastic, you are not enthusiastic. You don't need to hide it." "what are you talking about?" "If I don't understand others, don't I understand you?!" Lou Hong continued recklessly, "If I made a suggestion to you a few months ago, you would have reacted differently." "What reaction?" Geng Lin himself couldn't figure out why he was attracted by Lou Hong's hateful words. "You won't turn around and ask me if I'm crazy. You will definitely come, but before you come, you will ask in detail how to get away without disturbing my parents. I know you too well, Geng Lin, you might as well tell me directly, you are right I'm not interested. Why don't we admit this?!" Lou Hong finished speaking in one breath, thinking that there would be a roar of denial from Geng Lin, but there was no.The brief silence made her feel empty, and then Geng Lin turned off the phone. Lou Hong is still the same Lou Hong she used to be, she can't stand others treating her like this.She immediately hung up Geng Lin's cell phone again, but it was a lady's voice that reminded Lou Hong that her cell phone was not turned on. Lou Hong got out of bed, took out a windbreaker from the closet and put it on over the nightdress, she wanted to slip out immediately and go to Geng Lin's residence to find him.When she reached the door, she stopped again, as if a voice sounded from behind her: "What did you go to him for?" "Arguing?" "Still sleeping with him?" "Or both?" "Is all this new to you? Didn't they all happen? Do you really want them to repeat forever?" Lou Hong immediately calmed down. She wrapped her body tightly in a windbreaker, sat on the carpet, and was able to control her emotions rationally.Then, the clever Lou Hong discovered that the source of her impulse just now was a kind of inertia in the past.Knowing this, she felt that she could sleep well tonight. Geng Lin walked out of the park slowly by himself. The atmosphere created by the moonlight in the park made him depressed. bother.After leaving the park, he unconsciously returned to Bar Street, walking towards "behind". This is the first time since they met, he firmly ignored Lou Hong.He also didn't understand why he didn't take too much effort to complete this process, and where his strength came from.Before this, no matter how outrageous things Lou Hong did, he couldn't resolutely ignore her.For example, there were times when he cut off the phone, but he didn't dare to turn it off.Does he like Lou Hong messing around with him like that, or is he willing to always tolerate Lou Hong and treat her like a wayward little girl?He still couldn't figure it out. When he was approaching the "behind" bar, he decided to go in and just drink a glass of beer, thinking about himself and Lou Hong. However, not everyone can think clearly about their own affairs.After Geng Lin drank a few sips of beer, his mind became even more confused.He saw that the few remaining people in the bar seemed to be similar to him, depressed, so he asked for another beer, and he drank the first beer before the second glass of beer was served. In one corner sat a young girl in a t-shirt-style sports coat, looking very young.Geng Lin couldn't think of what kind of occupation she could be, and it seemed that she was no longer a student.Geng Lin looked away. He thought of Lou Hong again, and then had a bad feeling that Lou Hong would leave him this time.He took out the mobile phone from his pocket, opened it, looked at it for a while, and then resolutely closed the mobile phone.At this time, an imaginary enemy stood up in his heart, and he silently yelled at this imaginary enemy.He wanted to say that he had no worries, even if he went to climb the window of Lou Hong's house in the middle of the night.The reason why he disapproved of this was more for Lou Hong's sake.If her parents find out, it will really ruin their future, and maybe they will never be together again. Geng Lin felt very wronged, he kept thinking about what had just happened from his side, and the more he thought about it, the more hesitant it seemed, it seemed that this was the first time that Lou Hong had misunderstood him so much, and he was unreasonable.He wanted to talk to someone to divert his bad mood, so he turned his attention to the young woman again. "If she is that kind of woman, what should I do?" Just as Geng Lin was about to pass the glass of wine, such a question appeared in his mind.Then, he sat back where he was. "There are not so many men in this world, they don't hesitate at this moment, because they don't care about this kind of thing at all. Why do I have to think about it? I have a relationship with those men What's the difference? I'm not worse than them, maybe not much better than them. Why am I so weak at this moment, am I too unmanly? That's why Lou Hong dares to be so presumptuous with me! Why can't I give myself a chance, let myself be free Do what you want to do right now, call it indulgence..." Geng Lin was already sitting opposite to that woman. "Every time I come, I see you sitting here. Why are you always alone?" Geng Lin tried his best to put on an air of connoisseurship, as if flirting with women was a common occurrence for him. The woman smiled, with a somewhat mocking corner of her mouth.Geng Lin was a little flustered, but he told himself to hold on, don't let that woman gain the upper hand. "What are you laughing at?" He purposely spoke carelessly. "I'm here for the first time today," said the woman.