Chapter 9 Red Buddha Running at Night---About Interesting 【Chapter 6】

Chapter Six In this chapter, the author mentions when he was a secretary when he was young.As the name "Secretary Chief" suggests, at that time he often pulled an old horse and walked on the country roads to buy food for everyone.If it weren't for the bitter face and skinny bones, he looked a bit like the good soldier Schweik at that time.There is another important difference between him and Schweik, that is, if there is no beer, Schweik will die of thirst.And as long as there is water in the ditch, Wang Er will not die of thirst. one This part of the book is about myself, and it can be compared with what happened to Li Jing and Hong Fu.I live in a high-rise building.This building is green, and there is a small piece of withered yellow lawn in front of the building, and there are some weird utensils on the edge of the lawn.There are slides and horses for children, if you want to believe, but children must not sit on them, or they will get dirt on their ass, if their ass is still intact-I say this because of the slide There are many warped bamboo slices on it, and those bamboo slices are very sharp.The building also has dark corridors and a fluorescent-lit elevator that often lifts me up to the seventeenth floor; then I scramble my way among broken bicycles and packing boxes.This experience often made me think I was Picasso or some other painter, showing my messy paintings in the gallery.In the hallway, I often smell fried peppers or burnt yellow croaker, but it has nothing to do with the house I live in.There is a thick layer of soil on the stove in our kitchen, because it is already summer and there is no need to boil water.I drink tap water, and my little grandson who lives with me also drinks this kind of water, although I heard that the water in Beijing is very hard, and drinking unboiled water can cause stones.Sometimes she was wrapped in a nightgown and sat in the hall with staring eyes, and sometimes she was dressed in a suit skirt, white blouse, and high heels.It depends on whether she is going out or not.I lived in such a place, lit an eight-watt fluorescent lamp at night, thought about how to prove Fermat's theorem, and lived to be forty years old without knowing it.This place is no different from Luoyang City, where the streets are full of mud and water, and Chang'an City, which is made of loess. It is a reasonable place.

As I said, I am living with my grandson.Living together seemed to be a cue that there was going to be sex between the two of us.In good conscience, I cannot rest easy on such base insinuations.It keeps me dreaming and can't sleep at night.Qiuran Gong and Hong Fu were stronger than me when they lived together. Although there is a difference between fifty steps and one hundred steps, they are still stronger.Xiaosun is a tall woman. Sometimes she wears her hair in a ponytail, and sometimes she wears her shoulder-length hair. It doesn't matter, it's the hair anyway.If she wants to go out, she will wear a white shirt and a suit skirt, so that her waist will look thinner.Although she is already tall, she still wears high heels, which makes her look better.Now she has bangs to make her face appear shorter.I know these things very well, because I am her full-length mirror. She often comes to my room after dressing up to ask me to see how I am, but she never listens to my opinion.According to how she dresses up, I can tell that she is the original person, so I suggest that she dye her hair red and her eyebrows blue.This ensures that her own mother will not recognize her.But the bosses would not allow her to come to work like this, they would tell her to shave off all her hair and eyebrows to look like a big egg.All in all, it's always a sensible look when she's going out.If you don't wear anything, you don't know what it looks like.I recently got together with Xiao Sun.Apart from the crow's feet at the corners of her eyes, this woman is very beautiful.There was a flesh-colored mole above her collarbone, the same texture as her nipple.There was nothing unexpected about this, and it seemed to me even logical.When others look at this matter, they may think it is not reasonable enough. This is because I am not a reasonable person.In this regard, I am also self-aware.When summer comes, I often study her bra through her translucent shirt, and when I am lost in thought, I will shout out the words taught by Kundera.The first time she heard me yelling this, she cried and made noise, and said she wanted to find our boss; then she stopped crying and punished me to clean the toilet.In fact, I didn't mean anything bad, it's just that I was out of my mind and could say anything.

I brush the toilet with sulfuric acid and potassium dichromate, which is the formula for washing test tubes, and then I wash it with laundry detergent, making it the brightest thing in the house each time.When people come to our house, they are always surprised when they see the shiny black kitchen and then go into the toilet.When guests come, I always lead them to the bathroom to have a look.Recently, when she heard me yelling like this again, she stopped asking me to clean the toilet, and she didn't say she wanted to find our boss. She just smiled and said, "Next time." As I have said, the sentence taught by Kundera is a "Take off" Yu.She said next time, that is to say, show me the next time.But next time there will be next time, such a recursive cycle will never end.I didn't want her to take the word seriously either, because I don't know what part of my brain it came from.But since she didn't let me clean the toilet, the two of us have become more and more friendly.Every time she has a visitor, she will lead me to have a look, and introduce: Wang Er, a mathematician.He was proving Fermat's theorem, and he was writing novels.I have guests here, and she also comes to poke around, especially the female guests.Once a classmate came to see me at home. His voice was high pitched and beautiful, which belonged to the category of boys' voices.Xiao Sun came to spy several times, but was still not satisfied.After the guests left, I ran into my room and looked under the bed.I asked her what was wrong, and she said, there is a woman in your room, why didn't you see it?Where did you hide her?

I usually don't lock the door, Xiao Sun can come into my room at will.If her client is a smoker, come here for cigarettes and ashtrays.I always have a pack of cigarettes and an ashtray on my desk, although I don't smoke much myself.In addition, there are two manuscripts, one is the proof of Fermat's theorem, and the other is what you see now.She didn't understand the first copy, but she probably read the second copy.After this incident, she often broke into my house and scribbled on this manuscript.She uses a kind of purple ink, which is made by mixing 50% red and blue inks.If you can see this manuscript, you will find that it looks like the Zhiyanzhai version, full of eyebrow comments.For example, she criticized thirty-five "shit" in the section about her not being embarrassing or embarrassing, and "who do you blame" before "forty-one years old" in this section.In the part where she said she had two breasts, she wrote "Could it be three?" I didn't mean that, but if there were three breasts, I wouldn't object.While quality is important, so is quantity.

