Chapter 29 fourteen

"The lingering silk is full of remnant orchids, and the heart is peeling off the bananas" ——Huang Zhongze "He is so enthusiastic! I know he will not be a cold person! He hugs me so tightly!" Lin Yanmei thought. "His stern face will never be there again! I am so terrified that I thought it was a dream. It can't be a dream. I will never leave him again, and I will never let him go again." Lin Yanmei let out another deep breath.She rolled her eyes slightly.The summer morning sun pierced through the white mist, dazzled, and was coming in through the car windows.She wanted to linger for a while longer, and hugged Fan Kuanhu tightly again, saying, "Ah! Meng Qin! Meng Qin! My fearful heart will never trample on me again!"

Xiaotong just came back after drinking soy milk. He got into the car and said to the road police behind him: "There are only four of us, but the car will start right away! Listen! The siren has already sounded. No one else will come up. Just leave it alone. " The road policeman said, "It doesn't matter if you're driving, I'll just get in the car and have a look." The sound of the siren and the sound of talking woke up the dreamer in the car.They were startled suddenly.The boy and the road police have already boarded the car.The road policeman saw it, stopped there for a while, and said humbly: "These students!" Fortunately, the car had already started, and he walked down by himself.The fog was still heavy in the morning, and he disappeared as soon as the car moved.

Fan Kuanyi, Fan Kuanhu, and Lian Xiaotong were stunned.Lin Yanmei was furious and humiliated, plus the blow and emptiness in her heart made her faint. Fan Kuanhu couldn't blame her for this, so he woke her up gently.She rolled down two lines of hot tears, turned over and put her face on the bag, grabbed the raincoat to cover herself, and wept bitterly.She swallowed the sobs so hard that she bit her lip.She seemed to be desperately trying to tear her heart apart, making it painful!Let it bleed, and this will save the heart that is on the verge of madness. When her emotions should be particularly complicated, her mind was blank.What else could she think?Everything is over.All she had to do was cry, and crying was not enough to anesthetize her. She would cry out her tears and blood, and pass out.She lay there and let the car jolt her. She hoped that the car would leave the railroad track and go straight to the deep mountain where no one would come back.

But the car is heading towards Kunming!She has lost her balance.She cried so much that her whole body was going to be broken, but her heart could not be paralyzed, and the memories became more vivid, and the pain was even worse. Xiao Tong was on the side, his feeling was a nameless anger.He hated himself why he didn't push that rude road policeman out of the car and beat him half to death!He also hated Fan Kuanhu, a ridiculous and rude thing, for daring to do this just now; now he panicked and froze like a fool.He also seemed to hate Lin Yanmei and Xiao Fan, he couldn't let go of his anger, and he turned his back to look out the car window.The mountains outside the car window are misty, and the outline of a round of daylight in the sky is very clear through the dew, but the distance cannot be determined.

"'These students'" he thought: "Good scolding! It hurts! The common people pay their food and taxes to let other people study in government-run schools. They are qualified to scold! It is painful! No matter how many students have a thousand Such a benefit, as long as you are scolded by them, you should be ashamed! "What else is there to miss in this school? Can you still hold your face?" He thought of leaving the school several times, and Dayu's banquet had explained it; now he must not go blindly by himself.Another time, someone from the Northeast of the school secretly recruited people who would sneak back to work in the three provinces in the Northeast. He wanted to join again, but the big banquet stopped him; He stayed; but now he is a student, and he has heard such sad and despicable words from the common people!

All he knew was this irritating sentence.When he got into the car, he only heard what Lin Yanmei seemed to say, but he didn't hear it clearly.Xiao Fan and her brother were suspicious, and the matter of shame and resentment was much more complicated than what he had in mind.Seeing Lin Yanmei's sad look, they wanted to ask but dared not. Fan Kuanyi saw that she was crying in a terrific manner, she didn't dare to delay any longer, so she gently pulled his brother to make him get out of the way, and she went to try to persuade him. She took off Lin Yanmei's raincoat that covered her head, and now she was frightening to death!The tip of her tongue and lips had been bitten by herself, and the raincoat, hands, and face were all covered with frightening blood.In addition, tears flowed vertically and horizontally, bringing blood directly to the sideburns and ears.Xiao Fan panicked and cried out.Fan Danghu himself resented Ai and trembled with anger.The little boy also turned around.

Xiao Fan said, "Xiaotong, do you have a way to find some clean water?" The little boy was also sad, but his anger still persisted, and he said dully, "Where can I find clean water!" Lin Yanmei pushed Xiao Fan away, she cried and said hoarsely: "You avoid me! Avoid me! Go!" Xiao Fan still sat there motionless, and waved Fan Kuanhu to go away: "Brother, go outside the car and rest for a while, I told you to come in again!" It seemed that she wanted to talk to Lin Yanmei alone. After hearing this, Fan Kuanhu didn't say a word, he lowered his head and went out of the car, and walked towards the pedals.The little boy was angry with him, but also noticed that there was a change in his expression, fearing that something might happen, he followed him without saying a word, and stood close to him.He looked back at the boy and let out a long sigh.Walking down the first floor and sitting down, Xiaotong also sat down, neither of them said anything.After sitting for a long time, I saw that it was Yang Zonghai again.The water of the lake is still clear and blue.

In the car, Xiao Fan suddenly heard shouting: "Little boy, come in. Lin Yanmei wants to talk to you." After hearing this, Xiao Tong hurriedly got up and came in, and saw that Lin Yanmei was still lying with her face on her back, and Xiao Fan had her hands on her shoulders.Pushing his lips towards her, he said, "She called you." "Little boy!" Lin Yanmei said with a weak breath, "Is there really no place to find some clean water for me to wash?" "Speak up! Boy!" Fan Kuanyi said. "My mouth is bitter and majestic!" Lin Yanmei said, "The fishy sweetness sticks together in my throat, I can't breathe!"

