Chapter 16 15

"You don't have to do this, I'm just talking like that--, when a person dies, his eyes don't close--it's all the same--" "You don't want to see me?" "Why don't you want to? Think about it every day, all the time, and your heart grows out of your mind. But I -----" Like him, she took off one by one under the quilt, threw it on top of the quilt, and then grabbed his hand and placed it on her chest: "You too---see with your hands---" He took his hand away from her chest as if being burned by fire: "Don't, don't do this, I---I'm afraid I will----can't help---"

"Can't resist what?" "I can't help it---I want to do with you---something that couples can do---" "Then do it—" He shook his head: "If you---will---marry in the future, if you want to marry someone, I'd better---leave you---completely to your---husband." She said firmly: "I will not marry anyone else, I will only marry you. You go, I will go with you ---, what you want to do, do it ---, otherwise --- --You will die without purpose--and so will I--" He thought for a while, put one arm around her, and slowly "looked" at her with the other.She felt as if she had been shocked by an electric shock. Wherever he touched her, there was a numbness, even her scalp was numb.He squeezed her two breasts in between with one hand, trying to hold them, but he couldn't hold them.He squeezed her body weakly, and something seemed to flow out from underneath, and she said in a panic: "Wait, it seems--my old friend--here--don't mess up the sheets-- --"

He jumped up, with no clothes on, so he helped her find toilet paper, found it, brought it to her, and said, "If it's not enough, I'll go buy it as soon as the store opens tomorrow." She looked at the sheets, but she didn't see any redness, she grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wiped herself, but she didn't see any redness, just something like water.She said apologetically, "I made a mistake, I just came here last week." She didn't hear his answer. When she looked up, she saw him standing there naked, staring at her naked body. She saw all of him, and she thought he must have seen all of her. Quilt, trembling all over.

He followed in, put his arms around her, and said out of breath: "You are so beautiful and well-developed, you lie there reclining like those goddesses in Greek mythology. Why don't you like- --It's big here? This --- the tall one is ---beautiful." He hugged her tightly and murmured, "I really want to take you flying--" "Then take me to fly--" He sighed softly and leaned over her carefully. . . 43 When Jingqiu returned to the farm, it was already the evening of the second day.The third child kept sending her up the mountain, and when they could see the L-shaped house on the farm, the two reluctantly parted.

The third child said that he was still waiting for a diagnosis from the hospital, and told her to go back to work on the farm first, otherwise he would be angry.She was afraid that he would cut off his hands if he got angry, so she had to go back to work on the farm.They made an appointment to meet at the county hospital when she was resting two weeks later. Even though he had already been discharged from the hospital at that time, he would still wait for her in Nurse Gao's dormitory.He promised her that if it was really leukemia, he would write to her immediately and tell her that she would be safe without a letter.

On the night when Jingqiu returned to the farm, she went to talk to Director Zheng so that he would not return her letter again.She said insinuatingly: "I have a friend in Yanjiahe Middle School. She said that she wrote several letters to the farm, using the address of 'Bazhong Farm, K City, Fujiachong Brigade, Yanjiahe Commune, K County'. But they were all returned at the original address. What do you think will happen? Is the address wrong? " "The address is correct," Director Zheng seemed puzzled, "Who will return the letter?" She thought, pretending to be pretty, and then asked: "Who sent the letters from the farm?"

"The letter is only sent to the brigade. Usually, my father brings the letter back when he goes to the brigade. When I go home, I take it up the mountain. My father knows the names of several people on the farm, and he will never return your letter. Go back." Director Zheng asked, "Are you suspecting that I returned your letter? I can use my party membership as a guarantee that I will never return your letter." When Director Zheng said this, she couldn't say anything more. I believe that Director Zheng would not dare to return her letter anymore. Jingqiu is busy cooking for the students during the day, and sometimes goes to work in the fields.At night, when she was lying on the bed, she always closed her eyes, thinking about the two days and one night spent with the third child, especially that night, always made her heart surge.Sometimes she touched herself with her hands, but she didn't feel anything at all. She felt very strange. Could it be that the third child's hands were electrified?Why does he feel numb wherever he touches?She really wanted to fly with him every day, at least for the rest of his life, to fly with him every day.