The way we got together happened like this: One afternoon, she called me into her room, and talked a lot in random ways.You know we've lived together so long that nothing I say can get my attention.I just noticed that she was well dressed and she had on high heels.In addition, I also saw traces of thin powder application on her face.This seemed to indicate that she was about to go out.Maybe she wants me to water her flowers, or ask me to take care of something else for her.In this case, I often say yes without even listening to it - because I'll forget it right away, so it's useless - I'm just looking at her underwear through the translucent blouse , it was a white bra with some flowers on it, like some kind of enamel vessel.It was afternoon, and her house was a bit sunset, and the sun dazzled my eyes.And she has some bangs on her forehead, and those hairs are slightly yellow.Her face was flushed, and there were spots of sweat on her chin and neck.No wonder, if you find a thermometer and look at it, you will find that it is thirty-five degrees, which alone can make some people faint. It is not so hot, and the direct sunlight should be taken into account.I just stared at her like that, and yelled out what Kundera had taught me—of course I was scared after I finished speaking.To be honest, I don't know what she said at all, so interjecting without context is simply courting death.So now I just wait for her to point the finger and run out to get the vitriol.To be honest, the toilet should be cleaned too.But this time she didn't point, and stood there quietly with a majestic expression, like a mercenary captain.Then the room became dark, and it turned out that she had drawn the curtains.Then she took off all her clothes—she had two breasts on her chest, and they looked not bad, as if two fruits had grown on a tree; there was some pubic hair on her lower abdomen, black and shiny, as if she had been dyed.The whole situation is like this.This is the only unreasonable thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

There is still a lot to add about myself.I was born to be very old-looking, and now I compare the photos when I was seventeen. Except for my hair, my face has not changed much.In other words, when I was seventeen, I was wrinkled, thin and tall.When jumping in the queue, everyone thought the food was not good, so the boss assigned me to be the chief of staff, probably because he thought I was old-fashioned.The difficulty of this job is that everyone is from the north, so they must eat steamed buns.It is not difficult to exchange rice for white noodles, and it is not difficult to find steamers and steamers. The difficulty lies in making noodles.How big is the dough if it is not made.It is still too big after it is steamed, and it must be dead noodles when it is steamed.Some people beat this kind of steamed buns back and cut them into sliced ​​noodles to eat, but it is difficult to cut them.I imagine that the first-class lady is like this, with a straight face during the day and lying on the bed like a coffin board at night.The bosses generally look like this.If the noodles are well-proven, they will be elastic when pressed, and they will be delicious when they are steamed in vain.Although Hong Fu spent half his life as a soldier, he was active and kept his duty after being appraised as a noble lady. Li Weigong was also very satisfied with her, which is generally the case for second-class noble ladies.The worst dough swelled out of the mouth of the vat, and a lot of air bubbles exploded on the surface, and it was so soft that it would stick to your hands.The steamed buns made from this kind of dough were rancid and smelly. When the students saw it, they used it as a hand grenade and threw it at me.Later, I gained experience. Every time I made the noodles bigger, I hid in the woods before eating, and came out after they finished eating.The similarity between the third-class ladies and this kind of steamed buns is that they all have very strange tempers, which come from menopausal syndrome, neurosis and paranoia, just like the smell of rotten steamed buns.Their husbands are always hiding outside and never coming home.As women, their lifelong careers have all failed, just as I was downsized from a scientific research position and sold salted fish.This doesn't mean that I have lost my scientific research ability, it just means that I have lost my delicious taste from the bosses.Later, the bosses found that I was unreliable, so they removed me and replaced me, but the others did worse than me.

When I was young, I was the head of the department, and I kept a pack horse in the kitchen, which was a small pack horse from Yunnan.The horse and I have a very good friendship, and he licks my hand when we meet.The secret of friendship is very simple, that is, you can feed it whatever you can eat, whether it is cabbage or cucumber, it likes to eat it very much, but it just refuses to eat eggplant.When I take it to buy vegetables, I always ride on it, and it doesn't object.Just go down when you see a ditch on the side of the road.Because of its short stature, my legs dragged on the edge of the ditch when we got off the ditch. The two of us combined to use six legs to move forward, looking like a strange insect.When I got to a shaded place, I would lie down and sleep, and let it graze on its own.This is an old horse eliminated from the caravan, of course it is still a little younger than me.I treat it like a brother and often compare our destinies.Its situation is quite special, there is one person as a buddy, so it is not representative.Just comparing us with the pack horses in the general caravan, the result is not too favorable for us.That kind of horse grazes in the morning and feeds the rest of the time.For it, green grass is not an unpalatable thing, it is equivalent to fresh asparagus or crispy fried bean sprouts.As for the beans, it is equivalent to our steamed buns and bread.There is nothing to complain about the food itself, the main problem is whether you can eat enough.Most of the horses I've seen are not too fat, but passable.But have you seen what we were like when we were young?If you give an eighteen-year-old man seventeen kilograms of rice a month and nothing else to do farm work, you will never see a fat man.The pack horses are always carrying things, which is equivalent to carrying 50 kilograms of weight on our backs to run between Beijing and Tianjin.This is not a shocking thing for those who joined the team or served in the military when they were young.In one of the most important aspects of life, we are absolutely inferior to them, that is, when spring comes, our horses, male and female, are all released into the wild, where they can do whatever they want without sending roses There is no need to go to the unit to issue a certificate or change the account book.As for me, I didn't have sex until I was forty-one.The sage said that humans are different from animals, which is to remind us not to make too many demands on life.When I was young, I saw many people who committed suicide, but I never saw a horse jumping into a mountain stream while walking. This is the reason.What these words mean is that I am resting on the grass with my horse, and if I wake up on my knees and become a horse, and it becomes a steer, I will never be sad, but sad I'm afraid it will be it.

The thing I think about this horse is that women don't treat me as well as a mare treats him.Of course, I don't expect them to be as generous as the mare.Because I am not as kind as a stallion, I will throw anyone who wants to ride on my back.Therefore, it is reasonable to have to spend a lot of time to take a look at it.What's more, my little grandson didn't just let me look at it, there is also the following.I'm a person who always misses the above. In her words, it's "you are always in a trance, why didn't someone shoot you away", but I am very confident in myself, just like an old bicycle.It won't be lost anywhere.In short, before this happened, I yelled at her: "Take off!" After saying that, I was afraid of getting in the mouth.Fortunately, she was stunned for a while, and then blushed and said: Is it too early now?With this thread, I was able to use the charm of my brevity—not early—in a tone of command, which she seemed to enjoy listening to.Then she went and drew the curtains.But afterwards, these words flowed from my mind immediately without leaving any trace.When a bachelor in my forties did this for the first time, my performance was of course mediocre, although I did my best.When I was doing that, I heard a "Toto" sound, and when I looked back, it was she who was hitting the tree with her toes.

The result of my cohabitation with Xiao Sun is like this. This incident shows that we can't stand the temptation.In fact I didn't seduce her, she didn't seduce me, we both were tempted to move in together.But it also showed that we were both lusting high, to the point of being on fire.For some reason, the bosses always thought it would be better to keep everyone in this state.Of course, I can also come up with some rationales for the bosses: If people are dying of hunger, thirst, and "sex" to death, they will think that rotten steamed buns are delicious, horse urine is delicious, and old sows look more pleasing to the eye. .Because everyone thinks this way, the status quo of our low level can be brightened.There is a joke in the Cultural Revolution that the cross talk master Hou Baolin asked senior Hua Luogeng a question: how to form two triangles with three matches?You probably already know the solution—put out a triangle first, and then press your right eye out of the eye socket to look at the triangle.If the leaders really think this way, then they should think about it with Master Hou.

