Chapter 47 Part III.5.2

Even Hu Bingchen turned pale when he said it, "People like Xu Dezhang reject all people who are not in this circle, and isolate and stigmatize rebels, such as me, so there are very few mavericks." His final capitulation is understandable. Where did Wu Wei marry Hu Bingchen?She married Hu Bingchen's castle. She was restless day and night, terrified, nervous, and all rhythms were chaotic. She also has to swell her face and pretend to be fat, to show people that she finally got the fate of three lives, that she is very happy, that she is an elegant woman who is cared for by her husband all day long, not an unkempt and all-round slave.Wu Wei's performance in bed is not perfect, and he can't fully devote himself, which is not unrelated to this state of mind.

That time when Hu Bingchen and Du Yali discussed frigidity and similar issues, Wu Wei, who was still an old-fashioned woman, felt that the two of them were mocking her behavior in bed. When Wu Wei saw an article on sexual frigidity in a magazine, he felt that he had found a theory to justify himself, so he tried to talk to Hu Bingchen about one of the "very" ones: "Listen, '... One of the main reasons is that the pace of life is too fast and the result of extreme physical and mental fatigue...'It's not just what you and Du Yali said." I thought that with such a scientific basis, I would get Hu Bingchen's sympathy.However, Hu Bingchen dismissed both her and the scientific theories in the magazines with nowhere to escape: "What is the pace of life too fast? What is the extreme physical and mental fatigue?... You asked for trouble!"

Falling in love and marrying Hu Bingchen is not the biggest trouble she has asked for! When I saw an article about how women can inspire men to be sexually excited, I laughed mockingly, threw the newspaper down, and thought, I am too tired, anyway, she can't tire herself like this. Although Ye Lianzi suffered from an incurable disease, she did not necessarily die that early. She really couldn't bear to watch her daughter being beaten to the bone bit by bit. Hu Bingchen's comrades-in-arms, Bai Fan, and his sons and daughters could treat Wu Wei so unscrupulously. The root problem lies with Hu Bingchen.If Hu Bingchen could stand up and say a few words for Wu Wei, how dare they treat her like this?Including his Du Yali.

Hu Bingchen is too primitive, "I", "I", "I", even the rich young masters in the old society are not like this.Look at those cats again, when the female cat gave birth to kittens, the male cat was still anxiously running around the female cat, licking this and that, what a "big man" after all! Objectively speaking, they all played Wu Wei. Look at how tired Wu Wei is—with disheveled hair, gloomy complexion, and bloody legs, and he said to Ye Lianzi with a smile, "That policeman is really nice; I thought he would have to scold me." In order to go to the international post office to mail an application form for a foreign foundation to Furong, I almost got into a car accident.

Fu Rong fell out with her lover again, and every time she fell out with her lover, she asked Wu Wei to give her another chance to go abroad, thinking that if she was so excited, her lover would feel remorse.They do not fill in the forms themselves, and Zenyue or Hu Bingchen will do it for them.She would not pay attention to what information Fu Rong needed to add.It cannot be said that Fu Rong is too ruthless in ordering others, but that her talk of going abroad is just a cold war against her lover. Once the situation turns for the better, maybe Fu Rong will go back on her sweet words from her lover, just like Hu Bingchen's sweet words made Wu Wei's countless determinations come to naught.Fleur, who was born in a political family, faced the ruthlessness of men, and like ordinary women, she completely lost herself.

Up to now, Wu Wei already knows that she will never be treated kindly by Fu Rong, but she has never been clear how much of the "debt" owed to Fu Rong has been repaid.As long as Furong pays the bill, she can always get the repayment she expected, and she wished that Furong would give her this opportunity to repay. Wu Wei spent much more energy on Furong than on Chanyue.Chanyue's study abroad was all due to her own efforts, and she never let her go through a relationship. This time Wu Wei was in a difficult situation, "I have contacted you so many times in the past, but in the end you didn't go, your friends helped for nothing, and your connections were exhausted. Now I really can't open my mouth to ask for help."

This time, Furong Qian and Wan promised: "If you think of a way again, I will take it seriously this time." Very sincere. I am also someone who has been there before, and I can fully understand the pain of Furong being played by her lover. Seeing that she is so urgent and wants to escape this love disaster that has lasted for more than ten years, Wu Wei promised to find a way. The United States and Canada can't do it anymore, so they have to turn to friends in Europe. Fortunately, a certain foundation heard back, and Wu Wei personally went to the international post office to mail the application form for Furong.

In a hurry, Wu Wei pedaled his bicycle very fast, even running through red lights.She also knew that even so, there was not much time left, just a few minutes.But for the Hu family, Wu Wei is too loyal. Soon after arriving at the International Post Office, Wu Wei ran a red light again, and a large turning truck roared towards her. The car fell down firmly and landed at the intersection.Because she was wearing shorts, her legs were bleeding immediately, and she ignored the policeman at the intersection who saw her breaking the rules. She held her head and covered her face, and sat at the intersection unable to get up.Unexpectedly, when the police saw her fall pitifully, not only did they not punish her, but they even picked up the straw hat that had rolled far away for her, and asked, "Are you okay?" Wu Wei had never heard such a thing for a long, long time. It's a simple sentence.The pain didn't make her cry, and the danger didn't make her cry, but this sentence of love from a stranger made her cry.

Back home, Hu Bingchen only asked, "Have you sent it?" As for Wu Wei's leg injury, he didn't seem to see it. Hu Bingchen can't be blamed for being ruthless, not only is he still angry, but he hasn't vented the anger accumulated in his heart in recent days. The reason was that when he went to the international post office to mail the application form of Furong, he was very rude to the staff, and there was another quarrel, and the other party said that the receiving city was unknown and could not be delivered.Since Fu Rong refused to fill out the application form herself, Hu Bingchen had to do it for her.