She had heard people say that after a girl had done that with a guy, her figure would change, her way of walking would change, and even urinating would be different.She only heard people say, "The big girl pulls a line, and the little daughter-in-law pulls a wet piss", but they didn't elaborate on what the body will look like, nor what it will look like when walking.She felt that the way she walked hadn't changed, but she was a little frightened that others would see that her way of walking had changed. It was hard to get through a week, but on Sunday evening, Mr. Zhao, who had gone home for vacation the day before, did not come back to the farm. Two days later, he asked someone to bring a letter saying that he had an induced abortion and needed to rest for a month.Jingqiu was dumbfounded when she heard the news. If Teacher Zhao didn't come back, it meant that she couldn't go back to K City for vacation. She and Teacher Zhao were the only two people in charge of the food and cooking on the farm, and there had to be one person there.She was so anxious that she ran to Director Zheng to discuss it, saying that she had agreed to go back the next weekend, and if she didn't go back now, her mother must be very anxious.

Director Zheng comforted her and said, "Ms. Zhao is resting in K City. Your mother will know that you are on the farm. She won't worry. The school will send someone to replace Mr. Zhao. If you persist for a week or two, I will give you an extra one or two." Day off. Now you are the only one in charge of food on the farm, you must put your work first and help the farm with this favor.” Jingqiu was in a difficult situation, and she didn't know how to let the third child know that she couldn't leave.Fortunately, the third child didn't write a letter, which meant that the hospital hadn't concluded that he had the disease, so she had to wait patiently for a few days, and believed that the third child would understand.

A few days later, the school sent a female teacher surnamed Li to temporarily replace Teacher Zhao for a few days. Jingqiu hurriedly begged Director Zheng to let her go home for vacation this weekend.Director Zheng originally wanted to ask her to postpone it for another week and teach Teacher Li to take a vacation, but Jingqiu resolutely refused.Director Zheng had never seen Jingqiu so disobedient to the assignment, and was very upset, but there was nothing he could do, so he let her go home for vacation. It is now a week later than the agreed time, but Jingqiu believes that the third child will wait for her.On Saturday morning, she set off early, rushed from Fu's house to Yan's house alone, and took the first bus to K County Hospital. She went to the third child's ward first.But the third child was not there, and the people in the same ward seemed to have changed, saying that there was no one surnamed Sun in this ward.