"Just wait a while." The boy couldn't bear to say, "We've arrived at Yang Zonghai. Wait a minute and stop at Kebao Village. I'll go to the faucet and get you a glass of water." Xiao Fan got up and motioned with his eyes for Xiaotong to sit down with her.Standing up gently by herself, she walked out of the car to accompany her brother. The little boy sat down, Lin Yanmei got up and told him to open the bag under his head to take out the cup, and then lay down again.This time she lay flat.The boy saw her face. This face is familiar.It doesn't matter whether it's smeared with makeup or blood and tears, it's the same, you can see the true color, nature, and heart.No diaphragm.He looked down at her, feeling annoyed and unable to bear it.The expression of kindness and sincerity mixed with her usual face was the expression that Lin Yanmei could accept in her current mood.

Although she wanted to be reprimanded, she felt that she had been too wronged.She was comforted by this face, and she looked at him at the same level, her eyes were like the eyes of a blind person who had lost their vision, filled with tears, dumbfounded. The little boy thought to himself: "This is really inexplicable. If I don't go out to drink soy milk when I get up early, I will probably be fine. At least when I go out, the car is quiet and the car is still going well." While thinking, he returned Turning his head and looking at the ground, he fiddled with the cup in his hand.He suddenly said: "Lin Yanmei, what's going on, I just got out of the car, why are you all awake?"

Lin Yanmei let out a breath, and said to herself, "'You all woke up!' I didn't wake up until you got in the car!" "I wanted to ask you to drink soy milk together, but I didn't call out after seeing that you were sleeping well. I wanted to get a cup again, but I was afraid that I would wake you both up. I knew I would wake you up." "Why didn't you call? What could I have known earlier!" Lin Yanmei said, "I would never have woken up if I had known." "Are you dreaming?" The boy asked strangely, "You didn't wake up until I got into the car?" "Why do you ask it! Oh!" she said, "Aren't you dreaming now? I think life is a dream, but there are small dreams in the big dream." "This kind of talk sounds clever but is actually confusing. It's what the patient said." "I'm only laughing at myself for being stupid. How come I didn't understand until now, today?" "You don't understand even more! You are more fascinated and confused!" "You are a person who is not confused, does not dream, and is awake. Why didn't you wake me up earlier! Even if it was only a few minutes earlier!" "How can I know whether the dreamer is willing or not? The dreamer hopes to never wake up until a thunder strikes. The unhappy person wishes his life to be a nightmare." "Both of these are hard things, boy! You see, I went through them all in a few minutes!" "I don't quite understand." "You don't need to understand. Let me ask you, what did you tell me last night when you were going to sleep?" "I said you should dream well." "I did it." After she said this, how could she not recall the dream?How could she not feel sad and helpless?She felt as if she had accidentally broken a beloved thing, and she couldn't make it up again.She wished desperately that it was an illusion, that it hadn't happened.But this is impossible.She hoped that she would lose her mind immediately, become a madman, and lose consciousness, so that the days to come would cease to exist.Although she can't turn back time, at least she can stop time. There are so many lunatics in this world whose causes are like this.The so-called aroused, will become a lunatic.When I get excited, I just can't turn my mind away for a while, and I can't get rid of this twist. As Lin Yanmei spoke, her eyes froze a little.At this time, she could no longer see everything in front of her eyes, and her eyes were filled with the reappearance of the dream she had had.Xiaotong stared at her blankly, feeling strange, when the car stopped, he said: "I think I really have to get you some cold water. You look like you haven't woken up yet. Which floor did you go to in your dream? Even I can't tell the truth. I have to get some cold water to freeze it. Once it's frozen, you must wake up!" Because he didn't know what was going on, he laughed again as he said it.On the one hand, he lowered his head, put his hands behind his back, made an air of deep thought, flicked the cup behind his back with both hands, and got out of the car.At the door of the car, there were road policemen stopping people from getting on the car.Seeing him getting out of the car in a big way, I was surprised and said, "Why are you in the car?" "We rented the car." He babbled all the way and walked down. "The road police are here again!" Thinking about it, Lin Yanmei woke up a little, and she recalled the boy's expression when he got out of the car, "This kid! I had him in my dream too! Running all over the mountain, I don't know what I'm doing!" As she thought about it, she wished that he would bring water back soon, to see if he looked like in the dream.So she fell silent for a moment and waited for the boy to come back.He stood up again to look at the Fan brothers and sisters outside the car, Fan Kuanyi was also seeing her, seeing her looking this way, he pretended not to see her, then lowered his head to talk