Chapter 25 Bian Yue said: I no longer believe in men (1)

Bian Lang was sentenced, and his life has come to an end, and the pattern has been set.This result makes parents lament.In their view, no matter how superficially changes in social life and their personal lives, no matter how much society develops, they cannot shake their most fundamental and essential requirements and hopes, and enter into tradition.Tradition is the mainstream, and the tradition they hope for is the ultimate ideal of their family life, to make the whole family happy.When they live together with their children, they need to be complete; when their children have a family, their home should also be complete; following the steps, they must be complete. Consummation is the ultimate goal of living and living.Now, his son, Bian Lang, has withdrawn from Consummation, no matter how much he sighs, it will be irreversible.There is one less consummation, and I hope that the next child will be consummated, and the hope is given to Bian Yue and Bian Qiao.

Bian Yue is sensible, so she applied for the Normal University because of her family's financial situation.Normal University exempts tuition and miscellaneous fees, and offers preferential conditions such as higher living allowances than other colleges, all of which are temptations for Bian Yue. She feels sorry for her parents’ hard work in raising their three children, and wants to repay them. She thinks, parents She is already very content to be able to support her to go to college, and she should be thinking about her parents.Compared with her elder brother in this aspect, it shows her girl's carefulness, softness and calculation.She felt that she was honoring her parents by saving money for her parents, and she felt a little proud in her heart.In fact, with her introverted personality and not good at expressing, she is not suitable for going to a normal school.Normal universities train students mainly to be teachers in the future, and Bian Yue is not suitable to be a teacher.She has no eloquence and is not good at words; she is reserved and shy, like a mother, and she can't stand up.Without face, how can he discipline students in the future?Bian Yue didn't think about these things before filling out the application form.She only thinks about how to save money for her parents and make the contribution she can.Parents have no experience in this area and know nothing about it, thinking that they can achieve anything by learning.She applied to Normal University, so she was asked to apply.

The normal universities that train teachers do have their special training methods.The students in the school have trial lectures, which are specially trained to train students to give lectures on stage.It teaches what kind of behavior, language, posture and teaching skills to maintain as a teacher on the stage. This is not just a lecture, but a combination of learning and practice. There is also a simulation drill. Every student must "go on stage" Performance.At that time, Bian Yue was very nervous, before it was her turn to play, her palms were already hot and she was about to sweat.When she got to the "podium", she stood there with weak legs, and she really wanted to fall headfirst, so that all the people present could not see her; her voice was weak and trembling, and she called her classmate teacher We are struggling to hear and numb; she often speaks intermittently and stutters, and a sentence is divided into two halves or even several halves, which distorts the original meaning of the words; The slightly bulging cheeks enlarged the degree of display, drawing people's attention to her face unconsciously.Her clumsy performance, every time is a replica of the previous one, and there is no improvement due to increased exercise.Therefore, she always failed to pass the test results.After graduating, she was not assigned to be a teacher in the school. She was in the history department, so she was assigned to the museum.

Compared with her elder brother Bian Lang who was active and outstanding in school, Bian Yue was almost unknown in the four years of college. She was very ordinary in all aspects: study, appearance, and personality.Unlike her elder brother Bian Hong, she has goals for the future, studies hard and behaves positively.Bian Yue's expectation for the future is that graduating from university will be great, and there is no need to work hard to get anything else.Therefore, the motivation to study is not as good as that in middle school. Middle school is driven by the goal of being admitted to university, and if you don't study hard, you will be eliminated.Her appearance is plain, the girl has a father-like face, neither vivid nor beautiful, no one is surprised, amazed or focused on her appearance, her expression is ordinary and stable.Her reserved and shy personality has created her passion and enthusiasm for nothing too much, and she doesn't make a fuss about anything and what's wrong.If it was when the students were cheering, she just pursed her lips and smiled, disapproving; no matter how delicious the food she ate, she would just nod indifferently, and would not yell "delicious" like some students, with a look of disapproval. Then it became exaggerated.

