Chapter 39 Part III.2.3

But Wu Wei refused to go to his research team no matter what. I don't know if Tong Dalei is working all day or not, he writes twice almost every day, and comes here almost every night. He increasingly regards Wu Wei's home as his own, and he doesn't care whether Wu Wei is at home or not.If Wu Wei was not around, he would talk non-stop to Ye Lianzi like a one-man show, causing Wu Wei to be very annoyed.She finally understood that she couldn't afford to be gentle, respectful and thrifty to this kind of man, so she had to write an imbecile letter—Comrade Tong Dalei: In view of some of your letters and actions, it is necessary for me to make the following statement:

1. We are in a working relationship, and I respect you as an "old comrade". 2. You once expressed your admiration for me, and I have also expressed my refusal many times. I should not repeat the old story, but your recent behavior makes it necessary for me to reiterate that you are a married man, and it is wrong to repeatedly express your admiration for other lesbians. Absolutely wrong. 3. Please don’t write any more letters or send any materials to me, let alone come to my house again.Please respect my request. Wu Wei In this way, it gave Tong Dalei another reason to write a letter - I just expressed my love to you, and I didn't ask for love or fall in love.Those who love each other dance with their arms around their waists and walk with arms hugged.But it seems that a person does not need the approval of the other party to express his love.There used to be a painting by Qi Baishi in my house.The letter said: "The prime minister returns to the field, and there is no money at the bottom of the box. I would rather be a thief than hurt the honesty." I love it very much.

I recently told a friend that I have to go to my wife's place every morning.There is a photo in the window outside the American embassy. A woman in her forties, wearing a long gown with a purple velvet edge, holding a one-year-old girl in her arms, sitting in the garden, quiet and kind, I like it very much. Every morning when I get up and run, I think of this photo. After running two kilometers, I always stop by the window to take a look.It's all a kind of love.As long as I don't steal someone's or change its image according to my will, why ask for other people's consent!

Ever since I met you, I know that I am not qualified to have a romantic relationship with you, but I only think that you are a confidant and only unrequited love; Of course, I was also at fault. I disturbed you by writing a letter, and I changed it after I knew it.As for falling in love, it goes even further. The word "love" means the same language, the same heart, and the highest state of mutual unity of matter and soul. Throughout the ages, how many people can talk about it!There are also low-level "relationships". I may give it a try in the future. I am confident that I am still a capable person. I have read books no less than some people. I also have a certain political savvy and talent. It is not as good as writing a few guidance The person who beats the side drum is poor.

In the end, I want to make it clear that even if you cut off diplomatic relations with me, I am not a villain who retaliates with my teeth. What you cut off is just a personal friendship. I also knew that there was no possibility of establishing diplomatic relations. Help when you need it, it's up to you to take it or not.If you have urgent matters, such as finding a good hospital or doctor (just to make an analogy), as long as you call and inform, everything will be done, and there will be no excuses. The ancients said: "People treat us with land. , I will also repay it as a national scholar."

I also hope that one day you will find a person with good conditions and a home, because your mother, father and child, in case the mountains and rivers are long and short, you are not Ding Ling or Bing Xin, you are still a person who is struggling on the way forward. Wu Wei recalled the time when he was in the cadre school and asked Hu Bingchen for help because of the difficulties of Ye Lianzi, who was old and frail, and asked Hu Bingchen for help, and shook his head sadly. In comparison, this Tong Dalei was still generous... But this may be Tong Dalei's "creation", but why does Tong Dalei need to "create"?Did he not know that there was no hope?Of course, she doesn't have to test whether Tong Dalei is the person who "a gentleman can't chase after a word".

He said that he would not interfere with Wu Wei any more, but it was just talk, Tong Dalei still pursued him relentlessly.When he couldn't help but visit Wu Wei's house again, Wu Wei blocked Tong Dalei at the entrance without saying a word of courtesy, let alone letting him sit and stare coldly at the shameless Tong Dalei. A eviction order was issued. But for such a stalker, if he is not so decisive, there will be endless troubles. Then she thought sadly that if one does not love another one can do all sorts of cruel things.Thinking about the "self-defense" battle that Hu Bingchen blocked on the door of his house back then, how could Hu Bingchen explain it if he was not cruel enough to put her to death?But she is different from Hu Bingchen, she has never seduced Tong Dalei.

12 The reunion with Shi Qiao brought a qualitative change in Hu Bingchen's feelings for Wu Wei.At the farewell ceremony for the body of an old leader, a man walking in front of Hu Bingchen suddenly fell to the ground, feeling like falling down a mountain with a bang. Maybe that man was taller and more lame.The staff hurriedly carried him to the lounge. Then I heard from the old comrades that it was Shi Qiao who fainted. Ever since Shi Qiao pulled out a pocket pistol from his waist and threw himself down in a ravine in the Dabie Mountains to wait for his excellent scout, Hu Bingchen never saw him again.I only heard that during the "Cultural Revolution", Shi Qiao suffered a lot due to his arrest. Later, he heard that he was arranged to work in the party's supervisory department, and then there was no news.After bidding farewell to the body, Hu Bingchen visited the lounge. No matter how much he knew about the vicissitudes of time, he still couldn't believe that the person in front of him was that elegant Shi Qiao.As if just crawled out of the dust of the years, gray-headed and gray-headed, except for the occasional appearance of the light of the soul in the mouth of the time tunnel deep in the eyes, but then immediately disappears into the darkness, how can it be seen that he is a high-achieving university student?And how can you tell that Zeng was "just a classmate boy... the dung was ten thousand households back then"?

Li Lin was arrested for rebellion and was rescued and released from prison by the organization. After being screened and reviewed by the organization, Shi Qiao thought that all the problems were clear. He never thought that someone would add a conclusion of "making a political mistake" to his file. He has always been suspected of treachery, and it was not until the chaos of the "Cultural Revolution" that this issue was exposed. Shi Qiao is more than sad!He was discouraged, thoroughly discouraged. During the "Cultural Revolution", Shi Qiao, which could not be destroyed by all the craftsmanship imported from the fascists, was destroyed by discouragement.

At that time, he often thought of Hu Bingchen's elder brother, Hu Bingchen, and finally understood that what Hu Bingshuai said to him back then was the truth.Looking back, why didn't you study Buddhism with Mo Ni Hu Bingchen?How can a person like him start a revolution beyond his capacity?But who was he?I can't tell myself. Just because of the wretched look on his face, he is not so much a member of the Communist Party as a saint or an ascetic.Even when he was a leader of a certain level in the party, he was speechless. There used to be a considerable level of Shi Qiao, and he didn't know that this conclusion would increase in value with the changes of the times. The conclusion based on one or two layers may gradually rise to an unmeasurable level.If Shi Qiao knew about this, he would definitely standardize the conclusion on the original organization in accordance with the legal provisions word by word, just like signing a contract.But who can see their own files?Who's to know what's stuffed in your file?

