Chapter 5 Part 1.4.1

1 Wu Wei, who was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, was bound to be studied by the doctors. They really hoped to cure her illness. Unfortunately, psychological medicine is really a nondescript branch of modern medicine.In terms of its plainness, it is inevitable to be superficial; the explanation of why people lose their minds is also far-fetched.But since this century, it has been regarded as a panacea for mental illness by people.How can mortals explain the relationship between heaven and man? It is fair to say that psychiatrists have never cured mental illness without the help of sedative drugs.

Only Freud still thought of guessing and analyzing dreams, and finally approached the edge. 2 The doctors would never have thought that Wu Wei's madness was firstly related to Ye Lianzi's obsession with "birth". 3 Nothing happens for no reason. For example, the old crooked locust tree behind Danyang Temple where Ye Lianzi and Wu Wei lived for almost ten years was killed by lightning immediately after Wu Wei revisited the old place.Only a torso split from the middle remained, like a mouth screaming towards the sky, suddenly and forever frozen in the hoarseness.The old locust tree has been waiting, not for Ye Lianzi, but for Wu Wei's return.

Its waiting clearly does not have the extravagant hope of staying together, but sticks to it faithfully.It has persisted for decades, but in order to see her again, it has an explanation to her.So its waiting has the pathos of lingering. No one can know what Lao Waihuai said when he reunited with Wu Wei; only from Wu Wei's letter, it was a rainy day, when Wu Wei hugged its torso, It lowered its head desolately, looking down at her without a word.Raindrops flowed down like tears along its veins, dripping on Wu Wei's face and body... How many years did Lao Waihuai live?Not only for hundreds of years.People only know that pines and cypresses live long, but they don't know that locust trees can live as long as pines and cypresses do.But it was killed by lightning.

Why was it killed by lightning?Could it be because it's waiting? Compared with being cut down, being killed by lightning may be the most heroic ending for a tree?Who knows. Whether for Ye Lianzi or Wu Wei, isn't this also a hint? If it is a coincidence that the old crooked locust tree was killed by lightning after meeting Wu Wei, the collapse of the Ma Yonghe Inn on Chenghuang Street in Puqi Town should be said to be inevitable. That two-story building has been waiting for Wu Wei's arrival since Ye Lianzi was waiting for the wedding the next day.It waited patiently for more than half a century, and only after meeting Wu Wei and having an explanation, did it go with peace of mind.Unlike the old crooked pagoda tree, it went very peacefully.

The small coat broke slowly from the roof ridge, and the cracks rippled away like spring water. People could even see the soothing smile when the roof was broken and fell down.Just as Wu Wei wrote in her notes, when two accidental coincidences occur in one person, there is a sense of fate in repeated arguments. 4 When Ye Lianzi did not leave her hometown, her name was not Ye Lianzi, but Xiuchun. Xiuchun is a very popular name, from which one can guess that she was born on a spring day.If she hadn't been so sentimental, if she hadn't left her hometown and land, she might have a day as mediocre as this name.

Perhaps it should be said that Ye Lianzi's starting point was wrong, she should not have come into this world. Her mother, Wu Wei's grandmother, Mo He, had three children who could not survive before Xiuchun; after her, there were three children who could not survive. But Ye Lianzi didn't understand the reality that the first few brothers and sisters and the next few younger siblings only glanced at this colorful world willingly and willingly gave up the reality that this already trampled world hastily turned around and left, insisting on surviving. At that time, childbirth was indeed a dangerous business.But it's not like Mo He had a "near death".

No matter what others think about it, it really has something to do with Mo He. It seems that there is a tacit understanding between her and her child. It cannot but be said that Mo He is a very wise and intelligent mother, and there are very few women in the world who love their children as much as she does.But she couldn't help herself, she still had to give birth one after another.It is conceivable how much she regretted this kind of thing against her will. Xiuchun rejected this tacit agreement.It's not that she didn't have the opportunity to make amends for this wrong choice, but she refused to turn back again and again.Who can blame her for what happened later?

Moho also seemed unprepared to be a mother, giving her baby no life-sustaining milk at all.According to her original thinking, Xiuchun would not survive.Xiuchun insisted on drinking sorghum rice porridge—the thin soup on the fermented sorghum rice porridge, in other words, she survived by drinking swill; The soup, too, did not get a bite. Even if Xiuchun is a man, the law of "mother is more valuable than son" has to become "mother is inferior" when it comes to her.Who made Mo He so unhuman, according to Grandma Xiuchun's words, "has no eyesight to see"? Her descendants have not accepted her lessons either. Apart from cutting themselves off and abandoning themselves to the prosperity of society, what secular benefits can Qing Gao bring to them?

The so-called social justice is relative to competition, including fair or unfair competition.More often than not, the unrighteous one wins the day.However, they despise and resist all competition, whether legitimate or unfair, without exception, so they have to accept the injustice of society.What can I say! Any babies who survived in this way cannot but be guessed at. Some people said that Xiuchun's fate was so hard that she "wronged" her previous brothers and sisters to death, and said that her eyes were "poisonous". Even her grandfather, not to mention grandma, who had a reputation as a scholar, felt that there was something wrong with her, and when her mother gave birth again, she would be sent to a place where she could not be seen.But her sisters and brothers are still stubborn, disregarding the Ye family's expectation of receiving the fireworks, and resolutely rejected the temptation of this world.