She looks at everything indifferently like this, and if she can't be motivated, her relationship with her classmates will also be indifferent.She doesn't get close to her classmates, and her classmates don't get close to her. She has no conflicts or estrangements with each of her classmates, and she has never conflicted with anyone. She maintains an indifferent relationship with them, both men and women.She is not lively, and no classmates appreciate and pay attention to her. In the group, her superficial form looks independent, but in her heart she has no attitude of rejection. She just follows her classmates, acting like a well-behaved person, so she won't offend people.She only had a close relationship with one girl. They were in the same dormitory, and their temperaments were congenial, so they often lived next to each other.The two of them are together, as if they are one person. They have the same temperament, they are not talkative, and their expressions are reserved. Their approach to each other is due to their same indifferent temperament.

Like his elder brother Bian Hong, Bian Yue never had a boyfriend during his three years in college, but the reason for not having a boyfriend was completely different from his elder brother. The elder brother had thought about it before entering the university, and made his own plan of "not talking". , Later, he also had a high vision and didn't take a fancy to it.Bian Yue is different. She never thought about this kind of problem before entering university. When she entered university, she saw the scene of "love". .Let her live her life as she wants, let's go step by step, anyway, she is still young, so there is no need to worry.She doesn't think about the issue of "love", so naturally her mind is not on it. Seeing that all the boys are pure in heart, just like in middle school, they don't have any wonderful illusions.She didn't want to, and naturally she didn't expect any boy to shoot Cupid's arrow at her, nor did she imagine it.Her plainness in all aspects, as well as her indifferent posture, did not arouse any boy's feelings for her.In this way, three years have passed.In three years, more than half of the girls at the same level and the same department had boyfriends unknowingly.There are countless boyfriends, and there are only a handful of girls without boyfriends.At this time, she was touched again. Although she didn't really yearn for it in her heart, she was independent, but she felt that she was standing on the trial stage, unable to save face.Embarrassed.

Not long after the first half of the fourth grade started, a boy started to pursue Bian Yue.This is closely related to the fame of her cousin Bian Yinhe.Before Bian Yinhe became famous, some classmates knew that Bian Yue had a cousin who was an actress.Bian Yue herself never explained that it was her good classmate who accompanied her to the drama troupe to look for Bian Yinhe once.After seeing Bian Yinxuan, that classmate was a little surprised by Bian Yinxuan's beauty and the gap with Bian Yue, so he mentioned it to other classmates in private.Professional actors are a bit new to the students, and Bian Yinhe is said to be very beautiful by that classmate, sometimes it becomes a topic, and once it is passed on, the whole class knows it.Bian Yue was indifferent on the surface and in his heart. The cousin and she belonged to the same family, and they were seen often. The cousin had never felt anything new about her, and she was never new to the cousin.Her naturally indifferent temperament, novelty and novelty will not be too exciting to her, let alone be affected by it.After Bian Yinhe became famous, the students discussed it in an uproar, and spread the word very much. The whole department knew that Bian Yinhe was Bian Yue's cousin, and Bian Yue was widely known.Just like that, a boy from the same grade as Bian Yue, who was in a different class, came to Bian Yue's side admiringly, and took the initiative to associate with Bian Yue.The boy is well-grown, fair-skinned, and tall.The boy claimed that he was a movie fan, and he liked the movies starring Bian Yinxuan and Bian Yinxuan very much. He said that Bian Yue was Bian Yinxuan's cousin, so he had a special feeling for Bian Yue.Bian Yue thought that he had taken a fancy to her and came to pursue her, so she was overjoyed, thinking that she was about to join the ranks of girls with boyfriends.

Boys ask Bian Yue out every three to five times, like talking about friends, they take a walk, chat, sometimes, like a boyfriend, he buys Bian Yue snacks.After a few times, the boy suggested that, as a movie fan, he wanted to see Bian Yinxi with his own eyes.Bian Yue agreed without hesitation.After meeting Bian Yinxuan, the boy got Bian Yinxuan's autographed photo as he wished.Finally, he asked for the phone number of Bian Yinxie's troupe.One day half a month later, Bian Yinhe called Bian Yue and asked Bian Yue in a questioning tone if that boy was her boyfriend.Bian Yue was a little embarrassed and said it was almost there.She was not sure, because she thought the boy hadn't formally expressed anything to her.Bian Yinxie angrily said something that shocked Bian Yue, saying that the boy called her and asked her to introduce him to an actor girlfriend.She complained about who Bian Yue was looking for.Bian Yue was speechless in shock.Afterwards, she approached the boy seriously and questioned him. The boy looked indifferent and asked her with a smile, saying: We are nothing, you have no right to control me.Bian Yue was angry, but couldn't explain why, so she threw out angry words like a child, and said: You have a good idea to find an actor, so my sister won't introduce it to you.After finishing speaking, he turned and left, with the attitude of a winner.Unexpectedly, the boy said back in the back: "You look like that, who will look for you!"Bian Yue stopped and turned to look at the boy, just like her mother's temperament, she wanted to be strong but couldn't show it.The boy rolled his eyes and left.Bian Yue's eyes were filled with tears.

