Chapter 33 Chapter Thirty-Three

Choking, if it comes from a woman who is not young, may be a kind of pain that must be expressed when she can no longer maintain her self-esteem. Liu Yun was the first to leave the barbecue restaurant. She said she had a headache. After she left, everyone couldn't think of a more suitable topic, so they were silent for a while. Finally, Dr. Hou said that everyone will find their own way out.What he said caused the nurse Xiao Zhou's eyes to light up, she slapped her thigh and said: "As expected of a doctor, people love to listen to their words." At this time, she turned her gaze to everyone again, "I don't think anyone needs to worry about others. If Liu Yun has difficulties, we just go up. It's all a trench. , didn't say anything."

Everyone cheered for Dr. Hou and Xiao Zhou's words, so the atmosphere of the meal changed completely - began to enter the second stage - drink thoroughly. When Liu Yun returned home, the phone rang several times, but she didn't answer it.She hopes to get into such a space, no one knows her, and no one pays attention to her.But when the phone rang again, she still answered it, she was worried about something urgent in the ward. It was Wu Gang who called, and Liu Yun could tell right away that Wu Gang had drunk a lot. "I'm all alone, can you come here?" he said. "But I don't know how to drink." Liu Yun didn't want to go there.

"I get it, you're trying to say I'm drunk." "Aren't you drunk?" Liu Yun asked back. "I've been drinking, but I'm not drunk. I've never been drunk." Wu Gang tried his best to speak clearly, "Your department seems to have a party tonight. Why did you come back so early?" Speaking of which, Wu Gang has returned to normal. His tone of voice, he is a man of will. Wu Gang's words touched Liu Yun's hidden pain, and she decided to meet Wu Gang: "When does your place close?" Liu Yun asked very amateurishly. "It's closed. I'm here alone now. Come here." Wu Gang said very directly.

When Liu Yun walked into the bar, he was stunned by the changes inside.All the tables and chairs were moved to the wall, and a large space was left in the center of the floor. A small table and two empty chairs were placed on it, as if calling for people to sit on it. "Why is it like this?" Liu Yun asked Wu Gang who was standing behind her. "It wasn't intentional, some friends were dancing here in the afternoon." Liu Yun didn't realize that what Wu Gang said was a lie, because he couldn't dance, so he didn't feel that the vacated space was not suitable for dancing at all.

"So much wine." Liu Yun sat down and looked at several foreign wine bottles on the table. "You don't need to drink all of it." Wu Gang said. "I don't drink!" Liu Yun emphasized again. "Then I'll make you a drink." Wu Gang took Liu Yun's cup, took out a cold water bottle from under the table, and filled it up for Liu Yun. Liu Yun took a sip and said: "It's delicious!" "Then drink more." Wu Gang continued to drink what was in his glass. "Did you invite me here just for a drink?" Liu Yun said jokingly.

"Did you see Geng Lin again recently?" Wu Gang was very satisfied when he saw Liu Yun sitting in front of him safely.He felt that it was worthwhile to close the door early today and wait for Liu Yun to come.Wu Gang once felt that Liu Yun was very distant because he heard about certain things Liu Yun had done.Although he was willing to help her as always, he still couldn't escape his disgust towards some of Liu Yun's actions.At one time, he believed that his feelings for Liu Yun were exactly the same as Chen Daming's affection for Liu Yun, and it was just a relationship between colleagues.But that morning, when he saw Liu Yun's helplessness, self-blame, and panic standing on the "ruins" created by Geng Lin, something deep in his heart squirmed.He felt indescribably distressed.He had the strength to get her out of there then.But he restrained himself, he knew that facing him was not an impulsive girl like Lou Hong, but a woman who was going through great pain.After that, he didn't go to Liu Yun, even though he knew that Liu Yun needed his help more at this time, or someone else's help.He didn't know how to face his sudden emotional changes.He was off duty today, and spent the whole afternoon in the bar, always thinking about Liu Yun, and he couldn't do it if he didn't want to.He even felt that he was ridiculous. Geng Lin smashed his home, and this incident seemed to drag him in, so that he could no longer avoid Liu Yun.So, in the evening, he temporarily decided to close the bar.

