Chapter 22 about forgetting

My computer broke all of a sudden.Although it has only been half a year since I bought it, it has traveled to dozens of countries with me, and I have to bear the task of transmitting images and doing live broadcasts every day.My small and exquisite computer is actually very delicate, but I always either put it on the ground, or follow me around every day. Finally, all of a sudden, it couldn't take it anymore and died. I tried all the methods and read the reference manual, but I couldn't turn on the machine no matter what.It happened that our engineering staff was by my side. He volunteered to help me see it once, and then told me with a solemn expression that there was no way to save it.

For a few hours, I felt like I was dying.Sitting on the road outside the workers' gymnasium, I, who had always been polite in front of my colleagues, finally took advantage of the darkness and the sound of others cheering for the athletes in the stadium, and yelled several times, which annoyed my photographer Looking at me as if I didn't know each other. Called good friends to tell the bad news, hoping to get some comfort, everyone dismissed it at first, thought it was no big deal, until listen to me, I didn't backup all the files.Everyone immediately fell silent. One of them suggested I go to the manufacturer and see if I could salvage what was inside the hard drive.

When I got home from work, it was already two o'clock in the morning.I fell on the bed exhausted, but I was still thinking about how to treat this computer in my mind. If I use a recovery disc, my computer can be used immediately, but my hundreds of photos and my hundreds of thousands of words will disappear because of this. Sending it to the manufacturer would probably save the files for me, but all my self-installed programs would be gone, and most importantly, it would take days. Maybe I was too tired, I didn't want to think about it, I don't know where I got the courage, I climbed out of bed decisively, turned on the light, and found the recovery disk.An hour later, in front of me is a computer that can be said to be "brand new".

My wallpaper used to be a photo I took in England. It was all my memories of London and a person. There are also many photos taken in London during that time, which have since disappeared before my eyes. Looking at the computer, I suddenly discovered that I told myself to forget a lot of memories, but I always left some traces unwillingly, so when I saw them occasionally, I would open the memory box and found that I had never forgotten them. Now, these traces are gone, and this is really letting go. When I woke up the next day, the first thing I saw was that computer, a familiar but unfamiliar computer.I think this is my life, there is nothing wrong with erasing the past and starting over.

Those photos, those words, and those memories can be put in the past. That morning, I took a taxi and walked more than half of Beijing city. Looking at the scenery passing by outside the window, I made a decision that I couldn't make up my mind. Forget about someone and start over. Life is like this, if you can't learn to forget, those things will always make your own way a bit procrastinated. As a reporter, I am used to forgetting what I have done before. I think one of the great characteristics of being a reporter is to have a mentality of returning to zero.That way, you can concentrate on the next thing to do.

I meet a lot of people who like to ask me how I felt when I was on the battlefield. I always tell them very sorry that it has been a long time and I really don’t remember. I'm not being humble or putting on airs, but I really don't want to take the time to recall the feelings at that time.What remained in my mind were only fragments and facts, and even the time and place were a little blurred.I still remember an interview, when half a year had passed since the war, the director criticized me and said, why there was no emotion when I told about those days, I looked at him helplessly, how could there be emotion for forgotten things?

The memory space of human brain is limited. If I put all the past things there, I will feel that my brain is definitely not enough.And things from the past can sometimes become obstacles to the present.If until now, I am still immersed in the experience of that period of field interviews, I believe, I will definitely feel that everything I do every day is very boring and dull. Some people find it difficult to forget.I think, whether you can really forget, the key lies in your own determination.Sometimes it takes a process, thinking that I have forgotten it, but it still haunts my mind in the dead of night, but there will be a moment, just that moment, I don’t know when the moment will come, and I suddenly feel that my whole person has changed. lighter.That is to really let go.

Will not forget, will make my life more and more heavy.Such heaviness, I would rather keep it when I am old, or, in the deepest and deepest part of my memory, these things are still there. Imagine yourself, with white hair, facing the fallen leaves all over the ground, there is a person of the same age, telling each other things that were forgotten by themselves in the past.