It was from this time that Bian Yue began to pay attention to her appearance.Before, she never seemed to pay attention to her appearance.what does she look likeClose your eyes and think about it, the image is blurred.She can clearly visualize the appearance of her parents, elder brother, younger brother, beautiful cousin Bian Yinhe, many members of the family and individual classmates.Not only the appearance, but also the manners and habitual movements of many people, she can connect with the appearance.She is careful, why didn't she pay attention to her appearance?She stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself carefully.What stood out most on her face were the two bulging cheeks, always looking angry.This is a typical mark, handed down from grandpa.However, it grows on the face of the man in the family, looks normal and natural, and even increases the strength of the man.But it grows on a woman's face, which is rigid, dull, blunt, rough, and somewhat rustic, without any desirable taste.Then, there are her eyes, eyes with single eyelids, indifferent and numb, without harmony and kindness, how inconsistent with her heart; her nose, not collapsed but not high, the appearance of common duty and tradition; Her lips are thin and small, and they look flexible, but they are clumsy and tongue-tied. In addition, they don't match her generous face; there is also skin, a girl's, the color of the skin doesn't match her mother's White, is a typical yellow skin, which adds gloom to the inanimate facial features; her forehead is the only place she can make sense of, it is wide, and looks like she has an IQ, just like this, no matter what hairstyle she wears in the future, the forehead Don't put up the hair curtain, always show the bright forehead, make up for the poor.

It's just that her forehead can't make up for her loss. Looking at her figure, she's less than 1.6 meters tall, and she's on the fat side. This is inherited from her mother, but not entirely.She didn't have the mother's broad frame of bone, which would hold the flesh up and make it compact.Her bone frame is not as small and narrow as anyone else's, and the bones can't support the flesh, so the flesh looks weak and redundant, as if it is about to collapse; no matter what, she is like her mother again, she loves to grow flesh, and the body is thin The flesh is pinched into a thick layer; in the mirror, her waist has no waist, her neck is shrunk, and her neck cannot be seen; her thighs have stretched the straight trouser line in the middle without the slightest mark; her protruding breasts and buttocks , so that people can only think of volume, not sexiness, let alone beauty.Thinking of the slim figure of his cousin Bian Yinhe, he had no figure in comparison.After such a careful observation, she suddenly felt a sense of sadness, thinking that she was unfortunate enough, she didn't inherit the good things, and let her inherit the bad things.

