Chapter 6 Chapter Three (Part 1)

Chapter Three (Part 1) At the end of winter, I told X Haiying the following: In the midsummer of 1966, the Cultural Revolution had just started.When I was walking around the campus, I saw my father being paraded through the street by a group of college students.He is probably considered a reactionary academic authority.He was wearing an old Chinese tunic suit and a tall hat made of paper—it could be seen at a glance that the hat was made of a small wastebasket; Iron dustpan; there was a group of people parading the street at that time, and he was neither the first nor the last; the time was about three o'clock in the afternoon; the weather was thin and cloudy.All in all, when I saw him, I smiled at him.After returning home, he beat me up hard, and the punching bag for boxing practice was not so hard.Although I have repeatedly explained that I don't mean anything bad by laughing, it doesn't matter.I was so angry that I gnashed my teeth and vowed to hate him for the rest of my life.But after thinking about it calmly, he revoked the oath again.

For as long as I can remember, my dad has been bald with a big head.He was not considered unlucky during the Cultural Revolution. He was fought once in total and swam once in the street.After that he didn't understand me at all.For example, when I was fifteen, he said: How can this kid grow a beard at such a young age?I laughed at home, and he also expressed emotion: What kind of movement is this?Shoot like a Jap!But my appearance is a bit strange: I haven't been outside the Great Wall to blow the wind, my face is like a piece of sandpaper; I haven't done any heavy work, and my hands are as hard as iron plates.But these things go too far.After my dad beat me up, I decided to hate him at first, but then I thought: He is my dad, and I eat and drink him, how can I hate him?If you want to hate those college students, how can you hate them if they didn't beat me up.Since that day, I haven't hated anyone.Later in the tofu factory, although I wanted to hate the guy who drew nude paintings and caused me countless troubles, I didn't know who he was.After knowing that he is corn bread, I can't hate him at all.

I told X Haiying that I love my dad very much.The reason is not only that he has supported me since I was a child, but also that he beat me every time since I was a child.It's good for me, because when we fight, we always beat each other to tears.And I have never been beaten and cried, as if I have practiced iron cloth shirt and golden bell.As far as I know, to practice horizontal kung fu, you must hit yourself with bricks and sticks.My father came to beat me, which saved me the effort of platooning and beating.Because I love him so much, I always hope that he will fall into the pit, and then I will rescue him.At this time, I have to reprimand him.When I was being helped and taught, I always hoped that X Haiying would fall into the pit one day, so that I could rescue her.But these two walked very carefully and never walked into the ditch, which failed my good intentions.

When teaching, I told X Haiying about my father. After hearing this, she frowned and said nothing, probably thinking that these things were not important.In fact, these words are very important.For those who cannot hate, I can only dissolve hatred with love.I fell in love with her. Regarding my love for X Haiying, I must add the following: This kind of love is very different from the love for Zhan Ba.Zhan Ba, this guy, is always furious when he sees me, but he has nothing to do with me. He looks so cute. To me, he is simply a source of happiness.And X Haiying is a source of pain to me, I always hope that she will fall into the pit.Even so, X Haiying still makes my soul dream.People live in the world, and it is difficult to distinguish between happiness and pain.So I just want it to be genuine.