two Later, Xiao Sun explained to me that I was punished for cleaning the toilet. He said: You can watch it if you want, but you are not allowed to sneak around.Later, as long as she was not wearing clothes, she had to face me face to face, as if I were a landline for taking pictures.This reminds me that the landline has only one lens, so the left eye is getting bigger and bigger, the right eye is getting smaller and smaller, and the neck is crooked.At the same time, he was sitting upright, as if he had already been filmed.I said why some modern painters draw crooked female bodies. It turns out that they have already contracted the bad habit of voyeurism.Xiaosun was dissatisfied with the section I wrote about the two of us doing things. She said that Mr. Wei also drew a picture book for Hongfu.So I do it all over again.It was very hot that day, and her house had a bit of sunset light.When I sat in her room, the sun had just hit the window, and there was a lot of golden dust outside the glass, which reminded me that it hadn't rained for a long time.She was sitting on the bed, with a mat mark on her temple, and her eyes were still a little red.It means she just woke up.But it cannot be said that she was disheveled, wearing a white shirt on her upper body and a suit skirt underneath, and there were traces of makeup on her face.It wasn't like this when she was going to talk to me before, so I vaguely felt that something was going to happen, and I was in a trance.Although I didn't hear what she said, I also thought that I was going to make a big mistake.It was only later that I found out that the problem was that I had changed from the chief secretary to a horse.If this change had occurred before I was twenty, I would have been extremely happy, but now that I am in my forties, the degree of joy is very different.

Xiaosun told me that she thought about it for a long time before she talked to me about it, and felt that it was hypocritical for us to live like this and ignore each other.That's what she said to me, and I would have agreed if I had heard it, but I didn't hear it.If other women see me like this, they will definitely slap me in the mouth.But she has lived with me for so long, she already understands me, she understands that if she wants to have sex with a mathematician, she has to be mentally prepared, so she didn't hit me, just with three points of despair, three points of helplessness, and four points of incomprehension look at me.But it turns out that as long as you talk to a living person, you won't talk in vain, no matter if he is sleeping or in a daze.When she spoke, the things I thought of had nothing to do with what she said.I recommend these materials for use by psychologists.All in all, as soon as the confusion was over, I said, "Take it off!" It sounded wrong on its own, but considering what she said, it made sense.Then my left cheek started twitching, obviously that part thought it was going to be hit.But it was a false alarm, and she accepted my suggestion. Before my illicit sex with Sun at night, she lay on my lap while I sat flat on the bed.This is the main point of our posture at that time, and there are other situations: I lean against the wall, her head and legs are placed on the bed, the whole body is upwards forming an arch, and when I look down, I can just see her belly button.It is conceivable that Li Weigong and Hongfu fled to the outskirts of Luoyang, and started their illegal sex life in this posture in a place where no one was around.In a short time (one year in the dream, twenty or thirty years in reality), Hong Fu will become a shrunken old woman, and Wei Gong will become a hunchbacked old man. At that time, what we are doing now will be If you can't do it, the only thing you can do in the future is to eat and shit, and you will end your life like this.The question now is what to do besides this, or nothing at all.I told Xiaosun that I must prove Fermat's theorem, otherwise I will die in peace.She asked me what is the use of this thing, and I told her that it is useless, but that it can make people who come later can no longer die.This kind of argument is also unreliable, because Fermat is not the only thing that can make people die in peace, but there are many.In fact, I just fell into the magic way, and I must do this thing well.She said she likes it, and it's extra pleasant to have sex with someone who is possessed.What Li Weigong told Hong Fu was not Fermat, because he had already proved this theorem.What he was talking about was