It's hard to say if they covered their mouths and smiled when they left.They might have been snickering, because they had pushed Xiuchun to take care of the calamity they should have suffered but escaped. 5 Are Xiuchun's eyes "poisonous" or not?No one can verify. At the beginning of this century, not to mention the long past, there are many such specious legends in the villages and tribes hidden in the deep mountains and forests that have not been immersed in modern life. But some things are really strange. At least on the day Xiuchun's mother passed away, Xiuchun "saw" her in advance:

That morning seemed to be a morning of death, but it wasn't because two people died suddenly in the courtyard of Lao Ye's house that day.Don't think that there must be a fierce light and a fierce look between the sky and the earth on that day. On the contrary, the wind and sun are beautiful on that day, and everything looks like it. No matter how you look at it, you will feel at ease.Death under such circumstances is a death in which nothing can be said. First, the old Wang who lived in the west wing of Xiuchun's house died, he was not sick or disaster, but he just didn't wake up.Old Wangtou was widowed and lonely, so the folks in the village had to organize a funeral for him. Xiuchun's mother couldn't help, because she was about to give birth again. A woman who is going to have a child cannot participate in things like funerals, otherwise it will affect the deceased's afterlife. People in rural areas know more about the importance of the afterlife. Let’s not talk about reincarnation as pigs, horses, cows, sheep... Even if the reincarnation is still human, don’t face the loess and back to the sky.It is said that "the hot land is hard to leave", secretly yearning for the world beyond the land.Although the outside world is not exciting, once you have the opportunity to leave the land and go far away, you will be willing to break into the world wishfully. So she hid in the thatched shed in the vegetable garden in the backyard knowingly, waiting for the moment of labor. Anxiety and restlessness afflicted this woman who had repeatedly failed in childbirth monotonously and persistently. Leaning on the pillars in the thatched shed, she sat with her legs spread apart on the ground covered with sorghum stalks, and raised her fingers to the sun from time to time to examine the landscape inside.The fingers seemed to be filled with water, swollen, pale, and so transparent that hair-like blood vessels and flocculent muscles could be seen.Opening the front of the clothes, stroking the swollen abdomen... the whole body is also swollen like a silkworm spinning cocoons.She thought she must have been a silkworm in her previous life, so she gave birth to many children like a silkworm.Every time she gives birth, she has to go through such a dedicated and transformative process.Such childbearing seriously damaged her health: Pressing his hand lightly on his abdomen again, he felt the commotion of the unexpected baby, and remembered Ye Zhiqing's joke with her just now: "Look at you, don't lift you after you finish lifting Old Wang. " She doesn't care much about this joke. For life, she neither loves nor hates it very much, but has an attitude of letting it go. Maybe once loved...at what point?The blooming and decay of a flower is too hasty. Besides, she is an experienced mother after all, and she has given birth to so many children, but she is safe and sound—she smiled.When Xiuchun grows up, she also likes to laugh like this—knowing but powerless, and—a bit bitter aftertaste and free and easy. Ye Zhiqing happened to be visiting relatives at home again. Unlike usual, she always went through three barriers alone. In case of emergency, can she count on her mother-in-law and little sister-in-law?But Ye Zhiqing will soon know that his joke is not for nothing.Although Mo He is a country woman, she doesn't have a deep understanding of the important responsibility of inheriting the Ye family's fireworks.But Ye Zhiqing, who was studying business in Changchun, went home to visit his relatives once, and he made a correct shot.Once a woman, especially a woman of that era, was used as someone's basket, what right did she have to refuse someone's shot? As for whether the shooting is accurate, it is a technical issue and has nothing to do with love. What's more, Ye Zhiqing has been careless for a long time.It's too cruel for a man in his prime to have skin-to-skin contact with women only a few times a year.Although sometimes I go to low-level kilns to solve urgent needs, after all, an apprentice cannot afford such high consumption, so he can only do it occasionally. So it should be said to recharge your batteries.If you think carefully about the word "replenish your energy and store your energy", you will feel that it is a bit ambiguous, and it does not fit the usual interpretation and application. Mo He was born in a row of big tile-roofed houses, in a bustling courtyard where chickens, ducks, geese and dogs are called after you.The family not only has a large carriage, but also hired workers for many years.According to the saying after 1949, it must be a landlord, and the Ye family is probably a poor peasant. At that time, the ladies who did not leave the door and did not go out twice, except for the long-term workers at home, did not have many opportunities to contact men.But Wu Wei's grandmother, Mo He, didn't elope with any long-term worker in