This burden unknown to Shi Qiao has been carried for more than 30 years. It was not until the "Cultural Revolution" that the policy was implemented, and the treachery was blown away. The leg joints are deformed and the movement is inconvenient, like a scrapped machine. What's the point of this implementation? For many years, Shi Qiao couldn't get around that detour: Whether it's a superior leader or a comrade, why don't you think about that very simple reasoning?A heavyweight underground party like him was arrested, why did their underground work in that system suffer any loss?Wasn't his release from prison the result of organizing a rescue?They suspected him of treason and treated him like a traitor for decades! But no one thought about it.No longer be punished as apostasy!Do you still let him sing "the sun came out" as if he saw the sun again? Despite the wind and rain for decades, Hu Bingchen has not changed much except for getting older.Shi Qiao recognized him at a glance, shook hands, and met each other silently, not even a normal conversation.It's really a time of meeting and laughing, and the past becomes smoke.As a subordinate with direct contact with him, Hu Bingchen should be very aware of this incident at that time. Shi Qiao also told the investigators that Hu Bingchen could fully confirm it.Hu Bingchen did prove it for him, but what those people need is not the facts, what they need is to confirm themselves in the ravages and practices... What else can I say?If the machine can still start up after you talk about it, then you might as well talk about it; now that the machine is useless, why talk about starting it up!Hu Bingchen only said one sentence: "Take care!" He didn't inquire about the situation after the farewell, asked if he needed help, or said "What can I do for you?"... In short, it was not appropriate to say anything. Shi Qiao just said: "Thank you." Anything else is inappropriate. Hu Bingchen walked out of the lounge hesitantly.The reunion with Shi Qiao greatly shocked the thoughtful Hu Bingchen. When I got home, I saw a fellow countryman in a Chinese tunic suit sitting alone in the hall when he entered the door. The Chinese tunic suit was "fitted" on him solemnly, obviously specially prepared for this meeting.Seeing Hu Bingchen enter the door, he jumped up and grabbed his hand, held it tightly in his own, and said very familiarly: "I see you now, old leader, it's not easy!" Hu Bingchen really couldn't remember when he had led this fellow, so he took the opportunity to put out the newspaper and pulled out his hand, not because he was rude to the fellow, but because he absolutely didn't like to hold a hand of the same sex like this. Bai Fan hurriedly came out from the room to explain: "It's an old underground traffic that you used to use." The fellow said: "Leader Hu, why don't you remember me? Do you remember? I found out through investigation that the poor peasants who made silverware became landlords!" What silverware!What poor peasants have become landlords!Hu Bingchen was confused by the cloud and fog. After 1949, many people came to the capital to recognize old comrades, but that wave has passed for decades, why are there still people coming to claim them?Could it be a liar? The fellow was not discouraged, and still reminded him enthusiastically. Only then did Hu Bingchen recall the past decades ago, and he became enthusiastic. After the Southern Anhui Incident, the Kuomintang set off another anti-communist upsurge, arrested Communists in the Kuomintang-controlled areas, and the underground party organization was greatly damaged. Some party members left the party organization, and some branches were in name only.At the same time, the Kuomintang stepped up its encirclement of the Shaanxi-Gansu-Ningxia border area, deliberately creating friction with the Eighth Route Army and the New Fourth Army.In order to cope with unexpected events, the establishment of underground secret transportation was put on the agenda. Hu Bingchen was ordered to build an underground passage in case the relationship between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party broke openly, and those important backbones of the party whose identities were disclosed and could not be concealed were evacuated to safe zone. With a small burden on his back, Hu Bingchen spent more than a month understanding the situation along the way one by one.On this basis, several focal points were selected. The point chosen for the first stop was only a day away from Chongqing, and people traveling here could go home without having to stay in the hotel.Moreover, this place is located on the side of the remaining veins of Huaying Mountain, and the mountains on both sides are undulating. It is one of the paths to enter the hinterland of Huaying Mountain. Once something happens, you can enter the mountain in one day. There is a large bamboo forest near the second station. The southern bamboo in the forest grows very thick and is easy to hide. This is exactly what Hu Bingchen took a fancy to. Although there is no party organization at the third station, the people are very reliable.If some comrades passed by, it would be no problem to find him as a cover, and to provide board and