Where did a deputy minister do such trivial paper work?I don't know how to use a typewriter, so I use one finger to poke on the keyboard of the typewriter.A typewriter is not like a computer. If you make a mistake, you will make a mistake. There is no room for modification. Hu Bingchen has to start over again and again, and waste paper is thrown all over the floor. Every time he made a mistake, Hu Bingchen would roar like a tiger.Wu Wei said fearfully, "Can I type it for you with a computer?" He roared angrily: "Get out!" Then he continued to hold back in the room stubbornly, and finally typed out the application form.

With such a furious heart, can you treat the staff of the post office well?Even to his wife Wu Wei, he said "Get lost!" Wu Wei had to go to the post office to coordinate. With the result, Furong stopped going again.It was expected not to go, but I didn't expect that Furong would ask her like this: "What do you mean, you insist on forcing me to go abroad?" It seems that Hu Bingchen has hundreds of millions of private property and is afraid that Furong will share it. Wu Wei just didn't know how to answer, "Didn't you ask me to do it?" But Wu Wei was still shameless, and he didn't want to see the opportunity easily lost, so he continued to persuade, "You see, the matter has been done. If it’s like this, let’s go, even if it’s a trip.” "If I don't go, I just won't go. I don't have the spare money to spend on this trip." "Didn't I save a sum of money for you? At the beginning, I said that you would use it as travel expenses when you study abroad, and wait until you get married if you don't go abroad." "Why should I use your money?!" Regarding this money, Hu Bingchen often mentioned it, always saying: "Let's return that money to you." "Well, since you said Fleur doesn't need it, I'll donate it to the 'Project Hope'." "If you donate to Project Hope, I'll spend it all." "As you please." The money caused too much trouble, but the discussion about the money always ended in nothing. Wu Wei turned his head to Hu Bingchen, hoping that he could speak a fair word.He was not only there at the time, but he is also there now. He personally saw that Fu Rong told Wu Wei to contact her to go abroad. .After Fu Rong left, Wu Wei dared to ask: "What happened to you father and daughter? Didn't you ask me to contact her to go abroad? Why is it now that I force her to go abroad?" Hu Bingchen replied: "Hey, Fu Rong You are still a child, why bother with a child!" Fu Rong, who is in her forties, when will she grow up?Wu Wei is really envious of whip Rong, if only Hu Bingchen could be so lenient towards him. It's not that Furong is tricky.Who made Furong grow up in such a family? If she was like a commoner girl, she was only looking out for love, not the lover's "successful youth"; Her poetic feelings of a girl were ruined in the constant watch.The lover's market is bullish, but the rope on the yoke is getting tighter and tighter, just like Hu Bingchen, who was still on the job back then, had no choice between love and future, and never mentioned the possibility of divorcing his wife and marrying Furong. thing.And Furong's youth is fading away, their prospects are getting more and more bleak, how can Furong be at ease? From the point of view of this painstaking watch, the whole Wuwei reappears the landscape of that year. After arranging Ye Lianzi's food and daily life, Wu Wei rushed back to Hu Laichen's place without stopping. Pick up some Wu Wei who died under the wheel, and let Ye Lianzi start to think about something. As soon as Wu Wei left the house, Ye Lianzi asked the little nanny to help her to the kitchen, and took out the notebook that Wu Wei bought herself on the day of marriage registration from under the rice jar.He took it back to the bedroom, wiped off the bran powder on the face, and turned it over from the beginning page by page. In fact, Ye Lianzi has not recorded Wu Wei's pain for a long time, because every record is what she saw with her own eyes or what Wu Wei said personally, and it is a knife carved in her heart... X month X day Although I am opposed to their marriage, but when I do get married, I still wholeheartedly do things for the good, and live for the good.For their first Spring Festival, the first New Year's Eve dinner, they bought dishes that they seldom eat; it was very expensive. We waited for a long time, and Hu didn't come until after nine o'clock in the evening.It turned out that he went to Bai Fan's place, saying that he was going to deliver a few fish sent by the agency. Wu asked, "When did you go?" He vaguely said: "When Bai Fan is not at home." But he didn't tell the specific time.Didn't Bai Fan go home to spend the Spring Festival with the children until he left? I served him a meal, and he just sat there, not even saying thank you.Isn't he a gentleman