a logical manner, but married into the Ye family in a serious manner through the orders of her parents and the words of the matchmaker.But it cannot be said that she is conformist, and there is no sign of conformity in the way she behaves and handles things.She was able to marry into Ye's family according to the rules, maybe because the family didn't hire a romantic long-term worker. Wu Wei's way of thinking may have been flawed for a long time, and he spent a lot of time and energy in his life on meaningless assumptions, or daydreaming.Much like the hero in that novel. For example, she often imagined that if her grandmother eloped with some long-term worker, according to Mao Zedong's class analysis theory, Ye Lianzi might have participated in the revolution since she was a child, and might even become a hero of the Anti-Japanese Allied Forces... She has never been able to balance—there are so many possibilities in life, and it is said that there is no unparalleled path, but why does her mother Xiuchun, who is Ye Lianzi, have no way out? Wu Wei blamed himself for his untimely life.Because of her birth, not only Ye Lianzi's happy life at dawn was ruined, but also Ye Lianzi's chance to go to Yan'an with Gu Qiushui was delayed.Otherwise, Ye Lianzi, who arrived in Yan'an in 1938, might have become a revolutionary veteran, comparable to Hu Bingchen, and probably better than him.Maybe I would also be born in Yan'an, become a popular child in the Yan'an Nursery School, sit in a cradle on horseback, and enter Peiping. In her youth, Wu Wei longed for a revolutionary career and admired various heroes. She regretted that she never had the opportunity to dedicate herself to the revolution, so she had no choice but to hope for an opportunity—one day when the great leader Mao Zedong got seriously ill, she would donate her blood without hesitation. , to save his life.It was also one of her countless daydreams. Her later fascination with Hu Bingchen had a lot to do with Hu Bingchen's revolutionary experience.There is a song called (I am your bride for life), and for Wu Wei, Hu Bingchen is her lifelong hero. Wu Wei always confuses men's occupations with themselves: he regards a person who can sing two songs as a singer as music; a person who has written a few strokes and published a few books as a writer is regarded Literature; the kind of people who have made revolution and been to revolutionary base areas are regarded as revolutionaries... This kind of wishful thinking and excessive associations may come from her grandmother's family.It's just like her great-grandfather who equated the two characters on the Ye family's betrothal gift with the origin of her family's education.Don't you know that in most cases, being able to sing is not the same thing as music; similarly, being able to write two strokes, and even publishing many books, is not the same thing as literature at all. Wu Weize not only loves revolution, but also loves music, and loves literature.Looking at the men she has chosen in her life, almost all of them are related to this kind of love complex. "Shangshu Dazhuan, War Chapter" has "a lover who is also the bird on the house", but for her it is "a person who loves the bird and the person under the house", or both.If there is more love for her, what should I do?Then her life was very, very lively and troublesome. Fortunately, when she loved painting, she was already at the end of the day. If we do a census of the marriages in Xiuchun's mother's time, they can all be attributed to the products of the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmakers.This way of conjugal marriage has made many marriages unhappy; after 1949, it was used as the number one reason for dissolving an unhappy marriage, and it has been used for a long time. . In the future, if someone intends to exchange the old for the new, or even if it is not the old for the new, but the real marriage breaks down, they will "pass the village and lose the shop", and they will all become the emperor's consort because of the number one prize in the play. , and Chen Shimei, who was decapitated again by Bao Longtu, the master of Qingtian. Regardless of the historical authenticity, as far as drama theory is concerned, it has been more than 800 years since Bao Cheng got along with Chen Shimei in the Northern Song Dynasty. Until now, this crime is still in line with the national conditions and effective. Many men have had the experience of being labeled as Chen Shimei, just like many people were labeled as this "element" and that "element". What crime is "Chen Shimei"?There is nowhere to be found in legal terms.It's like what crimes the various "elements" are, and what their sentences are determined...there is nowhere to test the legal provisions.Before 1980, the People's Republic of China only had a constitution and an election law, but no civil law, criminal law, or procedural law. Where did people go to find out?Even the courts with a bright mirror hanging high have to refer to the Kuomintang's "Complete Book of Six Laws" when handling cases.It is not that people in the judiciary have never tried to formulate laws and improve the legal system.As early as 1962, Mr. Dong Biwu was responsible for compiling the law, but after the draft law was submitted for trial, it has not been seen yet. State President Liu Shaoqi also said in 1956: One of the urgent tasks in our country's work at present is to start to systematically formulate relatively