Chapter 4 Chapter Two (Part 1)

Chapter Two (Part 1) 1 After returning from the United States, I went to work in an artificial intelligence research institute.Half of the people in this institute are from liberal arts, such as Chinese, philosophy, and so on.The other half are studying science, mathematics, physics, and so on.These people's understanding of artificial intelligence, except for its acronym "AI", there is no consistency.They argued when they met, and I stayed silent.If they come to ask me for my opinion, I will say: What you say makes sense, and you have learned a lot from it.Now they are discussing to change the name of the institute. One group plans to change the name to "Institute of Human Intelligence", and the other group plans to change the name to "Institute of Advanced Intelligence". changed to.Come to ask for my opinion, and I will say: everything is fine.In fact, I only barely know what "AI" is, and I don't know what "human intelligence" is at all, let alone what "advanced intelligence" is.In my opinion, it should be something magical.And I've known for a long time that magic doesn't exist.But this does not prevent me from going to work in a research institute called wisdom or advanced intelligence every morning, and sitting quietly in the office.This is called playing deep.But when I think that I should have wisdom, or advanced intelligence, I feel very troubled.The only thing that can make me excited is to put on work clothes and help the reference room move.The reference room is always moved from the first floor to the fifth floor, and then from the fifth floor to the first floor, and it takes two weeks each time.I'm going to move again when I'm done with work, so I haven't seen it open.I was the first to move, sweating profusely, and I didn't feel cheated at all, even though I moved for nothing.

When someone stretches out his hand towards Wang Er, his right hand will reach out to grab the opponent's wrist (involuntarily), no matter how fast the opponent hides, this catch will never fail.This is because when Wang Er was young, he liked to grab others' wrists too much when he fought with others, and he fought too much.Now Wang Er is not a child anymore, no one wants to fight with Wang Er, but if someone stretches out his hand unexpectedly, he can't help but want to catch him, no matter who it is.He knew that nine times out of ten he would have his hand chopped off if he made that mistake in Saudi Arabia, so he tried to refrain from doing it.The most recent episode happened three years ago. At that time, Wang Er was studying in the United States. He had no money and went to a restaurant to wash dishes. A Thai waitress came to pick up the dishes and took a stack of unwashed dishes.At that time, his right hand flew out and grabbed his wrist.Although Wang Er let go after only a few tenths of a second and told her that these things were not done yet, so she could do something else, but the whole night Miss Thailand was flirting with Wang Er, and she asked her to come back after work. Take his car home.According to a lady he knew well, Wang Er said that this was so fast that he couldn't see it, and it seemed to be electrified. When he took it, his heart was beating wildly, and his whole body was numb.The children who played with Wang Er when they were young each had their own problems. Some of them liked to pinch other people's necks, and some liked to kick others in the crotch.