lodging.It can be seen that Hu Bingchen selected these points with great foresight. There was something wrong with the last point chosen. Under the name of a friend of a friend, Hu Bingchen settled in the home of a responsible local party member.Invite Hu Bingchen tonight.While eating, the party member suddenly said to his family: "Call the silversmith tomorrow!" He said very loudly, how much silver does the family have that can be called the silversmith at any time? Hu Bingchen immediately raised his vigilance, and secretly found an ordinary party member to investigate. He learned that the party member who hit the silverware was originally a poor peasant. , The silver was swallowed by him as his own, and he became rich and became a landlord. "I know what the hell did it do, he became a landlord!" said the ordinary party member. Hu Bingchen also didn't understand, how can a poor peasant become a landlord?At that time, this kind of transformation was not as common and understandable as decades later when the "five categories of red" were said to change into huge corruption and corruption. This alone made Hu Bingchen feel that this person was very unreliable, so he immediately gave up on him, and found a new teacher as an insider. Without revealing his identity, he disappeared as soon as possible, and another subordinate came forward, rented a house and opened a house there Taverns - Taverns are a good place to take cover at any time of the day.The teacher was arrested later, and no one related to him was exposed, and finally died in the Bai Mansion, a well-known secret service agency of the Kuomintang.If the former "poor peasants" were arrested, the outcome would be difficult to predict. In that line, Hu Bingchen established five contact points, and the entire line was well-arranged and safe. In case of accidents, important party cadres would be transported to a safe place soon.After returning to Chongqing, Hu Bingchen drew up a detailed route map, and made detailed reports to the leaders one by one on how to reach those contact points and the contacts at those points. An all-rounder like Hu Bingchen is really "only one out of every five hundred years". Whether it is sending intelligence to the Dabie Mountains, or leading underground work, or detecting the "military command" in Chongqing's communication system, or establishing a secret channel... everything is outstanding.If you give him a president, I believe he will do no worse than Clinton, and there will be no accident like Lewinsky.It's a pity that the world given to him is too small, and it's a pity that the meritorious deeds he has spent more than ten years of youth, birth and death, have not been fully utilized, or even used. The comrades at these contact sites are ready to splash blood on Xuanyuan at any time, lurking in that ordinary place, nailing hard until the end of the War of Resistance.It's a pity that these underground passages, which took a lot of effort to build and have been guarded by many people for many years, are of no use at all, just like the important information Hu Bingchen sent to Dabie Mountain. The ordinary party member who investigated "poor peasants turned landlords" for Hu Bingchen is the same fellow who is sitting in Hu's hall right now. The fellow also sticks to the tasks assigned by Hu Bingchen without complaint or regret, let alone exchanging any benefits for them. The problem is that the new government does not recognize his party membership and the obscure job he has been working for the party for many years. Since the secret passage was established by Hu Bingchen, no one knew the power that Hu Bingchen had ambushed on this passage, and they were all connected through a single line at the time. Except for Hu Bingchen, no one could prove anything for this fellow.Since the founding of the People's Republic of China, the villagers have sold their houses and land, persevered, petitioned everywhere, and looked for Hu Bingchen everywhere, for decades.Everyone said he was crazy, but he knew he wasn't, but was loyal to communist ideals.He said to those who called him a lunatic and refused to recognize his party membership: "I sacrificed my head for the revolution, and you bastard sons are like the landlord who hit the silverware. The counterattack is against me." The more he said this, the more grassroots organizations became His party membership was not recognized. "What's the level of the grassroots? Playing silverware." He said. So when he found Hu Bingchen, how could he not grab his hand? Hu Bingchen was both excited and sad, and said, "Don't worry, I will definitely write a certificate for you." The fellow was so excited that he almost shed tears, and grabbed Hu Bingchen's hand again, as if he had truly grasped the vast history, those invisible things suddenly became palpable. That night, Hu Bingchen couldn't help digging up the old things from his memory, remembering that in 1944, he was ordered to build another water channel for the same purpose. Like all the major tasks he completed, it was never used. It's strange to think about these things.Not generally strange, but very strange. Then, the heavy blows knocking on the door of destiny in the "Symphony of Destiny" sounded in my ears