who says "thank you" in front of outsiders? X month X day Wu talked about Hu's persecution by Bai Fan and his opponents because he refused to betray him during his convalescence in Shanghai. Hu replied, "Why, why don't you let me beat Bai Fan hard?" Wu said: "Where did I mean that, I just want to hear you say to me 'Honey, you really love me!' I didn't expect that I would have to say it myself." Shouldn't he have asked Wu: "How did you live those years?" As long as Wu handed over one of his letters, what does this political game have to do with Wu? All the good people were left to him alone. X month X day Hu was hospitalized again, and Wu went to stay with him. Wu said that Hu started to scold her when she got up in the morning, and she had been scolding for several days and nights. "I don't like soy sauce. Why do you put soy sauce in the roast chicken? What are you so worried about? Are you deliberately not letting me eat enough?" "You are too democratic to the driver and the babysitter. I told you, don't say too much to the driver, otherwise he will get on his nose. But women and villains are difficult to raise. If you are close, you will not be inferior, and if you are far away, you will complain. Do you understand? I have used the driver for so many years, and I don’t have as many tricks as you. After all, I came from a petty citizen!” "Did you give the key to Furong? No, what happened? It's been a whole day since yesterday, and you can't spare a moment to give the key to Furong?... Last time I was hospitalized, she stayed with us for a while, There is no oil in the house, how can she live? Do you know that there is no oil? How do you manage your family?" "Xu Dezhang and the others came here a few days ago to see how flattered you are. You are my wife and a writer. They used to be my subordinates. Why do you have no identity and no airs when you meet them?!" "Furong is a master now, what if I don't have good clothes?" "There are a lot of good-looking clothes on the street, and I even bought a few for Zenyue." "Fleur won't buy it." "Okay, I'll buy it for her." "The sandals you bought for her in Hong Kong ruined her feet." "She told me she wore a size thirty-eight, and I bought a size thirty-eight." "The pearl necklace you bought for Fleur is also missing one." Could it be that Wu would pick one off, eat it, and sell it? In the afternoon, a call came into the ward, Wu answered, and the other party asked, "Who are you?" Wu said: "I am Hu Bingchen's lover. May I ask who are you?" "I am Bai Fan, come get the chicken soup." "Okay, you can talk to Bing Chen, if he needs it, I'll get it right away." Hu answered the phone and said: "Someone here delivers food every day, no need, thank you." "Someone" delivers food! "Someone"! In the past, Hu told Wu that when he was sick, Bai never cared about his life, and even had a myocardial infarction. Hu was only admitted to the hospital yesterday, how did Bai know the hospital's phone number right away? Hu said to Wu, "It was Furong who told her the phone number, maybe it wasn't." Then he said, "Go home and pay the phone bill. You don't have to come to the hospital after paying the phone bill. There's no need to run back and forth." Because Bai wanted to visit Hu in the hospital. x year x month x day The daughter of an old comrade-in-arms of Hu visited.Her husband was a Chinese American who died suddenly of illness. She notified her ex-wife's children in the United States and Hong Kong to come to discuss arrangements for the funeral. As a result, they took away all the property and the bank safe key. She came here to ask Hu for advice on how to fight for the inheritance. Hu said: "You shouldn't have informed his children at all, you should get everything first." Those children are wrong, but Hu's idea is not necessarily good.If Wu Wei died suddenly, would he treat Chanyue and me in the same way? x month x day x year Hu asked Wu to buy him a camel-colored wool vest. Wu walked from Dongsi to Dongdan and Wangfujing in the cold wind, entering every store he saw, and finally bought a camel-colored vest with a braided pattern on the front.After working so hard to get home, Hu disappeared, so he went to have lunch with Bai Fan.After returning, not only did not give an explanation, but also disliked that the vest that Wu Wei bought was too old, saying: "I told you to want a camel wool vest, but I didn't say that I wanted this braided pattern. This pattern is too old. , wear it yourself, I don’t wear this kind of thing.” X month X day Ask Wu to find out the whereabouts of the two nieces for him when he passes through Hong Kong, "I heard that one of them is married to a tycoon. If you find them, let them entertain me to Hong Kong for fun." Wu said: "I'm not in the country this summer, you can go to Beidaihe to recuperate by yourself." Hu said: "You are not