In the tofu factory, when everyone felt that Wang Er's crime had been committed, he also lost confidence in himself.But Zhan Ba ​​always encouraged Wang Er, saying that he could think of another way.Later he put forward a specific suggestion, asking Wang Er to go to X Haiying.Wang Er said that he didn't even know there was X Haiying.He said no, this person has been here before.This is even more strange, the name sounds like a girl's name, and no woman has ever come to the soymilk grinding tower.After Zhan Ba ​​reminded her repeatedly, Wang Er remembered that one day in autumn, a woman came up, wearing an old military uniform and a pair of rubber boots, and crawled in through the hole they called the door.In winter, they block the door with cotton curtains.There are also several holes in this house called windows, which are covered with plastic sheeting.In the middle of the house there was a big tall water tank where they soaked the beans.In addition, there are mills for grinding soybean milk, electric motors and other things that should be there.That day Wang Er was standing leaning against the wall with his hands under his armpits, thinking about something in his mind.People who come see it with their eyes, but they don’t see it with their hearts.According to Zhan Ba, Wang Er often suffered from this kind of problem, his eyes stared blankly, he was dumbfounded, and when he spoke, he answered irrelevant questions.For example, he asked Wang Er, "Will you go or should I go to knock the pipes in the liaison workshop?"Anyone can answer, but Wang Er yelled.So when someone talked to Wang Er, what he answered was really a mystery—he didn't want to know the answer either.She walked around the room a few times, then walked up to Wang Er and reached out to press the switch.Fortunately, Wang Er was in a daze and didn't fall asleep, so he grabbed her.If she had pushed the button, it would have ended badly.In this way, the screw elevator will start rumbling, and the soybeans will rush up and be poured into the water tank, while Zhan Ba ​​is washing the silt at the bottom of the tank.The sink was narrow and deep, and it was not easy to pick people out from the inside.In fact, Wang Er was just standing there watching the switch, he shouldn't have let Haiying approach him at all, and he was also responsible for such a thing.But this guy just said to her with a straight face: Don't move around when you enter the workshop, and then let her go.At the same time, Zhan Ba ​​heard noises outside and shouted, "Wang Er, what the hell are you doing?"This is no joke!For a person like Wang Er, it is impossible for people to entrust their lives to him and feel at ease.As soon as she heard that she was in trouble, she quickly slipped away.So even if Wang Er met her once, he didn't remember much about her appearance.I just remember that the face is very ordinary, but the figure is very good.Later, he also told Zhan Ba ​​that there is a kind of person who thinks he is the leader of XX, and presses the switch randomly wherever he goes.This kind of person is called "pull on the belly, pretending to be a double X".Of course, these Xs all refer to genitalia, one X is female genitalia, and two Xs refer to male genitalia.The style of Wang Er's daily language can be seen from this.Zhan Ba ​​said, it was this person, she was a technician from the new assignment, and now she is the party secretary.He also said that people like Wang Er who have made mistakes must quickly approach the organization to have a way out.Wang Er was twenty-two years old at the time, just the right age to deal with the Communist Youth League.If you can be included in the aid and education objects of the Communist Youth League, you can not go to labor reform.At the very least, the factory had to wait for the Communist Youth League to announce that the teaching aid was invalid before sending Wang Er away.In this regard, he can still help Wang Er, because he is still a member of the Youth League branch.Wang Er thought this would be a way to save his life, so he asked Zhan Ba ​​to ask for him.I didn't have much hope at first, but there was an echo immediately.The Haiying climbed up the tower and told Wang Er that Wang Er was welcome to join the organization.From now on, Wang Er is a backward young man, and he should report to her every Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon.From now on he is free to go down to the ground, and she guarantees his safety.She also said that the factory wanted to send Wang Er to a study class, but she firmly blocked her.She said she was sure of reforming Wang Er.When she came, Wang Er was relieved.First, now there is finally a chance of survival.Second, after beating Zhanba, he felt guilty all the time.Now he knows this guy deserves to be shot.If he hadn't betrayed Wang Er, how would X Haiying know that Wang Er was urinating in an iron bucket on the roof because he was besieged by Lao Lu.

The first time I went to see X Haiying, she said to me: From now on, you don't have to pee in the iron bucket anymore.I immediately thought that Zhan Ba ​​told X Haiying about how I peed, but no one told me how she peed.It made me feel like I was being fooled.Actually knowing how I pee wasn't enough to fool me.But if she knows everything about me and I know nothing about her, I will be fooled in the end.The trouble with me is that, as soon as I see the possibility of being fooled, I feel that I have been fooled. If I were asked to draw X Haiying, I would draw her as shown in the murals in Egyptian tombs, with her feet and hands spread apart, like a two-legged ruler for drawing.This is because her appearance is very similar to the figures in the tomb paintings of ancient Egypt.The ancient Egyptians never painted the frontal portrait of a person, but always painted the profile, the whole body, and seemed to be walking.But when those people walk, they stretch out which hand when they step on which leg, which is commonly known as Lashun.People in ancient Egypt probably walked like this, so there were people from Lasun everywhere along the Nile River at that time.