that he would build a city in the future, which was different from Luoyang City - a whole utopia.After hearing his nonsense, Hongfu felt that he was very crazy, so she was very happy and happy.But even Wei Gong himself didn't know that after only a dozen years, this utopia was built.He and Hongfu lived in it, feeling extremely bad.In Li Weigong's mind is the whole city of Chang'an, including the streets and alleys, every tree, every well, and the brick roads.He wants to order how many people to sweep the streets, how many people come out to weed, and he also cares about how many grain trucks are entering the city today, and how many grain trucks are on the road.To put it simply, he has become a large computer, storing a lot of data, and making judgments based on these data.What a wretch. Xiao Sun was lying on my knees, the front of his body stretched very long, his breasts became a vertical oval, or even a rhombus, and his belly became slender.I was very afraid that her lumbar spine would go wrong, causing hemiplegia and so on.She made me worry less.She also said that she had practiced rhythmic gymnastics, and that her spine was considered the best part of her body by her coach.Later she turned around to show me that her spine was really extraordinary, and I seemed to see the back of a sturgeon.Considering the matter of sex, a human being is almost irreplaceable by any machine, whether it is a product of IBM or HP.Of course, without taking this into account, it's easy to replace people.In the city of Chang’an designed by Li Weigong, some wooden women were placed in low-level inns for the porters to use, but few people cared about them, because although the appearance was impeccable, they always broke down, and people were stuck inside. The pain made my nose runny and tears flowed.I hurriedly asked the proprietress for the key, and when I opened it, it looked like a rat caught in a trap, bloody and bloody.In addition, those porters also knocked on the wooden man and asked: Can you have children?As soon as I heard that I couldn't have children, I became less interested.Later this invention was sold to the emperor.The emperor made a large batch and sent them to the expeditionary force to throw them away on the way of retreat. This kind of thing is called "booby trap" in modern military terms, and it caught a large number of Turkic, Xianbei, and Korean people. And let them die.This incident shows that although Duke Wei is unparalleled in ingenuity, he will accomplish nothing without the Emperor of Tang. But these are things at night, and there is another time during the day.It was daylight for the first time: when she drew the curtains, the room became dark.She unbuttoned her skirt, which fell to the floor, forming a dark circle, and she was white, and seemed to be emerging from the circle.Then she took off her shirt and knelt down on the bed, facing the wall.These times are very slow, and I am in a trance again.Then she yelled at me: You can't do nothing!I just went over and helped her take off the bra hooks, and squinted one eye to look ahead.You have to know that I have never been short-sighted, so the presbyopia developed very early, and now it is 300 degrees, and I can't see clearly at a distance.But moving forward when I can't see clearly is a long-standing habit of my life, and it will never change just because of old age.The result was that I didn't see anything, and I was confused from beginning to end.Looks like I need a pair of reading glasses.But it doesn't matter if you can see it or not.Except for some special sensations, doing that is, on the whole, no different than climbing a particularly smooth tree. I used to do things like climbing trees. For example, when I was the chief of staff, I slept with my brother Ma under a big green tree. When I woke up, I climbed the tree and took off all my clothes. Wear a pair of socks.Then I stood on a very exposed branch and shouted long live. At this time, my thing stood upright, as if I was giving a Nazi salute, and I could see it for miles around.But that place was desolate, and there was no one for miles around.I kept yelling until it was finished, and then I got down from the tree and went home.That's how I work hard on official business - I can go ten miles away to buy soy sauce, and I can go there for two days and two nights.In addition, I was given sour steamed buns for everyone, so I didn't have anything to say when I wasn't allowed to be the secretary.Of course, Xiaosun's tree is by no means comparable to any big