From January to May of 1974, I chatted with X Haiying in the small office of the tofu factory, hating her to death.In Freud's words, this kind of hatred is also called love-hate intersection, and it gets deeper every day.Later I neither hated her nor loved her, and everyone lived their own lives, but that was for the future. I told X Haiying that since the spring of 1967, the campus where I grew up had many loudspeakers blaring, and everyone was attacking each other.Arguing endlessly, using words but not hands, is quite boring.But after a while, they pinched.For readers who were not born in Beijing, a little explanation is necessary: ​​Cricket fighting is called pinching.At first, they rubbed their wings and made noises, then they rubbed to be provocative, and finally they bit into a ball. They pinched each other, and started a history of civilization from the fists.At first those college students fought like primitive people, then I concluded that the essence of the world is fists, and I had to improve my fighting skills; later they picked stones everywhere.In the autumn, I estimate that the level of weapons has reached the level of ancient Rome: there are armors, knives and guns, catapults, fortifications and towers.At this moment, I joined as an engineer, because I saw that the level of military engineering in one faction was too poor.Their armor is a piece of plywood hung on the front and back, with a portrait of Chairman Mao on it. When they go into battle, they look like a group of eight people standing up.As for the spear in his hand, it is even more outrageous. It is an iron pipe, and a hand saw has been sawed diagonally on the head, making it look like a quill. They drove to the front line in batches, and the opponent pointed their sharp spears at Chairman Mao's men or Yintang on their chests, and stabbed them to death with a light stab.This was really embarrassing, so I ran to teach them to forge armor and sharpen spear points with the lathe knife in the school factory.That kind of turning knife is made of hard alloy, and the sharpened spear is extremely sharp. No matter what kind of armor the opponent is wearing, as long as it is lightly pierced, it will cool the heart.I don't need to tell you, you know that they are liberal arts students, otherwise there is no need to hire a high school student to be an engineer.But it took me only two months to help them, because their struggle entered the age of firearms in the winter. They went to the armed forces to grab guns during the day and shot each other at night.At this stage they still wanted to invite me to participate, but I knew that it was only a small role, so I went home.In my opinion, it is not difficult to make a gun. It is difficult to make ammunition. I need to find a few chemistry books to improve my self-cultivation.Everyone knows what happened later, when the winter is almost over, the higher-ups will not let them fight, because the higher-ups also feel that their evolution is too fast, and if they don't stop it, they will throw atomic bombs at each other and blow up the city of Beijing to the ground.Before that, I did think about reading some books on nuclear physics in order to keep up with the situation.Later, I decided not to read books on this topic, because I don't like physics very much, and I think it's enough to know a general idea. What's really interesting is mathematics.That's what I'm interested in in science.

When I told X Haiying these things, winter was coming to an end, and the wind blowing outside was already warm.If the spring is considered as a year, another year will pass.The help and education in front of me is still far away.I feel like I'm going to spend my whole life in this office.Talking about childhood at this time has a bit of sadness. Besides science, I'm also interested in watching people fight.In the summer of 1967 there were many spear fights where I lived.At that time, I wanted to see it, but I was afraid that someone would stab me, so I climbed up the tree.In fact, no one wanted to stab me. When others passed by, they just asked: "Child, where are the people over there?"I opened the awning to look around, and said: There seems to be a lump hidden in the library.When they really fight, nine times out of ten they are so far apart that they can't be seen clearly.There was only one exception, a fight broke out under the tree where I was staying, and someone was stabbed to death.

Those who fought back then wore blue smocks, wicker hats and goggles like motorcyclists - because throwing lime packets was a common tactic.Everyone had a white towel around their necks, I don't know what the white towels were for, maybe some sort of style.That day, I didn’t see the group of people wearing plywood and holding “picking up a pen to make a knife and gun”, so everyone wore standard armor: assassination protective gear wrapped in iron, and holding a sharp spear.After the ping-pong-pong sounded for a while, a strange cry was heard, and someone was stabbed through.The one-foot-long spear pierced four or five feet into his body, and at least four feet came out from behind.This shows that the person who stabbed the gun used a lot of strength, and it also shows that the armor is too weak.The person who was not pierced screamed strangely and fled beyond the reach of an arrow.Just the hapless guy dropping the gun and spinning on the ground, and me stuck in the tree.He just turned around and said "uh uh" in his mouth.In the summer, I felt cold, and I thought helplessly: Just wait, I can only pronounce vowels, but not consonants.

Then I bit my finger and thought: "Tai Ping Guang Ji" says that An Lushan can do Hu Xuan dance, so that's probably the case.It is said in the book that An Lushan can dance with a copper pot in his hand, but although the person in front of him has no pot in his hand, he has a spear stuck in his body, as if he has four hands, which is similar in terms of magnificence.I thought of something else, but I can't remember it now.Because the man looked up and raised a hand towards me.The face was stretched so long that the eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets, and I could see all the whites of his eyes, plus the ligaments that held them together.The mouth is also wide open, and the teeth are yellow and bright. It seems that they haven't brushed their teeth for a while, and the gaps between the teeth are full of blood.I think his face zigzags and twists three times—then he makes another half turn and goes down.Later, I talked about this incident with X Haiying, and concluded that besides the pain, that person must have felt like waking up from a dream.After hearing this, she asked in a daze: What dream?What wake up?But I dodged the question cunningly and said: I don’t know about this either—I heard that everyone wakes up like a dream when they are dying.