2 When I was young, I ran away from home and saw a purple sky and various strange scenes.Afterwards, these sights disappeared for a while—I don't know whether it flew into the sky or sank to the ground.It's sad to lose these sights.When I grow up a bit, I like to climb into the sky like a monkey and like to dig holes like a mouse.I'm not sure if I want to get those missing scenes back, so I have to ask a psychologist to analyze it.When I dig a cabbage cellar at home in autumn, I often take the shovel away and take it to the back of the school's nursery to dig my own secret cave.But these secret caves later became places for wild children to eat wild shit, and I am a bit of a clean freak, so I don't want the holes where other people have shit.So I was always searching and searching for holes to hide, and each hole was not too deep.It is more convenient to climb to the sky, because few people have the ability to put shit into the sky.I've had so much success with it that the whole schoolyard of kids admits that Wang Er is the world's best at climbing trees on walls.But no matter whether I go to heaven or go to earth, I can't get back the ecstasy I experienced when I was six years old.

When I was young, there was a small blast furnace in a corner of our courtyard, about seven or eight meters high, and it was a brick tube.I think it used to have some other equipment on it, but it's gone.When I was eight or nine years old, it only had a slogan written on it: the small blast furnace must be restored.Presumably it was written by a certain college student to express his Don Quixote-like determination.This slogan gave me a little hope that if I could just get inside, I would find something.It's a pity that someone blocked the furnace door with tree stumps.If I can get it out of the way, I can get in.Unfortunately I don't have that much energy.Tried and tried, like a mayfly shaking a tree.And climbing the seven or eight meter high wall is not within my power.I tried my best but could only climb to a height of three or four meters, and then I climbed lower and lower. It was because I didn't have enough to eat and my physical strength refused to grow with age.

I felt that the wall was unfathomably high, as if I could never climb it.This is the brick tube of the earthen blast furnace—although it only surrounds a few square meters, I feel that there is a magical world inside; if I can see it, I can solve all the mysteries in my chest.In fact, I don't lack climbing skills, but I lack endurance. I often climb to the distance of only an arm from the mouth of the barrel and fall at the end of my strength. The bricks have worn out the skin on my chest, and the pain is almost crazy.In my opinion, all the suffering in the world cannot be compared with it.But I still want to climb over that wall.One day my brother saw me making this futile effort and asked me what I was doing.I said I wanted to look inside.He laughed for a long time, and then kicked away the tree stump blocking the furnace door, and let me go in and have a look.There is a messy pile of bricks inside, and there is a lot of wild shit on the bricks.This shows that many people have entered before me.Notwithstanding the definite evidence that there was nothing in this shaft, I still believe that things would have been different had I climbed in instead of my brother kicking the stump out of the door.So when I got out of the stove, I asked him to move the tree stump back to its original place.That's how I climbed the wall of a blast furnace when I was a kid.

I was about nine to eleven or twelve years old when I climbed the furnace shaft.At the age of forty, I found that I didn't have the indomitable determination to do anything later; and nothing I did later was as stupid as that one.There is no benefit to climbing the stove, it can only bring unforgettable pain, but I still want to climb.This probably means that the more stupid you do, the more determined you will be.It also shows that I like to fool myself, but I don't like being fooled by others. 3 Later Wang Er often went to X Haiying's office and sat on the chair in front of her desk.He felt like a stuck fly there.She asked Wang Er some things, sometimes he answered honestly, sometimes he just thought about it and forgot to answer her.One of the reasons for this is that Wang Er grinds his butt there—everyone is familiar with the feeling of grinding his butt—and when the bottom grinds, the top will lose his soul, which is natural.Another reason is that Wang Er suffers from hemorrhoids, which hurts under his buttocks.In the past, when Diderot got otitis media, he used wild ideas to relieve the pain.Of course, this method is very outdated. It was fashionable at that time to learn a quotation from Chairman Mao.But when he thought that his pain was almost in his ass, he felt that it was a kind of sacrilege to use Chairman Mao's quotations to relieve pain.Besides, he had little faith in the therapy at all.When Wang Er was in a daze, he was neither pretending to be lofty, nor deliberately resisting.To be in a daze is to be in a daze.But this is difficult for the X Seahawks to explain clearly.Wang Er sat in her office for an entire afternoon.He didn't say a word, just stared at her face.Yingyingchuochuo heard her tell him to confess the bad things he had done, and threatened to send him to a study class.Later, seeing that Wang Er was completely unresponsive, he asked him what was going on in his mind.All you get is a low guttural noise in your throat.To be honest, this is the biggest problem encountered by workers on the ideological front.You said it out of your mouth, but the other party didn't say a word, how can you know whether you said it or not?Therefore, it is best to install a large-screen color TV on top of each person's head, and then implant electrodes into his brain nerves to display all his thoughts on the top, which is clear at a glance. X Haiying has a dark complexion. When Wang Er stared at her face, what he thought was: How can I draw a face like this so that others will know that I am not a black person?If she had seen this from the top of Wang Er's head, she would have swooped over and made a fuss.