green tree, wild pear tree, white bark pine, etc. It is extremely enjoyable to climb up.Later I told her so.She said: Thank you for treating me like a tree. You looked very good at that time. You opened your eyes wide and looked up and down. You didn’t see the nipple inserted into your eyes.I feel like I’m treating your eye disease—these words remind me of when I was a worker in a factory, if I forgot to wear my glasses while welding and got electro-optic conjunctivitis, the pain would be unbearable.At this time, the only way is to recognize a breastfeeding young woman as a godmother and let her squeeze some milk into the eyes.I once had a godmother who was much younger than me, but had much bigger tits—and then I stood up and could see everything.She has a thin waist, full breasts, a flushed face, and so on.It's almost the same as guessing through the clothes.So far, the first unreasonable thing I have seen in my life has happened. Later, when Xiao Sun and I did that, we were always in her house.Her room is bigger and has a double bed.With a fifteen-watt desk lamp on, although it was dark in the room, I could see a little more clearly than during the day.Before doing something, she always pinches my thing with her hands, and then she thinks about it.I think this problem is practiced by picking cucumbers when buying vegetables. They use fingers instead of hardness testers.Mine was pretty decent for a time like this: thick and long and rather stiff, like a Havana in every way, but not resistant to fingernails.From this experience, we can know what cucumbers think of women with long nails.I asked her what she was thinking, at first she refused to tell me, and then said: Don't mind after I tell you—from your appearance, this thing shouldn't look like this.I said what happened to my appearance?She said you looked rather sluggish.I still don't understand this matter, but she didn't want to continue, so she said: Don't talk about it.Eat the rice when it is cooked, don't wait for it to cool.This is an elegant metaphor, showing that she is still a bit ladylike.It wasn't until after the work was done that I realized that I had shot her in the back.She meant that I looked impotent.Since I am impotent, it is a strange thing for her to do this with me.Regarding this question, she smiled and said: I saw that you were in a daze all day, and thought it was funny (but then she thought I was not funny anymore).She also said, I see you are dumbfounded, I don't know what you are thinking, and I want to know.If a woman wants to know a man's secret, she can only seduce him with color, even spread his legs apart, and press his head between his breasts (Xiao Sun commented here: Who pressed you? From this I just knew she didn't press me).This statement sounds absurd, but it is actually quite believable.The Bible says: A fisherman is like a fisherman.To win someone is to know someone. This is very interesting.Some people can tell just by looking at it, it is a stinky hairtail.Some people can only know that it is a tuna only by having sex with him.I am the latter kind of person.Then she called me Tuna, and it seems I was right about these things.Related to this was the second irrational thing that ever happened to me in my life - I stuck that hard, cucumber-like thing inside her. Li Weigong and Hongfu escaped from Chang'an City, and stayed on a dirt slope that night, under a big tree.Because it was already dark, I couldn't see what kind of tree it was.They made love right under that tree.Hong Fu was lying in Li Jing's arms. In the darkness, her snow-white body stretched longer and longer, like a river of milk flowing.She began to talk to Li Jing in a more affectionate tone, for example, Li Lang, talk about your Chang'an City.The sound gradually faded away.Does this mean that there is a little love between them?Qiubeard has been following them, hiding in the grass not far away, hearing such words, he was so jealous that he was going crazy.But hearing these words, I felt a little bit of satisfaction, like watching a movie with a bed scene.Xiao Sun and I were also doing this. Before doing it, she said to me, don't be dazed this time, okay?But this matter is not something I can decide, and then she pinched my nose.I said hypocritically to her: I love you, and she replied: Stop talking nonsense!When she was done, she asked me again: Is what you said just now true?At this time, I have long forgotten what I said.She flew into a rage and turned around to point her ass at me.That's not bad either, she