After "getting to know" herself well and having a position on herself, Bian Yue was indifferent to the past, and suddenly felt a strong sense of inferiority—something she had never experienced before.Moreover, since then, it has penetrated into her heart, and from time to time, it will surface and affect her thoughts. With a new mentality, Bian Yue went to work.The museum is as quiet as a paradise, and Bian Yue is very satisfied with being assigned to work here.There are few people here, few things to do, no pressure, nothing to compete with.This is a local museum, and there are no rare treasures in the museum. If there is no special exhibition, there are very few people who visit the museum every day relying on the ordinary cultural relics and objects in the museum's own collection.Most of the people who came here came to visit because of the needs of study and work, and they spread out in twos and threes.Usually, the inside and outside of the museum are quiet and quiet, there is no grandiose business circulation, no vigorous production environment, no busy working atmosphere, the appearance is depressed, and the interior is calm; the gray old building stands tall in the city , just like its own functional nature, it is only exhibited by others, and it seems to be pampered in a leisurely way.Staying in such a unit, Bian Yue meets and sees only a small number of people, and the living area is also narrow.She is closed here, emotionally ignoring the outside world, temporarily indifferent to her "inferiority" feeling, often self-satisfied.Don't think about the future, just look at the present. She didn't want to, someone else thought about it for her.Day by day, each day repeats the work and life of the previous day, and the cycle continues. In a blink of an eye, Bian Yue has become a full-time employee and entered the establishment of official cadres.She was twenty-three at the time.She was worried about not having a partner, but she was helpless.There are few staff members in the museum, and there are few opportunities to interact with the outside world. The unit does not provide many opportunities for Bian Yue to meet new people. Among the "old people", most of the men had their lives foregone when she came in, those who had families had families, and those who had girlfriends had girlfriends.There are only two male singles, and she is not so lucky to have some mutual interest with any of them. Everyone is only suitable to be a serious colleague.Going to work means entering maturity and adulthood, and it's time to stabilize.Stability has two levels, work and personal life.Personal life is not personal, it is to rise to a family.This is a forever tradition.Bian Yue thinks that she is still single because her life is unstable.She thought about it in her heart, and she was not in a hurry. Fortunately, she was old enough to wait.After waiting, it was all the care others gave her.Among them, there are colleagues in the unit, family members, family members, and neighbors.One after another, they enthusiastically looked for and provided opportunities for her.Often, Bian Yue is busy on Saturdays and Sundays, when she should be resting; she is busy meeting people who are introduced to her. At first, Bian Yue was in high spirits. Before meeting one, her heart was full of imagination and hope.Seeing her happy, she naturally had expectations for the other party; dissatisfied, she did not disappoint, she chose to take the initiative to increase her self-confidence, and felt that there was room for it.This leeway is a kind of inner preparation to prevent emergencies. When it comes to this kind of thing, her initial lack of self-confidence naturally emerges, and the unsatisfactory man gives her confidence. She thinks about those What she missed at a glance actually gave her a chance to grasp and turn around, as long as she was willing.Those males are extra backups and keep her grounded.However, getting in touch is not as simple as she thought, unsatisfactory will follow one after another.In the past year, she was satisfied with the first meeting, and they didn't give her the opportunity to meet the second meeting; she was not satisfied, she wanted to give others a chance, but they didn't care, many of them refused, and they were actually dissatisfied with her. satisfy.Individuals had a second meeting, and then answered "inappropriate".There is no result of coming and going, and she has the final say on none of them.The reason is only in two aspects, her appearance and character.Some people care about one, some people care about both.In this way, her inferiority complex was added layer by layer, and she felt ashamed. When everyone introduced her, the first consideration was to match her culture. In fact, it was a match for her diploma, but those who matched her were not good enough. Naturally, everyone lowered the standard, and some college graduates or technical secondary school graduates were included.This did have some effect. Those men showed humility towards Bian Yue who was "higher" than them. It seemed to be aimed at culture or