Chapter 19 Chapter 06

On Saturday morning, Wu Renmin unexpectedly received a letter from a bookstore, and it happened that Fang Yadan was in his room. "Looking at the handwriting, it must have been written by a woman," Fang Yadan said with a smile. "Woman? Is there any girlfriend who wrote to me?" Wu Renmin said hesitantly after receiving the letter.He slowly opened the letter. "Mr. Wu——When you read this letter, don't you know if you still have my shadow in your mind? The woman in blue dress you met on the guild hall that day was me. She is one of your students .She has listened to your lectures many times in the high school classroom of XX University, and has won your sympathy because of the desolation of her life experience. You are a kind gentleman she loves and respects, and she will never forget Sir. I saw your kind face on the cemetery that day. Although I couldn't immediately remember your last name, the old things of the past began to appear in my mind vaguely. Many tears swallowed in my belly made my frailty My heart ached. I hurried home. Sir, I finally remembered your last name. Sir, you see what an ungrateful woman I am. I even forgot your last name. You Helped me so lovingly. When I was threatened by a man's love, you rescued me so much that, after swallowing many bitter tears, I found quiet happiness, and Walk safely into the arms of the man I love. Although my fate with him is so shallow, he only gave me a short time of happiness before leaving this world forever and leaving me alone, but what you gave My kindness has already impressed my poor woman. Sir, since I came back from seeing his grave that time, I have fallen ill. In my illness, I often think of you, your kind sir. In my illness, I dreamed You will come to me and let me express my gratitude to you for the last time, because I am afraid I will not live long. As you know, sir, I have suffered from lung disease for a long time and have recently begun to vomit blood. I don't know why I have to cry when I see my own blood, and sometimes I have to cry for an hour or two. Sir, maybe a woman like me is not worthy of pity. Sir, I don't know if you have time Did you come to see me? I don’t know if this letter of mine is blessed enough to come into your eyes? But I still sincerely pray that I will have a chance to talk to my husband before I die, maybe it won’t be too much Please, sir. See, sir, how absurd and pathetic it is for me to think of dying at such a young age. There is so much to say, sir. But I have no strength to write.

Sincerely, near safety. Sincerely, student Xiong Zhijun on ××××month" Also wrote her mailing address at the back. "Xiong Zhijun..." Wu Renmin folded the letter and read the name twice dreamily. "Xiong Zhijun, who is she?" Fang Yadan asked curiously. Wu Renmin did not answer, but continued to talk to himself: "Xiong Zhijun, with a slender back, drooping black hair, and a sad face...lung foil..." Then he said in a decisive voice: "Yes, I remember her, I Know her. Xiong Zhijun, that female student." So he handed the letter paper to Fang Yadan's hand and said, "Just read it."

Fang Yadan took the letter and read it.At the same time, Gao Zhiyuan, who was lying on the bed in pajamas and complaining of stomach pain, also closed his mouth wide, turned over and jumped out of bed with a smile, walked behind Fang Yadan, put his arm on his shoulder, and paid attention Read the letter. "Ai" hummed from Gao Zhiyuan's wide mouth. "It turned out to be such a woman. Ah,... Renmin, is that the beautiful phantom you were talking about?" "I'm leaving," Wu Renmin stood up suddenly and said to himself. "Are you going to see that Xiong Zhijun?" Gao Zhiyuan asked mockingly.

"Yes," Wu Renmin agreed vaguely. "I advise you not to go," Gao Zhiyuan said solemnly. Wu Renmin was about to walk out of the room, but stopped, and turned to look at him. "Do you think you can help her? Can you bring her happiness?" Gao Zhiyuan asked like a sudden quarrel. "I don't know," Wu Renmin replied blankly, and later added a sentence of explanation: "I didn't think about it." "You won't," Gao Zhiyuan said firmly, as if spitting on Wu Renmin's face. "You're not going to help her, you're just causing pain to her and to yourself.