has a really nice butt, which is kind of like a steamed bun.For some reason, when it comes to women, I always think of steamed buns.If I touch her there with my hand, I will get a vicious reprimand: Don't press it if you have nothing to do!This shows that she is not in a good mood, and it also shows that her temper is very bad.Later, she bought me a pair of 300-degree reading glasses, threw them at me viciously and said: Put them on, and see clearly!Strange logic - I don't see how it hurts her. After I had sex with Xiao Sun, I sometimes thought about whether to get married.This matter was not considered before, I mean, we must register for marriage, because it was very lucrative to do this in the past.In the 1960s, you could get some cloth tickets. In the 1970s, you could get a ticket to buy a big wardrobe. In the 1980s, you could get a few days of marriage leave.And there is no fee to register.Now there is no lucrative, only some free condoms, and registration costs a lot more.Xiao Sun went to ask for a condom and told others my size in detail. This was tantamount to exposing me to the broad daylight, so it was better to buy it.For others, it is possible to gain a favorable position in housing allocation, but not for us.If we live in this house as a couple, it will already exceed the standard.Originally, the index of having a child could be obtained, but Xiao Sun has already given birth to a child with her ex-husband, so it may not be possible to obtain it.What's more, I have no interest in having children, although it is a pity to see my semen flushed into the toilet in the condom I bought with money.As a Chinese, I naturally regret things.But such a thing is a pity.I know that there are a billion children in one serving of semen. If all of them are born and they all ask me for a baby, will I still live?In addition to pity myself, I also pity the world. If a billion of my children come into this world, even if they dig the soil for food like earthworms, they will tear up everything in disgrace.So when I think about having a baby, I get rashes all over my body.For me, I'm only good at something that meets two criteria: first, it's harmless, and second, it's fun.So I can only go to prove mathematical theorems.However, the Chang'an City built by Duke Wei is just the opposite in two respects, harmful and boring.It is also necessary to quote Xiaosun's comment on this paragraph. She criticized me under my discussion about marriage: "Don't be shameless, who wants to marry you?" I'm happy.Because I was also terrified of getting married.What should be explained now is why I am always in a daze. This is because I always feel that the things I encounter are unreasonable, so I am full of doubts about them.For example, when I was in a meeting at work, I thought: What are you doing with those farts?Is there anyone willing to have a meeting?In fact, no one wants to have a meeting, but it must be held.I don't know what you think, but anyway, I think this is incomprehensible, so I was taken aback.But one day when I went to class and didn't have a meeting, I would be in a daze: what's wrong, I went back to the meeting, but today it won't be held.The result was that I had to be stunned twice for the sake of the meeting.The same goes for my own bluntness.In the past, I was surprised that it was doing nothing when it straightened up, but now I am surprised that something happened after it straightened up.All in all, I can only use one sentence to sum up everything I have encountered in this life, which is called "knowledge is endless". During the day, when I unfastened my little grandson's bra, the thing bounced with a bang, floating in front of me like two sails, as if it was about to go on a long voyage.This incident reminds me of lifting the lid of a pressure cooker. If there is pressure inside, there will be a "bang", and maybe it will hit my nose.Later she sprawled like a frog on the purple bedspread.White frog in a purple pond.I climbed on top of her like a frog too, and the hard thing connected us.This stuff is important. When Xiao Sun and I made love in the dark house, I felt like a big branch in the tropical rain forest. She was a white sloth. In the dark night, she crawled under me, probably to Just cross a small river.Or I'm a big monkey crawling on a branch and she's a little monkey hanging from my stomach with a special umbilical cord connecting us.This umbilical cord was the thing she had pinched like a cucumber.This scene is like a black and white negative.There are countless leaves ringing around us.I can't see the leaves in the dark, and they are probably as big as the lid of the pot.There are also some raindrops falling, making some metallic sounds on the leaves.At such times, Xiao Sun said: Don’t stop like this.It's a pity that the good times didn't last long.After a while I wanted to go to Fermat.The rainforest and monkeys are all gone.Then she hit me on the head and said: You are so annoying!Didn't Fermat prove it early?