complete laws and improve our country's legal system. Immediately in 1957, it was irresistibly reprimanded—we do not rely on civil law and criminal law to maintain order; the People's Congress and the State Council meetings have their methods, but we still rely on ours. Moreover, this majestic president of the country was put to death during the "Cultural Revolution" before even a law that was not perfect, a legal system that was not perfect.What is the basis for the law that puts a president of a country to death? Compared with "we still rely on our own ways", isn't the law and legal system advocated by Liu Shaoqi very naive? Not to mention that after the anti-rightist struggle in 1957, criticizing "judicial independence" was a bourgeois point of view, and the Legal Affairs Bureau and the Ministry of Justice were abolished.Beginning in 1960, the Ministry of Public Security, the Supreme People's Court, and the Supreme People's Procuratorate were ordered to work together. Without the relative independence of the public, the procuratorate, and the law, there was no mutual checks and balances among the various judicial agencies. . Fortunately, there is also the "Marriage Law" drafted by Wang Ming, a Trotskyist, that can be used as a reference for the marriage of men and women.However, who can expect a Trotskyite to make any scientific contribution to the Marriage Law? For women who are helpless in the face of family breakdown caused by whatever reason, at least this one has become evidence, an invincible and invincible magic weapon against marriage changes for whatever reason. When the story reaches here, "Chen Shimei" is already in a corner, eagerly waiting for Hu Bingchen who has not yet been born.Even under the domination of the world by the orders of parents and the words of matchmakers, there is no remedy, but people at that time were very dull and dead, and did not know how to use "outside transfers", which can be both earth-shaking and earth-shattering. It is a means to go to heaven, and to live in an instant. Shihuiyaozi is only more than 20 miles away from Ye's family, yet no one was sent there to make an external call: Can you betroth the girl to Ye's family? Xiuchun's grandfather did not hesitate before agreeing to the marriage. He doesn't value the dowry so much, it has nothing to do with being rich and powerful, it's just because he is a vivacious Northeast guy who disdains trivialities and posturing.Therefore, he disliked that the Ye family's betrothal gift was too mysterious - even a piece of soil was wrapped in red paper in a serious manner, wrapped in bags, and lifted box by box, several shelves at a time.But he didn't say anything about it, he just shook his head with his hands behind his back, thinking about how to evade the excuse, so that the relative who turned the corner and turned the matchmaker could get down.When he was pacing up and down with his hands behind his back like this, shaking his head and thinking about things, he didn't look like a landowner and hunter.It looks like a bold and unrestrained literati who is composing poems and fus.It's not like the landlords in dramas, novels, and movies after 1949. They are black-hearted, cruel, and extortionate, and they don't recognize their relatives except their renters. After much deliberation, it was still a "sorry, sorry". How can a person who thinks and handles things like this maintain, manage, and develop such a landlord's family?It is contrary to the norm of the house. At this time, someone came to greet him, the door slammed the mountain, and the voice was very bright, which was very suitable for the lime kiln located in the forest and snow field: "I have already contacted him, and tomorrow morning the mountain will hunt roe deer." His grandfather began to be distracted.He loves to hunt roe deer the most, and his family eats only roe deer meat.In winter, he hunted the spore meat, pheasant meat, and wild rabbit meat for the whole family to eat in hot pot. Turning his face and seeing the words on the dowry gift, he stopped, pondered, and immediately thought of the origin of his family: This poor amateur hunter and landlord who lived in a lime kiln at the beginning of this century was strangely obsessed with knowledge, and this obsession actually led him to send his two sons to the provincial capital to attend foreign schools.There is even a big book case in his main room. On the book case are the Four Treasures of the Study. Although they are not top-grade, they are quite expensive. Because they are rarely used, they are more like an embellishment.Just like people in later generations who have some money but don't know what painting art is, they spend money to hire a third-class painter to paint a two-meter-high portrait of themselves and hang it on the wall in the living room or on the side wall of the spiral staircase to show Elegant, and description of assets.Otherwise, I would not have given my daughter such an elegant name—Mohe, the "ink box" associated with the Four Treasures of the Study, which is not without homophony. Here comes. His level of civilization is also reflected in the fact that couples of different generations have separate rooms for each generation of couples, instead of according to local customs, a large family members are arranged in order of generation and sleep in pairs on a big kang.This is not because he has real estate money, there are people in the local area who have real estate money, and