here, what's the point of me going alone? I will only go if I am with you." In the evening, Wu received a call from a certain minister: "Tell Lao Hu, I saw our building number in Beidaihe in the Veteran Cadre Bureau. Lao Hu is Building No. 3, and I am Building No. 7. Let him find me to play cards." After Wu relayed the old Minister's phone call, Hu paused for a while and said, "I haven't gone to Beidaihe with Furong to share family happiness for many years. This time I want to stay with her." acting? X month X day Wu returned home today.Because my place is relatively close to the airport, I visited my place first and didn't dare to stay longer, so I rushed to Hu's place.As soon as she entered the door, Fu Rong said, "Where have you been, and you are only coming home now?" "I went to see my mother first, and I don't know how she is doing these days when I am not here." Fu Rong didn't listen, and turned to the living room.Wu flattered and brought them the gifts brought back from abroad one by one. She threw the wine glass that Wu brought back from abroad. The glass was broken and said to Hu: "Oh, I'm sorry. Wu Wei brought this back from abroad." X month X day banquet.Fu Rong and Hu took the main seat, and Wu Wei was squeezed into a corner.Fu Rong gave dishes to the guests one by one, saying, "Dad, you can eat this chicken leg, and uncle, you can eat this chicken wing..." When it was Wu's turn, Cai Rong looked at it and picked up a chicken butt.Wu didn't want to eat chicken butt, so he had to continue to put it on the plate. Then Fu Rong talked to the guests: "My mother is very kind, and she also helped the driver's wife find a job. The driver told me that he always thought my mother's family was Hu's. Do you think it's strange?" The guests laughed inconveniently. "Haha" is an answer that can be explained in any way. Wu also accompanied Haha, but Hu refused to let her hide behind Haha, and didn't give Wu a chance to save face. In this way, everyone has a legitimate opportunity to see her embarrassed face. X month X day You came to my place yesterday and made a big fuss.Yin Wu went to repair the "agate" necklace that Hu gave her.It was just a glass necklace imitating agate, which Wu had always cherished because it was a gift from Hu, and he had to take it with him when he went abroad this time. There was a traffic jam on the road, and Wu came home late, so Hu came to my place and made a big fuss, asking me: "Where did Wu Wei go, neither here nor with me, did he go on a tryst with his lover?" I couldn't say anything, and I didn't dare to say anything, for fear of affecting their relationship, I could only coax this man four years younger than me like a child: "Don't be angry, don't be angry, she won't come back for no reason." Didn't say "Be good, be good, listen to your mother!" Hu threw my tea pot to the ground and said, "This is the daughter raised by you petty bourgeois and upstarts!" Seeing Wu finally came back, the mischief intensified.Wu coaxed him to his bedroom, knelt on the ground, rubbed his chest, and begged for mercy: "I'm going to repair the necklace you gave me." But Hu didn't believe Wu's explanation at all, until I went to invite him to eat dumplings, Wu was still kneeling on the ground. Seeing my daughter kneeling down and begging for mercy like this really made my heart ache. Hu took a bite of the dumplings and left without eating.Wu and I stood facing each other at a loss, not knowing what bad luck would be waiting for Wu, nor how to relieve her anxiety. Sure enough, I received a call from Furong early in the morning, "What did you do yesterday made my dad suffer from a high fever all night, and he went to the hospital early in the morning." Wu was startled.Hu was still full of energy when he was making a scene here yesterday, why did he suddenly have a high fever?Wu discussed with me that if Hu was seriously ill, she would definitely cancel this trip, no matter how important this trip was to her career and how important it was to go to the United States to attend the graduation ceremony in December. Immediately call Air France, "My husband suddenly fell ill and may have to cancel the plan. If the ticket is refunded, what should I do?" "If you make a decision before three o'clock in the afternoon, you can call the Air France office. After three-thirty, please call the airport registration office." I looked at my watch. By three o'clock in the afternoon, Wu still had seven or eight hours.The traffic was heavy, and the bicycle was lent to a neighbor. Wu couldn't rush to the hospital to see her immediately, so she called Furong again, saying that she couldn't make it to the hospital for a while, and asked her to inform her of Hu's condition in time so that she could decide her itinerary. Just as he put down the call to Furong, Hu came in with a smile, "I just have a recurrence