"What's wrong with you? You seem to be distracted." Liu Yun asked. Wu Gang smiled in embarrassment. "I haven't seen Geng Lin." Liu Yun said. "What did you say?" Wu Gang was so busy thinking about his own affairs that he forgot the question he just asked. "Didn't you ask me just now if I saw Geng Lin?!" Liu Yun regretted coming here when he spoke.She didn't think that Wu Gang's distraction was because she had a special feeling for her, and she hated herself for being Wu Gang's burden.She thought that Wu Gang was forcing himself to care about her.She secretly made up her mind that she would never rely on anyone for help, and never open her heart to anyone again.She wants to live alone, in silence.Even if others think she is cold, she doesn't care.She always felt ashamed, and now she still couldn't figure out where this feeling came from.But as soon as she saw her acquaintances and colleagues, no matter whether they were on her side, whether they cared about her, or indirectly condemned Geng Lin, she immediately felt ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Liu Yun, I want to have a frank talk with you." Wu Gang didn't know Liu Yun's mental journey after returning to the ward, so he thought Liu Yun was annoyed by his attitude. "What are you talking about?" Liu Yun's attitude still did not ease. "How do you plan to end the matter with Geng Lin?" Wu Gang saw Liu Yun's aggressive eyes, so he had to add, "I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't ask you that, I just..." "Thank you, Wu Gang, I also think I should talk to you." Liu Yun said in a much more relaxed tone, maybe she realized that she had no reason to complain to Wu Gang, anyway, he is the only person she can trust right now , and the only one who can help her.When she thought this way, the decisive feeling in her heart just now subsided a lot.

"Go ahead." Wu Gang waited honestly. "I should thank you, thank you sincerely." Liu Yun looked into the distance, immersed in a person's situation, as if she was talking to another self in her heart. "I don't have any brothers and sisters around me, so after this kind of thing happened in my family, I collapsed. I didn't expect that I was so weak and not strong at all. Without your help, I don't know where I would be. Fortunately, now everything is over." Wu Gang gradually realized that Liu Yun had misunderstood him, so he controlled his emotions and listened carefully to what Liu Yun said.

"I don't know how to thank you, but I know what kind of woman I am, and my current situation." Liu Yun glanced at Wu Gang at this point, found that he was listening quietly, and then continued . "The divorce has turned me into a ridiculous clown. Many people really care about me, but no one can help me, but they still force themselves to ask me here and there. I have become a burden to my friends. Today I feel this when people in the department gather, and seeing you confirms this feeling even more. But I can't bear this feeling. I'm sorry, Wu Gang, I can't say anything to others, but I want to tell you that I thank you for the past Help me please stop it from today, I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I want everyone to forget me and leave me to die slowly in the corner. I want everyone to ignore me, I don't deserve it Your help, do you understand? You are free now, and you don't have to think about anything for me anymore!" Liu Yun lost control and shouted, tears welling up.