to her brother. The little boy came back from fetching water, and the car started again. Without saying a word, he approached Meng Guding and splashed a glass of cold water on her face, splashing her head and body, and she cried out in surprise: " Boy! Are you crazy? What’s going on here? My face was wet before I washed it, and it’s even worse!” The little boy said: "God! Turn around and call me crazy. These few words sound like you're not sick. I won't believe you're really awake until you say something reasonable." She also felt good after hearing that. , and felt the child's intentions.So he wiped the water from his face and hair with his hands, and flicked it to the ground, glaring at him.Fan Kuanyi also saw it outside the car, and felt that Xiaotong had to deal with her at this moment, so she still didn't come in.How much work does she have to discuss with her brother in detail. Xiao Tong took out a towel from the bag for her and asked her to wipe it by herself, telling her not to lick her lips, as it would cause scars.The two of them stopped talking and went to clean up the water on the seat.Lin Yanmei also stood up and shook the water off her body. This inadvertent but habitual daily routine, when people are disturbed, is like an old horse that knows the way, carrying a samurai wounded in battle on his back home to rest, it can make people confused His thoughts were temporarily gathered.It took the two of them a long time to clean it up.Xiaotong snatched the bag again and wanted to tidy it up for her, and wanted to peek at what was inside, so frightened Lin Yanmei rushed to grab it and quarreled for a long time. After a while, Fan Kuanhu's brother and sister came in, and Xiao Fan said: "Chenggong is ahead, we have to go down. School will start soon, see you in the city." Fan Kuanhu came up to speak.Xiao Fan tried to drag him back by force.He stood firmly this time without retreating, and said to Lin Yanmei: "Yanmei, I reserve the right to explain to you when we meet next time." She lowered her head and nodded a little.They left.The little boy gave them their toiletry in the bag.When they got out of the car, the vegetable sellers rushed up one after another. It was already seven o'clock in the morning and the sky was bright. Lin Yanmei is not used to scolding others, and she can't do it this time either.When I woke up from the dream, I was wrapping my arms around someone.What's more, if you talk about big things, of course you say big or small things to yourself in the past year.It's really hard to talk about.Fortunately, from her point of view, the little boy in front of her was a person whose interests were elsewhere.The two pretended to each other as if they didn't know about such an incident, talking about Kunming, about Shi Xuanwen's affairs in Chongqing, about the big banquet to open a school, his little rabbit was going to give birth to smaller rabbits, and so on. . Of course, Lin Yanmei knew in her heart that Xiaotong couldn't say anything other than these words.She just listened.But in the end, I can't focus on this, so I often lose my mind and answer questions that don't matter.Xiaotong blamed her for dreaming again.She apologized and said that she was not dreaming again, but was thinking about something else.She was sad and didn't want to be out alone. She was homesick at the moment. Xiaotong couldn't help being silent when he heard this, and put away his chaotic thoughts for a while, complaining that the school environment didn't take good care of her, which made her sad to leave.As for her, seeing Xiaotong was also full of worries, and she regretted saying that she was alone, and neglected her classmates and friends.So he cheered up and chatted.She doesn't feel very grateful.I am grateful for this kind-hearted, childish and ignorant boy who is always so kind. In fact, Lin Yanmei in Xiaotong's eyes has indeed changed a bit.This is the impact on his own heart, and he feels that others have changed.How can this effect be explained?He always thought that Lin Yanmei was everyone's younger sister, playing together and studying together.Having her in school is like having a smart and sensible little sister in the family.Today, as soon as I got in the car and saw Fan Kuanhu kissing her, I suddenly felt that my observation was wrong, and I was very depressed.He couldn't tell why.It seems that this little sister doesn't treat everyone as brothers and sisters, and she can be perfunctory to everyone.But in private, there are other intentions.She is at best an ordinary female classmate.She has more ability than other female classmates to earn everyone's love, and everyone loves her, but she has always acted like an ordinary daughter, choosing her boyfriends carefully.It is a look to Dayu, and a kind of demeanor to Fan Kuanhu.In short, in her heart, there are thick and thin male students.She wants to win them over and choose them.And in the hearts of male students?At least he thinks so, everyone regards her as a treasure and dare not insult her.No one can make a move.He felt unfair. Thinking of Fan Kuanhu, he also felt that male classmates also behaved unfairly.He was even more unhappy.His age made him wish for an impossible thing. He hoped that everyone would always be together as they were a year ago, which is very good.It's just that it's a good thing to be together. Now he realizes that there are yin