of prostatitis." The so-called high fever overnight, went to the hospital early in the morning, is it true or false? Hu's safety and smiling face moved Wu so much that he forgot what he did yesterday. Maybe Hu Liang had a good heart and brought a can of tea; he said to Wu: "I knocked over your mother's tea, and now I will pay her a can." Even if I didn't say "I'm sorry", it's still an apology.We are used to being bullied by him, and Konya's ability to do this has greatly exceeded my expectations. Wu was flattered to deal with Hu, unable to say goodbye to her mother before the long journey, which was a habit she had developed since she was a child.But she dared not and could not spare a minute for me. x year x month x day Wu Bian was far away from home, so I had to ask Hu to help me go through the formalities for going abroad.Due to his old age, he was unable to take the bus, but Hu was not bad, so he took me for a ride in his special car.The car seat was very short, and my hands and feet were inconvenient. I couldn't get up from the car seat and get out of the car, and I couldn't open the car door. I didn't give me a hand when I saw it. I got out of the car and stood more than 20 meters away to struggle with me.I was very anxious, but I didn't dare to call him. Later, the driver couldn't stand it anymore, opened the door for me, and helped me out of the car. x month x day x year The nanny left, Wu also fell ill, and said nonsense: "You are so sick, I can't be left alone to take care of you, I'd better find a nanny." Wu thought it would be better to go to the nanny market with Hu in his special car, and take him directly to the nanny after finding the nanny. Wu asked, "Can you come with me?" "cannot." Wu had no choice but to get up and go to the nanny market to find a nanny.It was snowing heavily, and the wind was blowing hard.I found someone from Shandong, and taught the nanny the most basic housework and Hu Bingchen's favorite food. He said that he was in better health, and he would give me more guidance.Braving the wind and snow to send the nanny to Hu, and then came back to me, because she was seriously ill and needed my care. I am old, but I can still take care of my daughter with all my heart.Wu had a high fever that night, and Hu didn't come to visit after he knew about it. Finally, he didn't find any trouble with Wu again, so Wu was satisfied. Where are these notes, this is a "changing account". It can also be seen that Wu Wei said everything to Ye Lianyu. These things were just written down one by one at the time, but looking at them together now, they are simply the reappearance of Gu Qiushui's ghost.It hurts Ye Lianzi's heart to see it, it hurts so much!What a rebellious daughter has been tortured! When she found that Hu Bingchen's soft knife was no more humane than Gu Qiushui's hard knife, she knew that Wu Wei's time had come.Poor Wu Wei, there will be no bright future. Her illness can't get better, it can only get worse day by day, but waiting to die in bed, this way of life not only makes her feel tired, Wu Wei is even more tired.What's the point of being alive?It was nothing more than watching Wu Wei drain her life little by little under Hu Bingchen's torment, but he was helpless.She is old, if she is not old, she can fight for Wu Wei. Since Wu Wei cannot be rescued, how can he bear to let Wu Wei, who is in dire straits, continue to carry himself behind his back?Without her, the burden on Wu Wei's shoulders would change from double to one. Wouldn't that be the liberation of Wu Wei? Without her among them, Hu Bingchen might be able to treat Wu Wei better, and Wu Wei's life would be easier. Good to die, I can't see anything, I don't know anything... Two days later, Ye Lianzi asked the little nanny to take her into the kitchen, lit a fire, leaned on the little nanny, tore off the "change account" page by page, lit each page, and turned each page into ashes.If the little nanny has read it, she will know that big things are not good.But where did the little nanny read it? Ye Lianzi found the opportunity. On the day she was admitted to the hospital for emergency treatment, she pulled out all the life-supporting tubes in her body. Ye Lianzi just wanted to get rid of Wu Wei, but she didn't understand that she was Wu Wei's only medicine in this world.Once she lets go, who can give Wu Wei a little treatment?Who can give Wu Wei a little love? What's more, she didn't understand that her departure not only failed to free Wu Wei, but even pushed Wu Wei to a dead end, and Wu Wei was doomed.Her body may still be there, but in the real sense of "alive", Wu Wei is dead. The hospital said they called home, but no one answered.Perhaps at that time Wu Wei had just been scolded by Hu Bingchen and was crying bitterly in the park. In the end, can Wu Wei not hold onto Ye Lianzi? She rushed