Wu Gang was shocked by Liu Yun's words.He took her drink glass from Liu Yun, poured the drink on the ground far away, and poured Liu Yun half a glass of martini. "Have a drink." He controlled his excitement. Liu Yun took the cup that Wu Gang handed over, drank half of it in one gulp, and then wanted to drink the rest, but Wu Gang stopped her. "Drink slowly." Wu Gang said as he handed some tissues to Liu Yun. Liu Yun entered the stage of crying quietly, and Wu Gang also relaxed.He knew that he had time now to have a heart-to-heart talk with Liu Yun, but he didn't know what to say.He understood how Liu Yun misunderstood him, and he could tell Liu Yun about his emotional changes in order to eliminate her misunderstanding.But I feel that the atmosphere in front of me is not suitable.Looking at the painful Liu Yun, he developed another sense of responsibility: as a bystander, he found that the most painful thing for Liu Yun was not what others thought of her, but her own inability to bear what had happened.As a friend, he feels it is his responsibility to help Liu Yun realize this, which is more important than expressing his feelings. "Do you really care about what others think of you?" Wu Gang finally opened his mouth looking for an opportunity. Liu Yun stopped crying and looked at Wu Gang, not knowing what to say next. "You are extremely sensitive now, how will you get along with others in the future?" Wu Gang tried his best to keep his voice soft. "I don't want to get along with anyone anymore, and I can live alone." Liu Yun said. "Then don't care what other people ask you." Wu Gang's usual personality traits are revealed at this moment, "Everything is the same, as long as you do it, others will care. The best way is not to worry about what they think, it's important What matters is how you see it." Liu Yun looked at Wu Gang with a puzzled expression.Wu Gang found that Liu Yun didn't really understand what he meant, so he continued: "You have been in the hospital for so many years, you must have heard people talking about my divorce?" Liu Yun nodded. "They said that I threatened my wife for divorce, forcing her to jump off a building, etc. Is that what they said?" Liu Yun nodded again. "Do you want to know what the truth is?" Wu Gang was a bit sad when he said this, he had never told anyone about it. Liu Yun nodded slightly this time. "That night, I went to run errands with a friend. On the way back, I passed her office. I saw the light in her office was still on, so I wanted to take her home by motorcycle. She is an accountant, and sometimes the monthly account It can't be finished, and overtime is common. When I pushed the door, the door was locked. When I knocked on the door, she and the man were there. Anyone can immediately understand what's going on, so I turn around and leave. Back When I got home, I found that I was not as angry as I thought. During the time I smoked a few cigarettes and waited for her to come back, I figured out one thing in my heart. I didn't love this woman anymore, maybe I never loved. After she came back, she immediately admitted the truth to me and begged me to forgive her." Wu Gang stopped here and looked at Liu Yun, she listened very attentively. "I still filed for divorce. I didn't explain the reason to her. She asked me if I hated her because of what happened to her? I said no. She begged me not to divorce. She said that since I didn't because of this incident If you hate her, there is no need for a divorce." Wu Gang took a breath and smiled self-deprecatingly. Liu Yun still looked at him intently, expecting him to continue. "She doesn't understand why I divorced." Wu Gang explained to Liu Yun. I don't know why Wu Gang's words reminded Liu Yun of himself.She looked away and sat back on the back of the chair, as if suddenly boosting her interest in continuing to listen. "What else do you want to hear?" Wu Gang asked cautiously, but his tone was firm, as if he had to let Liu Yun know about it. Liu Yun looked at Wu Gang and nodded hesitantly. "It was one night." Wu Gang continued after lighting a cigarette, "I went out to drink with some friends, and it was almost midnight when I got home. She was still awake, saying that she was waiting for me to talk about something. My attitude was very Not good, because I don't have the heart to listen to her, and I'm tired after drinking, and I just want to sleep." Wu Gang stopped here, like an expert in storytelling.But this time he didn't look at Liu Yun, and took a big sip from his glass. Liu Yun listened quietly, with no curiosity on his face. "She knelt down in front of me suddenly," Wu Gang looked at the place behind Liu Yun, as if he said these words inadvertently. "She begged me not to get a divorce, because that man cannot marry her." Wu Gang paused and continued, "I don't know whether it's her words or her actions that make me unbearable. I asked her to get up, and she hugged her tightly." She won't let go of my leg and won't get up. I scare her, but she doesn't care. She said that if I don't agree, she will just kneel down forever." At this moment, Liu Yun fixed his eyes firmly on Wu Gang's face, as if he really knew this person for the first time, as if she already knew what was going to happen next. "There's nothing I can do about it, but I know I can't say yes to her. What she did made me want a divorce even more." "What did you do?" Liu