diploma, but it seemed to be aimed at Bian Yue's whole person.If you have a good impression, you can keep in touch.After getting in touch, there is room for Bian Yue again.One person is locked up by coming and going. This person graduated from a self-study administration major and worked as an officer of the Youth League Committee in his unit.The appearance of others is average in all aspects, there is no outstanding or special place, probably because he is doing organizational work, he can speak quite well, and when he is with Bian Yue, Bian Yue does not speak, but he can speak, and the scene is not cold.It may also be because they are doing organizational work, are good at taking care of people's emotions, grasp people's psychology, and are hospitable and enthusiastic to people. Every time they meet, they have to buy snacks and drinks for Bian Yue, so that Bian Yue has something on hand. Take it, looking relaxed and casual.Among the group of people he met, he was the one who impressed Bian Yue the most.She was worried that she was intentional and others were unintentional. She was nervous by such rules.The result was beyond her expectation, this man asked her out for the second, third, and fourth time.On the fifth time, I said to Bian Yue: We are friends now.This sentence moved Bian Yue for a long time, and he would think of it from time to time, and the aftertaste was intoxicating.When we meet again later, I am full of joy and pride, because I really have a boyfriend.However, when this person met in the future, the first thing he said to Bian Yue was that he came to say goodbye to her and they were not suitable.Bian Yue was stunned for a while, and then asked tremblingly why?The man pondered for a moment, and said frankly that he had met someone who was more suitable.Bian Yue was dumbfounded, not knowing what to say.Afterwards, the introducer told Bian Yue that the person he met was also introduced to him by someone else. He said that the person was pretty, and he fell in love with the person at first sight, and the woman didn't dislike him, so the two fell in love. .Bian Yue said with a sullen face that he was stepping on two boats like that and had no morals.The introducer comforted her and said: In this case, he is not desirable, and it is a good thing to see clearly early.Bian Yue nodded, but felt a big blow in her heart. After this time, Bian Yue decided not to think about her boyfriend any more, and she no longer had confidence in this aspect.What will happen in the future, what will happen to love, casually, it is anger, and it is also a feeling of despair; it is a mixed mood of bewilderment and numbness.With a refusal attitude, her self-abased mentality has a conceited posture. This posture is pulled out by force, and it has a somewhat unreasonable taste. If people say it, it is a kind of eccentricity.If someone asked her about introducing someone, she didn't even ask, and just hung her face and said no.If the introducer is enthusiastic and continues to talk about the advantages of the man in all aspects, and wants to impress her, she will have a rebellious mentality. No matter whether the introducer is a man or a woman, young or old, or her own family, relatives and friends, she will throw a sarcasm : Well, I leave it to you!In one sentence, people's mouths were blocked.If she continues to persuade with patience, she will say "I will never see you again".Others really lose their temper.She is over twenty-six years old, no matter what, her parents are worried about her personal problems.Naturally, she can't obey her whatever she wants, but she can't force her, for fear that she will rebel and go to extremes, and her temper will become even weirder. At this time, his father, Bian Jinli, was busy preparing to build his own construction company. He was rarely home, and Guan Bianyue couldn’t take care of him. When he had time, he would ask and talk about it. Heart.What happened to Bian Yue was all her mother's concern.She couldn't talk about Bian Yue, so she came up with a way. As long as she heard that the conditions of the man she introduced were acceptable, she would make her own decision and ask the introducer to bring her home directly. She would surprise her daughter and ask her to face it directly. Son, whichever one you like, you will naturally accept it.With this move, Bian Yue immediately had a countermeasure. Not only did he show no attitude towards the visitor, he turned around and entered his room, locked the door behind him, and would not open it again.Mother thought she was very angry inside, and she was afraid of fueling her fire and embarrassing the visitor, so she had to send the visitor away.In fact, in Bian Yue's heart at that time, she was a little proud and happy, thinking that this time it was her turn to be proud, and she began to appreciate the self-confidence in that moment.This way of getting rid of it is an addiction, and there is always no hesitation. After a few times, my mother gave up this "forced" method.If someone from the unit introduced her directly, it would be easier for her to