and yang in this school. He is a person who always lives under the sun. He suddenly realizes that there are many things he does not know when the sun is not in the sky, and he is not happy. After he was unhappy, he felt disgusted. He felt that these things were not related to Tong Xiaoxian's name, nor were they between his good friends, good brothers, and sisters.He still goes to be a citizen of the day, not asking about the politics of the kingdom of night. But, does Lin Yanmei belong to the night?Is she outside his good brothers and sisters?Did he discover what he saw because he broke into the dark realm, or was it caused by the darkness invading into the light?If Fan Kuanhu fell in love with Lin Yanmei, it wouldn't be a bad thing!With Lin Yanmei in this problem, he couldn't think about it, and he couldn't think it was something that he could ignore. Falling in love and making friends are both good things. In his opinion, as long as they are harmonious and beautiful, they are all bright things, and fake love that deceives others and pretends to be sentimental, with no distinction between profit and emotion, and low-quality fake love is disgusting of.They are not low-level characters, why did such a strange thing happen.Being taunted by the police doesn't count.Afterwards, the two never exchanged a word, and she even cried like this! When it comes to love, he can say that everyone is in love with this girl, Dayu, Fan Kuanhu, and himself.They both have the same weight in love.He felt that this was fair, and it would be unimaginable if someone made a conscious effort to squeeze others away secretly. He also felt as if several people were admiring a tree of beautiful flowers together. When Aiyue was speechless, suddenly one person reached out and broke the flowers, which made everyone feel sorry, and the flowers also withered.This is really outrageous behavior.He will never snatch it, and the petals will be rubbed off one after another.He can only walk away silently, to lament the inhumanity of the creator, who not only made flowers, but also made flower breakers. But in front of him, he was right about the flower. He was full of doubts, but he couldn't open his mouth.By nature he doesn't want to talk about sad things anymore, so he talks about things he likes to talk about.Soon, the car arrived in Kunming. After getting out of the car, Lin Yanmei said: "Little boy, I want to go to the Catholic Church on Pingzheng Street to find my aunt by car. Tell Wu Baosheng and Shi Xuanwen that I can do it there?" Then he got into a foreign car . Since he didn't intend to listen to other people's opinions in this question, Xiao Tong could only send the bag to the car, watched her wave her hand, and left.He also lowered his head and walked back to school silently.Along the way, he planned to see Shi Xuanwen, what would Wu Baosheng say about this matter. Back on Wenlin Street, we met Dayan, Zhu Shiqiao, Feng Xinxian and Dayu.Four people, four and a half old blue cloth coats, moved over like a blue wall.Everyone carried a large stack of books, all of the same size, bound with fine twine, as if the mud skin of the wall had peeled off, exposing bricks. When they approached, Dayu said to him, "Are you back? When will Fan Kuanhu's shelter end? He is the only one left now." The little boy wondered what kind of books these were, and without raising his head, he said, "I don't really know; it's just these few days. I heard that someone who will take over has been appointed." The paper on the book was pulled out from under the twine, and it turned out that Feng Xinxian's manuscript had been printed.He shouted: "Feng Xinxian, why haven't I heard of it before! Hey! I almost forgot! Congratulations!" "How does he know?" Feng Xinxian asked the banquet in surprise.The banquet also felt strange.The little boy understood.He said, "I'm afraid I've hit two pieces of news with one sentence. Is it double happiness?" Zhu Shiqiao said: "Don't make noise in the street, and your help is indispensable. Come with us to Mr. Jin's house and talk slowly." Xiaotong didn't dare to make a fuss in front of him, so he stopped arguing.Said: "I still have something to do, I have to go to Wu Baosheng and Shi Xuanwen first." Then he ran away: "I'll wait an hour to find you. Now I can't leave at all." Dayu saw that his face was different and different from his usual happy look, so he called to him: "Xiao Tong, did you come back by the morning train? Did you come back alone? Or did you come back together?" "It's two." He turned around and said, "I'll tell you later." After saying that, he entered the gate of the North Courtyard. Dayan and the three of them were just happy about Feng Xinxian's matter, and they continued talking without paying attention to the conversation with Xiaotong's sudden change of expression.Dayu followed suit. Feng Xinxian was still wondering what the little boy asked was so coincidental.He is still concentrating on writing novels now, and he is planning a novel with a more complete form. He thinks: "This kind of dialogue can save pen and ink when narrating stories." The publication of his book has gone through some twists and turns.At present, prices are soaring, paper is scarce, and cultural undertakings seem to be the most neglected by people. The people who print books are very careful.People who buy books are not so afraid to buy novels