我说证出来不等于写了出来，想要写成像样的论文，还要费些脑筋。再说这也不碍你什么事。她说她宁要大马猴，也不要数学公式。这样身上像是堆了一大堆的数学符号，好像碎玻璃，站起来一抖，稀里哗啦。这真是怪诞的想像，费尔马可以使我变成硅酸盐。要是在白天干这种事，我就能看见红土山丘，自己也咴咴地叫唤，好像是变成了我的马兄弟。人这种动物干这种事时实在呆板，躺在那里一动都不能动；而马则是在跑动中完成，难怪小马一生下来就会跑。时隔二十多年，我的马兄弟大概也死了，顶多剩下几块皮，也被制成了革，做成了皮鞋。不管在这种时候我看到的是什么，闻到的气味总是一样的，是含有酵母的生面味道，甜甜酸酸的很好闻。这大概就是她的味道罢。闻到这种气味，我就觉得那个地方热辣辣的，一些粘粘的东西流了出来。这件难以置信的事就算发生过了。 three 等到我证明了费尔马定理（这件事马上就要讲到，它是我这辈子遇到的第三件不合情理的事）后，在和小孙干事时，就把老花镜戴上。其实这是故作郑重状，因为老花眼隔得远时是能看见的。这时候我心里正在得意，想到我已经成为了人瑞，还有因此我生活将要发生的变化。这时她把两手平伸开握住床栏，全身构成一个白色的Y字形。我还想吻她一下，但是她把头躲开了，说道：你小心眼镜！我把眼镜摘了她还是不让吻，还说，你不要装神弄鬼。这种说法十足是不讲道理，活在这个世界上不装神弄鬼怎么成。我的问题不是装神弄鬼，而是装不像。据我所知，别人和女人做爱前，总要说些“我爱你”之类的鬼话，然后再亲吻她几下。这种事想必她是喜欢的，要是不喜欢，何必要和我好呢。她说：放屁，谁和你好。我说要是不和我好，何必要干这种事。她说这是因为没有别的事可干。我说那好，咱们就干吧。她说混帐，你现在在干的是什么？我们俩当时精赤条条，正在性交，但我把这件事给忘了。我总是这样的，所以不足为奇。奇怪的是这个女人总是和我拌嘴，却不妨碍达到性高潮。当然我也有贡献，我虽然愣愣怔怔。五迷三道，干的却是相当生猛。事后我对她说：你不要怪我。心不在焉，胡思乱想，这是我的生活方式。这时候我倒是相当正经。她说：谁怪你了，口气也相当温婉，我们俩就搂在一起。过了一会，她说：你有什么话就说吧。我说没什么话。她说：回你房里去，我要睡了。我站起来就走，走了一半，忽然想了起来，说道：对了，我爱你。她说：滚蛋！拿上你的衣服！从这天晚上的事，你就知道我为什么当了四十一年的光棍。小孙老说我有病，让我去安定医院（这是北京最大的精神病院，用做一切精神病院的代称）看看。但我坚信我没有病。我只是保持了年轻时的光荣传统。 我年轻时在生产队里干农活，烈日如火，胜子也没吃饱，就难免要两眼发直。那时候不光是我一个人这样，人人都是两眼发直。还有后来上了大学，听政治课时系里要求双肘在桌面上，双眼直视老师。这个时候大家也都是心不在焉，有以下事实为证——下课铃一响，我后心上就挨了狠狠的一拳，打我的小子说：王二，昨天那道题我做出来了！然后他就讲给我听，用的纯是数学用语，不带一点政治课的内容。事实证明，在我们年轻时，只有心不在焉，三心二意才能够生活。我只是把这种品行保持到了中年罢了。我把这些事讲给她听，她却不肯相信，说道：我比你小不了几岁，你经过的事我差不多也经过。我怎么没有你这些毛病？因此我又解释道，这毛病是在数学系里养成的。我们班有个女同学结婚后给她丈夫下挂面，把拖鞋下到锅里面。她漂亮极了，像天仙一样，但是后来找了个糟老头子。我们班上也有些英俊的少伙子，但是谁都不找本系同学结婚，因为两个糊涂蛋生活在一起，就有生命危险。 我们提到卫公建立的长安城时，给它一个负面评价，其实它也不是一点优美之处都没有的。尤其是在早上阳光斜射的时候，这座黄土碾成的大城被露水滋润，呈现出浓烟的黄色，房屋墙壁棱线分明。这也是槐花香味最浓的时候。偶尔会有几个姑娘曲线毕露，婀娜多姿地到井边去取水。但这只是昙花一现的景象。等到太阳刚升起来，大街又充满了嚣张的人群和粗厉的嗓音；还有踢踢踏踏的脚步声，尘土飞扬。幸而这时小巷还有一些安静和清凉。但是过一会小贩就要侵入小巷，挨家挨户地敲门，卖咸鱼，卖柴火，卖招苍蝇的臭黄酱，卖豆面饽饽，到处是吵人的讨价还价声。现在只好退回家里去。但只清静了一会，一个小孩子又嚷了起来，絮絮叨叨，没完没了，要吃饽饽。很快就有五六个童稚的嗓子加入了这个大合唱。然后一个粗哑的女声就骂道：操你妈（该孩子的妈就是她，难道要和自己搞同性恋吗）！才吃了早饭又要吃饽饽！再过一会又说：我没钱，找你爸爸要钱！没有钱，这伙小崽子就会把当爹的耳膜吵破、衣襟扯碎，而住在小胡同里的人钱可不能够这样花。好吧，就让他去和那些缠人的小崽子纠缠罢。但此时你不胜诧异地发现，该爸爸就是你呀！我说过，我一个小时能做二十个小时的梦，所以一睡着了就在时空里漫游，一不留神就可能跑到大唐朝去，在那里变成一大窝小崽子的爸爸。我以为这比做梦变成了一只猫被车轮子压了尾巴还要糟，所以在梦里和女人做爱、我都忘不了戴避孕套，甚至有幸梦成了大唐皇帝本人时也是这样。皇后对我说：圣上，你这是干啥？咱们又不是养不起。我就答道：梓童，咱们还是防着点好。万一过一会你变成个蓬头垢面的老婆子（这在梦里是常有的事，与此同时我往往也要变成一个穷兮兮的糟老头），咱们就养不起了。因为这种事，常挨皇后的大嘴巴。人活在世界上会做各种各样的梦，梦里一切事都有可能发生。但是对我而言，最常做的一个梦就是我是王二，坐在家里冥思苦想，要把费尔马定理证出来。我把这个梦叫做真实。我想，这样说是正确的吧。这说明我生活在长安城里也要发愣，或者是人活在世上不发楞根本就不成。不管是长安城还是洛阳城，哪里都有合情合理的地方。但是正如我们都知道的，最为合情合理的就是我们眼前的世界。 有关豆面饽饽，我有一点要补充的地方。小的时候，姥姥常给我做这种东西吃。其实把它叫做豆面饽饽是一种夸大其词的说法，它是用玉米粉搀入少许黄豆粉，贴在底部有水的铁锅里烤成，另一个名称叫做贴饼子。虽然不难吃，但也不是什么山珍海味。唐朝没有玉米，所以是用小米粉，这一来就不好吃，尤其是用连壳碾的小米汤来做，相当拉嗓子。但是比之高梁粉制成的各种食物，就算是相当好吃。大唐朝种植的是矮秆的杂交高梁，这是穷人的标准食物。过了一千多年，又在华北平原上大量种植供农民食用，那种物质在煮好以后是灰白色毫无光泽的一堆，质地及气味都属怪诞，如果拿去喂猪，猪也是一边掉泪一边把它吃下去。考虑到这种情况，假如有小孩子向我要求豆面饽饽，我就给他。当然，给不起的情形例外。在这种情形下就只能给孩子一嘴巴，虽然简便易行，但是惨无人道——这从一个侧面说明了戴避孕套的必要性。我们的四大发明里居然没有避孕套一项，李卫公也没把它发明出来，我们只是发明了打死人的火药，擦屁股的纸，印刷红头文件的印刷术，还有指南针——没有它咱们也能找着路。咱们这叫发明了些啥。 我和小孙干这种事从来都戴套——越是非法性交，这种东西就越不可少。它可以把这件事的意义变成只是玩玩而已。就在玩着的时候我忽然想到了费尔马定理的证明——这纯属偶然。数学和性没有一点关系。绝不能由此得出一个结论道：当你想数学题想不出来时，就该和女人发生性关系。 小孙对我说，我最讨厌的就是你那个费尔马定理。你居然在这种时候把它证了出来，真叫人恶心。我想一个数学定理没有任何令人恶心之处，她讨厌的是我那种一心二用的方式。我想这个定理都想了半辈子了，随时随地都要想，简直就像感冒了就要打喷嚏一样。你总不能要求一个感冒了的男人在性交之前用胶纸条把鼻子粘上罢。而且只有现代才有胶纸条，古代只有贴膏药。膏药贴上就揭不掉。揭下了纸背，剩下的是乌黑的一团，好像得了恶性黑瘤。这就未免得不偿失了。 Four 我把费尔马定理写成了论文，亲自送到了学报，送到一位大学同学手里。在此之前我还送给几位教授看过，他们笑呵呵地说：证出了费尔马？好哇好哇，放下罢——好像我在行贿，要放下的是钱一样。这些老家伙谁要是看了一页，太阳肯定要从西面出来。我同学告诉我说，这论文他一定要看，因为我证得也不容易。然后又告诉我说，他在这里呆不了多长时间了。这是因为他很快就要到一家计算机公司里去干事，以便多挣些钱。我一听，就知道他纯粹是在扯淡，他根本不会看这论文。这定理我证了十年，他要想看懂，起码要全心全意看一两个星期。三心二意永远也看不懂。所以我告诉他说，这论文我还要改，就把它拿回来了。我走的时候已经和他搞得相当的不愉快。那位同学说：你搞这些东西有什么用处？他的意思是说，我证明费尔马定理，这件事不够有害。因为有用就是有害。举例而言，我的那个东西，假如戴了避孕套，那就什么用也没有，但是也无害。候如不带套子，就十分有用，但也十足有害。像这样的例子比比皆是。我在大太阳底下走了半天回家，几乎中了暑，而且想到我十年的心血，得到的居然是这种对待，一怒之下点火要把论文烧掉。小孙看见了猛扑过来，把火熄掉。这件事叫我感到一丝快慰——毕竟还有人珍视我的劳动。后来她翻开那份从火里强抢出来的稿子看了看，又递给我说：接着烧罢——我还以为你在烧小说哪。这件事使我愤怒异常，我把所有的数学书都扔了，发誓以后把数学全忘掉。但这件事又有不合情理的地方———我在数学系供职，把数学全忘了怎么混饭吃？ 晚上小孙对我说，你以后就写写小说罢，别弄数学了。数学又费脑子，又没意思。而且派不上什么用场。我告诉她说，她的意见有偏颇之处。她不懂数学，又识中国字。假如反过来，必定要说，别写小说了，就搞数学好了。要学会繁难的中国宇，绝不比学数学用力少。更何况读小说还需要文学鉴赏力，不仅仅是识字。事实上任何事都得费费脑子才能有意思。只有最后一句话还有些道理，就是无论纯数学还是小说，都没有什么用处。一泡屎屙出来还可以肥田，而数学定理和小说在这个方面简直连一泡屎都顶不上。当年在卫公的长安城里就有这样的规定：有敢证数学定理和写小说的，一律杖三十。其实杖三十的不光是数学和小说，还包括一切无用的想法。所以每个十字路口都有人在监督，见到有两眼发直的人走过来就把他拦住问道：你想什么来着？