they don't necessarily do like him. He turned his head to look at the matchmaker—the relative who had made many detours, and with a flick of his arm, he agreed to the marriage. From thinking about how to shirk to agreeing with a flick of his arm, it took only about twenty minutes. It can be seen how uncertain he is, even though it took a lot of thinking.In fact, there is not much basis for his prevarication, nor is there much basis for his consent. Wu Wei thinks about problems in such a way of giving up the basics and looking for the last, that he can't say "no", and his cowardice of running away when faced with a major event that needs to be decisive may have roots.Ye Zhiqing can write a little, and he can count a little. This probably has something to do with his father not only being the only private school teacher in the village, but also a scholar, so the Ye family can be regarded as a scholarly family in the village. When it comes to this private school teacher in the country, it is inevitable that Kong Yiji will not come to mind. Although the stage is not in the hotel, but when he is combing his pigtails.His pigtails are not combed every day, and Xiuchun's grandma only combs them once every few days, let alone washing them.Whenever grandma combed his pigtails, she always pulled his hair fiercely while combing, and she still muttered, counting his incompetence, knowledge, shit, and the poverty that affected the whole family... and Kong Yi already What happened in the Xianheng Hotel was as gentle as it was, and it was even more explicit. With a pigtail on the back of his head and a bunt, this country private school teacher who is not as good as Kong Yiji, just teaches the students to read "Shang Mencius" and "Xia Mencius", or whatever.In any case, Kong Yiji still had a tattered long gown, and he could eat fennel beans, and occasionally drink a sip of Shaoxing flower carvings, and discuss with others several ways of writing the character "苘".What about him?Even the spiritual enjoyment of the several ways of writing the word "fennel" is not available.How does the environment he lives in compare with the outstanding Shaoxing?It's such a desert, even someone who knows where to start to ridicule Kong Yiji is hard to find, you can imagine how lonely he is.The whole family eked out a living mainly on his wigs.The so-called bundle of laziness is just a small bag of sorghum rice or a small bag of rice hawthorn, which has nothing to do with the strips of dried meat that the disciples gave to Confucius. .Mo He continued her natal family's addiction to knowledge. Before she passed away, she always insisted that Xiuchun follow her grandfather to private schools to sing "Disciples Regulations" and so on. ", "Learn the new by reviewing the old" and so on, although they don't understand the meaning, they can recite it backwards.This four or five-year-old granddaughter is considered the favorite student of this private school teacher, and her grandfather is also very fashionable, and sometimes finds some new books mixed with white and white to read. Mountain city..." and so on. Xiuchun also had a serious meeting with Grandpa.This childish skill made her handwriting until her death, even when her wrists were trembling and her brushwork was uncontrollable, she still kept Wu Wei's unmatched character.Therefore, Xiuchun's grandfather loved this girl who could inherit the fireworks of the Ye family. After Mo He married into the Ye family, her life changed drastically.In the Ye family's house, it rained and leaked, and the wind leaked. When it wasn't raining or windy, mice or worms would drop from the beams. She feeds the pigs, feeds the chickens, cooks and washes the dishes for the whole family, and has to sew clothes, socks, shoes for the whole family... But everything is not satisfactory to everyone. She has done too much, and there are too many things that cannot be counted.She is no different from the long-term worker at home, she is also a long-term worker. Mo He thought contemptuously, the people of the Ye family are really more showy than her natal family, and she doesn't know how the Ye family lived before she got married! Women are harsh and sharp to women.As much as Mo He's contempt for the Ye family, the mother-in-law and little sister-in-law can appreciate as much, and they can't miss a single point.They even tried different ways to torture this newcomer, who despised them. Whether it is the struggle between classes, the war between countries, the intrigue between politicians, or the blood debt between individuals... there will always be an end.Killed, cut, snatched, won... and it's over. What about women? Since Nora left in 1879 to the present, feminists have been committed to the struggle for equality between men and women and women's liberation for many years, and it can be said that they have followed suit.Don't you know that one day, when men and women are truly equal and women are liberated, they will find that the natural enemy of women may not be men, but women themselves, and there will be no end to eternity. Strictly speaking, the Ye family can't be regarded as abusing their daughter-in-law, they don't beat or scold, they give food and clothes. The little aunt just sat cross-legged on the kang and gave orders, causing Mohe to put down the dustpan and pick up the sieve. It might be too exaggerated to say that there is no time to breathe, and it is appropriate to say that there is no convenient