Chapter 17 16

She didn't blame the third child very much, she thought, if I was worthy of his love, he would naturally love me; if he didn't love me, it was because I was not worthy of his love. The problem is that the third child doesn't love her, so why spend so much experience to get her?Maybe men are like this, the harder it is to get one, the more desperate it is to get it.The main reason why the third child has been able to make false claims with her for so long is that he has never succeeded.Like that Wang Xiaoliu, probably got it very early, so the third child didn't bother to talk to her very early on.He must have succeeded with many women, so he knows what a woman looks like in that place, and he also knows what "flying" is all about.

There is also the matter of "mung bean soup", he must have bragged about it to the people in the dormitory, saying that she is the "mung bean soup" he used to vent his anger, otherwise why would Lao Cai in his dormitory say that?The same thing, when he wanted to coax her to do it, he said it was "flying".But when he talked to the people in his dormitory, it turned into "venting fire".It's disgusting to think about. There are also those letters, he said that he wrote to the farm, but Director Zheng dared to guarantee that he did not return the letter with his party membership.She suspected that Director Zheng was lying before, but now it seems that the third child should be lying.

and also. . .She doesn't want to think about it anymore, almost everything can be summed up in this line, from the beginning to the end it was a bitter trick, sitting by the river all night, weeping, cutting her hands with a knife, each one was worse than the last one. Tragic, when all that failed, he came up with the trick of leukemia. The strange thing is that when she saw him through and saw clearly, her heart no longer ached, and she didn't regret what she had done.Only by eating a ditch can we gain a wisdom.Wisdom in life is not something that can be grown in vain. If others warn you with their own experience and lessons, you cannot really learn it.Only when you have experienced it yourself can you truly gain wisdom.When you use your wisdom to warn others, others will not believe in your wisdom as you did at the beginning, so every generation is making mistakes, and they are using their own mistakes to educate the next generation, and the next generation is still alive. make mistakes.

Jingqiu was transferred back to teach before working on the farm for half a year. It can be said that it was a blessing in disguise, but it was a blessing in disguise because of someone else's misfortune.She took over Class One of the Four Years of the Primary School Attached to No. 8 Middle School. The original head teacher was surnamed Wang. She was a teacher who had a good temper and a solid job, but couldn't teach well and lead the class well. She worked hard every day. , but the class just can't do it well. Not long ago, it was Teacher Wang's turn to work in class.Every school has a duty to hand in scrap iron, so the school contacted a factory on the other side of the river, and asked the students to go to the garbage dump in the factory to pick up those scrap nails and screws, and hand them over to the state for steelmaking and ironmaking.Teacher Wang took the students to pick up scrap iron. When they came back, the team broke up.Teacher Wang carried a load of scrap iron by himself, and had to run after run to maintain discipline. He was so busy that in the end, a few mischievous students slipped away.

At that time, the small river in front of the school was receding, leaving only a narrow ditch.People used straw bags filled with cinders to pave a road at the bottom of the river, and let those who crossed the river go from the river slope to the river ditch to take a small ferry.We call this paved road "dry dock". On both sides of the dry pier, there are places where the bottom of the river is very dry, places where there is silt, and places where there are silt hidden under dry and cracked mud clods.A naughty boy surnamed Jin in Mr. Wang’s class left the class and played on the other side of the river until late before heading home. He stepped into the mud by mistake, and there was no one around him, so he got stuck in the mud, sinking deeper and deeper.

Teacher Wang took most of the students back to school, and went back to look for the few students who had left the class, but couldn't find them, so he went home anxiously, hoping to see these mischievous students in class tomorrow. Trickster.As a result, the parents of the student surnamed Jin just entered the classroom the next day. They said that his son did not come home last night and asked Mr. Wang to hand over his son. Now the school was also in a hurry, and sent people to look for it everywhere, and even reported the case to the police station.A day later, the student surnamed Jin was dug up in the mud next to the dry dock in the river, and he was dead long ago.The parent surnamed Jin saw his son's mouth and face covered with foul-smelling mud, and when he thought of his son's dying struggle, he was filled with anger and pain, and passed it all on to Teacher Wang, saying that if he was a good teacher, his son would He would not have left the class and suffered such a catastrophe.