X Haiying and I sat opposite each other in the hut, we had nothing to say, so we started talking about such things.What a dream, wake up, it's not a mystery, but I feel it.Because I think every man has a lot of queer things in his head, and when he gets shot through with a big gun, all the queer things must be gone.I heard that some superstitious women in rural areas think that fox spirits have possessed their bodies, so they talk nonsense about the "Jade Emperor". At this time, take a big needle and stick it through her upper lip, and she will wake up immediately.A single prick of a needle can have such a magical effect, not to mention a big gun pierced from the front to the back?Sometimes I feel that my mind is a little unclear, but I don't want to experience this feeling unless I have to.But that was a long time ago.

When I grew up, I read Freud's book and saw this sentence: In a sense, each of us is a little hysterical.I stopped when I saw this, and was stunned for a long time by the word hysteria.Originally, the word comes from the Greek word for "uterus", but I've never seen that kind of thing, so I can't imagine it.I remembered that when I was twelve years old, I made a power supply that could generate direct current and alternating current of various voltages; then I caught a large number of dragonflies and electrocuted them to death with various voltages.With the difference in voltage and AC/DC, those dragonflies twitch in different ways when they are dying. Some get straighter as they get more electricity, some get more bent when they get more electricity, some try to flap their wings, and some stay still. All in all, there are all kinds of strange things.Therefore, I thought that the people who won the big lottery during the revolutionary period may be dragonflies under the current.

When I was young, I went to catch dragonflies, put all the dragonflies I caught in cages made of iron screens, and then caught them one by one and electrocuted them to death.The dragonflies that were not electrocuted all ignored the dying dragonflies.So I thought, maybe the dragonfly didn't realize that it had won the jackpot until the electric current passed through its body, just like waking up from a dream. 2 When I was six, the sky was purple, people were making steel in the playground, and I cut my arm.Then I was starving to death.Then my teacher said I was a pig.Then my father beat me again for no reason.I endured these things until I was fourteen.It's not an option to endure like this for the rest of my life, so I decided to find my own way out.This way out is wishful thinking.Alice in Wonderland said that everything is getting more and more magical.To dream is to seek the magic. There is something to add about my dad beating me.He was parading through the streets in a tall hat, and I smiled when I saw him; so I got a beating.From this it is easy to draw a conclusion: on that occasion one should have a bitter face.But this conclusion is wrong, because even if you look sad, you will be beaten.The correct conclusion is that when it's time for me to be spanked, I'll be spanked, whether I'm crying or laughing.Since I live in the world, I will be beaten no matter what, so there is no point in doing anything.The only thing that makes sense is to look for the magic. In my experience, everyone who has won some kind of lottery is looking for magic.Take my father, for example. As a professor of literature and history, he always won some small prizes for the rest of his life; either his academic views were criticized, or he was almost labeled as a rightist.After winning the lottery, he never stopped doing some weird things. He either cried bitterly and said that his thoughts had not been reformed, or ran to the party branch with an old face to hand in the application for joining the party.Later he came up with a strange idea, thinking that the reason why he kept losing his lotus color was because he had done something wrong—giving birth to an ugly son with hair all over his face when he was a teenager.Now that you have done something wrong, you have to do something good to make up for it - beat me up.Even in the first half of my life, I always won some small prizes.Because of the excitement of the lottery, I was a little eccentric since I was a child.I've never won the jackpot because the only jackpot is being pierced in the chest.I thought that after winning the lottery, I would do my part, regret it, and so on.But this is nothing more than speculation. When I was young, I was always making various things: I