Yun finally asked. "I shook her off and walked to the balcony door. I asked her to get up, but she said, I won't agree, she will never get up. My anger immediately rushed to my head, I hate women who say never, I said, if you don't get up, I'll jump off the balcony." Liu Yun looked at Wu Gang, but Wu Gang didn't look at her, as if he was still staying at that night, standing by the balcony... "This is also the first time I understand women. I used to think that women are weak, and all they can do is to play a little temper and shed tears, but I was wrong. After I finished speaking, she looked up at me, Suddenly stopped crying. I thought she was scared and would stand up. Instead of standing up, she looked at me like that. I will never forget the look in her eyes at that time, but I can't tell what it was What kind of eyes. Don’t believe that I’m going to jump? Look down on me? Surprised? I can’t tell. Harder than a man's." Liu Yun's face was still calm, but she was trying to control herself so that Wu Gang would not find out that she was not at peace.Wu Gang's last words seemed to penetrate her, making her immediately think of herself. "I jumped down. We live on the fourth floor, but the first floor is semi-underground, otherwise I might not live today. I can't move on the ground, and my left leg hurts badly. I know it in my heart, probably Broken bones. I looked up to the balcony and I didn't realize she wasn't showing. It was night and I figured I couldn't move anyway, just waiting for someone to come and call for help." "She really didn't come down?" Liu Yun asked. "She came down, but it took a long time. She stood at the door of the building, looking at me from a distance of three or four meters. She didn't approach me, and she didn't ask a word. For a few seconds I seemed to be drained of all my blood, and I was about to die. I suddenly understood why she had another man, and why she didn't want to divorce me after the incident. At this time, I heard the sound of the ambulance, and my heart only The rest is the dislike of myself. Before this, I always felt that I didn’t love this woman. Or I didn’t love her at all. I always felt sorry for her because of this, and even thought she had another man, because I didn’t treat her well. She. She never approached me, and she didn't follow me when I got into the ambulance. Maybe she didn't think it was necessary, she called the ambulance from our hospital." "When you were hospitalized, she seemed to have visited you?" When Liu Yun asked, the wish in his heart was to make Wu Gang too sad.Liu Yun thought, what made Wu Gang unbearable was not the woman's indifference and departure, but Wu Gang's belief that he had lived in an illusion for so many years. "I came here once," Wu Gang replied, and his emotions slowly returned to the state before talking about this matter. "She came to tell me that she agreed to divorce. She still stood far away from me, as if she stood close to me. She was rough. Sometimes women are stronger than men. I wanted to scold her in front of everyone, but then I thought, people came to tell me about the divorce, so why should I still scold her? I don’t have the right anymore. "Wu Gang stopped here, Liu Yun could see that he still had something to say, but he couldn't say it.Liu Yun thought, what Wu Gang was hurt by the woman was not his feelings, but his self-esteem. "Do you think she is trying to piss people off on purpose, to show you that she has defeated you?" Liu Yun asked cautiously. "I think so," Wu Gang said, "maybe it's worse than this." "Why do you have to think so?" Liu Yun was a little excited. She wanted to comfort Wu Gang, but his firm attitude touched her sore spot again. "Maybe she was afraid, so she divorced. She was afraid that if you didn't divorce, you would hurt yourself again. This is also possible." Wu Gang did not refute Liu Yun, but shook his head seriously.The way he shook his head made Liu Yun despair, as if telling her that he would never change his opinion. "Why can't you change your opinion? Maybe she is not what you think." Liu Yun didn't understand why he suddenly became a little annoyed when he was persuading Wu Gang. "I didn't think about it, I just watched it." Wu Gang said. "Look at what?" "It depends on what people do." Wu Gang said. "You may be wrong." Liu Yun said. During their final conversation, Liu Yun understood the reason for his emotional change.Wu Gang said that he believed in his own eyes, and he just went to see. The direct stimulus to Liu Yun was that she was also one of the people being seen.Liu Yun then felt ashamed again, as if not only Wu Gang had witnessed the events that had happened, but they were now replaying in his memory.The unhealed wound in her heart burst open again at this time, gushing blood.She cares about Wu Gang very much. "You are too confident." Liu Yun almost shouted. "But I will never misread a woman again." Wu Gang didn't understand the real reason for Liu Yun's mood change, and he was even proud of himself for saying this sentence.He felt that Liu Yun would understand his words in this way: He used to miss women, but now he did not miss Liu Yun.She was going to the bathroom, and she left here with her bag.When Wu Gang came to the door, Liu Yun had disappeared without a trace.The night was as quiet and cool as ever, when a car horn sounded in the distance, Wu Gang shivered instinctively.