It is useless to try to save people individually without society.And women are fragile at all, they are so soft that they have no bones, if you try to pull them up, they will drag you down instead.My words are not bad at all.I have seen many people fall and rebel for the sake of women. " "I won't," Wu Renmin said half angrily and half confidently. "You won't, who would believe it? Your temperament is like a volcano under the snow. You fall into the fire pit of love, and you can do anything. I advise you not to go to see her," Gao Zhiyuan said with concern, wide Some foam came out of the mouth.

"Didn't you see in her letter that she would not live long? She just asked to talk to me before she died, and I couldn't refuse her." Wu Renmin said enthusiastically. "Let me ask you, do you go to every dying person who asks you to talk? You are not a pastor." Gao Zhiyuan smiled with his mouth wide open, showing a row of yellow teeth.He pulled off the pajamas, and a chest with few hairs emerged from under the torn undershirt. He was wearing a pair of shorts with the buttons unbuttoned, and a pair of hairy legs underneath. "Zhiyuan, you should also dress neatly. Look at what you look like. No wonder you hate women, because women will never like a man like you who doesn't like cleanliness," Fang Yadan interrupted suddenly, and continued There was a burst of laughter.

Gao Zhiyuan quickly pulled the pajamas over.He blushed slightly because Fang Yadan mentioned his weakness. "I'm going," Wu Renmin said to himself, and quickly disappeared under the stairs. Wu Renmin realized that he hadn't tied his tie properly when he was walking on the street, so he untied it and tied it again.He walked and tied.Suddenly a tram came from behind.He hurried to catch up, and just got into the car, the car drove away.But he was already blushing and his neck was swollen from running. He got out of the car, walked a few streets, and finally found Xiong Zhijun's apartment.This is a relatively clean alley with only a dozen houses in it.Shikumen is a new building with three floors, and the air is still fresh.He thought: "It's not bad to recuperate here."

He found the horn, knocked on the front door first, but there was no answer, then turned to the back door, knocked for a while, and an aunt from Jiangbei opened the door for him. Hearing that she came to see a woman surnamed Xiong, my aunt called "Miss Xiong" from below.There was a female answer from upstairs, and then there seemed to be a door knocking. "You go up, three floors," Auntie said to him with a smile. Wu Renmin was walking on the stairs, thinking about what to say when he saw her.He raised his head inadvertently, and saw a face bent down with a pile of hair beside the stairs above.

He knew it must be her, and he felt hot on his face, and he didn't know why.He hurried up happily. His feet were still on the last step, and he stood face to face with her. He remembered very clearly that it was exactly the same as the one he saw in the cemetery that day, even the blue cheongsam had not been changed.The drooping black hair, the slender figure, and the mournful features seemed to be engraved in his mind.Two watery eyes filled with many melancholy thoughts.A layer of mist covered the beautiful face.A small mouth is slightly opened. Standing like this for a minute or two, neither of them spoke.Wu Renmin could only feel that pair of soft, surprised, suspicious, crying eyes hovering over his face.But gradually he saw a change.The mist on her face was slowly dissipating.

Suddenly she moved her lips and smiled, which in his opinion was just a little bit like crying.Then, the three words "Mr. Wu" were gently spit out from her mouth. "It's me, Miss Bear," he agreed emotionally.He tried to speak, but something blocked his throat.He just silently followed her into the room. From that moment on, however, the distance between them shortened. The woman sat on the edge of the bed, and the man sat on the armchair by the table.The table was clean and there were a few books on it.Wu Renmin put his eyes on the book, but said ordinary socializing words to her.He stopped, but she didn't continue. For some unknown reason, she turned her back and lowered her head in silence for a while.When Auntie brought up the kettle, she put on a smile and stood up to greet him to pour tea.