used sewing machine spools and rubber bands to make walking cars, parts from bicycles to make gunpowder guns, and copper skins to make calcium carbide lamps.When it got a little bigger, weirder things were built.For example, I made a steam engine out of the scrap copper and iron I picked up. I only need to burn a few pieces of waste paper under it, and it can run for fifteen minutes.I made a cannon out of tin, and as long as a little gasoline vapor is carefully introduced into the barrel, it will make a loud noise when it is ignited, and it will shoot out tongues of flame and pop out a cork for a thermos bottle.Later, I used a waste steam stove to build a gasoline engine. The structure was ingenious, but its shape was difficult to install on any kind of vehicle, and the noise was thunderous, so I had to move it to the field for a test run.The older I get, the more complicated things I make, but my materials are always scrap metal, because the place where I grew up was nothing but chicken coops.My dad beat me almost every day for making the house look like a dump and because I often didn't do my homework in school.Now, given my time and enough scrap metal, I can build a jet that flies--before it goes very far before falling, of course.If everyone invented things like me, they would be able to create a wonderful new world, or fly to the sky like that chicken.But the space in the house is limited, and there are so many people living there, it cannot accommodate too much scrap metal.For this reason, another way must be found. When I was a child, seeing that rooster take off from the ground, I thought it was a touching scene.When it flapped its wings vigorously, the ground was filled with dust, but this was not the touching part.As a chicken, how could it have the idea of ​​flying into the sky?I think that as long as a chicken has the performance of flying up to the fifth floor, its life is not in vain.I really admire that chicken. During the teaching time, I told X Haiying about these things.She said, you mean you are very capable, don't you.After listening to it, I found it very unpleasant.According to her, I did these things just to show my ability in front of her.But I didn't know you at the time, how could I have such an idea?I know a kind of person who has long hair and big breasts, and who always speaks badly.So I shouldn't be acquainted with them.It's easy to think that way, but it can't be done.Because women are women, you can only see them as they are. After so many years, I came up with another meaning from that sentence.At that time, I had already been stuttered by her, so in addition to mocking me for showing my ability in front of her, she also meant that I was actually impatient.Fortunately, I didn't hear it at the time, otherwise what would happen is really unimaginable. 3 Now I understand what it is to look for magic, that is, once a person wins a negative lottery, he will immediately have a wild fantasy of winning a positive lottery.For example, my father, when he was almost labeled as a rightist, went to hand in an application for joining the party, hoping that the party organization would absorb him in a moment of confusion and win the prize.When he is criticized, he fantasizes that his thinking can be reformed, not only will he not be criticized anymore, but he can criticize others.As for me, once I was hungry and beaten, I mysteriously climbed the stove and invented all kinds of things; I wanted to discover a new world to hide in, or to become a great person.My father and I always win some bad lottery, and we are the same in this respect, except that I am a teenager and come up with more weird things than his old man. During the teaching time, I told X Haiying that I saw a car overturned in 1966. The incident was like this: I was 14 years old in the winter of 1966, and the school was closed. go to town.At that time, the streets were full of cars, all rickety.Some cars were facing east for a while, then west for a while, and suddenly crashed into small shops.That is to say, the driver does not hold the steering wheel.Some cars were driving slowly, suddenly let out a strange noise, emitted a puff of black smoke, and slammed forward.This means that the driver will not be in gear.Some cars swayed here and there for a while, and slammed forward for a while.That is to say, there is neither rotation nor gear.I stood in the middle of Chang'an Avenue and watched these cars, and thought it was very funny. If a car slammed into me, I would jump to the side like a football goalkeeper.One day