Parents surnamed Jin led a group of relatives and friends to chase and intercept Teacher Wang every day, demanding her pay for her life.The school had no choice but to send Mr. Wang to the farm to hide.No one dared to pick up Teacher Wang's class, so the school transferred Jing Qiu back to pick up that class. Jingqiu has always been a good student who obeys assignments. Although she is working now, she is still respectful and obedient to her former teachers.And she knew that if she refused to take the class this time, the school would not let her teach in the future.Without saying a word, she returned to K City, took over from Teacher Wang, and became the head teacher of Class One every four years.

The parents surnamed Jin saw that Jingqiu had no grievances with him, so they didn't bother her.Seeing that a teacher finally came to take over the class, the parents of other students were also a little grateful to Jingqiu.Jingqiu puts her whole body and mind into her work, preparing lessons, teaching, making home visits, and talking to students. She is busy until late every day before resting.Later, she gave full play to her volleyball expertise and organized a primary school women's volleyball team, leading the team to practice every morning and evening.Sometimes she took the students out for picnics, which was very popular with the students, and her class quickly became the best class in the grade.

When she was so busy, Jing Qiu didn't have much time to think about her third child.But in the dead of night, she will think of those past events, and she will have a little doubt, is the third child really a playboy?Could he be lying in some hospital, dying? She remembered that the third child had mentioned the military hospital in K City, saying that it was because of the cut that they asked him to go for an examination.Did the military hospital find out that the third child has leukemia?The more she thought about it, the more worried she became, so she asked Dr. Cheng to inquire about it.

Dr. Cheng said that the hospital does not belong to the medical system of City K, but is directly under the central government. It is said that it followed Chairman Mao's teaching of "preparing for war, preparing for famine, and serving the people". In order to prevent the outbreak of the third world war, it was specially built for the head of the central government .According to the characteristics of World War III, deep air-raid shelters were built to prevent atomic bomb attacks from imperialist and revisionist countries.Later, the rumors of the Third World War seemed to be less serious, and the hospital was only partially opened to the outside world, but it was difficult for ordinary people to enter.

Dr. Cheng took a lot of effort to find out the results, and said that according to the medical records, Sun Jianxin had mild thrombocytopenia, but it was not leukemia. Jingqiu gave up, knowing that she was just repeating a story that had been happening for thousands of years.She wasn't the first girl to be tricked, and she won't be the last.She felt more and more that what she had always loved was not the third child, but Doctor Cheng.The reason why she fell in love with Lao San at first sight was also because he looked like a doctor in some ways. Of course, it was just a certain place, and at a critical point, he and Dr. Cheng parted ways. There is a Bean Sprout Club on Jiangxin Island that sells raw bean sprouts, so bean sprouts are the most eaten dish in Jiangxin Island.Jingqiu always felt that the third child and Dr. Cheng were like a soybean sprout, with the same stem underneath, white and pure, and water would come out when pinched with fingers.But when it reaches the top, it is divided into two big watercress, the shape is the same, but one of the watercress is moldy and black, while the other watercress is still golden and keeps its true color. The bifurcation point is "success". Dr. Cheng has been married for so many years and still loves Mr. Jiang loyally, but the third child immediately changes his face as soon as he succeeds. She went to Mr. Jiang's house more and more frequently, just to hear Dr. Cheng's voice and see him loving his wife and children faithfully.Dr. Cheng may be the only man in Jiangxin Island who pours footwashing water for women. He pours water for his wife and mother-in-law.Especially in summer, everyone uses a large wooden tub to fill a lot of water and take a bath at home.No woman could handle the big basin of water, they scooped it up from a small basin and poured it outside.But at Dr. Cheng's house, he picked up the big basin of water and poured it outside. She didn't feel that Dr. Cheng was worthless because of this. On the contrary, she thought he was a great man. What moved her particularly was Dr. Cheng's love for the two children.On summer evenings, Dr. Cheng can always be seen taking his eldest son down the river to swim, while Teacher Jiang is sitting by the river with his younger son to watch.Many