"She cried," he thought, feeling a little sad. "Why is she crying?" he asked himself secretly.Suddenly a sentence from the letter broke into his mind, as if giving him an answer.He looks at her face.She was standing in front of the cabinet, grabbing peanuts from a glass jar and putting them on a magnetic plate. Her beautiful face lacked color, but her lips were red. "It's not bloodstains." He thought, and his heart ached again. She put the plate in front of him and said with a smile: "Please eat a little," then sat back on the edge of the bed and watched him eat peanuts slowly.She began to describe the past. She first told a story about Wu Renmin helping her when she was threatened because she refused to accept a man's love.Wu Renmin had buried this matter in a very deep place long ago, and he never remembered it, but unexpectedly, she discovered it now.Yes, he had helped her.She was still his student then.Before she graduated from high school, her family got her engaged and told her to drop out of school and go back to get married.She already had a lover in this city, so she naturally didn't want to go back to get married, and she knew what kind of person her family wanted her to marry.The result of the rebellion: she left the family.But she has difficulty in continuing her education.The news reached Wu Renmin's ears.Wu Renmin voluntarily came out to help her and found her a proofreading position in a bookstore so that she could continue studying in school.Not long after this incident happened, Wu Renmin left that school and quickly forgot about her.A man who has a wife he is satisfied with at home can easily forget other girls who "have masters". Wu Renmin himself often said such things.What's more, there was still work occupying his time before.But now everything is a thing of the past, she is alone, and he has lost his Yaozhu forever. "What's the point of bringing up the past?" he said with a modest smile.In fact, he said secretly in his heart: "Go on, your voice is so gentle, and there is so much warmth in your story..." "The past is my only comfort. Thinking about it now, it's really Beautiful, just like a dream," she said, smiling dreamily, although there was a bit of desolation in the smile, it was enough to make her face look alive. "It's easy for a sick person to remember the past, let alone a favored event? Sir, you don't know that this memory has given me so much comfort, so much warmth..." "Your illness is nothing to worry about. You are still so young, your life has not blossomed, and you will have more beautiful days in the future. Why do you have decadent thoughts? You should be thinking about happy things. Illness is not a big deal..." Wu Renmin was moved Talk intermittently.Suddenly he shut up, he couldn't go on.He was very excited.He said to himself in silent language: "Sympathy, this is sympathy." In fact, he was moved by a moment of love. He sighed slightly, stood up and took a few peanuts from the table, chewing them slowly. "It's been over a year since he died, and my relationship with him is so shallow," she whispered in pain. "More than a year? Has he been dead for more than a year?" he said in surprise. "Yes," she replied in a low voice, lowering her head and adding, "Now I am a piece of duckweed abandoned in the sea." "My Yaozhu, my wife also died at that time," he said sentimentally. She immediately raised her head, looked at him with blank eyes, and then murmured to herself: "There are coincidences in everything, and disasters come by such coincidences..." Wu Renmin thought painfully: "It's the same The misfortune of that has bound the two of us together." He only responded. "Then Mr. is still alone so far?" She inadvertently said this, but buried her head again. "Yes, a person can also be said to be a homeless person. Some friends also call me Luo Ting. I am indeed like Luo Ting, with a warm heart, wandering around, being despised and misunderstood by others ..." He said these words with a bit of resentment, he spoke very seriously, but forgot that he had never wandered around. "Yes," she said, looking up at him softly again. "In today's society, people with a warm heart often don't get people's understanding. Didn't my husband once tell me that we should have the courage to go alone? I still remember this sentence. It is a very beautiful sentence ...It's a pity that I never did it." The last sentence was whispered with a sigh, as if she was afraid of being heard by him. "I've forgotten what I said," he said with a wry smile. "Words are beautiful, but what are they good for? Miss Xiong, you don't know, that loneliness, that loneliness of the heart. It's worse than death. It's always a misunderstanding, always a disappointment. My warm heart is lonely I was tortured in this place, and no one came to share my distress and sympathize with me. No one cared about me. Loneliness is always the loneliness that is more dreary than death. Miss Xiong, I only