again, asking questions of a century of doubts, and reassessing one by one from the future of mankind to the long past.Looking back on my life, I saw turbulent waves, twelve years of civil war, and ten years of turmoil. In the Mood for Love just passed away. does it worth? International communism also fell apart, even turned on each other, and the value standard that had been his entire life collapsed suddenly.Hu Bingchen felt perplexed, confused, bewildered, and even pessimistic about the future of mankind. What is the future? He couldn't find an answer.Especially after getting entangled with Wu Wei, who is not bound by historical prejudice, he thought more. Go, go, go! At least there is still a sincere Wu Wei.At this stage, Wu Wei gradually developed into a positive image in Hu Bingchen's mind, and soon after, he would say to Wu Wei: "You are the rare woman I have met who has courage, courage, and perseverance. The relationship between me and you, the relationship between a man and a woman is just one aspect. The fundamental thing is the sameness of thought, common language, and common feeling. "You are a trustworthy, kind, and frank person, and being with you is like a spring breeze, without restraint and barriers, just like a close friend who can confide in you, sitting on a bench covered with pine branches and talking about family affairs. You are my safe harbor , is a place where I can go home at any time. How rare it is to have a confidant who can be completely trusted!" I am already at a crossroads, and I already have a tendency in my heart, but I am wandering at the crossroads because I have not explained the reasons to many theories. Once an excuse that is as light as a feather comes out, it is likely to have an effect as heavy as Mount Tai. In the confusion of his whole life, Hu Bingchen had a reason to drive to the safe harbor and talk about family affairs on the bench covered with pine branches. 13 Although Hu Bingchen and Wu Wei hadn't heard each other for a long time, Hu Bingchen seemed to know everything about Tong Dalei's actions. Even for an item of low value, once the price is called in the auction house and enters the canyon of two strong competition, a bubble effect will immediately occur. Seeing Hu Bingchen, Wu Wei knew that something serious was about to happen, so he said to Chanyue: "Mom is a little tired today, we won't take a walk, can you go back to school by bus?" Chanyue likes to take a walk with Wu Wei, and they talk about everything on the way.She is at the age of beginning to "understand", and she is particularly proud of knowing her mother.It's as if she has gradually understood that the wrinkles on Wu Wei's forehead are not all because of anger, but because of the despair of being cornered and having nowhere to turn for help. Wu Wei said to Chanyue more than once: "Before I was born, I thought, I want to have a friend, a friend who will never abandon me." Except for windy and rainy days, they walked across this road every Sunday to send Zenyue back to school.Wu Wei stood outside the school gate, watching her run and jump into the school gate before turning around and walking home. With the joy of talking with Chanyue, thinking of her daughter who had grown up and loved her so much, he had written and prepared The novel I wrote... "Okay." Zenyue said. "I won't wait for you to get in the car." Wu Wei said. "Hey, mom, take a good rest." Wu Wei nodded and left in a panic. The car never came. Seeing Wu Wei's back gradually walking away, Chanyue was very worried. She should send her mother home before leaving, so she called, "Mom-mother-wait-wait." Wu Wei didn't hear it, and was walking in a hurry. At this moment, Chanyue saw an elderly man crossing the road and stopped her mother.Zenyue soon realized that her mother had lied to her.She is not tired, she wants to meet this man. Then they turned back and walked towards the fields along a nearby creek. This is the first time since Shan Yue was born that she has experienced a thematic and conscious major grief.Before that, no matter how many times she cried, it couldn't be called sad. Ever since leaving Han Mulin, Chanyue has been living in a woman's world, whether it is the love of her grandmother or her mother, it is all for her, and all her love is also returned to them.But her mother who had never lied to her now lied to her, and for such a faceless man... Mom lied to her!Tears flowed down Chanyue's sixteen-year-old, ruddy and plump face. She felt that she had grown up at this moment, and her teenage years were over at this moment. In the evening, Zen Yue suffered from insomnia for the first time. A foreign object suddenly entered into their bloody, trinity, dependent and hard-lived home. This Trinity family is facing a huge threat that she can't explain at the moment.Chanyue was very worried, she didn't have the mind to go to class that week, she looked forward to the weekend, and hurried home, as if someone would steal her mother away. But when I got home and saw my mother, I suddenly felt a strange feeling.Everything was the same as before, but it was different again.For a while, she didn't know how to talk to her mother.She saw that her mother was locked by worries again, and the