evade.In this way, the introducers who have dealt with experienced "failure", and naturally lost their enthusiasm; for a long time, there have been many failures, and the number of introducers has become less and less.There were few people to introduce, Bian Yue was stubborn again, coupled with the fact that she had few classmates and friends and the closed nature of her work, she had no chance to escape from the environment.The days passed quickly, and as I saw, she was approaching thirty.Not having a partner, not wanting to make friends, except at work, Bian Yue's personality is becoming more and more difficult to get along with others, and she has developed into a withdrawn personality.My mother was so anxious that she asked someone to match her when she saw anyone. At this time, Bian Yue is no longer the indifferent and quiet character of the school days. She still doesn't like to talk, but is domineering and a little irritable. She doesn't like to talk, and doesn't like to listen to others. People are different, and they love to be rebellious.The more lonely the more self, vicious circle.Her loneliness and restlessness in her temperament made her "fire-powered", and a patch of pimples appeared on her originally smooth forehead, like a rash, and she became even more irritable.Colleagues in the unit joked behind the back and in front of him that it was the result of an imbalance of yin and yang.She had heard this a lot, and she didn't care on the surface, but she was even more disappointed and depressed in her heart. She was a little desperate about her situation.She longed for a change, but felt that there was nothing she could do.In addition to her mother, her elder brother Bian Hong also worried about her.In the past, Bian Lang used his eyes to classify standards, and accepted those whose hardware was only better than Bian Yue's, not worse than hers. He used the many people he knew at work to introduce her to her from time to time. As a result, when they met Bian Yue, No one was willing to talk about it.Now, Bian Yue's age has no advantage, and Bian Lang is very realistic to choose from people who are lower than Bian Yue's qualifications.He cast his net with another starting point, and immediately there were several candidates.Bian Lang is confident that he knows his sister well and who is suitable for her.He chose a man named Fang Hongjun. Fang Hongjun is the younger brother of one of Bian Hong's clients. He works in a printing factory and has a technical secondary school education. He was born in the same year as Bian Yue, two months older than Bian Yue.It is said that a year ago, he was betrayed by his girlfriend, so he did not find another partner.Fang Hongjun is of medium height, thin body, long face, dark skin, medium eyes, straight nose, and a standard appearance overall.His lips were thick, and it looked like he couldn't speak, but he couldn't speak in the first place.Bian Lang told his sister that this person is very honest, with a gentle temper, neither snobbish nor vain, and treats people sincerely. If they can succeed, he will definitely treat Bian Yue well.In addition, he is not a mediocre person, but also strives for improvement. It is said that he is studying business management and law by himself.Bian Yue believed her brother's words and met Fang Hongjun.At first sight, the two people's temperaments are similar, and they can get along with each other in a word, and they both feel a kind of compatibility with each other, so they continued their relationship.In other respects, Fang Hongjun was like his brother said, Bian Yue accepted him more and more.Fang Hongjun also accepted Bian Yue very much.They are old and young, and after meeting six or seven times, they established their relationship.At this time, Bian Jinli, the father whose career was thriving, consciously told Fang Hongjun that as long as he treated Bian Yue well and they lived well, he would take care of their financial needs in the future. In other words, Fang Hongjun's family can just give a little "little head" symbolically, and the big head will be paid by their wife.On the day of the engagement, Bian Jinli repeated these words in front of Fang Hongjun's parents.Fang Hongjun has six brothers and no sisters. Fang Hongjun is the fourth eldest. Their sons line up to marry their wives. Every son’s marriage is a heavy burden for their parents. What Bian Jinli said naturally made Fang’s parents happy and happy. move.Being polite, he grinned and said to his son that he should treat Bian Yue well.Bian Yue felt that her future happiness seemed to be bought by her father after making peace.In the joy of my heart, I left a little regret. Contrary to Bian Lang, Bian Yue's wedding was entirely arranged by his parents.Everything was a scene of a marriage between a man and a woman, but Bian Yue's parents paid the bill. The banquet was held at the four-star Xihe Hotel, which was luxurious, not to say extravagant.The color TVs, refrigerators, stereos, furniture, leather sofas and other big items in the new house were also provided by their parents, and Fang