when I was in the Nanchizi area, I saw a car passing by like flying, turned a corner at an intersection ahead, and overturned.Maybe it fell on the fuel tank, and it caught fire immediately.Starting from the middle of the car, it burned into a big fireball immediately.Tires, paint, black smoke billowing, very nice. Later, I could also drive, and I couldn't figure out how to drive a big truck on flat ground.Unless it is pressed against a curb, or one side of the tire is underinflated.That is to say, the driver can't even pump his gas.But that was later.I sprinted towards the overturned car, but I couldn't get close to the flames.After a while, the fire went out (this means that there was not much fuel in the fuel tank), only to find that there were three people in the compartment.They are all burnt to crispy and crispy. If it is roasted quail, the aroma should come out at this moment.By the way, I'm pretty good at roasting quail.Hearing this incident made X Haiying disgusted.And she said I wasn't thinking right--I don't mourn at all when good people are being burned.In my conscience, I wanted to mourn, but I couldn't mourn.Mourning is something that cannot be forced.I just find it interesting.For me, the revolutionary period was a negative period.I can only be happy when I see someone else winning a lottery bigger than me. In addition to roasting quail, I am also good at making slingshots.In fact, it is not comprehensive to say that I am good at making slingshots. I love and am good at making all kinds of catapult machinery.In the autumn of 1967, the campus where I lived was severely beaten, and various groups of people divided up to occupy the building. After occupying the building, the residents were expelled, the next wall was broken through, wooden boards were nailed to the windows, and the gaps in the boards were repaired. A large slingshot that shoots bricks is on the shelf.This is also a kind of catapult machine, and the ballista on the wall of ancient Rome, and the catapult on the head of the city-state of Greece are the same thing.I'm madly in love with this stuff, and all the sages I love - Euclid, Archimedes, Michelangelo, da Vinci - all built it.But the slingshots made by those college students are so bad that they can't even be said to be "made".This really made me feel uncomfortable, so one day, the gang of "Pick up a pen as a knife and a gun" rushed to the upstairs of our house and drove out all the residents.This dormitory building is not in the key area of ​​the school, and it is not particularly strong. If you don't take me into consideration, there is no need to occupy it.On the other hand, it was a time of war and chaos, and my family didn't let me go out.After they come, I can participate in the battle without going out.But no one in my family noticed it. They just moved to a small bungalow in the neutral zone honestly, leaving me to watch things.The so-called neutral zone is an abandoned warehouse full of people whose homes have become strongholds for fighting. Hundreds of men and women live in a big house with only a water pipe at the door and a skylight above their heads.People from all factions live together and quarrel constantly.There is still a strong smell of fart and belch under that roof, which will never come out.I didn't go to live there, but stayed in that dormitory building, and I was very happy afterwards. There is something to add about both of these things.When the previous incident happened, the sky in Beijing was gray, with morning fog in the morning and night fog in the evening—this is an inevitable phenomenon in a coal-burning metropolis in winter.There was frozen frost on the pavement, like the hard oil on the surface of mutton soup when it was cold.At that time, the wide roads in Beijing were full of cars driving crookedly, like a bumper car park in an amusement park.There are many people on the sidewalk, crowded.All of a sudden, a passerby's hat would fly into the sky, hop over everyone's heads like a kangaroo, and then disappear.Some people say that this is because there are too many people, and some unscrupulous thieves use this method to steal people's hats, but I don't think that is the case, at least not all of them.I've also occasionally ripped off people's hats and thrown them into the sky - purely out of humor.When the latter incident happened, all the upstairs windows in our campus were gone, leaving only some black holes.From some of the holes, the heads of people wearing rattan hats occasionally appeared.On the roof there are fortifications made of