Jingqiu went to look for Nurse Gao's dormitory again, but the third child was not there.She ran to find Nurse Gao, who was told that Nurse Gao was off that day.She begged her father to sue her grandma and asked Nurse Gao's address in the county. She searched all the way, but there was no one at Nurse Gao's house, so she had to wait at the door of Nurse Gao's house.It wasn't until the afternoon that Nurse Gao came back from her husband's house.She went up and introduced herself as Xiaosun's friend, and wanted to see if she knew where Xiaosun had gone. Nurse Gao said, "Oh, you are Jingqiu? Xiaosun borrowed the house that day to entertain you, right?" Jingqiu nodded.Nurse Gao said: "Xiao Sun has been discharged from the hospital a long time ago. He left you a letter, but I put it in the dormitory of the hospital. You can go get it with me now." Jingqiu thought, maybe it was the address of the second team left by the third child, telling her to look for her there.She followed Nurse Gao into that room again, full of thoughts, everything that happened that night was in front of her eyes. Nurse Gao brought the third child's letter to Jingqiu. There was no envelope, and it was still folded like a pigeon.She suddenly felt ominous, and sure enough, the third child said: "I'm sorry I lied to you. This is the first time I lied to you and the last time I lied to you. I don't have leukemia and I said that just to see you before I go. All this time, my father was in very bad health, and he wanted me to go back to him, so he arranged a transfer for me in private.I should have gone back to province A long ago to go to work, but I always wanted to see you, so I stayed here, waiting for the opportunity.Thanks to the grace of God this time, I finally got to meet you and spent two days and one night with you happily. I can leave without any regrets. I once promised your mother that I would wait for you for one year and one month, and I also promised you that I would wait until you were twenty-five years old. It seems that I cannot keep these promises.After all, the love of children is not as good as those higher-level callings.Blame me all you want, it's all my fault. The person with the same name as me can shield you from the wind and rain, and endure humiliation for you. I believe he is a good person.If you let him grow old with you, I will bless you. " This letter was like a sap, beating Jingqiu into a daze, not understanding what the third child meant.She thought that the third child must have been diagnosed with leukemia by the hospital. He was afraid that she would be sad, so he told this lie so that she would forget him and live happily. She asked Nurse Gao: "Do you know Xiao Sun—why was he hospitalized?" "You don't know? It's a bad cold." Jing Qiu asked cautiously: "How did I hear that he had——leukemia?" "Leukemia?" Nurse Gao clearly wasn't faking her surprise, "I didn't hear that. Leukemia won't be hospitalized here, right? Our conditions here are not good, and if it's a little serious, we'll be transferred." "When was he discharged from the hospital?" Nurse Gao thought about it for a while: "I should have been discharged from the hospital two weeks ago. I was on the day shift that day, and I shifted once a week---yes, I was discharged two weeks ago." "Did he -- last weekend -- come back to the hospital?" "I don't know if he came back last weekend, but he borrowed my room key. I still have a key, just lock it in the room when he leaves, so I don't know if he was here on the weekend. He borrowed the key because—you want to come?" Jing Qiu didn't answer. It seems that the third child was here waiting for her last weekend.Could it be because she didn't come in the end, made a misunderstanding, wrote that letter, and went back to A to save it?But the third child is not like the kind of person who would cause a misunderstanding just because he missed an appointment. She couldn't figure out why, and she couldn't get the third child out even sitting here. She wanted to go to the second team to find the third child, but she asked Nurse Gao for the time, and found that it was too late, and there was no bus to Yanjiahe. I had no choice but to thank Nurse Gao and drive back to City K. Staying at home, her heart can't calm down, what she hates the most is not knowing the truth of the matter.If you don’t know the truth, it’s like the court has no boundaries. You don’t know where to stand to catch the ball. The server can send the ball anywhere. That kind of worry and precaution is more terrifying than a ball directly hitting your forehead.She was extremely bored, and she was bored by anyone talking to her, as if everyone was deliberately twisting the rope against her. She originally had three days off, but she set off back to the farm early on Monday morning. She lied to her mother that it was because Teacher Li, who was new to the farm, was not familiar with cooking, so she went back early to help.When she got to K County, she got out of the car and ran to the county hospital, first visiting the ward where the third child lived.Of course the third child was not there, she had expected this, but it was just in case. Then she went to the office of the inpatient department to inquire about the reason why the third child was hospitalized, and she was told to go to Dr. Xie from the internal medicine department.She found Dr. Xie's office and saw a middle-aged female doctor talking about knitting sweaters with another female doctor.Hearing that Jingqiu was looking for her, she asked Jingqiu to wait outside the door for a while. Jing Qiu heard that they were arguing for an uncomplicated fancy pattern, so she walked in on her own initiative, saying that it should be like this.The two female doctors closed the door, took out sweaters, and asked Jing Qiu to confirm that she was right.Jing Qiu quickly showed them the weaving, and they were impressed, and asked her to write down the weaving method on a piece of prescription paper. The two female doctors studied for a while and were sure that they understood it, so Dr. Xie asked Jingqiu what she wanted from her.Jingqiu said, "I just wanted to find out about Sun---Jianxin was hospitalized for what disease---" She shared