up and shook the ignorant Ye Lianzi: "Mom, wake up, wake up!" Ye Lianzi could no longer wake up. What should she do? From now on, in this world, no one will listen to her, know her, or support her. What kind of horror would the future be without Ye Lianzi?She will have to face the torture and bullying of Hu Bingchen and others alone, and she will have nowhere to confide in, and the bitterness will drown her immediately. No, no, Mom, you can't leave me alone!You come back, you come back to me! Wu Wei rushed forward and smashed Ye Lianzi's buttocks with his fist, but Ye Lianzi still couldn't wake up.She jumped up and slapped Ye Lianzi on the face again, shouting wildly: "Mom, wake up, wake up!" Ye Lianzi still couldn't wake up.However, what is very strange is that at this time, a thick and heavy tear seeped from Ye Lianzi's left eye, hanging under the left eyelid - it seemed that it was not a tear, but the last drop of essence oozing from the body, This surprised Wu Wei.I don't know if this tear is the echo of Mo He's single tear when he passed away? It's just that Ye Lianzi's tears are very cloudy, while Mo He's tears are clear and bright. Ye Lianzi hadn't shed tears for many years, but now she shed a drop.Although she was not breathing, this tear should be said to be the last tear in her life.Ye Lianzi cried all her life, but she never thought that when she left this world, she would not be able to walk quietly like those old people who died of old age.Before leaving, before leaving, I have to cry again. Almost all the tears she shed in her life came from the hurt of her loved ones, even the last tear was no exception. Isn't this tear also a call to Wu Wei for being unfilial? Wu Wei lay on Ye Lianzi's face, sucking that turbid tear into his lungs, hoping to keep Ye Lianzi's tear in his heart forever. When Wu Wei woke up a little bit, he realized that Ye Lianzi had pulled out all the life-saving tubes on his body! It turned out that Ye Lianzi intended to do this! "Mom, you just took away the last and only piece of wood under my feet that kept me from sinking. Why are you so cruel? So decisive?" The world is so big, but Wu Wei has nowhere to stay.She has a house, but no home. This is a wound on Wu Wei's life that can never be healed. It will not end until the end of her life, and it may be brought to the next life. Ye Lianzi is gone, her suffering and herself will never stand between Wu Wei and all men again.But Wu Wei walked out of the man's maze, and her hopes for this world and all the myths about men disappeared in a flash. Wu Wei also imagined that if she was given a new life, would life with Hu Bingchen be better? No, it's impossible.This is not something she can decide on her own. Her life starts from Ye Lianzi and continues.Even if Ye Lianzi is no longer here, she has to be responsible for completing it. Unless Ye Lianzi is given another life, another fate.Everything is owed by the previous life. Everything in the world happens for a reason. The grief of losing Ye Lianzi fills the rest of Wu Wei's life. If someone loves her and takes care of her, maybe she will get out of depression and not go crazy in the end. But no.She needs to grab something and use some external force, but now she is empty-handed and has nothing. No la! From then on, Ye Lianzi became the phantom in Wu Wei's tearful eyes, always shaking her arms, walking on her left, right, left, right, back and forth; Ye Lianzi's breath, which only Wu Wei could smell, was always scattered. around her... Wu Wei was absent-minded, flustered, and distracted, always feeling that there was an appointment waiting for her.Later I realized that it was her date with Ye Lianzi.Only by going to that appointment can her heart be settled. 4 Conversely, Hu Bingchen not only married Wu Wei, but also married Wu Wei's family. The difference is that Ye Lianzi didn't want the boat to leak or sink after it was done, and no matter what, everyone around Hu Bingchen wanted the boat to hit a rock and sink.Back then, Hu Bingchen and Wu Wei also hoped to grow old together, right?But there are too many factors around to tear them apart. So it's hard to say which of them abandoned whom. That day was calm and peaceful, but Wu Wei sang for no reason, as he did in the college student choir: "Ah, dear Anna Grigorievna! Ah, dear Anna Grigoryevna..." Hu Bingchen said, "What are you calling?" "I'm singing. Haven't you heard this song? From the Soviet film 'The Heart Is Singing', 'Listen...the heart is singing, singing of my love, singing of my happiness...singing dear Anna· Grigoryevna..." In a trance, I felt that this Anna Grigoryevna not only married Dostoevsky, who was more than 20 years older than her, but also married Dostoevsky and his gang relatives and friends. And this Anna Grigorievna, after all, has the ability to take Dostoevsky out of the