X Haiying's office is a small east wing, the floor is covered with worn square bricks.Sitting in this house, you can see the square pillars, the corner of another house, and half of the eaves, which shows that the predecessor of this house is not a house, but a part of the promenade.In the tofu factory, there are not only the promenade and the remains of the flower hall, but also the Taihu stone that was half buried by coal briquettes.As a guild hall, this courtyard is really impressive.Wang Er only knew that it was a guild hall, but he didn't know which province's guild hall it was.The following are the candidate provinces he thought of: Anhui, everyone knows that Anhui used to produce salt merchants, and the salt merchants were the richest; Shanxi, Laoxizi ran a lot of money pawnshops; or Songjiang Prefecture, Songjiang Prefecture produced the champion; maybe even Yunnan Province , because of the opium soil produced in Yunnan, the money from selling opium can be used to build a guild hall—of course, this has to be after the Opium War.When X Haiying was explaining the revolutionary principles to Wang Er, these random thoughts flashed through his mind one by one.Later, Wang Er became a college student, a graduate student, and until recently became a lecturer and an associate professor. He was often pushed on a chair to receive help education, and his mind was tumbling like this at that time.If there is a color TV on top of the head, it is not just X Haiying who is mad, but also the secretary of the party committee, the dean, the director, etc., including many celebrities.

Later, this Haiying stopped explaining the truth to Wang Er, and said in a different tone: You have to explain something, otherwise how can I write "help" materials for you?This kind of words can go to Wang Er's heart very well, because it is reasonable.At that time, whether it was rewarding the advanced or helping the backward, as long as a model was set, a story had to be made up.A situation like Wang Er requires such a story: how bad he was, to the point of beating the deaf, scolding the dumb, and picking up the graves of households.With the help of the group organization, he became better, from a black crow to a white dove, from a bad guy to a good guy.Now that Wang Er has beaten Zhanba and is in trouble, he is helping him—that is to say, he has to help make up the story. First, let’s talk about how bad Wang Er was before.But he couldn't think of anything.When forced to be helpless, he confessed that he stole carrots from the neighbor's house when he was a child.This made her feel like a treasure, and when she was writing at her desk, she sang loudly: "Small-time-time-steal-pass-neighbor-house-home-east-west!" When she finished writing, she asked Wang Er again, and he remained silent again. .