Hongjun's house only took care of some odds and ends in a symbolic way.When he got to the front, seeing Fang Hongjun and his parents and family caring for him, Bian Yue did not have the original regret, but instead had a kind of pride. After the excitement ended, the night of the bridal chamber surprised and pained Bian Yue. Fang Hongjun no longer communicated with her at all. He had a strong desire for that kind of thing and was familiar with it, but she was purely ignorant, had no need, and did not taste the joy in coping with it. .Everything was done, but she was in pain.Fang Hongjun put his arms around her and said that he really didn't expect it was her first time.Bian Yue opened her mouth in surprise and said, aren't you?Fang Hongjun closed his eyes, shook his head, and said with a smile on the corner of his mouth: If he did the same, they would be stupid today.There was pride in his expression.Bian Yue wanted to say something, but couldn't say it. What she said was inappropriate, but she felt a faint nausea in her heart.In the days that followed, whenever something like that happened, she couldn't help thinking that Fang Hongjun was different and unequal from hers. Thinking of it, she would go into convulsions, and not only still had no desire, but also fear.At that time, she was like a child about to get an injection.The fear is the fear, but for the sake of their husband and wife, she has to deal with it.In this way, Fang Hongjun is actually in control of her.Fang Hongjun understood the physiological laws of women, so he didn't ask Bian Yue to get pregnant right away.He said he would ask for it after completing his self-study exams for business management and law.The child was born to their Fang family, he was not in a hurry, and Bian Yue and his parents had no reason to be in a hurry. Their small life is lived with the same rhythm, method, and purpose as other families. Everything is for life, family life.Bian Yue still has to deal with the married life at night, she thought, since this is one of the responsibilities of life, she must fulfill it.Although she didn't experience the fun in the middle, she thought that this was what she should do, just like a person who doesn't like her job but can't neglect her work.She also thought that people always say that men and women are different, and perhaps the biggest difference lies in this.Think about it, and feel that you must be feeling the same as other women. A year later, Fang Hongjun's two professional self-study exams were completed one after another, and he successfully obtained the graduation certificates of the two majors.He still didn't want a child, saying that he still had another plan, he wanted to be an individual, he wanted to ask Bian Yue's father to give him financial support, and he wanted to open a printing and packaging company.Bian Yue supported him, saying that if he wanted to start a company, she would resign and follow along. She was tired of staying in the museum, so Fang Hongjun readily said yes.They catered to each other like this, which made Bian Yue happy. He thought that starting a company together would be a new life, so he immediately told his father the idea, thinking that his father would fulfill his pre-marital promise and give generously financially.But my father said that starting a printing and packaging company was not a small investment. A lot of money in their company had not been recovered, and the capital turnover was tight. Let's talk about it in the past two years.With a plan in mind, they waited. In the days that followed, Fang Hongjun gradually made less demands on Bian Yue for sex.With less to deal with, Bian Yue felt better.It's just that occasionally she asked Fang Hongjun worriedly, does he not want a child?Fang Hongjun said that there was no rush, and it didn't matter if he wanted it or not. There were six brothers, and the Fang family's descendants were as many as they could be.Without children, their days are getting more and more peaceful.However, something happened later that made Bian Yue unable to calm down. That day was Tuesday, and Fang Hongjun took turns to rest and did not go to work.On the way to work by bus, Bian Yue felt dizzy and weak when she got off the bus. Occasionally she shivered and felt a little afraid of the cold.She thought she was going to catch a cold, but she didn't think so.After arriving at the unit for less than two hours, the symptoms of a cold appeared, including sneezing, runny nose, tears, and stuffy nose. After noon, I became dizzy.Seeing her distress, the leader told her to go home and rest.She went home.When she arrived at the door, knowing that Fang Hongjun was at home, she didn't knock on the door, and took out the key to open the door by herself.This is a habit she has developed for a long time. As long as she brings the key, she will use the key to open the door no matter whether there are people in the house or not. She does not want to trouble the people in the house.But this day she couldn't open the door, she knew it was locked inside.Without thinking too much, she knocked