Chapter 25 twenty five

For the first time, I experienced the happiness that health gives people.I feel my strength is infinite, as Whitman sang: Oh, what joy is the brawny fighter! He stood upright in the arena, full of energy, eager to meet his opponent. And in the arena, I was at least tied with the formidable giants of the high-class laborers here - "two tops"!So, I felt a kind of exuberant vitality, a kind of masculine passion secretly surging in my body, I could even hear its sound like a sea tide... The next day, Hai Xixi was still driving alone Load the car again.I'm still on the handlebars with Dead Dog Pie.When we missed the car, he didn't look at me, but there was a look of frustration on his face.The hatred has passed, and he is just immersed in his gray emotions.A man of strength and vitality is suddenly like a reed beaten down by frost.Of course, this was not because I was kicked, but because I was hit harder in my heart.

From a very young age, I had a vulnerability to being infected by the pain of others.It's vulnerability, not all sympathy. Compassion creates positivity, whereas vulnerability only creates fear.After reading a novel about a paralyzed man, my lower body would be numb for several days; after reading a story about a blind man, I would be afraid of losing my eyesight.He fears the evil that will befall him more than he pities the paralyzed and the blind.This kind of vulnerability is more likely to produce an evil idea of ​​seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, which fundamentally eliminates the spirit of self-sacrifice.So, now I have no sympathy for Hai Xixi, but I am afraid of falling into the point where he is broken in love.

This evil nature, coupled with the incorrect concept of the so-called "manual laborer", urged me to fall into an abyss. When it was time to call it a day, I jumped out of Dead Dog Pie's car.She was in front of the horse, holding a handful of something in her hand, she waved it to me, and pouted again.I knew she must have a few buttons in her hand.After eating the barnyard flour buns brought from the kitchen, I went to her house.Now, almost half of the eight people in our team do not work.Today these few go to the field department, and tomorrow those few go to the field department, or they go to Zhennanpu to see if there is a registered letter. To pick up the registered letter and send the registered letter, we have to travel 60 miles back and forth, which shows our cultural life. up.Anyway, since we came to this team, we haven’t read a single newspaper of the current month, and haven’t heard a single broadcast. It’s really like the “Director of the Sales Department” said, this place is not as good as a labor camp—they are so busy because they are Everyone wants to leave here as soon as possible.In this way, they didn't pay any attention to my running out every night.This "home" covered with hay is just a hotel where a few people live temporarily, and no one cares what the passing passengers do.

Today, I am very excited, a little bit confused, but it seems very clear what is going to happen tonight.I have a kind of drunkenness from imagination, which is both sweet and somewhat sad.This intoxication made my consciousness drift over the fields like evening mist. I entered the door.There must be a special radiance on my face, there must be a strange look in my eyes, so she also stared at me with a strange, scorching light in her eyes.Her eyelashes are very long, and there is a circle of light blue under the eyelids, so her eyes are particularly deep, and the pupils are like stars in the dark night.She was still the same as yesterday, lying on the kang and sleeping with Ershe.She smiled treacherously, and pouted her lips on the earthen platform.Afterwards, she mechanically patted Ershe, while looking at me with a demented, fixed posture, as if thinking about something.There is a pot of mixed rice in a bowl on the earthen platform.I filled a bowl and ate slowly, trying to restrain myself and force myself to calm down by eating.At this time, I only heard her on the kang, patting Ershe, and singing softly: Jinshan (what) Yinshan () mountain is opposite (yo) mountain, layer upon layer (yo) of treasure mountains.

I hope (what) others will be in pairs (yes) I am lonely, brother (what yo) lives poorly. The pigeon (yo) nest on the head of Baiya (what) is (ah) a male pigeon or a hen pigeon. I miss you all night (can't) sleep (ah), the stars in the sky (ha) are counted. What all my upbringing had taught me about love was so different, even diametrically opposite, from the love I was now indulging in.That kind of love is tender and tender, reserved and meaningful, with a bit of sad melancholy in its wonderful taste, just like a delicate carnation with dewdrops.But the love expressed in her singing is straightforward, clear, and rough, full of indescribable passion.The affection in it is like the wind in the wilderness, it is hard to resist.

Ershe spit in her singing.She climbed down the kang lightly.Stretching out the cotton-padded jacket, he put his hands back his hair and smiled at me.I think for the first time a shy expression appeared on her face, and her cheeks were flushed.Her skin was darker, and the redness was more intense.When she moved her hands behind her head, her waist leaned back slightly, and her whole demeanor seemed to me to be lethargic from being torn by love. "What? Did you take it off, or did you nail it?" She asked me with a smile. Standing beside me with the threaded needle and thread in her hand, the bright red and purple on the cheeks of the daughter from the southern country made me flustered.I faltered and said, "Oh, oh... I'd better put it on and nail it on my body. I don't have any clothes inside, so I can't take it off..."

"You!" She giggled and pulled me up from the adobe stool, "What a shame. I'll have to sew you a sweater later...then untie the belt, what are you waiting for? "She spoke to me in a commanding tone, full of deep concern like a wife.I undid my belt very naturally and without any shame, and stood in front of her.I feel that it is my happiness that I can give myself to her, and my heart is full of trust and warmth for her. She didn't have to lower her head, and just nailed the buttons under my jaw stitch by stitch.Her black hair was very thick, and the few strands of hair that were not braided were naturally curled, emitting a faint blue brilliance under the yellow light.Her ears are very slender, with distinct helixes, and the outer ring and inner ring are well matched, like a work of art carved out by a carving knife.From her slightly protruding forehead, I saw her eyebrows, which were arranged almost equidistantly one by one, and bent into a charming curve along a very graceful arc.She opened the collar of her padded jacket, and I could see where her neck meets her shoulder blades.Her neck is long and round, without a single wrinkle, as smooth as marble; the curvature between the base of the neck and the shoulder blades reminds me of a swan... At this time, the strong, long-suppressed lust can no longer be suppressed. I couldn't bear it anymore, so that I lost my reason, just like when Hai Xixi swung me up in the air, so I suddenly opened my arms and pulled her into my arms.I heard her moan softly, and at the same time raised her head, looking for my eyes with a confused look.But I didn't dare to let her look, I lowered my head and buried my face deeply in the curve of her neck and shoulder blades.And she didn't struggle, she snuggled up to me obediently, her breathing was short and confused.But in less than a minute, she seemed to feel that these caresses were enough for me, she broke free from my arm suddenly and decisively, and brushed one hand on her chest like dusting, her face was red, and she looked sleepy and confused Looking at me, he stammered in an affectionate tone: "Okay, okay...don't do this...doing this will hurt your body, you'd better study your book!"