and read them. If they can borrow novels, they will borrow them.Even those who have books are reluctant to borrow them, fearing that they will lose them, so they will force them to borrow them.Short essays and the like, I stood in the bookstore and leaned against the bookcase to read.Even in order to save this little money, I stood there and read absorbedly, and the purse in my pocket was taken out by Xiaoshu, I would only feel sad afterwards, regretting that I lost several times the price of the book, and never dared to buy it home and read it freely. As for paper, the heavy Daolin paper used to print bank account books, as long as it can afford a high price, merchants with their own hoards are willing to sell it.Local newspapers for printing books are produced in paper mills, but the paper shop people dare not take them because they are afraid that the interest will be suppressed.Therefore, the news of Feng Xinxian's publication of the book has never been confirmed. This matter was all thanks to Dayu's help. He was familiar with the people in the newspaper. Every time something happened, he would go to negotiate immediately. Press out the cardboard and set aside.Feng Xinxian was deeply afraid that the publication of the book would not be successful, which would only increase the laughing stock, so at the beginning of his plan, he felt that the success of the project was half a day, and the meeting with Yu Mengqin was not a real book, and he would never tell anyone. Yu Mengqin understood what the author meant, so he naturally agreed not to tell anyone.But he has always taken all the students in the school to improve their conduct, supervise academic mistakes and other things, and help them work as their own responsibility. , and if it cannot be printed, it will never give up.He forbade himself to have Feng Xinxian's idea of ​​taking a step back, so he came to urge the matter whenever he had free time amidst the busy schedule of setting up the ambulance station.After the typesetting, and helping to proofread overnight, the ambulance station was just over, and the book was about to be printed, so he went to read it several times a day, and he seemed more enthusiastic than the author. Now, it has finally been printed. On the first night, he invited Feng Xinxian. During the banquet, Zhu Shiqiao ate a meal to congratulate Feng Xinxian. After dinner, it was already late, and he led the three of them into the printing office. After begging for a new book that was bound with the paste still wet, the four of them went to the teahouse to read it.Unexpectedly, a sentence added after Feng Xin's title was not printed.He then said: "Our proofreading is accurate enough, and there is not a single typo, which can be called a rare thing in new books after the war. But this sentence is not allowed. You go back and rest early, and I will go to the printing office again. Tomorrow morning, I'll ask you to go to the printing office to take out the first batch of bound books and come back, and I have other things to do." He ran back to the printing office in the middle of the night and told the typesetting room that he had arranged that sentence in many lines and printed many leaflets.Early this morning, everyone went to pick it up and prepared to borrow it from Mr. Jin's place for pasting. Feng Xinxian and his soon-to-be bride, Shen Jia, always met at Mr. Jin's house.He was full of complacency at the moment, he hoped that he would meet Shen Jia there and confide in him. On the way, he met an old friend slapping him in the wrong direction, and he said his congratulations, and he was very happy.He had a lot of fantasies, and at this moment, he seemed to see Shen Jia's slender hands helping them cut and paste, while pouring tea and water, greeting his classmates and friends, while complaining that he didn't tell her earlier to make her happy.When he picked up the book in the morning, he only used one-third of the royalties he decided to pay for the book as a small treat. A dozen or so acquaintances told Dayu and the others about the wedding for the first time, and said Mr. Shen also thinks that this son-in-law has noble ambitions, and he can support the family, and he doesn't care about the wedding feast.After hearing this, Dayu asked him if Shen Jia was also kept secret about the recent availability of the book, and he smiled and said, "I also kept it from him, keeping it the same way, impartial." He then explained how old Mr. Shen was so forthright. .Allow him to do so.I think it's because of the living situation in front of me. Unless these poor teachers don't want to get married, they can only be more sincere, and the ceremony has to be reduced a little.As for himself, he always felt a little sorry for Shen Jia, because he knew that Shen Jia liked to pretend to be a bride very delicately.But he also said that Shen Jia's love is different from that of ordinary women, and she will sacrifice a little of her own vanity for him; and giving the bride a little chance to sacrifice for the groom can often make her feel virtuous and become a more gentle housewife of. Ever since Feng Xinxian told the good news and received the congratulations from these three close friends, he couldn't hold back the conversation any longer. Learning, talking about the necessity of marriage.Just like after his first engagement. What they talked together this