say this to you, I never I've told others. But you won't understand me either." The more he spoke, the more passionate he became, and at the same time the more bitter and angry. "Sir, why do you say that I don't understand you?" She argued seriously. "You don't know how much I appreciate you, how much I adore you. Maybe I don't know you now, but I would love to know you. I hope you give me a chance..." A light illuminated her face, pale Stained with a faint red cloud. Even if it wasn't for the above words, Wu Renmin could be moved by her appearance alone.His countenance also changed. "Miss Bear,...Miss Bear," he called out twice. "You are so great... I have only heard one person say that to me in my life, and that is you.... You are so pure. So kind. I don't know how to thank you." Trembling like a shiver, her eyes looked at her slightly opened mouth without moving.He felt that a noble feeling took hold of him, and a solemn voice said in his ear: "Speak frankly, speak frankly before this noble woman, and pour out to her your sorrows of so many days." ." "Sir," she said, raising her voice a little, "why do you say these things to me? I am not worthy. I have gone through so much pain and am able to live to this day, isn't it all thanks to your gift? You now You still have to say thank you, aren't you mocking me? Sir..." Judging from her facial expression, her heart and mouth are consistent. "Sir? Please don't call me sir. Wouldn't it be better if we were friends?" He said aloud as if forgetting himself. The two people looked at each other, they were silent, but both hearts were talking, and both pairs of eyes were exploring. "Sir, I really don't know what to call you. Isn't that the most beautiful name?" she said in a very soft voice. "Let me call you like this forever. I will never forget this name until I die." She paused, stood up and walked to the table, picked up the thermos and poured him a cup of tea, and poured a cup herself, He returned to the bed with the teacup, sat down and drank a few sips, and then continued slowly: "Sir, you may want to know my life for more than a year. You may wonder how I lived after he died It's actually very simple. I have been doing proofreading work in a bookstore for a long time. Later, my body became too sick to do the kind of things that only caused heartache and headache, so I moved here. This is a My girlfriend's home. She treats me very well, and she will never let me leave here..." "Is she at home now?" He asked suddenly. "No, she has gone to the country, and she will come back soon. She is from the same town as me, and she was a classmate in elementary school. Thanks to her persuasion, my mother often helped me and corresponded with me. But my father's heart is still not good. Ken Kuan said "Father's heart will soften one day," he comforted her like this. "I don't know if I can wait until that day," she said sentimentally. "I seldom go out these days. I often sit at home all day, sometimes holding a book or two, sometimes afraid to move. I don't know why, I feel tired very easily. It's very lonely here. That girlfriend After returning to my hometown, no one came to talk to me. Here, I don’t have many friends. I just sit at home all day and don’t want to do anything, and no one comes to see me.” "I will definitely come to see you often in the future," he said sincerely, not as if he was giving a favor, but as if he wanted to repay a favor. "Thank you," there was a little joy in her voice. "I'm afraid sir doesn't have so much time. I know you're busy. I know you have your career. And it's not worth spending sir's precious time for the little me." "I have a lot of time, and I'm lonely," he said emotionally. The two talked a little more, and Wu Renmin finally left.Xiong Zhijun sent him downstairs and accompanied him to the back door.He walked to the corner and looked back, the slender body wrapped in the blue cheongsam was still standing there quietly. Wu Renmin was walking on the road, seeing the blue sky, the golden sunshine, and the sycamore leaves on the sidewalk, he felt very happy in his heart, and the voice calling "Sir" softly rang in his ears one after another.For a while he forgot to smoke. "I finally found a woman like this. She adored me. She wanted to get to know me. She asked me to give her a chance." "She's lovely. Beautiful, of course. She speaks with such tenderness that it hits my heart. She's also very gentle, and warm, without any coyness." "Sickness? That's okay. Love can heal a woman's body." "She is worthy of pity, compassion, and love." "Yes, I should sympathize with her. No, I should still love her. I have an obligation to love her. I want to use love to warm her sad and broken heart. I want to comfort her, encourage her, and make her go positive. , on the happy road." "Why shouldn't you fall in love? Life is too monotonous, the air is too dull, and the environment is too dark. Can't I temporarily sleep in a woman's