4 This incident is clearly my story again. Of course X Haiying has a name and surname, but I think it's better to hide it.She broke her promise like all women.It was agreed to guarantee my safety on the ground, but Lao Lu still wanted to bite me.When I complained to her, she said: "It's going to rain, my mother is going to get married, how can I manage it."She also said, pay more attention to yourself.In case of being chased to nowhere, run into the men's room, Master Lu may not dare to chase in (this is a bad idea, the toilet has only one door, if you run in, you will be blocked inside, it is called a Jedi in the art of war).After she finished speaking, she fell back on the chair, laughed loudly, and kicked the drawer wildly.In addition, she also gave Lao Lu an idea, telling her not to stare at a certain place before catching me, and wait until she got close to me before making a decision.After receiving such guidance, Lao Lu's eyes flickered when he rushed over, and he was very difficult to guard against.This incident shows that X Haiying is not on my side at all.Because Lao Lu often caught me, her physical fitness was getting better and faster, and her speed was getting faster and faster. She used to suffer from asthma, but it got better later.Finally she grabbed me by the collar.Fortunately, I was prepared, the collar was drawn on a piece of white paper, and I didn't feel bad when it was taken away. My wife later told me that my biggest problem was not reaching out to grab people suddenly, nor daydreaming, but being suspicious.I also admit this.If I hadn't been suspicious, how could I have suspected that Zhan Ba ​​would pick out my pocket for no reason, and then beat him up afterwards.But sometimes I feel that I'm not suspicious enough. For example, why didn't I suspect that X Haiying ordered Zhan Ba ​​to take out my pocket.It is easy to think about this matter. Although Zhan Ba ​​slacks his shoulders and looks sissy, as the foreigner said: Amanisaman, he will never stand on the side of Lao Lu.But X Haiying is different.She later became Mrs. Zhanba, so she could have instigated him seven years before marrying: Feel Wang Er's pocket to see if he did it.As long as he doesn't sell me to Lao Lu, Zhan Ba ​​can definitely sell me to someone else.But this kid also has a cute side, he was uneasy after agreeing to this kind of thing, and I saw that he got punched.It's good for him that he won't feel guilty about it later.This is also good for X Haiying, it can remind her to avoid bad ideas.It just doesn't do me any good.I didn't doubt that this girl would write in her diary: Wang Er has come to listen to the training honestly.This thing is so much fun!All I know is that she went to tell Lao Lu: Those paintings were definitely not painted by Wang Er, and Zhan Ba ​​can testify.So I am very grateful to her.In fact, anyone with eyes can see this: when I was stuck on the roof, those paintings continued to appear in the toilet.But she still wanted to arrest me, mainly because she had nothing to do. As I said, when Lao Lu grabbed my collar, that collar was drawn on white paper.With a light struggle, I tore it into two pieces, and escaped like a gecko with a broken tail.At that time, I was very proud and laughed out loud.And Lao Lu was so angry that he was going crazy, and white foam flowed from the corner of his mouth.But that's only one side of the story.The other side of the matter is that I found a piece of coated paper, and when I drew the collar, I was so sad that I even shed tears.It's easy to understand. I want to be a painter because I want to hang my paintings in world-renowned galleries, not to draw collars for myself.What good is a well-painted collar?I said these things to prove that I am not a two hundred and five. As long as I can fool Lao Lu with a fake collar, I will be satisfied for a while.I'm still worrying about my future.And Lao Lu is not a person who just wants to tear me alive.Not everyone has only one side. The following things can prove that Lao Lu does not have to tear me apart: A few days ago on the tram, a kind-hearted old lady called my name, and she was Lao Lu.She also told me that there was a period when she was so angry that she couldn't suppress it, and that something was wrong, so let me not take it to heart.I told her that I read the complete works of Freud in the United States, and I understood these things a long time ago.At that time, your sexual desire was suppressed. If you make love with your husband a few times, the anger will be suppressed.The people on the tram all looked this way after hearing this, but she didn't tear me up, she just said: What nonsense! X Haiying played tricks on me behind my back, but the fact that the factory wanted to send me to study was not a trick.There was indeed such a study class at that time, led by the police, and bad children were sent to every street and factory.There are many stories about this class.One of them is that on a dark and windy night in a month, in a village not far from us, a dog stopped barking after a few barks.The dog owner took a stick in one hand and went out with a flashlight in the other to look. He saw a few people wrapping a rope around the dog's neck and dragging it away.The man shouted: who?study class.What