如果你是死了妈，或者是对眼天生两眼发直，就要街坊开出的证明。没证明一律要打。犯这种错误的净是男人，所以衙门里打男人的衙役算重体力劳动，每月供应五十斤带皮的谷子，比打女人的多了十斤。 至于李卫公夫妇吃多少斤定量倒是不难考证，他们两口子的定量都在五千石以上，每人一个月的粮食，一百口大肥猪吃一年都吃不完。每个月初用一百辆粮车拉到卫公家里来，他睁着一只眼出去点收之后，就全卖到粮店里去了。他配给自己这么多粮食不是因为他是个大饭桶，而是他是全城最有用的人。直到不久之前、我还吃三十二斤粮食定量。这说明我很不受重视，比打女人屁股的人还没有用处。但是我对这一点并不在乎。我只在乎自己是不是很有趣。小孙说，对对，有趣，有趣！Wow!她用腿死命的夹我，并且乱撕我的头发。我当然知道这是怎么回事，但我认为她是乱打岔。我有趣可不是只在那个地方。也许我该找个女数学家做老婆，她一听说我证出了费尔马定理，就性欲勃发，跑到卫生间换上性感内衣。不过女数学家可不太多，偶尔有几个长得也不好看。现在我搜索枯肠，只想起了一个女数学家，叫做某某某某娅，不是波兰人就是俄国人，贡献在概率论方面。她要是还活着，没有一百也有九十了，所以不能指望她。假如不是这姓孙的勾引我，我可以谁都不指望。现在已经不能后侮了。女人这东西就如海洛英，染上了就放不开。 我因为投递费尔马定理的证明和小孙闹翻了，她一见到我就说：你和你那个一百多岁的俄国老太太做爱去，我不勾引你！然后就在我面前把自己的房门摔上了。你知道，我是个勤勤恳恳，任劳任怨的人，虽然自己心情很坏，又受了她的刺激，但还是恍恍惚惚地把厕所刷了。过了一会，忽然想到厨房也很脏，就去刷了锅台。这些事证明了我心地善良，但是姓孙的却在门后笑。后来她打开房门，说：混帐！还不快滚进来。有一件事我很满意，就是无论厕所还是锅台，后来我都没再刷。而且我还发现她的腰很细，在一片昏暗的灯光下就像一座白白的小窄桥，我从上面从容地走了过去。她的腿又细又长，非常好看，翘起来时绷直了脚尖，好像芭蕾舞女，非常的优美。这跟她练过艺术体操有一定关系。我这样说，是因为我很坏，从小就没守过规矩，长大了又没有干好过任何事。我死了以后肯定要进地狱，但是还没有死。根据一切标准，都该把我的屁股打烂，它也没有烂。不但如此，我还在和一个相当美丽的女人做爱，她因为我喜欢数学而仇恨我，但我还是骑在了她身上。我对世界都充满了恶意，但我未受惩罚。我占了很大的便宜。小孙说，你正在满足我的需要，占便宜的是我。但她是装神弄鬼。事毕她哭了起来。本来我应该想道：我把她气哭了，我又占了便宜。但是我又想：不能够这样心肝全无。我在黑暗里陪她坐了一会，然后说：好罢，别哭了。我去再刷厕所。但是她一把揪住我说：难道你非要把我气死吗？我说：不把你气死该怎样呢？她说：搂着我躺一会。这件事我会做，于是就这样躺下了。躺下以后她又哭了一会，然后不哭了，问我说：从什么时候开始你就是个二百五？我说：十岁。想了一会又说：三岁。她猛地翻过身来骑住我，抄起一条长筒袜子勒住我的脖子，喝道：说你爱我，不然勒死你。我说：我是个二百五。她说：不管你是不是二百五。我就说了。与此同时，有个毛扎扎的东西顶在我后心上。这也没有什么，反正现在是阴盛阳衰。有一件事我必须说明白，我说自已是个坏蛋是往我脸上贴金——我坏起来没心没肺，根本是个糟蛋鬼。我成天失魂落魄，做坏事也做得很糟。我在床上抱住她——双人床很大，就是让两个人躺的，她身上很光滑，就是让人抱的——心满意足，进入了梦乡。 我说的这整件事都有不合常理的地方，所谓的不合常理，就是它不合现实世界的常轨。在现实世界里有个数学家王二在证费尔马定理，证了十年没证出来，这是合乎常轨的。假如他证了出来，无法发表也合乎常轨。气得昏头涨脑地回家，把论文手稿烧了，这也合乎常轨。最后有个漂亮女邻居和他做爱，安慰了他，这就是不合常情。合乎常情的说法是他在绝望中手淫甚至自杀。还有一件不合常情之处，就是那论文的手稿我有两份，烧了的是复写稿。从小孙那面来说，像她那样的单身女人，所到之处都有常理在，但那是她的事，我不大清楚。回到家里，邻居住了一个糟蛋鬼，这是她不合常理的最后机会。用她自己的话来说，就是：“我没什么可挑的了”。好在我们俩又吵又闹，已经使这件事尽量的合情合理了。 有关情理，还有一点补充。假设我们俩两情相悦，欲望如火，但是始终克制，不逾矩。直到某位头头或者某位长者注意到了这一点，站出来给我们撮合——这样就像一台合情合理的电视剧。但是也可能没有这样的头头和长者出来撮合，这样的剧情不合情理，却能让我们倒一辈子的霉。对于情理这样的东西，我们不可以太天真。 Fives 最近我出了好几次差，比方说，去开学刊会。我兼着《数理化》的数学编辑，这种事是推不掉的。走到火车站里，闻见一股尿骚气，大家横七竖八地躺了一片，这股气味就是从人身上冒出来的。古怪的是厕所里没有这样的味，只是觉得杀眼睛。车厢里热得厉害，简直是蒸笼，所有的人都在不停地吃东西，把蛋皮、果皮扔下车去。所以我想到应该把培育中的猪牵上车来喂，因为坐火车是这样的刺激食欲。到了这种时候就想到自己应该成为人瑞———售票处挂着牌子，凭十四级介绍信售给软卧包厢票，据我所知，人瑞相当于行政十三级。所以我又把费尔马定理的证法尽量简化，期望别人一看就能承认。人只要做过了行人，就会发生一些改变，不论古今。 我当了人瑞后（这事的详情见后），也行万里路出了一次国，去美国参加一个数学年会，是和加州伯克利一块去的。提着大箱小箱，穿过了海关机场，既晕机又晕时差。然后穿上了不合身的西服，到会场上坐得笔直，十句话里倒有九句听不懂，感觉实在是很不好。影影绰绰听见加州伯克利说，费尔马定理是他和我一道证出来的。很想驳他几句，却只有干瞪眼的份儿，因为舌头落在家里了。开完了会我跑到三个X的电影院里躲了一夜（这是因为不想看见加州伯克利），决心以后再也不出来。等到回到了家里小孙说我的模样变了。原来是一副浑浑噩噩、天真未凿的样子，现在风尘仆仆、眼露凶光，很是成熟。这说明人都是在路上成熟的。 现在可以说说我怎么成了人瑞，以及费尔马定理是怎么发表的。我们系里那个加州伯克利的副主任找到我说：听说你证出了费尔马？我回答说：对。他说：拿给我看看。我说：不。他又说：你不要保守，也有自己证错了还不知道的情况。我心里说：小子，论爷们你还得叫我大叔！但是也不能不给他看。据说他看完以后说：不管怎么说，他也没去加州伯克利留过学——这就是说我证对了。假如我证错了的话，准是这么说：先去伯克利留了学，再来证费尔马——仿佛费尔马定理和加州伯克利是拴在一起的。后来系里出了证明，论文在校刊上登出来。以后我总算成了一个校级的人瑞，每月可以多得一百块钱，这比我以前指望的要少，纯数学没有以前值钱了，不管怎么说，对别人总算有了交待。但是我心里非常不高兴，不知自己这辈子干了些什么；在我当过的扒土的人，变态分子，头发灰白形容枯槁的人，和我现在当着的人瑞之间有什么关系。我只做到了人瑞，还没有当上头头。假如当上了头头，还不知该会怎样的晕头胀脑。 等到我也成为了人瑞，才知道自己过去的浅薄。原来我以为是头头的人，也只不过是些人瑞。我现在作为“有突出贡献的中青年学者”，也能够出席一些头面人物的会，会场上不光有过去常在我后心上击一猛掌的黑胖子（我后心现在天阴时还有点麻痒），有险些把我送去卖咸鱼的加州伯克利，还有书记，有校长，还有些更有头有脸的人物。我们系里那两个头头到了这种地方就掏出了笔记本，听见一句不咸不淡的话就马上记下来。头头——他们哪里配。我自己到了这种地方也不敢睡觉了，甚至连想入非非都不敢，只敢瞪大了双眼，等着校长的目光扫到我脸上就装出个会心的微笑。与此同时，我生理上也发生了重大的变化：原来一上午要尿三次尿，现在长到了六次。原来每周要和小孙做三到四次爱，现在减到了一次，而且在这唯一的一次里也不够硬，这使我暗暗心惊：原来仰之弥高，钻之弥坚的东西，当了人瑞就如此的不行，要是当了头头，岂不是要缩回去？ 最近加州伯克利又升了一级，当上了理学院的副院长。他找到了我，管我叫老王（这是当了人瑞的好处，否则就是王二），说要和我合写文章。他还解释说，我的文字很好，总能把乱糟糟的理论说得很清楚，他自己的文字原本也很好，但是现在英文太好，中文就退化了。我听了以后也没有什么话说。我们俩合写了一本教科书，那本书里百分之百的段落全是我写的。现在正在写第二本，伯克利还答应在学术委员会里施加影响，让我早日评上教授。对此我没有什么可说的，只有一句话：生活就是这样的。假如我不遇上一位懂数学的副主任，费尔马证出来也是白证。以中国人总数之大，智商之局，谁都觉得应该做出恒河沙数的成绩。但是掰指头一算，也算不出什么。这就是原因之所在罢。 我现在正在写一本数学史专著，名叫《中国无算式》，这个名字是从雷马克《西线无战事》里变出来的。所谓算式，就是英文algorithm，也可以叫作程式。这本书的内容是说中国的数学有问题，有答案，但是没有算法算式。凡是研究过《九章算术》、《周易算经》的人，都会同意这个结论——比方说，勾三股四弦五，勾三股四是问题，弦五是答案，算式不见了。这里面涉及到了一个带本质的问题，就是中国人认为算式就是人本身，所以没法把它写出来。举例言之，一个人会开平方，他不是以为自己学会了开平方的程式，却以为自己身体（准确地说，是在心脏部位）有某种构造，以致能够开平方，因此就没有开平方的程式，如果你硬要这个程式，就只好开膛破腹，把心脏血糊淋拉地掏出来给你看。同理，假如要在勾三股四和弦五之间写出个算式，就只能把个大活人捆在那里。这是个带有根本性的发现，可以解释很多数学之外的问题。加州伯克利没作过数学史方面的研究，甚至不知道雷马克是谁，却硬要把名字署在我前面。而且我不让他署也不行了，因为所有的人都知道我是他的研究伙伴和助手，所以就算我在稿子上没写他的名字，也会有人不容分说地添上。 再次写到这一段时，距我证出费尔马定理已有一年了。一切都是去年夏天发生的事：我和小孙从合居到同居，写完了，发表了数学论文，当了人瑞。这一切已经经过了一个烟雾腾腾的冬季和一个忽冷忽热的夏季。这本小说原来就到这里为止。在我看来，一切线索都已完备。有李靖，他才智超群，性格天真，探索人生，等待机会；有红拂，姿容绝代，在石头花园里终日徘徊，偶尔也出去看看；有虬髯公，和红拂合居，并把这看做头头们对他的考验。还有我和小孙。只有一点没有明确地写出来，但它是不言而喻的——我们大家都有所期待，就如出席一个没滋没味的party，之所以不肯离去，是在等待一个意外惊喜。后来我证出了费尔马定理，他们从城里逃走，这party就结束了。再写什么纯属多余。 在我看来，大干世界芸芸众生，无不在做白日梦。乞丐在做黄金梦，光棍在做美女梦，连狗都会梦到吃肉而不吃屎。一个数学家梦想证出个大定理，也是合情合理。在这个世界上总有一点可能好梦成真，但也可能不成真就到了梦醒时分。我们需要这些梦，是因为现实世界太无趣。我现在已经没有了梦想，但还活在人世上；因此风尘三侠逃出了洛阳城，故事还远没有结束。