lock was hung on the two brows, and a vertical line immediately formed between the brows. Not only did a vertical line appear between the two brows, but there were even two vertical lines at the corners of the mouth, as if she was gritting her teeth and suffering some kind of torture.But my mother didn't say anything to her, and she suffered alone. Why is mother hiding it from her?Are you afraid she won't understand?Or would he rather keep a common secret with that man, but exclude Zenyue, who loves her so much, as an outsider?That is to say, that man is closer to his mother than her... Chanyue suddenly understood that since she became sensible, all her mother's troubles were caused by that man.She hated the man very definitely. Zenyue doesn't express her sadness and hatred, mother should be able to see it.But my mother was completely absorbed in her own thoughts. Hu Bingchen still didn't answer anything. As soon as he turned onto the path along the river leading to the fields, Hu Bingchen said, "Can you hold my arm?" Facing Hu Bingchen's plea, Wu Wei had no choice but to ignore Hu Bingchen's harm to her, and took his arm from a distance of one foot. What did Hu Bingchen say?He talked about missing her when he was in school, and talked about a few small things that Wu Wei couldn't remember.But Wu Wei recited a novel she had just published for Hu Bingchen, especially the few sentences and paragraphs she was proud of.Anyway, they were all irrelevant words... They didn't cherish this opportunity at all, as if they had had such opportunities in the past and would have many such opportunities in the future. She didn't even look at Hu Bingchen but looked up at the full moon, and she still looked clean at such a time. It was unexpected that she recited her novels so unreliably.Shouldn't she be in his arms at this time? After reciting the novel, Wu Wei turned his face to hear a comment.But Hu Bingchen couldn't comment, he didn't listen to her novel seriously at all, and he couldn't be perfunctory.He didn't want to desecrate this full moon, and this date that he hesitated for almost ten years... Wu Wei opened his mouth slightly, and waited with his head sideways. Hu Bingchen had never seen her lips so closely and so clearly... Her lips were neither thin nor thick, they looked very soft, and the lip line was not clear... He closed his eyes for a while, afraid that he would kiss him, but he couldn't help but suddenly hugged Wu Wei tightly into his arms. If a fisherman hadn't suddenly stood up under the shadow of a tree by the river and asked, "Comrade, what time is it?" Hu Bingchen would have kissed Wu Wei's lips; now he had to quickly push her away and walk forward. Wu Wei really shouldn't have overlooked the detail that Hu Bingchen pushed her suddenly and quickly walked away. It was precisely because it was a subconscious action that it accurately reflected a certain deep-rooted state of mind in him.This scenario will continue to recur throughout their decades-long relationship.Every time it appears, it irreparably portrays Hu Bingchen's bad habit of blaming others more clearly. It's just that Wu Wei is too superstitious about Hu Bingchen, and he can't imagine that a beloved person will ambush him. What's more, Wu Wei was never out of tune, and in this situation he would say: "Look, isn't this a very interesting movie scene? Based on Hu Bingchen's experience, Wu Wei is not prudish at this time, but has not mobilized.Is she just platonic loveism?If she didn't, he'd have to repress himself, or she'd see him as a man who only had "sex."He had no choice but to follow Wu Wei's train of thought and said, "By the way, it's best to let these two people wear glasses. They either smashed the glasses or knocked them to the ground, and the two of them lay on the ground and touched their glasses all over the world. Fishermen can also help them find, negotiate a good price, and pay him for a pair of glasses..." Hu Bingchen was too careless, although Wu Wei is not prudish, but he is different from before.Hu Bingchen's plea came a bit late, not only did she put on the armor of success, but her heart became much colder.Back home, Hu Bingchen turned off the lights, sat in the study and thought about the absurdity of the night.He has never dealt with women in such a rambunctious way. After "Paramount", there was a carnival night, and the women after that were too materialistic, but Wu Wei was romantic and flirtatious, unlike some women who made themselves cute, ——The cuteness produced can only be tasted rather than sentimental.Unexpectedly, at the end of his life, he would meet such a romantic woman.A long-lost smile that even Bai Fan rarely saw appeared on his face. From the next room came the sound of Bai Fan's snoring, which woke him up like a blow to the head, and the rare smile flickered and faded from his face. What should I do next?What if Wu Wei asked to meet every day from now on? What reason does he still have to write a letter to Wu Wei together with Bai Fan now?Is there any reason to add a note to the letter drafted by Bai Fan, "Comrade Wu Wei: You have created an illusory artistic conception, and you have played a sentimental role in it. You can't get out of it. This is bourgeois. Emotional