nights, Jingqiu saw Dr. Cheng playing with his young son on the bed, lying on the bed and letting his son ride like a horse, truly bowing his head and willingly being a bully. Dr. Cheng and his wife are recognized as a loving couple with a harmonious relationship.One of them played the piano, the other sang, and they cooperated with each other tacitly, which was almost a major landscape of Jiangxin Island. In Jingqiu's view, only Dr. Cheng, who is as consistent as Dr. Cheng, who is consistent before "success" and after "success", is worthy of love. She watched Dr. Cheng love his wife and children, and some poems would circle in her heart, short, just fragments one by one, triggered by a certain situation, and sighed for a certain mood.Those verses lingered in her mind and refused to leave, as if calling on her to write them down.When she returned to her dormitory, she would write down those verses, sometimes without a title, and she didn't use his name, but only one word: "he". 43 By chance, Jingqiu discovered the "culprit" who returned the letters.That day, Jingqiu was invited to Fu Jiachong by the two classes of the second year of high school who were exercising on the farm to accompany their performance.The Eighth Middle School Farm is going to have a party with an educated youth farm, and that farm is also in Fujiachong.Because it was the weekend, Jing Qiu accepted the invitation without hesitation, and the Eighth Middle School Farm even sent a boy to help her carry the accordion. Jingqiu arrived at the farm, rehearsed with the students, and followed the sophomore students to the educated youth camp.Once she got there, she was a standout because she played the accordion and was a woman.The educated youths on the farm also invited her to accompany them. They were all familiar tunes, so she accompanied both programs. After the performance, there were still many people around her, some asked her to pull another one, and some even took it and pulled it twice. They all said it was so heavy that they couldn't be pulled apart. A male educated youth named Niu Fusheng heard Jing Qiu's name, so he ran up to her and said, "Is your surname really 'Jing'? Is there really someone with the surname 'Jing'?" Seeing Jing Qiu, he nodded , and said, "The letter we received here should be your letter some time ago." It turned out that the Eighth Middle School Farm had just been established at that time, and the messenger was not very familiar with it. He only saw the words "K City Eighth Middle School Farm", and he took it for granted to deliver it to this educated youth farm, because this farm was called "K City Eighth Engineering Corps Farm".The Eighth Engineering Team used to be a military establishment, but later transferred to other places. This farm is specially run for their children. After graduating from middle school, they come here to exercise. The eighth engineering team. The person in charge of sending and receiving at the farm didn't know who this "Jing Qiu" was, and after many inquiries, no one knew, so they returned the letter.Niu Fusheng often went to the receiving and receiving office to get letters. He had seen this rare surname. He saw that the letter was sent from Yanjiahe, and he felt very strange. It was only six miles away. Why did he write a letter?He remembered the name "Jingqiu", and now that he saw the owner of the name, he immediately remembered it. Jing Qiu thanked him, and begged him to accept the letter addressed to "Jing Qiu" for her if she saw it in the future, and she would take it by herself when she had a chance.Niu Fusheng asked her for her address in City K, and promised that if he saw Jingqiu's letter in the future, he would collect it for her and deliver it to her when he returned to City K. This discovery is not so much a cleansing of Director Zheng, as it is a cleansing of the third child. At least it cleans him on the matter of writing the letter, which shows that he did write the letter.But when he met her later, why didn't he give her those returned letters?She guessed that they were all letters of resignation, so he didn't show her to avoid spoiling his plan. Jingqiu now has her own dormitory, which is assigned by the school, a single room of about ten square meters, and she shares it with a female teacher surnamed Liu.There was a desk with two drawers in their dormitory, one drawer for each of them, and both of them put a lock on their own drawer.Jingqiu has her own half of the world, so she locks her little secrets there. Teacher Liu's home is on the other side of the river, and he goes back on weekends, so on weekends, this room is Jingqiu's world alone.At that time, she would lock the door, take out the letters and photos of the third child, and imagine that those letters were written by Dr. Cheng to her.When she thinks like this, she feels very happy and intoxicated, because those words can only be meaningful if they come from the mouth of a doctor like Cheng, otherwise they are