country, far away from the devastation, and may even destroy her and Dostoevsky's sad and fragile love relatives and friends Let their love grow up and be strong enough, let her own spirit grow up and be strong enough, and mature enough to deal with them in all aspects, and then come back to face those relatives and friends. But she neither has that kind of economic foundation, nor does society provide her with that kind of possibility.She had no choice but to be crushed under this huge rock when her spirit hadn't grown up and was strong, and her technology was even poorer. accumulation conditions. She really is getting weirder and weirder. Hu Bingchen took Wu Wei to the psychiatric hospital out of concern, or because of Bai Fan's influence. Whenever he had angina pectoris, Bai Fan said it was faking. After returning from the psychiatric hospital, Wu Wei timidly said to Hu Bingchen before taking off his coat and purse, "I will never go to this kind of hospital again." "Why?" He asked in a sharp voice. "Those doctors are just curious. What can I tell them?" She looked into the air, thinking, can she tell everyone this chicken coop that was attacked by weasels? "No, you are indeed mentally ill, and now you need to see a doctor more often." Wu Wei burst into tears. She was not like this in the past, this is the achievement of Hu Bingchen and his colleagues in the past twenty years. "Why are you crying? It's not like killing you if you go to the hospital!" "No, I won't go!" Knowing that he couldn't escape Hu Bingchen's arrangements, Wu Wei wailed as if he wanted to tear himself apart, as he would every time he was wronged and choked by Hu Bingchen. The more I cried, the more I felt suffocated. I had to leave the room quickly, or I would suffocate to death.As soon as he bumped his head, he ran towards the street. Hu Bingchen reacted very quickly, and locked the door with a click. Wu Wei turned around and ran to the window again, regardless of whether the building is high or low, the important thing is to escape.Seeing that something was wrong, Hu Bingchen grabbed Wu Wei's leather bag strap and used his dark force.The belt of the leather bag was deeply cut into Wu Wei's neck, and she couldn't breathe even more. She let out a very strange cry, and there was also a blood mark on her neck - from the color of the blood mark, one can imagine Hu Bingchen's hands and feet! But who can say what?It can only be said that it is Hu Bingchen's love for Wu Wei.Wu Wei, who was delirious for a moment, felt no pain at all.Her peculiar cry alarmed the neighbors.Hu Bingchen let go of his hands when he heard that the neighbor next door had moved.Only then did I realize that the leather bag strap and leather had been disconnected from the body of the bag.It was a Dutch famous brand cowhide bag given to her by Chanyue, and its firmness would not be able to withstand Hu Bingchen's hands and feet. You don't need to ask anything, just look at Wu Wei's face and the purple mark on her neck, and you will know what Hu Bingchen has done-he really hates Wu Wei.Things have passed, and life is still the same, except for the blood mark on his neck, which refuses to disappear easily, Wu Wei has never thought of the issue of "domestic violence".Hu Bingchen will not replace language with violence like Gu Qiushui, a soldier, and his secret vigor towards Wu Weibian is nothing more than a burst of hatred that has been buried for a long time. Who made Wu Wei refuse to divorce! 5 You can't blame the "dry steamed buns" for being cold and hard. Wu Wei declined a service. In this windless, hot and dry afternoon with a high fever, coughing and wheezing so hard to breathe, and being swallowed by the disease, Hu Bingchen once again talked about Fu Rong's lover: "He is now a bureau-level cadre." She could still listen patiently, but in this sickly afternoon, she needed to be quiet, so she had to remind Hu Bingchen: "You told me already." Hu Bingchen looked at Wu Wei in astonishment, as if she had said something wrong. Then there is this "dry steamed bun". Is this the reason?Even if Wu Wei didn't say "you told me already", could Hu Bingchen be considerate of her? wishful thinking. Their relationship has been qualitatively shattered, not broken into several pieces, and there is no hope of repairing it. "It would have been nice if I had accepted my suggestion and lived together instead of getting married," Wu Wei said. Hu Bingchen turned around in embarrassment, time has passed, and now he still wants to settle that old debt! He lost his temper more and more, and he couldn't even say that he lost his temper but found fault.Once a man reaches the point where he finds fault with a woman at every turn, his weakness will be fully exposed.The sea of ​​people who have been bullied always hates the world and is always cruel, "I thought I was the worst person in the world, but I didn't expect anyone to be worse than me. If you are a man, you should have the courage to admit your mutation, and There is no need to use the method of finding faults to create an excuse for divorce. A man with a "kind" can change his mind, but he will not find faults." Wu Wei completely looked down on Hu Bingchen.Once you despise that man, you will no longer love him. Wu Wei is also despicable, unwilling to talk about divorce easily, because she really doesn't want to destroy an old dream that she has had for decades-her own old dream.It has nothing to do with Hu Bingchen, and it has nothing to do with love.