games, not proletarian ideology, you don’t even think about how dangerous it is, I’m going to pour a big bucket of cold water on you, just talk about it soon, don’t write any more letters”? Before Hu Bingchen could figure it out, Wu Wei sent a letter first, saying that after much deliberation, this relationship would not end well, so it's better to put the brakes on it as soon as possible.Once he left Hu Bingchen, Wu Wei's mind became clear. Without exception, it must be another tease, and the only one who gets hurt is her. It seems that in a world of ice and snow, I am so drowsy that I am going to sleep to death.She really doesn't want to wake up, how comfortable it is to sleep softly like this... But the writing said: "Get up, get up, don't sleep, otherwise you will die, and the whole family will once again fall into the contempt of the world." Of course Wu Wei didn't want to die, nor did he want his mother and daughter to suffer another crime. She was pulled out of a state of extreme danger by writing, "You gotta get up and come with me!" Fortunately, Wu Wei now has a more authoritative authority than Hu Bingchen. Hu Bingchen picked up the phone and made a call, while Wu Wei was having a meeting on literature and art in a hotel, "Just wait, I'll be right there." Before Wu Wei could answer, he put down the phone and ran downstairs to the driver's class.The driver said: "Minister Hu, why did you come by yourself and didn't ask the secretary to call me?" Only then did Hu Bingchen realize that he was out of order. "Take me to the hotel," he ordered, panting and snapping his fingers nervously.What does Wu Wei want to do?What happened?Hu Bingchen was terrified, as if he had been safe for ten years, firmly placed there, clinging to his imaginary Wu Wei, and would disappear every second.Only then did he realize that one day her patience would be lost, her world would gradually expand, and she would realize that he might not be the only man she liked. He couldn't help thinking sourly: The status is different now, isn't it? It's really not his meanness, but it's a pity that Hu Bingchen doesn't want to pay attention to it, and doesn't want to dig deeper.Hu Bingchen rushed into Wu Wei's room without knocking on the door.Wu Wei leaned against the corner of the sofa, as if that was her escape route."You can't do this, you can't leave me, if you leave me, I'm going to die," he said. Wu Wei didn't seem to understand, and still looked at him dumbly.Hu Bingchen had to repeat this sentence three times, this time she seemed to understand, stood up from the corner of the sofa, staggered towards him, just as he stretched out his hand to pick her up, she fell limply on the ground in his arms.Hu Bingchen dragged her to sit on the sofa, broke through ten years of hesitation, hesitation, struggle, and confinement, and bowed his head to Wu Wei—— This is their first kiss. In fact, Hu Bingchen had been waiting for this kiss ten years ago, because he had waited too hard, and he felt that the world was spinning and everything no longer existed.This moment is very long and long, and it will last forever; this moment is very short and short, and it will be wiped out...Fame, status, power... everything he has fought for all his life has been turned into flying smoke at this moment.Only she was left, the woman nestled in his arms. Just this kiss made Hu Bingchen, who was experienced in many battles, born and died, and steel-like, fascinated. He didn't know where to go, and wished he could die.I didn't expect that at this age, I could taste the shock that a woman might give to a man and the pleasure brought by this shock so ecstatically.He realized again that he was still a man, a man who could make a woman fall into her arms. Until he left, Hu Bingchen turned his head and said to Wu Wei: "If you leave me, I will die." At this moment, Hu Bingchen's words are really not sweet words for love. When he returned to the office, Hu Bingchen couldn't do anything else. Someone came to talk about work, and all he heard was a buzzing sound, but he didn't know what they were talking about. He seems to have returned to his first love.Has he ever had a first love?Do Sichuan beauties count?The women in the past passed by one by one from memory, no, compared with this time, they all seemed to be playing on the spot. This is actually Hu Chengchen's illusion, he has had fresh experiences from every sex partner.But as a man, it was impossible for him not to forget them, so naturally he also forgot their differences. Back home, he went upstairs after hastily eating dinner, locked himself in the study, and sat in the dark with the lights off.But the darkness also disturbed him, troubled him, oppressed him, chased him, tore him.Worth it or not? What should we do next? Even though Wu Wei fell into Hu Bingchen's arms, she refused to enter that vicious circle again.The most incompetent and best way she could think of was to leave and experience life in the mountains. After Hu Bingchen found out, he just wrote a feeble letter, could you come to my house and have a cup of tea with Comrade Bai Fan and me, she would be very happy" Yun Yun. Seeing "Have a cup of tea with Comrade Bai Fan", Wu Wei smiled, just like the