morning was all such happy words. Fortunately, they had a new book in their hands, otherwise they might have to dance.This happy atmosphere reached the front door of Jin's house, saw Mr. Jin and Mrs. Shen and his wife, and when they recounted it, it swelled uncomfortably, and after Shen Jia came, the two hidden happy events collided together. The small group is almost exploding with joy! Xiao Tong's side was different, he was so troubled, he wished he could go to Wu Baosheng's place so that he could talk to them, put this matter on his mind to Wu Baosheng's and the others', and then listen to their persuasion.They must see that because of Lin Yanmei's distressed situation, they temporarily hold back the trouble of this doubt to persuade him.I didn't expect to rush there, the door was locked, and people went out.He ran to the laboratory to see nothing.I had to turn around and go to the south courtyard to look for it.He couldn't even take care of his heart to go back to the new school building to see the rabbits and pigeons, and blamed himself for forgetting to ask Da Yanmei if Kiss was back. He waited for a long time to wait for the female students who were not waiting for the briefing meeting, so he had to arrest someone to ask before the old lady came out.The one who came out was a new student who had just moved in and was waiting to enroll. The people he wanted to ask, although she was famous, she didn't know everyone. After being popular for a long time, Ling Xihui and Qiao Qianyin came out, but he didn't notice.The two of them couldn't see what they meant to make him so anxious, so they approached and asked, "Little Tong, is your girlfriend? You don't want to introduce us?" The little boy recited a Buddha and said, "Come out. personal." The girl felt ashamed when she heard the word "Xiaotong", but stood still.Hearing the boy talking indecently, he laughed, and said, "Trouble me for a long time, just say that you can't help, and you can't be regarded as a person who has come out!" Ling Xihui asked what was going on when she heard it, and then After exchanging names, the new student knew that the three in front of him were all influential figures in the school, so he stood together and listened to their conversation.Xiaotong didn't care about having her by his side, so he stopped gossiping and wanted to find Wu Baosheng. Ling Xihui said, "Why are you in the South Courtyard?" "I've been to her room, and the door is locked. Where's Shi Yiwen?" "She is temporarily staying in Mr. Zhao's house, the dormitory supervisor. We walked by just now, and she is not there." Qiao Qianyin said. "She has something to look for them." Ling Xihui said to Qiao Qianyin.Then he asked the boy: "Can you tell us something, so that I can speak for you when we see it?" "I can't say anything, the matter is very important!" Xiao Tong said, "Lin Yan is now in the Catholic Church on Pingzheng Street, and I want them to visit her." "Cathedral?" They all looked at each other and asked, "You're back! Are you sick? Why don't you come back to school?" "I'm not sick. The Catholic Church is not a hospital." Xiao Tong said, "I don't understand why she didn't come back to school. But when she got off the train, she just said this and left without waiting for my reply." "Maybe it's just a random talk?" Ling Xihui guessed, "She wants to see Shi Xuanwen? ... But it's not like that at all. How can there be any reason to go back to Kunming and hide again? What do you think, boy? What's the matter?" Can’t you tell me something? I can tell from your look, it’s hard to keep it secret! If we can’t listen, we can tell you that we can’t listen. It’s okay, we will still pass on the message for you, just say what you said, Lin Yanmei wants They went to see her in the Catholic Church, the matter is very important! The little boy is so anxious that he will hold on to someone he doesn't recognize?" Xiaotong thought for a while and said, "That's it, you just tell them that." "However. Boy, you know, Lin Yanmei has never told anyone. It can be said that there is no need for you to be so sneaky. The few of us have been friends since she entered school, and we care about her no less than others. If You don't want to say it because you have something to do here, you want to hide something for yourself, things will come to light sooner or later, when the time comes, I won't forgive you, just be careful." Xiao Tong thought about it, but still couldn't say it, remembering that in the car Lin Yanmei bit her lip and shed blood, it was terrible.He himself is also a person who has never been ignorant of everything, so there is no need to be afraid that Ling Xihui will squeeze him out.He still didn't say anything.The girl next to her heard that it was Lin Yanmei's affair again, and this one is even more famous.She simply wanted to understand. Qiao Qianyin was not happy to hear Ling Xihui bickering.She said: "We heard that there was something in your words. Since this is her business, we can't rest assured if we don't understand it. Besides, you know how fast rumors spread here, and there are so many things about her. You don't remember going to Was it about Fan Kuanhu throwing Kuang Jinyuan into the pool? That time you still refuted the rumors. Now you are doing the opposite, creating an air of mystery. Lin Yanmei’s matter is the most unbearable to be rumored by others, and she