her worries, saying that she was afraid that the third child would be terminally ill, and that she hid because she was afraid that she would be sad. If that's the case, she must find A to save her and stay with him for these few months. The two female doctors all praised her for being so kind.Dr. Xie said, "I don't remember who was hospitalized for what disease. I'll help you look it up." As he spoke, he rummaged through a large cabinet, found a notebook, checked it, and said, " He was hospitalized because of a cold, and the injections, medicines, and infusions are all for colds." Jing Qiu didn't believe it, and said, "What is that book for? Can I read it?" Dr. Xie said: "This is the doctor's order book, you can read it if you want, but you can't read it---" Jingqiu studied medicine for a few days and stayed in the inpatient department. Although she didn't even learn anything superficially, she had heard of "doctor's orders".She took the book to look at it, and it was indeed a doctor's order book, with words like doctors' ghost marks, most of which were "same above" and "same above" in Latin.She turned to the front and found the doctor's order when the third child first entered the hospital. She recognized the Latin drug name "Penicillin" and the glucose syrup for intravenous injection, etc. It seemed that it was indeed a cold. When she came out of the hospital, she was in a very complicated mood. The third child had a cold, and she was happy for him, but he left such a letter and disappeared, which made her puzzled. When she got off the bus at Yanjiahe, without even thinking about it, she ran to the middle school to look for Duanfang. She didn't care that she was in class, so she waved at the window, and the teacher ran out to ask her what she was doing. She said she was looking for Wang Duanfang, the teacher He walked back angrily and called Duanfang out. Duanfang seemed to be surprised: "Why are you running here at this time?" Jingqiu said a little reproachfully: "How did you say that your brother was in the hospital that day? It's obvious that he is in the hospital----" "I called him brother--" "You said that day that he was-that disease, why did the hospital say otherwise? Who told you that he was-that disease?" Duanfang hesitated for a moment and said, "He said it himself. I'm not lying. Believe it or not, that's up to you---" "He transferred back to A and saved it, you know that?" "I heard. Why, you want to find him in province A?" "I don't even know his address in province A, where should I go to find him? Do you have his address?" Duanfang complained a little: "How could I have his address? He didn't even give it to you, so he would give it to me? I don't know what the hell you two are doing----" "We didn't do anything wrong, I was just worried that he had the disease, but he didn't want me to worry about it, so he hid in province A." "I don't believe it. You are not in a hurry when he hides in province A? Are you not in a hurry?" Jingqiu thinks about it too.She asked inexplicably: "Then why do you think he ran back to A and saved it?" Duanfang said angrily: "You ask me, who am I asking? That's why I said I don't know what the hell you two are doing---" Jingqiu pleaded: "Do you know where the second team is? Can you come with me? I want to go there to see, I'm afraid he's in the second team, hiding from me." Duanfang said: "I'm still in class ----, I'll tell you the place, you can find it yourself, it's very close, I'll show you." Jingqiu followed the direction Duanfang said, and went directly to the place where the second team worked. It was only a mile away from Yanjiahe. No wonder the third child said that he could walk to Yanjiahe during his lunch break.She asked those people who went to work where Sun Jianxin was, and someone told her that Xiao Sun had been transferred back to Province A, City B. His father was an official, and he had already found a receiving unit with him. It's not like us who have no background Yes, I can only spend my life in the wild. Jing Qiu asked: "Have you heard that he --- got -- terminally ill?" Several people looked at each other in blank dismay: "Xiao Sun has a terminal illness? Why haven't we heard about it?" One said: "What terminal illness does he suffer from? I think he is in good health. He can beat a tiger to death." Another said: "Hey, don't tell me, he was always sick and was hospitalized in the county hospital---" The third said: "He has a back door, and he didn't want to go to work, so he went to the hospital to stay for a few days. Who doesn't know that the girl in the county is beautiful?" This time, Jingqiu didn't know what was the worst mental preparation.Maybe the third child lied that he was not sick because he was afraid that she would worry about his illness, and hid alone to "wait for death".But all the evidence refuted this speculation. The doctor's order from the county hospital proved that he was indeed hospitalized due to a cold, and the people from the second team proved that he had indeed completed the procedures for being transferred back to province A long ago. It should be impossible to say that the third brother bribed all these people to help him lie to her.Especially the doctor's orders, so many days and so many people's doctor's orders are there, different ghost symbols must have been written by different doctors, it is impossible that the third child asked so many doctors to help make up the doctor's orders. In the end, Duanfang was the only one who said that the third child had leukemia, and he also heard from the third child himself, and no one saw any evidence.Jingqiu couldn't figure out why the third child would lie to her, saying that he had leukemia.He said he wanted to meet her, but he said he had leukemia after meeting her, how could it make sense? She had hardly had time to think it through before she was overwhelmed by another event: her old friend was late.Her old friends are generally very punctual, and only come early when encountering important events, but never postponed.An old friend who did not come after the expiration date meant she was pregnant. She still had common sense about this, because she had heard many stories of girls who were