time. A poor family can actually come up with so many troublesome things!What is the brain that can come up with these tasks if it is not a genius? The little aunt is really smart, and it's not just in the matter of how to order Mo He.She is tired and overwhelmed by everything.Even whether her hair is darker than others is a matter of her mind.Not to mention that before Mo He was married, she was the top beauty in the village... No wonder she died of tuberculosis in the end. Pig, after feeding the chickens for a day, cooking for the whole family, washing the bowls for the whole family, and mending the clothes, shoes, and socks for the whole family, Mohe should not expect to lie down on the kang to rest. Legs, go to sleep, the sleep that even the poorest and poorest people in the world have to sleep.She has to serve her mother-in-law to smoke. Xiuchun's grandma smoked a bag, and asked Mohe to fill a bag, order a bag, and smoke until Samsung came up.Sometimes Xiuchun's grandma fell asleep, woke up, and continued smoking. The impoverished Ye family, since Ye Zhiqing's daughter-in-law married into the family, immediately acquired the cultivation and temper of a landlord.It can be seen that the cultivation and temper of the landlord, as well as the oppression and exploitation of others, are not necessarily related to labor relations and means of production.Grandma's domination of the world didn't change completely until the uncle married into his daughter-in-law, who was Xiuchun's aunt. If we talk about Xiuchun's aunt, we must first explain what kind of role Xiuchun's uncle is, so that we can see how extraordinary the aunt is.It's like people in the martial arts can roughly know the number of opponents by looking at the guy that the opponent is used to using.Xiuchun's uncle opened a small grocery store in the village, selling oil, salt, sauce and vinegar.I have seen the world before, I worked as a clerk in a big shop, but because of my dishonesty, my boss fired me. The Ye family is indeed lackluster. "A gentleman's fortune will be cut for the fifth life", not to mention the fifth life, the Ye family can't even talk about the glory of the first life.How could such an honest country scholar raise a son who was either dishonest or embezzled public funds and was wanted by others?What this refers to is that Ye Zhiqing, who soon became a master of business, was hired by a bank, but because of embezzlement of public funds by going to a kiln, he had to escape Tiantian's incident.The woman my uncle married was a good match for him. The saying "If you don't belong to the same family, don't enter the family" is definitely not nonsense. When her aunt first got married, Xiuchun's grandmother also planned to give her a blow, just like Xiuchun's mother, to subdue Xiuchun's aunt in one fell swoop. Grandma didn't ask Xiuchun's aunt to do any heavy work that day, but told her to grind beans.What's so tiring about grinding beans?Which rural woman has not ground beans? But she drank the brine as soon as she came up.Thinking back when she was at her mother's house, she had already planned it. It's not that they drink as soon as they come up, but they run around the village with their hair disheveled, shouting at the sky, and running around the village.As she ran, she wailed sharply: "God, I can't live anymore, I can't live! This old Ye family just won't let my daughter-in-law live!——" It seemed that the Ye family was chasing after her. As many laps as she ran, the villagers followed her.The life in the country is too monotonous, too colorless, and too lonely, especially for women who have no ambitions, that is to say, they have little intentions, but they do not rule out a little messy mind.Besides chickens, ducks, pigs and dogs, besides working, what else is there besides a rag? Especially in winter, everything is covered by ice and snow, the sky and the ground are dead white, everyone hides in the house, only the smoke on the roof gives off a little vitality. Spring and summer better?But that scene, after looking at it for a lifetime, is also tiresome.The mountain has never collapsed, the ground has never sunk, and it will remain the same forever.People are not only cultivated by scenery, but also activated by events.When such a vivid and charismatic woman suddenly appeared, who could not follow, who could not be excited? After running back from the front and back of the village, she scooped up a bowl of brine, real or fake, and the clever little sister forgot to check her bowl. My aunt didn't really drink it either, she just slammed the brine bowl on the door with a bang, and then foamed at the mouth and rolled her eyes.The family poured cold water and pinched people again. Many women in the countryside know how to do this, I don't know if Mo He doesn't know how to do it, but he still disdains it. I think it is disdainful. A person who loves knowledge often disdains to do things that are very affordable for making a living, but will suffer a lot from knowledge.In the face of this colorful world, their best way is to be autistic, and it's okay to call them "wimps". Therefore, Xiuchun's mother did not lay a solid foundation for her in this regard. Xiuchun swallowed everything in her life, and Mo He should be responsible. The uncle, who is extremely vicious and never believes in karma, jumped up and plucked his aunt's hair. Steady, precise, and ruthless as if he were tying a fierce horse, when he raised his fist to