Chapter 21 about being human

About being a man (1) Many student friends asked me to write a sentence for them, and the first thing that jumped into my mind was "be a person first, then do things".I don't know who said this sentence, but I really believe that a person can only do a good job if he is a good person first. When we were young, whether it was textbooks, movies we watched, or what adults told us, the world was black and white, and there were only two types of people, good or bad.I still remember when I was young, there was an old man who cleaned in the alley, wearing glasses, very thin, every time he passed by his side, his eyes behind the glasses always looked at you expressionlessly.Grandma said, be careful, this is a fourth-class member and a bad person.At that time, I didn't know what the four types of elements were, but his appearance really made me think that this is what bad guys should look like.Later, after many years, I finally understood the meaning of the four types of elements.It was a product of the Cultural Revolution. It is conceivable that if he is still alive now, he should have regained his original status. He is a decent person in society, and no one will call him a bad person anymore.

The world at that time was very simple, and people were always used to classifying people around them.Good guy, or bad guy.I still remember that when I was in junior high school, when I came home from school on weekends, I found that my cousin I always respected was actually listening to the songs of Hong Kong singers. The hooligans of the trumpet recorder listened to the song.Until now, my cousin still laughs at me. Do you remember how you criticized me with righteous indignation at that time? I said, of course I remember, and what I remember even more is that a few months later, as the secretary of the Youth League branch I actually took advantage of the class meeting every week and started to sell the songs of Taiwanese singers to the whole class. My cousin asked someone to bring them from Hong Kong.

Growing up slowly, I found that it is too difficult to classify. The world has become complicated, and so are people.Even I, if I follow the black and white approach, I don't know whether I should be classified as a good person or a bad person. Generally speaking, as long as you don’t intentionally hurt others, be honest, and have a kind heart, you are considered a good person. Although many people lament that being a good person is too tiring, I think that if you only need to do these things, it shouldn’t be difficult, so I won’t too tired This is a society that needs to express itself.I never believed that gold can shine, because there is too much gold in this society.Too many people are buried because they don't have the opportunity to let others see their abilities.This is a reality that everyone must accept.I never felt that I was better than others, but because I was able to express myself at the first opportunity, the opportunities came again and again.

I'm not against competition because I think competition is a good thing.With competition and comparison, you will be able to make continuous progress.However, if it is a vicious competition, if you deliberately sacrifice the interests of others to achieve the purpose of making yourself stand out, then I still cannot accept it. I think such a person has a problem with his moral character. Television is a competitive place.Many novels and TV dramas that use TV stations as the background always like to exaggerate the intrigue between the anchors.In real life, there may not be such drama, but things in real life are often even more illogical.But it just happened.Although I am also in the TV station, Phoenix has a small number of people after all, and there are many things that everyone can do, so compared with other local TV stations in Hong Kong, it is considered simple.I have heard a lot of things like this. In order to win opportunities, girls like to cry in front of the boss, so the boss softens his heart and is afraid of being annoying.So let her do what she wants.

I think that if this girl doesn't say bad things about others, but just uses crying to make her own demands, then it really doesn't matter. After all, this society needs to use some means to fight for its own rights.But if you use the method of crying to stab a colleague in the back in front of the boss, then this is vicious. Scheming and sophistication are not derogatory terms, but if they are used to set traps, frame others, and remove obstacles for oneself, then it is another matter. It is impossible for people to never hurt others.The only difference is whether it is intentional or unintentional.Sometimes, even with good intentions, hurting others is unavoidable.

It seems that those white lies, when these lies are exposed, the people who listen to them may be hurt more. I saw a movie about a boy in East Germany whose mother believed in socialism. One day, his mother fell into a coma and finally woke up. The doctor said that he must not be stimulated.But while the mother was in a coma, the Berlin Wall was pulled down, East and West Germany were unified, and the unwavering socialism his mother believed in disappeared.Worried that his mother would not be able to bear such a great change, the boy used all means to make his mother live in the old days.In the end, the mother died. In fact, before she died, she found out the truth, but she didn't tell the boy.She left forever with a lie to her son.Because the mother knew that her son would not be able to bear to know that all he had done was in vain.

A lie cannot begin, even if it is well-intentioned, because once it begins, one does not know how to end it.There will always be a day when I don't even remember this lie, and I expose myself. My daughter's English name is faith, which means loyalty.I hope she can be an honest person, because honest people don't have so many burdens and life will be easier. Too many people told me that this world is very dangerous, you must learn to protect yourself, don't trust others easily, there is no benefit in being too kind. It is right to protect yourself, but if you don't trust the world and the people around you in order to protect yourself, it is also very sad.Many times, I will feel a little sad because the people around me cheated on me, but after the sad, I don't let myself become cold because of these unpleasant times.I still believe that there are many beautiful things in this world, and most people will not intentionally hurt others.Because even if you are hurt, at most it is only heartache for a period of time, people still have to live, life still has to go on, if you have doubts about everything, you will miss many beautiful and happy things in life.