on the door.After knocking for a long time, Fang Hongjun came to open the door.Fang Hongjun asked her why she came back so early, looking a little nervous.Bian Yue said that she had a cold, but she still didn't pay much attention, changed her shoes, and went straight into the main room (also the hall).As soon as she entered the main room, she was shocked in front of her eyes, and she immediately lost the feeling of dizziness. She saw a thin and delicate girl sitting on the sofa. She looked like she was in her early twenties, with shawl and long hair. Damp as if just washed.Before Bian Yue could open his mouth, Fang Hongjun took the initiative to introduce the girl, saying that she was assigned by his colleague who graduated from printing school last year.The girl smiled uncomfortably.Bian Yue's face darkened, Fang Hongjun hurriedly explained that the girl came to return the book for him.Bian Yue thought to herself: Wouldn't it be possible to return books at work?She was unhappy, her face was gloomy, she turned around without saying anything, and went to look for medicine in the drawer of the combination cabinet.The discomfort in her heart was an instinctive jealous reaction, but she didn't think much about it.The girl took the opportunity to leave. But after going to the bathroom, she had to think deeply.The bathroom has a warm smell left over from a recent bath and the aroma of bath liquid and shampoo. It is obvious that someone just took a bath here; not only that, but she also saw a few strands scattered on the floor and on the comb. long hair.She straightened her long hair one by one, and her hair was more than a foot long. She had kept short hair for more than a year, and of course this hair was not hers.A girl inexplicably showers at a male colleague's house?Isn't this absurd?If the relationship was not extraordinary, how could it be so casual!Then think about Fang Hongjun's increasingly needy sex life for her, and everything becomes clearer.She is no longer numb and dizzy, and her mind is burning hot, she wants to investigate! Fang Hongjun didn't expect a "false foot" and was caught off guard by Bian Yue's questioning. The sophistry was instinctive, but the words didn't match up. In the end, he had to admit it.To say it was impulsive, is to make a mistake.Bian Yue didn't believe that he was acting on a whim at all. If he said what he said on the spur of the moment, no matter how it could be on the spur of the moment, they must have gotten better a long time ago.Fang Hongjun was noncommittal, and asked Bian Yue what he wanted as if he was not afraid of Bian Yue.Bian Yue said disappointedly, "No energy", and said for a moment: Divorce!Fang Hongjun spoke softly, saying that he would never do it again, isn't it okay?Then I asked her to forgive me sentence by sentence.Bian Yue fell silent.She used to care about Fang Hongjun's pre-marriage experience, and this matter made her even more bored; even if their marriage existed, she would not jump over it psychologically.She thought, how can I live on!But after all, it was a husband and wife, and my heart softened, and I thought: just let it go. However, Bian Yue will not be able to live with her life.Fang Hongjun's derailment always lingered in her mind, she wondered why he did this?Because he has desires, he has needs, she never refuses, she handles it all for him, what else is he dissatisfied with?Because he loves novelty and wants to be stimulated, so once he opens this kind of experience, it will not stop, and there will be problems in the future; also, if he loves her, he will not experience it.Thinking about it, she thought of her father and brother.Before she got married, in her opinion, the "derailment" of her father and brother meant that they belonged to the same category of people and had no relationship with other men. She didn't feel much about it, but she just hoped that she would not find such a man.She also thought that her father and elder brother cheated when they were qualified to cheat by virtue of their "strength", while the mother and sister-in-law relied on them, so they didn't care, but why did Fang Hongjun rely on it?他不但没有实力，还指望着父亲给他开公司，等于是他靠着她了，这样，只能说明了他根本就不爱她这个人。她为什么不叫人爱呢？她又联想起在大学“追求”过她的男生的本性，以及接触形形色色介绍来的“对象”的经历，她心里再起悲凉，他想男人除了喜欢刺激，都是喜欢漂亮女人的。想下去，爱情也是要在女方美貌的前提下才能得以实现的。摆在眼前的实例有：爷爷当年就是因为奶奶的好看，才不顾一切地买下了她；堂姐卞银薿也是因为美貌才被南洋冲破一切去爱上的。所以在中会有那样的名句流传：“假如上帝赐予了我美貌和金钱，我会叫你难以离开我，就像我难以离开你。”还有，江山和美人会比在一起，可想女人美丽多么重要。她不美丽，这辈子是难有爱情了。男人是不会把爱献给一个面貌平庸或丑陋的女人的。她是看透了！她想，她是婚姻生活的一个牺牲品，承担着牺牲的任务；她不为那样的男人牺牲，也不要承受虚伪！她决定离婚。 卞玥没有跟家里任何人商量，私下起草了离婚协议，她怕被父母所劝，想离婚后再公开。她叫方红军签字，方红军不想离也不会签，极力争取挽回。卞玥说她是离定了，给他半年的时间考虑，半年后他再不签，她就起诉。之后，两个人以矜持的状态就耗了起来。同住不同房。但是五个月后，卞烺被抓，家里人的情绪都转向了卞烺，卞玥不想为家里忙中添乱，就把离婚的事先搁下不提了。卞烺被判刑后，卞玥考虑到父母，有些不想离婚了，但几个月后，方红军主动提出了同意离婚。卞玥看透了他，知道他是靠不上父亲给他开公司了，自己对他没有可取之处了，他还留恋什么呢？她没犹豫地与他离了。 过后，卞玥对母亲说：我这辈子再不嫁人了，我已经不相信男人了。母亲说，她把人看得死了，其实男人不都是她想的那样。卞玥淡然地说反正她没碰上过，反问母亲，她碰到过吗？故意又问：父亲是吗？哥哥是吗？母亲愣了一会儿，说：生活的大方向是过日子，其他都是生活的作料，不是主要的。卞玥说：拾破烂的愿意跟我过，我就找个拾破烂的吧。母亲不高兴地说：啥话！卞玥说：跟个不爱自己的人，跟找个拾破烂的没有区别。母亲叹口气说：你没碰上，不等于就一辈子碰不上了。卞玥淡漠地说，她是不相信她能碰上了，她可能已经没有了那个命。母亲替女儿一阵心酸。 过后父亲为女儿感慨，他想自己找了那么多的女人，自己的女儿，却没有被一个男人爱过，命运有些作弄人了。