class?Rogue study class! So the dog owner turned around and fled, throwing away all the flashlights and sticks.There is also a story that says that in the study class, they don't learn anything, but only learn to watch melons.The police officer in charge said: Look at Zhang San!All the people rushed over together and looked at Zhang San.If you talk about watching Li Si, you have to watch Li Si.The so-called melon watching is to take off the pants of the person being watched and stuff his head into his crotch.If you think that the people's police are not so boring, the storyteller will say that there are still some police officers on duty in good police stations, and those who go there are those who are doing nothing.When I think of this incident, I feel very scared.If I went to the study class and was watched by others, I would definitely commit suicide immediately.If he didn't commit suicide, wouldn't it be fine if he was watched?For me, the only way out was to not go to classes.But X Haiying has the final say on whether I go to the study class or not. There is something to add about my paranoia.Later, Mr. X Haiying said some strange things to me, for example: I didn't cut my stomach!Or: You mean I cut my stomach?Even: Look carefully, is there a hole in my belly?Every time I finished speaking, I would laugh out loud, kicking forward regardless of whether there was a desk in front of me.Hearing such nonsensical words, it is inevitable to be suspicious for a while.But I never dared to pick it up, I just hoped in my heart that she didn't mean it that way.I really couldn't believe that Zhan Ba ​​could tell her that dirty joke. 5 When I grew up, I was very confused about these things when I was a child.I could climb a wall with indomitable determination, I could make all sorts of outlandish inventions, but I wasn't aware of what was going on around me, and I was almost sent to watch melons.Whether this means that I am extraordinarily smart or that I am extraordinarily stupid is a mystery. Regarding the matter of my "assistant education", I must add one more statement: it was during the revolutionary period.The meaning of revolution is that some people become victims inexplicably, just like the queen mother pouring the toilet from the sky, who may fall on it; or like a lottery draw, who may win.We can quite live with that.It doesn't matter whether those who sacrificed or those who didn't sacrifice can bear it.Such is the case in times of revolution.During the revolutionary period, I would not give up my seat when I met an old lady on the bus. I am afraid she is a landlady; and you dare not offend a three-year-old child, I am afraid he will sue you somewhere.During the revolutionary period, my imagination was very rich, and I always thought of Lao Lu's head as a urinal, into which he urinated;Apart from being a bad guy by nature, after all I also committed the crime of beating Zhan Ba, so being helped and taught was not wronged.Although Lao Lu still insisted that I painted her (this is a double injustice - first, the painting was not drawn by me but by Wotou; second, the painting by Wotou was not her. We saw in the factory Everyone who painted said: "Old Lu looks like this? She is so beautiful!", so it seems that only Mao Zhaza is her), and there is also X Haiying who is saving me.Sometimes I am very grateful to X Haiying and say to her: "Thank you Party Secretary!" I should have called the League Party Secretary, but in order to flatter me, I dropped the word "Tuan".She smiled and said, "Thank you! A policy of no way out is not a policy of the proletariat!" This sentence is often said by the people's judges when they sentence a criminal to death, and the execution is suspended for two years.Although I can't help breaking out in a cold sweat after listening to it, wondering who she is with, I don't think there is anything to complain about: after all, she is a secretary of the Communist Youth League and I am a young man who is backward. The distance between us is comparable to that of a judge and the death penalty. Although the crime is closer, it is of the same nature.I have talked so much, just to explain one thing: the incident in the tofu factory back then, although the cause was the nude painting of steamed corn bread, then someone added hairpins on it, then Lao Lu wanted to bite me, and then later I beat Zhanba again; but in the end I fell into X Haiying's hands.And that's how she made fun of me. I was out of breath being chased by Lao Lu, or scared out of my wits by X Haiying, so I went to talk to Zhan Ba.Because I like Zhan Ba, Zhan Ba ​​naturally has the obligation to listen to my nagging.After hearing these words, Zhan Ba ​​told X Haiying for me, asking her to help me find a solution, and even went to his classmates in the company to ask them to help Wang Er.In fact, Zhan Ba ​​had been tired of my affairs for a long time, but he had to take care of it.It's because he knows I like him. X Haiying didn't ask her if she had anything to say to me, and she was tired of asking Zhan Ba ​​to transfer the conversation.But she could only listen with a smile, because she knew that Zhan Ba ​​liked her. X Haiying also likes me, so he often threatens me.But I don't know anything, I'm just scared to death.