blasphemy. By coincidence, she copied a few of her poems on paper, hoping to find a chance to show it to Dr. Cheng.She herself didn't know what it meant to show him, she just wanted to show him. One day, when Dr. Cheng came to carry her son from her, she secretly stuffed those little poems that she had kept for several days in Dr. Cheng's pocket.For two or three days, she dared not go to Dr. Cheng's house.She didn't feel sorry for Teacher Jiang, because she never thought of taking Dr. Cheng as her own. She just worshiped him and loved him. Those poems were written for him, so she wanted to show him.She didn't dare to go to his house, mainly because she was afraid that he would laugh at her writing and her feelings. That weekend night, Dr. Cheng came to her bedroom.He returned the poems to her and said with a smile: "little girl, you are very talented, you will become a great poet, and you will also meet the 'him' in your poems, keep it for he." Jingqiu was very flustered, and repeatedly stated: "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm writing, and I don't know why I put these things in your pocket, I must be crazy----" Dr. Cheng said: "You --- if you have any concerns, you can talk to Teacher Jiang. She has experience, she can understand you, and she will keep it secret for you ---" Jingqiu begged him: "Don't tell Teacher Jiang about this, she will definitely scold me. Don't tell anyone about this----" "I won't. Don't be afraid. You didn't do anything. You just wrote a few poems. I asked someone who doesn't understand poetry to advise me. I can't make any comments on poems, but I have no opinions on some things in life. problem, maybe I can help." His voice was very soft and sincere. She didn't know whether it was because she trusted him, or because she wanted to declare that she had no intention other than worship. She told him the story of her and the third child, only the details of that night . After listening to it, Dr. Cheng speculated, "Maybe he still has leukemia, otherwise there is no way to explain why he avoided you. He was hospitalized in the county hospital. It may be because of a cold, because leukemia patients have low resistance and are prone to various diseases. .Now there is no way to cure leukemia. The only way is to treat the cold if you have a cold, and treat the cold if you have a cold, so as to prolong the patient's life as much as possible. The county hospital may not know that he has leukemia. His leukemia may be detected by the military hospital. .” "But didn't you say—that hospital diagnosed him with—thrombocytopenia?" "If he doesn't want you to know, of course he will ask the hospital to keep it secret---" Dr. Cheng said, "I'm just guessing like this, and it may not be correct. But if it was me, I'm afraid I can only do this, because you He said he wants to go with him, what other choice does he have? You can’t really let him go, can you? And let you watch him lose weight and haggard day by day, step by step towards death, How could he bear it? If it were you, you wouldn't want him to see you walking towards---death step by step, would you?" "Then you mean that he - now alone in province A - waits to die?" Dr. Cheng thought for a while: "I'm not sure, he might be in City K. If it were me, I think I would come back to City K. After all---it's closer---" Jingqiu said eagerly: "Then---can you help me go to various hospitals---to inquire?" "I can inquire for you, but you--you have to make sure that you won't--do stupid things, so I will inquire--" Jingqiu quickly promised: "I won't, I--I--will never say those words again--" "Not only can't say those words, but also can't do those things. He is worried about you, which invisibly increases the burden on his mind. Maybe he-has already prepared-resigned to fate and can face it calmly. ----death, but if he thinks that his going will take you -too, he'll be -very angry with himself." Dr. Cheng told Jingqiu the life experience of his eldest son, and it turned out that his eldest son was not his own, but the son of a patient of his.After the patient died, her husband also committed suicide, leaving behind an orphan. Dr. Cheng adopted him and transferred him from J City to K City, lest outsiders tell the child the tragic story of his biological parents. Dr. Cheng said: "I work in the hospital every day, and I often see patients die, and see the families of patients in grief. Over the years, after seeing so many life and death, the biggest feeling is that the life of each of us is precious. It's not ours alone, and we can't deal with it as we want. If you --- went with him, how sad would your mother be? How sad would your brothers and sisters be? We would all be sad, and it wouldn't do him any good Before he was alive, it could only increase his mental burden; after his death ----- you must know that there is no afterlife, and there is no other world, even if two people die at the same time, it can't be ----- Let the two of you be together. He