make her shine brightly, my aunt would Like practicing martial arts.Turning around is a kick, hitting uncle's dick directly.Uncle's face turned pale immediately, and he squatted on the ground clutching his stomach, unable to get up. How could the couple not fight?In the countryside, a fight is a fight, a very pragmatic and specific contest of strength, unlike urban people, who call a fight that is only practical but not practical. They have tried several times since then.Uncle, who was invincible in the village, could no longer take the lead, and began Bei's record from then on. My aunt doesn't have any unique skills, she just kicks my uncle's dick.What a woman who dares to kick a man's lifeblood! How do men cherish their own lifeblood!And how to make up their minds for their lifeblood, not afraid of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties to fight for victory! From now on, when uncle meets aunt, it is like a rabbit meets an eagle. Not to mention the grandpa who is full of economics, but also has a lot of articles in his stomach, in front of such a woman, what else can this sour poor scholar be expected to do except to stamp his feet on his back and say "the family is unfortunate, the family is unfortunate——"?Grandma no longer dared to provoke my aunt, not only did she not dare to provoke her, but she subdued her instead. The little sister didn't dare to give her any orders anymore, as long as she frowned and said "Huh?—" the little sister would immediately evade her words and stop repeating her instructions. But this does not mean that grandma will be soft on another daughter-in-law.Grandma even used more advanced methods to torture Mo He in order to win over and please her aunt. Mo He should have hated the Ye family, but what she couldn't stand and embarrass her the most was Ye Zhiqing's bragging. She didn't know until she arrived at Ye's house that the words on the betrothal gift were written by the father-in-law who taught the private school.Ye Zhiqing is only able to write a little bit, and she can count a little bit, which is not the same as her brother who went to a foreign school. Ye Zhiqing can go whoring, can let her have a child who can't survive every year, and can let her serve like a servant... Although she is dissatisfied, she can't say anything. Isn't that a man's job?But bragging is absolutely unforgivable. This kind of hatred not only affects her offspring, but also affects those related to bragging or derived from bragging, such as hypocrisy, lying, etc. The problem of hanging teeth. From Mohe down, the women in their family are too demanding on people, even those great and great people can't help but not lie and hypocrisy, let alone all living beings? When Chanyue was in college, Wu Wei was at the pinnacle of his career, and it can be said that everyone who loves literature knows Qing.A boy from a foreign department asked, "I heard that the daughter of writer Wu Wei is in your department?" Even the most sensitive muscles on Chanyue's face never moved the slightest, "I don't know." She replied bluntly. Until graduating from university, few classmates knew that she was Wu Wei's daughter: What's more, Wu Wei is not without hypocrisy and lying. Compared with other people's hypocrisy and lying, the plot may be more serious. Secretly hiding the secret of having an illegitimate child.So, what right does she have to be intolerant of others' hypocrisy and lies? 对于叶家，墨荷最有力的反抗就是回娘家、它的娘家，因为颇具实力而非同一般人的娘家。 娘家是每个无能、嫁作他人妇的女人惟一退身之地；虽不能从根本十解决她们的难题，总能给她们一个缓冲的机会，让她们和困难暂时拉开距离．稍事喘息，即便学至博士的现代女子，这一隅之地恐怕也是不可或缺的。多年后秀春惨痛地想，她却连这样一块退身之地也没有。 吴为算是三生有幸，如果她没有这块退身之地，可能早巳粉身碎骨，而叶莲子留给她的这块退身之地，吏让人叹为观止。他人哪里晓得，吴为不过徒有一副皮囊而已，每逢由于她的任性、轻率、兴之所至……冒犯天下，又没有勇气承受世人讨伐之时，正是是叶莲子撑起她的那副皮囊，替地活下来的。她又算是不幸、偏偏在不是她的过错，不过为情所困却被逼得几近崩溃之时，叶莲子撒手而去，绝了她最后的退路。在痛失“极地”的绝望时刻，她丧失理智地犯下了足以毁灭她余生的大过，所以叶莲子一去，她也就去了，人们看到的。跳过是她那副还没有败去的皮囊、秀春外祖父家，是个山清水秀的地方，满族四大发祥地之一，谈不上仁人杰地灵，却称得起物华天宝。 难怪中国对外开放以后，一位来访的美籍华人作家间吴为：“你是不是出身于一个满族的贵族之家？” "why?" “看你的额头和鼻子。因为我们家是，我熟悉这种额头和鼻子。”“不是。”她决然地回答说。 反正叶家绝对不是，叶家是从山东逃荒过来的贫农。这从地小脚拇趾外侧另有一粒大如小米粒的趾甲，就能准确无误地确定，地是那山东贫农的种。 叶莲子也从来不曾对她谈过曾外祖父的家族史。即便曾外祖父是满族的一个贵族，她也只能是贵族和贫农的杂种。人们也不难从吴为品位的驳杂，得到杂种的印证。 每次回娘家，墨荷只让叶志清送到村于门，从来不让他跟进娘家门，他也就不进。 也许是那物华天宝的地界让叶志清白惭形秽，也许是秀春外妍父家那高墙大院里鸣鸣狗叫、人声鼎沸的气势对他有种威慑力，一个只会吹吹小牛，还没有修炼到气壮山河那个地界的人，一旦面对真刀真枪，底子里先就发了虚。 也许他们两个人都觉得，关于叶家和叶志清．墨荷的娘家人还是知道得越少越好．在叶家的生活、处境，墨荷对娘家人也是只字不提，她丢个起受虐待的面子。 不让丈夫进自己娘家的门，恐怕在二十世纪末的庄市面上也会遭人非议。而一个乡下女人二十世纪初，就有这样的惊世骇俗之举，可见她是如何地任性好强，也可见她对叶家的报复之心——种殃及池鱼、不算大气的报复。 当然，这和她不但不爱叶志清，也看不起叶志清至极有关。 如果那时叮以离婚，像她这样的女人，非和叶志清离婚不可。 奇怪的是她也很少让秀春跟着回娘家，这很不合乎乡下女人的规矩和思路，如果说是看不起叶志清，为什么也不带秀春回娘家？是嫌弃秀春冥顽不化，不知厉害深浅非要到世上受一遭？也许没想到自己会死得那么早，觉着和秀春的缘分还长着呢。因为墨荷老是回娘家，秀春对母亲的慈爱没有留下多少记忆。留下印象的大约只有一两次。 一次秀春在街上玩，迎面撞上一头猪。那头猪大得像牛犊，不但把她撞倒；还把她撞得当场昏厥。墨荷以为她死了，哭得死去活来。等她缓醒过来，看到妈妈吓成那个样子，不但没有像多数孩子那样就势发挥地哭闹，大赚一把以物质形式支付的呵护或抚慰，反倒咧着没有血色的嘴，默默地笑了。 再一次就是在外祖父的丧宴上。她等不及上菜，空心吃了一办蒜。蒜味直捣她的小心窝，辣得地捂着心口嗷嗷叫，墨荷不知她得了什么病，急得踢倒了凳子，撞翻了席面……事后秀春觉得辣这——场也算值得。这种为了一个无须证实的答案不惜工本的思路本就反常，而于一个仅仅四五岁的孩子，是更加地反常了。 墨荷是个美丽的女人。一个女人，又美丽，该是很不幸的。但她没有走出农村，相对来说还不算过于复杂。美丽的女人大多任性而多情。倒不一定对他人，对自己何尝不可多情！所谓“艳若桃李，冷若冰霜”的人，可能更加自作多情，不然就像糟践了这份美丽的造化。 这个方圆几十里都数得上的美人，在乡下的枯寂日子里，何以消耗她饱满的感情？既不能参加party，与哪个风流倜傥的男人共舞；也不能在影视上出尽风头，掠获若干崇拜者；更不可能在美术展、音乐会仁与哪位趣味相投的男士一见钟情……只能自己给自己制造点欢爱，享受一下爱情的幻觉。 不要以为一个没有读过《白雪公主》的乡下女人就没有对白马王子的希冀，女人们自出生起，就在等待一个白马王子，那是女人与生俱来的本能，直到她们碰得头破血流，才会明白什么叫做痴心妄想。 要想给自己制造点欢爱，在那穷乡僻壤，谈何容易？ 能够称得上华彩的片段，可能就是到了七月，过了处暑。那时候，青麻桃似的榛子壳儿，沉郁的残绿里就驳杂、斑斓、沉湎着酒红。如果没有一种自在、自信、沉醉和成熟，淮敢出此心裁、创意，把这样两种大反大逆的颜色放在一起！ 那栋子仁儿也就粒粒饱满了。 墨荷就可以放下没完没了的劳作，和女人们一同上山采榛子。那是生活在山脚下的庄户女人惟一名正言顺具有休闲性质的活动。 