About being a man (2) People ask me what kind of person I want my child to be in the future.Besides being honest, I also want her to be independent. Only by learning to be independent can we treat ourselves well, communicate with others on an equal footing, and truly protect ourselves. I'm sort of an independent person.Family is one reason, ten years of school dormitory life has also cultivated the ability to live independently.An independent personality is after work, from one city to another. If you don't learn to be independent, it is difficult to survive until now. Everyone is busy, and it is yourself who can help you in the end.You can also rely on others, rely on a trustworthy person, but if you hand over yourself to others and lose your independence, what should you do when this person is gone?

Being independent doesn't mean that you don't need others. No matter how independent you are, you need to have friends and relatives to accompany you, but an independent person will not become a burden to others. When interacting with all people, you are equal in spirit. This society is really not perfect. When I was young, I would feel that as long as I cried, I could get what I wanted, or I could close my eyes and let myself pretend that I couldn’t see what was going on, and I felt that these things Never happened. In real life, not what you think can become reality, and what you pretend to not see, it still happens, and there is no way to avoid it.

Once you accept this, you will know that life often requires compromise. Some things, what I insist on are indeed reasonable, but in a certain situation, it just doesn’t work, or it just doesn’t get the support of the majority of people. At this time, a compromise is required. When I first entered social work, when my opinions were not accepted, I always felt aggrieved and misunderstood.Time and time again, some people become more and more cynical, feeling that the world is just unfair to them.But if you can compromise, you will find that there is not only one way. Other ways do have their own unique features and can also solve the problem. The speed of solution may be slower, but after all, it has begun.

Journalism is a profession that requires compromise.Every reporter has this kind of experience. Sometimes the manuscripts written by editors will be changed beyond recognition.Arguing with reason, the face was flushed, and no one could convince anyone.But this system is like this. The editor has the final decision-making power. In the end, he can only make concessions and learn to understand the reasons why the editor revises the manuscript. But compromise does not mean that there is no principle, and principle is something that must be adhered to.I can accept that my editors revise my manuscript according to their point of view, if it is just a matter of some individual words or cutting angles, but my principle is that I will not deliberately say A into B for some reason, this Sometimes, if I can't persist, I will give up instead of compromise. These days, I always lament one thing, that is why young people nowadays cannot always learn to stand on the other side's standpoint and consider issues.Many people always take it for granted, and will not reflect on themselves when they make a mistake, but instead blame the other party for not cooperating with them. Maybe it's because life is too smooth, there are no setbacks, and there is no pressure to survive, so I feel that this world exists for myself.It doesn't matter what other people think. It's just that such a person will soon encounter criticism and setbacks from others in society. If they are not strong enough, they will complain all day long about why life treats them like this. Many people don't know how to respect others.I have seen too many examples. When some people go to a restaurant to eat, they habitually shout at the waiters, as if those people were born to serve themselves, and they never express their gratitude to others for their services.It's really hard for me to eat with such a person, because I feel very ashamed, and I always have to look at the waiters with guilt, hoping that my thank you can make up for it. It's just that this society seems to have gotten used to this, and being treated impolitely by others too many times has become a matter of course and nothing to feel. Take a taxi and get off at the entrance of a five-star hotel. The doorman of the hotel asks the driver to hurry up. I can't stand it and ask the doorman not to speak in such a tone.As a result, the driver and the doorman looked at me with the same incomprehensible eyes, letting me understand that the actions just now were meaningless.The abnormal person turned out to be myself. What kind of person you want to be, the social environment is very important. Go to some tourist places in Shenzhen and bring the children.As a result, people everywhere are scrambling to be the first. When queuing, they can't wait to put their body on the person in front. They never apologize for bumping into others, because they didn't realize that they bumped into others, and they were completely immersed in their own world.My daughter's eyes widened, she couldn't understand, and she was a little scared, but I was worried, if adults are like this in front of children, what will happen to our children when they grow up? A friend of mine said that it seems that in the countryside, spitting on the ground becomes very natural, because everyone is like this, otherwise, people looking for trash cans everywhere will become a different kind.Unknowingly, I have become like others. In fact, true respect for others cannot be expressed by a thank you or an sorry.True respect for others is based on one's own respect for a person, which comes from the heart.This requires a person to have good self-cultivation and experience in life, so that he can truly believe that all people are born equal, and respecting others is respecting oneself.