said it very well, he will not die if you live." Jingqiu said sadly: "I'm afraid---he has already---, can you help me find out as soon as possible?" Dr. Cheng asked everywhere for her, but there was no hospital where a person named Sun Jianxin was hospitalized, including the military hospital.Dr. Cheng said: "I'm at the end of my rope, maybe I guessed wrong, maybe he's not in City K----" Jingqiu is also at the end of her rope. The only thing that can comfort her is that Dr. Cheng may have guessed wrong. He said "if it was me", but the third child is not him. The two of them parted ways at a crucial point, and she did not If you tell the key point, Dr. Cheng will probably guess wrong. In April of 1976, Zheng Ling, who was studying in a local normal school, came to Jingqiu and said that she had something very important to discuss with her.After Zheng Ling was recruited from the countryside to be a district teacher in K City, she would go back to her parents' house in No. 8 Middle School of K City every weekend, often playing with Jing Qiu. This time when Zheng Ling saw Jing Qiu, she said, "I got into a catastrophe, and only you can save my life." Jingqiu was startled, and hurriedly asked what was going on. Zheng Ling faltered and said: "I--maybe--are pregnant with Xiao Mao Mao--" Jing Qiu asked: "You---with---Xiao Xiao's----" "Who else could it be if it wasn't that bastard?" Zheng Ling's "that bastard" was surnamed Xiao, and he belonged to the exploration team, but this exploration team was in the field of water conservancy, and had nothing to do with the third child's exploration team.When someone introduced Zheng Ling to Xiao Xiao, it happened that Xiao Xiao was working at the headquarters in K City during that time, and did not go to the wild.Zheng Ling didn't know that Xiao Xiao would often run outside, so she agreed to get in touch with Xiao Xiao. Xiao Xiao was born tall and tall, with straight eyebrows, read a lot of books, and can recite many ancient poems off the tongue. These points immediately fascinated Zheng Ling. As a normal student, she is not as good as Xiao Xiao in terms of literary talent. This is for exploration.The relationship between the two quickly heated up. Xiao Xiao was probably afraid that Zheng Ling would dislike him if he knew that he was out in the wild, so he cooked the raw rice into cooked rice in the shortest possible time.By the time Zheng Ling found out that he was not in City K most of the time, it was too late. After Zheng Ling's parents knew about this, they strongly objected, saying that Xiao Xiao was not an honest person just because he was out in the wild because he kept it from him.They might have agreed if he'd been honest about it from the start, but now they couldn't trust him. Zheng Ling is having a hard time, her parents firmly disagree, and Xiao Xiao is very strong, saying that your parents don't like me, let it be fine, but my parents still think you are too short, and I have been dating you despite their opposition .I also graduated from a water conservancy technical secondary school, and I am no worse than you.You are a teacher in the district, maybe you will be assigned to a county after graduation, not much better than me. Zheng Ling begged Jing Qiu: "You are very familiar with that doctor Cheng, please help me find out if I can go to their hospital to check if I am pregnant with Xiao Mao Mao? Yes, so am I still alive?" Jingqiu had the cheek to go to Dr. Cheng, saying that she was asking for a friend.Dr. Cheng asked her to take her friend to the hospital to find him, and he helped arrange it. Jingqiu took Zheng Ling to the hospital, and Dr. Cheng gave Zheng Ling a fake name and asked her to take a pregnancy test.After the result came out, Dr. Cheng saw that it was "positive", and said, "Yes." When Zheng Ling heard it, she almost burst into tears on the spot, and Jing Qiu dragged her out of the hospital. One day later, Zheng Ling came to Jingqiu again with a sad face, saying that she had discussed with Xiao Xiao, Xiao Xiao refused to marry in a hurry, saying that she didn't prepare the furniture and anything, and getting married in such a hurry, others must know that something was wrong up.Besides, if you gave birth to a child in less than ten months, wouldn't that make people laugh?Maybe the unit will punish him. Jingqiu was very angry when she heard this, and immediately thought of the third child, who ran away when he was in danger.She asked, "Then—what are you going to do?" "Of course I had to get rid of Luo, and I have to trouble you to find that doctor Cheng. That bastard refused to help at all, he said he didn't get his things there, how could there be children? I must have done it with someone else Something happened, and it was his fault." Jing Qiu was puzzled: "Why didn't you get it there?" Wei Ling explained: "Of course it's the thing that gives birth to the baby, the man's sperm---" Jingqiu was originally unwilling to inquire about these details, and she would