pregnant, and it was because the old friend did not come after the expiration date that she realized that she was pregnant. Without exception, those stories were tragic and terrifying, and because they were all people she knew, it was even more tragic and terrifying.There was a girl named "Da Lanzi" in No. 8 Middle School who went to the countryside after graduating from junior high school. For some reason, she started talking about friends with a very naughty boy and got pregnant.I heard that Da Lanzi tried every means to get rid of the child, deliberately carried a heavy load, and jumped from a high place to the ground. Everyone was injured and the child was not dropped. Later, the child was born, probably because of being skipped and pressed like that, and the stomach was tied with long cloth strips, so the child was a bit deformed, with two sunken ribs.Da Lanzi is still in the countryside and has not been recruited. Her boyfriend was sentenced to twenty years in prison for this incident and fighting.The child was handed over to her boyfriend's mother, and the two families were miserable. Da Lanzi was not the most unfortunate, because she had a bad reputation and couldn't be recruited back in the countryside. At least her boyfriend admitted that she was his child, and Da Lanzi survived.There is also a girl surnamed Gong who is even more unfortunate. She became friends with a boy and got pregnant. The boy got some herbal medicine from somewhere and said that eating it would kill the child.The girl surnamed Gong took it back and drank it secretly at home, but instead of beating the child, she beat herself to death.This matter caused a lot of trouble in the No. 8 Middle School of K City. The girl's family wanted the boy to accompany her, and there were fights between the two sides. In the end, the boy's family moved to another place. Jingqiu heard that when going to the hospital to abort a child, they need to show their work unit certificates. It seems that both men and women need work unit certificates.Of course, it is impossible for her to get a unit certificate, and the third child is also missing now, and of course she can't get his unit certificate.She thought, the third child knows everything, and he must know this too. Is it because he is afraid of losing this person that he ran away in such a sneaky way?So run away as soon as possible and let her face all this alone? No matter how she thinks, she feels that the third child is not such a person. The kindness he treated her in the past shows that he is very considerate of her and thinks of her in everything.How could she be left alone in such an embarrassing situation?Even if he really got leukemia, he has no reason to let her face it alone, right?He can always wait for this matter to be over before hiding aside and "waiting to die", right? There was only one way to explain his illogical behavior: he did it all to get her. She remembered the British novel <<Tess>> that she had read. The book was not lent to her by the third child, but she borrowed it from a radiologist when she was studying medicine in K City Hospital. Yes, the doctor asked to go back after only borrowing it for three days. She didn't have time to read it carefully, but she still remembered the plot of the story. It was about a young girl who was cheated of her virginity by a rich man. She also remembered several similar stories about rich men cheating on poor girls.When he didn't get it, the man chased him very closely, with sweet talk, money and material things, he was willing to do anything, and agreed to everything.But when she "succeeded", she changed her face, and in the end it was the poor girl who was unlucky.She suddenly discovered that the third child had never lent her this kind of book, and she was probably afraid that she would be seen as vigilant. Thinking along this path, every move of the third child can be explained.He worked hard for so long just for the scene in the hospital that day.If he really didn't want her to worry about his illness, he wouldn't say "it doesn't matter if they have the same name, as long as they have different lives".He also wouldn't nod when she asked if he had leukemia, and kept the secret from beginning to end.From time to time he revealed that he was terminally ill, why?Only to get her.He knew how much she loved him, and he also knew that if he had a terminal illness, she would do everything for him, including letting him "succeed". It seems that "successful" is the reason why he has been working hard for more than a year.Before he succeeded, he pretended to be a gentle and refined gentleman, caring and considerate for her.But after "successful", he tore off his mask, left a note, and disappeared without a trace. She was distraught and didn't know what to do.If she is pregnant, she has only two options.One is to die, but even if she dies, she can only free herself, and her family will still be laughed at forever.It's better to die to save people, then no one will investigate the cause of her death.The other way is to go to the hospital to have an abortion, and then live a lifetime of disgrace and disgrace.She didn't dare to imagine giving birth to a child, how unfair it would be to the child!It's enough to be ashamed all my life, do I want to implicate an innocent child? In those few days, she was living in hell, terrified all day long.Fortunately, a few days later, her old friend came, and she was so excited that tears filled her eyes. It was really like seeing an old friend she hadn't seen for many years. All physical discomfort became something worth celebrating.As long as you're not pregnant, everything else is trivial. When people talk about girls being cheated and losing their virginity, they are terrified, because of two things, one is that they will be ruined if they become pregnant, and the other is that they will not be able to marry after losing their daughters.Now there is no need to worry about getting pregnant, the rest is the problem of not being able to get married.She felt that she had no intention of getting married at all. If even someone like the third child came to court her just to "succeed", she couldn't think of anyone else who would truly love her.