tables, chairs and benches. In the middle of the fortifications are rolled iron nets. Those iron nets used to surround the volleyball court to block the ball.It is said that it is safe to stay behind the net because bricks cannot penetrate.The whole campus is like a big cockroach nest.What these two periods have in common is that many loudspeakers are shouting at the top of their lungs, and many people have died.But I don't mourn at all.It is a miracle that the era I like suddenly came to this world.Our house has become a nest of cockroaches, and no one will dislike my scrap metal.Nothing could be more gratifying than that.As for how big a disaster it is to others, can I, a teenager, control it? 4 When I was a child, I thought about being an inventor, as if there was a magic in creating inventions that could make people fly off the ground.For this reason, I first studied mathematics and then Double E.But now I find it doesn't have that magic at all.No matter what you invent, you are still yourself.All its magic is to enable you to build a catapult that kills people.But this skill will not matter.When I was little, I didn't play with girls. I avoided them like the plague.But I am also married now, and I often have a bad relationship with my wife.This shows that I have grown up.When I was young, my view of life was like this: no matter when and where, we are all participating in a game, and the one who gets the highest score according to the rules of the game wins, and there is no other purpose.Specifically, this belief is often true, except during periods of bad smell.For example, when you go to school, you get high marks from the teacher, when you play, you get high marks from the referees, and when you come to the United States, you earn money with these marks, and so on.But in general, I don't see anything right yet, because the rules keep changing for me.It would be the same as having no rules if there were no general rules. Now I think, I lost a lot because of the catapult and my boyish fantasies.If you are not obsessed with these things, you can do many other things well.If the general rule of the game is to build a complex machine, then I scored quite a few points when I was sixteen.But if the rule is not like this, but the number of times you have sex with a woman wins, then I have lost too much.But no one knows what the general rules of the game are.The idea of ​​this general rule is philosophy. When I grew up and lived to be thirty-five years old, I went to the United States to study abroad.Sometimes I have money, sometimes I have no money, so I go to work in restaurants.Normally, I always wash the dishes in the kitchen. This is because I have a little stutter, and it is not the kind of "back stammer", nor the kind of "middle stammer", but the front stutter, unable to speak a word, stunned, saying Especially in English.In the kitchen I ran into a chef whose life's work was buying lottery tickets.As a student who has studied mathematics for six years, of course I can calculate probability problems like the Mark Six lottery; it's a pity that I can't explain it to the chef after I calculate it.Whenever it was time to decide what numbers to buy, the chef became very mysterious. Sometimes he went to Fuhu Temple in New York to pray for incense and worship Buddha, and sometimes he wrote to the prince in Dallas asking him to give it to him. A hexagram.Sometimes he asked me to provide a set of numbers, not even pi, so I ran to the street to copy the license plate of the car.This kind of thing has a certain degree of danger. If I copy it, a few black men will jump out of the car, yelling and rushing towards me, asking me to tell why I copied their brand.In this case, instead of stopping to explain that there is a Chinese chef who needs these numbers, I run away and climb up the building when I see a drainpipe on the side of the road.Fortunately, none of these people were gymnasts, and no one was carrying a gun.I don't need to tell you about this kind of thing, you can know that Bi Lao Lu wants to catch me to death.So I kept explaining to the chef that there is no secret in the lottery; if there is a secret, it is not for me to know.But he refuted me with just one sentence: If there is really no trick, how can I believe that there is a trick?Just because this argument cannot be refuted, it is useless to say anything else.For example, I said: If I can copy the next lottery lottery just by copying the license plate, why don’t I buy the next lottery lottery?He replied: who knows why you don't buy it?I'm