help if she could help. She didn't want to force her to explain the "crime history" just because she helped Zheng Ling, but this detail was really important to her, and she couldn't help but So I asked, "Where do you get the baby stuff?" Wei Ling said: "Hey, you haven't talked about boyfriends, you haven't done these things, and you don't understand if you tell me, but you just get the things for giving birth to--you come to old friends--there-- ---." Zheng Ling said angrily, "He didn't get it there in the end, but he----in front----must have gotten some there----to go, otherwise, why would I be pregnant? ---Little Maomao? It fell from the sky? I know best in my heart that I have never slept with any other man -----" Jing Qiu was dumbfounded when she heard that, and got those greasy things——where?gross.She suddenly remembered a scary story she had heard before. It said that a girl hung her shorts with the reverse side out to dry against the wall, and was crawled by a spider. The girl got pregnant after wearing those shorts. Spawns a nest of spiders. So she never hangs her shorts out to dry, or against a wall, or anywhere a spider can crawl.But she didn't understand before that how the spider climbed the shorts and the girl became pregnant.Only now did she understand that the spider must have put its baby stuff on the shorts, and the girl wore them, and those things went to the girl, so she became pregnant. She suddenly understood that the third child really did nothing as he said, because he didn't paste the things for giving birth to her, which meant that he didn't "succeed".Since he didn't "succeed", her previous guesses were all wrong.He must have leukemia. He was afraid that she would go with him after he died, so he lied that he didn't have leukemia.But if he stayed in K county, she would soon find out that he had leukemia, so he had to hide back in A province.If he does this, maybe she will hate him, but it will save her life. Thinking of this, her heart was pierced, she didn't know how to find him, and she didn't know if he was still there. 46 Jingqiu didn't expect that she was so ignorant that she didn't even know what intercourse was.If it wasn't for Zheng Ling who happened to hear about it this time, she might still be wrongly blaming the third child, thinking that the third child "successful".At first she thought that sleeping on the same bed meant sharing the same room, but when Zhongmin said that time, "Fortunately, we didn't take off the cotton clothes and turn off the lights", she realized that taking off the cotton clothes and turning off the lights are the most important. When she met Lao San in the hospital, she was going to do everything she could do with him before she died, so she bravely took off her cotton coat and finally turned off the light. That time he said that he didn't dare to touch her, fearing that he would not be able to resist doing things that only husband and wife can do.And she told him not to be afraid, told him to do it, and if he didn't do it, both of them would die.Then the third child fell on top of her, and she thought that the next thing to do was a couple's business. She remembered that she said some very bad things because of ignorance and curiosity that night, which must have made the third child very uncomfortable, and now she really wanted to cut off her tongue.After they flew by that day, he wiped the greasy stuff off her belly with a towel, and she asked, "How do you know it's - not - pee?" He seemed embarrassed and said, "It's not--" "But isn't the pee also—isn't it pulled out from here?" Seeing him nodding his head in admission, she asked, "Then how do you know when—it's pee and when it's not? Could it be? Mis----" He didn't seem to be able to explain clearly, so he just said vaguely: "I can feel it. Don't worry, it's—absolutely not—peeing." He got up, put on some clothes, and poured some hot water on his face In the basin, I twisted a towel, wiped her hands and belly for a long time, and said, "Don't worry now?" She declared: "I don't-- think you're dirty, I'm just afraid of greasy things." After thinking about it, she said, "It's strange, why do men--use a-- - What about two things?" He couldn't answer, so he just put his arms around her and laughed silently: "You mean that men should have two tubes, each performing its own duties? The question you asked is too----complicated, and I can't answer it. No. I want to make myself like this, maybe I have to ask the creator—— Later he told her about his first time.At that time, he was only in the sixth grade of primary school. He had an exam and had a very difficult question. He felt that he couldn't do it. When he was nervous, he felt like he was urinating, but he felt a strange and comfortable feeling. Only then did I realize that it was called "nocturnal emission". She was very surprised: "You are - so - hooligan in the sixth grade of elementary school?" He explained: "It's not a 'hooligan', it's just a normal physiological