一到山脚，墨荷就远离了伙伴，一头钻进榛子棵儿，并不急着运动两只手赶紧把榛子收归已有，而是窝在榛子棵儿里，欣赏那榛子壳儿的颜色，心里叹着，好漂亮的颜色，好漂亮的颜色啊！ 再不就采一颗，愣一愣，想一想。这是采给他的，而那个他又似乎不是叶志清。 回到家里，一颗颗挑、一颗颗选，选出那最饱满的，用牙轻轻一“垫”，壳儿就裂了，棒子仁儿也就剥出来了。再一颗颗收起那些榛子仁儿，心想，这是留给他的，而那个他也似乎不是叶志清。 即便叶志清回到家里，吃光那些圆圆溜溜去了壳儿的榛子仁儿，她也不觉得是叶志清吃的。 榛子吃多了上火，有一年直吃得叶志清两眼眵目糊，鼻子直流血，可那不是她的事。 她就这样双眼隙咙、两颊羞红地想像着一个意中的男人。而那男人是如何地中意，地又是说不清楚的。 不过她的想像却混杂着颜色。一般来说，想像是没有颜色的，就像梦是没有颜色的一样。可是她的想像，常常带着处暑之后榛子壳儿的残绿和酒红，就像极少、极少数的人，偶尔会在梦中梦见颜色。 吴为后来能在十分孤绝的情况下，为自己制作、演出一些生活小品，勉力地让他人、更让自己相信，她的日子过得有滋有味，很可能是传袭了外祖母墨荷这方面的基因。 她拨弄着那些榛子，自己一颗也舍不得吃；可是还有秀春呢，她看看秀春，再精益求精，仔细剔出稍有缺损的榛子，分给她惟一存活的孩子。 秀春只能等着，从留给那个并不存在的男人的存货里筛出来的那几颗榛子。 ——和吴为后来对待叶莲子以及对待禅月的态度很不相同。 这就是为什么有一天胡秉宸突然对吴为说：“我从没有得到过你的心。” 吴为回说：“你这样说有没有良心？从和你相爱到现在，哪个男人人过我的眼？” 胡秉宸认真地想了想，说：“不，不是有关男女的问题……我说不准确。” 其实症结在于，比之她的外祖母墨荷，也许还有叶莲子，还有禅月，吴为很可能对不起爱她的那些男人，严重一点说，她也许坑骗了那些爱她的男人。除了恋爱时期的短期行为，她从不能把对哪个男人的情爱放在叶莲子或是禅月的血缘之上，——虽说这是两种不同的爱，并不矛盾，任何人都可以兼容并蓄，但在吴为却是例外。 她对胡秉宸的爱，只能是一种可以交出生命，却无法交出完整的心的爱，永远熬煎在非此即彼，不能平分秋色的歉疚中。并非吴为不愿或不忠实于胡秉宸，等到我们渎完吴为的一生，便可知道这例外的由来。 除此之外，很多方面，吴为可能更接近这个无缘一见的外祖母。 6 西厢房的老王头和叶家一样，都是穷苦之人，方方面面无望在日常生活中铺陈的人家，只能在他们重大的人生节目上，对无望隆重地做一次无望的补偿。 这最后的铺陈，却以喜庆的方式进行叙述，特别唢呐的尖峭高昂，更是撕天裂地、大热大闹、大惨大烈。吹鼓手们好像不是给老王头送殡，而是有机会豁出劲来发泄一场悲喜交加。在唢呐恣意放纵的冲击下，敏感、生来就对“过分”不适的秀春，陡然生出莫名的不安。她才想起很长时间没有看到妈妈了。路上没有，院子里没有，屋子里没有，炕上也没有……她来到后院的菜园子。菜园子差不多是每家每产堆放垃圾的地方。一个穷家能舍弃的东西，除了让人想到物尽其极的穷困，还能有什么？ 妈妈活着的时候，种莱是妈妈的事情。这些活计，还要晚一点才轮到秀春的头上。所以秀春那时只看得见菜园子里的颜色，还看不见园子里的寒碜、败破，朽木断石、碎碗烂锅…… 菜园子后面就是山。山的暗影随着太阳时而东移，时而西落，菜园子里的一切也就有了时明时暗的对比。妈妈去世以后，这里更是秀春一个常来常往的劳作之地，直到她离开这块土地，那经久的、明暗之间的起落转换，于她是好还是不好呢？ 园子里种着庄稼人平平常常的菜蔬，倭瓜、黄瓜、茄子、土豆、白菜什么的、正是春夏之交，各种菜花你方开罢我登场，园子里该是有点活气的。 每到菜园子秀春就会想，为什么除了茄子花，别种菜花大都是黄色的？豆角花倒是该红的红、该绿的绿，她却喜欢上了颜色不一般的茄子紫，也把对茄子紫的喜爱，遗传给了吴为和禅月。 后来有了喜欢做文章的人，连颜色也不放过，从对各种颜色的喜爱，去推断人们的性格，喜欢茄子紫的人，据说浪漫而神秘。这种推断，和秀春的选择其实关系不大。 秀春在菜园子里找来找去，终于看到草棚子里有张像脸又不像脸的东西，虚虚实实隐现在草棚子的暗影里。 她被那张像脸又不像脸的东西吓了一跳。 菜园子里突然有了荒凉之意，虽则菜秧子上的花还千朵万朵地开着，可就一朵朵地沉下脸，显出凋敝。 即便太阳西落时也显得轻如云黛、遥不可及的山的暗影，此时却重重地压了下来，无声地向菜园子逼近，一霎间就将菜园子和秀春罩了个严严实实。 这时秀春听见有人叫她，“秀春，是我，我在这儿。” Mother!是妈妈？ 她走进草棚子，脸对脸地瞧着妈妈，怎么看，怎么也不是妈妈的模样-地伸出小手，迟迟疑疑地摸索着妈妈的脸，妈妈就捉住她的小手，握在了自己的手里。何止是妈妈的手，整个妈妈似乎都化作了一缕不可在握的烟尘…… 可手掌上的暖意、粗粝，却还是活生生的，依然是秀舂熟悉的……她不能说那不是妈妈；她心迷意乱……又在倏忽间感知，一个母女二人灵魂同时出窍，明明白白只能束手待毙、肝肠寸断的时刻到了。秀春最后断定，不，那女人已经不是妈妈了。 后来她知道，这就是“走形”。所谓“走形”就是人的灵魂已经远去，留下的，不过是一副暂时没有败去的皮囊。 谁的眼睛这么“毒”，能够看出“走形”不“走形”？秀春却有这样的异禀。类似的情况，曾在，也将在她的身上反复出现。好比为了阻断吴为与胡秉宸的情爱，几乎闹到她们母女感情破裂也在所不惜，好像吴为不是谈情说爱，而是去上断头台。吴为多少继承了她的这副眼力。叶莲子去世后，她最担心的就是难免不在比她年长许多的胡秉宸身上，眼见“走形”的一天，这也是她后来总是逃避和胡秉宸长相厮守的一个不大可也不小的原因。 对此，吴为又不肯、不能说出一个字，她总觉得天机不可泄露。由此可见，吴为的胆小，不是一般的胆小，正像前面说过的那样，而是非常地小，毫然成为“活”的一大障碍。她怎会胆小到如此违反常情的地步，的确让人难以理解，以至于不可原谅；不知这是天生，还是后天什么原因造成。 像胡秉宸这种“天降大任于斯”的人，如何会想到男女之间的关系是如此之脆弱？影响它的因素，又是如此之复杂、之繁多、之无处不在、之不胜细腻……连吴为被叶莲子的“走形”，被失去亲人的打击吓破了胆，也会影响他们的共同生活。 做吴为的丈夫岂不是太难？哪个男人胜任得了？ 刚拾走老王头，墨荷就要生产了，叶志清找来接生婆，生下一个小妹妹。这个小妹妹又是一脚刚刚踏进世界，连忙又逃回去了。 可是这一次墨荷却血流不止。接生婆用了很多香灰、灶灰、炕灰去堵，用完了自己家的，也用完了西厢房老王头屋里的，血还是流个不住。她很快就昏迷了。人们把秀春拉到墨荷跟前，让秀春可着嗓子喊妈妈，都说亲生孩子这样喊，妈妈就不会死了。 秀春奋力地喊哪，喊哪。那不是喊，而是把自己化作一条条喊叫，一声接一声从体腔里抽出。从此以后她再没有这样喊叫过，不要说这样的喊叫，连一般的喊叫也没有，不论遇到什么灾难，她倒更加紧闭嘴巴。 不但她不喊叫，吴为和禅月也不喊叫。如果说以叶莲子顶门立户的叶家有什么特别之处，就是她们不爱喊叫。 秀春不知喊了多久。墨荷才慢慢睁开眼睛：地看着秀舂，费力地把嘴张丁又张，那生命的残响才从喉咙里幽幽传出，那缥缈的声音，除了秀存谁也没有听到：“我部走了那么远了，你又把我叫回来了。秀春，别哭，妈不会死的，妈舍不得你呀……” 自从墨荷落人垂死的挣扎，再没有看过叶志清一眼。到了这个地步，她不但和志清的关系已经了结，就是和她想像中的某个男人也都了结。在那弥留的时刻，她只是眼巴巴地看着秀春，千言万语无从说起。其实人在那种时刻，牵挂的不是血缘就是虚无。当年白帆的六个耳光，导致胡秉宸猝发心肌梗塞，吴为总以为在他生命垂危之时，一定会像他写给她的小曲那样：“……那时节到了奈河桥上也，我也要回头强挣扎，为的是把那魂儿、灵儿、心儿、肝儿，一齐往你那边挂，那疼你的心情儿也，更是干倍万倍地大。”其实，那不过属于爱情的童话。 很可能吴为忘记或记锗了(战争与和平夯那部小说里的一些情节——安德烈公爵在和死神搏斗的时候，爱情既没有禁受住什么考验，也战胜不了什么——以为有了她的爱，胡秉宸就一定能够战胜死亡。 爱情不过是一种奢侈，如果有幸得到那种机会，享受就是，怎么能让“奢侈”风马牛不相及地承担如此沉重而严肃的任务？ 胡秉宸能够闯过鬼门关，是他命不该绝，和爱情无关，也和医学无关。 秀春身上那件补了又补的衣衫，被浑身的黏汗透湿。 汗有那么黏滞？ !秀春是把全身饮食水谷之精华所化生的津液，刹那间一总付与了抢救妈妈的生命。 她把脸儿贴在妈妈的胸口，惊魂未定地用小手抚摩着妈妈的身子，又招心搅着妈妈，又担心妈妈再次远走，不敢歇气地轻声叫着：“妈妈，妈妈——” ……难为小小年纪的她，方方面面都考虑到了。 墨荷这时才明白，围在她身旁的男男女女、老老少少，只有这个身高不过炕沿，只能捡食缺损的榛子仁儿，又不常带她回娘家的六岁小女儿，才是真真确确，一心想要解救却又解救否了她的人。 她像小河里捞出的、晾在岸上的小鱼，拼着力气对秀春嚅动着嘴唇，可这一回．却无沦如何发不出声音了。从墨荷不停地想要对秀春说点什么的样子，就不是个好兆头。一个还有时间的人，总是把事情留待以后；一个没有时间的人，才会急着把话说完。 事情也从来不会遂人所愿，因为舍不得一个人，那注定要死的人就不会死。 她们母女二人，早在后菜园的草棚子坚就交割清楚，现在要告别的，不过是那一副皮囊。 墨荷终于设有说出壅塞在嘴里的话。她流下最后一滴眼泪，不甘地半张着嘴，闭上了眼睛。，这一滴泪，和七十多年后的秀春，也就是叶莲子那最后一滴泪如出一辙。简直就是同一滴眼泪的翻版。屋子里所有的动静，似乎在秀春扑向妈妈怀里那一瞬停顿，以便为她留下一个空隙，接纳从她腔子里喷射出来的呜咽。 她的小手无力地摇着妈妈的头，想要把妈妈摇醒。不明白那是徒劳，以为不过是自己力气太小。她张开泪眼向周围的人求救，可是人们转身准备后事去了。 该是到了一个必得挺起小脊梁骨的时刻？她只好自力更生，动用一个不过在世上混了六年的脑子，设法营救一个已然无法营救的生命；她伸出胳膊，想要把妈妈抱进自己的怀里，也许她的怀抱可以护着妈妈，躲过这一时之灾。可是她的胳膊太短，炕头太高。她把脚后跟踮了又踮，也只能搂住妈妈的肩膀、地爬上炕，把小胳膊插列妈妈身子下面，用尽力气向后翻仰……还是无法把妈妈抱进怀里。地万般无奈地放弃这个打算，也许——也许可以用门己的身体，把妈妈遮挡起来？便火张着手臂扑向妈妈。可她遮挡了妈妈的头，又遮挡不住妈妈的身体；遮挡了蚂妈的胸口，又遮挡不住妈妈的双腿……她的两只小手在妈妈身上上上下下毫无结果地忙碌着。 这一回，妈妈是一去不回头了。 墨荷没有向秀春兑现她不会死的承诺。 这是叶莲子遭遇的第一个不能兑现的记录。从此，她就开始了虽有开户账号，却从来不能兑现的败局。 这第一个不能兑现的记录，也就成了她第一个致命的创伤。 如果说吴为在包家遭遇的那段楼梯，影响了她的…生，那么墨荷的去世就影响了秀春的一生。 在那粗针大线、穷乡僻壤的地方，怎么会生出叶莲丫这种多愁善感的人？ 听以才会有她的后来：忙不迭地走出老家，忙不迭地嫁给顾秋水……穷乡僻壤固然粗粝，外面的世界更让人难以生存。一个多愁善感的人，就只好遍体鳞伤了。 可她不走出老家，又有哪条活路町走？ 连奶奶都这样劝说：“你还是跟着父亲走吧，好歹他足你的父亲。我和你爷爷也不能老活着，我们一死你怎么办？你叔叔婶婶……唉，你得走，你得走哇！” 这个吴为虽然无缘一见，却在吴为身上暗暗留下不少痕迹的女人，卒年三十有四。 吴为有数不清的遗憾。叶莲子生前，她从没有向叶莲子追询过有关外祖母的一切，让她以后连来自母亲家族叫一份骨血也无处寻觅，最终不得不远上岐山，求一处安放叶莲子和自己的骨灰之地，却又不得而归。 她只知道，外祖母是石灰窑子的人。想必那是一个盛产行灰的地方，有很多烧石灰的灰窑。 不论叶家或是顾家，还有很多那两个姓氏的男人，有头有脸地过着很好的日子，奇怪的是吴为从未寻认过叶家或是顾家男人的血脉，好像她和来自这两家男性的血脉无牵无碍。甚至叶莲产过世．除了顾秋水谁也没有通知。不论叶家或是顾家的人，与叶莲于，与她们母女的死别之痛，有何相干？送叶莲子登程，只能是她们两个人之间的事。即便通知顾秋水，也只是为了对他说那句话：“你们之间的恩恩怨怨，这回是彻底完结了。”阴狠地把顾秋水永久地钉在赖账不还的负数上。 甚至幸灾乐祸地想，在叶莲子离世以后，即便顾秋水有朝一日想讨叶莲子说一句“对不起”的时候，也无从说起了。 奶奶对爷爷和父亲说：“秀春他妈是坐月子死的，不吉刊，一定得烧了，要不然地就得回家闹事。” 爷爷说：“应该等她娘家来人商量一下。”至于父亲，要说他一点不伤心也不客观，可是人一死，立刻也就成了过去。在所有的力量中，“过去”可能是最不可小看的一种力量。 “不能商量，一商量就烧不成了。还得赶快烧，她娘家人一到也烧不成了。”奶奶是那样地决绝，不管不顾，当然更不会问一问一旁的秀春同意不同意。奶奶找出妈妈的衣服，翻了一件又一件，差不多都是补过的。嫁到叶家近十年，什么时候做过新衣？而陪嫁过来的衣服，几年来干活是它、平日是它、出客是它，不破还能怎样？只有一件稍微囫囵的衣服，可能是墨荷留着走娘家穿的。 “就是这件吧，快给她换上！”奶奶说。 叶志清找来几块薄板，给墨荷钉了一副“平板”，而不是棺材。 爷爷研了墨，拣了一块好木板，给墨荷写了一个墓牌。 接着奶奶吩咐人，把院墙