will have nothing It's a big deal, why did you hurt her!" Xiao Tong suddenly realized the horror of the rumors, Chenggong must have turned the world upside down, and there was a little fan in the middle, who might even exaggerate and advocate to create opportunities for her brother.No one can see her intentions.What's more, Lin Yanmei once said in the car this morning: "You avoid me, avoid me, and go!" These words clearly did not include herself, and it was obvious that the two siblings staged this incident.They will definitely play again.Besides, Lin Yanmei got off the car and went to the Catholic Church.She came back to school without saying that she would go for a while, but asked the two sisters to visit her, which would also arouse suspicion.It is not known how much it may cause doubts in the future.Since I am the person on the spot, it is incumbent on me to distinguish right from wrong.So instead of waiting for the rumors to be established before arguing, it's better to lay the groundwork now. Besides, a kiss is not a big deal, and there is no need to hesitate.What he couldn't talk about was Lin Yanhai's terrible and sad scene later, and Fan Kuanhu's words "reserve the right to explain" before leaving.Of course he doesn't know these things, even Shang Yanmei's words about dreams or not are very elusive.But he can at least narrate the facts to lay a foundation for the facts and prevent rumors from flying around arbitrarily.He needs to do this, and he can't be lazy. He thought about it carefully and talked about going to Yiliang.In the end, he said that he got out of the car to eat soy milk, and it was only a little over a quarter of an hour.The three of them were still asleep when they got out of the car, and when they got in the car, they were already crying and screaming. "Maybe it was insulted by the road police who said: 'These students!'." He said: "But from her tone later, it didn't sound like it. She seemed to be really angry with the Fan family brothers and sisters, and seemed to be hit by this incident. But I can't understand, when I saw her when I got in the car, I let go of Fan Kuanhu's neck, why did I regret it so quickly? "I went to Chenggong to see that she was on good terms with Fan Kuanhu. It is rumored that Liang Chonghuai and Fan Kuanhu's affairs were not obvious at all. This morning, I only heard her say a word when I got in the car. Fan Kuanhu didn't answer her. He kept silent until he got out of the car and said such a strange thing." Xiaotong carefully used extremely objective sentences to recount the process, and he also reviewed the incident, and the feeling of unhappiness and disgust hit him again.He felt that he put so much effort into this matter, why did he come here.But he couldn't hide his laziness by nature. Qiao Qianyin and Ling Xihui were also shocked.This was obviously an accident.If they had known this, they would have considered whether to ask.The two of them looked at each other, then at the girl, not knowing what to say.The girl bowed her head and left. Ling Xihui said: "What to do! I can't find Wu Baosheng, Shi Xuanwen and the others. I want to visit her again. Isn't this a panic?" Qiao Qianyin said: "The matter is over. It is much better for her to be with her aunt now. She may not want us to go. We have to wait for her to come. It is important to find Wu Baosheng separately now. There is no use in rushing." Saying that, the three of them walked out of the south courtyard.By the way, Xiaotong told them about meeting Feng Xinxian and them in the morning.He also said: "Shen Jian, Shen Jia, Liang Chongrong, and Liang Chonghuai seem to be treated much better by God. Why are people like Lin Yanmei willing to ignore them?" Ling Xihui wanted to ask Qiao Qianyin something, so she urged him to go to Jin's house to do business, saying: "She has too many things to do in this role, and God can't take care of her! It has been like this since ancient times!" and sent him away. She waited for the little boy to go far away, then asked Qiao Qianyin in a low voice: "After Yanmei's rote reading exercise before the summer vacation, I heard from you that she and Dayu were very close, didn't they? Did a car crash cause the two of them to quarrel?" ? But if I went to Chenggong to find Fan Kuanhu, it wouldn’t be too late!” "I don't know why she went to Chenggong." Qiao Qianyin said: "One time, Xiao Tong explained that she was going to do some work and strive for success. This was too serious. In short, she can be sure of Fan Kuanhong. She said that the relationship will not be very deep. Besides, if she gets angry here, she will go there. It is definitely not Lin Yanmei's behavior. In fact, a car accident is not necessarily harmful to her relationship with Dayu. Dayu那天下了办公就来找她，是碰见了我，由我去找的，据有人看见的说将将晚了一步，出去了。大余还不信，他以为是蔺燕梅生他的气不见他。言下很后悔自己说话太伤人，求我替他解释。我还借此为燕梅出了一口气，把他平日伤蔺燕梅心的地方搬了出来，数落了他一顿。他老老实实地听着，越听越难过。过后知道燕梅到呈贡去了。他真是有苦说不出，闷了许久。大家都看出来的。” “这么说来，她不去呈贡倒不好了。”凌希慧说：“可是去了呈贡，弄出这么一个疑团，那就更糟了。大余对学校里男女同学交际的事，言论多么苛刻、古板，他的论调几年来就没有变过。他尤其反对出风头的人物那些拢在大家眼前，像电影似的浪漫事件。你说这一下子，燕梅怎么解释？” “燕梅我想根本不会去解释。我知道她不爱范宽湖。人人也都知道，所以对谁也不用解释。不过大余那边想完全不解释就难了。”乔倩垠说：“我当然希望他受这一刺激，马上正式表明态度，向燕梅求婚或是怎样，都好。但是太不可能了。在这以前，你知道，大余的论调我自己是全盘赞成的。不论男女，没有道理朝三暮四的。哪国风俗也没有今天咱们这么乱。所以我觉得燕梅确实可贵。她的人品，锋芒，硬收起来是不容易的。我真盼望能作成他们。现在看看要完了。” “这就是我要问你的话了。”凌希慧说：“我离校一年多。我不大清楚。你说燕梅跟什么人特别亲昵过没有？我是真觉得燕梅这次哭成那样，与其说是气别人，不如说是气自己。你听小童说，范宽湖临下车时，她并没有骂什么，只是点了点头。她没有哭着打他骂他，光是把自己弄得那么苦，她仿佛是非常重视自己的情感。