Chapter 7 Chapter Three (Part 2)

Chapter Three (Part 2) 6 I read Mark Twain's Connecticut Americans in Arthur's Dynasty as a kid and wanted to be ancient.If I could choose, I'd rather live in ancient Greece, or in ancient Rome.Then you have the opportunity to do what you want to do.Back then people were free to invent their own machinery - I don't remember Archimedes getting a beating from his dad for inventing a waterwheel.This means that I shouldn't be born in the modern age - I am an ancient man of the present.I am Archimedes and I am Michelangelo.I have nothing to do with what's in front of me.

When I was "helped and taught" in the tofu factory, I still felt that I was an ancient person, but my taste has changed a little.I can also imagine that if X Haiying's rubber menstruation was brought to the hands of the slingshot infantry in ancient Rome, it would be regarded as a treasure.And how great it would be if the triangular scraper we used to scrape the bearing bushes could be sent to ancient Greece and put on a spear end.At the same time, I was chased around by Lao Lu, and I had to be helped and taught by X Haiying. I didn't look like an ancient person at all.Most of all, I no longer believe in miracles.As the saying goes, times make heroes.Gone are the days of rowdy heroes.

When I think of the heroic age in the past, it always starts with these two things - the car that overturned in 1966 and the big slingshot in 1967, like two stone lions at the gate of a large courtyard. yard.I told X Haiying about these two things, and she didn't understand their importance at all, because she is not an ancient person.In the autumn of 1967, I climbed into the laboratory building along the drainpipe.At that time, sixty or seventy people from the "Pick up a pen to make a knife and gun" group squatted inside, without water, electricity, food or drink, and outside was besieged on all sides, and many loudspeakers were broadcasting "Urging to pick up a pen to make a knife and gun surrender statement".I told them that although the building where my family lived looked inconspicuous, it was a great fighting base because there were several trenches underneath.Among them are heating trenches, cable trenches for power transmission, and even drilled into sewers.You can drill down to Haidian Town along the trench to buy fried dough sticks.So they broke through in the middle of the night and ran to our building.If they don't occupy the dormitory building, no one will occupy the dormitory building, because there are no military targets here.As soon as they came, all the people came one after another, occupied all the dormitory buildings, and surrounded them in the core, because they were military targets.Taking this incident as an opportunity, that large dormitory building later became a cockroach nest.Speaking of this incident, I am complacent and have a sense of accomplishment.But X Haiying was frowning, facing my muddled thoughts, and didn't know how to "help and teach".

When I told X Haiying about this, I looked up at her and saw her hair was yellow in the afternoon sun.This shows that nothing has a fixed color. To say what color it is, the light at that time must be included.She had a rounded chin, and an expression of admonishment on her face.This expression reminds me of my teacher who looked like fruits and vegetables when I was young.At that moment I hated her to the bone.She and I are clearly two kinds of animals, just like cats and dogs, they are feuds.But she suddenly smiled at me and said, "Go on."At this moment, I felt hot again in my heart, and I had a very nasty feeling, as if I was grateful to her for taking a villain like me seriously.This shows that there is slavery in people like me.

When "Pick up a pen and make a knife and gun" came into our building, he was wearing a rattan hat and his whole body was white, like some flour workers.In addition, they also had the pungent smell of quicklime, and some had bruises on their foreheads, as if they had been hit by a brick.This shows that they were intercepted on the way.Later, when people talked about this group of people, they all said that they were very bad. They broke into the homes of peaceful residents and kicked them out. If they were not like the Nazi SS, at least they were like Stalin’s grain requisition team.In fact, that group of people is the most gentle and refined.If there are girls present, don't speak foul language.If I don't eat at mealtime, they don't eat.If the female students did not eat, the men would not eat.There was a soldier who didn't eat it, and the leader refused to eat it.Besides, every single one of them used toilet paper and never ate wild shit.So they are not like a fighting team, but like a group of English gentlemen.I like these people very much, and my liking for them has never changed with time.But later on, this group was the most unlucky in the whole school, because at the end of the Cultural Revolution, when the general accounts were calculated, it was found that this insignificant faction killed the most people and destroyed the most things.So their leader was taken and put in prison, and all of them were sent to the country, and none of them stayed in the city.This means that all of them have to live in places without electricity, and three meals a day will become a big problem.This shows that anyone I like will be unlucky, and all the qualities I like are not good qualities.

Now I think of picking up a pen and making a knife and a gun, but I can't figure out why they want to fight.It is not enough to say that it is for doctrine or thought.It wouldn't be quite right to say that they, like me, fought wars in search of magic—wars were my fifteen-year-old game, and they weren't fifteen.Some may be for doctrine, some for ideas, and some for seeking magic. All kinds of motives are mixed together, just like a drunken vomit, a mess.You can't figure out why you pick up a pen to fight with a gun, just as you can't tell from the vomit of a drunk man what he ate.

Now it's time to tell how my climbing the furnace wall ended.When I was thirteen years old, I finally climbed over the furnace tube and entered the clay blast furnace.There was still nothing in there.Except for a pile of bricks, next to which was a straw mat, and next to the straw mat was a used condom that looked like a fish maw.It contained something like jelly.Although I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was at the time, I could guess some.There was something in there that reminded me of the essence of myself I saw in the wound when I was six years old - a wet quilt cover.Since then, my outlook on life has become truly pessimistic.From that day on, even if I won a huge negative lottery, I would not have any fantasies about winning a positive lottery.

The so-called wet quilt thing goes like this: When I wake up in the morning, I feel like there is a pile of Vaseline in my underwear, sticky to my penis, like butter on a bicycle axle.Then I started to feel dazed, thinking of dreaming about girls' breasts and asses.But how breasts and ass can lead to these things is still not understood.I don't like this state. About the wet quilt cover and what happened to me later, I didn't tell *I didn't tell X Haiying about the wet quilt cover and what happened to me later.The latter is because I don't have the ability to foresee the future, and the former is because I don't think it's right to say these things to girls.Later she said to me: You are so dirty!Now she is Zhan Ba's wife, I don't know if she thinks Zhan Ba ​​is dirty.

With regard to philosophy, I now think like this: it has many problems, ontological problems, epistemological problems, and so on.But for the Chinese, there is only one question that is most important, and that is whether there are so-called magical secrets in the world—the secrets of buying the Mark Six lottery, the secret of alchemy, the secret of flying off the ground, and the secret of running into heaven on earth.If you say no, how can I believe it has?If you say yes, why can't I see it?But ever since I climbed over that furnace chimney, I no longer believe in any tricks.Like everyone else, I have to love those I hate, earn money to eat, start a family, and support a family; in short, unless a miracle happens, more suffering than happiness, but miracles never happen.I tried my best, but found nothing magical.There are only negative colors in this world, no positive colors.When I say I am a pessimist, I mean this kind of thinking.