warm embrace to rest my tired body and prepare for a new struggle?" He discussed with himself for a long time, and finally came to the following conclusion: "If you think you can do it, just do it. Love is completely a matter between two people. Li Jianhong and Gao Zhiyuan have no right to interfere." On the tram he met couples of young men and women who talked very intimately, the women clinging to the men.All the eyes in the car fell on the faces of these couples. He looked at them for a long time, and suddenly said to himself jealously and angrily: "Why can they all do it, but I can't do it alone?" Wu Renmin returned home.He saw Gao Zhiyuan was still lying on the bed talking to Fang Yadan. "How? Did it succeed?" Gao Zhiyuan asked mockingly when he saw him come in with his mouth open, and then hummed a Japanese love song. "Stoics hum love songs," Wu Renmin said to himself instead of answering directly. Gao Zhiyuan didn't say anything, he opened his mouth wide and yawned, his mouth opened so wide, as if he was about to devour a person.Angrily, he stretched out his hand to scratch the bristling hair desperately, and suddenly laughed out loud.After laughing enough, he said slowly: "I have it, that's right: revolutionaries talk about love." "Okay," Fang Yadan also smiled. Wu Renmin blushed and scolded: "What do you know? According to you, human beings should be extinct. Why don't you turn all the people into eunuchs, so that they don't get impulsive when they see women? ... I'm going out , I won't talk to you, a new moralist anymore." After he finished speaking, he really walked outside. "Renmin, come back, I have something to tell you," Fang Yadan called out from behind. "Really, I have something serious to discuss with you." Wu Renmin walked back silently. "Zhiyuan and I have already decided to go to place F, (place F: referring to Fujian leftovers)" Fang Yadan said seriously. "Aren't you going to France?" Wu Renmin asked in surprise. "I have already stated that I will not be an overseas student. Let Zhang Xiaochuan put on airs as an overseas student alone," Fang Yadan said with a sudden crooked face. "I am determined to do practical sports. It is meaningless to be with Jianhong for a long time. He is naturally a good person, but he can't do anything. After getting along with him for a long time, I realized that he is nothing more than that." Fang Yadan said solemnly , he stood up suddenly. "You're kidding me. I know you have always admired him." Wu Renmin still refused to believe it. "Yes, I admired him, even now I still have a good impression of him," Fang Yadan argued vigorously. "But now I see his weakness. He's very prejudiced, he doesn't know people, and he lacks self-confidence. Anyone who reads too much will have this bad book. This thing is harmful." "Besides, Jianhong tried his best to protect Xiaochuan, which is very unfair. No matter what Xiaochuan has become now, Jianhong still believes in him. This is simply indulge in evil." Gao Zhiyuan suddenly jumped off the bed and put his wooden shoes on the ground There was a loud noise on the floor. "Xiao Chuan is getting married, and I heard that an old-style wedding will be held." Fang Yadan said angrily. "Married? With whom?" Wu Renmin asked blankly. "Same as Gong Dewan. The woman is not bad, Jian Hong praised her very much, you have seen her too. The wedding was probably held in Gong Dewan's hometown, and friends from outside would not go to it, and of course they couldn't see the old-style wedding.When they came back here, they randomly printed a card explaining cohabitation and handed it out. Didn’t the wedding be abolished in the eyes of friends?After all, Ogawa has more tricks. "The more Fang Yadan talked, the angrier he became, and he even rolled up his sleeves, as if preparing to fight someone. "Gong Dewan, of course I've met her...but how do you know about the wedding?" Wu Renmin asked again. "That's what Peizhu told me. Jianhong tried to dissuade Xiao Chuan, but it was useless, so he didn't try to persuade him anymore. I'm not happy with Jianhong, that's why. You know I hate the old ethics very much, the old I hate everything. The whole of China has been devastated by it to this extent, and we youths still have to give in to it." Fang Yadan slammed his fist on the table hard as he spoke.The table screamed loudly.Two or three books fell to the floor, and a teacup was overturned. "So I'm going to place F. Now I'm just waiting for my friends in place F to send me the travel expenses. I want to leave Xiaochuan, Jianhong, and their group of nerds." After a pause, he continued: "I'll go, Zhiyuan will go , and two friends are going. In the future, you will follow. We welcome you." Fang Yadan's words were so powerful that even Gao Zhiyuan straightened his square face and listened attentively. "Okay," Wu Renmin agreed vaguely, feeling unspeakable melancholy in his heart.He didn't think about going to F place at this time.