尤其是一个吻。索性明白地说罢，知道她吻过什么人没有？我该不该这么问？” “我倒希望人人都这么问我。”乔倩垠说：“我也想这样问问所有关心的人是不是和我同感。燕梅对谁也一样好。当然有些人特别令她喜欢，比如说大余，她管去顾一白先生家和她的大余见面，叫做朝圣。他俩个之间令谁也想不起学问以外的事来。他们虽然在别人眼中已经成了一对情人，再也无疑，只是这对情人作风太不同。燕梅又是那种冰清玉洁的神情。明爽，流丽得生活之中再也没有半点疑影。令人只有敬重不敢轻薄。还有，就是小童，他只能算是她的小朋友，这两个孩子混到一起，真气得死人！全是些孩子话，倒像一对小弟妹。他们总是跟伍宝笙或是别的大些的女孩子一块玩。小童很少来找她过。只有碰上了，才在一起，却又偏有那么些说不完的几车子的话。 “你问的这件事，我单凭感觉就敢保没有。我觉得她这种作风一点勉强也没有。她平常生活是好感情用事，恋情时却用的是脑子。她自觉身份不比寻常，这是自然又自然的事。不光是我。无论谁，只要真熟悉她的性情，一定忍不住要为她具保的！” “至于这么掳袖攘拳地！”凌希慧笑着看了她说。她也实在有同感，她竟觉听到这种恳切的辩护，使心上想像与事实符合，快乐得到了极点：“当然你的意思并不是说，她是个心冷寡情的人？” “当然不！”乔倩垠更兴奋地说：“若是一天到晚嚣张着闹恋爱就是热情，我真不知道情是什么东西了！她是一团真情，真火在心里，才能镇定得这样！她才是真恋爱，我想这次如果吻她的是大余，我才一点不奇怪。女孩子不用去电影里学拥抱，再到男同学中找对象练习。她自然会！可怪的这回是范宽湖而不是余孟勤，她会热烈的那样，当了小范的面，又在车上。” 凌希慧听得简直对胃口极了。她听下这言论，如闻知心的友人谈论自己，如听极和谐的音乐，如对了极美丽的协调的色彩构图。但她不是个娇嫩的小姐，她不常一下子沉潜在深情中。她往往在此时发出一些使人易色的冷语来，常常令人觉得刁钻古怪，不敢亲近。然而今天也感动了。 她撮唇作响，说：“哟！乔倩垠。肚里有这么一套，倒是真想不到。再说什么天然会，不用学，我听得都有点不好意思。大余听了都不能不生情呢！” “那有什么！”乔倩垠深知凌希慧脾气，绝不可在这时显得小家子气，怕那便不免更加难堪。她说；“我对真理的看法是永恒的。时事，和历史都是一样，何用掺进自己感情进去！如果你今日操琴，也不能想顾曲的周郎罢！” 凌希慧喜欢她近来身体大有进步，深庆自己作主把她从医院接出来未成过错。看她今日如此有精神，也不跟她争辩，只伴了她在校中各处去找了一遍伍宝笙，史宣文不见。两个人就按原定计划进城理发去了。 小童自己又到米线大王，翠湖，去找了一圈，没见到她俩，便去金家找大余他们去了。他虽然未得向伍宝笙倾吐这一件不快的事，却得机会向另外两个老朋友说了一遍，看了她们之关切，不下于自己，心上也松快了一些。再则得机会把经过重述了一下，对事情有了已成过去之感，又仿佛条理也不那么乱了。到了金家，大门开着，便一直闯到客厅兼书房的金先生起居室里。看见一屋子的人，同一屋子装不下的笑语声，就更恢复些了。金先生独自在窗下一张最舒服的大椅上看书，其余的全在方桌四转，站着或是坐着，桌上平日摆着的笔架、印泥，砚石，墨水瓶及几叠的书籍，全挪到茶几上，地板上去了。现在上面是大碗的浆糊、刀剪，纸条儿，新书。 金先生说：“来得好。有了你就更热闹。请随便罢。我不让坐了。事实上椅子都在什么地方，我也不清楚了。”说得大家都笑起来。 小童打了招呼，就先问大宴，鸽子回来了没有，才再问桌子上是怎么一回事。他们告诉了他，他便先不下手帮忙，抓书先看。沈葭绕过桌子来叫了他一声：“小童！” 他白着眼说：“什么？” “道喜呀！”大余说。那边金先生也放下书来看他。他才猛了想起，忙着道喜。沈葭瞪他一眼，才去给他倒茶。冯新衔便问他方才是真猜着了，还是误会了，不知怎的，今天出的事情特别多，又忘了。大家都知道他一向乱哄哄的，只是笑他。并不怪他。 大余却想起早上未问他的话，但是他是精细人，从小童眼色上看出是件烦恼不愉快的事，在这喜气洋溢的屋中不便问。再者，心中所欲知道的蔺燕梅，既然早上听他说已回来了，下午自己可以去找她，此刻也不用多问。况且在这种场合下，问起自己女朋友的近况，是多么令人易于联想，和揶揄他呀！他从蔺燕梅下乡之后，听了乔倩垠在情在理地抢白了他一顿归来，心上便不觉为一线柔丝缭绕得好难排遣！他此刻充分恣情地自享相思之乐，留了心上一点说不出的愉快来撞击自己的心，嘴上随和着大家作轻松的谈笑，手中做着简易的剪纸工作。他听了冯新衔得意的声口，还向他瞟一眼，对自己说：“别以为只有你是世界上最快乐的人呢！” 余孟勤的恋爱是在不觉之中慢慢滋长起来的。直到乔倩垠一下用了描写恋爱场中儿女的口吻，述说了他自己和蔺燕梅之间种种令人不平的事件才使他发觉自己已是陷足情海的人了。不是他愿意不愿意的问题，而是别人硬把他拖下去了。在校中他俩已被人认为是一对情人，这多么突然！他怎么这么迟钝，今天才发现！这好似在沉思中旅行，猛回首发现已走完了一大段路。竟觉太邀天之幸了。 他固然觉得被别人用些柔软的字眼来描写自己很觉不惯。但是也感到怪新奇，怪异样，怪舒服的。眼前又偏偏没有他的燕梅，于是那自尊心也可暂时忽略一下。这一忽略不要紧，好比才经一场春雨，又来一阵阳光，那幼苗便按捺不住地怒长了。 他对蔺燕梅一向的求全责备，令好者亦无从显其美，令短处更觉局促，真是情感上的冰霜，这一下子，挑剔的对象不在眼前，他便仿佛如有所失，不再能给自己批判。只有一任他自由发展了。 他如果说过去完全不曾感到蔺燕海之可爱，及她在自己心上之重要，那不但无人能信，甚至自己也不信。他越看蔺燕梅越出众，出众得渐渐地感到自己也是向上仰首看她的了。但是见了面却不知从那儿来的，无穷无尽的挑剔的话，并且说起来气盛得很。 他不是个量狭的人，他更是心理学有研究的人。他事后自忖，常觉当时自己滔滔不绝地教训别人时，在灵魂深处，倒是那个柔顺和婉的，曲意听从他的，大方地认错自怨的，又用怜恤，关怀的眼光来看他的人更高超，更有学问，更有资格来在修养上，提携他！ 他仿佛觉得自己是个火气方刚的年青宣教士，到处热心的讲道。而人家是一位有夙根，有慧心的大师，早已造诣极深，清虚静寂之中，容忍他，看他叫嚣跳跶，等候他火气慢慢自消。他感觉自己在救人，而实在是人家对他无限慈悲。 他反躬自省时，很能明白这情形，也懂得这些心理现象。但是再一见面，便如苦行的头陀，见到了道行更天然，更玄妙而不一定苦行的修士时，又怒从心起，忍不住批评，于是老毛病再一齐复活。 所以他的恋爱感觉便为这些太重、太冷的思潮压倒了。 然而蔺燕梅的人品，言行，又偏偏符合了，甚至高出了他认为没有的标准。他不见得希望别人不好，他是詈骂得惯了，没想到来了个又洁净，又聪明的角色，一下子堵了他的嘴，令他一时改不了口。这个弯儿真不容易转！他又是众目所注的人，更难转圆。人能有几个是真圣贤？谁能这么不阿私？ 他的心理学知识不能及早唤醒他又何足怪。有几个人能在研究自然现象时始终记得自己也是逃不出这规律的？ 他的恋爱是很重地，很尖锐地，又很致命地向他袭来了。 他闪躲不开，行将被打倒，被打碎。他的理论，信心，一旦粉碎，在新见解未建立之前，他是非毁灭了不可的！ 偏偏这时候，蔺燕梅驾车出事，也不必再解释了；他便又斗然震怒，犯了宿疾。未想到她竟一时抑郁过甚，不待他气平，懊悔来解释，便离开昆明了！ 这次他再也不能固执了。这是一切学问修养在进益时必经之隐痛，又愉快之阶段。他认为宁可冒险改掉以往偏见，不可长此坚持，执扭下去。又值乔倩垠在他不防备时用了极同情，极柔软的词句不顾她女友愿意与否说了多少往事，一下刺进了他的弱点。他的心竟似比这柔情更柔。要不然怎么竟会令自己如此激动，令他如钢铁坚硬的心灵忽然变成六月底河边才退了壳的横行小螃蟹似的那么畏缩，害怕，单薄，无助哟！ 谁个男子在闻到心上爱慕的人也正爱慕他的消息时能不如遭狙击而摇摇欲倒哟！他岂能不忽地觉得此心有主而快乐欲狂！他岂能再说：“我未恋爱！”以保护那畏惧失恋的心！他岂能不觉得感激，又恐惧所闻或许不真！他岂能忍住不双膝跪倒，用最谦卑可怜的语气说他最不敢说的话！他的自卑心理爽然若失了，他可以不必再用假尊严来维持自己可悯的地位了。她不是也跪下了么，不是如臣仆，如婢妾，如小虫豸把她身心全当真地献给了他来替了他的假尊荣么！这种恩典，在一颗高贵的男子心上，有什么更能胜过！ 那女孩儿私心珍藏的情意，紧闭在闺阁中决不容浅露的恋情，那只有花草，明镜、猫儿及知心女伴可得或闻的秘密，岂不百倍高贵于一个男人的！她们那些是多么纤细、清丽，和缠绵哟！这宇宙间最要受神灵呵护的珍宝，不是也泻在他跪着的这一片地上，而不吝惜地奉献给他了么！ 蔺燕梅走后的这十三天当中，余孟勤如大病濒危，以后又如忽遇针砭，而药方太猛，几乎虚脱，再如昏迷复醒，最后如病痊下床，扶杖试步，虽不能行，“心向往之。”慢慢地他觉得逐渐痊可了。身在床上，心已出外登临纵目，快何如之！他的变化时时在前进，无法诉之笔墨。他不知道起首了多少次情书要给蔺燕梅，皆不待写完，心情又进一步了。 今天他见了小童，知道蔺燕梅回来了，却害羞起来，不敢多问。他一边剪贴新书落下的那句话，心上更不知有了多少呜咽，呢喃的好句子不可遗落了似的。他盼望小童自动说出些呈贡风光，小童竟未道及一字。而一直被圈在屋中的话题里，直到中午。 剪贴完了，金先生本来打算留他们大家午饭，可是余孟勤再也忍不住要去找蔺燕梅了，他于是提议他们几个男同学出去吃，由他再请客，单把冯新衔留下。等吃完饭再回来分派书，准备往各书店送，另外也帮忙包裹，题签，备冯新衔邮寄送人。他为什么不能把蔺燕梅也找来参加这个快乐的集会？有了蔺燕梅在场他便不怕同学们揶揄他，虽说女孩子们作了太太，或是将作太太，开起玩笑来有时比男人还要不堪，但是蔺燕梅如果在这里，至少可以令太显著的词句出不了口。即使大家向他俩进攻，他也高兴，因为他的心意到底是件陌生的事，不比说惯了情人的话那样容易出口，他简直需要别人在一边敲打。 他觉得他可以如此做，因为从乔倩垠那里，他已得到保证，蔺燕梅是死心塌地地爱了他。他此举不会唐突了她。这冯新衔与沈葭的喜讯所造成的空气，必会给蔺燕梅一个娇羞的联想，也必将助他轻易成事，如沈蒹的婚礼帮助了冯新衔一样。 他想着更高兴了。他觉得他虽说才往情爱方面想了不足两个星期。但是过去一年的光阴也可算是用在铺砌到她心上之路的工程上的。 他的心境比一个女孩子的更羞涩不安。他害怕抽丝，剥蕉似的受时间与恋情的蹂躏，他希望一下子便忏悔了，表达了、求恕了。然后马上就求恕了，定规了。他全不想事实上哪里有这么简单的感情变化？他自己也是迷惘了。 他提出几个人出去吃饭的话，金先生的小家庭要招呼他们吃饭也是困难，好在都是熟人，就由他们去。沈蒹笑着说： “要走快走罢。桌子留给我们收拾好了。” 他们四个笑了笑便出来了，小童顺手把书带走想到饭铺去快点看完。大宴推他一把，他俩便走在前头。大余同朱石樵在后面。走到圆通街，随便进了一家小炒饭铺，本地馆子。大余点菜，小童便坐下来接着再看书。一直到菜上了桌子，大余还没有想好如何开口问蔺燕梅，小童书快看完了。 这也真怪有趣的，全是作贼心虚，也不知道是害的哪一门子的怕。小童今天才从呈贡回来，当然可以闲闲问起此行情况。他偏要挑一句特别得体的话开始，先问那边的收容所罢？早上已知道将结束了，并且离题也太远。问问范宽湖同梁崇槐的事罢，又太不像自己说话的作风了。他全不记得方才自己想简捷取之之打算。 小童看见菜上桌了，着急把书成篇翻过，伸了个腰，抬起头来向桌子上张了一张，抓过碗筷，纸片来，两眼仍看着书上最后一页，手中擦净吃饭家伙上的水，便把书一卷放进口袋，一下碰到了牙刷，想起早上脸也未洗，却不敢张声，眉头一蹙，抢忙吃饭。 猛不防大余猝然问道：“蔺燕梅现在在哪里？”谁也不知道这一个问题之前会有几许踯躅，倒都吃了一惊。大余倒如释重负，脸上堆笑。小童先吓了一跳，几乎一口咬下碗边来，他托了下巴，抬起头来，看了大余是笑着问的，弄得莫明其妙。他说：“在平政街天主堂里。” 这回答把大宴、朱石樵更闹得糊涂了。 让大余说一句柔和声口的话那是比什么都难，他说：“她在那儿干什么？” 小童说：“她的阿姨是位女修道士，她去找她去了。” 大宴说：“平政街就在这儿，这怎么倒从来没有说过？” 小童两眼看了桌上，不敢抬头，说：“她这次去呈贡时在车上才碰见的，是多少年没见过的。” “那么她阿姨也去呈贡有事？”大余说：“她去呈贡乘的是晚车，修女也在晚上出门？” “她本来是在宜良天主堂的。”小童说：“这个你们不知道，我也是到了呈贡才知道，才知道她是在那儿办学校。” “那么蔺燕梅怎么不到宜良去找她，会到平政街去？她阿姨也是两头儿跑？” 小童并未想瞒，但是不知如何说才好，只有拖延，偏偏他又一向没有这本事。他说：“我们昨天是去宜良找的，谁知道当初光知道人家在那儿办学校，没想到又调上昆明了。” “你们昨天去的，那么是今天早车从宜良回来了？”大余说。 “是早车。” “早车五点钟开。你们住在天主堂？”大余问：“你们几个人？”这话再接着问下去，就要到了不容易回答的地方了。小童便决定争取主动。