armor on her body, isn't she wearing it to resist something?Then stop causing trouble.She didn't drink that cup of tea, and left without saying goodbye. Tong Dalei heard about Wu Weishen's life, and rushed to the train station before driving, snatched Wu Wei a handbag and held it, as if he had won a reward, hugged him tightly, thinking in his heart, this was always done by the secretary for him , but now he is willing to hold it for a woman. The handbag he snatched immediately became the motivation for Tong Dalei, and he began to write letters to Wu Wei again—— Lu Xun wrote "Books from Two Places" in Fujian. I don't have the blessings like him.When Qu Qiubai wrote "Excessive Words" in Fujian, his body was exhumed and his grave was destroyed. When he wrote it, he may have realized that it was redundant.Having said that, when a person is dying, it is too domineering not to allow him to express his sorrows. I sympathize with him, so write two redundant letters.Then recite poems and compose Fu—— In the cold spring and night rain in the Xiangyang Building, it is a leisurely farewell to autumn. So close to the end of the world that people can't see, Yuexiliu by the Yuquan River looks at the curtain hook, Xiaoxilou, I will say goodbye to you, I am worried about dying, who will keep this scene and this feeling in my dream!A piece of writing is embarrassing, filled Zhongxiao with tears, if you live a hundred years, if you are a couple, you will grow old forever, this meaning is hard to let go. These words are really stupid, vulgar and stupid! There are some things that ordinary people can't "get their hands on", no matter how self-righteous Tong Dalei is, such a clean thing as poetry has nothing to do with Tong Dalei.His most wonderful words are those oily words. It's like a one-day tour of Lingyin, where thousands of heads gather and move, and then return in a hurry. There are four characters on the wall of Lingyin: "We are so close to the west."It inspired him.To ask Wu Wei to smile: Come on, a song—— Just a short distance away in the western sky, cigarette smoke rises into the clouds. Men and women worshipers, quite a lot of pants.Regardless of writing lyrics and prose or himself, Tong Dalei only works together.Thinking of Hu Bingchen saying that Qin Shaoyou handed over her weapon back then, Wu Wei felt even more impatient, why everyone started playing imitation show! Unexpectedly, Tong Dalei was so entangled, so he had to write an open letter to several leaders in the ministry, including Tong Dalei, which was regarded as a warning.Tong Dalei replied: "As a friend, even if you write a letter to me, it will never cause me to have a nervous attack. However, it is so precious that ink is like gold. An official letter from XX, XX, and XX is beyond human feelings. It's too much for a princess." Since then, the "Anshi Rebellion" has just subsided, and Wu Wei thought that Tong Dalei's love offensive would subside from then on. She didn't know enough about Tong Dalei's excess energy. 如果“永动说”不能在物理学上成立，那些对“永动说”执迷不悟的科学狂人，最终可以在佟大雷这里得到极大的心理弥补。 胡秉宸那里也是每天一封信。吴为对着那些信说：“不，我不给你回信。”果然没有一字回复。 她在山坡上爬来爬去，天边的云就低了许多，也像从来没有胡秉宸那个人似的按时起床、睡觉、工作，写点什么……渐渐觉得日子和她都像云一样平滑了。有时也想到自己的自私，为了逃避这个爱，把母亲和女儿扔在北京，难道她们不想念她、不需要她的照顾吗？ 可是胡秉宸突然来信，说肠子上长了什么东西；已经住进医院等等，那平滑的云或是山坡马上完蛋。 她连夜赶到县城，拿着手电筒在阡陌小路上疾步赶路，除了远处的狗吠，只有那束手电筒的光亮，在黑暗的包围中渺小无力地颤动着。 县邮电局的木板门，敲起来响彻整个寂静的山村小镇，可是工作人员像在石头里冬眠。她咬着牙、闷着头不停地敲，直至敲开一扇木板窗。一个头发直竖的脑袋从里面钻出，“什么事？” “打电报。” “这里没有电报业务。”头发直竖的脑袋又缩回石头里去。 此时吴为变得十分聪明，她想到了县委会。果然有灯光，有人值班，安静地过着一个山区的夜晚。她拿出工作证，信口雌黄地使用着“文化大革命”那一套招摇撞骗的伎俩：“我有急事，必须马上请示……” 中年人对她的证件肃然起敬，那么容易地就相信了她，“没问题，没问题。”甚至高兴有机会帮助她，同时也有能够使用权力的慷慨。 吴为好一阵惭愧，欺骗这样一个对中央部门怀着如此敬意的人实在可耻。 她真想对他说“我其实……我不过急着要用电话”，却变成了“我可以付电话费”。 “都是为了工作嘛。我这就让接线员给你接电话。” 他走到院子里，大声吆喝着：“小王，小王！”这一吆喝肯定把全院子的人都得吵醒，可只有一间屋子的灯亮了，也许人们已经习惯了这样的夜牛吆喝。叫做小王的，摇着一个二十世纪初的电话机，把她要的电话号码传递给遥远的一部电话机，她要靠着这样复杂艰难的链接、运载，把她的焦虑从这个小小的山区，传达到胡秉宸那里。 这古老的山镇、古老的电话机和古老的生活，让她突然有了瞬间的反省，比之它，万物的虚浮不过是很不清晰的一个闪念。 电话终于接通，有山有水的距离在线路中声声漫漫，忽断忽续，“喂……”当她听见胡秉宸的声音时，似乎又要昏倒下去，瞥了一眼一旁的小王和中年干部，挣扎说道，“我接到了您的信，”并不是为了隐瞒，而是不愿亵渎小王和中年干部协助她的真诚，“我想请示一下，我是否……是否留在这里继续工作，还是立刻返回？”胡秉宸的声音听上去很虚弱，确有重病缠身的样子。 听出吴为的焦虑，胡秉宸更加利用起来，他当然要她立即返回。 他没有说医生已经确诊，肠子上那块东西不过是块息肉。吴为也没有问是不是癌，——既然她没有问，不说也不为过，只用更为虚弱的声音说了一个“喂”。 要是他用更虚弱的声音说一个“喂”，也没有什么不对。夜间，他正睡得迷迷糊糊，脑子不够清醒或是嗓子发干等等，“我觉得你的工作不一定非得在那里完成，这里毕竟是变革的中心……我想你不如回来，不要失去感受这样一种氛围的机会。”他在电话里只能说这样的官话，好在这样的官话说起来得心应手。她在电话里也是吞吞吐吐，显然一旁有人。 吴为却理解为他的情况不妙，说：“好，我马上回来。” 马不停蹄赶回北京，放下行李就到公用电话亭去打电话。胡秉宸上来就是一句：“亲亲，你可回来了。”吴为赶快转过身去，用背对着守电话的人。能把吴为千里迢迢扯回来的，是胡秉宸到底有没有生命危险，而不是这声“亲亲，你可回来了”。 “喂，你怎么不说话？喂——喂——”他以为她生了气或是电话线断了。 “等一会儿——”她像刚刚跑完一个全程马拉松，声带干得要裂了。 到了现在胡秉宸还不肯告诉吴为，实际上他什么病也没有。 “我……可以去看看你吗？” "no." "why?" “我怎么和别人说？” 对，他怎么和别人说？他们的关系是见不得天日的。她有什么资格关心他有没有生命危险？可是他们之间到底有过什么关系？除了那一个短暂的、来不及体味就瘫软过去的接吻？难道他一封信接一封信地催她回来，就是为了对她说一声“亲亲，你可回来了”？而她居然为这个见鬼的理由，千山万水地跑了回来！ 胡秉宸却享受着这种日子。日子过得颠三倒四，早上一睁开眼睛，满眼都是吴为；晚上一闭上眼睛，满眼也是吴为。连湖面上随水流动的落叶，在他的眼睛里也变做画笔渐次的排列，显出像情绪化的吴为那样难以捉摸的色带。 吴为也不得不陪他陷入这样的日子。 为避人耳目，他们到远郊去。因为总是坐着轿车出出进进，胡秉宸没有大衣，他那件薄旧的小棉衣，在初冬深秋旷野的冷风里单薄得像是没有穿衣；头上也没有帽子，两只耳轮被冷风吹得又红又紫。吴为伸出手去替他焐着，“噢，噢，你的耳朵怎么冻得这么红？冷不冷？冷不冷？” "Cold," he said. “唉，你长了多么硬的一对耳朵。长这种耳朵的人，多半儿不受他人的影响，而是固执己见。” 可他现在已经没有了己见，只有吴为。而在这之前，正像吴为说的那样，谁也别想影响他、左右他，谁也别想在他耳朵旁边吹风，软风硬风都不行。 吴为的手掌宽宽厚厚，手上流出的是朴拙的疼爱。眼神像一头鹿妈妈，驯顺，善良，关切，疼惜，就差那么一点让男人一下子燃烧起来的火星。 这样焐过他的耳朵，还不进入约定俗成的场景，而是说：“我们买一个口罩吧，这样可能暖和一些。”他们进了一间小百货店。胡秉宸任吴为唠唠叨叨说些可以不用心去听的话，什么也不想，一味体味着被她牵着走来走去的感觉。