phenomenon. When boys reach puberty and start to develop, they will have this phenomenon, and sometimes it will happen in their dreams. Just like you girls, at a certain point , there will be ---- 'old friend'." She suddenly realized that boys also have "old friends", but why do girls feel uncomfortable when they come to old friends, but why do boys have a "strange sense of comfort" when they come to old friends?It seems unfair. She also told him about her first time.It was when her mother was hospitalized, and the hospital was about ten miles away from her home. Her younger sister was too young to walk that far, so she stayed overnight in the hospital, sleeping on the same bed with her mother.And she went to the hospital to take care of her mother during the day, and went home at night to sleep with Zuo Hong. One night in the middle of the night, the two of them ran outside to urinate and came back. Zuo Hong said, "You must be your old friend. There is red on the bed, but my old friend didn't come." Zuo Hong found some toilet paper for her, fastened it with a long mask strap, and helped her carry it on her body.She was scared and ashamed and didn't know what to do.Zuo Hong told her: "Every girl will come to old friends, and many of your classmates may have come early. When you go to the hospital, just tell your mother, she will teach you." She went to the hospital that day, but she couldn't say anything. After a long time, she told her mother.My mother said happily: "What a coincidence, I am going to have a total hysterectomy soon. If I do it, I will not come to my old friends, and you just picked it up at this time. Life is really passed on from generation to generation." The third child heard this and said, "I hope you will get married in the future, have children, daughters, daughters, daughters, and they will all look like you, so that Jingqiu will be passed down from generation to generation." She felt that what he meant was to let her marry someone else and have children. She didn't want to hear what he said, so she covered his mouth with her hand and said, "I won't marry anyone else, I'll just marry you Get married and have your children." He hugged her tightly and murmured, "Why are you--to be so nice to me? I want to--marry you too--but--" She saw that he was very sad, so she dragged the conversation elsewhere.She said: "The right side of my body is bigger than the left." She showed him her two thumbs together, and showed him her two arms together, and the right side was slightly thicker than the left. He looked at her breasts for a while, then held her breasts, and asked, "Then yours——are they also one big and one small?" She nodded: "It's a little different, the one on the right is bigger, so when I make a bra, I have to make one or two more folds on the right side." He got under the quilt to look at it for a long time, then popped his head out and said, "You can't tell it when you lie down, sit up and show me." She sat up and showed him, he said it was a little bit, and then he asked, "Shall I draw you? I've learned a little bit of drawing---. When it's dawn, I'll go back to the ward to get a pen and paper---" "What are you drawing for?" "Look at the painting every day---" he declared, "If you think it's not good, forget it." "I don't think it's bad, but you don't need to draw it, I can show it to you every day." "I still want to draw—" The next day, he went back to the ward to bring a pen and paper, and asked her to lie on the bed under the quilt. After a few glances, he let her lie under the quilt, and then he drew for a while, and then looked at it after drawing .He quickly drew a picture, and she looked at it, and felt that although it was just a rough outline, it looked quite similar. She instructed: "Don't show it to others, because if they know it, they will arrest you as a hooligan." He smiled: "Why would I be willing to show it to others?" That day he told her not to wear any clothes and just stay under the quilt.He ran out to empty the spittoon, then came back to fetch water for her to wash her face and mouth with a washbasin and mouthwash cup, and then went to the hospital cafeteria to get food and came back to eat.She put on a dress and sat under the quilt to eat, and then got into the quilt again after eating.Later, he also took off his clothes and went to bed, and the two of them spent a long time loving each other until there was no car to Yanjiahe in half an hour, so he hurriedly put on his clothes and ran to the station to take the bus. She thinks back on that scene now, knowing that he was ready to leave her so she could live, and she was wrong about him, and he really didn't do anything. She was so sorry, so sorry, if she had known this earlier, she would have run to him long ago.It has been almost half a year since that meeting. If he had been diagnosed with leukemia after the hand cutting, it would have been eight or nine months, and he might have passed away at the end of last year.