about to stutter before.In his opinion, those who won the lottery must have discovered some kind of trick and made a lot of money.Of course, no one is willing to tell such a trick.Besides, it won't work if you say it.Maybe this kind of know-how is seen in the phone book, or dreamed about in sleep.Maybe it's not having sex for a year, or having sex before buying a lottery ticket.Others say that the trick is to eat the wife's menstrual paper (of course, burn it to ashes and eat it).He also said that he had tried the last one, but it didn't work.This surprised me: Seeing that his hair is all white, why does his wife still have menstruation?After thinking about it, who knows whose paper he ate and how it came from.When I think about it, I feel disgusting.When we eat together, I don't move any dish that he has touched the chopsticks. Until I went back to China, the chef also wrote to ask me to go to the street to pick up a few scrap bus tickets and send them to him.But I thought, I don’t need to work in that restaurant anymore, and I don’t need to flatter him anymore, so I didn’t do this for him.But these are very later things.The most serious problem at that time was that the chef had bought the Mark Six lottery all his life, and he was completely obsessed, and he was my immediate boss.Because I couldn't tell him bluntly, you are an idiot, so I didn't explain it until I returned to China. People in our family said that when I was young, besides climbing the furnace wall, I did many other stupid things—for example, climbing a tree and breaking my leg, playing with a slingshot and killing a neighbor’s chicken, and fleeing to Xishan to hide for three days before returning etc.But I can't remember anything.As far as I can see, there is nothing wrong with these things.I think there is a wonderful new world in the blast furnace, and I have my own reasons: If there is nothing in the blast furnace, how can I have such an idea?Such an idea can't be called stupid at all, it can only be said to be a little immature.I was twelve years old at the time, which was much better than being in my fifties and still eating menstrual paper.Later, the chef I knew also knew that eating that kind of food would not help winning the Liuhe lottery, but he still wanted to make his face swollen and fat, saying that the thing was called red lead, which was the material for alchemy in the inner family. Full supplement.I also know that there is a thing called "human yellow" in traditional Chinese medicine. It is said that eating it can strengthen the stomach-that is feces.But I dare not make such a suggestion, lest he and I be anxious.He later changed his game and went to the Atlantic Casino to play roulette. He could lose all his monthly wages in one night.In my opinion this is more normal.But he soon lost his mind, thinking that he could invent a winning roulette method, and often put salt that could kill an old buffalo when cooking.And I was recommended by him to be a waiter at the front desk—you know, I like to wear black leather clothes, so a few weird girls always come to my stage to eat, and they give a lot of tips, the boss said I have a cold Hua, fired me with him.In fact, I am completely innocent in this matter. I wear black clothes as a child. I always climb trees and climb houses, and black clothes are always dirty.Although a girl kept asking me if I was an S or an M, I didn't understand these things at all. Later, I went to the special collection department of the school library to find a few books and read them to understand what is S and what is M. When I met that girl again, I told her: I have a bit of S and a bit of M.I, like everyone born during the Revolution, was half-sadist and half-masochist, depending on whom I met.She was dumbfounded when she heard this, as if I had said something stupid.When I first arrived in the United States, I made this kind of mistake all the time. I went to the gas station and asked where I got gas (air), but instead asked where I got ass (ass).But not that time.I mean it. Now I live to forty years old.Counting the inventions from the age of nine to the age of forty, there are simply too many inventions to count.A recent invention is a kind of stockings, which are impregnated with iron powder and halides. When the packaging is torn off, it will heat up for forty-eight hours. After the heat is over, it will be a pair of ordinary stockings.I thought I could solve the problems of being afraid of the cold and loving beauty in one fell swoop.I handed over this invention to a township factory