哪个女人可以让他这样心甘情愿地服从？有时听任白帆摆布，只是因为懒得与她多费口舌；而听任吴为摆布，却是赏心乐事。 然后她把口罩给胡秉宸戴上。先将口罩带子套在他的颈上，食指和拇指牵着带子两头绕过他的两耳，弄得胡秉宸其痒难熬，后来又在他下巴上打了个结，“怎么样？紧不紧广再拽拽带子，“松不松？ " “松。” 吴为又用力拽了拽带子，“到底是紧还是松？” 胡秉宸的心被一种不熟悉的力量轻轻攥住，幸福？hapiness?喜悦？sweet?comfortable? ……无以言说，便对吴为说：“白帆从来没有这样关心过我，更不要指望她为我焐一焐冻僵的耳朵。” 然后就是播放那个冗长的、早已拷贝过的老版本—— “我和白帆一九四一年同居，没有结婚手续。那时我刚从延安到蒋管区从事地下工作，时间不长，接触的女党员只有她一人，彼此对性格、经历事先也没有充分的了解。同居后不久，就发现很难相处，当时没有条件生活在一起，大约每周见面一次，即便如此，她也经常为一些琐碎的事动手打我。有一次用燃着的香烟按在我的臂上，还多次用杯中开水泼到我的脸上。我还年轻，对夫妻生活完全没有经验，我非常吃惊，很难想像-个年轻的女人会这样对待男人。但是限于地下环境又怕影响工作，不好声张……事后我才了解到这可能与遗传基因有关，她父亲就是这样一个性情暴戾的人，也是如此虐待她的母亲。 “解放初期，我们的关系已破裂到准备离婚的地步，但那时大家忙于工作，加之工作不在一个地区，也没有机会办理这件事。直到一九五五年审干，有人来调查白帆同另一个男人的关系，才知道她一九四六年就同那个人有了关系，所以一九四七年她生的那个儿子是不是我的儿子还是个疑问。 我们多次争论过这个问题，她说按月份应该算是我的。她说的也许有道理，因为那个时期她和我们这两个男人花插着睡，我不能证明不是我的，也不能肯定是我的，争论下来总是没有结果。 “由于中国长期处于封建社会，社会对这类问题带有极大的偏见，几千年来不知多少妇女死于这样的偏见。我作为二个马克思主义者，应该对这个问题有一个合理的态度，特别它势必影响这个孩于的一生，以后还会影响他和妻子的关系，还有他孩子今后的生活，所以当时除她所属的组织和我之外，我从来没对别人提过这件事……” 吴为好羡慕白帆啊，比起韩木林对待绿帽子的态度，胡秉宸真可以说是高风亮节，白帆真是摊上了一个好丈夫！ 她却不想一想，与她有过同样前科的白帆，不但不理亏还敢这样对待胡秉宸，是不是有点不合逻辑？ 以胡秉宸这样一个男人，又为什么甘于忍受这样的虐待？ 如果她能想一想，就会发现这个版本漏洞百出，胡秉宸如若不是有什么败行劣迹，白帆怎敢这样对待他！ 什么样的败行劣迹，才能让一个挚爱丈夫的女人疯狂若此，并下得这样的毒手？ 可惜吴为什么也没想，只是一味羡慕白帆的福气。 真是“众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首”——白马王子却在“灯火阑珊处”！ 于是吴为赶忙把自己类同的历史，对胡秉宸说个明白。尽管她知道胡秉宸早就从人们的议论或人事部门得知她的前科，但毕竟与本人的坦诚交代有所不同，至少说明她信奉“童叟无欺”那一类信条，更是履行一个正式手续，让胡秉宸在“可忍”或“孰不可忍”之间有个选择。 Hu Bingchen chose "tolerable". 吴为不是没有这方面的教训，在鬼都不知、完全可以蒙混过关的情况下，为了良心的安宁，将私生子的隐情向前夫韩木林做了交代，韩木林选择的也是“可忍”，结果是“孰不可忍”。 但韩木林怎能和白马王子相提并论？吴为根本不明白，男人一旦不再宠爱一个女人的时候，她们已往的风流账，永远是他们的杀手铜。 可不，如此-个高风亮节的胡秉宸，在婚后不久的一次口角里就变了一副嘴脸：“你知道人家说你什么？说你是个烂女人，都说我和你这种拆烂污的女人结婚是上了你的当。可我怎么就鬼迷心窍地和你结了婚？”——不费吹灰之力，一枪就把欢蹦乱跳的吴为毙呆了。 Compared with Han Mulin's sanctions against her more than 20 years ago, Han Mulin can be regarded as aboveboard. 旧时代的男人根本不必为自己的情变设计二个遁身之术。丢掉一个女人或是再讨一个女人回家，理所当然，就像当年顾秋水当着叶莲子的面和阿苏做爱。 顾秋水行伍出身，难免沾染兵痞之习，为所欲为，不在乎舆论。胡秉宸却不然，他横竖要人锐好，且喜水过无痕。当然就要设计一个“理由”，既可安慰自己，又可昭告他人。 大部分女人也会相信男人这种理由，作家吴为也不例外。或者不如说她们并不想探求真伪，因为，这理由不也可以用来交代她们自己的良心、道义以及社会的舆论？ 也没想到他们有情人终成眷属后，当同样关爱的场景再现，却招来胡秉宸一顿又一顿呵斥。想来白帆不是从来没有关心过胡秉宸，也不是没有为胡秉宸焐过冻僵的耳朵，而是如她一样，时过境迁。 回到家里，胡秉宸禁不住到白帆房间，希望把自焐耳朵而始并一直持续到晚上的骚动平息下去。可是白帆却说：“去，别打搅我睡觉。”他们有几年没干这个事了，被她一推更觉尴尬。 把胡秉宸赶下床之后，白帆继续睡觉，艨胧中突然觉得胡秉宸最近有些怪异——经常不回家吃晚饭，打电话到办公室也没人接，问司机他晚上是否常常有会，司机也说不出所以；而且每天把头发梳得溜光，还抹很多发蜡，穿着也讲究起来，今天晚上还让她给他买一件大衣。 “你坐小车上下班，又不必站在冷风里等公共汽车，买大衣干什么？” “有时候到院子里走走，就觉得冷。” “不行。”她斩钉截铁地说。 忽而要起零花钱，“给我增加点儿零花钱吧。” “为什么？”“我吸的烟质量太差，弄得咳嗽越来越厉害。” “那就少吸几包，采取少而精的方针。” 胡秉宸不说话了。而后白帆发现他上交的钱与工资不符，“还有几十块钱哪里去了？”她把工资数了又数。 “买书了。” "Where are the books?" “在……办公室。”或者“记不得忘在哪个会场上了。” 想到这里，白帆的睡意顿时全无，几十年前胡秉宸无端迷恋上跳舞的往事也突然显现。他该不是旧病复发又有了女人？有个女人老给他打电话，声音听上去很年轻，转而又觉得不太可能。可是老给他打电话的那个声音有点熟悉，——谁呢？can not remember. 从这个夜晚胡秉宸开始明白，他可能已经渴望上吴为的肉体。在此之前，他从未有过这样的冲动，很多年了，和白帆做都是机械化运作，现在却多了一些别的。而且这一次骚动比哪一次都丰富、强烈，似乎不亚于青春年少。他一惊，从什么时候起声名狼藉的吴为，在他心目中变成了风情万种？ 那个冗长的、既可安慰自己又可昭告他人的“老版本”，并不能让横竖要人说好且喜水过无痕的胡秉宸心安理得。这种时候，胡秉宸根本顾不到吴为。 也就难怪胡秉宸有时突然变脸。牵着吴为的手，正谈得高高兴兴，突然中途停下，说：“不去了，我要回家。”缄默的薄唇，石头一样地冷峻，再不会发出多一个声音。 吴为不明白出了什么事，也知道逢到这时留也留不住，即使她哭、她恳求，也是白搭，胡秉宸那对硬耳朵是不会轻易听人支配的，只有无奈地看他离去。不过想想进入”情况”的胡秉宸，是不能仅仅用“疯狂”那样的字眼来说明的。那不是疯狂，而是眼见着一炉钢铁，在炽热的火焰中渐进地熔化，与其说是柔情，不如说是英勇壮烈。能在这熔化中同为灰烬，该是死而无憾的了，吴为又有什么不知足的？ 比起更重要的筹码，吴为就无足轻重了。有消息说他前景不妙，仕途多蹇。胡秉宸不是钻营之辈，恋捞却是人之常情。与吴为的关系如果曝光，结果如何？无须多言。家庭这个形式在仕途上的印象分不可低估，即便在西方社会，那些竞选总统的人，还得在选民面前扮演恩爱夫妻，实情如何另当别论。为此他和白帆早就达成协议，彼此既往不咎，面对新的形势，同心协力，一砖一瓦垒筑起这个家，虽然不尽如人意，也不能想像拆毁它的后果。 为了这个模范家庭，胡秉宸又做了多少忍耐、铺垫，拆毁它不等于前功尽弃？只是碰到吴为之后，这个稳定的家庭才有了飘摇之感。Yes or no? !整日坐卧不安地等着一个女人的电话！ 也不仅仅是中国作家的矫情，俄国小说家赫尔岑也有涉足、兼容哲学之好，早在小说《谁之罪》中作过如此归结：“一切违反人性自然的美德，勉强的自我牺牲，大半只是一种空想，实际上是不可能的。”一旦回到家里，胡秉宸又觉得负了吴为。他心知肚明，如果他不去撩逗她，吴为如今不但过着平静的生活，并且可能忘了他，也可能从追求她的男人里挑选一个没有任何羁绊，全心全意爱她的男人……是他把她带上了／这条人不入、鬼不鬼的路。一旦回到家里，不但觉得不再欠着白帆和这个家，反倒觉得白帆和这个家欠了他。当一个人总觉得他人欠了自己什么，不知不觉便像个债权人那样肆无忌惮、颐指气使。可是白帆并不觉得自己欠了胡秉宸。 晚餐桌上，家乡来的一位客人说起农村的变化，白帆说：“这是不是资本主义复辟？” 胡秉宸接着问：“中国有资本主义吗？”白帆居然拿着筷子在他头上一敲，“什么话！” 只是因为自爱，他才没有当场给她一点颜色。和一个四体不勤、五谷不分，除了报纸上的社论、党内文件，从不知世界上还有其他文字的人有什么可谈？ 客人是县里的一位领导，回到家乡会怎么说？说她可以威风地拿筷子敲部长的脑袋？因此她比部长更了；不起？这就是许多女人的通病——浅薄，无聊。 白帆也始终不明白，胡秉宸之所以不和她理论，并非因爱而生的迁就，而是毫无兴趣到了呵斥也无情绪的地步。 左也不是右也不是啁。 胡秉宸怎么也睡不着，只好第二次起来吃安眠药，很厉害的那一种，很快就腾云驾雾进人梦乡。他梦见带着吴为到了一个没有通路的孤岛上，《鲁滨孙飘流记》似的没有人烟，甚至没有野兽，只有礁石，海水，还有和海水连成一片、时灰时蓝、时浓时淡的雾。他也没问一问，既然没有通路，他们如何来到岛上？在梦里，人们从不问为什么，不究其竟，通情达理，对什么都不以为怪，都正常得可以理解，连价值观都不同了，连人们那种爱打听他人隐私的好奇心也不存在了。他和吴为住在一个云雾缭绕的屋子里，躺在云雾的床上，而吴为就像他杯里的一块彩云，他既能感到那云的柔软，又不能实实在在触摸到她。白天紧紧纠缠着黑夜，黑夜紧紧接着白天。 忽然秘书出现在眼前，“胡副部长，我们整整找了您八天了，中央有一个紧急会议，一定要您出席。”心一惊就醒了过来。对这种说风就是风，说雨就是雨的阴阳变幻，吴为一直心存疑惑。 很难相信这不是胡秉宸的如意算盘。 在众人面前，他仍是受人爱戴尊敬的部长；回到家里，仍是那个模范家庭的丈夫和父亲。 至于她，随时都得听候胡秉宸的调遣，不管她是否正在写作，或去参加女儿的家长会，或陪母亲看病……都得立刻放下，不顾一切地向他跑去。然后跟着他穿行在一条又一条小胡同里。那些小胡同多半没有下水道，满是污水的臭气和污水搅和的泥泞。即便如此，每每经过那昏暗的路灯，胡秉宸仍然会把帽子拉得低得不能再低，走过那盏路灯再把帽檐翻上，让吴为又是鄙夷又是怜悯。他们常常从傍晚走到凌晨，有时在雪里，有时在风里，有时在雨里……实在累得不行，才走进小胡同的一个馄饨铺或是小酒馆，要两碗馄饨。竹筷的缝隙里饱浸着不知多少张嘴留下的秽垢，馄饨如泡在泥汤里一点热气也没有，碗边上净是嘎巴儿，汤面上飘着一层半凝的灰色猪油。他们谁也不吃，只为有理由在那条板凳上坐一会儿。 或是要两盅二锅头，一盘煮花生，听扛大包或蹬三轮的工人聊聊他们的生活，然后再走进或风或雪或雨之中。 胡秉宸就这样和她走了几个月，他们淡漠地相跟相随着，淡漠得好像他们之间什么关系也没有；直到有一天胡秉宸忍不住把她拉进路旁一座尚未完工的建筑群里，在她嘴唇上匆匆一吻，与他们第一个吻隔着很多个日月。 “这个吻就像一个邮戳，在你唇上盖上我的印记，说明你是属于我的。”再一次确认吴为那个唇的归属权后，胡秉宸得意地说。 就这样低三下四地属于他？ 这样鬼鬼祟祟，跑来跑去，左躲右闪怕人看见； 在一个下三烂的地方见上一两个小时，偷一个吻，说几句不负责任的情话； 每天为胡秉宸一封暗藏玄机的信猜来猜去，或绞尽脑汁编造一封地下党式的联络信； 永远过着一种大部分是鬼、小部分是人的生活…… ——这个情人当得太廉价了是不是？ 吴为说：“你就这样什么也不付出地垄断着我吗？”她渐渐开始不无恶意地给胡秉宸打电话，时而往他办公室，时而往他家。有时她听见一个女人的声音，她知道那是白帆。 他们在电话里说着不光明的话，带着不明确的犯罪感。 胡秉宸越是害怕，吴为越是往无遮无拦的路上走。 吴为的不驯，使他们的关系不安静起来。 所以不只胡秉宸说变脸就变脸，吴为也是说变脸就变脸，“我们或是就此分手、一刀两断，或是你想办法解决问题，反正我不能给你当情妇。”但是胡秉宸久而不决，既不肯与她一刀两断，也不肯与白帆离婚，只是继