想想二十多年的付出，想想无赖和痞子是怎样炼成的，实在太冤！ 她不明白，不赶快抽身，会输得更惨。 何止是制造离婚口实？胡秉宸是不愿承担再次离婚的责任，只好日以继夜地找茬儿。一旦吴为的忍受到了极限，自然就会先开口提出离婚。而吴为下定决心、排除万难，绝不让这个计谋得逞。反正她已经输光了，再也没有什么可输，不像胡秉宸，对未来还有打算。 哪怕胡秉宸急得上房揭瓦，吴为也不吵不闹，稳坐钓鱼台，最后像心中的安娜·格里戈里耶夫娜那样逃避国外。 胡秉宸鞭长莫及，离婚美梦难以尽快实现。一个又一个离婚圈套，一封又一封花言巧语求离的信，源源不断寄向国外。每每接到胡秉宸扔过来的套圈，吴为就偷着乐，也是了一个“我是流氓我怕谁”。 对峙几年，不但胡秉宸等不及，连他周边那些人也等不及了，只好再次承担起离婚的责任，虽然广为制造反咬一口的舆论，可是律师那里有记录。有了平复“安史之乱”的经验，无赖加痞子的吴为对“宋明理学”说：“你再这样颠倒是非，我就公布这些文字记录。”胡秉宸才闭了嘴。使胡秉宸闭嘴的原因当然不是吴为的威胁，真正的原因很快就会暴露出来。在他们长达二十多年的关系中，这是吴为惟一的胜利。想想在胡秉宸离婚案中，为胡秉宸冲锋陷阵、遮风挡雨的艰难岁月，真是没有白练。练成一个无赖和痞子有什么不好？ 如若没有这段婚姻，吴为又怎能接触胡秉宸的人生精华？ 得知杨白泉当选优秀党员，并得以进人中南海接受中央领导接见时，胡秉宸更是不无得意地对吴为说：“我儿子被选为优秀党员了，中央领导人还在中南海接见了他们。” 使吴为震惊的，不是胡秉宸说不清是不是自己儿子的杨白泉，一旦得到中央领导的接见突然又成了他的儿子； 也不是胡秉宸对芙蓉的情人忽而编派、忽而认可的无常； 她震惊的是如此区区小事，竟使她心目中那个处变不惊、总是站在时代潮流之巅的胡秉宸，忘乎所以！ 视仕途如敝屣的胡秉宸，什么时候改弦更张了？ 不但改弦更张，还不经意地流露出对权贵一份不薄的渴慕。 那时常挂在嘴上的宣言：“我永远是个最有活力的人，只要活着，就会利用各种机会、各种方式，为真理、为原则而奋斗。决心在我那本书中，对共产主义、对党的领导方式提出我的看法，这是没人敢碰的题目”，不过是大而空的回声。就像冒辟疆那个不应试、不应召、不做官的宣言，怕也是葡萄酸吧？不然为何不能忍受于嗣不能人仕的痛苦，晚年不惜人格的堕落，为儿孙的人仕拄杖奔走，终究不能逃脱仕途的诱惑？ 这还是她心目中的那个胡秉宸吗？ 千不该万不该，不该把到过革命圣地、参加过革命的胡秉宸等同革命呀！ 千不该万不该，不该因为胡秉宸对“那些王八蛋宗派主义分子，都是大地主出身的官僚和职业官僚”的一通臭骂，就把胡秉宸当做“大地主出身的官僚和职业官僚”里的另类！ 如此说来，胡秉宸与“那些王八蛋宗派主义分子”的矛盾，到底是出于公心还是私人成见？ 如此说栗，他过去对白帆的编派，有多少是真多少是假？反过来说，胡秉宸又错在哪里？ 先不说半途而废的李鸿章，就是改良先驱康有为、梁启超，归根结底不过一个洋务派。还有那些喝了几年洋墨水，荣归故里经营起指点江山大业的人们，本以为与当地土特产有什么原则上的区别，最终还不是假洋鬼子-个！ “李鸿章”不是早就启示人们：中国人只善改良，不善革命，即便动了真刀真枪，接下来还是改良。 改良又有什么不好？非得极端吗？ 既然胡秉宸早这块土地上土生土长的知识分子，他的理想不过是老家那幅“立德，立功，立言”的中堂，他的痛苦、失落、绝望，也只能在这个层面上展开。哪怕与吴为的关系，也无不带着这样的烙印。胡秉宸是不甘沉寂的，还是一个政治人，难免对潮流有着特别的癖好。退出政治舞台后，进入与吴为的情爱。这一爱情，不但对他那个阶层是“新生事物”，由于他和呆为的背景，也成为当时社会一个小小的“新浪潮”。胡秉宸自然将这场恋爱上升到政治高度，将单纯的男欢女爱对进许多社会内涵，在不知日后还有机会做红色资本家的情况下，把它看做是“成就此生”的最后一招棋，多次表示要以此惊世骇俗，再度领导一次新潮流。所以不能把吴为功成名就之后，胡秉宸才正儿八经追求她仅仅看做是虚荣，还有如此顺理成章的基础。没想到这一壮举，几年后就失去轰动效应，陷人沉寂。 更没有估计到他已经下车而吴为还在车上，他跑不动了而吴为还在飞跑，吴为不正常而他很正常这个差距。 吴为的地位、声誉，把已然退出舞台中央的胡秉宸又逼到了墙角。辉煌一生而又不甘沉寂的胡秉宸，失去了奋起直追的机会，只得面对传统，平衡男女关系的颠覆。 真是情何以堪，心何以甘？ 这样的生活岂止是不快活？ 好比他们婚后不久，某国大使为吴为新婚特地举办了一个午宴。昔日的副部长胡秉宸却受不了“随从”的身份，更加目中无人，眼睛看着天花板，大使先生想与他攀谈一下也无法攀谈…… 吴为说：“既然如此，又何必去参加这个宴会呢，我们完全可以找个理由辞谢。” “我得让那些洋人知道，他们尊敬的这个女人是我老婆！” 原来他是以货主身份出现，难怪一副奇货可居的样子。如果胡秉宸知道吴为的示爱方式，与他想像的差距是如此阔大； 如果他知道吴为根本不可能对他交出整个儿的心，永远不可能爱他胜于叶莲子； 如果他知道吴为是如此喜欢标新立异，凡事都要有自己的看法，甚至在某些问题上比他还略高一筹，而不像白帆那样唯唯诺诺，惟他为是； 如果他知道吴为是如此神经质，把不必要的事情看得那么重要； 如果他知道和吴为在一起的生活，如此之累、如此不得放松，回到家里也要扮演绅士、英雄，二十四小时都得在岗位上，没有下班的时限； 如果他知道吴为并不重视那证明他价值的爵位； 如果他知道一进入吴为的领域，他就如鱼“失”水，没有人再把他看做一个至高无上的权威； 如果他知道吴为竟然可以用那样穿透的目光审视他(虽然不说什么)…… ——他还会冲破重重阻力，和吴为结婚吗？ 其实以社会标准来说，不论在哪个社会，胡秉宸都是数一数二的优秀男人。 只是吴为太把胡秉宸当神，分配给他的责任太大了，并且把他固定在那个位置上，逼着他把那个角色永远扮演下去，不但对公众、对社会，甚至在家里都得维持那个高大、纯洁、辉煌、绅士的形象，这样的负担，世上没有一个男人担得起。人格的面具是沉重的。胡秉宸也心里明白，他早巳不能维持。他累了，这种不能将面具卸下哪怕一会儿的日子，太累了。对公众、对社会扮演一个好角色不难，关键时刻只要一次挺住，守住真理，宽容的人们会永远记住这个形象。而在家庭和两性之间就不那么容易。两性间的表现是最赤裸的、一点也粉饰不了的。 好比第一次看到胡秉宸穿着一条裤衩砸核桃吃，让吴为着实吃了一惊。那么她想没想过，她躺着刷牙、用手抓吃的、嘬手指头、满嘴大蒜味，胡秉宸的感觉又该如何？ 对男人，对婚姻，吴为是过于苛刻了。她若不打破“完美主义”的梦魇；不但自己无法生存，让她的男人也无法生存。在对二十世纪的最终裁判中，胡秉宸也好，吴为也好，根本谈不上什么先知先觉，不过都是大俗一个。 吴为实在不该为了一个夭折的英雄、一个夭折的爱情哭泣，而应该为他们并不具备的品格哭泣。 也许未来的世纪——如果还有一个未来世纪的话，也许人类根本就不可能具备那样的品格。也许人类的另一个名词就是“大俗”。这真让人悲哀，可也别无他法。 白昼渐渐熄灭了。 深夜，有了雨和风。残留在窗上的玻璃碎片，在风中钝锉地切割着各种各样能与人言说或不能与人言说的心底，再将它们随意拼接出无法想像的新意。这难道不是最有意趣的游戏？肮脏的窗帘在头颅上方，如不祥的黑鸟，在夜的黑暗中翻飞张扬。 在一次高烧和另一次高烧的间歇中，有孤独的口哨穿过空旷，在风雨中游走，飘忽。无爱无：根，无所回顾也无所期望，不怕鬼也不怕人，摇头晃脑、自满自足、自陶其乐地跳跃着…… 像这样一个夜牛三更吹着口哨，在雨地里穿行的人，还会不会问契诃夫或问自己：海是什么？ 第二天一早，吴为对胡秉宸说：“我病得越来越重了，必须回北京看医生。现在是旅游旺季，怕是买不到车票，你的司机能不能送我回去？” “不能。”发着高烧的吴为什么也没说，郑重地点了点头，装好地的行囊，挣扎着走到车站，买了一张站票。上车了。所幸有位旅客见她烧得红头涨脸，让她挤坐身旁。 搭着牛个屁股，在火车上桄荡了几个小时的吴为，回到北京后变了一个样。对胡秉宸来说，吴为到底还是一只花瓶，只不过是一只上档次的花瓶。孤注一掷地娶了吴为，很大程度上是为了红罗帐里的销魂梦。 针对这个很实际的男人的考虑，吴为亮出了对付男人的、几近无赖的法宝，极其恶毒地不给胡秉宸上那道大菜了。手段也极其恶劣，知道胡秉宸对大蒜的深恶痛绝，一到就寝之前就猛吃大蒜，让胡秉宸无法近身。 而且一上床就着。胡秉宸说：“你怎么像只猪一样，倒头就睡？” “杂志上不是说了？'……性冷淡的主要原因之一是生活节奏太快，体力精神极度疲劳的结果……'我太累了。” 从来不做亏本买卖的胡秉宸，照旧操练不误。但在做爱过程中，吴为竟睡着了。 这和奸尸有什么两样！ 还有哪个女人能像吴为这样冷酷？到了此时，他们所有的矛盾，汇集为最本质的斗争：让操还是不让操。 6 胡秉宸毫不含糊地杀了一个相当厉害的回马枪。 毫无敌情观念的吴为，结婚以后马上解甲归田，以为到了终点，便倾囊而尽，不留后手，好像那些到了家的人，还留什么行军粮！而不了解面前的胡秉宸，是早已脱胎换骨后的胡秉宸。尽管不时扮演一下绅土，读读原文版报纸，知道如何使用刀叉……岂不知就像一旦学会游泳或骑车，是一生不会丢弃的技术。白帆却没有一天放弃过对胡秉宸的争夺战。毕竟同生共死几十年，要比半路之妻吴为更知道如何对症下药。胡秉宸早已脱胎换骨，再不是胡家少爷，而是一名“老共”。白帆才不屑用胡秉宸当年请君人瓮的手段，从狄更斯、哈代、老舍……一步步向吴为切人，而是治根治本、对症下药—— 在胡吴二人共同生活的十年里，白帆让胡秉宸喝下的这汤药怕也有几吨了。 要不要吃回头草的问题，顺理成章提到日程上来。 想想“好马不呓回头草”的格言，有两个问题让胡秉宸颇费思量：一、像他这样的好马能不能吃回头草？二、会不会再度闹出社会丑闻？ 思量再三，觉得社会丑闻无论如何不会落到自己头上，毕竟沾了年龄的光，他与吴为的婚变，世人只能理解为一个年老体衰之人，被有不良“历史”、轻浮放荡的女人所抛弃。 将如此一匹好马逼得吃了回头草的恶行，该是何等罄竹难书！ 再说白帆十年来，孜孜不倦地为他吃回头草创造条件，恨不得八抬大轿请他回头呢。