for production, and then I kept receiving complaints, saying that when my wife put on my socks in the morning, she was a complete East Asian yellow, and when she took them off at night, her lower body became black. .This is because the factory used expired ink to dye the socks black. It cannot be said that my invention is not good.I still maintain the nature of loving inventions, but I no longer believe that inventions can turn things around—in other words, making inventions can't win the lottery. When I grew up, I got married and went to America to study abroad.I studied mathematics in China, but after going out, I found mathematics boring, so I registered in the Department of Computer Science and the Department of DoubleE (let's call it Radio).My wife is a student of party history. After going out, she found party history boring, so she changed it to P·E, which we call sports.Besides going to school, we had to earn money to live.My wife has found her lifelong career by going to the gym to give people exercises, and now doing ten exercises a day is too little.She said that besides eating and sleeping, she wanted to have sex and stand in front of a large group of people.And I write software for others.I didn't know until I arrived in the United States that I had to earn money if I wanted to live.Originally earning money is a very boring thing, but I think of it as very romantic. The first time I got a software editing job from the department, I thought: Good!Finally, I have a chance to display my talents!I have much to add on this point.Ever since I grew up, I've had a lot of trouble.At first I wanted to be a painter, but I was colorblind.Later, when I became a graduate student in the Department of Mathematics, the title of my dissertation given by my supervisor was to elucidate Marx's "Mathematical Manuscripts".Although I also racked my brains to write more than 150 pages, but what I wrote, the instructor must not remember now.I can't remember either.I can't find the typed manuscript now, nor can I find the handwritten manuscript.So writing this thesis is the same as not writing it, killing a lot of my brain cells in vain.In short, I've never had a real job, unless you call making tofu a job.But no matter what kind of tofu you make, it will turn into manure after eating, and it will not become a diamond.The above description is to explain why I was so excited when I got the job.Although it is a large-scale software, several people co-edited it, but I think it is better to show that I am better than others.The more I think about it, the more confused I become, and I can't write a line of source code.So I said to my wife, when you go out, lock me in the house.I'm such a pervert, but my wife doesn't realize it at all. Ability to focus while locked in the house.So the first batch of software I edited was very poetic. Empress Li has a word cloud: He Quan pecks at the broken parrot grains.In terms of twists and turns and elasticity, my software has reached the state of this sentence.The master of the latter has another fragmented sentence: "The drizzle flows wet light."我的软件就有这么简约，别人编十行，我只用一行。等到交活时，教授看了吃一惊：这么短！能跑（run）吗？我说你试试嘛。试完了他和我握手道：谢谢！但是到了开支时，我的钱比别人都少。原来是按行算钱，真把我气死了。等到交第二批软件时，我就吃棉花屙线屎。古诗云： 一个和尚独自归，关门闭户掩柴扉。我的第二批软件到了这种境界。简言之，别人编一行，我就编了二十行。等到交活时，教授根本不问能不能run，只说：你这是捣蛋！就打回来让我改短。资本主义就是这么虚伪。等到拿了学位，我毫不犹豫就回国来。这是因为我从骨子里来说是个浪漫诗人，作画时是个颜色诗人，写程序时是个软件诗人。干瘪无味的资本主义社会哪里容得下浪漫诗人。 5 在美国时，我想干DoubleE就干DoubleE，想干Computer就干Computer，而且还能挣些钱，但是还是不快活，最起码没有六七年我在自己家里造投石机时快活。那时我们家的门窗都被打掉，墙上也打了好几个大窟窿。而我戴了个木匠的皮围裙，耳朵上架了支红蓝铅笔，正在指挥十几个大学生拆家具制造防御器械。在工程方面谁都不如我，所以大家公推我负责。这件事我爸爸知道了一定要揍我，因为拆的就是我们家的家具，虽然我已年登不惑，他也过了随心之年，并且在偏瘫之中，但是我认为他积习难改。等到上级制止了武斗，他回家来一看，只见家里的一切都荡然无存，书房里却多了一架古怪的机器：从前头看，像法国造的断头机，从后面看像台龙门刨床，有滑轨，有滑块，最前面还装了架气象站偷来的风速仪。底下还用水泥打了地基，拆都拆不走，真把他气死了。那就是我造的投石机，是世界上一切同类机器里最准确的一台。但是那上面有好多部件是我们家的家具。损失了门窗，家具我爸爸还不心疼，因为那是公家的。他的藏书也丢了不少，这些东西是他让我看着的。我告诉他，人家拿着刀枪，想借咱家的书看，我敢管吗？他觉得我说的有道理。其实满不是这样，我当时忙得很，把让我看着的东西全忘了。而且我还想道：这个楼是老子的了，老子怎么想就是王法。凭什么我该给你守着东西？ 现在我想，批判资本主义也不能昧了良心，现代社会里哪儿都容不下太多的诗人。就如鸡多了不下蛋，诗人多了没有饭吃。这是因为真正的诗人都是捣蛋鬼。六七年秋天，“拿起笔做刀枪”冲到我们家里来时，我帮着把家里的东西搬到中立区以后，留下看守房子。转眼之间我就和他们合为一股，在我们家的墙上凿洞，并且亲手把每一块窗玻璃都打掉。当然，我也有我的道理，假如不把玻璃打掉，等到外面飞进来的砖头把它打碎，破片就会飞起来伤人。然后再把窗洞用桌椅堵起来，屋里马上就变得很黑。照我看这还黑得不够，还要用墨汁把里面的墙涂黑。只用了半天的时间，我们那座楼里面就黑得像地狱。当然这样干也有这样的道理，假如有人从外面冲进来，就会觉得眼前一黑。在他的瞳孔放大到足以看清屋里的东西之前，我们可以用长矛在他身上扎十几个大洞。这些措施只是把我们住的房子改造成一个白蚁窝的第一步。到了冬天，这座楼上连一片完整的瓦都没有了。一楼每一个窗口都被焊的栅栏堵得严严实实，上面还有密密麻麻朝外的枪头，一个个比刀子还快。所有的楼道门洞都被堵得炸都炸不开，另有一些纵横交错的窟窿做为通道，原来的住户不花三天三夜绝找不到自己原来住的地方。后来要把它恢复成原样，又花了比盖这座楼的建筑费还要多的修缮费。从这一点你就能知道“拿起笔做刀枪”为什么后来要倒大霉。而这一切都是我的主意。我一个诗人就造成了这么大的灾难，假如遍地都是，那还得了吗？但是不做诗人，我又不能活。所以到底怎么办，这是问题。